i followed him down the thin, winding dirt path, snaking it’s way through the park. he was walking a few steps ahead of me, with his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his low rise Levi’s. dawn was just barely breaking, the droplets of dew on the surrounding blades of grass glistened, it looked as though the earth’s surface was encrusted with thousands of microscopic diamonds. his footsteps were heavy, almost violent. the beat of his clunky vans against the crust beneath him matched the thudding of my own racing heart.
i hadn’t known him for very long. in fact, i barely knew him at all. i had met him at a local coffee shop just a few days ago. he stood awkwardly, at about 6‘4, he looked extremely out of place, uncomfortable in his own skin. i watched him from the table i had seated myself at a few moments ago, sipping my vanilla latte. his dark, sullen eyes darted to every corner of the room, taking in the slightest detail. eventually, his gaze shifted to me. i offered him a friendly smile, but his facial expression did not budge from the cold, hardened mask he wore. he continued to glance around him nervously, i’m sure a fly would have better luck capturing his attention than i did.
a scruffy teenage boy, probably only a year or two younger than myself, handed this mysterious man his coffee. the teenager seemed to be intimidated by him, i could tell by the way he avoided any eye contact. i understood why he was hesitant. to my surprise, the man started heading in my direction. the seconds turned to centuries as he approached me.
it was my very first time seeing him head on, and i was stunned by his rugged beauty. he wore a black lip ring, with a small silver stud right beside it. snake bites i believed they were called. it looked as though he had neglected shaving for a few days, giving him just the right amount of stubble to be considered sexy. his thick black hair was swept over his forehead, almost completely in his eyes. it was messy, like he had just crawled out of bed, threw on some clothes, and ended up here. a single blonde streak marked the front left side of his bangs.
as he moved towards me, i saw his confidence grow with every step. he no longer looked like he had outgrown his own skin, like he was out of place here. this is exactly where he wanted to be, where he was always meant to be. then he smiled at me. it was the first time i’d seen his expression change since he entered the poorly lit coffee shop. the hardened mask that once held his face in an icy glare, shattered. i watched as a grin started to take it’s place.
he was effectively moving in slow motion. his deep blue eyes glistened, despite the dim lighting. his eyes seemed to be smiling more so than his smile itself. his shirt was powder blue, and the top two buttons were left undone. i could make out a few letters of what appeared to be a chest piece. the only letters left uncovered by the flimsy cotton were “..ake you su..”. i couldn’t even guess what it fully read, but i was quickly side tracked by the rest of his flawless form. my eyes continued to scan him downward, i was absorbing every inch of him.
the fabric of his shirt was so thin, i could make out the fine lines of his six pack, and the smooth V that started at his hip bones, dipping down into his pelvis. he wore a white studded belt, with several of them missing. he looked just the slightest bit unkept, like he wasn’t aiming for sexy, which described him better than any other word in the english language.
after an eternity of anticipation, he reached out for the seat directly across from me. he slowly sat down, then met my gaze. i was melting, his look ignited a fuse deep within me. i was going to burst into flames, simply explode in the presence of this god-like being. his eyes were the brightest of blues i’d ever witnessed, with a green-yellow ring surrounding his pupils. i could drown in those eyes. i watched him wet his perfect lips with his tongue, then part them to speak.
“hi. i’m Seth.”
he extended his hand towards me, expecting me to shake it. i suddenly became unbearably self conscious. i was so caught up in the sex appeal that was oozing from his every pore, i forgot he was an actual human being. i realized my mouth had been hanging wide open, and i was salivating. i quickly cleared my throat, and attempted to regain my composure.
he sat there smiling goofily, his head slightly cocked to the right. his hand was still extended in front of him, waiting for me to break out of my stupor. i shot out my hand, and swallowed. my mouth had become dry, and i had to blink a few times to ensure that this figure of absolute perfection was reality, not some figment of my over active imagination. why was he wasting his time talking to a girl like me?!
“excuse me, i’m Danielle.”
i went to grasp his hand in mine, ready to give him a firm handshake. it truly was nice to meet him. i will never forget the first time Seth’s flesh grazed mine. my entire body broke out in a series of goose bumps, and the only thing i can compare the actual contact to is sticking a fork into an electrical socket. i gasped, jumping clear out of my seat. my face began to flush, i looked down at my hands, trying to hide my embarrassment from him.
he smiled at me, and allowed a small laugh to escape from his perfect lips. god, i adored his smile, especially when it was aimed in my direction. Seth looked deeper into my soul than i ever could myself. i was hooked.
“are you alright?” he began to look concerned. i must have looked like such a complete idiot, i had to salvage this somehow. i could not let him slip away.
“uhm.. uh yeah. you must have picked up some static electricity somewhere, you shocked me.”
fuck, i was stuttering. i sat there wishing i had worn my yellow sundress that day, rather than my grey sweat pants and university tee. i should have done something with my hair besides piling it into a lopsided bun on the side of my head. i should have taken the time to apply some eye shadow, perhaps some blush. then again, if i had taken the time to do all that, i could have completely missed him.
i wasn’t completely sure what to make of this lovely human in front of me. i was extremely drawn to him, yet some alarm was going off in my head, telling me to run, to be afraid. i wiped the perspiration from my palms onto my sweat pants, and gave him the sweetest smile i could manage. i probably looked sick, and i certainly felt like spilling the contents of my stomach right about then. he seemed not to notice though, or he was trying to spare me from any further humiliation.
“sorry about that.”
he took a sip of his coffee, black with only one packet of splenda. i nearly fell out of my chair hearing the silky smooth, baritone voice that was emitted from those lips of his. my legs were shaking, with the rest of my body following suit. i did not want to be there, yet there was no place else i’d rather be.
“so, do you go to the university?”
i lit a cigarette, for the sole purpose of having something to do with my hands. maybe the nicotine would help to calm my nerves, but i doubted it. i blew the smoke up towards the ceiling, and watched it as it spiraled upward, then disappeared.
“yeah.” he smiled. “i’m studying psychology. i live in the dumpy apartments just off of campus. it’s not the best place, but it serves it’s purpose.” i contentedly watched as he pulled out a cigarette of his own. great, at least there’s one thing i have in common with this perfect being. i lit it for him. i was trying to picture which apartments he was talking about, then realized they were only three blocks down from my own place. i wasn’t sure what to say. he seemed so at ease talking to me, and i was such a complete and utter disaster. a hurricane was taking place inside of me.
“ahh, i live right down the road from you then, on 22nd street.” his face seemed to light up, that perfect face. i began to stare at his chest, where his shirt was left to gape open. taunting me, not quite showing me all that i wanted, but giving me enough of a taste to desperately crave more.
“i may have to pay you a visit sometime then.”
him, come visit me? why would he even say that to me, he couldn’t possibly be interested. he finished off the rest of his coffee, and glanced at the tacky clock mounted on the wall.
“i have class in 15 minutes, so i better get going. i just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to talk to a pretty girl such as yourself.” he beamed, he knew he was in control.
“alright, hopefully i’ll see you around again soon.”
i had turned crimson, and my ears felt as if someone had doused them in lighter fluid, then cruelly lit a match. he reached out to me, and stroked underneath my chin with his index finger. another electrical current rocked my small frame. what the hell was wrong with me? his eyes twinkled.
“see ya.”
with that, he threw his empty coffee cup in the bin marked “recycle”, pushed open the thick cherry wood doors, and disappeared from the gaze of my starving eyes. i looked down at my hands, surprised to see my lit cigarette still poised between my index and middle fingers. i shook my head, attempting to comprehend what in the fuck had just taken place. minutes passed, i sat there, deep in thought. i reminisced about those beautiful blue eyes, fantasized about the way he bit onto his lip ring while he was waiting for my reply. i got so lost in the afterglow of him, i jumped when the manager told me he was closing up for the night.
i rose from my seat, my knees buckled beneath me. i could barely keep my balance. i held onto the corner of my table until the circulation returned to my legs, then i wobbled out into the warm spring air.
when i got home that night, i couldn’t sleep. i wasn’t even able to consider sleep. i was still far too consumed with something that had occurred hours ago now. i just couldn’t shake the thought of him, he stuck to me like velcro. i paced around my tiny one bedroom apartment, chain smoking, wondering when i’d see him again. if i’d see him again. somehow, i knew i would. he lived close enough, and our paths had already crossed once, they were certain to again.
the next few days were agonizing. i spent my free time walking around campus, praying i’d run into Seth again. i went everywhere, five times at the least. i went to the local park, ignoring a couple heatedly making out on a bench to the left of me. i visited the library, pretending to look at countless books i had no intention to check out. i went back to the coffee shop, three times in one afternoon. i had only entered once, to purchase an iced chai. the other two times i walked by slowly, peering inside the dimly lit lounge area, searching for the boy i knew i wouldn’t find.
my nights, i would lie awake in bed. i desperately needed to sleep. i tried everything! counting sheep, playing soft music, going out for jogs in the middle of the night hoping i could exhaust myself. i did drift off a few times, but my slumber was shallow, dreamless. the third night i cried, i simply could not hold it back a second longer. i wrapped myself up in my sheets and blankets, and bawled like a five year old that had dropped his ice cream cone.
i was going insane! mad, i tell you! this was not normal, or healthy in any way. i was obsessed with this strange man, who i’d only met once. we’d only exchanged a few words during our brief encounter, yet i clung to them as if they were the only words i knew. i told myself i had to stop this, i didn’t even know this guy i was so lovesick over. guys like him did not take interest in girls like me. even if i did find him on one of my wild goose chases, i knew i would be far too nervous to actually approach him. and if i did approach him, i would have nothing to say. if i did find something to say, it would be idiotic, and he would probably wind up laughing in my face and walking away.
i told myself these things, but i didn’t want to believe them. he had called me pretty, and he obviously approached me for some reason. i remembered the way he had smiled at me, and my heart began to flutter.
that night, i went on another one of my jogs, trying to tire myself. it was 4:51 am when i left, my destination was the park. hopefully some fresh air would help me to escape this insanity, at least temporarily. i shut the door to my apartment, and checked twice that it was locked before i left. i walked through the front door of the apartment building, out onto 22nd street, and gazed up at this strange structure that i called my home.
i tucked my hands into the front pocket of my hoodie. it wasn’t cold out that night, but the slight breeze made it uncomfortable to leave your arms completely bare. i studied my feet as i walked along, i watched the tassels of my worn out moccasins swing to and fro.
i had almost reached the park, when i heard footsteps behind me. i turned around, but was only greeted by darkness. then he stepped into the small puddle of light cast down upon the sidewalk by a single street lamp. i rubbed my eyes. i hadn’t slept in so long, i figured i was just seeing things. what could Seth possibly be doing walking around the park at nearly five in the morning? what the hell was i doing walking around the park at the same time?
then he smiled, and flashed those perfectly straight teeth at me. i waved at him, and he waved back. i was dumbfounded, frozen in place. Seth began walking toward me, yet again moving in slow motion. he wore a simple white V neck, but it clung to his fit form perfectly. i could just make out the dark outline of a few of the letters inked into his flesh. “..ll ma..” was all that his shirt left uncovered. i looked into his eyes again, and lost myself just as i had the day that we met at the coffee shop, and in all the countless day dreams i had of seeing his glorious face again.
he stopped in front of me, and folded his arms across his chest. he studied my face for what seemed to be hours. trying to dig up information with solely his eyes, attempting to figure me out, to break me with his stare. realistically, it only lasted a few seconds. i could not guess what he was feeling, he looked emotionless, he was yet again wearing his cold mask. then he spoke.
“follow me, i want to show you something.”
i followed him down the thin, winding dirt path, snaking it’s way through the park. he was walking a few steps ahead of me, with his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his low rise Levi’s. dawn was just barely breaking, the droplets of dew on the surrounding blades of grass glistened, it looked as though the earth’s surface was encrusted with thousands of microscopic diamonds. his footsteps were heavy, almost violent. the beat of his clunky vans against the crust beneath him matched the thudding of my own racing heart.
his legs were much longer than mine, and i could only cover about half the distance he could in a single stride. i was having trouble keeping up with his frantic pace. i felt beads of sweat begin to form on my forehead. what could he possibly want to show me in the woods during the middle of the night? i watched as he walked along, his muscles rippling under his thin cotton shirt. we continued to follow the same beaten bike path, i had no sense of how long we had been walking. i looked about me as we passed tree after tree, their twisted branches entangled with one another. the wind was blowing through their naked limbs, emitting an eerie wailing that pierced the dead silence. i could hear the rush of water.
we reached the end of the bike trail, and he led me through the dense brush off to the right. the water grew louder. i leaped over decaying logs, ducked under vines blocking my path, i nearly fell several times. i was far too distracted by the sight of him to pay much attention to my footing. we came to a clearing, and i saw the most beautiful sight i had ever witnessed in all of my nineteen and a half years.
the sun had just started to peek over the hills, drowning everything in sight in an orangey-pink glow. the stream was shallow, more like a creek, but the current rushed by with the speed and intensity of a jacuzzi jet. the water was clear, i could make out the tiny colorful pebbles dotting the bottom of it. you could see them being pushed along, beat down into the rock by the powerful current. the trees had not yet begun to bud, but the grassy area in the clearing was abundant with signs of the coming spring. small yellow flowers were scattered about, swaying in the slight breeze. i was honored that he had shared this wonderful place with me.
i turned my gaze to Seth, he had been watching me, trying to gauge my reaction.
“it’s beautiful.” i said it with both my voice, and my heart. he turned his attention back toward the bubbling water, reflecting the pink of the sunrise.
“i know, i’ve never visited this spot at dawn. come closer dear, there’s no need to be shy..” he grinned. something about his smile this time made my blood run cold. it was not the genuine, playful smile he had worn at the coffee shop. he scared me, but he lured me in like a moth to flame.
i inched closer to him. my hands became clammy, and i felt my pulse quicken. i stood directly in front of him, gazing into those eyes of his, awaiting my next instruction. i could feel the heat radiate from his body, and i basked in our closeness. i was too lost to make any move for myself, i was in his hands now. he stepped closer, and wrapped his arms around my waist.
the initial shock of it startled me, even though i had learned to expect it. it was different this time though, he did not pull away. he held me, and i could feel his touch radiating through my every cell. my body was buzzing, i was a live wire. my wobbling knees could no longer support my weight, and i allowed myself to collapse into his chest. Seth’s scent was intoxicating, pure poison to me. it was unlike anything i’d ever smelled before, for it stimulated more senses than strictly my scent. i had not yet had my fill of our wonderful embrace, when he pushed me away.
he grabbed me by my shoulders, and shot invisible daggers of hate straight through me with his glare. his eyes were aflame with rage. the yellow rings encircling his pupils began to dance around in the surrounding bright blue. he raised his hand, i admired the strength and size of it, i was impressed at how quickly he snapped it back down, flattening his palm, slapping me in the face. i was stunned. but i could not move, could not cry out for help, i was immobile. besides, i wanted to stay here with him. he was wonderful. i knew that i should be afraid, but i wasn’t. i was finally alone with him, i had his full attention. i was finally getting what i had yearned for. i quickly accepted my fate, knowing there was nothing i could do to change his mind anyway. if i were to cry out, and beg him to release me, he would only become more enraged. i submitted to him.
Seth grabbed me by my hair, digging his fingers deep into my scalp. he dragged me to the edge of the creek. he had become an entirely different being in a matter of minutes, a being even more fascinating and hypnotizing than he had been before. he had become purely animal instinct, and i was his prey. he slammed the right side of my face into the jagged end of a protruding rock. i heard the sickening crack of my cheek bone, my entire body was set aflame in pure agony. the blood began to trickle down my face, onto my chest. a dark red stain formed, soaking through the thick fabric and onto my skin.
he was far from done with me though. he violently tore off my sweatpants, yanked my sweatshirt over my head with haste. i heard the fabric of my camisole tear, as he ripped it away from my shaking body. his hands began to tremble as he reached behind me to search for the clasp of my bra. grasping either side, he pulled, bending the small metal clasps. my bra fell to the ground. he admired my newly exposed flesh, but only for a split second before proceeding to remove my panties.
Seth stepped back, and removed his own shirt. i saw him standing there, but my brain was not able to process the image before me. his fingers worked quickly, removing his belt, undoing the single button securing his jeans to his body. one foot at a time, he stepped out of them, along with his boxers. he forced me down onto my hands and knees, and shoved my bleeding face into the icy water. the freezing cold began to dull the throbbing in my cheek.
Seth got in position behind me, slowly easing his manhood into my now dripping hole. he was almost gentle with me for a split second, a low groan escaping his lips. he made love to me, and i was in absolute heaven. the friction he was creating inside of me was beginning to start a fire, building pressure, pushing me further and further toward the edge. i didn’t care about my damaged face, or the fact that Seth would hold my head under the water for almost a full minute. he would then allow me to resurface, sucking as much oxygen into my lungs as i could, before returning to his tortuous pattern.
he was playing with me, this was all just a childish game to him, and i was taking advantage of every second. gripping my hips he administered one last thrust, emptying his seed deep into my womb. i climaxed, feeling his manhood jerk and spew wads of his hot cum against my cervix. he reluctantly pulled himself out of my ravaged sex, replacing his wonderful member with something terrifying.
i saw the shiny flash of metal, reflecting the colors of the sunrise. he plunged it into me before i even fully realized what the object was. i felt the blade dig into my flesh, slicing and carving into my vaginal walls. he fucked me brutally with the knife, completely ruining me. my blood mixed with his semen gushed out, coating my inner thighs with the gory mess. i screamed, and screamed and screamed. he made no move to silence me, i continued until my voice grew hoarse and eventually failed me. it was a lost cause anyway, there wasn’t a soul out there to hear my pathetic cries for help, and i wasn’t sure that i even wanted to be rescued at this stage in the destruction of my once beautiful form. i began to grow light headed, i blacked out to escape the sheer agony i was in.
the next thing i was aware of was my broken form was being lifted off the ground by my hair. i opened my eyes, greeted by the sight of Seth’s bare chest. his tattoo read “i will make you suffer.” black splotches blinked across my line of vision, and my mind entered the darkness for the last time.
i watched from above as Seth drug my lifeless body away from the water, he kissed my still warm lips, and once again sexually used me. he pulled a backpack from the nearby shrubbery, and produced from it a chain saw. i apathetically looked onward, as he sloppily dismembered my legs from my torso. the motor of the machine was deafening, but it did not quite drown out the disgusting popping sound of my blood vessels being ripped apart. the saw sliced through my thigh bones as if they were nothing but warm butter. blood and flesh were flung by the chain in all directions, splattering Seth’s lovely face with my most precious bodily fluid. he grinned, this time it was the smile he had flashed me at the coffee shop, only a few short days prior. i couldn’t help but to smile as well.