“You’ve been practicing,” Kyrano smiled as he held up the padding in front of him as the tall young man made their little area crackle with the sounds of punching and kicking. “Say what?” he replied after a while as he stopped and cocked his ear. “I said you’ve been practicing; it shows. You’re more powerful than ever, my young John,” Kyrano said, gesturing as well as putting the padding down, as if to say that it was time for them to stop.
“‘My young John’… I’m glad you only call me that now either when it’s just the two of us, or if it’s only Virgil that’s around, not the others,” John laughed after he had removed his gloves, subsequently, he pushed a stray white-blond lock of hair back from his face that was beginning to annoy him. Kyrano smiled proudly at this splendid figure of a man, whose shy ways and gentle manner couldn’t mask the graceful, gifted, athletic body that he possessed, nor his prowess in what some would call the ‘manly arts’. “Your father, Mr. Tracy, is pleased but surprised at how easily you excelled not only in boxing but in the martial arts as well, kickboxing in particular,” Kyrano handed him a nice, cool sports bottle filled with spring water, something that John was eager to drink.
There was silence as he drank- he had finished exercising for today; it had been a stimulating regimen of jump roping like a boxer, weight training for his arms and shoulders, a few restful stretches in between and the finale, a good session of kickboxing practice. “Yes, he was as surprised as I was. He said that although Scott is very good at it, I’m better- he said that you have to watch the “quiet ones.” He also went on to say that I’d be formidable if I had to go into combat hand-to-hand,” he put the bottle down, smiling quietly as he did so as he remembered his father’s praises.
“Or hand to foot, you mean,” the elder smiled at the younger; his face glowed with the kind of love and admiration that only someone who had willingly given themselves as a father to their charge under their guidance would do. “Thanks for training with me. I feel great, but now I’d like to just sit and kick back for a bit,” John said as he took the towel that the elder man gave to him, wiping down a bit. “Yes, and I think that I shall rest too, before cooking hmmm, something with a… a peanut sauce?” Kyrano’s eyes were merry as John’s blue eyes sparkled with delight. “Awwwww, you really know how to spoil a guy,” he said warmly, enfolding the older man in a filial embrace; the prospect of having grilled chicken breast kabobs, coated in peanut sauce seemed to John to be just the thing to make a day special.
After letting him go, he left the gymnasium relaxed, eager to sit down but with a happy spring in his step. He didn’t ask me about my clothes, it wasn’t just that it was warm in there- I felt like wearing red too, John thought and smiled to himself; the towel around his neck covered his shoulders, which were graced by a sleeveless undershirt in white. These, along with some short jogging shorts, in the color of ‘fire-engine’ red, made him in fine fettle, as one would say. Virgil loves these colors- he got me into wearing them and I like them myself. He was walking into the main area of the house, noting that it was silent.
Dad and Scott went to the mainland, business associates to meet. Gordon’s up on my bird in space- relieving me; Gram and Tin-Tin, well, they went along with Dad, a sewing and quilting bee for charity, Tin-Tin said. It would seem terribly old fashioned to some, but Gram loves that and Tin-Tin has fun too; they love the female company, John mused as he walked along. Tracy island was predominately male, but at least their father didn’t demand a machismo culture around the house- a regular house of roughnecks, as Scott would say- art, literature, music and manners had been as encouraged by their father as learning to pilot aircraft or use weapons. All of the Tracy brothers considered themselves fortunate in that regard.
John continued to reflect until he saw someone in a sitting room in a quieter part of the house that was older and rarely used. The wooden paneled sliding door was open to one side; from it, he could see Virgil, who was taking a nap. He stopped to look in upon his younger brother, who looked right now for all the world like a contented feline relaxing in the afternoon, mercifully away from the warmth of the slightly warmer weather and he was being protected by some Venetian blinds and nicely lined drapes.
John went quietly into the room; he could not resist a view of his beloved at rest, nevertheless, he tried to be as quiet as a falling snowflake, hoping not to awaken him. However, it just happened to be mere coincidence that Virgil twitched his nose, yawned, then opened up his hazel eyes, only to find his elder brother standing there looking at him calmly.
“I was hoping that my entrance was quiet. Apparently it wasn’t; I’m sorry,” John said in a quiet voice. “No, you didn’t disturb me. I just happened to be ready to wake up, that’s all,” Virgil said calmly, as he continued to remind John of a cat, stretching out his limbs with ease. John thought that it was so endearing that he put his hand out to stroke the dark-blond locks of hair that rested on Virgil’s forehead.
“You’re wearing them too,” John looked at Virgil’s shorts, which were the same very short jogging shorts like he himself was wearing, only they were in purple, not red, while he also wore a short sleeved, off white T-shirt to go with them. “Yes, I see what you mean… now. You must have known it too, the fact that grandma wasn’t going to be at home. We can lounge in these around the house when she’s not here, otherwise…” “For sure, I know,” John interrupted; “we’d have to change before leaving the gymnasium-father says that these are too short, too loose to wear around the house casually… with ladies and all,” John used the tone and imitated their father’s military bearing and manner as he remembered how he used to bring up these subjects with them.
“Yes, it’s kind of like a party, a costume day almost, isn’t it?” John smiled as he looked at Virgil’s hand, which was gesturing for him to as well as to settle down on the couch. They talked about what Virgil would call ‘little-or-nothing,’ “small talk” for quite some time. Virgil sat upright on the day bed as John sat on the couch near him. John was uncharacteristically sprawled out over it, his clothing made a sharp contrast to the grey couch. His relaxed, casual pose caused Virgil unconsciously to adopt the same stance while the two of them were still deep in their conversation, however after a while, they both fell silent.
At first, the silence could be attributed to a need on the parts of both brothers to rest their voices, but then as the silence continued, a gradual change could be felt as it took over the room. Virgil’s eyes drank in deeply the red shorts that John wore, noting how nicely they complemented his legs, which were graceful, long and very fair in color.
Without thinking, he allowed his eyes to wander lazily up from John’s feet to his lower thighs- he sure appreciated the view, although he was not quite ready for what was to appear next. “I feel so relaxed… so good today,” John said cheerfully as he continued to sprawl out on the couch; his head was thrown back while his arms were out at his sides. Virgil, meanwhile, was still silent; he wanted to reply, but was stopped by a pleasing sight; the loose shorts shifted on John’s body, inadvertently revealing a fine view of his sex- it was resting nicely to one side, with the tip playing ‘peek-a-boo’ with the observer.
Virgil could feel his eyes grow wide with surprise and at first, he sought to speak in order to let John know, then he found his eyes attempting to look away from the pleasing view, but he found himself unable to do so. Instead, he looked on in silence, surprise and blushes were fast giving away to a look of delight and a wish.
“I almost fell asleep…. Sorry,” John said as he raised his head, only to find that Virgil had not heard him, but instead, had a glazed look in his eyes, as well as a blissful look on his face. John recognized the look, but could not think of what could have caused it.
“You’re…you’re looking at me as if I did not have any clothing on…” John said in a very low voice- he was also smiling shyly now and one could also detect merriment in his tone. As John lowered his eyes, he found that his own glance was resting on his beloved’s purple shorts, which he found to be quite fetching. As he continued to look, he saw Virgil’s member, now hard and peeking straight out from the side legging of his clothing. It was then that his own body let him know, as a gentle breeze from the air conditioning wafted on his manhood, cooling it somewhat, just why Virgil was staring at him.
“I…I did not tell anyone that I was… was coming here,” Virgil sought to speak, but his voice was thickening. “I went my own way too,” John replied. “Hardly a soul in the place… ohhhh John, do we dare?” Virgil said in barely a whisper; hope and desire commingling in the tone of his voice. John rose from the couch and put his fingers to his lips as he walked over to the wooden sliding door in order to close as well as to secure it. “We do. It’s a holiday….let’s treat it like one,” John whispered at last as he finished, then he walked over to Virgil, who began to remove his T-shirt.
For the two of them, it seemed that each act of love merely enriched the experience of their love in its entire. John wasted no time in sitting next to Virgil after the latter moved over on the day bed to make a place for him.
As Virgil turned to him and touched his cheek gently, he could see a conflict brewing in John’s eyes all of a sudden. “You’d… you’d rather not?” Virgil’s voice betrayed a bit of disappointment. “No… I really want to, but… I did such a vigorous workout… am I… okay? I…I might need to grab…a shower first,” John’s voice was reflecting a slight apprehension about being perhaps too ‘gamy’ as he liked to put it, as he felt his eyes lower their glance to the floor.
“Oh, I love that you’re so tidy and all,” Virgil took his beloved’s chin and raised his head, looking directly at him. “I love it even more when you’ve been working out,” he went on to put his nose teasingly along John’s graceful, long neck, sniffing ever so quietly. “You’re not gamy… you smell like a man whose labored in a nice field, fresh and lively,” he began to move his nose away approvingly in order to offer his lips- “you look so good…, you… smell so very, very good… but now… right here and now… I want to taste you as well, too…” Virgil put his soft lips upon the underside of John’s arm, very close to his underarm and varied between licking and kissing, in addition to seeking to tease his lover by giving him a few playful nibbles.
John moved his arm in order to give his brother more room to play, groaning at the seductive different sensations of touch, as they varied from lip, to teeth, or tongue. With a deep moan, he pushed his beloved brother gently away, just far enough in order so that he could remove his own shirt, then he pulled Virgil back close to him, sealing his freedom from hygienic worries with a deep, long, passionate kiss.
It was their habit to take turns; now this time, John would be the one to take his turn, as jogging shorts, socks or shoes were quickly removed and cast neatly to a hidden side; before they knew it, John found Virgil’s fine legs wrapped tightly around his upper thighs and Virgil was trying hard not to bite on his beloved’s shoulder in delight as he felt himself being completely filled by John’s member, which inerrantly found its home in that small space of warmth.
“AHHHHHH… I feel you filling me… all the way to my head…” Virgil groaned aloud as the hardness took over; John was deep within him now, sighing with relief and pleasure too, for Virgil’s own sex was rubbing against his body; the tip of it felt so tantalizingly good- when it began like this, he wished that it would almost never stop. He relaxed just a bit, just long enough to able to open his heavenly blue eyes- his hands and arms were on either side of Virgil, making the two of them come closer, more and more as one.
“You… you do it for me like… no one… I want no one but you… love no other… like you, V,” John breathed out the words in rhythm timed in between strokes. He could see the same word of love mouthed by his beloved brother, so overcome was Virgil that he was unable to speak. John continued to kiss; they opened their mouths up wide as if to exchange breaths of air. Virgil was holding him so tightly that John had to make his thrusts shallow, instead of plunging in deep, but that was fine- they both liked to try variety in their love play.
“ …somewhere around the world…” John sang quietly as in an eye blink, he changed his movements from back and forth to the more pleasing motion of a potter’s wheel; he moved his engorged phallus in delightful, clockwise circles, evoking melodious sigh of delight from his beloved. They were oblivious once more to the world, to even the sounds that they were making. All that mattered to them was their act of love, which like a sacred ritual, took them beyond their flesh because their love transcended the flesh. They were bound to each other in truth and spirit- ‘one’ in all of the ways that mattered.
At the same time that the lovers were at play, Alan, their youngest brother, sensed a need for a break in his studies. He was in a study room a bit of a distance from his own room; he knew that when he had to bear down and study one of his favorite subjects, analytical chemistry, that he preferred to be far away from the comforts and distractions of his own room. His best friend, Fermat, was not studying with him this time; he was with his father, Brains, no doubt he was getting some pointers on some ‘far-out-scientific-idea,’ as Alan liked to call it, when he was in a mood to tease him playfully.
Alan stretched as he got up and could feel a frown form on his youthful face-“I don’t mind studying…but I’ve been at it for hours. I’d like to take a break with Fermat, but he’s in one of those: ‘I’m-totally-dedicated-to-science’ mood today,” his voice betrayed his own sulky mood, a mood that he began to feel this morning, when Fermat had informed him of his plans for the upcoming day.
“Oh well, it’s not all that bad,” Alan smiled to himself as at the same time, he chided himself for taking on such a childish stance; between the two of them, Fermat was clearly the more mature one, despite the fact that they were only a few months apart in age. “I can’t help it, if I’m in love with an “old-man” and a bookworm to boot,” his aquamarine eyes twinkled naughtily and he began to laugh softly, which in turn, broke his weariness and tension.
“Okay… I’ll be a good boy today…and study some more, but… my textbook,” Alan picked it up. It was good but he knew who had a better one, especially if he wanted to keep one step ahead in his studies, as it was his custom to do. John’s books, they’re the best, the newest! He knows this stuff in his sleep, perhaps I can, uhhh, er… borrow… just one or two,” Alan whispered the words, he knew that he wasn’t going to find these newer books in John’s room- he had caught on to his brothers’ ‘borrowing’ and rustling through his collections quite a while back.
“He didn’t fuss or yell,” Alan remembered, “but that gentle, firm voice…that he used with all of us… might as well had been Dad pointing a stern finger at us when we’ve been up to something,” he continued to remember the quiet lecture that they all got, simply and plainly- if you borrow, please ask first.
“Oh well, like Scott said: who else do you know that alphabetizes and re-alphabetizes their books? That’s how our ‘borrowings’ stuck out like a sore thumb,” Alan finished his thought out loud, equally remembering that from that time on, John took his more valuable books to another room in a seldom used, older portion of the house, which he turned into an impromptu library.
I know where it is though; Alan smiled to himself with self satisfaction. I’ll go there and get just two volumes and leave a note in their place; if he really gets bugged, I’ll promise to take some extra duty weeks upon Thunderbird 5- he’ll love the extra time on Earth. Thus with a plan in action and with the confidence that he always had in himself to see things through undetected, the youngest member of the Tracy family left his own study area towards his destination.
The deities of love had always been kind to Virgil and John and would continue to be, however, they were joined this time by the Fates, who were eager to have a part in the love drama. It was they, not any carelessness on John’s part that caused the sliding wooden paneled door to unloosen, thereby allowing a small, but nonetheless open view into the room. The slight of hand by powers unseen went unnoticed by the lovers- so intense was their ongoing union that they were rendered blind to anything but one another.
Therefore, it was in that fashion that Alan, seeking a short cut to John’s hideaway library, walked along the corridor, his mind focused on his studies, until his ears let him know that he was not the only one in this lonely part of the house.
Somebody’s having a good time… I wish it were me, was Alan’s first thought upon hearing one pleasant sound, but when he heard another voice, his curiosity could not help but get the better of him. He assumed that by the second voice that it was coming from a DVD or a secret television program that was being watched, but as his keen eyes peeped into the narrow but ample opening of the door, those same deities of love, ones that Alan did not know about, entwined with the Fates, made him freeze in his tracks, his aquamarine eyes grew wide with astonishment at what they were seeing.
The normally brave-to-the-point-of-foolhardy pilot of Thunderbird 3 was frozen dead in his tracks- his senses were stunned by the erotic tableau set before him, OMIGOD…on…the…on the bottom…Virgil? He blinked his jewel-like eyes in disbelief as he saw his elder brother, whose ways were so shy, quiet and so chaste that hardly any of the others dared to venture even a few ribald words to him, seriously or in jest. But there he was, his body drenched and glowing with sweat, as his lips were locked firmly onto another’s, while his thigh flexed their muscles to match each erotic move initiated by the one above him.
Well, I’ll be….he’s…he’s with a man…and that man…is John? My god, my own brothers? Alan dared not to blink for fear of accusing himself of hallucinating, however, this was all too real and not only just by sight, but with the guttural, earthy voices that fell upon his ears, also by sound as well.
Virgil was lost; his head moved from side to side. His mouth was changing shape seemingly from one moment to the next, from one of grimace in the appearance only, not in reality, of pain that John’s passion drove him to, right to grins of the deepest joy. He had tried to make more than one note noises. Now, as John held him close and for the barest instant, as Virgil raised one of his thighs higher, Alan could see his other brother’s testicles, large and firm like new grown plums, slapping into Virgil with each movement, which now was like a dance, with a variation between the gentle rolling about like a potter’s wheel, or one of thrusting in ever deeper with an extraordinary, to Alan’s eyes, vigor.
“Ummmm…please…oh,please…John…it’s so…good… AHHHHHHHHH…” Virgil sang out the words in sounds of perfect pitch. As for John, he had buried his lips and mouth against his lover’s neck, using his aristocratic, yet powerful arms to hold his love ever tighter, while at the same time, he rubbed his taunt belly against Virgil’s own sex, the tip of which slid against that firm stomach, coating him copiously with its own natural lubricant. John smiled to himself- he realized that he was in deep, filling his beloved not only the way he liked, it, but he was also giving a masturbatory satisfaction to his chosen one, by his use of his stomach as a fretting instrument.
Despite everything in him that said that he should be horrified, nay, even repulsed, Alan felt his body react- his hair, the color of newly minted gold, began to dampen and swirl into those curls that his own paramour, unbeknownst to any, Fermat, found too irresistible to keep his hands out of, especially at the climax of their own comminglings. He could feel his eyes close and his head swirl as the seminal fluids within his own body began to congeal, causing his own man root to swell and rise.
He could tell that his brothers, unlike himself were not beginners- it was obvious that they had been at this for quite some time and he had to admit with an almost nigh palpable gnawing feeling of lust, admiration and envy that they were quite good at it. Alan began to lick his lips involuntarily; fascination was taking over- who would have ever dreamed that the two shyest and quietest members of the family would carry on like this and with such expert precision. I…I ought to go away… look away…oh heaven help me… I can’t… Alan’s hand was shaking; he could feel his own organ beg for that sweet release that at times of isolation or want, he could easily produce by the caress of his youthful hands. Shame began to creep over him; only that kept him from moving his hand down into his own walking shorts. However, try as he might, he could not close his beautiful eyes.
“Ohgodyesgodyesgodyes…can’t hold back…any longer…feel…like a dam about to burst… ohhhhh…god…I’m about to….” John groaned as he rose up at last, his burning eyes were locked unto Virgil’s now. Virgil couldn’t speak, he just tossed back and forth at first, then in a bare whisper, he too stated that his *moment* was almost upon him. “I love…you, my…my own…” Virgil gasped the words at last- he so wanted John to once again be sure about the love that he so deeply bore for him.
“…and I you…my…my, oh my…” John felt his whole body stiffen and harden; he was rigid, as he plunged in one last time, giving his beloved the sensation of iron within him. “Oh my… VIRRRRRRRRRRRRGILLLLLLLL…” John uttered in desperation, as well with the oddest smoothness. His voice took on the cadence of the drawl of the American South, as smooth as a mint julep.
Now, they were both awash; wet with kisses, juices and their own semen. John bucked and arched- he was coming in spurts, each one consecutively stronger than the last, with Virgil’s following in suit in an even flow that flooded onto the sides of his lover’s waist; the shaft exploding, grateful to be relieved of its burden.
Alan’s eyes closed at this point, virile as he was, he was going to have to leave- indeed, run away- his own body was about to ejaculate in rebellion against being denied its usual, gradual steps to release. “So bizarre, yet so beautiful,” he moaned, hoping that he would not be heard.
Fortunately, he was not heard, but as Virgil and John reveled in the warm bliss of their ecstasies, Virgil’s head turned towards the door; his eyes were focused and alert. There he saw his baby brother, no mistaking the golden hair, the faultless fair skin, or lips which were licking themselves uncontrollably. Virgil’s glance was long and hard-he had made no mistake; that image was burned into his memory and it caused a wave of ice, as cold as a glacier, to run down his spine in tandem with the warm bliss. It was numbing; his flesh went from cold then back to warm from the crown of his head to the tips of his toes.
Like an ripple upon a pond, it ran straight to Alan, whose bodily demands forced him to flee, which he did as fast as he could in silence, believing falsely, since his eyes had been closed as Virgil saw him, that he had gotten away sight unseen. When Alan reached a WC nearby, he closed the door as quietly as he could, then the shame, the puzzlement, the sheer totality of it all set in- it deflated his throbbing member like a fish taken abruptly from the sea and put on shore. The sudden return to flaccidity relieved, rather than annoyed him; he sighed as he pressed his head as well as the palms of his hands upon the inside of the door.
“I’ve got to clear my head…think really, really fast. Thank goodness they didn’t see me,” Alan expelled a deep sigh, hoping that he would not be heard. As he fell silent, it seemed to him like for a time, a million thoughts were running through his head, having to do with questions such as why, or how long. In a brief time, however, Alan came to one conclusion. “If it were me…” he whispered, looking back to his own situation with Fermat, I’d want, I’d hope that… that person would keep it to himself- he finished his thought in silence. My brothers are adults; it’s consensual, to be sure; he allowed his body to feel in a small way once more the pleasure that it got from seeing the sensual act.
That’s it then. What I saw…and heard stays with me…and no other. Although Alan was very young, just scarcely past age 21, he had long been expected to keep in confidence matters of all kinds. In addition, he equally knew that if had told their father, not only would there be chaos of all kinds, but in addition, his own secret relationship might be exposed. Also and much worse, their father would lose respect and trust in him; telling on them would, to their father be far worse than what John and Virgil were doing.
“I’ve got to settle down. I think I’ll rest… at the old house,” he said to himself, as he gathered himself together and left the WC in order to go towards an area where he kept his moped, since it was a warm day, he would use that, instead of a regular bicycle, to get to his little hideaway, a comfy place that he had nicknamed the ‘old house.’
While Alan was leaving the main house in a way that avoided the two lovers, John and Virgil had finished; they helped each other with their clothing as usual. Virgil had his back turned to John while they were dressing; he did not wish John to see that he was so lost in thought. He knew that he could not take back what he had seen, nor did he wish to let it show on his face. This is not the time yet to explain it to John… but I know that I’ll have to, soon, before the others return… I can’t keep this from him- it wouldn’t be fair… he’d be hurt, upset with me, Virgil found himself thinking and thinking faster than he was accustomed to.
“Virgil…” at last, John put his hand on Virgil’s shoulder, in turn, Virgil gave out a deep sigh in order to mask the shiver that his body made. “Such…such a nice and unexpected interlude,” John’s voice was warm; he half murmured the words. He was still feeling the pleasure from before. “Yes…oh, yes to be sure…” Virgil tendered a response. “You know,” Virgil began, hoping not to give John time to ask another question. “A few minutes ago… when you said my name… when…you know,” Virgil lowered his eyes shyly, causing John to look at him tenderly. “I heard you say it… well… like a Southerner. I’ve never heard you ever talk that way before…” Virgil’s quietness masked his concern; he was using his will not to give anything away at this point- this was still John’s, no their moment.
“I…I guess…yes I did, didn’t I?” John could feel himself smile shyly and the pink to red began to cover his cheeks, flooding to the rest of his body. “Well, I…all I can say, is that when I’d be at NASA in Houston… or in Florida even more so… I’d find that at the end of my work there, sometimes… I’d obtain… or lapse, as I used to call it, into that way of speaking. I would seek to dump it before coming home; it wasn’t me.
Also, I know… that in my quarters when I was alone…and got a bit lonely and I’d need to… well…” John’s voice trailed off a bit as he smiled, looking at his hand, which he was using in order to touch his thigh, indicating what his loneliness would drive him to do at times. “I know…” Virgil smiled warmly at him nodding. “Well,” John went on, “I’d call out your name, buried in my pillow, sometimes with that accent… it just added to the good feeling, although I couldn’t tell you why,” John was blushing all over now and smiling- it was just his way and irresistible, as Virgil found himself kissing John on the cheek before he knew it.
“Well, with that explanation done, now it’s my turn- you okay? You ran cold as ice there for a minute there; you were cold all over, V… you’ve never been like that before… I could not think at the time but afterwards… I well… I wondered… did I? Didn’t I make you happy?” John’s color and demeanor returned to normal. “Yes…not to worry,” Virgil put John in his arms. “You made me happy; you make me happy… satisfied. You never disappoint, John,” Virgil held him tightly; the course of action that he was going to take was now set.
Virgil had been shocked and scared by Alan’s intrusion, but his own inner serenity, which was his greatest strength, had filled the hole of fear that had developed in him. His feelings, his instincts told him that all would be well; he could and would make it well. John needed him and loved him. His love had made John happy, his life whole and complete, in ways Virgil knew that were far deeper than for himself. He deserves that love, the intimacy, every thing in me that I have to give and I’m not going to allow anyone or anything get in the way of that. I’m not going to allow Alan to ruin this…for us. Upon this last thought, he felt his grip upon John tighten, so much so that John began to fidget; not wanting to give anything away, Virgil released him.
“We’d better separate for an hour or two, but I want to chat with you later, in my room okay?” Virgil said as calmly as he could. “Sure, I’ll be there, say in a little over than an hour? What shall we talk about?” John’s voice was calm but concerned. “Oh, just some odds and ends… about Alan… I could use your help,” Virgil said, relieved that he was masking the furtive tone in his voice. “Sure, I’ll be glad to, but actually, Scott plays the ‘big brother’ role better than I do,” John smiled as he put his towel in his arms. “I’ll see you, in just over an hour then,” John finished.
To Virgil, the time went by all too quickly; like John, he had used the time to bathe and groom himself thoroughly, after he had spent a short time tidying up the day bed, so that no traces of their time together would be detected by anyone else. A small knock on the door let him know that John was outside. He took a silent sigh and opened the door. John had changed into some walking shorts, some beige ones, that were longer and more modest, the usual kind that he would wear around the house on a warm, balmy day.
“Glad that you’re here,” Virgil said as he gestured to John to come in and sit down at a small table that he had in his room. “Virgil, I decided to wait. I know that something is wrong. I’m only glad that you did not wait too long to tell me,” John spoke calmly, declining to sit down. He stood before him, with his arms folded in front of him. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised- you know those things instinctively, even without our being involved,” Virgil went on- he needed to sit down; he hoped that it would help him preserve his calm. “Well, John, to be frank… it is about Alan- I can tell you for sure, awhile ago, he saw us. I saw him clearly and plainly- there’s no doubt about it,”
“You don’t mean…” John’s eyes grew wide, almost becoming totally blue. “He…he saw us? When we… when we were?” “Yes, when we were doing it. I’m afraid so. The sliding door…it must have come open- no one’s fault, it’s old. I saw him clearly; the opening gave him a small, but a very clear view of… of us,” Virgil was pale and John could see his hand trembling just slightly. “He did not notice that I had seen him- apparently, he had his eyes closed by then,” Virgil gave a deep sigh as he finished.
For his part, John, who was as pale as a sheet, also sat down. He felt as if he had been sucker punched in the stomach and subsequently, he needed a chance to catch his breath. “Oh…oh…what we always feared….what we tried so hard… so desperately hard to avoid…” he said sadly. For a moment, he closed his eyes, then he opened them, looking deeply into Virgil’s. He knew that his beloved expected him to react by being horribly distraught, but it was for such a time as this that John’s true inner strength and fortitude came to the forefront. Virgil needs my strength, my support as much as I need his, he thought as his gaze burned deeply into his younger brother’s pain filled eyes.
“You know… as I said in the beginning- as long as you don’t have any regrets about loving me,” John spoke quietly. “I don’t. I love you, more than ever, John,” Virgil’s gaze grew calm; he was surprised, pleased and comforted by this show of strength- he was right; John was strong in his character and Virgil could count on it, as he always believed that he could.
“Then, we can face this together. We need to have a discussion with Alan- let him know that we know;” Virgil held John’s hand and continued to speak. “He’s got to realize that… this isn’t a game for the two of us. Perhaps in time, he’ll come to understand the love we have for one another,” John put his hand over his beloved’s and held it tightly.
“Thank goodness, we have each other. I don’t want things to be ruined for us, but the thought… the very idea that he saw us… when we were making love… that was private, personal… it wasn’t a show… it belonged to us…”, Virgil said and could not help but shed a few tears from his beautiful eyes.
“Shhh… I’d blame myself, the lock, but what good would it do?” John replied, sighing; he turned Virgil into his arms in order to hug him. “It’s just Alan…it could have been worse… far, far worse… we can be thankful for that. What we have, Alan’s accidental discovery can’t take away… we won’t let him take it away,” John’s voice was calm and firm.
“I tell you what, you rest a bit, I will too. I’ll gather my thoughts, then, I’ll ask Alan if I can talk to him, away from the house…hmmm the gazebo. It’s a nice, calm place and beyond earshot from the main house,” John took a soothing tone hoping to calm Virgil.
“Oh, please, please don’t blame yourself about the lock- I don’t. I don’t want you to be in pain, at least if I can help it- ever again,” Virgil’s eyes were still full of tears, but he spoke as firmly as he could, determined that John would not heap any guilt upon himself for what was obviously an accident, something that was no one’s fault. “Okay, I’m not taking any blame, truly, honestly… please don’t worry. There now, you need to rest, just even for a little bit. When Alan’s at the gazebo, come to us,” as John continued to remain calm, Virgil yawned, feeling less agitated.
As John saw to Virgil, helping him to lie down to rest, he left afterwards, going towards his own room. When he got there, he went to a small, quiet area of his room and settled on the floor; meditation, rather than sleep would help him now, he knew instinctively. It would, as he always knew, give him the ability to act as well as insights on how to act decisively.
The heat of the day found the Tracy household cool and comfortable, since all of them had found sanctuary from the sun and the heat. As early evening began to make its appearance, cool, brisk, trade winds, the natural air conditioner for their island home, began to do their job of cooling everything down outside.
It was at that time that Alan returned to the main house; he had showered, rested and changed his clothing during his stay at his hideaway. In his room, he looked at his books and decided that it was useless to resume his studies. Well, at least I had enough presence of mind to… before he could finish his thought, which was about being proud of the fact that despite the day’s drama, he had obtained the books he needed from John’s private library, he heard a knock on his door as well as a voice- it was John and he was asking for him.
Alan responded, bidding him to come in, momentarily forgetting to put the said books away that he was so proud of collecting without John’s notice. “Uh… hi John,” Alan said, or at least tried to say nonchalantly. “Hello to you too,” John was gentle and calm, but Alan did not notice any sternness in his voice, even as he glanced over at the 3 volumes. “You needed them to study; that’s okay, I’m sure that you were going to inform me,” John continued calmly. “Of…of course… I learned my lesson last time, believe me,” Alan finished, making an attempt to sound in a self-depreciating, joking mood.
“Well, forget about a note or anything like that, this time. I have a request; I need to have a little chat with you outside by the gazebo, it’s nice out there,” John went on. “The gazebo? Yes, it is nice, but why out there?” Alan replied hoping to hide his anxiety. “Well, besides being cooler and getting a bit of fresh air…well, I tell you what…” John said, fingering his textbooks; these were brand new ones that Alan was borrowing. Yes, his baby brother was shrewd, no doubt about it, he thought.
“Since these are my very brand new books and doubtless you are going to really hit the books tonight, possibly leaving a coffee stain or two on them and you’ll want to offer me something in exchange, say, trading extra time on my bird for the use of them; I’m going to wave that. Just instead, indulge me and come out to the gazebo oh say, in an half an hour or so? Fair enough?” John used a diplomatic tone, one that always caught Alan off-guard, it made him sound so fair-minded that anyone would look like a boor if they attempted to refuse his requests. “Sure then, anything you say and thanks. You’re probably right about the coffee stains though,” Alan laughed to hide a bit of skittishness that he was feeling- he was going to have to practice if he was going to keep this a secret from everyone, including and especially, the two main players involved, he mused.
In less than an hour, Alan found himself standing outside of the family’s gazebo, another place where they could dine away from the house, read, relax, or more often than not, have private conversations with each other, since it was beyond listening distance from the main house.
Alan was earnestly trying to devise ways in order to act around John as if he did not know anything about ‘his relationship.’ “Talk about cloak and dagger,” he whispered to himself- he wondered why it seemed so difficult for him; was it the fact that although John was in a relationship with a man, just like himself, however, his ‘significant other’ was not just anyone, but his, no their own brother?
There’s so much that I’d like to know, but is it really my business? In addition, how long had it gone on for; did anyone else know? If so, they weren’t talking; Gordon in particular, the one person who spent far more time in space with John, he had to admit, than himself.
“I’m glad that you’re here Alan, thank you,” John said, causing his youngest brother to turn his head wildly- he looked startled. “Well…I gave my word, John- why wouldn’t I be here,” his tone was testy, annoying and Alan regretted it as soon as the words echoed in his ears. John went inside of the sitting area, walking past his brother, who moved out of the way. John could feel his heart sink a little.
“I’m sorry John; I did not mean to snap at you like that…” Alan’s voice and eyes were genuinely contrite. “I know that you are studying and all- it’s probably tiring. I’ll try not to keep you here too long,” John sought to mask the sinking feeling that he felt- he was now wondering if Alan now viewed him as a vile person, rather than a loving, respectable older brother.
“That’s Virgil; he’s coming out towards here!” Alan’s sharp eyes and directness forced John to take notice. “Did you ask him to come? I thought…that…you intended to talk to me alone,” Alan finished in the same tone. “No, I did not plan on talking to you alone and I did not forget to tell you,” John anticipated his younger brother’s next question.
The tension continued to build in silence as each brother’s mind was racing with questions, opinions, fears, conclusions and tactics- trying to invent a strategy in order to deal with the situation. Alan decided after a point to be calm; if I keep acting tense, they’ll know something…or the fact that I’m hiding something. He drew himself up to his full, tall height- he had a reputation for not being afraid and he intended to live up to it.
Virgil was silent; his face was calm as he approached Alan, who noticed that he was walking in that manner of his, one that usually meant that he was determined to see a difficult situation through, no matter what. It was this, more than anything else, which let Alan know what the subject was going to be about.
“Your instincts are quite correct, Alan,” Virgil said as he went past him, going inside of the gazebo in order to sit down on the benches that were located inside of it. “I…I mean we both know-I do, because I saw you, when you were looking at us- John knows because I told him,” he finished in a calm, but firm, determined tone. For what seemed to be quite a long time, all three young men were silent. As John sat down, Alan followed suit, so as to not cause any suspicions in case someone from the house was watching.
“We…we don’t expect you to approve…or understand even,” John said quietly. “We can tell you though, we love each other deeply. Also, we’ve never abused one another, not ever- I hope that if nothing else, you know this about your elder brothers, Alan,” John finished. Alan knew this already, although he was still not talking at this point; he was still looking into their eyes. John’s were, as usual, clear and honest. Virgil’s, although, just as honest, were still holding the pain that he felt- they’re very private people; Virgil looks like my ‘peeping’ in on him, on them, made him feel well…violated, Alan mused.
“I…I can’t change what I saw and heard…but I’m sorry, very, very sorry for the obvious pain that it’s causing. You’re both the quieter, shyer ones…in the family,” Alan said contritely. “As for understanding…or accepting well, perhaps it’s the unusual lives that we lead. We’re isolated from so many others, yet also, we’ve been each other’s friends, best friends and confidants, whatever. I guess for you two; it just went forward another step,” Alan looked at Virgil as he said this, then he turned his gaze toward John and continued.
“John, you’ve well… you’ve always been easy going, but just ‘getting by.’ Only someone, well, perhaps just me- could see that for a lot of the time, that you were lonely, missing something. However, you never complained and Virgil just being your friend brought you some happiness. But now…all of this- it doesn’t show, hardly like…well, being exposed or anything, but you’re truly happy now, really and truly. Virgil’s happy in a different way, different, but no less happy. Besides, when it comes right down to it, you’re both my brothers and my friends too and you still are friends to me too…after all of this, I hope.
Given everything- I can’t judge; I wouldn’t even want to try- I love you both and…what I’m really trying to say is…I…understand…a little and I’m not repulsed, if that was what you were both afraid of. What happened today…well, I’ll take it to the grave, if that’s your concern. We’re blood- we are in many ways, a part of one another.”
As Virgil felt calmer and could sense the pain leaving his eyes, John was overcome- he felt a lump in his throat, one that he finally decided not to swallow. Instead, he let the tears run down his cheeks; his words were inaudible. “This…this means more…more to the two of us… I can, than we can say,” Virgil spoke, realizing that he was speaking for the two of them.
“Yes…thank you, thank you so much, Alan,” John said as a sob escaped from his lips. “Aww…what are brothers for?” Alan smiled softly. “Two things though- one: I know that this is a ‘huggable’ moment, but maybe some other time- we don’t want to give anything away…and two, this may not be the right moment to say this, John, but I want to anyway. I promise that I’ll be real careful with your textbooks tonight; no coffee stains and if one happens, I’ll buy you a new volume- no arguments, okay?” Alan wanted to have that devilish twinkle in his eye, but he suppressed the urge- this was too important a moment for that. John, in turn nodded approvingly of his offer.
“I think that we’d best split up for now. We can meet…later at supper after composing ourselves? On evenings like this, Kyrano is inclined to serve supper after 2000,” Virgil was the one who was conscious of the time. Each of the brothers nodded in silence and agreement and watched as Alan, now cheery, a weight taken off of his shoulders at last, was the first to walk away.
“You know, Alan’s different, he’s… he’s really grown up now,” John said at last, being alone with Virgil was helping him to regain his composure. “Yes, he did sort of say it all, didn’t he?” Virgil was pondering the same thing. “I’m so glad to have him for a brother…and a friend,” John smiled now. “See you…later on then,” Virgil rose up and waved as he walked away. Without a doubt, John knew that this meant not only would they share a nice supper, but that some cuddling into the wee hours, perhaps, was also in store as well.
John watched Virgil walk towards the house- for himself, he was on his way to the beach. Being of almost one mind, perhaps, John thought, Virgil might have been wondering, just as he was himself was wondering, what could have made Alan so mature and poised now. Or maybe, John’s inner, instinctual voice was whispering to him: ‘what’ was the wrong term- perhaps, a better term was ‘who?’
O Fim