It had been a few weeks since my experience on the train. I was back at work and talking with friends, but my life was far from back to normal. I work remotely and sometimes long hours, so my social life suffers. But to tell you the truth, I wouldn’t say I like socializing much, but my girlfriends force me to go out. When I’m out with my friends, I seem to focus on pairs or groups of men, which I feel is strange.
I try to put what I experienced on the train out of my mind, but it’s always there, randomly popping into my thoughts. I look at the note from Martin on my fridge daily but have resisted calling him. It serves as a reminder of that night and what they put me through. His note seems like a trophy given to me for a well-done job. I can’t rationalize the event, which is still shocking. I was angry and wanted the men to pay for what they did to me. I should have been disgusted with myself, but I wasn’t feeling that. I didn’t do anything wrong, but it changed who I was and what I wanted, although what I wanted was still unclear.
One night, feeling lonely, I went to the corner bar for a beer and to get out of my apartment. I was sitting alone at the bar when two men about my age came in, stood beside me, and ordered a beer. After a minute, we started chatting. One beer led to three, and my mind was racing. Thoughts of them both in bed with me kept popping into my head. It was distracting me from the conversation. What was happening to me? I could feel my body reacting, a stirring in my loins, a cold sweat. What was going on with me?
I wanted both of them to fuck me. It was clear to me now. I rejoined the conversation, building up the nerve to invite them back to my apartment. I was about to suggest we go to my place for a nightcap when two girls walked in and greeted them. The men introduced me to their girlfriends, finished their beers, and they all left the bar together. I sat there stunned, embarrassed, and frustrated.
I fled back to my apartment in tears, laying in my bed and sobbing. I undressed and climbed under the covers, my mind racing and my body hungry for attention. I had trouble falling asleep, dropping off momentarily by my thoughts, and kept waking me up. I got up, walked to the kitchen to get a drink of water, and saw the note on the fridge. It seemed to call to me. I grabbed it and went back to bed. I read it repeatedly, my eyes constantly returning to the phone number. I stared at the ceiling for a while, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I really was broken.
I tried to fall asleep, but it wasn’t happening. I turned from side to side, but sleep alluded me. I grabbed the phone and dialed Martin’s number. I heard it ring and ring, then,
“Hello,”
The voice on the other end made me freeze, and I didn’t plan what I would say or what I wanted.
“Hello,” Martin softly said again.
I panicked, hung up, and flopped back on my bed. I thought how pathetic I was and how my life was spiraling out of control. I lay there in the dark, looking at my phone. I could hear myself breathing when the screen on my phone lit up, and my phone began to buzz. Again, panic ran through me when I saw that the number dialing me was Martin’s. I picked up my phone, took a deep breath, pushed the button connecting the call, and whispered,
“Hello,”
“Hello, I received a call from this number a few minutes ago,” Martin said softly.
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Is this Madilyn,” he asked hopefully.
“I closed my eyes and swallowed hard,
“Umm, yes, this is Madilyn,” I answered.
“How are you, Maddie? Are you doing OK?” he asked.
“Umm, I don’t know, yeah, I guess,” I answered, unsure if I was.
“Oh good, I wish I had gotten your number on the train. I would have called you to check up on you,” he said, concerned.
“Yeah, after that night, I didn’t think you’d want to talk to me again,” I responded.
“No, No, Maddie, that’s not true. You were wonderful. I was concerned about you when I couldn’t wake you up the next morning,” he stated.
“Oh yeah,” was all I could say.
I felt cold inside, like my soul had died.
“Well, I woke up on the empty train half-dressed when you guys finished with me,” I said, getting angry.
“Do you remember me taking you to the washroom, cleaning you up, and walking you back to your seat? Or that you said you could get dressed by yourself?” Martin asked calmly.
“No, no, I don’t remember that. Did you do that?” I asked.
“Yes, I did,” Martin answered.
“Oh, well, thank you then,” I surrendered.
“So, how are you getting along, doing anything fun?” Martin asked, trying to lighten the mood.
“No, just working., going out with friends,” I replied.
“Not dating? Or have a boyfriend,” He probed.
“No, no, nothing like that,” I replied.
“I’m surprised. You seem to get along great with the guys,” Martin added.
“I didn’t have much of a choice, did I?” I said sharply.
“Sure you did, Maddie, things just kind of played out naturally,” Martin reasoned.
“I think we remember two different train rides, Martin,” I shot back.
“Are you angry about what happened, Maddie?” he asked, unsure.
“You have to ask, angry, yes, I don’t know, maybe, I’m confused about it, which makes me angry. I spat.
“Would it help if we talked it out,” Martin said sincerely.
“How will that help? Will it make the fact that man after man crawled on top of me and had sex?
“I’m not sure, but you may be able to accept that a young woman used her beautiful body to give pleasure to a group of Marines,” he tried to console me.
“Martin, if that’s what had happened, I would be past it already,” I shot back.
“Did you enjoy the sex, Maddie, be honest?” he asked softly.
“That’s not the point, Martin, whether I did or didn’t enjoy it,” I was getting angry.
“You’re angry at how it unfolded then?” He asked.
“Yes, maybe, you’re confusing me with all these questions. I think about it day and night, and I want,” I caught myself.
“Maddie, do you feel guilty and shameful because good girls don’t do that?” he probed.
There was a long pause, and my mind was racing. All different thoughts ran through my head. I rubbed my forehead, trying to form a thought.
“I’ve never done anything remotely sexual like that before, and you guys got me drunk. I didn’t know any better. Yes, I feel shame and anger.
“I see. So, if you can say it was our fault, you will get a pass on your behavior. OK, it was all our fault,” Martin offered calmly.
“NO, I mean yes, you guys made the bed out of the train seat and took my dress off,” I told him defiantly.
“Yes, we put our duffel bags between the seats, but you were dancing for the guys, and we did it to make room so everyone could dance. And Maddie, you were dancing with your dress around your midsection, showing everyone your charms. I undid your dress because I thought you were doing a striptease,” Martin explained.
“I, I, I don’t remember dancing like that,” I uttered, shocked.
Do you remember dancing naked for the guys, twerking your hips, and letting the guys fondle you?” He continued.
“Wait, what? I danced naked, now way,” I said.
“Do you want to see the video to refresh your memory?
“Oh my God, there’s a video of what happened,” I said, alarmed.
“Don’t worry, Maddie. I made the guys erase all of it, and I have the only a full copy remaining.
“Why did you keep a copy? To sell to some smut website?” I pressed.
“No, I kept it because I think you’re beautiful and angel-like,” He responded.
“Yeah, sure, you just get your jollies watching it, I said, deflecting his compliment.
“Maddie, once you were in bed, you were an active participant in everything that took place,” he explained.
“That’s a lie. I was coerced into having sex,” I screamed.
“No, Maddie, I’ll send you the tape, and you can see it yourself,” Martin offered.
“I don’t want to see that filth, Martin,” I scolded him.
“It’s not filth. It’s beautiful, a young woman exploring her sexual boundaries,” Matin made it seem so normal.
I heard a “ping on my phone alerting me of a text message from Martin. I opened it, and there was an attachment.
“Maddie, I sent you the video. Watch it, and then let’s talk. I’ll call you back in a bit.
I hung up, looking at the attachment and wondering if I should open it. I closed my eyes and hit the download button.
I watched someone I didn’t know drinking, dancing, striping, then letting men fondle her body before fucking and sucking eight men in three sessions for well over three hours. I sucked man after man off and enjoyed it. I watched a wanton slut service men using every hole in her body. I was devastated. I didn’t believe the woman I was watching was me.
Martin was telling the truth, which made it all the more unreal. I thought back to the bar when I planned on inviting two men back to my apartment to fuck both of them. Maybe this was who I am, and perhaps I need to fuck multiple men to get off. My head was spinning, and tears rolled down my cheeks. What would I do now?
I saw the light on my phone, and then it buzzed. It was Martin.
“Hello,” I answered, sobbing.
“Are you alright, Madilyn? Do you want me to come over?” Martin asked softly.
“I’m a complete slut,” I cried.
“Sweety being a slut is not a death sentence. You’re a young woman exploring your sexuality and having fun, and it doesn’t make you a bad person,” Martin explained.
“Good girls don’t do that,” I cried/
“Maddie, good girls don’t have any fun either,” I replied.
“But they don’t let eight guys fuck her all night long,” I wailed.
“Yes, they do, Maddie. Lots of girls fuck multiple partners at once. It’s about having fun, Maddie,” Martin tried to explain.
“You and your friends think I’m a slut. You could tell I was, “I babbled.
“Maddie, we don’t think that at all; we think you’re a beautiful, sexually open young woman,” Martin reassured me.
Through my sniffles, I asked,
“You guys don’t think I’m a slut?”
“Not at all, Maddie. The guys said all day after what a cool chick you were and how they wished more women were like you,” he continued.
“Maddie, can I come over? I know it’s late, but I want to talk to you,” he seemed concerned.
“I don’t know,” I cried.
“Please,” Martin asked again.
“Just you, none of your friends,” I asked wearily.
“No baby, just me tonight,” He told me.
“OK,” I relented.
I told Martin to meet me at the corner bar. I didn’t want him to know where I lived. I ordered a beer and sat at a table in the back. A few minutes later, Martin sat down with a beer and a laptop. He smiled at me and opened his laptop.
“Hello, Madilyn, you look lovely tonight,” Martin gushed.
“Thanks,” I said sarcastically.
“So you realize now that you enjoyed your night on the train with us,” Martin asked.
“It would appear that the alcohol blurred my judgment, but I looked like I was an active participant,” I answered coldly.
“Maddie, let’s watch the video together, and we can each explain what we see,” Martin offered.
“I’m not sure I want to watch it again. That person was not me,” I answered, ashamed of what I would see.
Martin opened his laptop and opened the video. I saw myself and turned away. Martin stopped the video, got up from the table, and walked up to the bar, returning with two shots.
“Trying to get me drunk again so you can take advantage of me,” I asked.
“No. I’m trying to give you a little courage so you’ll watch the video and discuss it with me.
“Fine, play the video, but I don’t need booze for courage,” I said harshly.
The video started. I was playing a drinking game and taking shots when I lost, which seemed all the time. The men were well-behaved, and I could tell I was casually flirting with them. I had my arm around Martin’s neck. I was shocked to see my actions. The men poured me a full glass of something, and I downed it in two gulps, looking like I was about to hurl. I grabbed the shot on the table and knocked it back. Martin had yet to say a word. I watched as we all laughed and joked around with each other.
I was hanging on to Martin a little, but he was quite the gentleman. The men started clapping and cheering.
“Madilyn, this is where the guys cheered you on to dance,” Martin narrated.
A waiter appeared and delivered two more shots. I continued to watch. I walked into the middle of the men and started dancing for them unsteadily. Martin approached me from behind and lifted my hands over my head. I seemed steadier after that and began twerking. I couldn’t believe what I was doing. I grabbed a second shot and downed it. I started spinning around, bumping into the men as I stumbled. They helped keep me up. The men grabbed my skirt, which held me up as I swirled around. I could make out my butt and pussy.
“The men had no idea you weren’t wearing panties, Maddie. I was as shocked as they were. Martin explained.
The waiter came by with another round of shots. Martin hadn’t touched his first one. I looked away for a second when I grabbed my dress from the men, grabbed it tight to my stomach, and lifted it to my chest, exposing myself to all eight men. And I began twerking my hips at the men, looking as if I was having the time of my life. I was getting seriously buzzed again.
“This is where I unbuttoned your dress, Maddie. I thought you were trying to get it off. I’m sorry,” Martin said sincerely.
“It’s OK,” I said softly.
I watched Martin drop my dress, which slid off my shoulders and onto the floor. I lifted my feet so the men could take it off my feet. I drank a shot, looking ashamed. I turned to Martin and grabbed his hands, lifting them over my head before returning to face the men. I began twerking my hips again, the men staring at my naked body. I moved into the center of them dancing, and their hands enveloped me.
I pushed my head out and spread my legs, giving them total access to my body as I did my fuck me dance. I grabbed Martin’s shot and downed it, just in time to see me back up to the bed, the men helping me lay down and spreading my legs. I looked away when I rubbed my pussy and motioned Martin to join me on the bed. Martin stopped the video at this point and took a swig of his beer, and I drank his remaining shot.
“Shall we continue, Madilyn, or have you seen enough?” Martin asked.
“Yes,” I replied softly.
The waiter arrived with two more shots. I took mine immediately while Martin took a swig of his beer, and the video began to play. Martin had his cock in me, and my head arched back in obvious delight as the group of men watched. As we fucked my eyes were on the group of men watching us. I had a wanton look that said I wanted all of them. My feet firmly planted on the two seats, my hips pumped up and down, meeting Martin’s thrusts.
“Did I fuck every man like I’m fucking you?” I asked.
“Yes, Maddie, you were very active with each of us,” he replied.
I watched as I fucked the first four men. It was apparent I was relishing getting used to it like I was.
“You can turn it off. I’ve seen enough,” Martin,” I said sadly.
I drank Martin’s shot. I was good and buzzed at this point.
We sat there quietly for quite a while, sipping on our beers, neither of us talking.
“Do you remember now,” Martin asked.
“Yes, it’s as clear as a bell now,” I said, staring into space.
“Do you know how many orgasms I had that night,” I asked.
I don’t know the number, but you had multiple orgasms in each position you were in,” he explained.
“Even during sodomy,” I inquired.
“Yes, Maddie, multiple, you didn’t want it at first because it would hurt. But after I assured you we would stop if it did, you loved it. Then you got sore and wanted to go back to regular sex,” he explained.
“So every guy fucked me what, three times?” I asked.
“No, most guys went more than three times,” Martin corrected me.
“Haha, that’s great. No wonder I was sore for a week,” I said, shaking my head.
“I’m sure you were, you fucked every guy pretty hard, and you were so tight,” Martin quipped.
“Yeah, I won’t be for long if I keep this up,” I responded.
“Are you going to?” Martin asked, reaching for my hand.
“Going to what?” I asked.
“keep doing it?” he asked again.
“You mean fuck a trainload of men,” I laughed.
‘Yes, Maddie, pull a train for a group of men,” Martin said bluntly.
I stared out into space, thinking my head was spinning. The video was playing over and over in my head. The man’s hands are all over me, and my hips eagerly fucking all comers. I shook my head from side to side.
Oh God, no, maybe, I don’t I’m confused. I can’t get the thought out of my head. It’s there day and night distracting me,” I cried, burying my head in my arms on the table.
“Madilyn, sometimes who we are is revealed to us in strange ways. Sometimes, it scares us, comforts us, and sometimes confuses us. But no matter how we view it, it’s part of us,” Martin explained.
I was ashamed of the fact I enjoyed being fucked by a group of men but also weirdly excited at the thought.
“Maddie, it was a perfect storm that occurred on the train. The stars aligned for you, and a part of you that you never knew existed was revealed, and you’re unsure how to deal with it,”
“So you’re saying this was a part of me and just came to the surface on the train?” I asked, confused.
“Yes, it was the right set of circumstances, and it happened,” Martin explained.
“The thought of being in bed with one man doesn’t appeal to me anymore. I was here earlier and was going to ask two men to come home with me, but their girlfriends showed up. Just doing that sent me into a tailspin,” I revealed my secret.
“So you acted on the new urges you have. That’s good,” Martin encouraged.
“I’ve never tried to pick up a guy before. I was super nervous,” I admitted.
“Was it a good nervous?” He asked.
“I don’t think I enjoyed it, but I felt I needed to do it,” I said.
“I’m not sure how successful you’ll be at it without compromising your safety,” Martin warned.
“Yeah, true, I didn’t think of that part, fuck,” I moaned.
The waiter brought us a round of beers and shots. I downed my shot and took a big swig of beer to wash it down. We sat silently; my mind was racing, and I wondered about this inner me I had never known existed.
“Madilyn, this is a new experience for you. You’ll have to experiment with it to find out where it leads you,” Martin reasoned.
“You think? I’m not sure about doing it again. A part of my brain keeps screaming at me, “NO.” besides, where can I find guys I know are safe and won’t hurt me?” I lamented.
“I work on a Marine base with thirty-five hundred men. I’ll help you if you want,” Martin offered.
I thought about it, which made perfect sense, but I still wasn’t sure I wanted to do it again.
“So you want to pimp me out to the men on the base?” I said, laughing.
“Well, in a sense, you’d want different men to keep it exciting every time, right?” he responded.
“I don’t know. Would that be best?” I asked.
“Well, you’ll have to figure that out, but I would think so,” Martin alerted me.
“Yeah, I don’t know, maybe I’ll just try to pick up two or three guys in the bar to see how it goes,” I said, wavering a bit.
“OK, no problem, Maddie, it’s your experience,” Martin said.
We sat there for a while, not speaking, as my head spun, thinking about the train and doing it again.
“Fuck, alright, I’ll do it again,” I blurted out, shocking myself.
“OK, how many men for the next time?” He asked calmly.
“Oh my God, really? I don’t know, can’t you decide? I mean, you want to be my pimp?” I said, shocked.
Alright, and you’ll fuck all of them no matter how many are there?” Martin pressed.
“Christ, really, I don’t know, but you have to be there, and if I say stop at some point, it has to stop,” I demanded.
“Very well, but you have to get all of them off one way or another,” He said, laughing.
I was strangely getting anxious about the prospect of doing it again.
“OK, how many and when?” I asked Martin cautiously.
.
“This Saturday night, and twelve men,” Martin answered in a firm voice.
“Twelve,” I shouted, covering my mouth afterward.
“Yes, it will be a good gauge to see how many you can handle,” He re-affirmed.
” You’re the pimp, but you’ll be there right for the whole thing?” I pressed.
“Yes, I won’t leave the room,” he assured me.
Martin opened his phone, looking very serious, while I drank his shot and beer. He smiled at his phone and then put it down.
“What were you doing on your phone?” I inquired.
“Well, I booked a suite at the Ambassador Hotel for Saturday night and posted on the Officer’s private blog looking for volunteers. I was looking for twelve strong men to help a young woman with a sexual fantasy,” he said calmly.
“I can’t afford The Ambassador and a suite. Can we use the Motel Six down the street?” I moaned.
“You’re not paying for it; the men will, and a suite will give everyone room to be comfortable,”
“Are you going to charge the men money to fuck me, like they would for a whore?” I asked.
“Hmm, I haven’t thought about that. Maybe, would you would like me to?” He responded.
I shrugged my should, saying I didn’t know, but inside I felt strangely excited to have to put out because the men paid for my pussy. Martin’s phone had pinged a lot while we talked. He looked at it.
“Wow, you’re a popular girl. I have eight responses already. They all want to know what you look like. Can you send me a picture of yourself?” He asked.
“Sure, ” I answered.
“Do you want me naked?” I asked, unknowingly.
Martin looked at me, squinting his eyes.
“Yes, naked body shot front and back. You can cut out your face so no one will ever recognize you. Take a picture of your cunt too. I’ll post them to my blog entry,” he ordered.
“OK, as soon as I get home,” I said.
“There’s nobody in the bar but us. Go do it in the bathroom,” he ordered.
“Here,” I shouted.
“Yes, go ahead, it will be fine,” he said.
I grabbed my phone and went to the women’s washroom. Fortunately, it was a one-person toilet, so I could lock the door. Standing in front of the mirror, I took off my dress and took the shots Martin had requested of me. I sent them to his phone. When I returned, Martin was talking to the manager about renting out the bar for the evening for a bachelor party. He asked if they allowed a dancer to come in for the party. The manager looked me up and down and assured him the boys could have all the fun they wanted back in the pool room. Martin gave him his credit card to charge for our drinks and to make a deposit for the party.
“I posted your photos on my blog. I already have twenty-one men interested,” Martin boasted.
“Wow, really?” I asked, surprised.
“OK, I have to get home, Maddie. I have to work early in the morning.” Martin said.
“OK, I’m going to finish my beer. We’ll talk tomorrow,?” I asked, hopeful.
Martin stood up and kissed my forehead,
“Yes, sweetie, we’ll chat more tomorrow,” Martin said before he walked out the door.
I looked around at the empty bar and thought about Saturday night. I finished my drink and stumbled home half-drunk. I wondered how Saturday night would play out.