*An imagining of what could have been between Lou and Will. I do explore a few a scenes that actually took place in the book but I tweak some details to fit with this story. This chapter does have kind of a weird ending but I felt for the situation and Wills condition, it made sense. Bear with me, I already have Ch. 2 planned.
For those not familiar with this story- Will Traynor, a young man of 29 with an appetite for adventure and a bank account to accommodate it. If you can think of an extreme sport, Will has not only tried it but mastered it. He stands 6’1 and has a muscular frame. His dark hair and light blue eyes make a stark contrast against his burnished tan skin. He was full of life until one tragic day when he was struck by a motorbike while crossing the street. The accident left Will paralyzed from the middle of his chest down. After 2 years of suffering and deep depression, he tries to end his life. Determined to go to Switzerland and pursue a medically assisted suicide, his mother hires a young, vivacious chatty girl named Louisa Clark to hopefully cheer him up and make him change his plans. Lou is an average but pretty girl with a terrific smile and a love for people. She stands just 5’2” and has a slim figure but is one you can tell enjoys a late night bowl of ice cream. Her long brown hair is generally pulled up in some kind of wild braid or bun and her fashion sense it what some people might call eclectic or even outlandish. At first, she could hardly stand to be in the same room with the angry Will but over the past few months she found herself not only warming to Will but finding that she was becoming attracted to the ruggedly handsome young man.
Their holiday was almost over. Tomorrow they would leave this paradise island and return to their little corner of England. Lou could hardly believe all that happened. Not only had she had an amazing holiday where she learned to scuba dive but her feelings for Will had grown even more than she imagined.
Last night he asked her to stay in his room during a thunder storm. She had cuddled in next to him and they watched from their beach front bungalow as the lightning danced across the waves and listened to the thunder crashing overhead.
“Tell me Clark, how does someone as unique and wonderful as you come to be 26 and still live at home with their parents?”
“Umm…well, it’s a long, long story. You wouldn’t be interested.”
“I am interested in anything you have to say” he said with a grin.
“Ohh… you… why don’t we talk about you, how do you feel living back at home.”
“It would be much better without the chair,” he said sarcastically and she immediately felt stupid for saying it. “.. but you are changing the subject.”
“I just… don’t like to talk about it. Why are you so interested?”
“Because I want to know you. Everything I have seen of you in the last few months has shown me you could have a great future. It just boggles my mind why you would give that up to work in a pastry shop.”
“I don’t want to talk about it Will… I”
“What… don’t want to admit you are wasting your time with a cripple when you could be out in the world?”
“No… I just…” she stumbles to find the words. Why can’t he let this go?
“Come on Clark, admit it.” He chides, “you’re scared.”
“Scared…..you have no idea….’’ Why couldn’t he see she didn’t want to think about it! She sat up, turning away from him.
“ You can’t be scared for the rest of your life Clark. You need to explore, be on your own!” He went on,
“There’s too much to see and do and….”
“Yeah, well the last time I explored on my own, 3 men attacked and assaulted me.” turning to face him, “Don’t you dare judge me Will Traynor for being a little scared to leave my peaceful safe life!” tears streaming down her face. She hated showing her vulnerable side
Why did he have to keep pushing? She hated talking about it. It had been over 6 years but she still couldn’t bring herself to leave the village.
The look on Wills face was one of anger, pity, and longing. He wanted nothing more than to draw her into his arms and comfort her.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed.” He stumbles over an apology. “Is there anything I can do?”
“No Will. I just… I’m fine, really. It’s just not something I like reliving.” She turned to him.
“Come here Clark. Let me hold you, at least the only way I can.”
She leaned back in the bed and placed her head on his shoulder. She closed her eyes and ran her hand up his chest and let it come to rest on his shoulder. They lay there for several minutes without saying anything.
“Please Will. Don’t let this affect how you see me.” She said quietly.
“The only thing I am feeling right now is anger. If I could, I would get out of this bed and spend every penny I had tracking down those monsters who did that to you and beating them all within an inch of their life.” He said, clenching his jaw. “You…You deserve to be protected Clark.”
She couldn’t help it but she smiled. From what she knew of him, she knew that he would have done just that if he were able. In a weird way, it comforted her knowing that he wanted to protect her. They laid there talking for the longest time and she found herself relaxed and at ease with him.
When she had sat up to reposition Wills head on his pillow, he locked eyes with her and she felt as though he was staring into her very soul with his pale blue eyes. Without a thought, she leaned in to kiss him. It seemed like such a natural thing to do, like she had been doing it for years and like she would keep doing it for the rest of her life.
She liked the way his lips felt on hers. Butterflies started up in her stomach and she felt almost lightheaded.
God, he liked the taste of her lips. Like strawberries on a hot summers day, cool and sweet.
She broke the kiss, they smiled at each other and dropped her head onto his chest without a word.
She laid there with her heart thumping, trying to catch her breath. She closed her eyes and drifted off into a peaceful sleep, loving the way it felt to sleep next to this man who seemed to know her so well. She felt safe for the first time in years and slept better than she had in months.
Now, here they are, on their last evening before departure. They had spent the day being lazy, laying in the sun on their plastic chairs and watching other travelers frolic in the water.
They had just finished their dinner and Will was laughing while Lou danced around in the shallow water by the shore. They could hear the faint sounds of a radio from the beachside bar only 100 yards down the sand as it played “If you like pina coladas”. He watched as Lou lifted the hem of her ridiculous blue dress with its sailboats and sailors and his laugh caught in his throat at the sight as she sashayed playfully towards him kicking water as she came.
“Come” he said. “Sit with me.”
Lou leaned down and raised the arms of Wills motorized wheelchair.
“This way, you can’t run away from me when I talk too much.” She teased.
Will gave her a half smile before dropping his eyes to study her small hands folded in her lap.
“Lou…” clearing his throat… “Clark… I…”
“Shewww, I think those cocktails have gone to my head a bit” Lou said laughing, before draping one arm around Wills neck and bringing the other up to form a circle around him. “Hard to balance way up here without the arms down… perhaps I didn’t think this through…”
“Perhaps not.” He said, cracking a half smile. “Look Clark, I need… I need to talk to you about something important.”
“I know” she said just above a whisper, her eyes looking down. She had hoped he wouldn’t bring it up. “I know about your plans for Switzerland Will.” She was fighting back tears already. “I know that you don’t think your life is worth living but…”
“It’s not just that Clark…” he sighed. “I don’t… I don’t even feel like a man, let alone myself. I know I could happy in the moments I’m with you but I don’t want to live if I can’t be me.”
She looked at him through watery eyes. “I just wish you could see how good your life could be… how good it could be with me.”
She was finding it harder to hold the tears back from spilling down her cheeks.
“I just can’t.” he said. “There are so many things that you deserve that I can’t give you. I can’t watch you… wandering around the annex in your crazy dresses… Or see you naked and not…” his throat clenching up, trying not to cry “not be able to do… Oh God Clark, if you had any idea what I want to do to you right now.”
He bit his lip and looked toward the peaceful night sky, letting the images from his imagination swim before his eyes and his heart beat quickened.
Lou looked at him and before he could say another word she pressed her lips against his. As she eagerly sought his mouth, felt his tongue brush against her lips, she quivered on his lap. She pressed harder with her lips, almost begging him to feel her, to feel her love and lust for him. She turned on his lap, straddling him to get a better angle of his mouth. As she brought her left leg under her and around his knees, her skirt slid up exposing her milky white thighs.
His tongue parted her lips and she gladly opened to accept it. Her hand came up to tangle in the hair at the base of his neck. She pressed her breasts into his chest which sent a thrill up her spine knowing that they were touching his body.
She moaned into his mouth and in that moment Will was angrier about his accident than he had ever been. He begged and screamed at his arms to come to life and wrap around her small but curvaceous frame but they wouldn’t budge. He tried to move his head away, angry that he couldn’t touch her but she pressed into him harder. She wanted him to know that having him in this way was just as amazing as any other. She finally pulled her lips away from his ever so slightly and looked into his eyes.
“That was, the single, most amazing kiss I ever had.” She breathed heavily.
At that, he moved his head and kissed along her jaw as she moved her head from side to side. She looked up, allowing him to nuzzle and kiss her neck. He nipped and sucked at her throat, lightly tickling her soft skin with his tongue, teasing it. Without realizing it, she began moaning and rocking her hips against him as he continued kissing and licking her neck.
Even though he couldn’t actually feel her hips pressing into him, he knew she was doing it by the movement of her shoulders. He took a quick peek down to see that the hem of her dress was now up around her hips exposing her light pink and white polka dot panties to his hungry eyes. He groaned at the sight and dug back into her neck. This made Lou smile and she pressed harder into him.
She found his mouth again and drank in his taste. She could feel herself becoming more and more wet with each second that she was in contact with Wills lips. She pressed her hips into him hard and the belt buckle on his trousers brushed against her clit and she shivered in his lap and knew that she would cum soon. She couldn’t ever remember feeling this aroused before. She wished he could feel as she did, to feel that amount of pleasure. She knew she needed to tell him what was happening, give him the option to stop. She didn’t want him disappointed because… he couldn’t. She broke the kiss and stared at him, still rubbing her hips in circles on his lap.
She was breathing heavily but she managed to say “Will…. We… we can stop if you want to… I don’t, don’t want you to feel… bad… or disappointed but…” he was still licking at her throat. “…If we keep… keep doing this” She was almost moaning the words now “… I’m gonna… Ohhhh, gonna…”
“Damn it Clark, if you stop now I’ll never forgive you” Will breathed through clenched teeth. He never imagined that he would be able to enjoy something like this again.
Lou smiled and kissed him again. Damn, it was hot. Lou’s skin felt like it was on fire and her linen dress seemed to be smothering her. She reached up and slid the shoulder down on the left side and drew out her arm. She then slipped her right arm out and pushed the dress down. Since it was the Caribbean, she hadn’t bothered to put a bra on that night so as it fell her pert breasts met the evening air. Air, amazing cool air tickled her skin and her nipples stood straight out, almost straining to be touched, to be licked. To be licked and touched by Will Traynor.
Feeling her remove her dress, Will opened his eyes and drank in the sight of her; her soft white breasts curving upwards with pink nipples standing at attention. It almost drove him mad and he felt something he didn’t think was possible anymore.
She felt it too. A quiver… no not a quiver… a pulse from underneath her. She stopped for a moment and looked down as realization hit her that it was coming from his trousers. She looked at Will again and a sly grin crept across his face. Without breaking eye contact, she moved her right hand down to his crotch and began unzipping his fly, her hands trembling with anticipation.
Will held his breath, almost fearing that breathing would break the spell. The doctors told him it was possible but he hadn’t had an erection since his accident. Could he really do this, would he be able to keep it up? He lowered his eyes and watched her hands, almost shaking, undoing his trousers and remove his hard member through the zip.
Her breath caught as she stared. His 7.5 in cock was not only hard but it was in her hand. She couldn’t believe it. She kissed him again and began moving her hips up and down, dragging her panty covered slit along his shaft. She pushed his member up against her panties and held it there firmly with the palm of her hand. She started moving her hand up and down in time with her thrusts. Her breathing became ragged.
She rose up so that only the head of his cock was touching her through her panties and began rubbing her clit with it. At this height he was able to get her left nipple into his mouth and he began rolling it around. He alternated stroking it with his tongue and gently suckling at it.
She inhaled sharply. How was it possible that he knew what she liked when this was the first time? She could feel it again; She was going to cum and she was going to cum hard. Her nipples were stiff as boards and her panties were soaked through with her juices.
Will moaned into her breast, “Oh God, Clark…. You are…”
Lou felt the buildup begin. “Oh Will, God Will, I… I’m gonna cum…. Oh Will…”
She was rubbing her panty clad clit with his tip, yearning for release. Will sucked harder and used his teeth to scrape over the end of her nipple.
That did it, Lou came harder than she ever had before. Her body shook and her panties were flooded with even more wetness.
She cried out, “Will…Will… Oh God, I’m cumming…I’m cumming Will.”
Will smiled, released her breast and watched Lou’s face as she came, watching her pinch her eyes closed… The way her eyebrows bent and swooped as her expression changed from pleasure to sheer ecstasy… The way she bit her lower lip and then made an O with them as she exhaled. With each quiver, her breasts shaking and swaying, teasing him. He felt like he could watch her like this forever.
Suddenly, he realized what was happening and was helpless to do anything about it. He was screaming in his head again.
She heard his groan and opened her eyes. His eyes were closed tight and his mouth was open. She looked down and realized that the sound she heard was not a groan out of pleasure but one out of embarrassment. He was going soft without ever cumming. He turned his head to the side and pressed his lips together in disgust.
What should she say, she wondered. She needed to say something… anything to make him feel better.
“Oh.. Will… I… it doesn’t matter…. It…”
“It does matter Clark!”
“God Will, I am so sorry!” couldn’t she do anything right she thought.
“I don’t need your pity Clark, please, not from you”
“No. I’m not pitying you… I’m sorry that… I was so selfish. I…” tears were now spilling down her cheeks, dripping off her face and onto her still heaving breasts. “I was only thinkin about me… I didn’t think…. I… I was so focused on me that I wasn’t thinkin about what you needed. I am so sorry that I couldn’t… that I didn’t do it right…”
And it hit him. He was so angry with himself for not being able to finish that he failed to realize that his words had made her think that he was angry with her. He felt like such a fool. How could he do that to her?
“Clark…” he stared into her turquoise eyes, needing her to understand. “Look at me”.
She brought her eyes up to meet his
“ I could watch you do that every single day for the rest of my life. Seeing that on your face… that is something I never thought I would get to see again…. To… To bring pleasure to a woman again… It was amazing…. YOU are amazing”
Lou stared down at him and knew that he meant every word. His eyes were damp but not with tears of sadness.
He went on, “I’m the one who should be sorry Clark. For making you feel like anything less than extraordinary. A man… A real man could have… to… God…” he breathed out heavily, “a real man would have been able to finish staring at the amazing figure of the half-naked woman he loves.”
Loves? Did he really just say that? Did she really just hear him say that? Her eyes lit up and she smiled sweetly at him
“Alright Clark, don’t get all emotional and weepy on me.”
“I haven’t got a clue what your talkin about Will Traynor.” A sly grin danced across her face and she lowered her eyes.
“Look,” he said, “What just happened… if that’s all I ever get for the rest of my life…. It will be enough. You did something magical for me tonight Clark.”
She couldn’t help but smile and she pressed her lips back to his. She wanted to stay like this forever.
“Ya know, you are wrong about one or two things.” She said as she pulled back and raised one eyebrow into a perfect arch.
“oh yeah… and what’s that?” he said with his mischievous grin
“First, You are a real man. You made me feel beautiful and safe. That’s not somethin that comes easy for me and safe is not somethin I thought I could ever be again. That is the measure of a real man.”
She gazed at him so that he would feel the intensity and the sincerity of her words.
Her gaze held him, demanding that he listen and understand. He knew that he wanted to be with her, to see her like this again and again. His heart beat quickened for a moment imagining their life together.
“ So…” he said clearing his throat, “what was the second thing I’m supposedly wrong about?”
“Well, you said you would be just fine if this was it, but the way I see it Mr. Traynor…. You gave me several things tonight.” A devilish grin creeping onto her face. “ Not just emotional support but sexual support. So I figure, since I gave you emotional support already, I am indebted to you for a sexual favor.” She smiled enticingly at him, flirting.
“ Well, well, well…. Ms. Clark the trollop….” He said teasingly.
“OYYYY, I’ll knock you out this chair and leave you on the sand all night. Don’t think I won’t.” she said smilling at him.
God, he could look at that smile for the rest of his life.
She stood and straightened her dress back out, leaning in for one more kiss before they made their way back to the room.
Lou smiled to herself, replaying the events as she walked just behind his chair and couldn’t help but to imagine what their next encounter might entail.
Hmmm, he thought to himself as they neared their bungalow… what shall I do with my favor…