He was tall, dark and excruciatingly beautiful. I was jealous from the moment I saw him. Even though I had quite a way with “the ladies”, the lady I wanted was surely going to fall for this new guy. His face was not “handsome” in the way that models are handsome. Male models all look the same: small, blue eyes, light brown hair, extremely muscular, too much facial hair. This guy was like that in no way. He was tall – I’d say about 6”2 – and slim, though power seemed to radiate from him. His face seemed hollow and gaunt. He wasn’t good-looking in a traditional way, but something about him was so special, you had to look. And she was, too – the prettiest girl in my year – she was looking right at him. Jealousy coloured my features. It took some time before I realized she didn’t look fascinated or anything like it. She looked scared, worried. Of course, this was exactly what I felt for this dark creature that had suddenly walked through the doorway into our lives, but up until this moment I thought I feared him because he was going to take the girl I wanted. Now I realized almost everyone in the class looked at him with anxiety. He glowered at us in a scary way. Now he lifted his head just a touch and said in a throaty voice: “Hello”. Some students murmured something unintelligible. Without first betraying any sign he was about to move, he started off towards an empty seat in the back of the class, making a few fellow students jump from surprise. He sat up very straight and looked only at the blackboard, seeming oblivious to the rude staring of everyone else. The teacher, who was also caught off-guard by everything about the situation, needed a few seconds to reassemble his thoughts before awkwardly introducing this new student as Mr. Elliot Finn, who would be joining our classes from now on. Elliot’s eyes flashed about the classroom when his name was mentioned, by means of acknowledgement. Everyone seemed to settle down by this act that resembled normal human behavior. The class continued.
As we divided up into fours for some project, Elliot stayed alone. My group, consisting of Audra (the girl I liked), my best friend George and myself, still was one man short. Audra, who was kind-hearted and immediately felt guilty, waved him over. He had been looking our way, not in the insecure, skittish way you would expect a newcomer to be, but with the confident look of someone who already knows what’s going to happen and is just waiting politely for the sign to be given. He was giving us the opportunity to think we had had a choice in allowing him near us. He sat down in between Audra and George. “Okay, so, uhm”, Audra started, but she was interrupted. “We each do one part of the assignment. Then we send it to each other. We check each other’s work and pick out any mistakes. Then we put it together. I will do part A, which is the hardest”. This was all said very matter-of-factly. I was the only one who seemed not to immediately accept this. Just for the hell opposing him, I said: “No, I will do part A. You’re new, you haven’t had this subject yet. You do part C, you don’t need any pre-knowledge for that”. Audra looked shocked at my rudeness, but I didn’t care. Elliot leaned back slightly. A mocking smile played with his lips. My own features hardened. Elliot, in a bored tone, said: “I took this subject as an extra a couple of years ago. I aced it. I’ll do A”. Audra threw me a pleading look, which said: “please don’t pick a fight”. I didn’t.
Elliot was obviously amused. I threw him some dirty looks, he smiled back. As we walked out of the building, he suddenly pulled me out of view behind an ugly piece of art. He grabbed the front of my jacket and pushed me to the wall. For someone who looked rather skinny, he was surprisingly strong. I’d always thought I was powerful, but he didn’t even notice my attempt to free myself. Deciding it was probably cooler to pretend I wasn’t scared, I stopped my feeble struggling and looked up at him. He was studying my face closely, inching his way across my face with his eyes. My bewilderedness must have been obvious, because his lips curled up in an amused smile. I braced myself for either one of the two possibilities: a beating, or a threat. I set my jaw and looked him straight in the face. He noticed, his smile faded and he slightly squinted his eyes. Mine started burning. I blinked, and again, and then another time, keeping my eyes fixed on his. Then I looked down. He laughed softly and turned his eyes to the sky. The way his breath stroked my face, it felt like he had hit me. I pulled away – I had prepared to have to tug myself loose with brute force, but he let go of me easily. I felt like a coward as I half-ran away. What on earth did he want from me? Did he just want to punish me for not “obeying” him earlier? I looked over my shoulder. He had walked away in the opposite direction. It wasn’t until I had slowed my pace that I noticed I had an erection. Sure, why not, this day hadn’t had enough embarrassing things happening in it. I pulled my jacket just a touch further down and ran for the bus, which I missed. It started to rain.
Walking home did give me a good opportunity to think about what had happened, though I didn’t get very far. Why was this happening now? I had never been bullied my entire life, and now, at age 20, this? I didn’t understand why it had happened, either – I was a strong guy, but even my best effort to pull myself loose had been completely futile. Maybe I had just been thrown off. But I didn’t look forward to tomorrow.
The next day proved to be as strange as I had imagined. We didn’t have any work to do on the project today, so we didn’t have to invite Elliot to sit with us again. I noticed Audra was completely caught up in him, constantly on the watch with an anxious look on her face. He just sat in the back of the class again, casually leaning back while everyone else was writing like crazy to keep up with what was on the blackboard. I tried a couple of times to get her attention, but she was too distracted. When I looked around, I saw the mocking smile taunting me from across the classroom. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself from punching something.
During the break, Audra rushed towards Elliot. I nonchalantly walked after her, just in case. “Hey Elliot”, she said in a high-pitched tone. “Hello”, he replied. It was obvious he was trying to keep his facial expression as neutral as possible. The corners of his mouth twichted. I let a low rumble escape me. He looked up at me as if he only now noticed I was there.
It happened so fast I hardly remembered afterwards. First, he threw me a look as if he was challenging me. Then he turned his eyes to Audra again. He seemed to focus on something. His lips went white. Audra fainted. She fell right to the ground. He caught her just before her head hit the floor. He laid her down easily and walked away, without even looking back. It took about five seconds before I could move again. I fell to my knees and started shaking Audra. She was out cold, but nothing appeared to be wrong. I lifted her up in my arms and put her on one of the benches. George, who had been looking from a distance, asked what had happened, but I didn’t know what to tell him. After all, he had seen the same thing I had. After five minutes she regained consciousness.
“Mm… What happened?”
“Why don’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know… One minute I was saying hi to Elliot, and then… “
“You just fainted. I guess you didn’t sleep well?”. Oh, how I hoped that that was the case instead of his guy making girls faint without even having to blink.
“No, I did, he did it. Elliot, he just… I dunno… He looked at me, and then, his eyes went all… evil for a second and then everything just slided away. Did he… hit me?”
“No, he didn’t do anything to you. You just didn’t eat enough. Or maybe you’re ill. You should go home”.
She did. I took her home – George offered to, but I threw him a look that said everything he needed to know, so he backed off. She seemed fine, but I still insisted on her going home and getting some rest. Her mother was home, and regrettably there was no need for me to stay any longer, so I went home myself. There was no use in going back to school anyway. As the building where my apartment was came into view, I immediately noticed Elliot standing outside it. I wondered if I might go someplace else until he left, but that thought made me feel like such a weakling that I decided to just go up to him. He was already walking towards me when I got the courage together to look up. From a distance, I yelled: “What the hell is wrong with you?”. He kept walking until he was right in front of me.
“What the fuck did you do to Audra!?”. Nothing.
“ANSWER ME!”
“I didn’t do anything to her”. His voice was hoarse – a shiver went down my back.
“Don’t lie to me, okay? I want to know why you are so intent on… on… what is it, scaring the living crap out of all of us?”
He looked surprised.
“Just stay away from us, okay?”, I said exasperated.
“No, I will not”. He inched closer to me. My head started spinning all of a sudden. A harsh grin flashed on his face.
“What… the hell… are you doing…”, I gasped. I had never fainted in my entire life, but now I felt I was very close.
“Come with me”, he said, averting his eyes. The dizziness immediately disappeared. I couldn’t not follow him. I was too scared and too curious not to. We reached the edge of the nearby forest. I stopped walking, but he turned around and looked at me with the look that said: “You scared?”. I didn’t know what else to do but to just walk after him. We walked a couple of minutes. No one ever came here. If he decided to kill me, it was very likely that no one would ever find out. The thought didn’t even scare me. He stopped dead and turned to look at me. Some minor sunlight bounced off his pitch-black hair. For the first time since I had met him, he seemed relaxed. His gorgeous features, which were usually so mean, now seemed soft. He closed his eyes and raised his face to the sunlight.
“Why are we here?”
“You won’t ever know”. His voice made me arch my back. He moved really close. I could feel his breath touch my skin.
“No, I want to know”.
“I think you’d be happier if you didn’t. Don’t worry – you won’t even remember.”
My thoughts grew senseless as everything around me slowly started turning. This time, I was prepared. I fought back some of the dizziness and said: “Why?”
“Because I’m not used to being opposed”. I felt his lips brush my cheek. His scent overwhelmed me. My heart pounded, my arms hung limp beside my body. I realized I didn’t even want to stop this from happening, whatever was happening. I just wanted to be conscious.
He put his hand behind my head and crushed his lips against mine rather violently. It hurt, in a very, very good way. I felt I was about to lose consciousness again – he was getting the better of me. My knees buckled, I fell to the ground. The pressure he was exerting on my mind didn’t increase, though – he let up just enough for me to remain awake, but not enough to get up or even lift my head. I felt him undressing me surprisingly quickly. He laid me on my back and started giving me a blowjob. At this point, I didn’t have the energy to be surprised. There was too much going on; my lower body was burning with the sensation of what he was doing to me with his mouth, my head was severely spinning with the dizziness he was causing with his mind, and my whole body felt numb, yet more sensitive than ever. I heard myself moaning, but wasn’t aware of doing it. What he was doing was… indescribable. His mouth was hot, moving up and down languidly. My moaning grew louder. He sped up a bit and I thought I would explode. The feeling was intense, it bordered on painful, and when I finally came, it was excruciatingly good. I panted heavily. He fixated his eyes on mine, and this time I couldn’t resist. The ground sunk away, and I let my thoughts slip away from me.