Family Issues

FAMILY ISSUES

CHAPTER 1

_____________________

Jason really wasn’t sure what to expect when his mother told them that his aunt Rachel would be coming to stay with them for awhile.

The only thing he knew about his Aunt was that she seemed to be the family screw-up, and he only vaguely remembered meeting her once when he was little. She had been seventeen at the time, ten years older than he was, and quite frankly, he thought she was weird.

In his defense, he had only been seven years old, and he hadn’t even known the term “Goth.” All he knew was that she was moody, dressed like she was in mourning or something, and she swore a lot.

Jason was seventeen now, and like most boys his age, he was interested in girls. They just didn’t seem all that interested in him.

To be perfectly blunt, he was something of a nerd. At just over five-feet-nine-inches, he was pale and thin, with greasy black hair, and he had to wear glasses because he was about half-blind without them.He didn’t really have a sense of style, prefering jeans and t-shirts most of the time, and he spent most of his time playing video games.

His single mother had a very good job, and she made up for the fact that she was always working by spoiling him. He had a state of the art gaming system, complete with a gaming chair, internet hook-up, and a fifty-inch flat screen in his bedroom.

He was playing World of Warcraft with his headphones on when his door suddenly opened, spilling light into the room. He turned, expecting to see his mother, but instead it was his aunt, Rachel.

“Your Mom left a key under the matt for me so I just let myself in,” she told him after he pulled his headphones off. “You’re Jason, right? Last time I saw you, you were just a little squirt.”

“I remember,” Jason nodded numbly, not sure what else to say. She was so beautiful, she might as well have clubbed him over the head with a stick.

About five-feet-six-inches tall, she was probably around a hundred-and-twenty-pounds, with a lithe, but curvy figure, accentuated by a pair of incredibly tight leather jeans, and a tank-top that was stretched so tight it barely covered her perfectly rounded breasts. She was a full c-cup, and her breasts looked huge on her small frame. Her mid-drift was left bare, revealing her pierced belly button, and the top of some sort of tribal tattoo peaked out of her waistband, trailing up onto her abdomen.

She seemed to have quite a few tattoos and piercings. Her ears were both pierced several times, there was a stud in her left nostril, and it looked like she even had a stud in her tongue. There was a stylized cross wrapped in barbed wire on her upper right arm, and on her left calf was what appeared to be Harley-Quinn making out with the Joker.

Her eyes were big, dark, and aluring, with thick lashes, and carefully maintained eyebrows. She had a full, senual mouth with deep purple lipstick that framed her lips, and her raven-black hair was shot through with streaks of highlights that were the same color. She projected an aura of raw sexuality, and he didn’t even realize that he was staring until she called him on it.

“The Doc did a nice job didn’t he?” She laughed at him. “Five grand and you’d never guess that I used to be flat chested.”

“W-what?” Jason stammered as he flushed bright red.

“Don’t worry about it,” she offered him a playful smile. “If I didn’t want them to draw attention, I wouldn’t have paid for them.”

Jason couldn’t seem to find any words.

“But what about you?” She turned the spotlight around. “Your mom told me she bought you a car last year, so what the hell are you doing sitting in your room playing video games on a Saturday night? Why aren’t you out chasing girls?”

“They all seem faster than I am,” he couldn’t believe that he actually thought of something clever to say. And then, even better, he managed to get it out without fouling it up.

“Not so good with the ladies?” She asked sympatheticly.

“That’s one way to put it,” he replied glumly.

“I might be able to help you with that, if you’d be willing to help me,” she offered.

“What kind of help?” He asked doubtfully.

“I’m supposed to start a new job tonight,” she told him. “I need a ride until I can make other arrangements. Do that for me, and I’ll help you get laid.”

“Are you serious?” Jason’s mouth fell open in suprise.

“You’re not a bad looking kid,” she shrugged. “It shouldn’t be that hard. I’ve seen some pretty ugly guys score some pretty hot chicks, so believe me, noone is a lost cause.”

“What time do you have to be there?”

It turned out that his aunt had gotten a job at a strip club, and she laughed at his expression when they pulled in. Of course, he immediately offered to pick her up after work, but she told him that a friend that worked here was giving her a lift.

The entire way home, he couldn’t stop thinking about her taking her clothes off for strangers. He felt kind of dirty for imagining it, but he couldn’t help it. He had seen women more beautiful than his aunt, mut he had never met one in person that oozed with such raw sexuality. She was like a wet dream come to life, and his cock really didn’t seem to care that they were related.

He was as hard as a rock the entire way home, and it just wouldn’t go away no matter what he tried thinking about.

Jason’s mother was home from work by the time he made it back, and suddenly he didn’t want to see the resemblance between the two sisters. In truth, his mom looked exactly like her sister, she was just ten years older, and she was the plain housewife version. She didn’t have any tattoos, and she was very nearly flat chested, but she was still a very attractive woman.

Luckily, she was absorbed in her favorite show, and he was able to slip through with just a minimal conversation. She asked him where he’d been and he told her that Rachel had showed up and asked him to drive her to her new job. Of course, he didn’t mention what that job was.

Let Rachel deal with that one on her own. His mother was so straight laced, he could just imagine how she would react.

Once he escaped upstairs, he finally got rid of his errection with a long, cold shower. He felt a little better afterward, but that didn’t last long. The moment he went to bed, he closed his eyes and saw his aunt gyrating her hips and swinging on a stripper pole. He was hard again instantly, and this time the aching throb would not be denied.

He felt like a dirty little deviant, but he jerked himself off, and imagined pumping his load all over his aunt’s gorgeous tits. He knew that it was wrong on so many levels, but they were just thoughts, right? And besides… The only other way he could think of to get her out of his head was bashing his brains out against the wall.

Masturbating was the lesser of two evils, and after he relieved the tension, he was finally able to drift off to sleep. He wasn’t aware of dreaming, and it seemed like just a few minutes later that he woke to the sound of someone snoring. The curtains were just starting to glow around the edges, and with a glance he saw that it was almost six in the morning. His mother would have already left for work by now, and he frowned at the dark lump in bed beside him.

There was only one possibility, and he knew it before he switched the bedside lamp on. It was definately his aunt, and she smelled like she had taken a bath in beer and whisky.

What really got his attention was the fact that all she was wearing was a lacy red bra and panties. She was laying on her side with her back to him, and as his gaze roamed across all that bare flesh, his cock started to swell again.

Just looking at her bare back gave him chills, but her ass was something else. Just barely covered from his hungry eyes by the thin red panties, her ass was absolutely perfect.

“Good Lord give me strength,” Jason muttered as he tore his eyes away. He desperately wanted to run a hand down those long, smooth legs just once, but instead he forced himself to reach out and shake her shoulder.

“Aunt Rachel?” He called loudly. “You’re in the wrong room.”

Nothing.

“Aunt Rachel?” He shook her harder, and there was still no reaction.

Damn. Just touching her warm, soft shoulder gave him the chills, and before he could stop himself, he ran his hand up her leg and over the perfect globe of her left buttcheek.

Jason yanked his hand back like he had been burned and scrambled out of the bed.

What the hell was he doing?

This was so incredibly wrong, but he wanted to so baddly. He had never felt such aching need in his entire life, and it felt like the fire inside him was burning up his good sense.

Just looking at her laying there created a wave of desire that nearly made him weak in the knees. Maybe he could get away with just a little feel…

First, just how drunk was she?

It didn’t take him long to notice the pool of vomit drying on his carpet, and her clothes laying scattered on the floor. She was definately drunk, but he still yelled her a few more times, and shook the mattress so hard, she flopped over onto her back, but she just continued snoring.

He knew what he was thinking was terrible, but in the back of his mind a plan was already forming, and he knew that is was a now or never opportunity. He was pretty sure that it would work, but first he had to have the balls to go through with it.

He knelt on the bed beside her, gazing down at her as he brushed a lock of hair away from her face. Was he really going to go through with this? There were about a million ways it could go wrong, but at that moment it seemed like an acceptable risk.

Just to be sure, he shook her one last time, and she didn’t even flutter an eye.

First he rolled her back onto her side so that he could get her bra unlatched. He had never taken a bra off before, and it took some fumbling to figure out the latch. Once he got it, he rolled her back, and pulled the thin stringly material away to reveal her perfect breasts. Her nipples were a light, pinkish-brown color, and his stomach fluttered when he saw that the left one was pierced with a silver ring.

His hands just seemed to reach out of their own volition and run across her smooth, soft skin. He squeezed and stroked her tits, marveling at how they felt overfilling his hands. He really had no reference for the difference between real tits and fake tits, but these one seemed real enough to him! He bent down and sucked her right nipple, delighting at the way the nub instantly grew thick and hard between his lips.

His cock was throbbing viciously, and he yanked her panties off so fast he heard the material rip. With her completely bare to his gaze, he pushed her legs apart and just knelt between them gazing down on her for several long seconds. Sprawled so wantonly, she was the sexiest thing he had ever seen, especially with the way her pubic hair was trimmed down to a narrow little landing strip.

Her pussy itself was pink and perfect, with puffy lips, and a little hood that was currently hiding her clitoris. He was actually starting to have second thoughts, but just looking at that made him drool. He had to taste it, and as his tongue delved between her folds, her body reacted immediately, flooding her pussy with moisture. The tangy, musky taste of her was almost intoxicating, and when he slipped a finger inside, feeling it surrounded by her wet heat, he wanted to know what that would feel like around his cock with a desperate maddness.

Pushing her legs farther apart, he crawled up beween them, and his heart was hammering in his chest as he positioned himself. Was he really going though with this? Could he even stop at this point? He looked down at her, and he knew at that moment that he couldn’t stop. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything in his young life, and he felt like he would lose his mind if he tried to stop himself.

He pushed his hips forward, and his eyes widened as the first two inches of his cock slipped inside her before his dry shaft stopped him from going further. It felt incredible with just the head in, and he almost didn’t want to pull out. Using his fingers, her rubbed her clit, and smeared her slick juices over himself before he tried again.

This time, his cock slipped right inside her, and her pussy felt incredibly tight wrapped around his thick shaft as he sank himself deep into that warm, wet bliss. He couldn’t even believe how good it felt, and this time his eyes really did roll up as he closed them and enjoyed how good it felt.

His hand found her breast and cluched at it like he was hanging on for dear life, because as he worked himself inside her, it felt for all the world like her pussy was sucking at him.

He wanted it to last longer, but he started to shudder as his balls tightened, preparing to release. He wanted to cum inside her so baddly, but he knew that was a really bad idea, and he had a better use for this load in mind. He pulled out at the last moment, and blast after blast of his slimy white cum arched across her abdomen and chest, spattering all over her.

He was amazed by how much of it there was.

When it was over, he instantly felt a wave of guilt, but he shoved it aside. This was going to be well worth a little bit of guilt, and he didn’t really even try to clean her up. Instead, he just turned off the light, and climbed back in bed with her. It was a little gross, but he lay down on his back and pulled her her tight against him. Her head resting on his chest, he wrapped his arm around her back, and pulled her leg up to where it lay draped across his crotch.

Okay, so she was a little slimy, but laying there holding her felt really good, it wasn’t long before he drifted off to sleep.

“Oh… God!”

Jason came awake as Rachel pulled away from him, because well, their skin almost felt like it was glued together.

“Morning,” he chuckled as he streched languidly. “Looks like both of us could use a shower. Want to join me?”

“Oh God!” She repeated as she held her throbbing head between her hands. “What have I done?”

“Are you okay?” He touched her shoulder, and she yanked away from him.

“What did we do?” She stared at him in shock. “How could you let this happen?”

“How could I…?” Jason stared at her like he was stupid. “Oh man… I knew you were drunk, but were you really that drunk?”

“I don’t even remember leaving the bar,” she shook her head.

“Then you didn’t mean any of what you said?” He feigned suprise. “You told me you wanted to be my first, and you didn’t just want to teach me, you wanted to show me everything.”

“Oh God.” Those seemed to be her favorite words at the moment. “Your mother will kill me.”

“She doesn’t have to find out,” he told her. “She works so much, she never even here anyway.”

“You mean…” Rachel’s mouth fell open. “You want to… You think this is going to happen again? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Nothing’s wrong with me,” he snapped defensively. “You attacked me in my sleep! What the hell is wrong with you? You told me you wanted me, and I believed you.”

“Maybe I did,” he went rigid as he saw the tears streaming down her cheeks. “Maybe I do, but I didn’t think I would ever… no matter how drunk I got. I didn’t… You don’t understand.”

“What don’t I understand?” He was starting to get worried now.

“Your mother and I…” Rachel had to stop for a moment as she was almost overcome with sobs. “I know she never talks about it, but our father abused us. Physicly, mentally, and sexually, and both of us swore that it had to stop when he died. That’s why we haven’t even seen each other in years. That’s why, I’m really not kidding when I said that she would kill me if she finds out about this.”

Jason hesitated before he said it. “I won’t tell her, as long as you do what you said you’d do.”

Rachel gaped at him. “Are you actually trying to blackmail me? You little twerp! You wouldn’t dare tell her! You don’t have the balls!”

“All I know, is that after last night, I feel like I’d be willing to do anything to have you again,” he told her with complete honesty. “It was over far too quickly, but you passed out, and I thought there would be plenty of time. Imagine how I feel right now. All I know is that I want you, desperately.”

He pulled the sheet back to show her his swollen cock. She started to look away, but then her eyes widened as she saw how big it was. A solid eight inches, and thicker than anything she had ever had inside her before.

No wonder she felt like she’d been streched. It made sense if she had taken that monster. She could just imagine what that would feel like, and she actually felt a pang of disappointment that she didn’t remember it.

What the hell was she thinking? And how the hell did such a little guy grow such a huge cock? The damn thing was almost like a third leg, and she felt herself getting moist as she thought about trying to fit it down her throat.

What’s wrong with me?

Jason didn’t know what she was thinking as she tore her gaze away from him, but he saw her flush bright red as she scrambled out of the bed and grabbed her clothes up off the floor.

“Aunt Rachel?”

She stopped at the door as he called after her.

“Don’t call me that,” she told him seriously. “It’s just Rachel. Okay?”

With that she was gone, but this was far from over.

He was going to make damn sure of that.

CHAPTER 2

_____________________

Joe was agitated after Rachel left his room, but he also needed to piss so baddly he felt like his bladder might pop. He pulled on a pair of shorts and headed for the bathroom, but growled in frustration when he saw the door closed and heard the shower running. There was another bathroom downstairs, but he decided fuck it and pushed the door open anyway.

“Is that you, Jason?” His aunt’s hesitant voice came from behind the shower curtian.

“I have to piss before I rupture,” he told her as he moved to the toilet.

“Oh my god,” Rachel rolled her eyes as she heard his stream hitting the water in the toilet bowl. “They’re called boundaries, Jason. Look into it.”

“Don’t you think we’ve already shattered the boundaries?” He chuckled dryly. “Exactly what tabboo is this breaking?”

“Good Lord,” she shook her head after several moments. “How much piss can one person hold?”

“I told you I really had to go,” he sighed.

“Look, Joe, about what happened,” Rachel took a deep breath. “I know that I can’t take it back, but I’m sorry it happened.”

“I’m not,” he told her bluntly. “You’re amazing.”

“I-I”m flattered, but that can never happen again,” she told him. She waited for a response, but she couldn’t even hear him pissing anymore. “Jason?”

“Why not?” Rached squealed and tried to cover herself as he stepped into the shower naked. “You’re too late, he grinned at her. “I’ve already seen every inch of you naked.”

“We can’t,” she told him, all to aware of just how little she could keep covered with just her hands. “It’s wrong.”

“Isn’t it funny how doing something wrong can feel so right?” He growled as he advanced, and there was nowhere for her to go.

He pushed her back against the wall beneath the showerhead, and she gasped, looking at him in suprise as she felt his throbbing errection pressed against her abdomen. Warm water was cascading down onto them, and she couldn’t help but see the warmth and tenderness in his eyes as he reached up to brush the wet hair out of her face.

“You are the sexiest woman I have ever seen,” he told her sincerely as they gazed into each other’s eyes.

“Please don’t,” Rachel whispered.

Her lower lip was trembling despite the heat, and he just couldn’t resist leaning in and sucking it into his mouth. She tensed for a moment, and then she was kissing him back with a desperation that nearly unnerved him. Her hands clutched at his back, and he delighted at the was her big, wet, breasts felt pressed against his chest.

He couldn’t stand it. He felt like he was on fire, and he reached down and guided his cock between her legs. He had to bend his knees to get the angle, but as he ran the head down her slit, he felt her slick moisture instantly, and she widened her legs sightly so that he could slip right inside her.

Their bodies flush once again, he groaned low in his throat at how good it felt to be inside her. She kissed him again, clutching at his hips to pull him in deeper, moaning at the way his thick cock filled her so completely.

“You are so fucking tight,” he growled in her ear as they began to thrust their hips together, working his cock in and out of her at an angle that was stroking her clit at the same time. It was really starting to drive her crazy, and when he buried his face in the side of her neck and started sucking on her jugular, she almost came right then and there.

“You’re so fucking big,” she gasped as he jerked his hips forward, burying himself inside her as far as he could while they were standing face to face. He grabbed her ass with both hands as he smashed her against the wall, and she was so close she could taste it when he suddenly withdrew.

“Don’t stop now,” Rached whimpered as he lowered himself to work her breasts over with his mouth. She gasped as he twisted and pulled at her nipple ring, and that was when she resorted to begging. “Please give it back.”

“It was about to be over, and I don’t want it to be over,” her told her as he trailed kissed down over her abdomen, and her stomach fluttered as he tongued her belly button.

Once he was on his knees in front of her, he burried his face in her musky pussy, and she moaned as she threw her right leg over his shoulder to open herself up more fully. What he lacked in experience, he made up for in enthusiasm, so she figured that she would give him a few pointers.

“Put your tongue inside me,” she gasped. “That’s it. Fuck me with it. Now my clit. Lick it. Flick it with the tip. That’s it. Now suck on it.”

Without needing to be told, Jason slipped two fingers inside her as he attacked her clit with his tongue, and he felt her start to shudder as he plunged them in and out vigorously.

Rachel wound up a howl that sounded like an air-raid siren as she shuddered and jerked through her climax. Her leg tightened around him so fiercely, he thought that she was going to break his neck. Gradually, the pressure eased as she came back down, and he planted one more gentile kiss on her clit before he withdrew.

Jason worked his way back up her glorious body, and started to guide himself back inside her, but she shook her head as she pushed him away. He gave her a disappointed look, and she laughed at his misunderstanding.

“Out of the shower,” she told him. “The water keeps washing away the lubrication, and one slip and one of us is going to wind up breaking our neck.”

She shut the water off as they got out, but she didn’t even dry off as she pulled him down to the tile floor with her. She pulled her knees back against her chest, and without hesitation, he drove his full length into her with one smooth thrust.

Her eyes went wide as every inch of him filled her, and then she groaned as he started thrusting against her. His right hand grasped her breast so tightly it hurt, but then his hands went to her hips because she was sliding across the floor with every thrust. Pulling her back against him stabilized them somewhat, and his thrusts got harder and harder.

Their bodies made a loud, wet, clapping sound as they came together at a frenzied pace. Her mouth fell open and her back arched up off the floor as her legs wrapped around him. He growled in pain as her nails dug into his back, but he was actually grateful because the pain took his mind off the building pressure in his balls.

He saw her eyes roll back as her mouth gaped open, and he drove himself into her harder and harder as he watched her gasp and shake her way through another orgasm.

Damn was that sexy.

She started squirming, trying to get away, but he grabbed her shoulders and held her as he continued his relentless pounding. She went right back over the edge again, and this time her ogasm just about blew a fuse in her mind. For several long seconds she couldn’t breathe, and her entire body went into convulsions. Finally she released an ear splitting shriek that sounded like she was being murdered.

Finally he stopped and just held himself inside her as the trembling and convulsing finally started to pass. She was still gasping for breath as she felt him slip out of her, and that caused another round of shudders to reverberate through her.

She wasn’t sure how much more she could take, but she didn’t resist as he rolled her over onto her stomach. She just closed her eyes, and tried to control the convulsions as he straddled her hips and slowly sank himself back into her.

“Oh, fuuuuck,” Rachel moaned as he ground his hips against her ass, churning his cock inside her in a way that definately turning her into butter. In fact it made her feel like she was already going to cum again, and her body just wasn’t ready for it.

“It’s too much,” she gasped. “I can’t… I can’t take it.”

“You can take this cock,” he growled as he leaned forward, thrusting into her forcefully and his hands slipped between her and the floor to grab her breasts roughly. “You like this fucking cock, don’t you?”

“God yes,” she squealed tightly as she tensed, clenching he legs together tightly as she started to shudder again. “I’m cuming baby. Cum for me. Cum with me, please.”

“You want my cum inside you,” he growled as he crushed her breasts and started to pound her as hard as he could.

Rachel went wild, pushing at him, trying to stop him as her most intense orgasm yet tore through her. It felt like every nerve in her body was sizzling on overload, and then she felt his cock convulsing and jerking as her coated the walls of her pussy with his hot cum.

“Holy fuck,” he growled in her ear, shuddering as his cock strained to squeeze out the last few drops. “I never knew that anything could feel this good.”

“Damn that’s a great cock,” she gasped as he withdrew and rolled off onto the floor beside her.

“I’m glad you like it,” he chukled low in his throat as he pulled her back against his chest, and his fingers found her nipple to tease it absently. “It certianly likes you.”

“We can’t keep doing this,” she sighed.

“Oh yes, we can,” he told her as he nibbled at her neck, enjoying the was it made her purr like a kitten.

“Your mom would kill me if she finds out,” Rachel groaned as she closed her eyes and bit her lip.

“You said that before,” he reminded her as he nibbled on her ear. “She won’t find out unless one of us tells her, and I sure as hell won’t as long as you don’t try to take his delicious pussy away from me.”

“You’re seriously going to blackmail me?” She asked incredulously.

“No, I’m begging you,” he told her horsely. “We’ll be careful so mom never finds out. I promise.”

“I’ve done some truely stupid shit in my life, but screwing my nephew really takes the cake,” Rachel blew out a sigh and chuckled softly. Why couldn’t he have sucked in bed and made this easy?

“Just remember that if I wind up in jail, it’s all your fault,” she told him. “So you better bring me some fucking cookies on Sundays. Lots and lots of fucking cookies.”

“Is that a yes?” He rose up one one elbow so that he could grin down at her. “I knew you couldn’t resist my charm.”

“What charm?” She laughed as he looked offended. “It’s that cock I can’t resist. What do you feed that thing? Blondes?”

“The only thing I’ve ever fed it is you,” he growled, and her mouth fell open as she felt him already growing hard again against her thigh.

“Seriously?” Rachel looked at him in amazement. “Already?”

“What can I say?” He chuckled. “I think I’m addicted to you. I don’t ever want to stop touching you. I think I could fuck you a million times, and it still wouldn’t be enough.”

“It’s always that way at first,” she gasped as his fingers found her pussy again. She was still dripping wet and incredibly sensitive, so her body reacted to his touch instantly.

“You’re going to kill me,” she groaned as she reached back and grabbed his thick cock.

“Maybe,” he moaned as she positioned him so that he could slip right inside her from behind. “But what a way to go.”

“You like those tits, don’t you?” She moaned as his hand reached around to fondle and squeeze her breasts as he fucked her at an almost maddeningly slow pace.

“Smack it,” she moaned.

He was a little suprised, but he obliged by smacking her breast lightly.

“Harder,” she moaned as he obliged, smacking her breast agan before gripping it roughly, and pulling at her nipple. “That’s it.”

She arched her back, trying to drive herself back onto him, but when she pushed back, he withdrew, and kept his pace ever so slow. Like this, it was like he could feel her pussy gripping at every inch of him as he slid in and out of her, and when his fingers found her clit again, she came instantly. She shook as he held her tight against him, and the feel of her pussy convulsing on him was too much.

“I’m gonna cum,” he growled as he gave her a short, forceful thrust that made her gasp.

“My mouth,” she gasped eagerly. “Cum in my mouth. I want to taste you.”

Who could say no to that?

He scrambled to his feet as she got up on her knees in front of him. She grabbed the base of his shaft, and the image of her kneeling in front of him was so erotic, his cock started to jerk the moment she opened her mouth. The first spurt splattered across her cheek, but then she trapped the head in her warm mouth as she worked his shaft with her hand.

It felt so incredible, his knees almost buckled as he emptied what was left in his balls over her tongue, and he watched as she swallowed every drop. When he was finished, she even used her finger to scoop the cum on her face into her mouth, and then she actually licked her lips as she looked up at him with a playful grin.

“Now that’s the breakfast of champions,” she teased.

“I just want to spend the rest of the day with you naked in bed,” he told her as he pulled her to her feet and kissed her, not even caring that he could taste himself on her lips. “I want to lick every square inch of your body, and fuck you until neither of us can walk.”

“How about we start with some real breakfast and go from there,” Rachel laughed.