Hi everyone! I once again have to thank pussyeeter for letting me do this and for his help! I know he doesn’t want this but I insisted that he do this for me, so here it goes. I had the honor of meeting him in person and let me tell you something about him, and I hope this doesn’t embarrass him but I have to do this. Read his love stories and how the male characters treat women, then I want you to think about this. He may not be trying to do this, but he is almost exactly like every one of the male characters he’s written about. The sex, I have no idea because we didn’t have sex or do anything like it, he’s very sweet, he’s incredibly respectful and he’s funny as hell!! I wish I would have known him before all of this because he is also a great friend, he is very loyal to his friends. He’s an amazing guy and he’s amazing for letting me do this, for helping me come up with this. So like, big thank you to you pussyeeter, I had a blast and I look forward to working with you more! Kisses!
So many people hear the word polygamy and immediately think, Mormons. I get it trust me, it’s because of their history and all. The thing is that yes polygamy was practiced in that church for a long time but the church tried to put a stop to that in September of 1890. After that they would practice it in secret so that no one knew, or at least they didn’t think anyone knew. It wasn’t until 1904 that it was completely stopped, or at least it was in that church. As a matter of fact, any and all polygamist, or as they called it, plural marriages were dissolved, so it all completely ended which means that if a guy had more than one wife, they didn’t anymore after congress met with the church leaders. Im not sure exactly when, but there were groups of people that broke away from the Mormon church and started their own versions of the Mormon church, and in those break off versions, they still practice polygamy today. They believe that in order to reach the highest kingdom of heaven they have to have many as wives as possible and as many kids as they could. I know what I’m talking about because I was born into one of those break offs and I grew up in that life. One of the churches is called the FLDS or Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints, again, they aren’t Mormons. The other is what we all call the order, and that’s the one I was born and raised in. To me, everything they did was normal, it was a way of life and I was suppose to do the same thing. I was suppose to be one of many wives to someone and have a lot of kids and to be perfectly honest, I didn’t want that because something about it just didn’t feel right to me, I just didn’t have a choice in the whole thing. I don’t know what it was that made me feel that way, but it haunted me and made me feel sick. It made me feel sick to know that I was suppose to get married, and share my husband with a whole bunch of women.
It wasn’t until I was 18 that I really saw the reality of polygamy and the pure ugliness of it all. The more I woke up, the worse things looked and believe me, it was looking really really bad. My thing was this, if God wanted us to be happy, why would he allow something bad happen to us? Why would he allow the abuse, the marrying of young girls to old men and why would he allow such young girls to have their childhood stolen from them by allowing the old men to get them pregnant after marrying them? I’m not saying that I don’t believe in God because I do. I just don’t believe in the same god they did, and I slowly started to see that the whole “this is the only true church” was nothing more than a lie. A whole lot of my cousins and sisters got married to older men that had eight to ten wives and ended up getting pregnant right after they got married. They also were getting pregnant every single year, so it was like they were pregnant all the time. Like I said I was 18 when I started to wake up, but it wasn’t until a few really bad things happened to me. I started to see past the fake smiles, and the fake happiness in my sisters and many others that were being courted and groomed. It was then that I realized that I had to get out, and I had to get out fast, but I’ll save that for later too.
My name is Kaylee, and I am one of almost 72 kids between the 22 wives that my dad had. I’m 22 now and I am no longer in the order in any way, I ran away with the help from the last person I ever expected to help me. The order hides all of their indiscretions and their life style in plain sight, if you didn’t know about it, you’d never know, it’s hidden that good. Your next door neighbors could be polygamists and you’d never know it. The thing I realized after so many years, was that physical, sexual and mental abuse was a huge part of daily life. A guy that had many wives had so many wives and kids that they had to “rule with an iron fist” and that meant regular beatings and stuff. That’s just one of many things the order did to control everyone, it was basically mind control. The highers, that’s what we called the elders or leaders of the order, were constantly using religion and God to get what they wanted. Now imagine this for a minute, we literally married our own cousins and stuff, and the husbands beat us and tear us down verbally and physically all the time, would you think that it was normal? Well, to me, it was normal, even though that kind of stuff really isn’t normal if that makes sense. The problem was that I waited so long that I almost got killed several times before I realized that it wasn’t normal, that it was hell, a hell that no one should live through. After I left the order I should have lost everyone in my family, but I didn’t loose anyone, and you’ll see what I’m talking about later. The thing was that if you left the order, you were suppose to loose everything and everyone you ever knew, you were shunned and disowned by everyone, everyone including brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and parents, you lost them all. My eyes were closed and I was completely oblivious to what the order was all about when I was young. My mom was the 19th of 22 wives to a guy who will remain nameless for two reasons. One, I DO NOT want him to get any notoriety because of me, he was a very sick and evil man. And two, I’ll admit it, I was scared of him and I still am, you don’t know what these people are capable of and those who have been in the order, know what I’m talking about. Those of us that have been there know exactly what they are capable of because we’ve lived through hell because of them.
You hear about all these people who only have a one parent home and how hard it is for them and their single moms or single dads. It wasn’t difficult for me because I didn’t see anything wrong with it, to me it was normal for the father to never be around, or at least not be around for long periods of time. That’s the way it was for me growing up so I guess I was just use to only mom being around. She worked a job that the order gave her too, so between that and the fact that she had to raise 9 kids it made it difficult for her. No matter how hard she tried to hide it, I could still tell that she was not happy at all, she was miserable. I was the middle child of all of us, and there were six girls and three boys in my family. When my dad did come around, he was really mean and very abusive to me, my brothers and sisters and my mom. It was like living in hell when he was around, but again, I was use to it and thought that it was just the way fathers treated their families. Dad had a lot of kids, so he had to rule with an iron fist to keep us all in check. In the order, the only thing I can ever remember them teaching us is that we were to follow the words of our elders, or highers, and if we didn’t, there were punishments that were given, some worse than others. We were taught to do exactly what the highers told us to do, and if we didn’t we would be damned. If you were a boy, the punishments were a lot more severe for you because girls were far more valuable to the order than boys were because we could have kids.
Another thing that happened all the time in the order was incest between cousins, uncles and nieces and brothers and sisters. Some girls would be sharing their husbands with their own sisters too because some of the guys would marry all of the girls in one family. It was a very normal thing because they wanted to keep the family blood line clean, actually, family is all we were allowed to date and marry. As in, the men would marry their first cousins, nieces or half sisters and have sex with them, not to mention the fact that they would have a lot of babies. A perfect example of that is that my dad is my moms first cousin, she was 15 and he was 37 when they got married, and mom was 16 when she got pregnant with her first kid. I remember his brother pretty good because at some point, he ended up marrying one of my sisters and she was wife 11 for him. But after her, there was one person that he married that was not a member of the order when he met her. How that happened was pretty complicated so I’ll try to explain it as best as I can, and I’ll explain why I was kind of excited about it, and yes it had something to do with a cute boy, a really really really cute boy like, oh my god he was the cutest boy ever! My uncles wife number twelve was a really nice lady and she was really really in love with my uncle. Now I only know how they met because this lady was a bit of a celebrity in the order and she’s told this story at one of our youth conferences. She was related to us by blood, she was my dads and uncles niece. Apparently my dad and uncle had a sister that ran away while she was pregnant with her. No one knew about her at all because their sister was completely erased from everything after she ran away, which is normal for the order, she was the third wife of one of my dads uncles. She was 14 and that uncle was 41 when she was raped, which actually happened all of the time in the order, and got pregnant with my “celebrity” cousin. All we know was shortly after she was raped and got pregnant, she ran away and no one ever heard from her again. My cousin, my dads niece was born outside of the order a few months after that. Girls are always sexually assaulted and molested, but we were always told that it was God punishing us for something that we did or didn’t do. Anyway, I know all of that sounds really complicated, so bear with me.
Well, my cousin (dads niece) started talking about how her life was a mess and how she was seventeen when she went to Hawaii for spring break and ended up having sex with some “local” guy there. She got pregnant, and had a boy and it was 5 years after she had my second cousin Mason that she met my uncle. (Dads brother) She told us how she felt when she met her husband, and how he made everything so “perfect” for her and everything. So she started to date him, and after a while, she ended up joining the order, she was welcomed because she was a member of our family, she was blood related. That just meant that her uncle could get her pregnant and never have to worry about tainting the bloodline. So that’s where the cutest boy in the world comes in, he was the son of my cousin, and that’s the background. There were so so many girls that liked my second cousin because he was, how do I say this..he was the best looking boy in town like, oh my god, OH MY GOD! Many of the other boys and even older men knew that he was the cutest most handsome guy in the order and saw him as a major threat because of that. There were a lot of girls like my cousins and sisters that tried to court him. All of them begged for him to be put on their list of potential husbands, and I won’t lie, I did too. I was hoping so bad that Mason was on my list because I really liked him, he was by far the cutest boy that any girl had ever seen, he was the cutest cousin of all of them! I know that I wasn’t the only one who thought that because all of the girls that knew him, or knew about him talked about him all the time. He had a line that was like, a mile long of girls that wanted to dance with him at the order dances, I know because I was one of those girls that was in that line. So as you can imagine, I had so so much competition, I did get to dance with him a lot too, yay me! But the best part was that he would always dance with me four or five times every time and only once with other girls!
I knew him already for obvious reasons, he was my cousin, but I liked him A LOT, and I mean a lot. I would day dream about him all the time and I would always imagine him kissing me on my lips. The problem was that he was 16 and I was 12, so there was an age issue there. He was so cute that I heard my aunts talk about how handsome he was all the time, I even heard one say that they wished that they were his age. They liked him so much that all of them put him on their daughters lists. It was because of that that he was going on date after date after date, and I wasn’t hearing very many good things about him. He was always really nice and very respectful, but he was never all there. He would always tell his dates that he was only on a date with them because he was being forced to do it, he didn’t have a choice. The thing was that the dates always seemed boring or at least they would be boring for him. He was only allowed to take his cousins out to dinner and walk around a park, and that was it. The good part of all that was none of my other cousins and sisters from other moms wanted to go on a second date with him because of it. They all said that he was a really really nice guy and every thing but he just wasn’t into any of the girls. They say that he was like, a million times cuter up close. They all swooned over him, they all melted around him and they were really nervous around him. He was so handsome and so cute that he actually scared some of the girls, he was that cute! He was such a good looking guy that everyone tried all they could to win him over, but it wasn’t working at all. Moms started to doll their daughters up like crazy to get him to be attracted to them, but Mason wasn’t biting at all. It was getting to the point that there were no more girls left for him to choose from, or at least girls his age or close to his age, so they started to send him on dates with girls that were way too young for him.
Again he was sixteen, but his mom and dad, and my aunts and uncles started to set him up with 12, 13, and 14 year old girls and all that did was just make things worse for the girls. I liked him because he was such a handsome and cute guy, but I was starting to think that my chances of him liking me were pretty bad now. I was beginning to think that he was never going to be on the list of guys that the highers in the order wanted me to court and marry and it was making me sad. If he wasn’t on the list of guys that the order chose for me then there was no way that I could date him, it would be forbidden. We courted and married guys that we were told to court and marry and that was it, no one else, so if Mason wasn’t on my list, I would have no choice but to forget about him. I did get to find out more about him than any of the other girls because my 11 year old, yes I said 11 year old sister Janell who I was really really close with got to go on a date with him. The story was the same, he was polite, he was sweet, he was respectful, he was thee biggest gentleman ever and he was funny, but he just wasn’t into her at all and he told her that it was because she was way too young for him. He wanted to have fun on his dates and none of the moms wanted him to do anything fun with their daughters. Like I said, he was only allowed to go to dinner and the park and that was it. But a lot of our aunts started to allow him to keep the girls out till midnight after a while. He did make it known that he was only on a date with the girls because he had to be, not because he wanted to be. I found out that his full name was Mason James McCarthy, he still had his moms maiden name. The morning of my 14th birthday, I woke up and found a little pink book sitting on my night stand that was about as big as a playing card.
Since I was 14 now, I had developed a lot, so I looked a little different than I did when I was 11 or 12. I wasn’t all that tall, I was 4’9 then, I have full lips, really long light blonde hair, actually, it’s a natural platinum blonde, it was so blonde that it was almost white, I love my hair. I have big blue eyes, naturally long eye lashes and I have pale white skin, I was so white that my skin was almost transparent. In the FLDS the girls weren’t allowed to wear anything that exposed anything but their necks, face and hands. Girls were to wear dresses all the time, and they were ugly as hell. They went from their necks to their ankles and all the way to their wrists, that was the normal dress code for girls, and they were all hand made at their houses. They weren’t allowed to wear make up or cut their hair, and they weren’t allowed to because they did not want the girls to be attractive at all. Luckily for me, my mom, and my sisters we weren’t FLDS members, we were in the order so we lived in a city with outsiders. I was glad because I went to school and stuff, but I still had to worry about being pulled out of school at a young age to be groomed and trained to be a baby bearing wife. I also loved that I was able to wear basically what I wanted and I got to wear make up, but I wasn’t allowed to wear anything that showed any of my assets, like my boobs or anything like that. The reason I was allowed to wear regular clothes was because we had to blend in with everyone around, remember, we were hiding in plain sight. I still didn’t cut my hair that much so it was still really long, it went all the way to my butt.
After I got dressed and ready for school, I looked at the pink little book that someone left on my night stand, I have to be honest, I didn’t want to look in that book. I knew what it was, it was a list of boys and old men that I was suppose to date, the only ones I was suppose to date. I was dreading it, but at the same time I was curious to see who was in there. So I opened it and found a note from my parents that read:
Happy birthday Kaylee! You have reached the golden age, the age in which you are now ready for courtship and marriage to one of gods chosen men! You have entered gods age! This is the time that you are now blessed to marry and bring more children into the order and help in the building of gods kingdom!
Congratulations, we can’t tell you how proud we are of you and for how much you have grown! In the following pages you’ll see a list of men that God has selected for your courtship. As you move into this blessed time, remember to trust your highers, trust those who are wise and who will lead you to the kingdom of heaven.
Mom and dad.
When I finished reading that, I couldn’t believe how awkward I felt, I felt weird and I had no idea why. But I went ahead and looked at the names in the book starting with the third page, and yes, some of them were my cousins, and some were my older 30 to 50 year old uncles. Gross, I thought while I read those names. But there was one name that caught my attention like, really really fast, and when I saw it, I got really really excited! The name was, Mason James McCarthy! You have no idea how excited I got when I saw his name on the list of “chosen men”. I was extremely excited, so excited that I picked up my pillow, covered my mouth and started to jump around my room and screamed into my pillow! I had to calm down, I had to because I didn’t want anyone to know how excited I was that of all the boys out there, Mason was on the list! But it gets better, he was number one on that list! Oh my god you have no idea how excited I was. There were a few problems though. One, he just turned 18 a week before I turned 14, two, he was a senior in high school, and three, I knew how his dates always turned out. I didn’t care, I was just happy that he was number one on the list! The cutest boy in the world, my first ever crush was the first guy on the list! So I went to school with a smile on my face, especially since I was a freshman in the same high school as Mason was in, he was a senior. For some reason, I could not stop smiling when ever I saw him, and for the first time ever, he smiled back at me and waved. I melted when he did that, oh my god he waved at me, I thought while he walked away.
“How did you do that?!” My sister named Rina asked.
“What?” I asked.
“He smiled and waved at you. He never did that to any of the other girls he’s gone on dates with.” She said.
“He hasn’t?” I asked.
“No, he hasn’t, ever, you’re the only one.” She said.
“Wait, how did you do that?” My bestie/sister Janell asked.
“I don’t know! He just smiled at me and waved, why is that such a big deal to everyone?” I asked while more of my sisters, from other moms, came up to me.
“Because, he’s never looked at any of us the way he does you, I think he actually likes you.” Rina said while the other girls all started saying the same thing.
“It’s not that big of a deal you guys, it really isn’t.” I said.
“Yes it is, he’s been going on dates since he was 16, and he’s been going on dates with a different girl every weekend since then. You’re the only one that he seems interested in.” Janell said.
“I don’t know what to say guys, I don’t think that’s really all that huge.” I said.
We went through that day and I tried to not read into it all that much. I didn’t want to because I knew how all of the dates that Mason went on, went. Nothing ever happened with him and the girls because he wanted to be the one to make his own choice on who he wanted to court, at least that’s what I figured. I was so excited because like we always did, we had an order dance that night. We had dances twice a month every month in the order, and that was so that the guys that went, could basically look at what his options were. There were even older guys there that were even older than my major major crush, Mason, was. Those dances were the first step in our courtship. I was a popular girl and I didn’t really know why, I guess guys like small tiny little blondes like me, but I wasn’t into any of them. I started going when I was 12 and I always liked going because they were actually kinda fun and I always got to dance with the cutest guy ever more than any of the other girls there. So that night I went to the dance hoping that I’d see Mason, but he didn’t go to the dance. I was kinda bummed, I wanted to see him and I wanted to dance with him, he was the one I liked. I mean, there were some cute guys there, but Mason was the cutest of them all. But, I did get to see him that next Saturday because me, all of my cousins, brothers and sisters, my dad and all of his wives, his brother, Mason’s step dad and Mason and everyone else all went to the park. They were throwing me and quite a few of my sisters, a birthday party. But the party was also to congratulate us for entering into “the golden age” as my parents put it. There were so many people there that it was almost ridiculous, but it was really cool too. What surprised me was that Mason, my biggest crush I ever had, came up to me.
“Happy birthday Kaylee.” He said quietly with his booming deep voice.
“Thank you.” I stammered, I couldn’t believe that he was talking to me.
“Is it ok if I hug you?” He asked.
“Yes, it’s perfectly ok, you’re my cousin why wouldn’t it be?” I asked trying to hide the fact that I was like, dying inside, but in a really good way.
Oh my god he was sssssooooo so amazingly handsome and really really really cute!! He was really tall now, he was way taller than he was when he was 16, he was 6’10. He had light brown hair, and he had these really cool natural red streaks and highlights in his hair. His eyes were huge and they were thee brightest most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen and no he wasn’t wearing contacts. He was HUGE! He played sports, basketball football, soccer, he ran track, he played baseball and everything. He has a nick name, Tree, and it was because of his size. Again, he wasn’t fat at all, and over the years he kept working out so he was incredibly athletic and really ripped. So between that and his height, his really broad shoulders, and the fact that he was big boned, they say that he was built like a redwood tree trunk, so they called him tree, sometimes trunk. Now, I feel dirty for saying this, but he had a really really hot and nice body, and trust me, I’m not the only one who thought that, there were a lot of us that stared and drooled when he took his shirt off and I swear to god, he had no body fat at all. And now, tree was hugging me, he..was..hugging..me, yeah, I got all light headed I won’t lie. After he hugged me, he hung out with me for a little while, oh my god his smile, I thought, I could not stop looking at him!
He was the sweetest guy ever, and he was so tall that when he hugged me, I don’t think my head even touched his chest. I felt so warm and so amazing when his arms brushed against mine, and the way he kept smiling at me and looking in my eyes, god! He hung out with me for a couple of hours, and I noticed something because I tested him. I would walk away and when I did, he would either stay where he was and wait for me to go back to him, he would follow me, or he would come find me! I was literally screaming inside I was so excited about that! So when he did that, I didn’t want to be away from him again so when he walked off, I went looking for him and when I found him, he would smile and look in my eyes. I really hated that he worked for his step dad on a construction site because he had to go to work. He asked me if I wanted to walk him to his car and I said yes, of course in my head I was thinking, “hell yes I wanna walk you to your car, are you freaking kidding me?!” While we walked to his car, I couldn’t help but touch him, I had too because there was this really awesome connection between us, there were some major major sparks. I hugged him again and told him to be careful, then while I walked off, I slid my hand down his amazing muscly arm and pulled on his hand by his fingers while I looked in his gorgeous eyes. That was it for me when it came to Mason, I really really liked him a lot like, a lot a lot! It hadn’t even been a week since my 14th birthday, and it hadn’t even been a week since I got my list and I already knew who I wanted to be with, I wanted to be with Mason, I didn’t even care that he was 18 and I was 14 anymore. If I was going to be with a guy that was chosen for me, it was Mason for sure, my mind was already made up.
The thing was that I didn’t go on a date with him for a long time, instead, mom kept sending me on dates with other guys from the list. I even went on dates with a couple of my uncles, and that was just really gross. Mason, or “tree” was actually talking to me all the time and he and I became really really good friends. We hung out at school all the time and he even came to my house to help me with my homework a lot. When he did that, we would go in the basement and watch movies together, but once we knew we were alone, he would actually cuddle with me, I was in heaven every time! Oh my god I liked him sssssooo so much! And after a little while, he actually became my best friend, he was by far the best friend I had ever had in my life! He was funny, he made me laugh all the time and we started doing absolutely everything together, everything except using the bathroom. I could trust him with anything in the world, because dad wanted me to go on date with this fifty year old guy and I didn’t want to. The last time I complained about going on a date with someone I didn’t want to go on a date with, I got yelled at, I got beaten and molested by dad or the guy I went on the forced date with. Which the molesting happened every time I went on dates with any of the guys before, I was even raped a couple of times. It didn’t matter who I complained to, dad would somehow find out about it. Mason was thee only one who would never say anything. I told Mason about how I didn’t wanna go on that date, or how I didn’t want to have the guys I courted to be chosen for me anymore. After I told Mason, no one ever found out about it, ever. After that, I could tell him anything I wanted, I could talk about kissing, I could talk about anything I wanted to talk about and Mason never, ever said anything to anyone about anything I ever said. In fact, he agreed with me! He hated that he had girls being chosen for him, he was my best best friend!
I had one really big problem though, I was falling in love with him, and I was falling really really hard! It started to get to where he was all I could think about and sometimes it made me feel sick. Every time I closed my eyes all I could think about was him, I could feel his arms around me and I could smell him and everything. It even got to where I talked about him all of the time. And the more time passed, the more I fell in love with him I mean, I was getting really obsessed. I started to really hate the fact that he went on dates every weekend because I was getting really really jealous. I cried so many times because he was going on dates with different girls and I was afraid that he was going to find someone that he would fall in love with. I wanted to be with him, I wanted to be the one he fell in love with. Of course I didn’t know that I was in love with him until mom came in my room and found me bawling my eyes out because he was going on a date with some other girl. She asked me why I was crying and I told her after she begged me to tell her what was wrong, and that’s when I found out that I was in love with him. I think he started to see the look in my eyes when he told me about the dates. He saw the pain and hurt that it was making me feel so he stopped talking about his forced dates, which is good since I didn’t want to hear about them anymore anyway, I even stopped telling him about my dates. I was in love with him so it felt like we were cheating on each other even though we weren’t courting at all. It was so crazy to me because I’d never been in love before but at the same time, I loved how it felt!
Nine months after Mason and I became best friends and after I realized that I was in love with him, mom had me take the longest bath with some really expensive soap and stuff. When I got all cleaned up and dressed she told me to leave my hair alone and not to wear any make up at all. She just had me pull my hair back in a pony tail. When I was ready, she took me to the salon and I thought it was because she was just being nice. I didn’t know that she had other plans for me. But she had them do my hair up all really nice and fancy, and had them do my make up for me. Then she took me to get my nails done before she took me home and had me get dressed in a black tank top and a pair of really short shorts. The shorts were really tight and I could feel my butt cheeks kinda poking out of them, and they rode really low, so a little bit of my tummy showed from my waist band to my tank top. You couldn’t see my belly button cause my shirt covered that. She had me wear a really really cute pink belt that went with the whole outfit. The tank top she made me wear was kind of tight and it showed my bra straps and my boobs a little. Girls weren’t suppose to wear stuff that showed as much cleavage as my tank top was showing, and because I had big b cup boobs, I had some serious cleavage showing. I know a b cup isn’t all that big, but I was still only like, 4’11 and I was really tiny, so my boobs were pretty big for a girl my size. Mom made me wear that, she even pulled on my top so that it showed my bra and cleavage really good, but not to where I looked like a slut.
“Mom, can I ask you something?” I asked.
“Yes you can hun, while you’re asking me, hold your bra and lift your boobs so they sit in your bra better.” She said.
“Ok, you know I’m not suppose to wear anything like this right? The order would be so so mad.” I said while I adjusted my boobs, and when they were comfortable, I noticed that my really really white cleavage showed way way better.
“Yes I know it goes against the orders teachings.” Mom said.
“Why are you letting me wear this?” I asked.
“Is it not comfortable?” She asked.
“No it is comfortable and I really like how I look.” I said.
“So what’s the problem?” She asked.
“I’m not suppose to wear anything like this mom, my boobs are showing like, they’re all out here like this, and my tummy is kinda showing.” I said.
“I know.” She said.
“There has to be a reason why you’re letting me dress like this.” I said.
“Close your door.” She said with a smile making me go close my door.
“This has to stay between us ok?” Mom asked.
“Ok.” I said.
“Promise me.” She said.
“I promise that this will be our secret.” I said.
“It’s because the boy that you’re going out with tonight is my favorite of all of the ones on your list. He’s funny, he’s a really great guy, and he’s incredibly handsome, I could go on and on, but that’ll just ruin the surprise. I want you to wear this because I really want him to get really attracted to you, I want him to be so attracted to you that he just has to choose you or he’ll regret not doing so. I think he’s perfect for you.” Mom said.
“You liked all the guys you made me date already mom.” I said.
“Not like I like this one.” Mom said.
“Mom, I don’t want some random guy to see me like this, I’m not suppose to be this attractive at all.” I said.
“I know that it’s wrong and against everything the order teaches, and yes I know that I can get into so much trouble.” Mom said.
“I’m not sure that I wanna do this mom.” I said.
“Just trust me on this, I need you to trust me.” She said.
“I’ll be so mad if he tries anything mom, I swear that I’ll never talk to you again if he does.” I said.
“Just trust me.” Mom said with a smile.
“Ok, whatever.” I said while she adjusted my shirt and bra making my boobs look way way good.
I won’t lie, I felt really sexy when I looked in the mirror, I’d never seen myself look that hot before in my life and I never knew that I could look that good at all, I actually loved how my boobs looked! I even loved that you could see the top part of my bra a little, and I loved that my tummy kinda peeked out a little. I didn’t want mom to know that I actually loved how I looked so I had to hide it. When I was done she had me put my black and pink cowgirl boots and cowgirl hat on and wait in the living room, I looked way hot and I loved it. I knew that I was going on a date and I was kinda dreading it because I was expecting another uncle or some one else. Why would mom make me wear clothes like that, she never let me wear anything like that before, well, I guess she answered that already huh. She must have gone shopping for that outfit while I was in school. I was not looking forward to having some old guy perving on me at all, in fact I felt sick about it. I didn’t complain about it because I didn’t wanna get in trouble, so I had no choice but to just go with it. But when the door bell rang and mom let my date in, I froze. IT WAS MASON! I don’t think you’ll ever ever understand how excited and happy I was when he walked into the living room. He’s so tall that he had to bend down so he wouldn’t hit his head!
“MASON?!” I asked while I smiled.
“Hey Kaylee.” He said with the worlds most beautiful smile.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“We are going on a date.” He said making me get like, oh my god I was so excited!!
“Really?!” I asked.
“Yep.” He said while I looked at my mom.
“Told you to trust me.” Mom said.
“Yay! Mom! Thank you!” I said while I ran and jumped up to her and hugged her.
“You’re welcome hun, but you need to thank him because he wanted to go on this date, he asked me if he could take you out tonight.” Mom said making me let go of her and walk up to him.
“Really?” I asked while looked at my incredibly handsome date.
“It’s true.” He said.
“This is like, the best day ever.” I said while I wrapped my arms around Mason and looked at mom.
“Now, the rule is to have her back by ten.” Mom said.
“Yes mam.” Mason said while I floated in the clouds.
“Well, we’re going to bend that rule a little. Let’s see, it’s six thirty now, so you have five and a half hours left, have her home by midnight instead of ten.” Mom said making me even more excited, I wasn’t sure I could handle much more excitement!
“Yes mam.” Mason said.
“Come with me for a second, I have some sweet nothings to whisper to you.” Mom said while she took my hand and led me out of the room.
“Now listen to me, I wanna hear everything about your date with this handsome guy, and don’t hesitate to try kissing him because I think he likes you more than just a friend.” Mom said making me float even higher.
“I’m so so excited, he’s the cutest boy ever!” I said.
“And he’s your best friend, so you already have a huge advantage over any and all of the other girls including your sisters and cousins.” Mom said.
“I know!” I said before she took me out to my date.
“Well, you two get going and have fun, don’t forget, midnight, not ten.” Mom said.
“Yes mam.” He said.
I couldn’t believe it, I was going on a real date with Mason, my best friend in the whole world, and my biggest crush ever! I was so so excited and I was actually looking forward to that date! We went out to his car and he opened the door for me and I got in his car before he closed my door and got in.
“I’m just going to say this, you look really really beautiful, I mean, you always look beautiful so I guess that’s not anything new, but tonight you look extra beautiful and you look kinda hot.” He said nervously while he looked at me.
“Thanks, you always look really handsome and cute.” I said with the biggest smile.
“Thanks, you’re blushing really bad.” He said while he started driving.
“Well yeah, you just told me that I look beautiful and hot.” I said.
“You do, you always have.” He said.
He took me to dinner, and since we had like 4 hours left, I decided to do what none of the other girls did. I wanted him to have fun, so we went to a mini golf course and played mini golf. I had an absolute blast and I could tell that he was having a lot of fun. He was such a gentleman and he was hilarious, I had never laughed as hard as I did that night. He made me laugh so hard that my stomach hurt, he made me laugh so hard that he made me spit my drink out so many times. I even laughed so hard that I almost passed out. I was having the best time ever and I didn’t want it to end. We started to goof around and shove each other and laugh, then we decided to make a game out of our game. We decided to see who could distract who the worst, and it was his turn first. He started talking a lot of trash and started to make me laugh again, and by the time I got my ball in the hole, I had tried almost ten times, so he won the first round. Then it was my turn, but I was so busy watching him move and everything that I had a hard time concentrating on anything, he won that round too. Then when we went to the next hole, he started to tell me how beautiful I was and that he felt lucky that he was actually on a date with me. Yeah, he won that round too, I mean, he really made me feel really good, and when I looked at him and saw the look in his eyes, you talk about amazing and massive sparks!
He didn’t look at me like he wanted to have sex with me like all of my other dates, nor did he even look at my boobs all that much. I actually liked it when he looked at them though, and trust me, he did a few or more times, it made me feel really sexy. Even though he looked at my boobs, I still saw something different in his eyes. He had the warmest smile ever and I felt these amazing butterflies and chills. I kinda felt numb and I don’t know. I felt that way about him since my birthday party, but this was way way way stronger than then. I already knew that I was madly in love with him and had been for the last couple of months. But when he looked at me the way he did, it took everything that I had to not tell him that I was in love with him. Obviously, he won that round because I felt warm all over and I couldn’t see that good. I couldn’t stop smiling and looking at him and while I kept trying to get the ball in the hole, the biggest urge came over me like, it hit me so hard that I started to shake. I wanted to kiss him on his lips. When I finally got the ball in through the obstacles and in the hole, I just walked up to him and put my hand on his tummy while I looked up into his amazing eyes and smiled.
“God you’re so beautiful.” He said softly while he put his hand on my tummy and slid his hand across it while he went and got his gold club.
I can’t even begin to explain what happened to me when we touched each other like that. Electricity is the best I can do, it felt electric, and the sparks between us were ridiculous, but in an amazing way.
“Thanks.” I said while he grabbed his club.
“It’s your turn.” He said while he put his hand on my back very gently.
We made it to the next hole, he put his ball down, and while I watched this amazingly handsome and gorgeous man, the urge to tell him how I really felt about him just kind of took over.
“Mason, can I tell you something?” I asked while he got ready to putt.
“Yes.” He said while he looked up at me.
“Ok, so um, I have to say this. You know how we’ve been best friends for the longest time and all?” I asked while he stopped and gave me all of his attention.
“Yeah.” He said while he gave me the biggest chills.
“That and we get along really really good.” I said.
“I think we know each other better than we know ourselves.” He said.
“We do everything together.” I said.
“And I love that.” He said.
“Well, you know that I like you more than just a friend right?” I asked.
“I feel the same way about you, that’s why I wanted to go on this date with you.” He said making my feelings for him get so strong that I couldn’t breath.
“Well, it’s not just that I like you that way.” I said.
“It’s not?” He asked with a look on his face that made my confidence like, a million times better.
“No, it’s not. I know I’m only 14 and you’re 18 and all, but somewhere during the time we’ve been best friends I kinda like, I uuum, I kinda fell in love with you.” I said nervously while I looked down and brushed my hair out of my eyes.
When I looked up again, Mason was standing right there, and he was really close, and he had that gorgeous smile of his on his face. His eyes were sparkling and he was looking kinda like he was breathing kinda hard.
“You’re not just saying that because you wanna win are you.” He asked while his eyes moved from side to side while he looked into mine.
“No Mason, I am in love with you.” I said while my body started to shake.
“I’m in love with you too, I’ve been in love with you for several months now.” He said while he lifted my head gently with his finger under my chin.
The next thing I knew was that the sparks between us literally blinded me for a second. All I knew was that he closed his eyes and all of a sudden, I felt his soft lips touch my lower lip. Oh my god oh my god oh my god he’s kissing me, I thought while he held that soft tender kiss for a few long seconds before he broke away and kissed my upper lip, then my bottom lip again. I literally couldn’t breath like, at all! He shot me to the moon, that’s the only way I know how to describe what I was feeling. I opened my eyes after a few more seconds to see him standing there with a look of panic in his eyes.
“I am so so sorry, that was too soon, I’m sorry.” He said with the saddest look in his eyes, like he did something terrible.
What he didn’t know was that I LOVED THAT HE KISSED ME, OH, MY, GOD! I wasn’t mad and I wasn’t scared, I was in heaven, I died and went to heaven! The cutest, most handsome, most amazing looking boy I had ever seen in my life, my best friend just told me that he was in love with me like I was in love with him, and he kissed me! He started to back away and he looked so so scared and sad.
“Mason, stop, it’s ok.” I said while I grabbed his arm to stop him.
“That was too soon I know, I should have asked you before I did that. I’m so sorry if I scared you, I don’t want you to hate me, you’re my best friend and I don’t want to loo…” He said, but I interrupted him.
“I loved it Mason, I loved it.” I said while I stepped up to him.
“You did?” He asked while relief replaced his panic.
“Yes I did, I’m sorry that I stood here like a zombie, you made me feel like I was in heaven.” I said.
“Oh my god, thank god.” He said while he sighed.
“Can you like, kiss me again, please? I asked while I pulled on his shirt.
“You’re biting your lip.” He said while he started to caress the side of my face.
“Because I want you to kiss me again.” I said.
The second he closed his eyes, I closed mine and opened my mouth a little, only this time when he kissed me, I kissed him back. We kissed twice before I opened my mouth a little and licked his top lip, and before I knew it, I was slowly and gently sliding my tongue into his mouth. My whole body shuddered and I dropped my golf club before I wrapped my arms around his neck and turned my head because when I pulled my tongue back in my own mouth, his tongue went into my mouth. When we ended that kiss, my lower lip was between his and we were both breathing kinda hard. I instantly became addicted to the way he tasted and the way he made me feel. We kissed again, only we didn’t just put our tongues in each other’s mouths, we twisted them together and lovingly licked the insides of each other’s mouths. I heard that first kisses were always awkward at first, but somehow me and Mason seemed to have a perfect slow rhythm, and he had ever kissed before, I had, but I was forced to do it. Tasting him and hearing the smacking noises we made while we kissed over and over again started to make my body tingle all over, I didn’t even realize that he picked me up. All I know was that we were kissing over and over and over again while I rubbed the back of his head, his neck and his face. It was like everything and everyone disappeared and we were the only two in the world, like we were the only two that existed. O…M…G he was a way way better kisser than my uncles were like, a billion times better! We kissed for like, the longest time and I really didn’t want to stop, but we had to. We stopped kissing and I rested my head against his with my eyes closed, and after another few second, I opened my eyes and smiled so big, I had no idea that I could smile like that.
“I love you.” He said making me start crying.
“I love you too, I don’t think you know how happy I am right now.” I said.
“I think I kinda do, you’re crying.” He said making me laugh.
“I love you Mason.” I said with my arms around his neck and my head against his.
“I love you Kaylee.” He said.
“I think you pretty much won the game.” He said while he smiled.
“Oh no, no I didn’t, I wasn’t trying to distract you and we have a long ways to go. I may be loosing right now, but now that we know we are in love with each other and stuff, watch out because it’ll be easier to distract you now.” I said while he put me down.
“Are you sure about that?” He asked while he put me down.
“No, I’m not actually.” I said with a laugh before I looked straight up and pushed my body against his.
It was like he couldn’t resist no matter how hard he tried because he leaned down and kissed me again. When he kissed me this time, I opened my mouth and slid my tongue in his mouth first and we started to twist and slide our tongues together slowly. He started to take my breath away when he did, so I lifted my arms and put my hand on his neck. This time we licked each other’s mouths for like, the longest time. I could feel my long blonde hair brushing against my butt while our heads moved while we kissed. I was so light headed and I felt so so amazing that I just didn’t wanna stop kissing, god I loved how he tasted! I loved how his tongue felt in my mouth and against my tongue, how his lips felt against mine, and how his body felt against mine.
“God I love how you kiss, you’re such an amazing, amazing kisser.” I whispered after we stopped kissing.
“So are you, you know what this means right?” He asked while I opened my eyes.
“What?” I asked while I started smiling.
“We’re courting now.” He said making me so happy that I couldn’t even think, I had never been that happy in my life.
“Perfect day, perfect date, perfect guy, this is a perfect night, I don’t want it to end.” I said while I started crying again.
“Neither do I, I have the perfect girl, you’re so beautiful.” He said while he wiped my tears.
“I’m so happy.” I said.
“Good, I love making you happy because I absolutely love your smile.” He said before he kissed me again.
After we stopped kissing, I took his hand and slid my fingers between his massive fingers. I pulled myself against him and picked up my golf club. After that, the game was pretty much over because we could not stop kissing no matter how much we tried. It’s probably a good thing that there weren’t many people there because it took us forever to get through that whole thing, that’s how much we kissed. After that, he and I went to the go cart track and raced each other and a bunch of other people. Then we went to the movies together, and that’s when I knew that we would be kissing a lot, and believe me, I was excited about that because Mason was that good of a kisser, he was incredible! When we got in the theater, I was holding his hand and I watched him lift an arm rest so we could cuddle while we watched the movie. We sat down and I laid against my boyfriend, god I was so so happy! After a few minutes, he got up and kissed me before he went to get us some drinks, I kinda wanted one because I was thirsty and because I knew that I was going to be kissing him a lot. While I sat there waiting for my boyfriend, one of my cousins walked up and sat next to me, she went on a date with Mason too, her name was Lindy.
“Kaylee, you look really cute!” She said.
“I didn’t chose this outfit, mom did.” I said.
“I know, my mom and I helped her pick it out, you look really really cute. Your boobs look great in that shirt.” She said.
“Thanks.” I said while I laughed.
“So is that Mason?” She asked.
“Yep.” I said with the worlds biggest smile.
“Are you serious?” She asked.
“Yeah, he’s gorgeous isn’t he?” I asked.
“How the hell did you get him to hold your hand?!” She asked with excitement.
“We’ve been best friends for a long time, that and I have been in love with him for a while.” I said.
“Is he in love with you too?” She asked.
“Yes he is, he’s been in love with me for the last few months, he told me.” I gushed because I was so happy.
“Oh my god you are ssssoooo so glowing, look at you! Are you guys courting now?” She asked making me smile so big that it hurt.
“Oh my god you are! Oh my god I’m so happy for you!” She all but squealed quietly before she hugged me.
“How do you know?” I asked.
“Well duh, you’re glowing like crazy, we’ve known each other all of our lives and I’ve never seen you this happy before, so how long have you been courting?” She asked.
“We started courting tonight.” I said.
“Aaaawwwwww! I’m so so happy for you oh my god!” She said.
“So am I, he’s so so amazing.” I said.
“Aaaaawwww! Has he kissed you?” She asked making me smile even bigger.
“Oh my god he has, how was it?” She asked.
“Amazing.” I said.
“Is he a good kisser?” She asked.
“Yeah he is, he’s a really really good kisser.” I said.
“Oh my god so so many girls are going to be so jealous of you Kaylee, I’m jealous. He went on so many dates that it’s not funny and you go on one date with your best friend and walah, you two are courting. So what number was he on your list?” She asked.
“Number one.” I said with excitement.
“Well, there’s your boyfriend now, you are the luckiest girl ever I swear. Of all the girls he’s been out with, the tree chose you. I can’t tell you how happy I am for you.” She said making me cry a little.
“Thank you.” I said.
“I better get back to my date, boo.” She said.
“Hey Lindy.” Mason said while he walked up to us.
“Hey Tree, how are you?” She asked making my Mason smile so big.
“I’m great actually.” He said with that amazing smile.
“Congratulations on your new courtship, I’m seriously happy for you two, you guys look disgustingly cute together.” She said.
“Thank you.” We both said.
“I’m serious, you guys are an amazingly gorgeous couple. I have to go back to my date so you guys have fun. Try to watch some of the movie.” She said.
“It’s going to be difficult.” I said with a giggle.
“Well, I don’t blame you at all, have fun girl.” She said while she hugged me.
After she went back to her date, my boyfriend sat back down and kissed me. After we stopped kissing, I laid against him and he put one arm around me and slid his big fingers between mine, and I slid my fingers on my other hand between his fingers of his other hand. I could not believe how in love I was with him, it’s like he consumed me in every way! When the movie started, I looked up at him and watched him, I was beside myself and I almost couldn’t believe that my best friend was actually my boyfriend! We were finally courting! I reached up and kissed his chin and couldn’t stop kissing his gorgeous manly face. I let go of his hand and l lifted myself up and kissed his face closer and closer to his mouth. I kissed the corner of his mouth, but then I felt him turn his head and slowly slide his tongue in my mouth. I was gone after that. I was almost looking straight up while he and I kissed over and over and over and over again. I was in heaven! We ended up kissing through most if not all of that movie, god it was so so amazing, I think we were pretty much making out the whole time!
After the movie, we went and got ice cream and we kissed at every single stop light and stop sign. When we got to the ice cream shop we sat in his car and kissed for the longest time, and when we stopped kissing, he took me in and we got our ice cream. We talked about us, we talked about what our future might be like together. Then he said something that made me fall even deeper in love with him, but it also made me know that I wanted to be his first wife for sure. I told him that if we ever got married, that I wanted to finish high school and I wanted to go to college. Girls were never allowed to go to college and have a career in the order, all we were allowed to do was get married and have babies, only work the jobs that the order gave us, cook, clean and raise our kids and that’s it. But Mason looked at me and said that he would let me go to school. He said that he would let me go to college and if we were married, he would work to support me and help with school tuition. He said that no matter what I did, he was going to be unlike any of the men in the order, he promised himself that he would never be like them! He also told me that if he married other women that he would get in trouble because they’d only see him on their wedding day and that was it. He said that they’d never have kids with him either, and when I asked him why, he said something that made me fall so so hard for him that I almost started crying. He said that he only wanted me, he only wanted to be with me and that was it. The other wives he would marry wouldn’t be me so they’d never see him again because he’d come right back to me.
He said that he would only marry other wives just so we could stay in the order and be with our families, no other reason at all. But then he said that what he would really want to do, is take me and run away with me. He would marry me and when I graduated from high school, he would take me and run away so he didn’t have to even worry about having to be with another woman. He’d get a good job and help me pay for college and let me have a career, a career that I wanted to have. I would get to do what ever I wanted and he wouldn’t care what the order thought. That goes COMPLETELY against everything the order teaches I know, but I don’t think you will ever understand how deeply and how hard I fell for Mason after he said all of that. I mean, I was already like, madly in love with him, but after that conversation, I don’t know, I didn’t think it was even close to being possible to fall as deeply in love with a guy as I fell for him that night. He would risk everything just so he could be with me and me alone. I heard every word he said, but I knew, I knew for a fact that he meant every word he said because I could feel it. I knew right then and there that he was the one, he was most definitely going to be my husband!
I couldn’t get any closer to him if I wanted when we got done eating ice cream, I mean, I had to feel him against me at all times. My skin kinda burned, that’s how bad I needed to be against him in some way. When we walked to his car, I was all over him, I could not break away from him no matter how hard I tried. When we got to his car, he kinda turned me so I was facing him, pushed me against his car gently and slid his tasty tongue in my mouth and kissed me. I don’t know what came over me, all I know was that the world was spinning and I was pretty much gone. I pulled him against me and stood on my toes and wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. It was the most passionate, gentle kiss of the whole night. He kissed me like he loved me, like he loved me more than anything else in the world. I couldn’t help but pull his body against mine and hold onto him while we kissed so so many times. After a long time and many amazing kisses, we stopped and stood there so we could catch our breaths. Then he opened my door for me and I got in, then he got in and kissed me again before he started to drive me home. And like before, he would kiss me, and I would kiss him at every single stop light and stop sign. I was so so bummed when we got to my house because I didn’t want to be without him, I already missed him really really bad. When we got to my door, I turned around so I could face him and looked up in his eyes right when he brushed my hair out of mine.
“Thank you for the best night of my life baby.” He said while I backed against the house and pulled him against me.
“You’re welcome, thank you for making me the happiest girl in the world.” I said.
“Sleep sweet.” He said.
“Dream of me baby.” I said.
“I will keep dreaming of you.” He said while he caressed my face and I caressed his.
“I’ll keep dreaming of you too.” I said.
“I can’t believe that we are actually courting now.” He said.
“Oh my god I know right?” I asked.
“I’ve wanted to court you for a long time.” He said.
“Me too, I’ve wanted to court you for like, ever.” I said.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked.
“Look who’s talking, you never told me either.” I said with a giggle.
“We are best friends and we didn’t want to ruin that.” He said.
“Exactly. I guess we were both dumb because we both felt the same way about each other.” I said.
“Yeah, we are pretty stupid for being scared.” He said making me laugh.
“It’s almost midnight, I really really really don’t want you to go, I want you to stay here with me.” I said.
“I don’t wanna go home either, I want this to last longer.” He said.
“I know.” I said.
“I don’t want to get you in trouble and I wanna see you again since you’re my girlfriend now so I can’t get us in trouble.” He said.
“Call me when you get home.” I said.
“I will, god you’re so damn beautiful.” He said.
“I love that you can’t stop telling me that.” I said with the worlds biggest smile.
“Good because you’re going to hear it more often.” He said.
He cradled the back of my head gently and and leaned down, then he pressed his soft lips against my lower lip while I put my hand on his face gently and kissed him back. This time I turned my head and slid my tongue in his mouth again, and we stood there kissing over and over again. After the longest time of the night just kissing, we finally stopped kissing and stood there trying to catch our breaths again. I rested my head against his body because I was shaking and my knees were so weak. I loved how I felt while I was in his arms, and I didn’t want him to let me go.
“Better get inside so you don’t get in trouble. Good night.” He said.
“Good night.” I said.
“Kaylee.” He said while he leaned down and looked so deep in my eyes that I could feel his energy.
“Yes Mason.” I said.
“I love you.” He said making me start crying again.
“I love you Mason, I love you.” I said.
He kissed me with no tongue, but it was the softest kiss ever, and he held it for a long time. After he kissed me he looked at me in my eyes.
“I love you, good night.” He said.
“I love you too baby, don’t forget to call me when you get home.” I said.
After I kissed him, he put my cowgirl hat back on my head and I stood there and watched my very first real and true love walk away and get in his car and drive away. I floated into the house, went to my room and twirled around and just fell backwards on my bed with the biggest smile on my face and laid there for the longest time thinking about my boyfriend. I didn’t even notice that mom was up and in my room.
“How did it go?” Mom asked snapping me back to reality.
I couldn’t talk, I just sat up and looked at her and started crying.
“What happened?” Mom asked while she came to me and hugged me.
“I’m so so sorry baby, do you wanna talk about it?” She asked while I hugged her and cried.
“I miss him.” I said while I cried.
“You what?” She asked.
“I miss Mason, I miss him.” I said.
“You were just with him.” Mom said.
“I know mom, but I’m ssssooo so in love with him.” I said.
“You’ve been in love with him for a long time sweetheart.” Mom said.
“I know.” I said while I backed off and looked in her eyes.
“It’s obvious sweetheart, you have been worshiping the ground he walks on for the last few months. You’ve been eating sleeping and breathing Tree, he’s all you have been talking about. I see how you look at him, how you talk to him and touch him, it’s hard to miss the fact that you’ve been in love with him all this time.” Mom said.
“After tonight, it’s so so much stronger mom, I love him, I wanna be with him forever.” I said.
“Is he in love with you?” She asked.
I started crying again and nodded my head yes while I looked her in the eyes.
“Are you serious?!” Mom gasped while she got all kinds of excited making me nod my head yes.
“Did he tell you that he was in love with you?” She asked making me nod my head yes again.
“Oh my god! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yyyyyyeeeeessss!” Mom screamed while she jumped up as started to hop around the room.
“Mom, calm down, you’re going to wake everyone else up.” I said while I laughed.
“So does this mean that you two are courting now?!” Mom asked making me nod my head yes.
“Officially, he’s my boyfriend officially.” I said while I nodded.
“WOOOOOHOOO!!! YYYYYEEESSS!” Mom screamed while she kinda sprinted in one spot and pumped her fists.
“Mom, you’re being like, really loud.” I said while I laughed.
All of a sudden, I could hear all of my sisters getting up and coming to my room to find out what was going on.
“So did he like your outfit?” Mom asked.
“Honestly mom, I don’t think this outfit would have made any difference, I think that if I wore my regular clothes tonight Mason and I would still be courting right now.” I said.
“Did he like it though?” She asked.
“Yeah, I think he did.” I said.
“Did he look at your boobs?” She asked.
“Yeah he did but I mean, he’s a guy so what do you expect when they’re all hanging out like this?” I asked.
“What the heck is going on?” My 11 year old sister Jessie asked.
“Well, your sister here has a boyfriend now, she’s courting a really handsome guy.” Mom bragged.
“Who’s the guy?” Janell asked while she walked in my room.
“Mason.” I said with the worlds biggest smile.
“NNNNNNNNNOOO WAY!! Are you serious?!” Lauren asked.
“Yes I’m serious, we are in love.” I said.
The next thing I knew was that I had four girls screaming and jumping around in my room.
“Guys, guys be quiet, he’s calling me.” I said while I took my phone and answered.
“Hey handsome.” I said.
“Hey beautiful, I just wanted to let you know that I’m home.” He said.
“I miss you.” I said while I started crying.
“Oh god I miss you too, I miss you bad.” He said.
“My mom and sisters are in my room, can I call you back?” I asked.
“Of course you can, I’m your boyfriend and we are courting now remember?” He asked making me smile.
“Yes, I just like hearing that.” I said.
“I’ll be waiting for your call, I love you.” He said.
“I love you too baby.” I said.
“AAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW!!!” My mom and sisters yelled before we could hang up.
“They’re all being like, thee biggest dorks ever right now.” I said while I laughed.
“Yeah they are, at least they’re happy for you.” He said while he laughed.
“Not as happy as I am, I’ll talk to you soon, I love you Mason.” I said.
“I love you too baby, talk to you soon.” He said before he kissed his phone and we hung up.
My mom and sisters were so excited that they all stayed up till almost five in the morning with me talking about my date with Mason. The next day he surprised me by coming over to see me and mom let us hang out in the basement. We kissed a lot and almost non stop, I love love loved that he liked kissing as much as I did. That Monday I was excited to go to school because I got to see him, I mean, I was sssooo in love with him. And when I got to school, he was waiting for me. I couldn’t help but kiss him right in front of everyone! He was officially mine and I loved that everyone noticed. He and I kissed a lot, and the best part of it all, was that neither one of us had to date anyone again. He was mine officially and I was his.
We courted for a while and to be honest I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. My relationship with Mason was perfect and it always felt like we just started courting. We kissed a lot and spent a lot of time together alone and mom even had us have pictures done together and stuff. It wasn’t very long after I turned 15 that something happened and it turned my entire world upside down and as I saw it, it ruined my life, it destroyed me and it made me start to seriously question everything about the order. I don’t know how to tell you how deeply I was in love with Mason, all I know was that he was my everything, and I knew for a fact and without a doubt that I was his everything. Everything he ever did, he would always check with me and make sure that it wasn’t going to affect me in a bad way. He was the most amazing man I had ever met in my life. He was incredibly respectful to me even when he got mad at me, he was most definitely not like any of the men and boys in the order. He never ever raised his voice to me, nor did he ever lay his hands on me in an abusive way. He never, ever called me out of my name, and he wouldn’t let anyone else do it either. One guy called me a little slut once and he didn’t know that Mason was right there. He got beat up so bad that he couldn’t come to school for a long time. There was no other Mason, he was it, no other guy could ever compare to him.
Anyway, it happened after my 15th birthday and we had been courting seriously for about four almost five months. We were already talking about getting married and the orders highers all gave us their blessings, they approved it all. I was way beyond happy because I was so in love with Mason, that my whole being just craved him. Remember our first date, yeah, it was like that with him all the time, and I mean every single day it was like that. If we got mad each other, we fought to fix whatever problem we had because we both wanted to be together for the rest of our lives. Well, one day he and I went on a date like we did almost every single weekend and we had an amazing time, and then he had me home by midnight. That night he didn’t call me like he usually did and I started to worry. I called his phone so many times and I texted him and didn’t get any calls or texts back at all. I started to think the worst and I started going crazy.
He didn’t call the next day, and he didn’t text me at all that whole day even though I was blowing his phone up. Then that day turned into a week, then that week turned into month, and then it went longer and longer. I was beyond devastated because like I said, I was so deeply in love with him, he was my everything and he was my very first real and true love. I imagined myself being with him and I imagined being his first wife and that was going to be a reality because we were planning our marriage out, and now he was gone. I got really depressed because the one guy I wanted to be with was gone, and no one knew what happened. I sobbed so hard for so long that I was sore all the time, I was depressed as hell. I felt so so sick for the longest time and I would break down and cry at any time. If I heard a song that made me think about Mason, I would break down and cry. I stopped eating all together, I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t sleep. My mom and sisters would crawl into bed with me and hold me while I sobbed. They started to worry about me because I was loosing so much weight. If I did eat, I would throw it all up, and not because I made myself throw up, it was because I missed my first lover, we were going to get married.
It wasn’t until a couple of months after my first love vanished that I found out what happened to him. I needed answers and I needed them now because I wasn’t going to be able to live until I got some kind of closure. It was at night when dad came home and I heard him and mom talking about him. I heard his name so I went down the stairs and sat on them to listen to dad. I found out that the night that Mason and I went on that last date, he got home to find his step dad beating his mom, the orders “celebrity” and his sisters and he wasn’t going to let that happen. To make a long story short, he ended up beating his step dad up so bad that he ended having to go to the hospital and Mason was arrested and taken to jail. Dad was pissed because they dropped all of the charges against Mason and his step dad was arrested because two of his sisters told the truth about what happened. But since the charges were dropped against Mason, he was kicked out of the order and was now living on the outside. He no longer had family, he no longer had anyone around for him not even me, he was on his own. When I heard that I started to sob, my first real and true love was gone for good and I don’t think you’ll ever understand how much that hurt.
What I heard next made me so mad at dad that it made me sick, I found out why Mason was so huge and big boned. I only know that because dad said “it was for the better anyway because he was contaminated by another race.” That’s what he said word for word. Apparently Mason was half Hawaiian and he had no idea, none. Mom even asked dad why he didn’t have brown skin like some of the Hawaiians she had seen before, and that’s when I found out that there are white skinned Hawaiians that had red hair. That explained why he had natural red highlights and streaks in his hair, it explained why he had white skin like me, only he wasn’t transparent like me, and it explained why he was so tall and big. Dad said that he drove Mason out of town in his car and just dropped him off and another order member picked him up and brought him back. So now my first pick, and the guy I was in the process of planning to marry was gone for good, and my dad was the one who took him away from me. I hated that there was nothing I could do about any of what happened at all. I couldn’t sit there and listen to what dad was saying anymore because he was saying some of the most hateful things about Mason and no one talks about my lover like that. So I went to down the stairs and looked at him.
“Is it true?” I asked while I shook because I was ssssoooo so mad.
“Is what true.” Dad asked while he looked at me with a dumb look on his face.
“Is it true that you guys took him away from me?” I asked.
“Hun, I swear I didn’t have anything to do with that.” Mom said.
“I know you didn’t, I’m asking dad since he’s a higher.” I said.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said.
“Yes I do dad, I’ve been sitting right there listening to you this whole time.” I said while I pointed at the stairs.
“Are you calling me a liar?” He asked.
“Yes I am.” I said making him stand up and get in my face.
“Go ahead, go ahead and hit me, it’s not like you haven’t beat me up before so hit me.” I said while I looked in his eyes making him look at me all surprise.
“Yes it’s true, I took him away because we can’t have men who beat their fathers up in the order, we can’t.” He said.
“But it’s ok for men to hit women and children am I right?” I asked.
“You listen to me young lady, you better watch your yourself.” He said.
“Did you know that he never hit me? Did you? Did you know that he was an amazing man, did you know that I am in love with him? I love him dad, I was going to marry him and you ruined all of that, you ruined my life!” I said raising my voice while I did.
“We did it for you.” He said.
“You took the love of my life away from me for me?! He was my life, my life dad, he was my life, and you took that away from me.” I said while I started sobbing.
“It’s for the better.” He said while he tried to hug me.
“Don’t touch me, you stay away from me. I hate you, I hate you so much!” I said.
“It’s for the better because he was contaminated by another race anyway.” He said.
“I don’t care, that wouldn’t have changed the fact that I love him.” I said through sobs.
“I know you love him Kaylee, I do, but you have to unders…” He said while I interrupted him.
“But you don’t care, and don’t tell me that you do because you proved to me that you don’t. You know that I’m in love with him and that I was going to be his first wife. You weren’t thinking about me at all, I mean look at me dad! I’m a mess, I haven’t eaten anything for a long time because my life was taken away from me by you guys, you! This is your fault, this is your fault and I blame you! I will never forgive you for this, I hate you!” I screamed and sobbed.
I started to run to my room but he grabbed my arm and held me in place.
“Let go of me, let go of me now! I hate you, do you get it? I fucking hate you! Get off of me and leave me alone!” I screamed.
He let go of me and I ran to my room, got on my bed and curled up in a ball and sobbed so hard that I couldn’t breath. My sisters came into my room and laid in my bed with me and held me while I sobbed and after a while, mom came in and made the girls leave. She laid in my bed and held me.
“I’m so so sorry, I’m so sorry baby.” She said while she held me.
I was pissed but I wasn’t sure who I wasn’t really sure who I should be pissed of with so I was confused also. I didn’t know if I was suppose to be pissed off with Mason or his dad. Was I suppose to be pissed of with his dad for beating up his wife and two of his daughters? I was genuinely confused about that because it happened a lot with my mom and my dad. I had been beaten by my dad a few times too, but it was never as bad as it was with Masons mom and sisters, and trust me it was pretty bad. From what I heard they had to have three ambulances go to that house. One of Masons younger sisters, she wasn’t that old at all, I think she was five or six, had some broken bones. The youngest who wasn’t even a year old was taken out of his moms arms and thrown against a wall. His four year old sister was kicked in the head several times, and that’s when his dad, my uncle, went after his mom again right when Mason got home from our date, he walked right into it. Some say that it was because he was a mixed race that he just lost it and started to beat the crap out of his step dad, but he didn’t just beat him up, he really messed him up. If I was his dad, I would have been terrified to look up and see a huge tree trunk coming at me like Mason did him. Like I said, he was not a small guy like, at all. I’m not sure how long it was after the big fight that Mason and his step dad had, that his dad called the police and had him arrested but I think it was while he was in the hospital. But when the charges against the boy that was going to be my husband were dropped, he disappeared and just dropped off the face of the planet. So I wasn’t sure if I should be pissed off at his dad for beating Masons mom and sisters.
I wasn’t sure if I was suppose to be pissed off with Mason because it was normal for that kind of thing to happen, at least that’s what I thought. That’s how men kept their wives and kids under control, they beat them when they messed up. So to me at the time, he was suppose to just not do anything about the beatings, but at the same time, I might have done the same thing. I was devastated because the one guy that I was was deeply in love with, the one I was going to marry for sure was gone. Now I was going to be stuck with cousins that I didn’t know, I was stuck with whoever else there was left wether it was going to be one of my old uncles or one of my other cousins. I was stuck with what I had left and I didn’t have any more good choices. Mason loved me, I know he did because I could see it in his eyes when he told me how much he loved me. And now because of what he did, he was gone. So as you can see, I was pretty confused. After that, I told mom that I didn’t want to date anyone anymore, at least not for a long time. I was numb, that’s the only way that I can really describe it. I didn’t care anymore about anything or anyone, I was pretty much done with all of it. I spent days in bed and mom even called the school and kept me home for a whole week. And when I did go back to school, I sobbed a lot for a long time because everything I saw, made me think of my Mason.
I was 15 then, but I didn’t start dating again until I was 17, that’s how much I loved Mason, it took me two years to get to where I wouldn’t cry when I thought about him, I still missed him and I still loved him so so much. I was still numb and done with everything, so I only went on those dates because I had to and I told the boys that. They made fun of me because I was doing exactly what Mason did to their sisters, but it was true. I didn’t want to be on those dates with them, I wanted to be on a date with Mason, we’d be married by then too, he literally would have been my husband. I hated the dates with my uncles, especially the date with the one that Mason almost killed. He was an ass. He was rude and so arrogant and so full of himself, he wasn’t humble at all, that and he was gross so I had the worst time ever. It wasn’t until I was almost 18 years old that I finally met a guy I liked and yes he was on my list. He was my first cousin and he was kinda cute, but he wasn’t as cute as Mason was, not even close. He was a lot of fun, and he was pretty respectful, not like Mason, but he was respectful. As you can see, I compared all of the boys I dated to Mason and since I couldn’t have Mason, I was going to find someone that was as close to him as I could find. Timothy was his name, he was taller than me, he was 5’11, and he had brown hair minus the red highlights and streaks. He wasn’t Mason, but he was pretty close.
When mom found out that I was comparing Tim to Mason all the time, I got into so much trouble, I was taken before the church counsel and everything. I was punished, and that punishment was that I wasn’t allowed to date anyone for a while not even Tim. But not only that, I had to spend a week in a house where an order member was a psychologist to get “thought reconditioning therapy”, that’s what they called it. During all of that, I was brain washed, that’s the only way I know how to explain it. It was beaten into my head that Mason was no good, that he was tainted by another race and because of that, he was evil. According to them, that was why he beat the crap out of his dad and no other reason at all, that’s all they had. There was no acknowledgement of the fact that my uncle almost killed Masons mom, a baby and two young girls before Mason beat him up, none. Not to mention the fact that he was my cousin, so yeah, he was my blood relative but they conveniently forgot all about that too. It was all about how he was possessed and filled with satan, how his other race was what filled him with evil. It was all about how I was better off without him because I would have been killed by him. He was going to be abusive and that he was going to beat me all of the time, which I found pretty ironic since physical, mental and sexual abuse was the norm in the order. They wanted me to be “safe from him” so they banished him from the order to save my life. That’s what they kept telling me.
Here is what’s sad, I didn’t buy any of that crap because I knew Mason really really good, they didn’t, besides, I was so in love with him that there was no way that they could convince me no matter how hard they tried. He wasn’t abusive, he was very respectful and he was the sweetest guy ever, he was amazing to me and he was very gentle. Every girl he dated said the same thing about him, so they never bought all of those lies either. They tried to convince me, but they failed because I knew Mason far better than they realized. He was eighteen, and I was fourteen when we fell in love with each other. All of the girls that he went on dates with, also knew that he was a great guy, so you can’t tell me that hundreds of girls all lied about him. What I ended up doing was I just pretended to hate Mason, I had to or they wouldn’t take me off of punishment. Once they were convinced that I was convinced, they let me start seeing Tim again and we started dating.
I never forgot Mason and truthfully, I didn’t think I ever would. He was my best friend and of all of the boys I hung out with he was by far the most handsome, he was the most respectful and he knew how to treat a lady. As far as him being “contaminated” by another race, I didn’t think it was bad because it was obvious that he had it in his genes as far as treating girls, he treated me like a queen, a princess. I never had any of that with Tim at all, it was just kind of a blah relationship. It didn’t have anything that my relationship with Mason had at all, not even close, plus Tim wasn’t as good at kissing as Mason was in fact, he was terrible compared to Mason. I didn’t like kissing Tim because of it. The chemistry that Mason and I had basically burned him and my love and feelings for him into my memory and into my soul I guess, he was part of me, he was my other half and I think that’s why I say that I will never forget him. It didn’t matter how hard I tried, I was never able to stop comparing Tim to Mason. Messed up I know, but what makes it even worse was that I was kind of in love with Tim, and he was in love with me. He was going to be my husband, a husband that was chosen for me. I still didn’t feel the connection with him like I did with Mason at all, my feelings for Tim paled in comparison to the ones I still had for my first real and true love. The love and connection between us wasn’t anything like it was with Mason, not even close.
Do you know how when you meet a really really cute boy and there is some serious chemistry? How you’re so attracted to him that every time you see him under any circumstances you get the biggest butterflies? You feel sick to your stomach, you feel nauseous when you don’t see him for a day or more? How you dream about him, how you smile just at the very thought of him? Do you know how he makes you so nervous that you can’t think straight so you stutter when you try to talk to him? How your senses just go into hyperdrive when you smell him, hear him taste his kisses and feel his touch? Do you know how it is when he looks at you and your knees just get weak, how your palms start sweating and how you just can’t help but smile so much that your cheeks hurt? Do you know how he looks into your eyes and you feel dizzy, you feel warm, you feel like everything around you disappears because you get lost in him? Do you know how it feels when you want to be with someone so bad that your body hurts when he’s not around? How it literally aches and every joint hurts? And when you see him after a while, you’re flooded with happiness, with peace, you get chills and your ears feel warm? Do you know how it feels to be around someone that made you feel secure, feel like you can be yourself and he accepts that, how safe you feel from anyone, and feel loved? Yes I loved Tim and we were going to get married, but everything I mentioned above, I never felt that with him at all, not even a little bit, I felt it with Mason, I felt all of that with Mason. Mason and I were best friends before I fell so deeply in love with him that he consumed every part of me. And that was I was how felt around him all the time. It made me weak, and it turned me into a puddle of mush.
I wanted all of that with Tim because I was in love with him, but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t feel any of it with him. I’ll be honest, I actually started to question my relationship with him because of it. But like, we were already engaged and we had already set a date for our wedding. I was so hoping that Mason wouldn’t come to my wedding because if he did come, I wouldn’t marry Tim, I wouldn’t be able to. I was 18, and on my wedding day, I realized that I was still deeply deeply in love with Mason. He was a thousand times cuter than Tim will ever be, and he was still burned into my memories, he was burned into me basically. I hated that he was gone, and I hated that he wasn’t the one I was getting married to. But Tim was about to become my husband, so I had to fight to forget about him, and trust me, it was not easy like, at all. My wedding day was a mixture of happiness and sadness and I just told you why. I was finally able to stop thinking about Mason on my wedding day because my mom and my sisters all came in with the hair dresser. They all helped me get ready for my big day, and after a while, I was married, I had a husband that I realized that I didn’t love at all.
Our honeymoon was a lot of fun, and that was the night that we both lost our virginities to each other. I’ll be honest, it was most definitely not what it was made out to be. It was awkward and it hurt. It did get better with time I’ll be honest but it was never anything like what I heard it could be like. Sex was still a lot of fun though, well, at least it was at first, and yes it did feel pretty good, but it was always about him getting off and me getting pregnant and having a baby to “build the kingdom of God.” I did have a time limit so I had to get pregnant fast. I just didn’t like the fact that I didn’t enjoy sex as much as I thought I would. He would put his penis in me, have sex with me for a few minutes while I just laid there, because that’s all he wanted me to do, and him shooting his cum inside of me. That’s how it was all the time and it was getting really boring and it sucked. I mean, it felt good, it did, but it was always about him and that was it. And after a while, I started to not look forward to having sex anymore because I wasn’t even attracted to my husband. It was a chore for me and that was it. I didn’t even know what an orgasm was at all, and I think it was because I never had one. I mean I thought I did, but I didn’t know.
It was only like, a week after we got married that Tim started to show his true colors. He started by becoming very verbally abusive, and that continued for a long time. Less than a month after we got married, he started to hit me in places that bruises would never show, and he did it just for fun. He would actually laugh while he hit me really hard. He kept doing all of that until I was all but broken down, I no longer had any self worth and I started to see myself as being really ugly. I mean, after hearing some one tell you that you’re a worthless ugly whore every waking moment, you start to believe them. Because of that, I felt ugly as hell, and I felt worthless, and sex, wasn’t any fun anymore. It got to where I hated it, and we had to use lube so it wouldn’t hurt me anymore. When it felt really good to me, I would moan, and the only thing Tim would say was, “shut the fuck up”. After a while of trying, I did get pregnant and I thought that after I got pregnant that he would calm down and he wouldn’t hit me anymore, well, I was wrong. He started to hit me more and he started to choke me. Then one day, it got really really bad, I was two months along. It was on a day that I left a dirty dish in the sink. He confronted me about it and started to yell and cuss at me, well, I started to defend myself and the next thing I knew, was that I saw his fist coming and then I was out. When I came to, he was kicking me in my stomach and chest. I was scared to death and I tried to curl up into a ball to protect my unborn child, but when I did, he kicked me in the face, I heard a loud pop and everything went dark. When I came to, Tim was gone and I was hurting so bad that I couldn’t move, but I somehow made it to the phone and called 911. I was taken to the hospital where I was met by Tims dad, who proceeded to threaten me that if I told on his son, that he would make my life a living hell, that he would destroy me. So, to protect myself and the baby, I lied about my injuries and how I got them, and after a week of being in the hospital, I was released to go home.
Things were way different after that. I no longer did things for Tim because I loved him, I did them because I was really scared of him. I was no longer in love with Tim at all like, not even a little bit, I hated him. I tried to act like everything was normal and that I did love him, but I was scared to death of him because he would beat me up almost every day. And sometimes I had to be taken to the hospital because he nocked me out or choked me until I passed out. He started to court another girl, and I knew he did because he brought her home so I could meet her. I cooked her dinner and tried to act happy and excited that she could very well be my husbands second wife. I must have been convincing because she liked me and he seemed happy about that. A month later, she broke up with him and when she did, he blamed me. He came home from a date with her and seemed distant. I tried to figure out what was wrong because all I was trying to do was help him, but he went off and started yelling and cussing at me. He called me horrible things. He started to slap me around and I begged him to stop and all that did was make things worse. He started to punch me again, then he choked me and he started to hit me with something, I don’t even know what it was. It was something big and it was metal and it hurt really really bad, I could even hear this like, pinging noise so I thought it could be his baseball bat. I begged and pleaded for him to stop, and I even begged him to stop so he wouldn’t hurt the baby.
“I don’t give a fuck about that fucking baby, it’s probably not even my baby anyway you fucking whore!” He yelled before he grabbed me by my neck and started choking me while he punched me in my stomach.
“You ruined my chances with that girl you fucking bitch!” He yelled while he shoved me by my neck.
“What did I do?” I sobbed while I tried to block his hits.
“You know damn good and well what you did you fucking cunt!” He yelled while he hit me so hard that I fell down.
“Get up, GET..UP!” He screamed while I struggled to get up.
“Please Tim, I didn’t do anything! Please!” I pleaded.
“Maybe you should go out there and find Mason and ruin his life like you did mine!” He yelled right before he picked up a chair and hit me with it.
“Tim please stop, I didn’t do anything!” I pleaded just before he punched me.
“Yes you did you fucking bitch! I told you to never talk to Ellie and you did, didn’t you?” He yelled before he slammed me against the wall and punched me in my face.
“I never talk to her, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I pleaded before I felt him punch my face again.
I could feel my blood running down my face and it was getting in my eyes and in my mouth. My hair was sticking to my bloody face and he kept hitting me.
“You’re a fucking liar, you’re a lying fucking cunt and you’re going to pay for what you did!” He yelled while he kept hitting me.
I tried to cower down and when I did, I started to slide down the wall. He kneed me in my stomach and chest before he grabbed me by my hair and kneed me in my face making me scream in pain and when he did that I heard a loud pop.
“Tim please, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Tim, please stop, please.” I pleaded after he let me go.
I looked down and saw a whole bunch of blood dripping off of my face and head and it hurt and burned really really bad. I looked up at him and he was standing there, then out of no where, he kicked my head really hard shoving my head into the wall. My head actually went right through the wall, it hit that hard. I got really really dizzy and I tried to beg him to stop, but he didn’t. He kept hitting me and throwing me around and there was one time that I hit the ground so hard that I could hear several fast and loud pops and my arm started to hurt so bad, it was the worst pain ever! It was so bad that I screamed in pain. The next time he picked me up and body slammed me and when I hit the floor again, I heard another really loud pop and felt the worst pain in the world in my shoulder that went all up in my neck. He kicked me in my face again before he pulled my hair until I was standing up and started to knee my stomach as hard as he could. He was doing it so hard that I felt liquid coming out of my vagina, it was like my water broke. When I opened my eyes, I tried to plead with him again, but I was too late. He grabbed my neck violently and started to choke me. He never let go, or at least that’s what I thought anyway because he choked me until I passed out just like he did several times before. When I came too, I was in the worst pain I had ever experienced in my life and oh my god I was so so dizzy. I could barely move and I couldn’t see anything because my face was swollen so bad. I was going to scream out for help but I was afraid that if I did, Mason was going to kill me.
I laid there and pretended to be dead for a long time because I didn’t know if he was still there or not, and once I realized that he was gone, I knew I had to do something. I tried to move but it hurt so bad to do that, so I tried to see if I had my cell phone in my pocket and I found it so I pulled it out and tried to call 911. I don’t know how I did it, but I was able to get a hold of them, at least I hoped. All I remember was finding the numbers, I don’t know how, but I was able to see just long enough to do that. Right as my phone started to connect with the lady at 911, I passed out. When I woke up again, I had no idea where I was. All I know was that I was laying on something really hard and uncomfortable, something was around my neck, I had something on both sides of my head and I couldn’t move my head. I tried to look around and when I did, I realized that I still couldn’t see anything. My eyes were swollen shut, and I think my face was swollen too but I wasn’t sure, all I know was that it hurt and it burned really really bad. I tried to scream because I was hurting everywhere but I don’t even know if anyone could hear me. I know I started to gasp and cough because I couldn’t breath, but I was scared to death because I thought Tim was there to kill me, I really had no idea what was going on. I felt hands all over me, and I could hear people talking. Then I hear my husband talking very aggressively to one of the people that were helping me.
“We need to go, now.” A deep booming voice said.
“Yeah we do.” A lady said.
“Tree? What the fuck are you doing here?” I heard Tim ask.
“Helping my patient who is very critical.” I heard the deep booming voice say.
Then I heard Tim start barking orders on what he wanted the people to do to help me.
“Hey! Are you an EMT or a paramedic?” The deep booming voice asked.
“That’s my fucking wife.” Tim yelled.
“That wasn’t the question, the question was are you a paramedic or an EMT?” The voice asked forcefully.
“No I’m not, but that’s my fucking wife.” Tim replied trying to sound intimidating.
“Do you have any kind of medical training?” The booming voice asked.
“What the fuck does that have to do wi…” Tim yelled right as that booming voice cut him off.
“ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION, DO YOU HAVE ANY MEDICAL TRAINING YES OR NO?” The deep voice boomed when he yelled, it almost felt like what ever I was in vibrated when he yelled that.
“No I don’t.” Tim said.
“Then get the fuck off my truck, she’s very critical so we need to go now and I don’t want you on my rig.” The voice commanded with amazing authority.
“I’m not going anywhere she’s my wi..” Tim said as the voice interrupted him.
“Did you not get the part where I said that my patient is critical? Get the fuck off of my truck or I will remove you. You are hindering patient care.” The voice said.
“You can’t do that.” Tim said defiantly.
“Get him off of my truck, he is hindering patient care and we gotta go, we gotta go now.” The mans voice said.
“That’s his wife.” Another voice said, I think it was Tims dad.
“I don’t give a fuck who he is, he is hindering patient care and I want him off of my truck.” The voice said.
“Well let me ask you something Tree, do you have any medical training? Huh?” Tim asked arrogantly.
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t Einstein, you genius you.” The voice said with thee most sarcasm I have ever heard.
“You do see his uniform right?” A lady asked, she sounded like she was sitting to my left, the big, deep and booming voice was to my right.
“Well I don’t believe you I think you’re a lying piece of shit you’re probably lying. Why don’t you tell me Tree, what kind of medical training do you really have?” Tim asked arrogantly.
“I am a registered nurse and I’m a critical care paramedic, now get off of my fucking truck goddamn it!” The voice said.
“You really are a genius aren’t you?” The female asked at the same time.
“Fuck you both.” Tim said.
“Get off of my truck now, I’m not going to ask you again.” The man said.
“I’m not going anywhere so you both can just fuck off!” Tim yelled.
“If you don’t get off of my truck, it’s not going to work out so well for you.” The booming voice said while he kept doing stuff to me.
“Fuck you Tree you piece of shit.” Tim said.
“Hey officers, can you please get this guy off of my truck? We need to get going now because our patient is critical.” The voice asked like he was pissed off.
“What’s going on?” A lady asked.
“This gentleman is hindering patient care and refuses to get off of my truck, I want him off of my truck.” The booming voice said.
“Get out of the truck.” A man said.
“Fuck you, she’s my wife.” Tim said.
“That’s his wife.” His dad said.
“You need to get back.” The girl said.
“Get out of the truck or I’m going to taze you.” A man said.
“I can’t go to the hospital with my wife?!” He asked.
“You can go to the hospital but you’re not riding with them, the medic said no so get off of the truck.” The man said.
“This is bullshit.” Tim said.
“Can you close the doors please?” The booming voice asked before I heard some doors close.
After all of that, everything was just, fuzzy. While I laid there, they rolled me over and touched my whole body, I couldn’t help but think, I recognize that voice, and did Tim call him Tree?! MASON???! Right as I thought about the man that I still loved more than anything, they touched me several other places and I felt the most intense amount of pain. I heard that man say something about distention? I didn’t even know what that was. I tried to scream out but I’m not even sure if I was able to make any noise. All I know was that I was hurting everywhere. Mason would never do anything like this to me, I thought while they kept doing stuff to me. I don’t even remember the ride to the hospital, all I knew was that I was in and out for a long time, and I heard two sirens and air horns and that’s when I realized that 911 found me and I was on ambulance. I also heard the man with the voice that I swore was Masons by then, talking to a hospital on a radio, I think I heard him say, “trauma activation”. I made it to the hospital, and when we got there, I heard the man I hoped wasn’t Mason start talking to the doctors and nurses. I didn’t want Mason to know that I was the unrecognizable girl he was helping so I was hoping he wouldn’t know it was me, everything went so fast from there and I remember screaming and crying a lot. After a while, I was drugged so I didn’t have to feel the pain anymore. I don’t remember much after that.
After I don’t know how long, I woke up and had tubes and wires all over me and I had tiny tubes in my nose. I couldn’t move at all, but I saw my mom, she was there. Once I was kind of myself again, I found out that there were a lot of things wrong with me, but the worst thing ever, was that I lost my baby. I was four months along. They said that the baby was dead inside of me before the paramedics got to me and they had to take her out of me. Now I had been getting physically and verbally abused for over a year but I never so much as thought about leaving Tim because I was scared to death of him. But once I found out that I lost my baby because he beat me up so bad, I was done with him. The thing was that Tim and his dad showed up to the hospital and Tims dad threatened me again. And when they left, they forgot to have his sisters babysit me like they did the last few times. And once I knew it was safe, I called for a nurse and when she got there, I told her what happened. I told her that Tim was the one who put me there. They called the police, I filed a report and they took pictures of all of my injuries. I had well over a thousand stitches on my head, I had broken ribs, clavicle, arm and part of my head was broken too. I had bruised kidneys, my spleen had to be taken out, and I had a lot more internal injuries. I had to have surgery on my arm three times for them to fix it, I didn’t even know that I had a broken arm until I woke up and found pins and bars all over the outside of my arm. All of that on top of loosing my baby.
I filed charges against him, but so did the state, so while I was in the hospital, a few felony warrants were issued for Tims arrest. He was being charged with aggravated domestic battery, domestic violence, attempted murder because they were convinced that he was trying to kill me, and they were charging him with murder for the baby. I filed for a restraining order against Tim, his parents and anyone who was on Tims side, and they were all granted. I was in the hospital for a couple of months, and when I got out, mom came and took me home and she stayed with me, I was scared that Tim was going to come and kill me since they hadn’t found him yet and I didn’t want to be left alone. Mom was surprisingly amazing to me, she said that I gave her hope. After a few weeks, I started to feel a little safer, so my sisters came to see me, and they were really amazing too. One night I was laying in bed and was thinking about everything that happened to me, and thought, I have to get out of the order.
I had to for two reasons, one, it wasn’t safe for me, it wasn’t safe for any girl. Abuse was like, really bad through the whole order and I think all women were abused in some way. My husbands dad was still around and so were all of his brothers and sisters and there was no telling what they were planning on doing. That alone scared me to death because if they were capable of what Tim was, I was not safe. So, what I did was I started to figure out how I could get out of there. A few days after I was released from the hospital, I started to notice that I was being followed everywhere I went. I know I was being followed by people in the order, and I didn’t know why. It was after my beating and after I realized that I was being watched that my eyes were opening to everything that the order was about, what they were really about. And when I started to see the ugly truth, I started to feel like I absolutely had to get out, I had to run away and I felt a certain urgency behind it. It was as though I was suppose to get out, and I had to very, very soon. That urgency grew even more a week after I got my stitches taken out, but I had to stay because I had to have one more surgery on my arm, that was so they could take the pins, bolts and bars off of the outside of my arm. I had some in my arm too, but those were going to be there for the rest of my life. But after my last surgery, I went to moms house and helped her with stuff around her house as best as I could since I had a huge and heavy cast on my arm, but I wanted to feel safe. While I was there, the feeling of urgency got so strong that it was almost making me anxious. So when my mom and I sat down, I decided to tell her that I had to go.
“Mom, I have something I want to tell you.” I said.
“Is everything ok?” She asked.
“No mom and you know it.” I said.
“So what’s going on?” She asked.
“I’m leaving the order.” I said.
“You can’t do that and you know it hun.” She said.
“Well I can’t stay either mom, I can’t be a part of something that allows women to be treated the way we are treated.” I said.
“It’s not that bad hun.” Mom said.
“Not that bad?! Look at me mom! He put me in the hospital and this wasn’t the first time, I have some metal bars and screws in my arm that will be there for the rest of my life, and I can’t pee without it hurting plus he killed my baby mom, he killed my baby. How is it not that bad mom? The only way it’ll be better for me is if I left the order, there is no other way and you know it. And I’m filing for divorce, I do not want to be married to that monster.” I said.
“I never thought I would say this, and if the order finds out that I’m supporting you I could get into a lot of trouble. I don’t want you to leave the order, I don’t. But I want you to feel safe and after what Tim did to you, I don’t want you to stay. I’m scared for you.” She said making me look at her.
“I’m scared for me too mom.” I said.
She hugged me and we both started to cry. I was so happy that she was going to support me and that she was encouraging me to do that.
“Kaylee, I want you to listen to me really good. I know this is a really bad time for this I know, but I want you to hear me out on something.” Mom said.
“What mom.” I said thinking she was going to tell me that I needed to start dating more guys in the order.
“Stay here, I’m going to get something.” She said while she got up and walked to her room and she was gone for a minute.
While she was in her room, I heard her moving a bunch of things around and she was making a lot of noise. When she came back in the room, I saw her carrying a small red book, it was as big as the one I got on my fourteenth birthday.
“Mom, no.” I said while she sat down.
“Just take it.” Mom said.
“No mom, I don’t want a list, I don’t want to date anyone ESPECIALLY if it’s anyone from the order, I’d rather die than marry anyone or even date anyone in the order.” I said while I started to get mad.
“Kaylee stop.” Mom said.
“No mom, this is way too soon for one, and for two I do not want to date anyone fr…” I said while she interrupted me.
“Kaylee, I need you to take the book, please.” Mom pleaded calmly while she held it for me.
I took the small book from her even though I didn’t want to, and when I did, she started to cry.
“Open it.” She said.
“Mom, please don’t make me do this, I don’t want a list.” I said.
“Please just open the book.” Mom pleaded while she cried.
I opened the book and looked in it, nothing was written in it except for one name, and that name was written on all four pages, Mason James McCarthy. I stared at the name that was written over and over and over again, yes it sounds creepy, but for some reason I wasn’t creeped out by it at all. I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t know what to say, I just stared at the name that was written while I started to feel everything that I felt on my fourteenth birthday when I got my first list and saw him on it.
“He was different you know. He was not like any of the men that you had on your list before. Now I’ve talked to a lot of your aunts and they all told me something that I didn’t see until I started to pay attention to him. He was very independent and because of that he was rebellious. He hated that he had people making every single decision for him throughout his childhood, and because of that, he pulled away from his mom. He did that because he wanted to be the one to make decisions for himself. He didn’t want to follow the orders teachings by dating the girls that were chosen for him, he wanted to make that decision for himself. The only reason he did only date those that were chosen for him, was because they threatened him that if he didn’t do what he was told, he would loose his mom. That was until he found out that he was on your list, he had already chosen you, he chose you on his own. And that’s when he finally saw the girl he liked at school and waved at her, and the rest was history.
After I saw how he looked at you, and how you looked at him at your fourteenth birthday party and every day after that, I couldn’t help but think, he’s the one for her. You were glowing, I’ve never seen you smile like you did and I’ve never seen your eyes look the way they did when he came up to you. The look on your face when he hugged you told me something, it told me that I was right for making him number one on your list. I was jealous of how you just lit up and smiled every time he came to help you with your homework. I was jealous of how he treated you. You smiled non stop anytime he came around and it didn’t matter how short of a time he would be around you. I saw you in a way that I’ve never seen you or any of your sisters before and I was jealous. I was jealous because I wanted that for myself and I didn’t have that, I’ve never had that. I knew that there was no way that I would ever have that. But as happy and giddy as you were with him, I don’t even know kaylee, all I know was that was what I wanted for you.
After he got banished from the order for beating his dad up the way he did, the sorrow and pain in your eyes, it killed me. You looked hurt, you looked like something was taken from you. You didn’t eat, you didn’t sleep, you cried yourself to sleep every night for years, and you moped around the house for a long time. And ever since then, I have never seen you look at another man the way you looked at Mason ever again, not even Tim. The smile on your face was there, but the look in your eyes told a different story, and that’s when I knew. I knew you were still in love with Mason.” Mom said.
“I was mom, he was my first major crush and he was the first boy I ever fell in love with. I was still in love with him.” I said.
“I know. That’s why I did something while you were on your honeymoon, I just had this overwhelming feeling that I should make a new list and when I did that, this is what I did. Before I knew it, I had a book with Masons name in it and that was it. I hid that book, I was going to burn it but I just, I can’t explain it. I just got sick to my stomach and I didn’t know why, so I didn’t do it. I hid it instead and I never knew why I did that until today. All I knew was that somehow, you two were meant to be together. I know you were married to Tim, but I also knew somehow that he wasn’t meant for you. I can’t explain why and how, but I knew. That was all confirmed the day you were beaten within an inch of your life, that’s when I knew that you are suppose to be with Mason. Some how, the powers that be seem to insist on that.” Mom said.
“How? How did my beating confirm that I’m suppose to be with Mason?” I asked.
“Because he was the paramedic that came and saved your life.” Mom said giving me the worlds biggest chills.
The hair on the back of my neck stood up, but at the same time, I felt the most peaceful, warm and comforting feeling I had ever felt. I didn’t know what to say, I just sat there in shock.
“What?” I asked.
“The ambulances we have here in town were all gone, there was some big fire some where and they needed those ambulances. And since all of the others everywhere else were all at the same place, they had to send one from a city that’s not very close. Luckily, the ambulance that came to our city was close because they had to do a transfer. And it just so happened that Mason was the paramedic on that ambulance, and it’s been the talk of the the order and town ever since. Some say that he came down here to see if he could find you, others say that he was sent from God to find you. Either way, it was a big surprise to everyone, all I heard was that the cops got to your house first, then after the cops went in your house, the ambulance got there. And when the ambulance got there, they all watched Mason get out and they all watched while he saved your life.
Think about that for a minute Kaylee, he was number one on your list because I had a feeling that he was suppose to be. You guys had thee biggest sparks between the two of you, you two fall in love with each other and he kisses you. Then he disappears, and for almost three years, you refused to date anyone because you loved him. You get married, your husband almost kills you and he kills your baby, and all of a sudden, there he is. Mason comes back, not for very long, but he comes back and he saves your life, it’s a sign Kaylee.” Mom said.
I sat there and just stared at Masons name written in the book, I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know what to do so I just sat there in shock.
“Did he like, did he know it was me?” I asked.
“No, he didn’t, he didn’t have any idea because your whole face and head were swollen really bad. Plus you had a different last name so there was no way of knowing that it was you.” Mom said making me feel relieved, and really sad at the same time.
“Did you see him?” I asked.
“Yes I did, and I talked to him.” Mom said.
“What did you say?” I asked.
“I told him that he just saved my daughters life, that the girl he just saved, was you.” Mom said while she started to cry.
“What did he say?” I asked.
“He couldn’t say anything. All of the color drained from his face, he had to sit on the back of his ambulance and he started to throw up.” She said.
“Why?” I asked.
“I think it’s because he’s still in love with you. He wanted me to tell you how sorry he was for leaving you like he did. He says that he has regretted what he has done all of these years and that if he could take back what he did, he would have done it for one reason and one reason only, you.” Mom said.
“Can I make a confession?” I asked.
“Yes you can.” Mom said.
“Promise me that this stays between us.” I said.
“I promise.” I said.
“I’m serious mom because if anyone finds out I could get into so much trouble.” I said.
“I’ll tell you what, I promise to never say a word about your confession if you promise to never say a word about that book, or that I’m going to help get you out of here.” Mom said.
“You’re going to help me get out of here?” I asked.
“Yes I am, I’ve already made some phone calls.” Mom said.
“You have?” I asked.
“Yes, now what’s your confession?” She asked.
“I think about Mason all the time, all the time mom. Do you know how I always got in trouble for comparing all the boys I went on dates with to him?” I asked.
“Yes.” Mom said.
“I never stopped and I still think about him. When I was on the ambulance all I could think about was him. And when I heard that guy’s voice, I swore that it was him, but then I heard Tim calling him by his nickname.” I said.
“Tree.” Mom said.
“It was really him wasn’t it?” I asked.
“Yes it was, I talked to him at the hospital remember?” Mom asked.
“Is he…is he married?” I asked.
“No he isn’t.” Mom said making me feel excited.
“Does he have a girlfriend?” I asked.
“No, he doesn’t. He was engaged to a girl he met in nursing school but she was murdered by one of her ex boyfriends. He stalked her while she and Mason were courting, and after they got engaged, he killed her and that’s when Mason became a paramedic. Things happen for a reason Kaylee, and I think these things happened to you two so that you could be together. Why else would his fiancé get killed so that he would be single and become a paramedic after he spent years and thousands of dollars on nursing school? He wouldn’t have been down here otherwise, he would be married to another woman and everything. And because that did happen, he was down here and he saved your life. Why else would all of that happen if you weren’t suppose to be together?” Mom asked.
“That’s sad that his fiancé was killed mom, you’re acting like that’s a good thing.” I said.
“It’s not and that’s not what I’m saying. I’m trying to show you that these things happened for a reason, there is a reason for all of that Kaylee.” She said.
“I didn’t think I would ever be near him again.” I said while mom took my hand and looked in my eyes.
“Now is your chance Kaylee. It’s not too often that people get a second chance, and when you get one, you take it and you run with it. I’ve never had a second chance like you do right now, and I never will Kaylee. I’m stuck here with a man that I thought I was in love with and there’s nothing I can do about it now. You, you have a second chance and I’ll be damned if I’m going to deny you of that. I’m not going to deny you the life that you should have been living. Now I don’t know if god wants you to be with Mason or not, but I’ve seen how happy you were with him, how you glowed, I saw the look in your eyes, and I saw the way you two looked at each other constantly. This is your time Kaylee, this is your second chance only this time, there is only one name on that list, one. So please take this second chance and use it. Now I’m not saying to go straight to him and date him right away because you’ve been through hell so you’re going to need some time. But if he still loves you like you love him, then he will understand and just be there for you. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen, I personally believe that it’s meant to happen. I believe that you’re meant to be together.” Mom said while I cried.
“Thank you mom.” I said just before I hugged her.
“Your welcome, I want you to be happy, I want you to live the life I never got.” Mom said while we hugged.
“I need to go find him.” I said.
“Don’t rush it, you have been through a lot of things that I’m pretty sure Mason would have never done to you. You need to heal first, but do go and find him, just don’t get into a relationship with him just yet.” Mom said.
“Maybe he’ll help me heal.” I said.
“I’m sure that he will, now, we need to talk about you getting out of here.” Mom said.
“Ok.” I said after we stopped hugging.
“Now, I’ve made a few phone calls and I’ve made contact with some people who were in the order. They escaped and now they’re helping people like you get out of this hell. Tomorrow, we have a meeting with them at the Nevada Utah border and it’s going to be when your father is at work. I’ll pick you up. Then after the meeting, we are going to go back to your house and we are going to pack everything that you absolutely have to have and nothing more and we’ll hide it all. If everything works like I’m hoping, you’ll be gone within the next three days. You’re right, you do need to get out and you need to get out now and you need to go find the man of your dreams before another girl comes into his life.” Mom said.
I was overjoyed, that’s the only way I know how to describe it. Here I was, wanting to get out of the order and find my first love so I can at least get him back into my life again wether or not we ever courted again. I won’t lie, I was not ready for a relationship of any kind after what I just went through. I was still scared and I was still hurting after what Tim did to me. If I did find Mason, which I planned to do, I didn’t want him to be my rebound guy because he meant so much more to me than that. I was scared, I was scared that I didn’t know how I was going to feel about him when I found him. I didn’t know if I was going to be mad at him for leaving me the way he did, even though he didn’t have a choice. Either way, I was going to look for him, I was going to go find him and talk to him and I hoped against hope that we could at least be friends again. After I left moms house, I went home and sat on my couch and when I did that I started to replay everything I went through. I sat there for the longest time thinking about what I would have done better, and it hit me. I wish I would have seen the real Tim before we got married and I wished that Mason would have never left. Then I started to imagine what it would have been like if I was married to him and not Tim. I knew Mason very very well because like I said, we were best friends and we both fell in love with each other. So as I imagined my life with him as my husband, I couldn’t imagine him marrying anyone else but me. I imagined that we would have been kicked out of the order because Mason refused to marry anymore wives, I was all he wanted, he told me that. I started to remember the way he looked at me, how he made me feel and how his amazing hugs felt. I remembered how he looked at me, how he talked to me, and how gentle he was with me. I thought about how handsome he was, how nice his body was, how gorgeous his smile and his eyes were and how his body glistened when the water rolled off of him and down all of his very, very toned and well defined muscles when he got out of the pool. That was the very first time since like, my first week or two of marriage that I started to feel all tingly and shaky, and it was the first time since the first week or two of my marriage that I actually got wet.
How sad is that? How sad is it that I only got wet and horny for the first week or so of my marriage? Was that because of me? Was I doing something wrong? I already knew that Tim didn’t turn me on after he became abusive I mean, I never got wet, we had to use lube remember? I wasn’t even attracted to him anymore. But when I thought about Mason and his beautiful body, and how he made me feel, and how amazing of a kisser he was and how his kisses tasted, I was wetter than I had ever been, ever! I had to shake it off and run to the bathroom. I wiped myself off really good and change my panties, it was that bad. Tim never, ever got me that wet, ever I mean, he did make me wet for the first part of our marriage and all, but never that wet. Oh my god, I thought once I realized that I was still getting wet just thinking about my first love Mason. I started to wonder if he was a virgin, if he had sex with his fiancé and everything. I was hoping that he did so he had some experience, and maybe he could show me some things. I went to my room and laid on my bed, I didn’t even put my pants back on. I pulled my panties down and touched myself thinking about Mason. I made myself feel good and stopped because I was still married to that monster named Tim, besides I didn’t know what it was like to have a real orgasm so I didn’t know that if I would have kept going, I would have had my very first real orgasm ever. As far as I knew, I was done and that was it, so when I got done I had to go wipe myself again and put my panties and pants back on. It was a rough night for me because I felt those feelings all night long and it was because I couldn’t stop thinking about Mason. The next morning I got up and ate breakfast, took a shower and got ready for mom to pick me up. It was almost ten thirty when mom made it to my house. My brothers and sisters were all in school and dad was out on a business trip for a couple of days. I went out with mom and we drove for almost an hour before we got to some really remote spot. When we got there, there were a few cars there already and about five people.
“Kaylee, oh my god are you ok?” Person 1 asked when I got out of the car and they saw my black and blue eyes, bruised face, broken arm and my brace for my broken collar bone.
“Yeah, as good as I can be I guess.” I said while all of the people started crying.
“And this must be your mom.” Person two said.
“Yes, this, this is my mom.” I said.
“Can we hug you?” Person three asked.
“Sure.” I said after they all already started to hug me.
“I’m so sorry that this happened to you, I’m so sorry.” The first person said making me cry.
They all held me and cried for me for quite a while. As soon as they finally let me go, one of the girls started to bawl while she looked at me.
“I want out of the order.” I said.
“I’d ask why, but I think the reason is pretty obvious, so, when are you wanting to do this?” Person two asked.
“The sooner the better.” I said.
“You give us a time line and we will go with it.” Person three said while they cried.
“Tomorrow?” I asked.
“We can do that, but from what your mom says, we have to move fast.” Person one said.
“When we are done here, we are going home and I’m going to help her pack everything she’ll need.” Mom said.
“Just keep in mind that the more stuff you have, the longer it takes, and from what we see and what we’ve heard, we need to get you out fast.” Person two said.
“Keep it to the essentials like clothes and stuff, I don’t know how much stuff you have, but I’m not sure if we can get a uhaul in and get you out fast enough.” Person three said after they regained their composure.
“I don’t care about the furniture or any of that, it’s just going to be my clothes and makeup and stuff, I’m leaving the rest, I wanna get out now.” I said.
“So are you sure that this is what you want?” The first person asked.
“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.” I said.
“Are you absolutely sure because you know what happens if you do this, you can never come back and you’ll be completely cut off from family.” Person three said.
“She’s always going to have me, so that’s not entirely true.” Mom said making me cry again.
“What about her brothers and sisters, how will they act if they know you helped her?” The second person asked.
“They don’t need to know and I’m not going to tell them yet.” Mom said.
“What about her dad?” The third asked.
“If he finds out then I will take what ever comes to me.” Mom said.
“You’re a great mom, I wish more of the moms in the order were like you, you may not know this, but you’re a hero to us.” The third girl said.
“When are we doing this?” The first girl asked.
“I want to do this tomorrow.” I said.
“Can you get everything packed tonight?” The second person asked.
“I’m not sure, but I’m going to do what I can.” I said.
“I’ll help her.” Mom said.
“What time tomorrow?” The second third person asked.
“It’ll have to be in the afternoon since my brothers and sister are all in school and stuff.” I said.
“Ok what time?” The first person asked.
“Noon.” I said.
“Tomorrow at noon?” The person asked.
“Yes, I’ll have as much stuff I can packed in my car, and when you guys get there all we’ll have to do is go.” I said.
“We are going to have to move fast because we don’t trust your husbands family, they don’t have a very good track record.” The first person said.
“I don’t trust them either, they’ve been following me ever since I got out of the hospital.” I said.
“Has your husband been caught yet?” Person three asked.
“No.” I replied.
“Then we really need to get you out as fast as possible.” Person one said.
“We know the order has been watching you, they tried to follow you here.” The third person said.
“They did? How do you know?” I asked.
“We have a security team, they’ve been watching over you since your mom called us, don’t worry, they didn’t follow you that far.” The first person said.
“Are they going to be there tomorrow?” I asked.
“Yes, they already are but there’s going to be more that come with us. We’ll have them call the sheriffs too and see if they can be there too.” The first person said.
“Is it really that dangerous?” I asked.
“Not sure but we are going to try to not find out.” The third person said.
“So tomorrow at noon then, I need to get home and pack my stuff now.” I said.
“I’ll help for as long as I can.” Mom said.
“Come here.” One person said before they hugged me.
I got really long hugs from all of the people that were there to help me before mom and I got in the car and sped off. While we were driving back home, I saw a car following us, it was the same car I had seen a few times at home. I was scared at first to be honest, but then I remembered that they said that some kind of security had been watching over me ever since mom called them. When we got back to my house, mom searched my house frantically for my suitcases, and when we found them, we started to pack. I was really surprised that we had all of my make up, all of my clothes except the outfit I was going to wear the next day and the one I was wearing, and all of my hair stuff packed and ready to go. I had all of my suitcases packed and a few boxes packed, and I had my car packed up. All that was left was the stuff we were going to put in the other truck and that was it. By the time we were done, it was time for mom to go so she could be home when my brothers and sisters got home. She started to cry really hard and it made me start crying. She hugged me and just held onto me for the longest time, it was as though it was the last time she was ever going to see me.
“Good luck baby girl, go out there and start over, be happy. I’ll miss you.” She said while she sobbed and held me.
“Thank you mom. Thank you so much I will never forget what you did for me, I love you.” I said while I sobbed in her arms.
“I love you too baby girl, I’ll pray for you.” She said before she let go.
“I’ll see you when the kids are off to school. I want you to know that you are welcomed back anytime, just call me and we’ll set up a time.” Mom said.
“What about the order?” I asked.
“Fuck the order, you’re my daughter.” She said making me laugh out of shock.
“Why can’t all of the orders parents be like you?” I asked.
“Because they don’t love their kids like I do mine.” Mom said with a smile.
I hugged her again and we cried together for a few minutes before she left. After she left, I made a check list of everything I had so that I could make sure I wasn’t missing anything. After that, I went through the house to make sure I had all of the stuff I needed and wanted which I did. Well, almost anyway, I wanted some of my furniture, but that would mean that I would have to get a moving truck and I didn’t have the money for that and it would take way too long. I wanted out now, and I wanted out bad, so I was trying to get out as soon as I possibly could. Even though I had broken bones and stuff, I still tried to move as much as I could by the front door so all they had to do is walk in and grab my stuff. I got all of my stuff there, but I couldn’t stack anything because well, I was broken. I was in so much pain by the time I was done that I was in tears. I tried to not take any of my strong prescription pain pills because I wanted to be coherent when the people got to my house the next morning. But the pain got so bad that I had to take something, I had to and when the hydrocodone kicked in, I tried to do more, I was that determined to get out and as far away from the order as I could get. I finally went to bed after setting the alarm, and as I laid there, I started to get a little excited about the fact that I might get to reunite with my first love. But I didn’t want him to see me with all of my bruises, casts and stuff, so I decided to wait until I was healed enough to go see him, I just hoped that by the time I was healed enough that it wouldn’t be too late.
Why was I already making plans to see Mason? I just went through a very abusive marriage and was almost killed, and here I was, laying in my bed thinking about him. I started to smile just thinking about his incredibly eyes and his amazing smile. The way he talked to me and the things he said to make me laugh. I thought of all the sarcastic things he said and how hard he made me laugh, and I was actually laughing while I laid in my bed. Like I said, there is no other Mason, and no matter what I did, no matter how many boys I dated, I was never going to find my Mason in any of them. I know I just went through hell with a piece of garbage man, but somehow the things mom told me started to really make sense to me. Mason was the first one on my list when I was 14, he was the hottest and cutest boy I had ever seen in my life and I was in love with him, he was my dream man, he was perfect, he was perfect for me. Then he was taken from me after he caught his dad beating up his mom and sisters and beat him up really really bad. Then I spent the longest time trying to get over him and I never got over him. I dated because I was suppose to, and I got married to someone that I thought I was in love with. Then he beat me up really bad, and who comes and saves my life? None other than my first real and true love, Mason.
And while I was going through all of that stuff, he went to school and became a nurse. He started to court another girl and he got engaged to her, and after that, she gets murdered by some psycho. After that he became a paramedic. Mom was right, if we weren’t suppose to be together, then why would all of that happen to us? Why else would his fiancé die and he become the paramedic that saved my life? Why would I get beat so bad that I would need him to save my life? But it gets deeper, how is it that all of our ambulances and all the others around the city just happened to be gone? How is that possible, and why would that happen to where they had to call Masons ambulance to come to my city? Of all of the ambulances, his was the one that was sent, tell me how that was just a coincidence? And in the words of my Mason when he asked a sarcastic question, “don’t worry, I’ll wait”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sad and I hurt for him because his fiancé was killed, she was murdered. I can’t even begin to imagine what he must have went through after that and my heart like, hurt for him. But that made him become a paramedic, and because he was a paramedic, he was the one that came to save my life, cmon, it’s a sign, all of it was a sign. It was a sign for me, a sign that said that we were meant for each other. He was single and once my divorce was finalized, I was going to be single.
Second chance that’s what mom said, this was my second chance and she wanted me to take it and use it. She also said that it was my second chance to be with the one guy that I wanted to be with, the one who was number one on the list that the order made for me. I laid there in my bed and got the warmest chills, and the most peaceful feeling I had in the longest time ever. I experienced those same feelings every time I was with Mason. Every time we were together, which was a lot, he looked so deep in my eyes, it was like he couldn’t stop staring into them. Just the thought of that made me smile because I loved how he looked so deep in my eyes that I could like, almost hear his thoughts. I loved how they sparkled and how he smiled every time he looked me in my eyes. I loved how he watched my lips when I was talking, I loved it all. I never had any of that with Tim, ever. I cried that night thinking about the possibilities and the what ifs. And now, here I was, laying in bed high on pain pills to kill the physical pain that Tim caused, but the emotional and mental pain still throbbed. That was when I started to think, “there’s no way that Mason would want me now, I’m ugly and I’m stupid. I’m not a good wife, and if I can’t get being a wife down right, there was no way that I could be a good girlfriend for the cutes, funniest and most amazing boy I had ever known.” I started to sob, I wanted to be with Mason but I was no where near to being in his league anymore. That night, I sobbed, I sobbed until I fell into a deep sleep….