Hi, I’m Brandy. I’m 28 yo Bi Sub, 5”4”, 115 lbs, blonde hair, brown eyes, 32C breasts with permanently erect nipples (have been my whole life), and a shaved pussy. I’ve been a Sub most my life although I didn’t know it for quite a while. I do prefer men, but I am now a very well trained obedient Sub and will do whatever I’m told to by a Dom or Femdom. If you’ve read my some of my other posts about my journey finding out who I am and what my needs are, I hope you enjoyed it; if not let me repeat a little of the intro. My OBGYN once asked me how often I liked to have sex and I told her at least 2 hours a day. She seemed to have misunderstood and asked how many days a week and when I said every day she paused, wrote something in my chart and told me I was “oversexed”. I asked if that was a problem and she said only if it interferes with your life. I almost laughed as it is my favorite part of my life and told her it wasn’t a problem. She didn’t ask any more questions, but I suspect she realized that explained the various marks and bruises in private areas of my body.
I have several Doms I see often and even now two Femdoms that I visit infrequently. But I like variety and my sexual appetite is almost insatiable so I need to see different people for different experiences. I am upfront with them and my Doms all know about the others. Everything in my life was fine until one of my Doms contracted COVID-19, so I had to quarantine for 10 days and get tested regularly; well guess what even though I have no symptoms I tested positive which means now I have to remain in quarantine until I have 3 negative tests on three separate days. This is a serious problem ! I’ve tried phone, video, etc. but none of it works for me; I have to be with someone to orgasm. So I thought I’d write down some of my experiences of being a Sub and share them. After reading the wonderful and thoughtful comments people left me on my prior posts, I am so happy you enjoyed them. I must say reliving each of these experiences as I write them has been cathartic for me. I wrote this post before my last one, but was hesitant to post it because first I wasn’t sure the sites editors would allow it and second I didn’t want to inadvertently give anyone a sense of false confidence. I want to be clear, what I did here was reckless and I could have been permanently injured or killed so please do not attempt this as it is meant to be a cautionary post.
I met one Dom right after I graduated college that was exceptionally strict. Another Fem Sub that I knew told me about him and said he was too strict for her, but she thought he would be a good fit for me. She was definitely right about that. He trained me very well, including training me to cum only on command which let me tell you is not a course I’d recommend to anyone not able to handle a lot of punishment over a long period of time. I mentioned in my last post that I grew up and still live in NYC and my mother enrolled me in a Taekwondo dojo when I was young so I could protect myself. I stuck with it all the way through college attaining the rank of second Dan. After college I joined a MMA training facility and learned a Brazilian style of Jiu Jitsu; until they closed gyms down due to COVID-19, I was eager to fight anyone in the cage full contact three times a week. But whereas this is not what this post is about, it was relevant to understand parts of what happened. Note that any names are made up but the story is true.
I was hanging out one night at a local bar that was frequented by Doms and Subs I knew. A guy named “Jim” that I had never met before had sat next to me at the bar and struck up a conversation. He was tall, black hair, brown eyes and very muscular. After probing a little he came right out and asked me if I was a Sub, to which I replied “yes”. He said he was a Dom and asked me if I was looking for someone like him. I found him attractive and since I didn’t know him very well yet I refrained from telling him that I had several Doms already but was always interested in meetimg new Doms who could provide new experiences. So instead I simply said “yes, Sir”. He asked me if I wanted to join him for a glass of wine at his apartment and I agreed, but first I excused myself to go to the restroom. Note that even though I frequent a number of local bars I always limit myself to one drink; the bartenders all know this (I tip them well) and we have a code when I switch to “vodka on the rocks” they bring me water instead. With the active life I lead I need to stay hydrated, plus alcohol dulls the senses and I never want to miss a single sensation when submitting to my Dom’s wishes. I was washing my hands and when I went to grab a paper towel to dry them, a girl who looked very nervous came over to me and whispered “don’t go home with him, he’s a rapist”; then she quickly walked out and I didn’t see her again when I came out of the restroom. I thought about what she said and seeing the wounded look in her teary eyes made me want to take Jim out in the alley and beat him to a pulp, but I opted instead to do what I said above was really reckless and see exactly who Jim was and what he would try do to me.
Jim was the perfect gentleman so far and even stood up when I came back to sit down at the bar. I called for the bartender “Jack” who I knew well and said “that’s all for me tonight, please put it on my tab and slid him a twenty dollar tip saying thanks Jack”. Jim said, “I’m done as well, let me take care of you bar bill” but I didn’t want Jim to know how little I had to drink and that I was perfectly sober. Thankfully, Jack pretended not to hear him turned around and added the one drink I had earlier to my tab with a few taps on the register’s screen. Jack then tapped the screen a few more times and presented Jim with just his bill. Jim looked at it and said to Jack “wait; only my drinks are on here and I said I would pay for Brandy”. Jack was a seasoned bartender and said “sorry dude, I already added them to her tab” then turned around and started taking an order from someone else at the bar. I could tell Jim was pissed, but paid his bill in cash which I found unusual but then realized it would be harder to trace him to having been here without a credit card charge. We started to stand up, Jack had regained his composure and held my seat for me as I stepped down with him playing the gentleman and me the helpless petite little Sub. I said “thank you Sir”.
When we got outside, Jack said he was parked down the street and we started to walk in that direction. I asked him where he lived and he gave me an uptown location not anywhere close to where we were; which made me think of course he wouldn’t hunt in his own backyard. Jim pressed the key fob and I could see he was driving a late model E-class Mercedes; I pretended to be impressed saying “nice ride”. He held the door for me, closed it, then walked around and got in the driver’s side. When he started the car classical music started playing; Jim turned to me and asked is the music OK for you and I replied “yes Sir”. We drove uptown and the traffic was light so we arrived fairly quickly at this apartment building. Jim pulled the car into an underground garage and pulled into a numbered space. We got out of the car, Jack again coming around and holding the door for me; with me repeating “thank you Sir”. We took the elevator to Jack’s apartment which was a fairly good size for the area he lived in NYC. It was decorated in a very minimalist way, but everything looked immaculate and relatively new. Jim asked if I preferred white or red wine and I replied “whatever pleases you Sir”. Jim went to the kitchen and opened a bottle of chilled white wine as I started to look around his apartment and checked out the view from his window.
When Jim came back he said “here” and I turned around expecting to receive a glass of wine. Instead Jim sucker punched me in my left eye and I dropped to one knee. That punch would probably knocked any other girl out but my reflexes were well honed and although I couldn’t dodge it I did manage to turn my head just as he struck me so it was more of a glancing blow. I was thinking I was such an idiot, I shouldn’t have let me guard down from the moment we left that bar but too late now. What Jim didn’t know was that from the kneeling position I was in I could have easily taken him down and subdued him, so I had a choice to make now as to whether to stop him now or let him continue to see what he would do next. I opted for the latter, I was going to have the full experience that my unnamed sister’s who came before me had so I could fully understand their pain. I kneeled there motionless breathing hard trying not to disclose the anger I felt. Jim kicked me in my side bruising two of my ribs, but I was used to being kicked by semi-professional fighters and simply rolled into a protective ball. Jim pulled me up by my hair and dragged me into the bedroom; then threw me face first on the bed. Still holding my hair with one hand he undid my pants; then reach down to pull my shoes, pants and panties off quickly. He let go of my hair and pushed my shirt and bra both up at the same time so they were jammed under my armpits. He squeezed my nipples very hard and I realized if I didn’t start to play the role he might become suspicious, so I cried which wasn’t so hard because my eye was really starting to swell and throb. I pretended to sob “please stop” which is exactly what he wanted hear and replied “you know you want this you filthy little wh*re””. He spread my legs using his knees; then pushed his hard cock into my dry pussy which really did hurt so I was able to cry louder.
Jim proceeded to hold me down with his hands squeezing my waist hard and rape me; I remained there motionless wondering how many girls had been in this exact same spot before me. After pounding my dry pussy for a while Jim said “cum you little wh*re” which he had no way of know would actually make me cum but only because I was trained to cum on command. I moaned loudly and my body shook as I came with Jim still pounding my pussy. He said “I knew you liked it you wh*re” and fucked me harder digging his knees into my thighs bruising them; fortunately his command to cum made my pussy wet so it wasn’t as painful now. After a few more minutes Jim thrust deep inside me and said “take this” as I felt his throbbing cock fill my pussy with cum. After he came he slid his cock out of my pussy and stood back, I suspect either to catch his breath, wait to see his cum drip out of my pussy, or both. However, I was done with this now; I had experienced the full humiliation, self doubt and emotional pain that a rape victim feels and now I would take control of the situation.
I quickly turned over, pulled my shirt down and reached for my pants and shoes but only to lure him closer as I watched out of the corner of my good eye I saw the center of his body moving toward me. Sitting on the bed with my head still down I waited until he was close and he grabbed my hair, then stood up lunging into a forward stance driving the palm of my hand directly upward striking his nose so hard I could feel the cartridge crunch. Jim screamed, let go of my hair and grabbed his nose with both hands; his nose was bleeding profusely. I immobilized him grabbing his arm and shoulder, stepped next to him with my left leg and then with a downward side kick I struck the side of his knee with full force; I could hear it snap and Jim fell to the ground letting out a shriek. I deftly slipped around behind him and grabbed him in a choke hold; Jim flailed his arms at me weakly for a few seconds but I choked him out quickly. I took his pulse and made sure he was still breathing; I felt I had every right to hurt him as he had hurt so many others but I knew it would be wrong for me to kill him.
I sat down next to him lying there sleeping off the choke hold; I figured I had about two minutes before he would regain consciousness, not that he posed a threat any longer but I wanted to be gone by the time he realized what had happened. I dressed quickly, intentionally letting his cum drip in my panties which I kept as evidence. Then I had a terrible thought and kneeled down next to him again. Using my thumb nail I carved a little jagged “R” into side of his forehead to brand him as a rapist and leave a scar that would be hard to conceal. Jim started to stir and I realized I needed to leave quickly. His nose was bleeding so profusely I was a little concerned so using a cloth from the kitchen to conceal my fingerprints I took his cell phone off the table put it near him and dialed 911. I left knowing that the 911 operator would trace the phone even if he didn’t wake up and get EMS to help him. I left the door unlocked and slightly ajar so as to make it easy for someone to find him. I didn’t care how he tried to put a spin on this when they asked him what happened, I had done what I had come to do and was finished with him now.
I took the stairs and went out a side door. I walked over to a major avenue where I knew there would be a lot of people around and then walked all the way back to my neighborhood in midtown. I went to a nearby hospital ER and told the person at the intake desk that I was assaulted. By then my eye was very swollen and discolored so it was clear I wasn’t making this up; I was handed me a clipboard and asked to fill out the paperwork attached. I then sat in the waiting room with everyone else; fortunately it was fairly empty that night. They eventually called me back to another room where they asked a barrage of questions about the incident. I told the truth, but was actually now starting to feel the trauma I could see in the girls eyes who had warned me about Jim so I intentionally left a lot of the details out saying things like “I’m not sure” or “for some reason I can’t remember”. The woman taking my information was very sympathetic and told me some of the memories might come back to me in time, but it sounded like I might have been drugged in which case I might never remember. She told me several times to remember this was not my fault.
After the interview, I was taken to an examining room where a male doctor accompanied by a female nurse asked many of the same questions. The doctor explained they were going to do a rape kit and proceeded to collect semen samples as well as taking pictures of my wounds which were now starting to turn black. When they were done I got dressed and pulled to curtain back only to see that there were two police officers outside waiting; one male and one female. Clearly they had done this before because the male officer waited outside the room while the female officer sat down next to me and asked almost all of the same questions I had already answered twice. She was professionally unemotional but also used a very calm considerate tone with me. The one thing she asked which was new was did I think I could identify the person who assaulted me if I saw him again and I replied “definitely”. But based on the vague de***********ion I gave them and the fact he was all the way uptown I doubted they would find him. The officer gave me the numbers for a rape counselor and a local support group, encouraging me to use them. When she was done, she handed me the report she wrote asking me to read and sign it validating that she had represented what I said correctly.
When I was done they discharged me and asked if I needed them to call someone to take me home. I thanked them but declined. They pressed saying I really shouldn’t be alone tonight, but I assured them I lived close by and would call a friend if I needed support. I still had my self confidence and was running on the high I got from taking down that scum of a rapist. But after I got home, I started to have self doubts. Was a guy like Jim whose ego is bigger than the room he’s standing in going to let this go ? I knew he’d be hospitalized and in physical therapy for a while, but what if he came after me months from now seeking revenge ? What if he had a gun and I couldn’t evade him when he came after me. Then I had a worse thought, what if he sent friends of his to attack me or gang rape me. I didn’t own a gun nor did I want one but started carrying unconventional legal weapons I had trained with like throwing darts strapped to my shoulder and a spring loaded folding baton strapped to my lower back. I stopped walking alone late at night unless I was very close to home. I stopped seeing new Doms unless I had them fully vetted, preferably with a reference from a friend who I trusted. I realized this is just a taste of the fear those poor girls who went before me must be living with maybe for the rest of their lives.
I still wonder to this day what would have happened if that girl hadn’t warned me about Jim before I went home with him. Because they both have a similar persona, a Dom and a rapist can appear the same until you find out which is which and then it’s too late. This is the end of my cautionary post and to all of my fellow Subs who read this, irrespective of your sexual orientation please be careful and learn from my mistake.