The loud music was pounding into my head. I had escaped to this hell-hole of a college party after perhaps my biggest fight with long-term boyfriend, Tyler. It was my Freshman year at college, and Tyler and I had been together since Sophomore year in high school. I loved him with all of my heart, but after a fight like we just had, I wanted to lose myself and get away.
This would be my first college party.
I sat at the bar, holding back tears and feeling impulsive and angry. I took my first ever sips of alcohol – I’d always been so against the stuff – but now I was angry and ready to do anything. One drink turned into two, and the burning feeling in my throat was somehow soothing and I couldn’t get enough. I was losing myself and forgetting. The lights and the music and the wild dancing was some sick medication for me that was working, and fast.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and for a second I thought it could be Tyler. I debated about hugging him, kissing him, or kicking him in the shins. I turned around and found a different face.
His name is Matt. Matthew Beloin. I giggled when I saw him, his french name seemed so comical. “Bell-waaaay!” I hugged him, stumbling off the stool. My anger was a pure sort of joy now at seeing my old friend. Matt was best friends with both Tyler and I, although I hadn’t seen him since graduation. He only lived about 45 minutes away, but we just never had the time to see each other.
Matt was never particularly attractive. In fact, he was a flat-out dork most of the time. We made fun of him for his pleated ‘grandpa pants’ and slip-on ‘grandpa shoes’. He had medium length brown hair and green eyes. Today he was wearing a deep blue striped dress shirt with a white t-shirt underneath. He held car-keys in his hand and looked concerned.
“Caitlin, are you alright?” Matt frowned. A blind man could tell I wasn’t.
“Mmm Bellwaay, whatcha doing here?” I asked. Matt took the alcohol away from me and led me to a much quieter room, where two or maybe three couples were making out. This was a fatal mistake. I was already an impulsive person, and tonight my inhibitions were out the window. Not to mention I had been hiding a deep secret for a long time.
About Junior year I began to have dreams of Matt. He’d walk in on Tyler and I and I’d invite him to join in. Or it’d be just us, and I would be serving him like his slave. Or other dreams where I owned him. He and Tyler knew about one or two of them, and because I made it seem as though I hated the thought, they laughed and teased me constantly. I always pretended to hate it, but I just loved to hear Matt talk about me having sex with him. Serious or not.
Ever since Tyler and I lost our virginity to each other, I’ve discovered an insatiable need for a LOT of sex. It never really even mattered if I got off, I just loved to hear my partner moan. I loved to make him cum, I loved feeling like some sort of goddess. Matt, being a bit of a dork, was the perfect target for a fantasy like that. I wanted to be mind-blowing and see that look of surprise and pleasure. I lived for it.
But I always held back.
I had a boyfriend, and I just couldn’t ask for a threesome. As awesome as he was in bed, he was a bit vanilla, and I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. I had no interest in Matt outside of pure sex. I could never love him, but still I just knew it would be to awkward for the three of us.
But we just had a fight. In all possibility we were over. And I was drunk.
“Tyler sent me to check on you, are you going to be ok?”
“Maaa-aatt?”
“Yeah?”
I bent close to him until my lips brushed his ears, and then in my sexiest voice (which was more than perfected over years with Tyler) I whispered,
“I want you to fuck me”
I sealed the words with a kiss on his neck as I pulled back to look at him in the eyes. His face drained of all color and his forhead was just starting to glisten with sweat. I saw his lip tremble and I listened closely. Ahh, there it is. The small, almost inaudible moan that escaped his lips was the most erotic, exciting thing that he could’ve done.
“You don’t know what you’re saying, Caitlin.”
“God I’ve wanted you for so long, Matt. I want to feel you inside of me” I bit my lip and gave a little moan of my own.
“There’s no way. You’re drunk and Tyler’s my friend. He’d kill us both”
“I don’t care…I want you…I promise it’s not just the alcohol. I’ve always wanted you. I’ve dreamt about you for so long. Tyler doesn’t love me anymore. I still love him but he gave up on me tonight…and I just want to fuck you.”
By now my nipples were pushing hard against my bra, objecting to modesty and just asking to be touched. I was sitting with my legs folded underneath me in a knee-length skirt. I hadn’t worn underwear for years and now the wetness in my crotch was leaking onto my legs. I felt the tingling and was utterly aroused. I looked down unto Matt’s pants, waiting for him to notice. When I was sure he did I looked up at him and licked my lips. This was my favorite part about sex. The part where they think “Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m this lucky”. That’s what I loved. I saw it in his eyes. There was still a twinge of guilt, but I finally saw something in Matt’s eyes I’d never seen before – he wanted me. I wasn’t even sure if he was capable of lust but now I knew. All he could think of at that moment was me, and it was my dream coming true.
“Are you hard for me Matt? Do you want me?”
“I…can’t though”
I knew he’d be difficult. I made an executive dicision and reached for his hand. I placed it on my hip and slowly moved it upwards. He tried to pull away once or twice, but when his fingers traced the under wire of my bra and I kept going, he almost involuntarily relaxed. I let go of his hand and closed my eyes. I wanted him to be so turned on he couldn’t stand in, so when his fingers found my hard nipples I leaned forward and moaned.
“Oh god Matt, you make me so wet”
I opened my eyes just enough to see that he was mine. He had given in. I had conquered him. I let my hand rest on his upper thigh and leaned in to kiss him on the neck. I followed his jawline up to behind his ear. I felt him shiver as my cool breathe ran across the wet places my kisses had been. I licked and pulled on his earlobe with my lips.
Both of his hands were on my chest now. I relished in him touching me. His first chance to explore hard nipples and they were mine, and he was transfixed on them and the feel of my breasts between his hands. I slipped my hand further up until I could feel the tightness in the fabric near his crotch. Oh how I love hard cock.
“You’re mine now, Matt. I’m going to make you feel something you’ve never dreamed of feeling. I’m going to make you worship me”
I chose the word “worship” as the cue for sliding my hand over his hard cock. By the time I said the word “me” he was moaning and pushing himself into my hand.
“Caitlin I can’t believe you want this”
“I want this. I want you”
“Here?”
Good question. The other couples were just making out, and I was just sober enough to realize that actually having sex here might be a bad plan.
“Let’s go somewhere” I grabbed his hand and pushed it into my chest one last time before pulling him up and out the door. When we got to his car I let myself into the passenger side.
“Let’s go to the hotel on 10th. Here’s the game. While you drive I’m going to touch you. If you look at me instead of the road I’ll have to stop and I won’t start again until your attention is on the road.”
The way to the hotel was all on small, low-traffic roads with a slow speed-limit. At this hour they’d be lucky to spot three cars the whole way there.
Matt eagerly turned on the car and started to stare at me.”You can’t watch!”
He turned toward the road and began to pull out of the parking lot and into the street. I reached over and stroked his dick through his pants. His grip tightened on the wheel and he accelerated a bit.
“Control yourself or I’ll have to stop.”
Matt moaned and grimaced the whole rest of the way to the hotel. I loved watching him want me, unable to have me.
Finally we made it to the hotel, and Matt nearly dropped his wallet trying to pay for the room. Finally we made it upstairs and into our own paid for room.
Matt walked in first, and I followed, shutting the door behind me.