You’ve Been, Chumderstruck
It was another late, sweaty, night for Chum Chanchom at Blu, the restaurant at which he was currently employed. It was a serviceable job, the pay was nice, and the busy pace kept his mind on what was important, school. Chum had a very specific vision of the way he wanted his life to go. A good job, a quiet family, the ebony woman of his dreams, and at least four hours a day dedicated to letting him play Grand Theft Auto V in solitude. Across town, Tylor sat alone, another Friday with nothing but his computer and an internet full of porn by his side. He had a chance to get out there and get laid, but he was worried that his former associate and schoolmate Dave would take all of his chicks. It was a tale as old as time, Tylor had come to accept his current place in the universe, as it was perfectly suitable before he went to college. It was there, that all his dreams would finally come together. Tylor had bought a new pair of glasses, but these weren’t any ordinary glasses. Inside these glasses held special recording equipment that Tylor planned on capturing young, possibly drunk, females performing sexual acts on him while secretly being recorded. It was a planned act of sexually deviancy on an epic scale, one that had been years in the making. The website was up, all he needed was some gullible, young girls to meet his demand, and fall prey to his ways. He left his new toy on the desk of his room, knowing he’d be using it as soon as he went to school. Nobody, however, would expect what would happen next to these two single men.
It was an unusually hot late august, and his job had Chum working like a dog. His sweat glands had been pushed into overdrive, and he was in need of a change in clothes. Chum ran into a sweaty problem, while Tylor had his own, he was getting anxious and was tired of being alone. Tylor, typed away at his computer, inviting the sweaty young man over for a game of Max Payne, and maybe a cup of ice, cold water. Chum felt enticed by his offer, never a man to turn down a video game or something free, he agreed, on one condition. Chum couldn’t stand his sweaty state he currently stood in, so he gave him a proposal. If Tylor gave him a change of clothes, down to even the underwear, he would skip the chance to go home. He was puzzled by Chum’s request; it wasn’t something he heard often, being asked to give his underwear to someone. In fact, it was usually it was the other way around, and it wasn’t Chum but girls. He didn’t see the harm in letting someone borrow his clothes, as long as they returned them, but Chum promised so they had a deal. It felt like the longest wait of Tylor’s already long life, for whatever reason, he was extra excited to see his friend tonight, maybe it was the odd placement of the moon, but Tylor just felt different that night. When he saw the car’s lights reflection as they pulled into the street, Tylor made sure everything was just perfect for Chum’s arrival. The house was clean, his hair was trim, and his shirt was tucked in, to make a rather dapper appearance. Chum, disheveled and more excited for playing video games, walked up to the house, black bag of video games in hand. Tylor, eagerly anticipating his arrival, quickly answered the door with a large swing, and an even larger smile. “Welcome friend! I hope you found my home with little to no trouble,” he said, quickly, with a nervous crack in his voice.
“Oh yes, as usual my friend,” he says warmly, finding comfort in the usual excitement of his friend. Chum stepped inside, keeping an eye on the Xbox at all times, ensuring it didn’t go anywhere. “So before this game thing gets started, you said you have clothes for me?” Chum asked.
“Yes my friend! Follow me, I have a selection you can choose from in my room.” So Chum reluctantly followed Tylor up the stairs, confused by why his friend was extra excited tonight.
“Well here you go! Please, feel free to take whatever you want to out of this line up,” Tylor explained as he showed off his collection of prepared underwear. Ranging from briefs, to man thongs with nothing in between, Chum was shocked by Tylors choice in underwear fashion.
“So, you don’t have any sort of boxers or at least boxer briefs?”
“I’m afraid not friend, all else I have are compression shorts, and those are on me right now!” Chum was visibly upset with Tylor’s choice in underwear, but did not wish to offend his friend, so he picked a pair of briefs that were the most conservative.
“Oh! You know, I think I have more stuffed into this drawer,” Tylor explained as he motioned towards the drawer across the room. They walked over to the drawer, but unfortunately this was no ordinary drawer. This was Tylor’s troublesome drawer that refused to open because it was very old. Tylor yanked at the handle, to no avail.
“Maybe if I had some help?” Tylor called upon Chum to help. He did, hoping to hurry through these shenanigans and get back to the video games. They pulled and they pulled, but the drawer did not move an inch, but eventually Tylor found his hand on Chums. They both looked at the skin touching skin and looked away quickly, moving their hands. Tylor’s cheeks were rosier than usually, Chum’s hair grew curlier. They gave one last pull, and the drawer finally gave out, sending Chum falling back across the room, hitting Tylor’s record player. The needle fell, and the vinyl started spinning until Bruce Springsteen’s “Dancing in the Dark” started playing. It was quiet, as they sat embarrassed in their clumsiness until laughter erupted from both, unable to play it straight. Tylor helped Chum up, and they both turned to the record player, and then back to each other. “May I?” he asked Chum was a wink in his eye but still much reservation. The music blared, as their bodies moved with the beat, their souls set ablaze with life. Twisting and swinging, both of them had no ends or beginnings, but in that moment they were one.
You can’t start a fire,
You can’t start a fire without a spark,
This gun’s for hire,
Even if we’re just dancing in the dark
It was a one in a million moment, not a second wasted, but they were feeling physical perfection. They could never have fun like this with Jeffrey, Dakota, or the Monkey Man around.
You sit around getting older
There’s a joke here somewhere and it’s on me
I’ll shake this world off my shoulders
Come on baby the laugh’s on me
“Haha! Oh Tylor-san, this is the most fun I’ve ever had in my entire life!” Chum proclaimed as Tylor twirled him. Passion could never have any meaning as it did here, ever again. Tylor whirled Chum closer to him, holding him close, as they locked eyes. They were both embarrassingly aroused, unable to lock eyes as they had seconds ago.
“I guess I should put on those clean clothes now.”
“Oh yes, how could I have forgotten?” They let go of each other, and turn opposite directions. Chum slowly walks over to the bed and carefully observes his choices. Normally he would go with briefs, but Tylor-san was special. He grabbed one of the many banana hammocks Tylor had to offer. Tylor was anxious to see what he might look like in his new apparel, but Chum wanted it to be a surprise.
“Now is the time you close your eyes friends, so as you are not to see me without my clothes.”
“Oh my, yes Chum-chan, forgive me.”
Chum slowly unbuttoned his pants, replacing his own, sweat heavy underwear, with some a pair of Tylor’s much better clean, tight underoos.
“So, what do you think?” Chum asked, as Tylor proceeded to open his eyes.
“Oh my goodness! Chum you look beautiful!” Tylor exclaimed, wiping tears from his eyes. Tylor saw Chum’s body as a piece of fine art, and why he was not in display at this very moment in a museum would forever be a mystery to him.
“Thank you, but, I there’s something I must ask you Tylor-san.”
“What is it? Anything for you Chum-chan.”
“I… Must see what you look like in yours.”
Tylor understood completely, and shook his head yes as he lowered his drawers. Underneath his pants he revealed his prized compression shorts. Chum’s heart was full of lust, he could no longer hide his newfound feelings for Tylor.
“Tylor-san… I’m afraid I’ve fallen for you, please tell me you feel the same.”
“Chum-chan, I’ve waited so long to hear you say this. Please show me you love me.”
Tylor pulled down his compression shorts to reveal his not small, but more average penis, to which Chum knew to put his body on display. At the sight of naked Chum, Tylor’s privates were immediately struck with rigor mortise. He knew what he wanted and it was Chum. They grabbed each other feeling each other’s arms and backs as they slowly forced each other’s tongues into their mouths. It was passionate and sloppy, but it was the best kiss either of them had ever had. After these minutes of putting their mouths on display, the touching began. Touching every part of their bodies, rubbing, stroking, and eventually all the sensuality led to Tylor’s anus. Chum was amazed by how much of his hand fit in there right off the bat, Tylor had been preparing himself for years for such an encounter.
“You are ready for me?” Chum asked, seductively.
“I have been my whole life.”
Chum could see in his eyes, both on his head and on rear end of his body that Tylor was ready. Choosing to opt out of the safety of a condom, maybe just caught up one the romance of the moment, Chum entered his domain. It was so warm and homely, while Tylor seemed to struggle initially, he became cool and relaxed, not wanting to disappoint Chum. A slow start, but it went on steadily, Chum was no stranger to sexual act, even if this was his first time with someone of the same sex. They went on, pumping, thrusting, grunting, accepting, and giving it right back. Their legs were beat, and raw from such power they were building up. Faster, stronger, harder, good thing those underpants weren’t on or they might get sweaty all over again. But there was a problem.
Tylor didn’t shave his rectum hair, and the hair was starting to agitate Chum’s penis. Not only the quantity of anus hair, but its thickness was too much for Chum. There could be two outcomes, they were going to start a fire, or Chum’s skin was going to be graded off like sandpaper.
“Wait!” Chum exclaimed, “I can’t keep going on like this, your hair… it’s too much for me, I’m afraid I cannot go on.” Tylor understood, for it was his curse that so much hair could upset his lovers. Tylor did what any rational man would do. He started grabbing clumps of hair, and ripping them out. The pain was excruciating! His howls of pain could easily reach the heavens above, but if anything could turn Chum on, it was a strong male protagonist. Chum could easily keep his erection while Tylor went about removing the hair, clump by clump.
“It is done!” Tylor said as he proudly raised the final cluster of ass hair from his nether regions. Chum gladly resumed where he left off, noticing how his much nicer it felt on his privates. In the heat of passion Chum knew he was ready.
“I’m going to c-c-c-chum!” Chum squeaked out.
“Do it Chum! I’m ready!”
The flood doors opened, Chum released his seed into Tylor. It was exactly the cool release Tylor had been looking for. Consequently Tylor released his seed onto his bedroom floor. There was a mess, and as soon as Chum backed up, even more released from Tylor’s anus onto the floor. It was a mess. It was disgusting. But it was a beautiful new bond the two friends, now lovers, shared. As the two cleaned up and changed into sweat less, clean clothes, little did they remember that Tylor’s recording glasses were still sitting on his desk. Glasses that Dakota found the next day he came over, and eventually put up on the internet for all to see, as he was touched by the love his two friends found, but also that he thought it was really, really gay.
This story is in dedication to Tylor Havard, who was choked to death in a headlock on the front of his lawn by his father. Less we not forget.