I didn’t know why I felt this way.
But when I try to hit on a girl, I freak out. My stomach tenses up into knots and my throat goes dry and raspy. Every time, without fail, when I see a girl I find attractive, it happens.
I’m 18 and I wouldn’t say I’m particularly ugly. I’m not a model or anything, but I get plenty of looks from girls around campus. I play a lot of sports and hope to jump into uni on a football scholarship.
But that damn vee card… I know it’s not a big deal, most guys are still virgins at my age. Well, if you consider 12% of guys. I read that somewhere.
The problem was, all my mates are testosterone filled males. Every one of them are in their prime, shagging girls left, right and center. I love the game, but sometimes the teasing can be infuriating.
I was about to leave college, after the last class of the day finished.
I rounded the corner and bumped into a lock of long, blonde hair.
Sophie Turner, one of the girls in my class. She was insanely cute and had one of the best rated rears in college. I had a crush on her for years, just admiring her from afar in classes we went to together.
“Hey Leo, how are you?”
“H-hi…” I stuttered.
The thing with my nerves, its like a self fulfilling prophecy. I get nervous, it makes my speech go all weird and then that makes me more nervous and then I end up in cold sweat or something.
“I just wanted to say that I watched you play on the field, I think you’re really talented. My family are big into footie.”
God, she smells nice, and her eyes were big and round and this is the bit I’m supposed to ask her for her number…
“T-thanks, I guess.”
That familiar churning in the pit of my stomach revved up like a sputtering engine.
“Say, do you fancy doing something sometime? Like grab something to eat or…”
Yeah, that’d be nice. Lots of talking, one on one interacts and me thinking about what I’m supposed to say next and then what? She’s gonna find out what a weirdo I am and go tell everyone and I’m going to get a reputation.
“I need to make sure the oven isn’t left on.”
Yeah, my brain goes stupid too.
“Oh, well, anytime I guess,” she said, her face a mask of confusion. She walked off and I knew I made an ass of myself. Note to self, rush out after class, do not let myself get ambushed.
I drove home in my beat up Vauxhall Corsa, blaring out some random dance compilation cds to drown out the anxiety bubbling in my gut. The car was a bit ugly, but it was a solid motor. If I ended up in a university away from home, I need to make sure the damn thing still runs.
I stuck the car onto the driveway and when I entered the house, it was quiet. The clock on the wall said a few minutes after 6pm. So Mum and Dad aren’t back yet and I can’t tell with Emma.
Emma was a few years older than me but unlike me, she got her shit together. She studies at a local university and as a result, stays at home to save on accommodations. Her lectures are sporadic and you never know when she’s home or not. She studies medicine so she’s a bit of a golden child as far as Mum and Dad were concerned. Not that I had problems in that regard, but while Ems was making the best use of her time, I was still kicking a football around and waiting for the next FIFA game to come out for my Xbox.
I headed upstairs for a shower. To make my day extra special, the heavens opened up and I was drenched on my way to the car.
I peeled off my wet rags and bundled them up, about to stick them in the laundry bin, until something caught my eye.
It was a dark red, lacey ball of fabric.
I gulped.
I picked them up and unfurled it. It was a pair of Emma’s knickers… I knew it was hers because it was bundled together in a pair of her jeans. Mum didn’t wear jeans.
I’m not a pervert, serious. But something triggered inside me right then.
Emma was the only girl that didn’t make me nervous. Okay, she is my sister but she was beautiful too. I’m a guy, you can’t help but appreciate a fine female body. She got a juicy curvy ass, gorgeous face with ever so slightly plump lips. Lips that promised to do wicked things if you let them. She got big boobs too, at least more than and handful. The lads liked to give me shit about how I got a hot sister and keep asking me to help them hook up with her.
As if I was going to whore my own sister out like that.
But still… She was hot. In a refined and almost geeky way.
I licked my lips as I looked at the fabric in my hands. The gusset just had her dried on juices. I didn’t know what came over me. I mean, I wasn’t hurting anyone…
My hands shook, the thrill of doing something I wasn’t supposed to made my heart pound hard.
I put the thin material against my nose and inhaled.
Fucking hell.
A thick pungent aroma flooded my nose. It was a sweet feminine scent with just the slightest hint of sourness to it. Did the smell disgust me? Not at all.
In my nakedness, my cock lurched to life.
“Fuck,” I growled.
I just wanted to know what a girl smelled like…
I should put it down and go for a fucking shower.
My other hand gripped my cock, it was awkward because I usually use my right hand, but I didn’t want to let go of the panties…
I jerked off furiously. Not even porn made me this aroused.
“Emma,” I whispered to nobody. It felt like a dirty little secret, which only made it hotter.
I pounded hard, the urge to cum overwhelming me.
“Fucking hell Ems…”
I inhaled more, intoxicating myself with my own sister’s scent.
My cock swelled in my hand, and I had a second before the inevitable would happen.
I didn’t know why I did what I did. I pulled the panties down to my dick and with a growl, I ejaculated. I shot load after load of my pent up cum into Emma’s panties. A strange primative part of me aimed for the gusset, wanting my cum to coat over her stains. A dark thrill crawled up my spine as I indulged in a sick fantasy- picturing Emma walking around casually, oblivious and wearing her panties soaked with my semen. God, why did that sound so hot?
And then, something caught the corner of my eye.
I looked to the side, and there was Emma watching me.
Watching my dick emptying itself into her panties…
She turned and left.
Fuck.
***
Fuck. Shit. Bollocks.
I considered going after my sister. But what would I say? Sorry for jerking off into your pants?
Sorry for being a perverted little shit?
Oh god.
I spent a few agonising hours in my bedroom. I felt safe and maybe I could stay in there forever. Or maybe I should plan on where to go when Dad kicks me out later. I got like £50 in savings.
Fuck.
My anxiety shot through the roof when I saw my parent’s car pull onto the drive.
Mum was going to make dinner and it wouldn’t be long before she’s going to tell me to come downstairs.
I had a wash earlier, but it didn’t calm me down any.
I went downstairs, passing by Emma’s room on the way and the door looked more locked than it ever was before. What will she say to our parents? Maybe I should take the initiative, tell them myself that I accidentally jerked off into Emma’s panties.
Yeah right.
Mum was busy humming away at an 80s pop song in her head and Dad was already in front of the TV catching up on his shows.
I smell pasta sauce so it was going to be a quick meal. Emma would be down in like 20 minutes.
I said hi to them and joined dad in the living room, my heart banging against my ribcage a million miles an hour.
Then a few minutes later, I sensed Emma coming downstairs. Sensed, because she was light on her feet.
Mum made some commotion, the usual ‘how was your day’ and Emma’s usual response.
Mum called for me and Dad to join them around the dining room table and that felt like the longest walk ever. I kinda felt like I was on death row or something.
I sat down, and Emma didn’t make eye contact with me. In fact, she sat furtherest away from me.
Mum asked me what I did in college and all that. And I waited for Emma to spill the beans on me.
It never came.
Dad discussed about tomorrow, the big saturday date that they did once a month- Mum and Dad disappear all day, a day just for them. Can’t blame them, it was one of the tricks to keeping their relationship healthy as far as Dad was concerned. I hope I live long enough to experience that myself one day. We all convened in the living room and Emma sat on the other side of the sofa with Mum between us. Dad took the armchair.
We watched a few programmes, and I wondered if Emma felt the awkwardness hanging in the air. For some stupid reason, my head wandered to other thoughts other than imminent doom. I loved the way the glasses framed her face. Ems kinda looked like a much sexier version of Velma from Scooby-doo, but with longer hair.
It was getting late and Dad yawned. Mum took that as a cue and they both retired for the night, leaving me alone with my sister.
When Mum and Dad was safety upstairs, Emma turned to look at me.
“We need to talk. You know what it’s about.”
I nodded, sucking in a breath.
“What I saw earlier in the bathroom… I wasn’t mistaken, was I?”
“No,” I managed to squeeze out.
“I’m disappointed in you little brother. I thought you knew better than to play around with other people’s property.”
“I’m sorry. I just got carried away.”
“How did you get carried away doing something like that?”
“It’s just… I was horny and I saw your pants and I just…” My face burned red. “I’m sorry. Please don’t think ill of me.”
Emma sighed. “You need a girlfriend. You can’t do things like that, you’ll turn into a deviant.”
“I tried! But I can’t, I’m no good with girls.”
“What do you mean? You’re not ugly and aside from that peculiar act of yours, you’re generally a pleasant person. Girls would want to date you.”
“That’s exactly it! Girls do want to date me, but I can’t. I-I freeze up when I interact with them. I don’t know why exactly but I’m not comfortable around other girls.”
“You’re okay with me and Mum…”
“That’s different I guess. You’re family.”
Emma was staring at me intently, as if she was reading my soul through my eyes. After what seemed like forever, she let out a deep sigh. “Just… Don’t do it again okay?”
“Yes, I promise.”
“Okay.” She stood and went upstairs, leaving me feeling utterly reprimanded.
***
Johnny lobbed the ball over to me and I carved the ball into the net.
The friendly game ended and me and the lads whooped and cheered at the victory.
It was only a kick about, but we take sometimes take it too seriously.
I knew I had potential, but deep down I doubt I’d make it to premier league or anything. The most realistic path for me was uni, get a sports degree and be a coach or personal trainer or something.
That is, if I get over my morbid fear of interacting with women.
The boys congregated over the side of the field. I joined them and fished out my phone and bottle of energy drink. As usual, the guys were chatting up some girls who liked to hang around when we were playing. I tried to casually keep my distance while also looking like I’m with the group. The lads joked and teased the girls and they walked off.
“What do you reckon?” Johnny asked all of a sudden.
“What?”
“Them birds. They going to the club tonight. We’re joining them. You should come too.”
“Uhh, I got other things to do…”
“C’mon bro, you always blowing us off!” Eric said, suddenly wrapping his arm around my head, putting me in a headlock. “Don’t be a pussy, come for a drink with us. And get laid!”
I pried myself out of his arms and my phone lit up. It was a message from Emma.
[Are you free later?]
It was Saturday and Mom and Dad was gone. Maybe sis needed me to do something with her.
[Sure, just on the field with the lads]
[I’ll be home later, got something to talk to you about]
Okay, can’t tell if that’s good or not.
“I’ll even buy you a pint!” Johnny interjected.
“Can’t I got plans with Emma,” I said, holding my phone up as if it was a get out of jail free card.
“Tell your sis she can make plans with me anytime,” Johnny said, grabbing his nuts.
The other lads laughed with him.
I smirked and flipped them the bird.
***
I headed straight home and went to the bathroom to wash the muck off me. I stopped at the laundry bin again and guilt washed all over me. The contents was calling to me like a moth to a flame. I chastised myself for even considering it- I made a damn promise to my sister.
I shoved my dirty gear into the bin and rinsed myself off as clean as possible. Then I pulled on a T-shirt and shorts and went downstairs.
With a bowl of cornflakes for lunch, I settled down to a couple of rounds of Call of Duty in the living room. I didn’t even hear Emma come in.
She dropped a few medical tomes in front of me, on the coffee table.
“Got a minute?”
“Sure.”
“So, I did some research, on your compulsion.”
“Wait, what? There’s a medical issue with sniffing panties?”
“Not that. Your anxiety when it comes to conversing with women.”
“Okay…”
“Do you know what gynophobia is?” she asked, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose.
“Just that it’s a phobia of some sort?”
“Correct. A fear of women. Do you have any idea of what might have triggered it?”
A fear of women? Can’t say I ever been attacked by a girl or anything. I heard of people developing a fear of dogs after they’ve been bitten.
“Don’t think so.”
“Think back harder. It might not be a big deal or something that happened recently, like a subconscious fear buried deep down.”
“Uhh…” I took a focused effort to think up times I had a bad experience with women.
Then it hit me.
“Sally Saunders.”
Sally was a girl I had a massive crush on in school. I chanced it and told her I fancied her.
Not only did Sally reject me, she laughed at me and others joined in. I was weird for asking her out, go figure. I was known as ‘Spotty Leo’ back then, due to my acne issues. Thankfully it’s all cleared up now. I was traumatised back then. I couldn’t face going to school and my parents ended up transferring me to another school. With everything going on, I kinda forgot about it. I assumed my nervousness around girls were just me being shy.
Maybe it was more than that.
“I’m going to help you,” Emma said.
“How? Take me to therapy?”
“I can see two issues you’re dealing with right now; your irrational fear of women, and you’re intense libido. That’s the only logical conclusion I can hypothesize.”
“Uhh, I suppose. So what do you propose? Lock me in a room with girls until I don’t feel nervous around them?”
“Take off your shorts,” she said suddenly.
“What?”
“Strip. You need to desensitise yourself. There’s no way you can do it with another girl and I don’t trigger your anxiety, so I’m the only one who can help you.”
“I don’t know if I can, it’s kinda weird.”
“Not as weird as me walking in on my little brother jerking into my panties.”
“You’re never going to let that go, are you?”
Emma smirked. “Just teasing you.”
I let out a sigh. I looked up to the ceiling, as if there was going to be answers written up there. I really don’t need to go to university being afraid of women. It’ll be hell.
“Okay, fuck it. Let’s do this.”
I didn’t feel nervous in that way, not the anxiety inducing way- I kinda worked out that that felt different. But it didn’t mean I was comfortable whipping my dick out in front of my sister.
I pushed the band of my shorts down, together with my boxers.
Then Emma gasped.
“What?”
“Nothing. I didn’t expect you to be so… big.”
“Really?” I looked down. I guess it was big, but the only other penises I saw was in porn and they all looked around my size.
Emma sat there on her knees in front of me and I was standing there with my dick out. The way she looked at me… Laser focused and intentive, made me feel like a lab rat.
“Well?”
“Oh, right.”
I grabbed my floppy dick and gave it a few strokes. Emma couldn’t keep her eyes off it.
Maybe it was the strangeness of the situation, but my dick wasn’t getting hard. I usually did it in the privacy of my bedroom, one hand on my dick and the other holding my phone, streaming some porn. I’d usually have the volume on silent, but if there wasn’t anyone around, I’d indulge myself in the sound of the girls moaning.
This was completely different.
It was the middle of the day, in the living room and Emma was looking at me.
“What’s wrong? Isn’t this how guys masturbate?” she asked.
“Yeah but, I can’t seem to relax,” I replied, tugging away at my dick uselessly.
“Oh. Well, do you need some visual aid?”
Maybe some porn would help. “Yeah, sure.”
All of a sudden, Emma pulled her top over her head. In seconds, Emma went from clothed to being topless, her breasts covered up by her bra.
Jesus. Whatever porn I seen up till now, it didn’t compare to the full, voluptuous tits Emma had. They were so big and round, and way more than a handful.
My cock throbbed and I felt it harden in my hand.
I pumped and pumped, sometimes I had my eyes closed, still feeling semi self-concious of Emma’s penetrating gaze, and sometimes I try not to overtly feast my eyes on her fantastic breasts.
She didn’t seem bothered by me looking at them.
I still wasn’t rock hard though.
“What’s wrong? Is it this hard for men to pleasure themselves?”
“Uhh I dunno, still feels a bit hard to fully relax.”
It was weird, but Emma’s eyes had a weird glazed over look about them. Almost mesmerized by my hand movements.
“That is understandable. These are peculiar circumstances afterall. Let me help.”
She reached out and grabbed my shaft, pushing my hand away.
“Oh crap!” I cried out, not used to the sudden sensation of someone else’s hand on my dick. Emma’s hand felt silky soft and warm against my throbbing shaft. I hardened immediately.
“Much better,” she breathed.
My dick inflated until she couldn’t wrap her fingers around my thickness anymore. It grew to its full size against my sister’s hand dancing up and down my shaft, until it curved and pointed towards her.
I stood there ramrod straight, not really knowing where to put my hands.
Emma kept pumping away, slowly and methodically, almost in sync with her breathing, which seemed to me to be a bit more laboured than normal. Her face was so close to my cock, I felt the warmth of her breath brushing against my dick.
It was all so surreal, and exciting.
A drop of precum beaded out of my slit and ran down, coating my sister’s fingers.
“Oh shit, sorry,” I said.
“That’s okay. I don’t mind it.”
I swallowed down a gulp.
My heart pounded hard against my ribcage. Emma seemed happy to do… this for me. I wanted to chance something. She was so perfect, so beautiful, but I wanted to see more of her…
“Ems, do you think… If you wouldn’t mind. You think you can give me more of a visual aid?”
She looked up at me, an eyebrow raised. Her hand still kept pumping away at my cock and if I didn’t know any better, I swear she was giving me a bemused look.
She reached around with her free hand and unhooked the straps of her bra.
Her bra fell away and I groaned.
Emma’s massive tits bounced freely as she jerked me off, her grip tightened even more. It felt amazing, with my precum lubing up my shaft.
But her tits… Fucking hell, I haven’t seen anything so perfect in my life. Her nipples were as hard as acorns with a blushing of brown around them. Her breasts were so big and natural and the sight of them sent a bolt of excitement that went straight to my dick.
“Am I doing this correctly?” she asked, moving her hand maddeninly slowly up my shaft and giving it a delicious twist at the tip.
“Y-yeah Sis, it feels even better than when I do it myself.”
“I’m glad.” She smiled at me and her face blushed a little.
They say that when you’re aroused, you give off a smell. I wondered if Emma could smell my arousal, but if she did, she didn’t seem to mind it.
My balls tightened, that familiar tell tale sign threatened to overwhelm me soon. It was all too much; her velvety soft hand on my cock, her gorgeous breasts bouncing in time to her hand movements… The very fact that my own sister was by all intents and purposes, was jerking me off right now…
“Oh god, Ems, you need to stop. I’m going to cum..!”
But she didn’t stop. If anything, she tightened her grip on my desperate, aching cock. I bit down on my lip, my fingers clenching and digging into my palms, anything to stay the inevitable.
I cry out. My cock swelled for one last time and I came.
Emma had her eyes down on my cock, her hand a rapid blur as she pumped and pumped. She yelped as the first load of cum blasted forth and hit her square in the face. Then another load shot out just as violently.
Then another.
Ropes of cum blasted out, coating Emma’s beautiful face and hair. Because she gasped, some of it hit her in her mouth and glossed over her lips.
The rest streaked downwards, hitting her chest and painting all over her cleavage. I grunted and moaned uncontrollably, at the complete mercy of Emma’s pumping hand and not stopping until I emptied my balls out all over my sister.
Only when my semen were reduced to droplets, did Emma let go of me. I staggered backwards, spent and weak, and barely managed to keep upright.
“How did that feel?” she whispered.
“G-good,” I admitted.
“I meant if it triggered any anxiety.”
“Oh. Y-yeah, nothing triggered. I just felt good.”
She simply nodded.
I didn’t know if she was aware of it, but she licked her lips, seemingly not bothered about the taste of my cum in her mouth. The sight of it made my cock twinge with need again.
Almost methodically, as such was the way with many of things Emma did, she folded her blouse up neatly and draped it over her arm.
“I’m going to go clean up. I will help you with your condition when I have the time.”
“Okay,” I answered.
Emma walked off, not concerned about her exposed breasts. I kept my eyes on them, bouncing as she took each step upstairs, trying to commit the image to memory.
Wait, did she say she will continue to help with my condition?
Thanks for reading and if you enjoyed it, please check out the rest of this series on Smashwords! Stasia Grey xoxo