I gave my brief speech at a porn convention. “Men, my name is Ken Travers. I haven’t been paid to do this endorsement. I’m a huge fan of Bimbotech and all their products. I don’t even smoke, but Bimbo Lights have improved my life and the lives of all my friends drastically. Give some to a female smoker and she’ll change into a hot and horny idiot within minutes. If a girl doesn’t smoke, have her smell one and she’ll want to try it.
Ladies of the sex industry, smoking Bimbo Lights is the best thing you can do to further your career. They’ll make your breasts grow until you have at least a pair of 36 double-D’s, even for Asian girls under 5 feet tall. They thin your legs and waist and plump up your butt. They erase stretch marks and smooth out facial wrinkles, too. They even block most of the pain from taking huge toys or cocks in your pussy, receiving anal sex, or wearing super-high heels all day! Best of all, they prevent pregnancy!
Whether you smoke or not, even if you don’t know any women who currently smoke, I strongly advise you to buy Bimbo Lights if you’re ever lucky enough to find them. Get at least a dozen cartons, if you can. Trust me, you’ll be overjoyed you did.”
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FIVE YEARS EARLIER
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My Dad was a long-haul trucker, so he was only home for a couple of days, 2 or 3 times a month. When I was little he had played basketball and other sports with me often, but over the last few years I barely saw him.
I thought it was very odd Mom was a nurse but smoked cigarettes. She was overly concerned with every little detail of my health, including how many times I’d had a bowel movement or peed. How many times did I have wet dreams or masturbate in the last week? Was my urine overly dark or light? Did I have any itching, genital pain, or unusual penile discharge? Was I using condoms with the non-existent girls who were willing to come within arm’s reach of me?
I guess her working at a free clinic and seeing a lot of unplanned pregnancies and diseases every day explained at least part of that, but it was terribly uncomfortable and embarrassing. I dreaded talking to her, since there was no telling when she would ask excessively private questions. I guessed she was better looking than average for her age, but she was my Mom and around 40. That meant I only thought about her while I masturbated a few times a month, then felt guilty about it for days afterward.
My oldest sister Elizabeth was beautiful but a self-righteous hypocrite. It was even worse, since her fiancée was a young preacher and they mentioned either Jesus or God an average of twice a sentence. I knew she’d dated at least ten other guys before her current fiancé and slept with at least half of them, but at least once a day I’d overhear her tell somebody how glad she was she decided to save herself for her husband-to-be. She insisted they weren’t having sex yet, though they recently moved to a small one-bedroom apartment and I’d seen used condoms in their trash.
It was also unfortunate she was no good at cooking and they visited us for dinner several times a week. I knew she had been smoking for years. She always denied it, even when Mom found cigarettes and lighters in her purse. Any time I’d change my sheets or she heard noise from my room at night, she’d tell me how evil it was to pleasure myself and how I was going to Hell for it. She was a very pretty blonde with a slender figure and green eyes. I thought about her as I jacked off nearly every night, usually imagining how great it would be to shove my dick in her mouth to shut her up.
My other sister Caroline was only a year and a half older than I was. We had been friends since we were little kids, but suddenly she turned into a raging bitch. We had gotten along great until she started dating Jenny, a slender redhead, and became a butch lesbian and radical feminist. One evening I had politely asked her to bring me some toilet paper because I was stuck on the upstairs toilet without any. I covered my crotch with my hands and blushed intensely as she gave me a lecture. Before passing me a roll, she ranted about evil misogynistic men like me oppressing women and forcing them into menial tasks like cooking, having babies, and bringing toilet paper. I was especially disappointed she had started smoking cigars. She had large breasts and a curvy butt like Mom. I thought she had been pretty until she quit wearing skirts and chopped most of her dark curly hair off. I’d frequently shake my snake remembering what she used to look like.
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My friends Josh, Ricky, Andy, and Wil were all typical college freshman nerds, like I was. Since we were straight, that meant we had three times the sex drive of our fathers but no outlet for it other than masturbation. Most of the young women in my classes were just in college to get their ‘MRS degree’, marriage to a guy who would become a rich lawyer, doctor, or pro sports star. No girl with any self-respect would be caught dead with a young math major, especially my two gorgeous crushes Wendy and Rachel. I think half the other guys in our classes had crushes on them too.
Every school day for the last two weeks, my friends and I had gone to Ricky’s house after our last class. Since you needed to be 21 to buy porn in our overly conservative state, he had stolen a precious porno magazine and we took turns jerking off with it in his basement bathroom. Most of the time 10 minutes was more than enough. The rare times anybody was in the bathroom longer than 10 minutes we’d pound on the door, ask if they knew what they were doing, offer to sell them Viagra, and generally humiliate the slowpoke. After some video games and two or three turns in the bathroom, I’d reluctantly go home.
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On Saturday morning I woke when my mother climbed in bed with me nude. I thought it was just the start of another wet dream until she spoke. “Sorry I embarrass you with a lot of sex questions.”
I opened my eyes and stared at her big breasts from inches away. Her erect nipples were as big as the ends of my thumbs! “Um… Mom, why are you naked?”
“How about another sex question? Can I have sex with you? Hehehehe!” She giggled madly and reached for my swelling penis.
I wondered if she was on drugs or had suddenly gone insane. Or if I did. “Are you okay, Mom?”
“I feel GREAT! I’ll be even better with your dick in me. Hehehe! Lay on your back.” She climbed on top of me and slid my cock inside her hot wet slit. I’d never felt more excited or confused.
“But… but, Mom…”
As one of her heavy breasts bounced on my chin repeatedly, she said, “Call me Becky! That’s my name.”
“This feels SO GOOD, Becky! AAAGH! UUUH!” The first time I had sex with another person, I shot my sperm deep into the belly I’d lived in for nine months. It felt AMAZING, though.
She licked my lips then said, “I’m gonna roll over, it’s better with the guy on top. Hehehe!”
I rolled with her and started thrusting away without my cock going soft from my recent climax. She moaned and complimented me, “Mmmmmm! I love fucking! And I love fucking my boy SO MUCH! YEAAAHHHH!”
Her pelvis spasmed as she climaxed. I kept jackhammering away, clutching her huge hooters. I gave her several minor orgasms before I came like a volcano. I gave her a huge load as my body shook. “YESSSS BECKY!”
I rolled off her and laid on my back panting, as Mom moved down and licked me clean. She said, “You taste good, but I need another cigarette. Do you want to try my butt while I smoke? It’ll be so dirty and naughty. Heheheh!”
I followed her nude to her bedroom, admiring her curvy ass on the way. She laid on her belly and took a cigarette from a pack of Bimbo Lights. As she lit up, I wondered about her body. She looked much sexier than she had only the previous day. Her legs were almost slender instead of chunky, and it looked like her breasts had grown a little. The wrinkles at the corners of her eyes were gone. I realized I had been staring when she asked, “If you don’t want my butt, you can do my pussy again?”
“No, I want it! I definitely want it!” I had heard something about it being important to start anal very slowly, and carefully slid just the tip of my penis through her tight anal ring.
“I know it’s longer than that. Get it in me, baby.”
I happily did, pushing the rest of my rod into her rectum. I was astounded at the tremendous pleasure I felt. “AAAAAH! This is SO GREAT!”
“Your Dad loves it too. I never let him until he gave me Bimbo Lights yesterday, but I like it in my butt now. Hehehehe!”
After shooting a load deep into her ass, I laid atop her with my dick still inside. “SO GREAT, Becky! Wow!” I started thrusting again without going soft, and ecstatically sprayed another wad into her colon after a few minutes.
“I used to hate anal, cause it hurt. When I started smoking these, it got good. I didn’t like it much before, but I LOVE regular sex now, too. I LOVE FUCKING SO FUCKING MUCH! Hehehe! Your Dad says all bimbos do. Hehehehe!” She held up the pack of Bimbo lights and took a big puff. She sadly said, “I like these so much, but I only have two left.”
“Then you need to go buy more! A LOT more!”
“Why didn’t I think of that? Maybe I’m just a dumb bimbo. Hehehehe! But a hot and sexy one.” She squeezed a huge breast to prove her point. “Do you want a blowjob, or maybe my pussy again?”
“I… I wish I could. After cumming four times, I need a break!”
She sadly replied, “Awwwh! Your sister Carol likes girls. Maybe she’ll do it with me if I give her a Bimbo Light?”
“Uh… that would be GREAT to see, but she won’t be home until tomorrow night. She’s at that feminist retreat meeting thing.”
“I guess I have to do it myself, then.” She took another puff and blew a thin stream of white toward the door. “Go in my top dresser drawer and hand me my new toy.”
I was aroused and disgusted at the same time, as I saw it was a black dildo nearly the size of my forearm! It had to be two inches across and over a foot long! “Uh, Mom? This thing fits in you?”
“Nearly anything fits in a bimbo. Hehehehe! Just watch, baby.” I stared as she put it in her mouth to wet it. I felt my eyes were about to pop out when she swallowed the tip and kept inserting the huge toy. I was astonished she managed to get nearly the entire thing past her luscious lips! There had to be at least six inches in her throat!
She pulled the massive rubber dong from her mouth, slid it into her pussy, then lit up another Bimbo Light. I felt myself harden again as I watched her smoke and stuff herself with the enormous toy cock.
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