There are many times in life when a person must exit their comfort zone and enter an area of psychological jungle. This area can vary for different people. For example, one common thing that can seem daunting to a lot of people is having to get up in a public place and make an announcement/ monologue/ judgement. It is true, many people find public speaking a daunting thing. I’m one of those people, however, who love it. As long as I’m not myself. You see, the most important thing about me is that I’m a drama student. Now, there are two very obvious pros and cons with being a drama student: the pro is that you are doing something you love greatly full time and at the same time trying to find yourself an agent and, yes, it’s all very exciting. The con, however, is that most people react negatively when you introduce yourself as a drama student. Certainly, there are many who get all excited and make a scene and you have to calmly explain to them that, no, you have never met Gary Oldman and in fact you haven’t actually starred in any proffessional work to date, but hey, one day… Of course this often completely bursts their bubble and they walk away angry and frustrated at ‘this amatuer’ having wasted their time. Yes, there are those people. However I often find that most people fit into one of two catagories: 1) the ones that look at you as if to say ‘I see, couldn’t be bothered doing any real work, could you’ and 2) those who look at you as if to say ‘you, sir, are a pretentious twat.’ I find most fall into the latter catagory when I say it. Anyhow, I certainly am rambling. But what I want to get across is the point that I am very much a stereotypical actor in the sense that I find myself to be such an exceedingly boring person that I only feel really confident when portraying someone else. I can never understand why people have this obsessive fascination with actors as celebrities, I mean honestly, to put it plainly, most of them are boring, prancing shits. I know I certainly am, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Yes, me, good old me. Let us get this boring bit over quickly. I’m tall height, tanned, short brown hair, medium build and green eyes. I wouldn’t exactly say I’m Jude Law, but then I wouldn’t exactly say I’m a stray mongrel with a face disfigurement. I’m sort of neutral. But I’m a good dresser, I’ll give myself that. So, now that that’s over, back to the original plot. As I was saying, many people occasionly have to do things that go out of their comfort zones (apart from back bench politicians who just sit there silently wanking). And I, being a person, found myself in a situation in which I felt lost in a psychological jungle. It was on a holiday in Cornwall. You see, having lived my whole life in Manchester and then attended drama school in London, I always feel like a proper townie. And every summer, I yearn to get out and visit other, exciting places. So, I get myself on t’internet and get straight on to Ryan Air (don’t judge me). But even the company with the plastic planes and antique air-hostesses can never offer me a fortnight stay in California (the place to be, or so I’m told) within my budget. So I let out a sigh, go to bed and spend the rest of my holidays watching old Laurence Olivier films and eating Pringles. But this particular year, I decided it was time to change my ways and for once have a proper holiday. You know, the kind of holiday that has the complete package: sun, sea and sex. But California can shove itself, I thought, I want a place where I can enjoy all three of these things and still get a good portion of fish and chips now and then (and I mean the proper ones from chippies, not the shit ones you get abroad. So I asked a few of the chaps down in London if they knew of any good locations, and 99% of them said Cornwall (the other 1% said Brighton, and I replied ‘fuck off’). So I thought, why not? I’ve heard a lot about it, and with any luck it’ll live up to it’s hype (although I doubt it, most things don’t. Like Twilight, what a tragic waste of a cinema fee that was). I’ll cut out all the boring bits like clothes shopping, packing, saying goodbye to girlfriend (she gave me a night to remember). I’ll just cut straight to the bit where I’m chugging along the motorway in an old VW Campervan (don’t ask me how I got it, I don’t know. Meth is a hell of a drug). Anyway, there I was going along my merry way, feeling like the real surfer dude I knew I wasn’t. There’s athe same time massaging my balls between her hand. She moved off my dick and I looked at her. She smiled, showing me the jizz in her mouth, before swallowing it all. I smiled back and lay back down, drifting softly into a deep, pleasant sleeplways something I’ve loved about driving on long car journeys alone. When you’re with someone else they’re a fucking nightmare, but when you’re on your own there’s a great amount of tranquility in the air. I was listening to Frank Sinatra, then Coldplay, and then a cheeky bit of jazz that I occasionly listen to when I’m on my own. So there I was in my own peaceful head, thinking over the last production I had starred in and going over where I could improve, when suddenly my eyes clamped shut and my head dropped on the wheel. The moment it happened, I sat up again with a start. Fuck, that was terrifying. Not so much the thought that I could have crashed, but more the knowledge that I had not felt at all sleepy before that happened. I really should pull over and carry on In the morning. But stop where? I mean, I wasn’t about to spend the night in a lay by, god knows what kind of yeti could come along and rape me in the night. So I pulled of the road and continued down a little lane, hoping it would be going somewhere. My doubts grew as it continued on and on, the number of roadlights becoming fewer and fewer. And then suddenly, wham. I found myself driving through a little village. It was how I would describe a true picturesque English chocolate box village. Brilliant, I thought, there must be something here. I pulled into a parking space and climbed out. The chilling night air ran through my bones, so I opened the backseat to get my new coat (Jack Wills, so…). Time to explore this town, I thought. I began walking through the village. A lot of it was mainly houses, to be honest. A few closed shops, they couldn’t help me. And then I noticed a chink of light coming from round one of the corners. I hastily walked up it, experiencing that mixed feeling of tiredness and cold that creates a horrific combination. As I got nearer to the light, I revealed it was there for the purpose of lighting up a sign. I read the sign, squinting in the dark. ALL NIGHT BED AND BREAKFAST, it read.
‘Oh, you beauty!’ I cried aloud, before making my way over to the house the sign was advertising. It was a small detatched (coming from a working class background, I consider that term something of an oxymoron) but it looked pleasant and homely. I knocked thrice on the door and waited paitently.
‘Are you here for a room?’ came a muffled voice from within the house.
‘Yes’ I replied, trying to add a hint of urgency to my voice.
‘Well there’s nothing left,’ came the reply ‘sorry.’
Fuck off, you’re not getting rid of me that easily.
‘Oh, come on, you must have something?’ I pleaded.
‘Not a single room. There’s a coach party from London who booked them all in advance.’ I sighed, leaning my head against the door.
‘What’s your name?’ I asked.
‘Pardon?’
‘What’s your name?’
‘Ermm, Darcy’ ‘Ah, that’s lovely name. Now, Darcy, listen. I’ve been driving all night, I’m absolutely shattered. I’ll pay anything, I’ll do anything, but can I please just sleep somewhere in this house?’
There was a pause, then a sigh.
‘Right, come in and I’ll see what I can do.’
Just as she finished speaking, the door opened. I quickly jumped in before she had chance to change her mind, and then looked up to see this mysterious Darcy. I can only think of one word to describe the woman stood Infront of me: MILF. She had long flowing brown hair, long, tanned legs and red lips that made her look like she was constantly pouting. And then I noticed the two huge tits that were half revealed beneath her low top she was wearing. Fucking hell, my cock was certainly stood to attention. After a few minutes, I realised I was just stood staring at her, and so snapped myself out of my trance and looked up at her face. She had a sort of raised eyebrow half smile expression, and I could tell she knew I had been mentally undressing her.
‘Sorry’ I stammered.
She smirked before saying: ‘I’ll let you sleep on the sofa if you do a favour for me’.
‘Ermm, okay. What favour?’
‘Our fridge has been playing up and I think it’s something to do with the wires. You’re not any good with electrics are you?’
Well, as luck would have it, I had an A* in GCSE Electronics.’Yeah’ I said ‘I’ll take a look at it’ The job didn’t take long at all (actually turned out there was a switch at the back of the fridge that wasn’t turned on). Darcy inspected the fridge and thanked me; she looked in my eyes and touched my arm as she did so. I told her it was no problem at all and then hinted at that sofa she had mentioned. ‘Oh yes, of course! Follow me.’ I followed her up a flight of stairs to a room that was locked. The house had a sense of tradition and past times about it that gave it a certain ‘je ne ses quoi’. Iwaited patiently while Darcy fumbled for a key in her pocket and unlocked the door. She opened it and gestured for me to go in first. The room was delightfully modern, which certainly juxtaposed it with the rest of the house. It reminded me of Audrey Hepburn’s flat in Breakfast At Tiffany’s, and also somewhat of my flat in London. Darcy came in behind me and closed the door. ‘Yes, you can sleep on this.’ She pointed to a red leather sofa in the corner of the room. ‘You’re welcome to help yourself to any food in the fridge during the night.’ It was here I noticed that there was an adjoining kitchen through a doorway infront of me. I laughed. ‘It looks like you’ve given me the five star room, here’ I laughed. She paused for a moment in confusion. ‘Oh no, this isn’t a paying room, it’s where I live’ Ah, that made sense. ‘Oh I see!’ She chuckled. ‘Yeah look my bedroom’s through here.’ She led the way through another door and I found myself stood in an enormous bedroom, complete with a king size bed and everything. ‘This is nice,’ I murmured, totally unsure of what to say. ‘Here, you can have this’ she said and turned around to open a drawer, giving me a perfect view of one of the best arses I’ve ever seen. Her low riding skirt hitched up as she bent over and I saw she was wearing thin, white, lacy knickers that perfectly outlined her pussy, making my dick scream in my boxers. She certainly was lingering in that drawer, I thought to myself but I certainly wasn’t complaining. Eventually she stood up and handed me a duvet and pillow. ‘Here y’are,’ she said ‘go and make your bed up on the sofa and I’ll get us a drink.’ About half and hour later I found myself sat on the sofa with a tall glass of wine. Darcy was sat facing me, and I think we were talking about her ex-husband but I couldn’t have been sure; she kept throwing in little innuendos here and there that just kept throwing me out of the park. I was aware that my eyes kept trailing down to the gorgeous tits jutting out infront of me. ‘What about you then, you have a girlfriend?’ she suddenly asked. ‘Ermm, sorry what?’ I asked, sitting up. ‘A girlfriend, do you have one?’ she repeated. ‘Ermm…’ Fuck, I don’t know, I thought. ‘Well, sort of, yeah’ ‘Sort of?’ she asked. ‘Well, I have a girlfriend in London, but things are complicated.’ ‘Ah, are you from London?’ ‘No, Manchester originally.’ Oh yes, Northern Soul and proud. ‘Ah, you’re a northern boy?’ she had a twinkle In her eye. ‘Very good with their hands, northern boys are.’ There we go, another subtle innuendo just dropped in their. She was driving me mad! I laughed nervously. ‘Well, I should probably get some sleep, I’ve got to carry on driving tomorrow’ She took my drink off me and placed them on the floor. ‘You know, I can’t help thinking you’ll be very uncomfortable on that sofa.’ ‘Oh, it’s no problem.’ I’m from Manchester, I thought, I’m used to sleeping on a fucking gravel pit. She paused. ‘No, I won’t let you.’
Oh god she wasn’t about to kick me out now, was she? Not after I fixed her fridge. ‘Oh please. I won’t be any bother…’ She smiled and put her finger to my lips, silencing me. She slowly started to move closer into me. ‘I was going to say,’ she said in a whisper ‘you should sleep somewhere else. My bed, perhaps?’ I paused, staring at her, wondering if she’d actually just invited me to spend the night in her bed. I swallowed nervously. ‘What?’ She didn’t answer, but instead leaned in for a kiss. It was soft at first, but after a while she slipped her tongue into my mouth and started playing with mine. It must have lasted forever, but it felt like no time at all. When she eventually stopped, she smiled at me and took my hand in her own. She winked at me and slowly led me into her bedroom. She pushed me on the bed in one action and then started kissing me again. It was faster this time, more passionate. After several minutes she started kissing down my body, and I pulled my shirt off over my head. She kissed down my chest and slowly down to my jeans. She was on all fours with her face just inches away from my raging hard-on. She slowly took off my belt and slid my chinos off. She grabbed my dick through my boxers and started kissing it, with her eyes closed. I put my hand on her head and ran my fingers through her hair, all the while my breathing was steadily increasing. She grabbed onto the strap of my boxers and slid them off, my dick sprang up and hit her face. She looked up at me and kept eye contact with me all the time as she slowly ran her tongue up the underside of my penis. She was teasing me; gently flicking the tip with her tongue. After what seemed like an age she finally slipped my dick into her mouth and started bobbing her head up and down on It. The incredible warm, moist feeling of the inside of her mouth sliding up my shaft along with her beautiful deep green eyes staring into mine was sending me crazy. Each time she went down she seemed to fit a little bit of my cock down her throat. I knew that if she kept at it I’d be coming in no time, so I gently lifted her head up off my dick and kissed her passionately. We both stood up and started running our hands all over each other. I started to move my hand near her arse, a little worried of her reaction, before she grabbed it and placed it there for me. The pushed me onto the bed and straddled me, continuing to kiss me. I sat up and started to lift her top over head, which she helped me with. I grabbed her tits and massaged them in my hand; they were full and huge, the biggest I’d ever touched. I tentatively leaned in and started kissing them, licking the areola slowly and then softly sucking on them. I must have been doing it right, because she was leaning her head back and sighing with pleasure. I continued to run my hand through her long soft hair as I was working on her breasts. Her breathing was getting heavier and heavier until eventually she pulled me off her and said ‘I want you inside me, now.’ That was all the persuasion I needed. I moved off her chest and lay back on the bed, my head on the pillow. She slowly reached down and guiding my cock to the entrance of her soaking wet pussy. ‘What about…’ I started to ask. ‘I’m on the pill’ she replied, and with that, she dropped down hard onto my dick. We both moaned simultaneously as her tight pussy stretched to fit my cock, before she started grinding on me, and eventually lifting up and thrusting herself on me. The pleasure was unimaginable: Darcy was thrashing around now with her mouth open and her eyes clamped shut. I sat up as she was fucking me and started kissing her neck, which must have turned her on more as she was now making loud moaning sounds and repeatedly screaming my name. If there were any visitors in that B&B tonight, they weren’t getting any sleep. After a few minutes of continuous, heavenly fucking, I felt my balls start to tighten. ‘I’m gonna cum!’ I moaned. ‘Meee toooooo…’ she screamed as an earth-shattering climax overtook the both of us. Her pussy was clamping down hard on my cock which was shooting string after string of thick spunk deep inside of her. As we both started to come back down from our orgasms, we leaned against each other, breathing heavily. After a minute she pushed me back onto the bed and climbed off me. I felt her moving down my body, and then I felt her moist mouth around my limp dick. She started sucking all the excess cum off it and at the same time massaging my balls between her hand. She moved off my dick and I looked at her. She smiled, showing me the jizz in her mouth, before swallowing it all. I smiled back and lay back down, drifting softly into a deep, pleasant sleep.