My marriage is great. I’m happy with an amazing husband who I married at a young age.
So why am I on here every night?
It’s a question that goes through my mind daily. Like I said, my marriage is great. It’s not perfect, nothing in this life is, it’s a rollercoaster like any marriage; up and down. We both have our issues but we work on them for each other whether it’s alone or together that we deal with those issues.
I’ve always loved role play. Most women when younger would play house, either with Barbie’s or their friends and family. I was no exception.
I keep a mental list of all of the names I want for my children and have done this for years since I was little. Sometimes at night when younger, I used to pretend I was going to sleep with my future husband, who was usually my school crush, and would kiss the wall or place my hands in a certain way to mimic someone holding me.
I joined the forum to write sex stories. I’ve written two mediocre ones, and mostly stay on the forum to roleplay instead of my original idea.
My first mistake was getting sucked into that vortex.
Recently, I met this guy who agreed to roleplay with me and was into dominating which I loved because I’m a submissive. The roleplay was amazing but somehow it turned to more, which is blurry to me but it started with a simple request to see a picture of my lingerie laid out because I don’t send nudes. It sounds silly but I didn’t do it, I was so terrified and nervous to take a huge step.
I took an even bigger step and started to send nudes. Again, it’s blurry how it happened but the way he talked to me turned me on so much that I wanted to send almost anything he asked. Anything meaning, everything but my face and I would cover my tattoos that are all over my body.
That line got crossed too.
I eventually showed him a picture of my mouth stuffed with my thong as punishment. It’s hard to force something over a simple message but I knew I deserved the punishment at the time and wanted to be good for him.
I’ve seen custom gifs on here and luckily someone was kind enough to tell me how to do them on my phone. My new owner loved it very much, and started to demand only video/gifs of me rubbing my pussy, crawling, peeing… gifs don’t have sound but it did the trick.
My owner has had other whores before me. It makes me jealous as a young woman but he’s older than me and knows what to say so I feel better, even if I’m just a worthless whore.
Wanting to be the best, I suggested another app to talk easier and send actual videos. It was another huge step but one I wanted to make for him, because I love seeing his big white cock get hard for me and I love how he dominates and degrades me in return while also being kind and respectful. Trust is a huge part of these types of relationships.
Today was the first time we video messaged, and would’ve done it sooner but I was scared and he understood my hesitancy. My task today was simple, it was to shut up and let him jerk off to my face as I drove (which was hard for me because I was driving but wanted to look at his cock) and I did just that.
I’m not sure how long this will last, and the ball is fully in my court for when it will end. I never thought I would be like this. I don’t want to be and wish I knew what was wrong with me to want this and to be so addicted but I don’t and that’s scarier than anything when I have no reason to be here at all.
I hate myself more and more everyday but I can’t stop. I probably won’t stop anytime soon either.
How does one live with guilt like this?
•
Normally, my owner video calls to watch me pee, dress or undress, and to touch myself so he can cum while at work. Since he’s usually at work when we do video calls, he doesn’t normally talk much and gives me instructions beforehand.
This time was different.
I masturbated over video while he was working, he even took a work call and I was left in the background for his enjoyment, not mine. I was so wet, fucking myself with my vibrating dildo on the floor of my bedroom when he said ‘I’m walking to my car, don’t stop.’
With a ‘yes, sir’ I continued, until the audio changed to his car. As I said above, my owner gives me what I want but also cares for my well being .
‘How does that feel, whore?’
‘Good, sir.’ It was beyond good. I’m sure he could tell by how wet I was, and how wet I sounded. He kept telling me to fuck myseld harder, until my moans were uncontrollable.
‘What are you?’
Saying it in person was a lot different than text. Nervously but also completely entranced, I said ‘a whore.’
‘Is that all?’
It felt hard to think with so little yet so much happening, in my head and my pussy.
‘Your whore.’
I think he called me a ‘good girl’ after, and I said ‘thank you, daddy.’ Good girl is rare, it’s usually good whore.
There’s a sort of system. For him it’s simple because he’s a guy. Sir, and daddy are what I normally call him when playing. I use his name when I need to get my point across and can’t play or for serious conversation.
For me, whore or slut is my usual name and means I’m doing good, plus it just turns me on. Bitch, and cunt (sometimes stupid in front) is for when I’m not listening and I am in play mode. My first name isn’t used much, but he’s happy to know it.
•
My owner was busy today. We had a little time to play in the evening.
I was told to call and sit on my knees and put my hands behind my back. Asking too many questions as usual I said ‘how will I know when to move?’
Little did I know I wasn’t meant to move. He told me that and I called immediately.
I watched him jerk off while I wasn’t able to touch myself, my full naked body on display. Eventually he told me to crawl and then go back into position. Thankfully, I have carpet and hardwood floors, I used the carpet to crawl and got back into position.
My next position was on my knees again but bent over so my shaved pussy and asshole were on display during the video call.
‘Head to the ground.’ At first I didn’t hear or understand, not sure which when I was so hot and bothered. He repeated it for me, a little more rough but clear.
I should’ve hated being in that position, it was a bit uncomfortable but I loved it and stayed that way, without touching myself, till he came and ended the call.
After the call, he messaged that I was a ‘good whore’ and something about me and that I was ‘meant to be this way’ and that I should get used to the position.
•
I had a punishment. One I hated very much but deserved for saying that I should’ve kept something from my master.
Melting ice on my nipples and clit was painful, plus I was already cold. I sent the three minute video and then got permission to drink the melted water, which I already knew from beforehand.
It didn’t really taste different, but there was a slight cloudiness. It was one of the most degrading things I’ve done.
I tell master everything now.
•
This morning I peed for my master in the shower, the water was turned off and he had me face away. It took a second but eventually the stream flowed, hitting the floor and I slowly watched it go to the drain but not all of it.
I sat on my knees when told, in my piss which was degrading but turned me on. I remained silent, waiting for the next thing. My next task came after 30 seconds maybe but I had no idea at first when he would speak and would’ve stayed on my knees for who knows how long.
‘Open your mouth.’
I did as told, watching master jerk off till he came. Again, I wasn’t sure how long I would be holding open my mouth or if there was another task so I stayed on the floor of my shower with my piss and mouth open.
Later on, I wore a tight short skirt and masturbated with my dildo for master. He was in a bathtub, and I could see his feet flexing when I moaned I think. I need to ask to be sure.
Master also told me that I need to straighten my hair from now on. He didn’t like my long hair being curled. I get one week till he will probably start punishing me.
I’m lucky he didn’t punish when I asked, ‘Who are you to tell me what to do with my hair?’
He replied, ‘Your master. The one who fucking owns you, you dumb bitch.’
Let’s just say I was very, very turned on. I said ‘I’ll be better’ which means ‘I’m sorry’ because master was tired of hearing me say the latter.
•
My master has recently incorporated deciding when I can cum. At the beginning of the day, I get 12 hours that I have till I can cum after talking to my master for the day. The 12 hours can be reduced when I’m good, or send surprise pictures and videos.
•
I’ve seen my master’s spouse before when we started talking and role playing but since then I haven’t seen more pictures of her. When I say pictures, I mean just her body. I’m very jealous of her, I know I shouldn’t be because I’m married to an amazing guy that maybe my master would be jealous of if he saw. Maybe he wouldn’t. Our marriages are vastly different. Jealousy is a normal thing for humans. I’m masters ‘property’ and all I am for is to please him, which I love doing. He tells me ‘you don’t need to think, I think for you’ or ‘don’t think, just please me’ something like that. At the end of the day, I will always think and I’m a negative thinker.
I hope he doesn’t read this. By saying that, I’ll be punished but it’s true. We usually don’t talk over the weekend, if he messaged I probably wouldn’t reply, not til Monday because I’m having too many emotions at once.
As I write more, I’m starting to think I should just quit him and everything about this site. It will be hard, he’s become a part of my everyday schedule…
I won’t put part 1 on this like I planned to… there shouldn’t be a part 2. I know better.
Thanks for reading.