Being More Social – Chapters 11-15

Chapter Eleven

Granted, if one looked at it objectively, Nicole quitting Student Council wasn’t exactly horrific. If it wasn’t Nicole, I might have even labeled it ‘teen drama.’ Nevertheless I still mirrored her sad expression.

“Is it that bad?” I asked her.

She nodded as she drove, then sighed. “I didn’t wanna tell you because I figure it would put a rain cloud over our hanging out time.” She paused, then spoke with an uncharacteristically small voice. “Want me to just drop you off at home?”

“No!” I all but shouted.

Nicole recovered somewhat. “Good, because I haven’t been able to hang out with Single Adam in a long while, and I miss him.”

“It’s all about sex with you, isn’t it?” I asked her slyly, somewhat relieved myself that we got over the topic of her quitting and onto something a bit more happy.

“Hey, I never mentioned sex.” She replied with her own sly voice. I made the mistake of letting silence creep into the conversation, and she picked up right where she left off. “But yeah, I’m definitely quitting. It’s like… I don’t want to leave but I’d rather be a bit sad because I left then go through awkward hell every week until the year is over, y’know?”

Whenever Nicole spoke with a flustered voice, it was all too clear that she was upset, or at least more upset than she wanted to overtly show. I didn’t ever dare call her out on that or even make note, because then she might go to lengths to hide it, and I was barely at the point where I could start reading her.

I didn’t respond, mainly because I didn’t know what the heck to say, and Nicole took note of that. “Sorry.” She flatly said. “So what do you wanna do?”

“You could try talking to Phil or something.” I weakly suggested, ignoring her attempt to change the conversation. Nicole was always the one suggesting ways to make my life better. I felt like I owed it to her to do the same.

“I don’t want to.” She simply answered.

“But if you did, and you reached some kind of compromise or something…” I trailed off.

“There’s nothing to compromise about.” She turned to face me, despite still driving. “Being in the same room as Phil is the problem. There’s nothing I can do to solve that, let alone you.” She turned back to the road, to my relief. “No offense.” She tossed over her shoulder.

“None taken.” I muttered. I knew my place. I may have come a long way, but I was nowhere near Nicole’s level. It sure did seem silly, though, that she was able to solve the most monumental problems of others, and yet seemed to be unable to solve her own.

“I want you to stay on the council.” I added after another silence.

“I kinda figured that.” she shot back. “I wanna stay too. It just… It just would lead to icky stuff.”

“But what if in a month you can tolerate being in the same room as him again?” I blurted out. “Would it have been worth it to quit?”

“And what if this is hard enough as it is and I don’t need my friend badgering me about a decision that was difficult enough to make by myself?” Nicole asked me, lowering an eyebrow but keeping her eyes on the road.

I broke out in a grin. If I hadn’t known any better, I would say it caught her off guard. “So I’ve graduated to the ranking of ‘friend,’ have I, your highness?” I asked her sarcastically.

A mix between angry and holding back a giggle splashed across Nicole’s face. “Oh my god.” She muttered, giving me a gentle shove. “You are such a dinkus.”

Dinkus. Yet another word I’m sure many highschoolers used that I didn’t know. Either way, it was good to change the subject and see her give off a smile of some kind. “You’re a dinkus.” I replied lamely. I thought I would have had a better comeback but nothing came to me in time.

“Oh snap. Good one.” She replied sarcastically. “Yeah, but only because ‘fuck buddy’ is an outdated term.”

“Really?” I asked her, almost serious. “I would have thought a term like ‘fuck buddy’ would be relatively modern.”

“Is ‘swag’ outdated?” Nicole asked me, smiling triumphantly already at my answer.

“Point taken.” I admitted begrudgingly, in time for us to arrive at her home. Taking off my seatbelt, I hopped out of the car and noticed that the car matched Nicole’s attire and hair – all black.

“Hey, Nicole.” I semi-shouted.

“Yo.” She whisked around just before opening her front door.

“What’s with the black?” I asked. “I mean, you, the car…”

“Oh my God, Adam.” Nicole responded. “You can’t just ask a car why it’s black.”

She noted my blank stare and waved me off. “Never mind. I dunno, I just like it. It’s a nice base, like a template. If I wear black all the time, it’s like a constant. Nobody knows me for how I dress because they always just see the same thing. Suddenly it’s who I am, not what I wear, that becomes so important. I was gonna do it with white, but it gets dirty so easily.”

“Oh, so you’re a special snowflake.” I said with a wink.

“You know me too well, squirt.” She replied with a wink of her own, before reaching for the doorknob.

“I’m surprised you’re not better friends with Paul.” I remarked, to no one in particular.

Without seeing her face, I could see that she visibly hesitated. Pulling her hand from the doorknob but not moving to face me, she asked, “Paul who?”

I scratched my head. “Paul… Stevens.”

She chuckled intently. “Oh boy.” She murmured. “We’re gonna have a conversation, aren’t we?” Without waiting for me to process what she said, let alone respond to it, she opened the door and waltzed in.

“Hi mommy, hi daddy!” She sang gleefully, taking her coat off and throwing it on to the coat rack, kind of like in the movies. “I have Adam with me so please leave any disappointment in the jar to your left.”

I shot her a look as I took my boots off. She looked at me for about a second before breaking into a full grin. Once we had all of our winter gear off we marched into the kitchen where her parents were waiting. As usual, Mr. Baker was sitting at the kitchen table, now reading A Tale of Two Cities. Mrs. Baker was sitting at the table too, doing some kind of paperwork.

“Welcome home.” She said half-pleasantly, then looked at me with no amusement in her eyes. “Oh, hello, Arnold.”

“Adam.” I corrected her.

“Don’t.” Nicole said to me in a whisper. I looked over to her and saw she was holding her face in her hand.

Mrs. Baker attached her gaze back to Nicole. “So, you’re back with him?” She asked her. “Isn’t Phil going to be upset by this?”

“The council meeting? Oh, it went fine, mum.” Nicole answered annoyedly. Her mother appeared to have a talent for getting under her skin.

“Ah, so he broke up with you, huh?” Mrs. Baker asked, giving Nicole the stone-faced stare of a lifetime. “How unfortunate. It’s almost as if I told you it would happen.”

“I broke up with him.” Nicole said weakly, her hand still covering her face.

“What did you expect, sweetheart?” Her mother added in a coaxing voice. Whether she was being sarcastic or not, I couldn’t tell. “They were raised in the same family. Do you know how Einstein defined insanity?”

“Okay, mom, can we not start this shit when we have a guest over, please?” Nicole asked in an exasperated tone. “If you need to tell me anything, just put it in the jar.”

I looked at her, confused. She motioned to the kitchen counter. There was a jar labelled ‘disappointments’ with a few pieces of writing in it. I almost chuckled to myself. That was so funny, in a very sad way.

Mrs. Baker stood up and walked by us, observing us. She stopped at me, and looked me right in the face. “It’s fine,” She finally said. “Go have your fun. Supper’s at six. Warn me if Adam is staying over.”

Nicole sighed. “Maman, donnez-moi une chance.” She spoke in perfect French. ” Ce garçon est différent. Je n’aime pas comment vous me parlez quand je suis avec mes amis.”

“Je le ferais peut-être si tu arrêtais de coucher avec tes amis et de déshonorer ta famille.” Her mother fired back. “Tu aimes dire ‘il est différent’ à chaque fois tu as un nouveau mec qui ne cherche toujours qu’une relation sexuelle.” It was awkward enough being in the middle of their debate, let alone not knowing what they were saying. Plus, to be blunt, it was French.

“Vous ne voulez pas comprendre! Ce n’est pas juste!” Nicole protested. “Oui, je suis une putain. Alors, quoi? Pourquoi est-ce que je suis inférieure simplement parce que j’aime les rapports? Vous devriez être heureuse que je suis honnête avec vous!”

Nicole’s tone was getting angry, and she was starting to breathe heavier as well. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but feel like this was a more common occurrence in this house than I would have liked to admit, even though the French part confused me. Finally, Mr. Baker cleared his throat. “Nicole, if you’re going to have the boy over, go to your room.” He declared with his low, gravelly voice. “We’ve got things to take care of down here, and your tone is not appreciated.”

Nicole’s gaze went from her mom, to her dad, to her mom again. “C’est des conneries,” she muttered in disgust as she loudly trudged up the stairs. After sneaking one last look at her parents, I followed her upstairs to her room, where I found her lying face-down on her bed.

“You okay?” I asked her gently, sitting next to her.

“Parents fucking suck sometimes.” She muttered into the sheets. “I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

“Don’t be too sorry, Jean Valjean.” I quipped. “I had no clue what the hell you were saying. What was with the French?”

She lifted her head up lazily. “It’s a system my family thought up. When we want to talk but keep it private with other people in the room, we say it in French. It used to be Spanish, but as Spence, Mitch and I got older more and more people our age would pick up on what we said.” A small smile began to show on her face. “We used to do it for fun things. Making fun of strangers whenever we were out as a family, gossiping… We even pretended to be a family from France on vacation once. It kinda backfired since the first people we talked to turned out to be from Quebec.” Her head flopped back down on to the mattress. “Canadians suck sometimes too.”

My hand caressed her back gently. “I think it’s really cool that you know French.” I said supportively.

“You’re just saying that because mom tore me a fourty-seventh asshole today.” She mumbled into her sheets.

“Does she do it often?” I asked her.

Nicole lifted herself up, eventually moving to a sitting position on the edge of the bed. My hand never left her back. “Not in French,” she commented, resting her head on my shoulder. “Whenever she feels like it though, she just goes for it.”

“What did you say?” I asked her.

“No offense, squirt, but if I wanted to say it in front of you, I would have spoken English.” She said, moving her head so she could stare me directly in the eye.

I didn’t respond. We sat there for a good few moments until Nicole got up and paced for a little bit. Afterwards, she stretched, and casually stripped away her two layers of shirts, leaving herself topless.

“Should I be taking the hint?” I asked jokingly.

“Take off your shirt too if my boobs bother you.” Nicole shot back with a wink. She then sat back down on the bed. Instinctively, my hand went to caress her breast.

“I mean, why else would you take your shirt off with me here?” I asked her teasingly.

She looked at me with an eyebrow arched. “Actually, if you want me to be honest, I do this all the time.” She informed me. “I realize you may not quite get this, but boobs are kind of a big load. Especially when they’re as big as mine. And especially especially when you’re a fucking idiot that doesn’t wear a bra.”

“Then why don’t you?” I asked, my hand still caressing her.

She shrugged. “I dunno. They’re too restricting, too tight. I guess my skin is kinda sensitive.” She answered. “But real talk, usually the first thing I do when I get home is lose the shirt. It’s not even a horny thing, it’s just, like… Freedom. Plus, I mean…” She shooed my hand away and grabbed her breasts in her hands. “Boobs. Fuckin’ boobs. These things are awesome. They’re heavy and annoying. but when I’m bored, I just sorta grab them or something.”

I chuckled, and also had to admit to myself that I liked where this conversation was going. “Don’t you ever turn yourself on?” I asked, hoping to get her in the mood.

“Actually, not really.” She replied, stone-faced. Well, that was a misfire, I thought to myself. “Guys love to think that every girl’s boobs are like these two pleasure buttons, and the bigger the girl’s boobs are, the more horny she feels from them getting touched. Yeah, that’s actually not really true at all. Truth be told, even when a guy is doing everything right, sometimes I don’t even feel anything from someone touching my nips or hell, even sucking on ’em. Plus, studies have shown that it’s actually the smaller boobs that feel more pleasure. I think I have one or two of those saved in my browser’s bookmarks if you wanna-”

“I’m… good, thanks.” I interrupted. It was clear I lost on that front.

She shrugged. “Whatever. Your loss.” She said, falling backwards and laying down on the bed, her boobs in her hands.

“So those times where I suck your nipples are just for nothing?” I asked, admittedly curious at this point.

“Not all of them, don’t worry.” She responded flatly. “Plus, the more sexually charged I am, the more I enjoy it, and let’s be honest.” She lifted her head and gave me a naughty grin. “I’m one horny little bitch.”

Now’s your chance, the voice in my head told me. Make a move.

Before I could she continued. “Maybe I should start wearing a bra.” She said, setting her head back down again. “The only problem is, in my size, they charge like fifty fucking dollars. For boob cups on a strap. That’s just stupid. Plus, I like the free feel. Some girls don’t like that I don’t wear a bra, like that in itself is slutty and it somehow insults all girls that I could let men objectify me or something.”

That sounds like something Jenna would say, I thought to myself.

“But to me, the more sexually open I am, then yeah, guys will view me as a sex doll, but the more they seem to just have a good time with me and appreciate me for who I am. It’s kinda nice to just embrace your flaws and know that others will accept you for it, even knowing that it’s mostly because they hope you’ll blow them underneath the bleachers or something.”

“That sounds like something straight out of a porn movie.” I commented.

Nicole grinned. “Yeah, kinda.” She replied. “I bet that’s where I got the idea for it too.” Suddenly, her eyes widened and she shot up. “Oh, right! Paul! We were totally gonna talk about him.”

“Paul’s the dude you blew under the bleachers?!” I asked her in disbelief. For some odd reason, I didn’t like picturing Paul ever doing anything sexual.

“Ew, God no.” Nicole replied. Apparently, neither did she. “I never did anything with him. I just sorta remembered. You mentioned him earlier.”

“Yeah, you both wear black a lot.” I answered lamely. “Plus you both really like to ‘real talk.’ Although the think you do it more because you feel like it, and he does it more to feel superior and give advice.”

Nicole sat up again. “Right?!” She asked excitedly. “Honestly, I don’t like Paul at all. He kinda scares me.”

“Scares you?” I repeated her. “Why?”

She shrugged. “I dunno. I don’t like his indirect way of answering things. It’s like he can’t ever be open about himself, and always has to have the conversation be one-sided. If someone ever asks me about something, I give them a straight answer.”

“Grade eleven.” I quipped.

“Shut up.” She replied, a grin forming. “You know what I mean. Plus, I get the feeling that under that innocent exterior is a serious manipulator. I bet he’s more of a slut than I am.”

“That’s kind of unfair.” I murmured loud enough for her to hear. “That’s just your opinion of how he is on the outside presuming things about his personality.”

Nicole looked at me with a lazy yet mischievous smile on her face. “Welcome to high school, squirt.” she announced. “Everyone’s gonna do that. At least I have the balls to admit it.. You probably did it too.”

“I did not.” I replied fiercely with an offended tone.

“No?” She asked, sitting up with a challenging grin on her face. “What about when you were head-over-heels for May? Are you telling me that there wasn’t a single time another guy talked to her, and you wanted to rip his balls off?”

Zac. She got me. I said nothing and looked down, which only fed her grin and turned it into one of triumph.

“Thought so.” She sighed contentedly. “Anyway, what were we talking about?”

“Gossip about others?” I offered.

“No, before that.” She said, pondering.

“…Paul?”

“Right, that.” She snapped to attention. “I just wanted to conclude by saying that I think he likes talking to others about their problems just so he can avoid his own, which is kind of a shitty way of doing things.”

“I think you two are more alike than you think.” I replied cheekily.

“I ought to wash your mouth out with soap.” Nicole giggled, lunging at me and trying to tickle me. Luckily for me, I wasn’t ticklish.

“Aw.” She pouted. “You’re no fun.” There was a significant pause, then she added, “No, I’m not.”

“You both like drama.” I suggested.

“Yeah, in an artsy-fartsy school. Imagine that.” She retorted. “Everyone who comes to Hazelwood High is either artsy, delusional or lost. I mean, remember how we talked about the sports teams at our last council meeting?”

I thought about it. “Did we?” I asked. “I don’t think we did.”

“Exactly.” She winked. “Arts are more fun anyway. In sports, you compete against others to get points. In arts, you compete against yourself to express what best matches your feelings.”

“Too deep for me.” I said jokingly.

“Well, excuse me.” Nicole replied in an annoyed voice. “I forgot I wasn’t talking to Bertolt Brecht.” The stretched on the bed then sat up. “Ooh, there’s an idea. I should try out for the school play next year.” With that, she flopped back down on the bed again.

I laid down on the bed, her laziness becoming contagious, so that our heads were side-to-side from opposite directions. I turned my head to meet hers and gently kissed her cheek. “Why didn’t you this year? Didn’t you say you wanted to?” I asked casually.

“Too much on my plate, I guess.” She lazily replied, stretching. “Now that Student Council is out the window, I guess I can finally do it.”

“Nicole…” I started.

“Sssssh.” She replied lazily, reaching over with her opposite hand and covering my mouth. Playfully, I kissed her outstretched hand and brought it over me, shifting us into a spooning position.

After a while, she spoke up. “You want sex right now, don’t you?”

I turned around to face her. “Is this a trick question?”

She chuckled softly. “No, but I could tell something was up in the way you were responding to me when I was talking about these.” She cupped a boob in each hand.

“I’m a teenage boy. Sue me.” I retorted.

“You sound like me.” She grinned.

“Do you want sex right now?” I asked her, attempting to hide my hopefulness.

There was a clear pause. I eventually turned to Nicole, who appeared to be thinking it over. “Not really.” She finally concluded, then softly chuckled. “I know it’s weird. The school slut doesn’t want some right when you do. Sorry for blueballin’ ya.”

“You’re not the school slut.” I replied forcibly.

“Why aren’t I?” She casually asked, turning to face me.

“Well…” I began, almost nervous from her question. “I mean… you mean more than that to me.”

“I’m aware I’m more than just a slut, squirt. Obama’s also more than a president. He’s a person.” She replied.

“Obama?” I asked.

She shrugged. “First person I could think of.”

“Yeah, but a slut’s a bad thing. I-”

“Why?” She interrupted.

“Why is being a slut a bad thing?” I asked.

“Yup.”

“Well… It kind of devalues you. Like you’re just someone who just sells out their body and has no self-respect. And you’re more than that.”

“And if someone has sex with a lot of guys like that, then they have no self-respect?” She asked.

“Right.”

“Wrong.” She told me. “Sex is a natural thing. If I like it and want it, that shouldn’t have anything to do with my value to myself, or to others. The most insecure, self-hating girl in the world and the most secure, narcissistic girl in the world could both love sex just as much as each other. What would you use then to judge how much respect they have for themselves?”

“Umm…” I sensed a trap. “I dunno.”

“Then don’t judge them in the first place.” Nicole coolly told me. “It’s not like anyone’s love of sex is affecting you, unless you get in on it.” She grabbed my crotch to prove my point. “Slut is just a state of being. It just means that I like sex. And it’s not harming anyone, or an outlet for insecurity. No one teases me because I love video games too much. No one teases me because I love acting. But when people get this idea that the more sex you have, the less self-respect you have, that’s bad.”

“But I didn’t say you had no self-respect.” I protested. “I just said that a slut is-”

“Alright. What’s the difference between me and a slut?” She asked, squeezing my crotch to the point of slight pain. “I mean, hey. You’re having casual sex with two girls right now. Are you doing it because you have no self-respect?”

Hook, line, and sinker. “No, I’m not.” I admitted.

“Why are you doing it, Adam?” She asked in a sing-song voice, letting go of me.

“Because I like sex.” I admitted defeat.

Nicole smiled triumphantly. “And that’s me too. And that’s almost every ‘slut’ you’ll encounter in your life. And until you learn about their feelings, you’re in no position to judge them.” She concluded. My silence followed. “So I guess if you think about it, ‘slut’ couldn’t really be a bad term. I mean, we’re just doing this for fun, but we are pretty slutty.” She turned to face me.

Some part of me wanted to deny it, but that was only because of my preconceptions of the word. Admitting that Nicole was correct, I nodded.

“And don’t worry.” She added, a grin forming. “My best friend is a slut. And I like him a lot. Hell, I think he’s my best friend.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked with a friendly smile, turning to her. “Who’s that?”

Smiling, Nicole leaned in forward and gave me a deep kiss on the lips. She pulled back and smiled slightly, and I followed suit. My arms reached forward, pulling her into a tight embrace, one which she was glad to accept.

***

When high school had first been chucked into the mixing bowl that was my life, I felt like a deer in headlights. A new school, new people, a new way of doing things, feeling things and thinking things. Especially with Nicole by my side, I felt like I was able to take second semester’s new changes a lot better. Even by the first day, I was a little disappointed not to see my old teachers anymore, although I knew Salvador’s door was always open. Hell, I knew I’d be knocking on that door within days of the new semester blooming.

My first class of the new semester was geography, which could be roughly translated to ‘color in maps of the States by state’ class. Occasionally we switched it up with rock types or volcanoes or world cultures or theories of global warming coupled with why everyone in the class is a horrible person for being a part of consumerist society, but usually it was just maps and pencil crayons. I had to give my teacher, Mr. MacDonald, the benefit of the doubt. He seemed to be no happier with the curriculum than I was, and I figured he had no say on what he was teaching. He was still a fairly easygoing guy, which reflected in how he appeared. Slightly overweight and always in Hawaiian shirts for whatever reason, he was content with spending half of the class actually teaching and the other half letting us do whatever the heck he wanted. I bet if he had his way with the curriculum, he would have been much stricter.

I was relieved on the first day to find at least one familiar face in the class. I’m sure here were several people in the class that had classes with me last semester, but I really wasn’t outgoing enough to make friends with any of them, so they all kind of blended together. However, Lady Luck granted me a boon sitting next to me, and her name was Megan Schneider.

As attendance was being taken, she looked over to me and smiled shyly. “Hey.” she said simply yet cheerfully, waving her hand hesitantly.

“Hey.” I responded.

“Did you have a good break?” She asked cheerfully.

Break, my ass. It lasted all of four days with the meeting. “Yeah, it was alright.” I answered with a smile. “Yours?”

She simply shrugged shyly. “It was okay.” She answered.

“You two.” I heard a voice from the front. “Are either of you Megan Schneider?” Mr. MacDonald asked us. “If one of you are, I’m going to guess that it isn’t you.” He pointed at me, earning a few giggles from my classmates.

“Me, sir.” Megan squeaked.

“Is that so?” He asked. “Well, next time answer me the first time I ask, so I don’t have to break up your important discussion.”

“Yes, sir.” Megan squeaked again.

“‘Sir.’ I like that.” Mr. MacDonald grinned, before continuing with the attendance.

***

I was fairly nervous about second period. I had never taken Spanish before and didn’t know what to expect. My nervousness only increased with the fact that when all of us had gotten to the classroom and sat down, the teacher had yet to show up.

After all of us had a chance to make small talk with our neighbors (except for me, of course) our teacher burst through the door, carrying a small stack of papers.

“Siento!” She said distressedly in either a Mexican or Spanish accent. She plopped the papers down on her desk and straightened herself out. “I guess that’s your first lesson of the day – siento. It means ‘I’m sorry,’ but only in non-formal circumstances. If you’re saying sorry for something specific, it would be ‘lo siento.’ Has everyone got that? Great. My name is Mrs. Luciano and I’ll be your Spanish teacher for the next semester. I hope everyone’s looking forward to learning Spanish, unless you already know some Spanish, in which case I guess it’ll be re-learning!” She burst out laughing then immediately transitioned into continuing. “You’ll be getting a coursebook for this semester which will act as your personal tracking logs – there’s a fee for that I’m afraid. Don’t worry, I’m sure your parents will cover it!” Another laugh emerged before she continued. “So for now I’m going to go ahead and dive into the rules of the classroom, and then we’ll get into the first lesson. Does anybody have any questions?”

None of us said anything.

***

After a few texts to Nicole and a bit of stumbling around, I found my way to the history hall. I should have guessed it was around the same area where I took geography, but I was still a bit of a freshman. Eventually, I got to my class and opened the door to find that the teacher had already begun his lesson. I felt my cheeks redden.

“Oh, sorry.” I mumbled.

The teacher, a smallish old man of pure white skin and graying hair, paused, as if scanning my face. “Oh,” He said, almost to himself. “Don’t worry about it. Find a seat. I was just beginning anyways.”

I nodded and sat down as the teacher cleared his throat.

“As I was saying, my name is Mr. Anton, and I’ll be teaching you American history this year.” He began. I noticed he had a very weird voice. Not quite an accent, more like a tendency to stretch out his vowels when he spoke, as if he was always flustered. As well, he always incorporated his hands into his talking, from something as small as holding them in front of him to flat-out waving them as he talked.

“American history is more than just a bunch of old white men with old white hair signing documents.” Mr. Anton continued. “There’s two sides to every story, and this year we’re going to be teaching you the good and the bad of the founding fathers and the legacy they’ve created. Not that we don’t love this country, but in order to examine history fairly, we need to look at everything from both sides.” He paused and looked at us. “How many of you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?”

A few choice students raised their hands, to his evident delight. “I’m guessing you’ve fought with them once or twice? Every good couple does.” Where was he going with this? I wondered to myself.

“Examining history by looking at the bad and the good, then reaching a solid conclusion, helps us with handling our own disputes. It teaches us to see past our personal biases and look at things factually. As Robert Heinlein once said, ‘A generation which ignores history has no past… and no future.’” He looked at us and smiled. “Do you think Thomas Jefferson never committed any sins? Was Martin Luther King Jr. really a good guy? Were we the heroes of World War II we think we were? In this classroom, you won’t hear me answer any of those. What I will give you are the tools and resources to answer them yourselves.”

I had to admit, for a guy who didn’t really give a crap about history, Mr. Anton had me excited. And from looking around the classroom, I was a minority.

***

I was glad gym was the last class of the day. I was definitely not comfortable with taking showers at school, and from what I heard from many people, including a very vocal Nicole, I would need to shower before attending any other classes.

My comfort was somewhat restabilized by the fact that all of my preconceptions of what a gym teacher should be like were smashed by the gym teacher we were given. Mr. Brock, the admittedly well-sculpted, beaming teacher himself, practically bounced into the room jogging, and looked like a man straight out of a ’90s workout video. What looked like sun-bleached blondish short hair (despite it being near the end of winter), deep blue workout shorts, a sky-blue tank top, and a cheesy ’90s smile to top it off.

“Hey, gang.” He announced with a highish yet commanding voice. “Glad to see you all here. This is freshmen year men’s gym class and my name is Mr. Brock, your teacher. But I guess you guys already guessed that.” He paused to laugh at his own joke, if you could even call that a joke, and some of us joined in, either nervously or because we wanted to get on his good side. “Before we get into what we’re going to be doing this semester, I’m going to go over a few rules.”

A 20-minute discussion on deodorant, hygiene, showers and the importance of fitness followed, most of which I tuned out. I tuned back in when the words ‘keep in mind, this is important’ met my ears.

“Keep in mind, this is important – I know that some of you are beginners, some of you just want to get the credit, and some of you aren’t used to a gym environment. That’s totally okay, I realize you can’t push yourselves to the level of some of our more athletic classmates. That’s just the way it is. I’m going to be looking more for improvement than pure skill throughout this semester. As long as you keep up and push yourselves, you’ll do just great in this class.”

Yippee. To be honest, I hated gym class. I mean, I was a bullied stay-at-home wimp until very recently. We practically had doctorates in staying at home and not exercising. I’m pretty sure I got winded if I ever made a trip to the fridge too quickly. Still, at least the teacher wasn’t a jerk. The semester was shaping up to be a pretty good one.

***

“Great, that about wraps things up.” Phil concluded. “Megan, good job at putting up those posters before the new semester. Eli, well done at staying in contact with Mr. Williams. Jeff, make sure to get everyone hyped for the spirit week coming up.” The two shared a high five. “And to the lovely Nicole, great job at organizing the parent-teacher conference next month.”

Nicole huffed and raised an eyebrow at him. Phil saw, but didn’t react.

“Alright. Natalie, for next week you’re in charge of keeping our social media pages updated. And Adam, I expect a full report of what the kids around school think.”

I flashed him the thumbs up.

“Cool, you’re free to leave. Great job, everyone.” On cue, everybody got up and started to shuffle towards the exit. I felt a kind of buzzing sensation at my sides as if someone was grabbing me and jumped, realizing afterwards that it was Nicole from behind me, playfully pinching my sides.

“Hey.” She said, smiling. “Want a ride?”

An idea struck me. “Uh, sure, but can it be in a sec?” I asked her. The impromptu nature of my response made me sound nervous, and Nicole caught on. She shot a look towards Megan and turned back slowly towards me smugly.

“Sure, squirt. How long do you need?” She asked provocatively.

“Oh, hush.” I shot back instinctively. “Um, I dunno… twenty minutes?”

“I think you’re giving yourself just a bit too much praise there.” She winked, then turned around, sparing me no view of her ass. “Remember, you owe me.” She added as she walked away, exaggerating her hip movements.

I chuckled as she walked out of the room, but that laughter was short lived. Megan was actually not who I wanted to see. Walking up to the front desk of the room, I cleared my throat. “Hey, Phil?” I asked.

“Yo.” He responded coolly, looking up from some papers he was gathering.

“I…” I trailed off. “I wanted to ask you about something. Advice for next year, that kind of thing.”

“I’m flattered, my man.” Phil broke out into a grin. “Shoot.”

“Oh, well, I’m actually kinda shy about it.” I lamely replied. “I was wondering if we could have this chat alone.”

“Girl trouble.” Jeff snickered.

“Thinkin’ the same thing, man. Thinkin’ the same thing.” Phil replied, holding out a fist. They bumped fists and Phil returned his attention to me. “Sure, buddy. No problem.” He cleared his throat. “Alright, everyone, skedaddle.”

The few people left in the room packed up their things. Megan on her way out caught a glimpse of me shyly and waved. I waved back.

“Some girl, huh?” Phil commented as she left. “Is she the girl you’re lookin’ at? What’s your story with her anyway, weren’t you two together not too long ago? Y’know, after the whole… ‘in a classroom’ thing?”

“It’s a long and complicated story.” I replied, not daring to look Phil in the eye.

“That’s what they all say.” He smiled, punching me playfully in the shoulder. The room was empty at this point and Phil got up to shut the door. “So, what do you wanna ask?”

“Phil…” I waited until he shut the door to continue. “I don’t have girl trouble.”

“Alright, cool, then school stuff?” He asked.

“I lied. I don’t need advice.”

Silence filled the room, broken by a chuckle of confusion from Phil. “So then… Why did you ask to be alone with me? Are you taking over the council or something?”

“I want to talk to you about Nicole.”

Phil’s smile instantly faded. “What do you mean?” He asked with a slightly ominous tint to his voice.

“You two haven’t been really close lately, have you?” I asked him.

“Adam, I’m going to be blunt with you; this is none of your damn business.” Phil remarked flatly.

“Nicole’s my friend. I want to help you two sort things out.” I replied, trying my best to stand up to him.

“That’s cool, Adam, but I really don’t want to have this conversation.” Phil shot back. “Is that everything?” He asked, starting for the door.

“So that’s it? You’d rather be in this awkward situation and have Nicole want to leave the council, rather than stoop to my level and accept that a freshman might have some solid advice for you?” I asked bluntly.

He turned around to face me, clearly not amused. “This isn’t about you.” He simply said. “Nicole doesn’t want to leave the council, we’re just in a weird phase right now.”

“That’s not what she told me yesterday.” I stood my ground.

Phil cocked an eyebrow. “And does she know you’re telling me this?” Phil asked. “Would she be grateful to you that you’re talking to me about something she probably wanted to keep private?”

I hesitated, then fell silent. Phil’s goading hand forced me to speak. “No.” I finally said.

“So I don’t want this, and Nicole doesn’t want this. Sounds to me like it’s not going to be helpful.” Phil forcefully said. “I’m not the big bad guy you think I am. Whatever she’s told you, take it with a grain of salt, alright? Just let us figure it out with time. I know you starry-eyed freshmen think that the right words said at the right time will fix everything, but I’ve been around this school a lot longer than you. I know firsthand – some things can only be solved with time.” He chuckled to himself. “I actually used to be a lot like you, unless you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.” He straightened himself. “But still, this situation won’t be solved the way you think it will. And don’t worry – Nicole’s told me how she feels – many times.”

By now, Phil had sat down on a table, arms crossed and facing me. I stifled a grin – this is where I wanted him. Opening up to me.

“Hell, did you know…” He chuckled again. “Did you know that my brother used to date Nicole?”

“Really?” I feigned shock.

“Yup.” He replied, then shook his head dismissively. “Apparently he wasn’t the best kind of guy for her though. She wasn’t the same girl after they broke up. But after they did… She got this kind of confidence to her. It was like a side of her I never got to see before. Once I saw her come out of her shell, I used to ask her out, like, every week.” He smiled up to the ceiling in remembrance. “Hell, before recently, I thought I finally got my chance, you know. But then… I dunno. She just kinda drifted away.”

“Do you know when she started?” I asked.

Phil shrugged. “Nope, not a clue.”

I played along. “Well, I know that Nicole acts all tough and confident on the inside, but she’s kind of soft on the inside.”

“Yup.” Phil nodded. “It’s kinda cute when you have to work for it.”

“So maybe it was some kind of point of vulnerability for her, and you did something that’s totally alright in a normal situation, but she might have thought as uncomfortable.”

“Like what?” Phil asked.

“I dunno.” I shrugged, playing dumb. “Have you guys ever been in a really intimate situation?”

Phil coked an eyebrow, supplementing it with a half-smile this time. “We didn’t take any pictures if that’s what you want.”

“Yeah, but sex can be a pretty intimate and emotional thing, and maybe Nicole was taking down her defensive walls when you guys had sex and something impacted her or something.” I suggested.

“Adam, I’d tell you to keep a secret, but this is pretty much public knowledge – Nicole’s known for never keeping her legs closed.” Phil told me seriously, yet with his small smile remaining. “I think we can safely say that if we did have some kind of misunderstanding, it had nothing to do with sex.”

“So just because she’s used to casual, emotionless sex means that she can’t have emotional sex?” I asked.

Phil chuckled nervously. “Adam, this isn’t really the conversation I want to have with you.”

“I know, just hear me out.” This was it. This was the make-or-break point. If he denied this, I had nothing. “Was there a point where you guys were about to have sex, and she said no or something? I’ve heard from her that consent is really important to her, so that may be something.”

Phil paused, and eyed me suspiciously. “Where’s this coming from?” He asked darkly.

With attempted computer speed, I compared what Phil knew I knew in my head to what Phil didn’t know. “The kiss.” I finally blurted out. “Your first kiss with her, the one I witnessed, she was initially uncomfortable with it but then started going out with you. Maybe that led you to believe that Nicole views initiative and consent in a way that she doesn’t actually.”

Phil blinked twice. He uncrossed and crossed his arms. He fidgeted with his hands. Finally, he spoke up. “Our first time… was kind of similar to that. Like, she was playing hard to get, so like you said, I figured if it was good enough for our first kiss, it was good enough for our first time. But!” He uncrossed his arms and pointed up into the air. “She didn’t say anything. She didn’t complain. And that’s how we first became a couple. So clearly I wasn’t doing anything wrong.”

“Is that when Nicole started being distant?” I asked.

Phil deflated. “Yes.” He admitted, then straightened himself. “Wait. Is this one of those bullshit stories where the girl wanted it but then after the sex she changed her mind so the dude became the bad guy? Because I am not a rapist.” His tone was gathering force.

“Don’t worry, relax.” I soothed. “I don’t think that was rape. It was a misunderstanding though. It just makes sense that that’s what she’s upset about.” Frankly, if it was sex Nicole wasn’t comfortable with from the start, it pretty much was rape, but I wasn’t ready to tell either of them that.

Phil fidgeted again. “Maybe.” He admitted. “But we don’t know that.”

“No, we don’t, but I mean, you want to be on better terms with her right now, right?” I asked.

He nodded. “Hell, I wanna be with her.” He added.

I ignored that. “Well then maybe we can come to an agreement. I’ll step off and give you two that time you’ve been asking for if you communicate with her about that. I mean, if it was your first time, you don’t really know if ‘playing hard to get’ is Nicole’s style in bed, right?” His silence answered me. I knew myself that playing hard to get wasn’t her style at all, but the last thing I was going to do at that moment was tell him that.

“Maybe from her point of view, it was a kind of rape.” He stood up at that and began to protest before I cut him off. “Which we both know wasn’t your intent.” He sat back down. “So in order for things to heal, you should straighten things out with her. You know, try to see things from her view. Then afterwards, you won’t have to wait as long before getting to see her smile again. Doesn’t it kind of hurt seeing her happy with everyone but you in a kind of selfish way?”

Phil begrudgingly nodded. “The kind of hurt you don’t even know yet.” He told me.

Sure, why not. “So will you talk to her?” I asked hopefully. “I mean, I want to see you two happy again. You can feel the tension between you two right now.”

Phil stood up from the table and thought it over, exhaling loudly as he did so. “Fine.” He conceded, before walking towards me. “As long as you can do two things for me.”

“Shoot.” I replied, happy that he agreed.

“One, I have no clue how good you are at keeping secrets. You can’t be that good since you went against Nicole’s word to tell me this.” Guilt set in. “So maybe your promise on this is worthless, but I still want to hear it from you. Do not mention a word of this to anyone. As far as you know, this conversation never happened. A rumor of an alleged misunderstanding of a sexual assault could mean expulsion and a criminal record for me.”

I nodded diligently. Aside from Nicole, I couldn’t think of who I would want to tell this story. Besides, I already kept the story about May tucked under my cap – one more secret couldn’t hurt.

“No, I mean it.” Phil insisted forcefully. “If I hear a word of this, nothing personal, but your life will become a living hell. I’ll see to it. I’m taking it on faith that you did this because you wanted to help me, but if you do anything to hurt me, I will not be hesitant in hurting you back.” He stared me down with fierce blue eyes. I gulped. “I’m a good guy, but I’m not that good. No one is. You have some serious dirt on me after I spilled my guts to you, and bad things will happen if you use this against me.”

Now feeling nervous as all hell, I still kept up the nodding. “I promise.” I said in a highish voice.

“Great.” Phil breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m sorry, and no offense. It’s just, you know… Not such a nice world out there.”

“I understand.” I flatly said. “What’s term two?”

Phil thought to himself for a second. “Oh yeah.” He said with a realization. “Two, don’t do anything like this again. I’m big enough to admit it – you helped me see a few things. In a way I’m glad we had this talk. But in another, I don’t want to see you for a month. Don’t go sticking your nose into other people’s private business again, especially when it’s this deep, alright? Be a good boy.”

The freshman helped the senior, I thought triumphantly. Again, I nodded.

“Great,” Phil sighed tiredly. “Anything else or are you good?”

“I’m good.” I said simply.

“Cool.” Phil nodded, then grinned. “Next week’s report had better be fucking good for this.”

I smiled back. “I’ll try.”

“It’s all I can ask.” Phil replied. “Now get the fuck outta here, and have a nice evening.”

“You too!” I said warmly as I gathered my things. I looked around the room as a precaution and noticed that Megan left her things behind – If I found her I would need to bring that up before I left. Phil stayed in the room for whatever reason, but I didn’t pay it much thought. Whipping out my phone, I pulled up my messages.

I’m ready to go when you are! I texted Nicole, then put my phone away, starting for the front hallway. When I got about halfway there, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and pulled it out.

Shit, really? That was way less than 20 minutes… Give me a bit, I’m doing a few errands right now. If you want sloppy seconds, go for it.

I chuckled to myself. Strangely, I even felt a tad cunning. I managed to fool Nicole, of all people, who even just a month ago I considered psychic. I was ready to put my phone away again when I felt the phone buzz once more.

I’m not psychic.

Leave it to Nicole to prove my point for me, although I think the context was a little different than she thought it was. Smiling still, I put my phone away and started for the main hallway.

As the hallway came into view, so did Megan, perched on a bench, her legs waving back and forth in the ‘innocent little girl’ way. Upon seeing me, she stopped and waved cheerfully.

“Hi, Adam.” She said warmly.

“Hey!” I said back, moving in for a hug, which she certainly didn’t complain about. I sat beside her and out of instinct put my arm around her.

“You waiting for someone?” I asked her.

She nodded. “Matt.” She answered. “He’s going for his provisional license right now. If he doesn’t make it then mom will drive us both home, but if he does he’s going to.”

“Oh, cool!” I remarked, mostly out of support. “You excited?”

She shrugged. “Sure!” She replied with less emotion than I expected. “I mean, I’m happy for him, but he won’t drive me around too much if he gets it.” She chuckled. “I know him. He’s a little bit overprotective.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.” I chuckled to myself. Megan giggled and shyly kissed me on the cheek. After pulling away, she checked around us to make sure no one else was around.

“You are so shy.” I laughed at her.

“I am not.” She fake-pouted.

“Are too.” I countered.

“Am not!” She protested.

“Then what was that dainty little kiss, followed by making sure no one saw such a philistine act?” I winked at her.

“We’re in a public place. I’m just being a lady.” She defended herself, then smiled half-shyly, half-devilishly at me. “I think we both know I’m not so shy at… Certain times.”

“Certain times?” I asked her, mocking her wording.

She tossed her hair over her shoulder over-dramatically. “I’m still a lady.” She said proudly.

“Yeah, fine, but you’re only like that with me. Around others, you’re still just as shy.” I countered.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“Is that so?”

“That’s so!”

“Really?”

“Really!”

“Well, that may be!” She said, confidence building up in her. “But I bet if I did anything with anyone else, you wouldn’t approve!”

I realized she was joking, but the realization that I really wouldn’t made me feel awful. “I do stuff with Nicole though.” I said, mostly to myself.

She caught on immediately. “Oh, Adam, I didn’t mean it like that…” She started.

“No, you’re right, it’s not fair.” I pointed out. “It’s a double standard. Do you want to do anything with anyone else?”

“No, Adam. It’s okay.” She deflated like a balloon.

“No really, I mean it.” I said strongly. “It’s only fair. Take me out of the equation. Would you like to try anything with anyone else?”

“No really, Adam, I’m fine…”

“I mean it!” I said assuringly. “If that’s what you want, I want you to tell me.”

“Really, it’s okay…”

“C’mon, isn’t there anyone?”

“Adam, that’s not the point.”

“I don’t hear a no…” I sang.

“Well… It’s stupid…” She said dejectedly.

“That sounds like you have someone in mind.” I said supportively, surprising even myself with how okay I was with the idea of sharing her with someone.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” She asked me, unsure.

I grabbed her hand in mine and slowly kissed her on the lips. “I’m sure.” I said warmly. “Now do you think you could tell me which lucky guy is on your mind?”

Megan chewed her upper lip adorably and fidgeted with herself. Finally, after a short sigh, she quickly and quietly blurted out, “Carson Carter.”

It would be Carson, wouldn’t it? “Carson, huh?” I asked.

She nodded shyly. “I have science class with him this semester, and I knew he was your friend from last semester, and…”

“You want to ‘know him better?’” I asked, holding up air quotes.

She nodded. “I love being with you, and you’re cute.” She defended me. “But Carson’s that bad boy, muscle-y type, and I’ve… I’ve never really been with anyone like that. The idea of him… It just… It…”

“Turns you on?” I finished her sentence.

“I was going to say it eventually.” She responded playfully. “Yeah, it does. Someone who has so much confidence and lives by his own rules… That’s really… Powerful. He’s been on my mind a bit, but… I don’t think anything will ever happen.”

“Don’t be so sure!” I protested. “Carson’s been around, I don’t think he would mind.”

“Yeah, but so quickly after a breakup? I mean…” Megan said in an unsure tone.

I laughed out loud. “Are you sure this isn’t just a way so you can get even with May?” I asked her knowingly, with a shit-eating grin on my face.

“Grow up.” She playfully pushed me. “It’s isn’t that.” I stared at her intently. “Well, I mean, I’m not complaining if that’s how things happen to be, but I wasn’t intending to do that.”

“I knew it.” I announced. “I knew it.”

“Oh, hush.” She pushed me again, then both of us fell silent.

“I’d be really nervous though.” She finally said. “I don’t even think I could face him or look him in the eye, let alone ask him for…”

“Say it. I dare you.” I goaded her.

“For… relations.” She finished.

“You’re a PG13 thesaurus when it comes to sex, aren’t you?” I asked her jokingly. “Well, tell you what. Let me see your phone.”

“Why?” She asked uneasily.

“It’s easier to say things to people over text than it is in person. Plus you can tell him you just asked me for his number. That would give him the message that you’re interested.” I reasoned.

“But he might think I want to be his girlfriend or something, and I wouldn’t be ready for that.” She responded. “Plus, isn’t it really cowardly to formally introduce yourself to someone over the phone?”

“Completely.” I replied.

“…Alright, fine.” She conceded, handing me her phone. I pulled out my phone and copied Carson’s number over.

“So what do you want me to say for the first message?” I asked her, my head buried between the two phones.

“Um…” She started. “Maybe something small, or something to grab his attention so that he’ll actually make me respond. Or maybe something big. Unless he gets girls messaging him all the time. I bet he wouldn’t even want to do anything with me.”

Rolling my eyes, I pulled up Carson’s number and began to text him.

Hey! This is Megan Schneider, and I’m in your science class. Your friend Adam gave me your number. I think you’re really attractive and was wondering if you ever wanted to fool around sometime. I’m not looking for a committed relationship, but you’ve been on my mind lately, and I really want to do things with you. In person, I’m really shy, but don’t let that fool you, I’m really interested in getting to know you.

“Aaaaaand sent.” I said triumphantly.

“What did you say?” Megan asked me, grabbing the phone out of my hands. As she read over it her skin turned paler and paler.

I shrugged. “It’s to-the-point, it’s true, and I know him – he prefers open people to beat-around-the-bush bullshit.”

“Oh my goodness, Adam.” Megan mumbled, her voice trembling.

“What?” I asked. “It’s exactly what you want, right?”

“I’m not that overt, Adam!” She told me, voice still trembling. “What if he says no? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself! I’ll die of embarrassment! I won’t be able to ever look at him a-” She was cut off by her phone making a beeping noise.

“What did he say, Megan?” I asked her knowingly.

She looked at her phone, surprise still painted on her face. After a bit of waiting, eventually defeat overtook her expression. “It… It says ‘sure, I’m down with that,’ followed by an invitation to hang out tomorrow at lunch.”

I didn’t respond, I just gave her an expression that all but said ‘I knew it.’

“Yeah, okay.” She waved me off, feeling comfortable enough now to smile. “I’m still nervous as… as heck.”

“Do you want me to tell him to keep it slow?” I asked.

“No, I don’t want him knowing anyone else knows about this.” She answered. “As long as you told him to overlook how I’ll act around him… I wonder if he’ll go for it on our first time hanging out.”

“Nervousness?” I asked her, holding her shoulder in support.

She looked down and bit her lower lip. “Excitement.” She said quietly, looking up at me with a small smile. I returned hers with a smile of my own, then leaned in to kiss her deeply. We remained there for some time, until I decided to up the ante and grab her waist to pull her into me, moving my hands south to rub up and down her thighs.

To my dismay, she pushed me away. “Not here.” She said with a smile. “Besides, Matt may be back soon, and who knows what he might say?”

“Do we really need daddy’s approval?” I asked sarcastically.

She laughed. “No, but remember what I said about how protective he is. He’d rip your head off if he found out that you had… intercourse with me, let alone if he knew you helped set me up with another guy.”

“We’d best not tell him then.” I replied, stealing another peck on the lips.

“My thoughts exactly.” Megan replied, then, uncharacteristically, leaned in to steal a peck of her own. “Speaking of, he should be here soon. I think I left my backpack somewhere, I’m going to go find it.”

“Oh, right.” I said immediately. “Slipped my mind. You left it in the student council office. If you hurry, Phil might be in there so you won’t need to find a custodian to open it.”

“Great, thanks.” She smiled, and hugged me. With that, she pranced off in the direction of the student council office, leaving me sitting alone at the bench. Out of instinct, I pulled out my phone and began browsing the internet mindlessly.

I had been at peace for all of ten seconds before I felt a sharp pain in my hair. Something was yanking me up from behind the bench. To avoid the pain, I shot up to my feet.

“You know what Megan said about ripping your head off?” Came a menacing male voice in my ear.

“Yeah?” I replied timidly out of fear.

“She was being kind.” I could feel Matt’s hot breath on my ear right before he threw me, releasing me from his grip and sending me sprawling to the floor. Before he could do anything else, I quickly got up and faced him.

“I don’t want any trouble, Matt.” I said cautiously, scared to see him.

“No?” He nearly laughed ominously. He was breathing so heavily that his shoulders were rising and falling. “I told you to stay away from her, and what do you do? You fucking sleep with her!”

It clicked with me that Matt must have entered at a point when we couldn’t see or hear him. “How long were you eavesdropping on us?”

“Long enough.” He answered simply, with a threatening voice. “And now if you know what’s good for you, you’re going to tell me a little bit more about this other guy you hooked my little sister up with.”

Internally, I breathed a sigh of relief. Matt hadn’t stayed long enough to hear either of us mention his name. “Matt, I understand your anger, really I do, but she’s being safe, and what your sister does is none of your business.”

Matt laughed a very threatening kind of laugh. “Adam, I didn’t come here to hear you talk back to me. I didn’t even come here for an apology. I already asked you to stay away, then I had to tell you. Neither of those worked, so clearly I’m going to have to find a new way to convince you.”

He was trying to corner me. Realizing this, I sidestepped a few times, but he just picked up his pace.

“What’s his name, Adam?” He asked me.

I started backing up. “He has nothing to do with this,” I answered in an increasingly smaller voice. I realized that he was backing me up towards the main entrance.

“Well, this certainly has to do with you,” Matt told me as the distance between us waned. “You turned my sister into a slut.”

“Well, is being a slut necessarily a bad thing?” I very stupidly countered. It was quite evident that the effect was more benign when Nicole was using that argument, and I soon found myself running at full speed outside the school doors with Matt basically on my heels.

I tried to make my way to the bus stops. The really late buses had yet to arrive and there had to be people there. I almost had reached my goal of getting within the sight of people before I felt Matt grab me from behind and pull me to face him.

“I promised to protect my sister from little creeps like you.” Matt sneered into my face.

The sense of inevitable defeat at the hands of him filled me with adrenaline, or as I liked to call it, that hormone that makes me bold and say incredibly stupid things. “She’s a minx in the sack.” I spat back at him, knowing the worst was going to happen anyways.

Dizziness hit me first, followed immediately by incredible rush of pain in my jaw. I stumbled to the floor, the fact that I couldn’t stand not even registering. My skin felt like it was on fire and my teeth like they were bending on their own. I laid in the snow, beaten but breathing. Matt stood there, his fist raised from the blow he just dealt me. “You stay the fuck away from her!” He shouted.

Believe it or not, this was exactly what I wanted – as I managed to stand up from the blow he dealt me, people waiting for their bus began to notice us and jogged their way over. Despite the pain I felt and the blood I could taste on my lip, I gave a small weak laugh of victory.

As I was waiting for someone to intervene, Matt closed the distance between us and launched his fist forward again – this time at my chest. He made a clean hit, knocking me straight to the ground. Hitting the ground hurt more, especially when my head hit last and my neck had to accommodate, so I stayed down, wondering why the hell no one was doing anything.

Then it dawned on me. No one was going to do anything. This wasn’t a school accustomed to fighting. These people were here to watch. They didn’t get to see fights often, didn’t know what to do, and wanted to see how this would play out.

“Stand up.” Matt barked. “Face me.”

I wasn’t sure if I could. I never got hit before, and even though I knew I hadn’t lost a limb or anything, the way I laid sprawled all over the floor made me feel like I was in pieces. Pain pulsated throughout my body; everything ached. When I tried to stand, or breathe, my chest refused and pushed back. I coughed.

“Stand up!” Matt ordered again.

Weakly, I gathered the energy to place my hands on the snowy ground and use them to prop myself up. Breathing heavily from my chest refusing to work with me, I stood up and looked around to see a small crowd had made a circle around us, apparently fascinated by our actions.

“I want the only fucking word out of your mouth to be ‘sorry.’ By saying that, not only do you promise not to do this again, you’ll also understand what fucking happens if you do.” Matt told me.

“I don’t think student council condones hitting people if you don’t get your way.” I told him weakly.

Wham. Right in the stomach. The world blacked out for a second until I found the strength to open my eyes again. I started gasping and found that I couldn’t breathe, only realizing seconds later that this must have been ‘getting the wind knocked out of you.’

“Hit him back!” One onlooker, clearly displeased with the one-sided battle, shout out.

“This doesn’t concern you!” Matt snarled. “Beat it, all of you!”

Naturally, of course no one beat it. As soon as I could breathe again, I stood up once again, even though I wasn’t expecting a different outcome.

“Say it!” Matt ordered me.

“Sock him in the mouth!” Another onlooker, a girl, advised me. A few fellow spectators cheered their agreement.

Whether Matt deserved getting punched or not was up for debate, but whether I would do it wasn’t. I stayed true to my pacifistic roots, standing there. “Well?” I asked Matt breathily. “A-are you j-just going to… to stand there?”

“You’re not going to put up a fight?” Matt asked me incredulously.

I shook my head no and stuck my arms out in the Jesus-on-the-cross position, mocking him.

“I guess that makes you both a manipulating sex-abuser AND an idiot.” Matt concluded, gearing up then hitting me again.

It became increasingly hard to keep myself awake. In my head, I started doing simple math equations. I didn’t have a plan – before, it was to get people to watch, but now they were, and they weren’t doing anything to help me. Wheezing and wincing from the pain in my stomach, feeling nauseated as all hell, I stood up again, even more slowly.

“Say it!” Matt ordered furiously. I shook my head no, and he dealt another blow to my jaw. I actually wasn’t complaining – another to my stomach and I would have been out cold. It hurt to move anything, even to blink.A thousand daggers had lodged themselves in my skin, and my bones were beginning to crumble. Slowly, I began to stand again, and to my amazement, the crowd began to cheer me on.

Matt noticed this too, and noticed he was losing the higher ground he deluded himself into thinking he had. Thinking on his feet, he asked me threateningly, “Does it hurt?”

Unable to even talk at this point, I wheezed and nodded.

“Alright then. I’ll give you a free blow. Come at me with your best shot.” He told me, dropping his hands to his sides. “Go ahead, hit me.”

I shook my head no. “I said hit me, you idiot!” He yelled. Still, I refused, bringing my hands to my knees and breathing deeply.

“Fine.” He conceded. “I gave you the chance. But if you’re not going to take it, it’s my turn.” He readied his hand for the next punch.

I knew I couldn’t take the next punch and I shut my eyes tightly. This was it, the end of the fight. I’d never been knocked unconscious before, but I guess there had to be a first time for everything. Pain continued to pulsate through me, and the more I thought about it, the worse it became. Luckily for me, I wouldn’t be able to feel anything soon.

“Stop!” I heard a commanding voice from the crowd, loud enough to shatter glass. Slowly I opened my eyes to see a blurry figure from the crowd walk up to the blurry figure I presumed to be Matt.

“What the hell are you doin’?” The figure asked him. I could barely focus on what they were saying.

“Something that doesn’t concern you!” Matt fired back.

“This homie ain’t fightin’ back. You can’t fight like this. It goes against the rules.” The figure protested.

“There are no rules here. This little bitch manipulated and fucked my sister.” Matt protested.

The figure paused, and I presume he looked me over. “You already beat him. You sent him the message. What good would this last blow do?”

“He already ignored me last time. He could easily do it again!” Matt barked at him.

The figure paused again. “Why don’t you let me talk to him?” He asked Matt. “You scram and maybe I’ll pretend I didn’t see this happen.”

“Not fucking happening.” Matt roared. “Now how about you get out of my way?”

“Maybe you don’t know who the fuck I am.” The figure coolly responded. I saw some shifting going on but I couldn’t see past my own welled-up eyes to tell. Either way, I could tell the figure made an impression on Matt. “Now get outta here.”

Wordlessly, Matt left after a big pause. I could tell every microsecond of that pause, he was looking at me.

“That goes for the rest of you too!” The figure shouted at the crowd. “Show’s over. Any one of you talk shit, I’ll find ya!”

I presume the crowd left as I adjusted to the fact that I was going to be okay. Upon realizing everything, I burst out crying.

“Don’t worry, lil’ man.” The figure said, coming closer. “It’s cool. It’s cool. Let it all out.” He guided me to the steps, where I sat down to catch my breath.

“Can you see? How many fingers’m I holdin’ up?” He asked me.

I looked, rubbed my eyes, and looked again. “Th-three.” I weakly answered.

He nodded. “Alright, tight.”

As my eyes gained focus, I saw the face a bit more clearly. Snow white skin, black hair, matching brown eyes, some stubble and a wispy mustache. “What the fuck,” I mumbled aloud. It was Pierce Jennett. Pierce fucking Jennett. The same Pierce Jennett who led a tyranny of bullying over me in middle school and singlehandedly made me change schools. “Pierce?” I managed weakly.

“What’s up, homes?” He asked casually.

“Wh-what the hell do you want?” I asked, trying to back away from him.

He just laughed. “I ain’t here to start shit. Get it together, man.”

“How did you even – I switched schools to get away from you! Why the hell are you here? How are you here?!” I asked, my strength beginning to return.

“Hey, man – chill, alright?” He asked me, looking at me seriously. “I go here now.”

“Why?!” I asked, gathering enough strength to prop myself up. “Why the hell would you do that? What, you have to pause your own life just to keep going after me? Why is making my life hell so god damn important that you had to come to my school?!”

“Seriously, shut up.” He told me forcefully. “Fuckin’ goof. I didn’t come here to pick on you. I got expelled.”

It took a second to set in, although it shouldn’t have really surprised me that Pierce of all people got expelled. “What for?” I asked.

“I got into a fight of my own.” Pierce answered me, taking a seat on the steps. “Kicked his fuckin’ ass.”

“What for?” I asked.

“The bird was talkin’ shit.” He answered. Did he seriously use the term ‘bird’ as an insult? “So I told him to step off, and it just kind of happened.”

“Will I get expelled?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Even if the school got evidence, you didn’t start it and you got several people sayin’ you didn’t hit him. If you wanted, though, you could probably file a report and get him expelled.”

As unusual as it seemed, I actually didn’t hate Matt. In a way, I kind of understood him. I didn’t like him, but the idea of expelling him, especially with what it might do to Megan, didn’t sit well with me.

“Anyway, right before they expelled me, for punishment I had to sit in a room with the guy for an hour and just talk. They had a video feed, but no audio. If we shook hands, we could be let out early. So I’m sayin’ to him, let’s shake hands and get the fuck outta here, but the guy didn’t want to. We got to talking, and shit, he was alright.”

“Like, not hurt?” I asked.

“Like, a cool guy. I felt like shit.” He answered, and turned to me. “Which brings me to you. It was like The Big Guy,” He pointed to the sky. “was giving me a chance to repent for my sins and shit.”

“Hence you breaking up the fight.” I concluded.

“Yup.” He answered. “This may be too little too late, but I was a fuckin’ dick, man. Let me make it up to you by giving you a lift home.”

I hesitated, long enough for him to notice. “I’m a changed man, Adam.” He assured. “You won’t be getting any more trouble from me. Don’t worry.”

If I were in any place other than mine, I would have been bouncing off of the walls at the closure I was getting from this. But given my current situation, that could wait. “Pierce, I’ll be frank with you… You made middle school hell for me. I’m not ready to trust you that much.” I managed.

“Tsk,” was the sound that came from Pierce as he looked off. “Shit, you will.” He said to himself. “In the meantime, is there anything else I can do for you?”

“I’m fine, thanks.” I answered him. “I think I just want to be alone for now.”

He nodded, and turned to face me. “Alright, man, respect.” He said, holding out a fist. I reluctantly bumped it. “I’m out then. Peace.”

“Take care.” I almost sarcastically said as Pierce flipped up his hood and started to walk away from the school. I didn’t care who he said he was, I associated him (and Isaiah, Thomas and Kenny to an extent) with my entire middle school experience, and all the anxiety, sadness and loneliness I felt during that period. A sudden turnaround wasn’t going to make me just forgive him like that. I chuckled to myself as I realized I actually felt angrier at him than I did at Matt.

Being alone for long enough made me realize that I was still in pain, and in exhaustion I collapsed on the steps, closing my eyes just for a second.

One blink. Two blinks. Before I knew it, I was completely out of it, feeling my head spinning and my soul sucked out through my chest, soon to leave the land of the living and enter the world of dreams. Right before I did, I felt something shaking me.

No. Someone. Lazily, I opened my eyes to see someone. Black hair, concerned expression, blue eyes… Nicole.

“Adam, what the hell?!” She exclaimed. “Are you okay?”

Numbness was pouring through me. “Oh, hey Nicole.” I mumbled calmly.

“What the fuck is this?!” She gestured around me. “You’re bleeding!”

“There was a fight.” I mumbled back, still not fully back in the world of the living. “Karate lessons didn’t help worth a crap.”

“Oh my God, you’re such an idiot.” She replied softly, eyes welling up. She pulled me into a big hug and just held me there. “Give it another few years, then maybe you can hold your own.” She added in a whisper into my ear.

“Until then, maybe it would help if you fought my battles for me.” I whispered back with a weak chuckle.

“Do you need medical attention or something?” She frantically asked me, still keeping me in the hug.

“No, I don’t think it’s that bad. I’ll be fine.” I mumbled.

She broke off the hug and stared at me straight in the face. “We’re going to get justice for this, Adam. I’m not going to let this fucking slide. What the hell did you do to get someone to beat you up?”

For some reason, I clammed up. “I dunno.” I mumbled.

“Okay…” She sighed. “Who was it? Do you know that much?”

“I didn’t get a good look at them once it started.” I partially lied. “My vision got really blurry.”

“So you don’t even know who it was?” Nicole asked. She took out her phone and I saw her pull up a note-taking app. “What hair color?”

“Blonde.” I figured just in case, I shouldn’t twist the truth that much.

“Gender?”

“Male.” I answered.

“Um… eye color?” She asked.

I looked at her with one eyebrow lowered. “Work with me, dammit!” She practically yelled at me.

“Nicole…” I started, feeling some strength return. “Calm down. You’re more upset about this than me.”

She nodded. “Fine. You’re right. I shouldn’t be asking questions like this when you’re in this state.”

“Nicole, I’m not in any state.” I protested.

“We’re going right to my house, and you’re going to lie down.” She told me, picking me up by my hand.

“Nicole, I’m fine.” I insisted.

“Please, just do this, okay?” Nicole asked with a surprising amount of fire in her voice.

I stared at her for a long time and she lowered her head, exhaling. Then she looked up. “Sorry. Fine. Make your own decisions. I’m sorry for pressuring you.”

“Nicole, that isn’t fair.” I retorted.

“What do you want me to say?!” She asked me, as if she was panicked. “I…” She stumbled over her words. “…I don’t want you to not be okay.”

It was my turn to pull her into a hug, even though this one was a softer, more gentle one.

“You ever gotten into a fight before?” She asked.

I shook my head. “I’m not even sure if this could even be qualified as a fight.” I told her.

“Why, did he beat you that badly?” Nicole joked uneasily. It was clear she was trying to put up a happy front for me at this point.

I shrugged. “You could say that. I didn’t hit him once. He even asked me to at one point.”

“Why?” Nicole asked, cocking her head.

“I’m a pacifist.” I reasoned. “I don’t like hurting people.”

“In that case, don’t get into a fight again. Seeing you like this hurts me.” Nicole replied, giving me a weak smile. “Come on. We’re going to my place.” She took my hand in hers and with a slower walking speed than usual, led me inside where we got my things, then headed out to her car. She turned it on and Queen blasted through the car.

“You and the ’80s.” I quipped.

“You and every fucking bad thing under the sun.” Nicole shot back. “I’d take listening to Queen over willingly getting the shit beaten out of me any day.”

***

The drive over to her place was pretty quiet, and after a fairly normal encounter with her parents (who didn’t even notice my condition), Nicole flopped me down on her bed, where I immediately passed out. I had no clue how long I was out cold for, and when I came to, Nicole had her back to me, doing something on the computer, shirt off.

I mumbled something indistinctly and she spun around on her chair. “Welcome back, squirt.” She said happily as she jumped into the bed with me. “How are you feeling?”

“A little out of it.” I lamely answered. “What time is it?”

“Around 8:03pm.” Nicole answered without looking at the clock. Out of instinct, I turned on my phone and checked. It was silly of me to doubt her – 8:03pm exactly. Wait. My phone.

“M-my parents…” I started.

Nicole cut me off with her hand. “Don’t worry. I already texted them and told them you were at a friend’s place. I don’t know if it was my place to tell them about today, so that’s all I said.” She gave me a friendly smile.

“I… I changed my passcode…” I said lamely.

“I know. 5632.” Nicole responded, then winked at me. “Tricky.”

I shook my head with a small smile and sat up on the bed. Looking at her open closet, I found her full-body mirror and inspected my face. Most of the swelling had gone down, and unless one was told to inspect my face for differences, the only thing one could see was the cut on my lip, and even that wasn’t bleeding anymore. In the mirror, I saw Nicole slither behind me.

“You still look handsome, hotshot.” She purred, kissing my cheek. She set her head down on my shoulder and sighed contentedly. I felt her boobs press against my back. Instinctively, I cranked my neck back, lifted her head and started slowly kissing down her neck.

“Even while you’re in this state?” Nicole asked devilishly.

“You know it.” I replied, shifting myself so I could face her. Nicole grinned as she put her hands around my neck and gave me a really enthusiastic kiss on the lips.

Smiling, I asked her, “What was that for?”

“I’m kinda excited.” She answered. “We haven’t really done this in a while.” She looked down and bit her lip. “I kinda miss it.”

“At least there’s no expectations I have to live up to.” I winked.

She smiled. “Who cares? I love it when we do this anyway. I… enjoy you.”

I smiled innocently for a second, then cocked an eyebrow. “What’s with the sappiness?” I asked her humorously. “Where’s that trademark Nicole sassiness?”

“Oh, shut up.” She replied jokingly as she pounced on me and pinned me to the mattress, wasting no time in peppering my neck with kisses.

“You know,” She said slowly and sensuously, “It’s not very fair that I’m the only one shirtless here.”

Smiling, I waited for her to get off of me and began to remove my shirt. I winced as I did so – the pain was still there. After a few unnecessary seconds of struggling, I managed to pull the shirt over my head.

I looked down at my chest and saw some bruising – nothing severe. I guess my body overreacted during the fight – after all, I had never been in a fight before. I figured I’d be good as new in a few weeks.

Nicole traced lines over my chest delicately. “Battle scars.” She said softly.

I moved my hands up to her breasts and began to caress them. “Lady pillows.” I mockingly retorted.

With a smile on her face, she rolled her eyes. “Mature.” She giggled, before leaning in to kiss me again. The kiss wasn’t casual nor was it enthusiastic – just deep, slow, and meaningful. Every time I thought it would end, Nicole would just pull me back in and kiss me again. Gradually, our kisses became more and more open before her tongue made the first move, playing with mine. I followed suit, moving my arms around her in an embrace. There we were, the unstable psychic and the anti-Muhammad Ali, lying together shirtless, tongues locked, lost in the moment.

Eventually we tore away from each other, stopping to look each other in the eyes. “Remember what I said about sometimes not enjoying having my boobs sucked?” Nicole softly asked me.

“Yeah?” I asked her encouragingly, forming a grin.

“This isn’t one of those times.” Nicole answered with a sparkle in her eye.

I needed no more encouragement. Immediately, I moved south and traced a line down her neck with my tongue, eventually landing at her perfect nipples. For now they were soft, but I was ready to change that. With hunger that surprised even myself, I give her right nipple a swift lick, followed by a sudden suck.

“Mm…” Nicole moaned softly. “No need to rush in, squirt. This isn’t a competition. You have all the time in the world.”

Taking her advice, I took the more subtle approach, slowly licking around her nipple, making her shudder. With my free hand I tired to mimic my tongue’s actions on her other nipple as my tongue traced lines around her right areola. I could feel both of them get hard within seconds of my actions, and knew it was time to step up the game. I slowly closed my mouth around the one nipple and gave it a slow yet meaningful suck. Right after, I twisted her other nipple in my other hand, earning me a coo of encouragement from Nicole as she mashed her breasts into my face.

Laughing internally, I kept up the pace, licking and sucking away as my free hand travelled south to her pants, undoing the button slowly and meaningfully. Nicole giggled devilishly.

“Aren’t we eager.” She murmured as she broke away from me and stood up off the bed. She reached down to take her pants off, but before she did, she grinned, shuffled up next to me, and started to gyrate her hips.

I smiled as I realized what she was doing. She smiled back and turned around, striking a provocative pose as she stuck her ass out at me. Taking the bait, I reached forward and smacked her on the ass with some force.

“Ouch.” She said playfully. “I think it would be much more effective if these pesky things weren’t in the way, don’t you?” She asked, teasingly bringing her pants down inch by inch. Driven impatient by her antics, I grabbed her pants at both sides and yanked them down. Laughing softly, Nicole kicked them away from her ankles and turned back to face me.

I could see that she didn’t shave since we had our last encounter. Her legs sported a decent amount of hair that gathered at the top, as if to tell me where to go next. I didn’t mind in the slightest – Nicole could look beautiful from any angle.

Clearly as impatient as I was, Nicole pounced again onto me, grinding her crotch into mine as her hand traced its way down from my neck all the way to my pants, undoing the button as effortlessly as I’ve come to expect from her. Without even waiting for me to stand up and do it myself, she pulled my pants down and off of me in one fell swoop that I swear wasn’t possible for humans to perform.

Nicole looked down and grinned. “Looks like someone’s already excited.” She whispered coquettishly.

“It helps when I have a girl as beautiful as you give me a lap dance.” I replied, kissing her on the cheek.

She giggled, and I swear I saw the beginning of a blush on her face. “Well then, hotshot, should we get to the main attraction?” She asked me sensuously.

“Just like that?” I asked.

Nicole shrugged and looked down between my legs. “I’m already as excited as I’m gonna get, and I want to save my orgasm for when I have this…” She grabbed my dick through my boxers and leaned in close. “Inside me.” She finished, whispering.

Well, that sure as hell convinced me. With a grin I sat up on the bed, removing my boxers as fast as I could. She matched me, never taking her eyes off of mine as she removed her panties, revealing her beautiful pussy for me to see.

It had been too long. Her trademark erect clit was looking me straight in the eye, daring me to make a move. Like her legs, she hadn’t shaved her vagina either, but I didn’t care in the slightest about that. This moment wasn’t about the details. It was just about Nicole and I, sharing this moment.

Nicole, sighing contentedly, lay down on the bed, fully naked, grabbing a breast in each hands and twisting her nipples. Biting down on her lower lip, she motioned with her eyes towards her crotch. “I’m yours, Adam. Take me.” She all but whispered sweetly.

“And I’m yours, Nicole.” I whispered back as I crawled forward, getting closer and closer until my fully erect dick with pulsing with anticipation and aimed right at her entrance. At the feeling of me pressed right up against her, Nicole instinctively moaned. “God, I’ve missed this.” She breathed, eyes closed. Not waiting for her eyes to open, I leaned forward to give her a slow, full kiss on the lips as I guided myself into her.

I grabbed her waist and pulled, watching as inch by inch, I began to sink in to her. There was nothing like a familiar feeling – just the right amount of caressing tightness, a warmth that enveloped me as I sunk in deeper and deeper, and a beautiful poetic feeling of what we were sharing being so right.

“Oh, Nicole.” I moaned without even realizing it.

“Mmmm…” Nicole responded, so focussed on what she was feeling she couldn’t even give me a coherent response. Slowly, I began to pull on Nicole’s hips, pulling myself out of her then pushing back in while remaining focussed on her angelic face. Over time, I couldn’t help but kiss those full, beautiful lips, as I leaned forth, pushing myself in further than I have before, and met her at the lips. We stayed there, lip-locked, even as I continued where I left off, picking up speed, causing her to grab around my back and dig her nails into my back.

Out of reflex, I retracted from the kiss and emitted a sudden, “Agh!”

Nicole loosened her grasp on me. “Sorry,” She softly said, still clearly in her own little world. “Still hurts?”

“Just aches.” I gave her a reassuring smile, but once I realized it, I was actually still hurting. I was just distracted.

“I’ll try to go easy on you.” She quietly replied.

Smiling at her, I continued, slowly pumping myself in and out of her, enjoying the sensations that only being inside Nicole’s pussy gave me.

“Ohhhh…” She moaned as I continued my efforts. “That’s so nice, Adam…”

Feeling more in-the-spirit, I started to pick up the pace, feeling Nicole’s body rhythm match mine as we shared a song in our body movements.

The feelings only enhanced as we continued and Nicole’s moans got more constant. Eventually my mind went crazy with lust for her and I latched on to one of her boobs, throwing subtlety out of the window as I flicked and sucked on her nipple. Nicole responded by cradling my head, occasionally mashing my head into her boob when she hit a high spot.

Eventually, just as I was getting into a good rhythm, Nicole pushed my head away from her now swollen nipple and sat up, forcing me to pull out of her. “Hey!” I protested, caught in my own lust.

Nicole just smiled devilishly and flopped around, getting up on her knees and wiggling her butt provocatively at me. “I just wanted to change positions.” She said with a mock innocence.

With my face turning from disappointment to excitement, I shuffled up behind her and ran my hand up and down her pussy lips, feeling both how wet she had become and her moans resonating through her body.

“D-don’t tease,” Nicole moaned, now fully anticipating my entrance. “Just go for it.”

“Mmm, I dunno.” I responded, teasing her. “I kind of like this.” Slowly, I inserted one finger, then another, stroking her with my two fingers in an increasingly fast motion.

“A-Adam…” Nicole moaned. “This feels great, but I really wanna feel you inside me.”

A third finger was inserted as I felt myself go in far enough to rub her g-spot. I stopped pumping and focussed on that, earning an audible ‘ahh’ from Nicole. Every time I flicked my fingertips over her g-spot, her body spasmed a little bit, and I enjoyed every second of my power over her.

“Adam…” Nicole moaned, more desperately this time.

Truth be told, I was aching to be inside her too, but there was no way I was giving up on the status quo I had acquired. “Not yet!” I all but sang, pushing my three fingers fully inside of her.

“You suck.” She hissed. “When?”

“When you say the magic word.” I replied, deciding then to go on a full-out assault, pumping my fingers back and forth with both speed and force, in and out of her.

“P… pl…” Nicole kept attempting, but failed every time. Each time she got close to saying it, I would surprise her, tweaking a nipple with my free hand or temporarily adding a fourth finger. “Please?” She finally squeaked.

Fair is fair, I thought. “Alright, if that’s what you want.” I replied back triumphantly. Sitting up, I grabbed around her, savoring the feel of her ass in my hands for a few seconds before I guided myself into her and pushed inside her in one fell swoop.

“Oh, god…” Nicole moaned as I pushed myself inside her to the hilt in one motion. Grabbing around her ass for support, I wasted no time, my goal now not to tease, but to give her the ride of her life.

As I thrust myself in and out of Nicole’s hungry pussy, I reached around from her hips to grab a boob in each hand. It meant I had to bend over her back, but it was worth it. I was leaving kisses all down her back as I drilled her, earning a mix of moans and coos of appreciation from Nicole.

There was an open road to Nicole’s climax quickly approaching, and I was fixing my miles between myself and there. “Oh, Adam, it’s building, I can feel it!” Nicole nearly whined as I continued pushing myself into her over and over. Her breaths became shorter and shorter, each one turning more into an audible moan than the last.

“It’s coming, I can feel it…” She managed. “It’s gonna be a big one…” I kept up my efforts, trying to make even bigger motions inside her as I filled Nicole in the most intimate way. Hey body starting to quiver, I heard her manage to plead, “G-go faster!”

“Why?” I asked in between thrusts.

“I w-want us to come together.” She managed to say. “Please, hurry and build it up! I w-want to feel you explode inside me, baby!”

Hearing Nicole make such a request certainly helped me on my way, and with a newfound effort, I grabbed onto her hips again and doubled my speed, focussing on my pleasure more than hers. After all, she was almost there and this what she wanted.

I could feel a spring being pushed down inside me, pressure gathering in between my legs, as if my whole body was sending its energy to one area. Almost on cue, Nicole groaned, “Please t-tell me you’re close… Can’t hold on much longer.”

“I am, babe, I am.” I moaned. I never had used the word babe before… It felt right. In the moment, I didn’t concentrate on that – I was too overcome with the sensations I was feeling.

“Hurry, Adam, please.” Nicole begged.

“A few seconds more…” I wheezed between thrusts. “Here it is…” I felt myself boiling just below the surface. It was here, and I knew it was going to be a big one – as I thrust a few more times, I felt myself erupt and I exploded inside Nicole.

“Oh, my, GOD,” Nicole moaned in breaths as she felt me filling her up. Her body began to quiver and her arms failed her, leaving her upper half collapsed as I felt a second, then third, spurt fill her up.

“Ohhhhhhhh…” She moaned satisfactorily, lightly pressing her hips against mine, savoring the moment. She breathed a few times, then quietly managed to say, “That was incredible.”

Gingerly, I pulled myself out of her, leaving a lot of my spoils still inside her, a trail of it slowly going down her leg. “You were incredible.” I told her softly.

Nicole whisked her head around to look at me and broke into a heartwarmingly genuine grin. “C’mere, you.” She growled cutely and flipped around, now on her back, pulling me in for a big hug. I could feel the wetness on her leg, but I didn’t mind.

The hug rapidly turned into a cuddle, one which we remained in for what seemed like hours. Every so often, we would change positions to whatever felt more comfortable. I was big spoon, then little spoon, then we ended up facing each other. I kissed her softly on her forehead and she giggled softly, then sighed contentedly.

“I like this.” She purred.

“What?” I asked her.

“This. Us.” She answered.

I grinned to myself. “You keep saying you don’t want one, but it looks more and more like we’re in a relationship.”

She playfully shoved me away and looked off to the distance. “Yeah, well, tough. No matter how much you want me as a girlfriend, you’ll just have to deal with it.” She said in a mock pretentious tone.

“I wouldn’t complain, you know.” I said seriously.

She looked back at me. “What? You and me?”

I nodded, heart in my throat. I didn’t think anything would actually happen between Nicole and I, but I would have loved to take a chance with her.

“You’d have to give up sex with Megan. And whatever you may have left for May.” She reasoned.

“I’d do it in a heartbeat.” I promised her.

She chuckled aloud. “Aw, how sweet. You have a crush on me.” She brushed her hair past her head dramatically. “Take a number.”

“Oh yeah? That often, huh?” I asked her.

“It’s the black hair, blue eyes girl thing. I got lucky in the genes department.” She answered. “Plus, I’m sure you noticed, I’m fucking awesome.”

“Yes, I did.” I playfully answered, scooting up to her and kissing her cheek.

“Oh gosh, you can’t do that now.” Nicole joked. “You have a crush on me. It’s weird.”

“We’ve been having sex for months. Did you expect me not to get attached to you?” I asked her, half-seriously.

“Don’t blame me if you can’t hold back your emotions in a no-strings-attached fling.” Nicole simply said, avoiding eye contact.

“Oh, so all of your flings are like this then?” I challenged her, moving her head with my hands, daring her to look me in the eye.

“I didn’t say that.” Nicole softly answered, a gleam in her eye. She leaned forward and gave me a slow peck on the lips. “But yeah, no relationship, thanks. It’s nothing personal, it’s just not very me.”

“Would you pick me if you were comfortable with relationships?” I asked boldly.

“Excuse me?” Nicole asked, caught off guard.

“Would you pick me if you were comfortable with relationships?” I asked again, word-for-word, with intent.

“Well, I mean…” Nicole began, flustered. “That’s not fair. You’re putting me on the spot. Like, I’m not comfortable with relationships in the first place, so there’s no way I could even answer that, because it’s not even in my thoughts.”

I could tell the subject made her uneasy for whatever reason, so I let it be. “Okay, sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” I said.

“Don’t worry, squirt.” Nicole smiled, though this one was a lot less genuine. Her smile was lost immediately as she looked down and scanned her eyes around the sheets.

“Something on your mind?” I asked her.

She looked up at me slowly. “I…” She began, clearly not knowing how to say what was on her mind. She shook her head, looked down, and caught me off guard with a small smile. “I know about the conversation you had with Phil today.”

“You saw?” I asked, turning a deathly pale as Phil’s threats replayed in my mind’s video projector.

She chuckled and shook her head. “Phil texted me, and wanted to talk, but made himself sound like the bad guy. I know him well enough to know if he’s being that aware, he needed help. And you’re the only one I’ve told about this, besides Mitch.”

“Don’t tell him you know I talked to him.” I blurted out, the comment about Mitch not even registering.

Nicole gave another chuckle, this one more uneasy. “Uh, sure, but why?”

“I promised Phil I wouldn’t tell anyone, even you.” I said, fear evident on my face.

Nicole gave a reassuring smile. “Okay. Mum’s the word, hotshot.” She smiled again then turned away from me, hopping off the bed and picking up her clothes.

“Did I make a mistake?” I asked. “Will this help you and Phil work out your differences?”

“You did a good deed, dumbass.” Nicole countered. “Maybe if Phil isn’t as dumb as I think he is, we’ll be able to co-exist.” She stopped and pointed at me. “But this was volatile subject matter. Don’t do this kind of shit again. This could have gone way south. Phil could have hurt you if he had a mind to. He could have hurt me.” The cogs spun in Nicole’s head and a thought hit her. “What happened this afternoon… That wasn’t Phil’s doing, was it?”

“No, no, don’t worry.” I reassured her.

“No, really, I need you to be deadly serious here.” Nicole responded quickly, more serious than I had ever seen her in my life. She climbed on to bed and looked me in the eyes. “If he threatened you if you tell, we can arrange to have you protected. I just need to know the truth. Do NOT lie to me about this. Was this Phil’s doing?”

“I promise, Nicole. This had nothing to do with Phil.” I swore to her.

“Okay.” She said uneasily, then leapt off the bed again, regaining her shirt.

“You know…” Nicole started as she put it back on. She gave a soft chuckle and turned to face me. “If you’re willing to work that hard for me to stay on the council, I guess I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

My neutral expression slowly turned into a huge grin.

“I’m really lucky I met a friend like you, Adam. You’re a really special guy.” She smiled warmly as she put her pants on.

“Well, I’m not exactly boyfriend material, but I’m still working on that.” I countered.

“Fuck off.” She gave me a wink. “Keep working on it for a few years, then maybe I’ll entertain the thought.” Now fully clothed, she tossed my clothing onto the bed. “And put a shirt on, you creep. This is my house.”

“Gee, shirtless in the Baker residence. You’d know all about that.” I retorted. In response, Nicole lifted her shirt, playfully flashing me before hopping onto the bed, joining me as I put my pants on.

“If I’m staying on Council next year, I guess I should shoot for the moon, huh?” Nicole asked, trying to generate conversation.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked her, more out of curiosity.

“How’s this for a headline: Nicole Baker, Council President.” Nicole asked, before grinning at me.

“Yeah? I’d vote for you!” I grinned back.

Nicole laughed softly to herself. “Actually, you wouldn’t be able to.” She said simply.

“What? Why not?” I asked. As far as I knew, council members could still vote in elections.

“Well, pairings can’t vote for themselves.” Nicole murmured, looking up from the sheets into my eyes. “How’d you like to run as my Vice President, squirt?”

My heart fluttered. Vice President. In terms of high school, that was pretty much a telltale sign of making it, especially to a student who just a year ago was a bullied nobody. “In grade 10? Would they allow that?” I asked her.

“I’m Nicole Baker. They love me.” Nicole winked at me. “If I asked them to run alongside a potato, they’d allow it.”

“Gee, thanks.” I sarcastically quipped.

“Oh, you know what I mean.” Nicole shot back. “So how about it, huh?”

“It sounds like fun, Nicole. I’d love to work with you.” I genuinely told her.

Our hug thereafter lasted a lifetime, as each of us held our future in our arms.

Chapter Twelve

“Why the hell did it have to be here and now?” I ranted. “I don’t want him to be here. I wanted to get away from him. I feel like I’m no longer comfortable here with him around. Every time I try to leave my past behind it just comes back to haunt me in a different way.”

Mr. Salvador sat up attentively. “Did you just say there was a fight?” he asked me.

I blinked twice. “Is that all you heard?” I asked him, anger building up. “I thought you invited me here so I could talk about my feelings, not so you could document what’s going on around the school. I thought you were doing this to help, not so I could be your little spy.”

Instantly I regretted saying that as Salvador leaned back and lowered one eyebrow. “Adam, remember that first and foremost, I am your teacher.”

“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry.” I meekly interrupted.

“Like it or not, when you’re in this school, teachers are the authority, not students. And students do not get to talk to their teachers that way.” He continued.

“I get it. My bad.” I continued weakly.

“Stop talking.” He ordered. “Listen to me. I am doing this to help you. That doesn’t change the fact that first and foremost, I am a teacher, and I have certain responsibilities. If you didn’t want me to act like this, you shouldn’t have told me that there was a fight. Now, unless you want me to take this further, I’m going to need the name of the person you were fighting with. If you don’t know his name, I’ll need his deion, and Mr. Scott will be notified. If need be, we can arrange some kind of protection.”

“I don’t want him to be in trouble.” I feebly managed. “It’s not that I’m afraid of him. Hell, I already told you I didn’t throw a damn punch at him.” As I recollected my previous rant to him, I thanked my lucky stars I didn’t mention that it was Matt who fought me, or why. “I just… Can we just please forget that I mentioned that?”

“Adam, even if I wanted to I’m not allowed to.” Mr. Salvador answered seriously. “I would be neglecting my responsibilities as a teacher in order to accommodate something I’m doing out of my own time to begin with.”

“We don’t have to continue doing this then.” I said, deflating a little bit more each second.

Slightly, Mr. Salvador raised his eyebrows. “I can tell you want to keep doing this.” he began. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t keep coming here. Are you telling me you’d go that far against your own wishes to assist someone who wants you to feel pain?”

“Mhm.” I hummed.

Mr. Salvador exhaled, loudly and lengthily. “Adam, it’s always good to help others, but there comes a point when it becomes self-destructive. You can lose yourself if you become too obsessed with helping others. Sometimes you need to help yourself.”

“And what if telling you his name won’t help me?” I asked him. “What if I have a weird history with him that I want to keep secret so badly that I would clam up like… like this instead of telling you?” No one said anything for a giant pause. “If I was worried about my safety, I’d tell you. I just don’t want this becoming the school’s business.” I continued, the silence making me uncomfortable.

Mr. Salvador sighed again loudly. “There’s two ways we could do this.” He concluded. “Number one, I tell your story to Mr. Scott and he takes this whole thing over. You’re asked to comply and for both your safety and the safety of others, he’ll find a way to get you to tell him.” He then, uncharacteristically, took his eyes off of mine and looked at the ceiling. “Number two, you leave right now, considering we didn’t just have a conversation and I haven’t seen you since your exam.”

Relief washed over me. “You mean it?” I asked incredulously.

“Don’t make me think about it, just accept.” He all but barked at me.

“I understand.” I said, quickly standing up and getting my backpack. “Thank you. Thank you.” I said, twice due to my overwhelming gratefulness. I didn’t think he would have done that, considering how by-the-book he was.

As I neared the doorway of his office, I heard him call, “Adam.” again.

“Yes?” I asked, turning around to see he was still facing the ceiling.

“I’m sorry to hear your past is bothering you.” He commented. “I know what it’s like to want to let go of something, but can’t. In my experience, moving forward is the only cure.”

I half-smiled. He listened more than I thought. “Noted.” I replied. “Goodbye!”

I walked outside his room and into the main hallway to see Nicole on her phone. Upon presumably hearing my footsteps, she looked up, smiled, and almost ran over to me, greeting me with a smothering hug.

“Hey, hotshot.” She sang as she broke off the hug. “I missed you.”

“It’s only been a day.” I lamely commented.

“Don’t ruin the moment.” She commanded, then looked my face over. “How are you feeling, is it healing?”

I shrugged. “I feel like it’s going away.”

“It sure doesn’t look like it.” She remarked aloud, clearly staring at the gash on my lip.

I lowered one eyebrow and stared at her. “Thanks. I feel so much better now.” I sarcastically replied.

“Good.” She beamed. “Now, can we get out of here? I’m hungry.” Not even needing a response from me, she began to walk down the hallway and I followed. “How does Burger King sound?” She asked me.

“If it’s with you, it sounds like a great time.” I said, half sarcastically, half sincerely.

She audibly groaned. “Easy there, Captain Cheesy.” She joked.

“Don’t ruin the moment.” I ordered with a smile on my face.

***

As the end of winter turned into spring, a lot of my past melted away with the snow. The student council seemed to all but forget what had happened between myself and Megan, save for one particular member, and now I was known as student council’s first ever Public Relations guy.

Matt never looked at me once during any of those meetings. Week after week would pass and every time I spoke or I was brought off, he’d suddenly become very interested in the wall. It became very clear why when during one particular meeting, after a fight had broken out between two freshmen, Phil went on a tangent about fights and how it lowers the school’s reputation. Trying to be as subtle as I could, I looked in Matt’s direction. Matt, his eyes somewhere else, no doubt noticed me, as was evident by the pink tone his skin had soon adopted.

I barely recognized what Megan had turned into when I stopped and thought about how she used to be. It wasn’t a bad change, but all of the little things started to add up. Before, during a meeting, she would diligently keep her head forward, seemingly believing she wasn’t worthy to chime in and be one of the gang whenever the council shared a joke. She would only speak when spoken to. Suddenly, she seemed a lot more loose, and a lot less lacking in confidence. I almost missed the days where she was shy and practically jumped when someone talked to her, but at the same, I was glad to have seen her grow. I never did put much thought into how her little get-together with Carson went, but I can imagine it went well, considering how confident she was.

The more school I experienced, the less classes meant to me as the weeks went on. I began to notice less and less what was happening in class, and noticing more and more what was happening outside of class. Training with Nicole in the weights room, karate, student council meetings, even just hanging out with friends… I began to see why some kids did this every day in junior high.

Weekends were no exception. I tried to fill up my schedule to the best of my ability. I had years to catch up on.

“So where are you off to this morning?” Dad asked as he got a coffee mug out of the cupboard.

“I’m going to hang out with Carson.” I simply answered, taking a bite out of the toast mom had prepared for me that morning, looking past the table, through the window and outside, admiring the changes that came with April.

“Carson…” Dad repeated, filling his mug. “Did we meet him? Has he visited here before?”

“I don’t think so.” I answered. “He lives near the school, so our house is kind of out of the way for him.”

“How are you going to get to his place then? You’re not walking, are you?” Mom, ever the worrier, piped up.

“Don’t worry, mom.” I soothed her. “Nicole is going to be driving me.”

“Aw, that Nicole.” Mom said warmly, looking over at dad. “She is such a sweetheart.”

“She’s certainly something, that’s for sure.” Dad remarked, joining us at the table with his mug in one hand, opening up a newspaper with the other.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked him.

“Well… She’s…” Dad struggled with the words, then looked at me with his trademark serious expression. “She’s kind of freaky.”

Shocked that dad would say something like that, I turned to mom, who solemnly nodded. “Freaky?” I repeated.

“In a good way.” Mom soothed me. “We’ve just never met someone like her.”

“You barely know her.” I retaliated, my tone starting to reflect how I felt towards someone calling her ‘freaky.’

“Do you?” Dad asked. “You’re really quick to tell me you’re not dating her. Yet when she comes by, it’s like you’ve known each other for years.”

“My God, dad, you’re right.” I replied, my tone full of wonder, dropping my toast. “After all, friends couldn’t possibly act like that. I guess the secret’s out – I’ve been seeing Nicole since grade 2.”

“Don’t get sarcastic with me.” Dad lightly ordered. “That’s my thing. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, but I really want you to be open with us, and your mother and I… We feel like you’re hiding something from us.”

I turned back to mom, who nodded with a completely serious look on her face. Half of me felt outraged, and the other half felt guilty. The two halves were separate entities – How dare they think I was keeping secrets from them?! I was, but still, why would they think I was? I was a good kid.

“Nicole is the most transparent girl on the planet.” I lied. “You’ve met her, so you know her for who she is. There’s nothing more than that to her.”

“C’mon, Adam.” Dad replied. “All people are at least kind of complicated. Even me.” He put his newspaper away. “Besides, we’ve met Nicole all of three times. The first time, she knew our names before we could introduce ourselves, then you two spent a few hours in your room, alone.”

“We kept the door open.” I lied smoothly. “You guys were just never upstairs to see that. I promise, we didn’t do anything.”

Half acknowledging me, half ignoring me, dad continued. “The second time, she told us that she was visiting because she wanted to get you into video games. An hour later, she’s with us at the kitchen table giving us tips on making quarterly payments for our taxes while you were upstairs playing Call of Portal or whatever it’s called.”

I grinned to myself. Around mid-March, Nicole and I were exhausted after a vigorous training day. We went to my place and skipped all foreplay – I had her bouncing up and down on top of me within minutes. I was so exhausted, I blacked out seconds after I came, and awoke to both her and myself, completely clothed, on my bed. When I asked her what she did while I was passed out, she said “Giving financial advice to your parents.” I totally thought she was kidding.

“You don’t even like video games.” Dad pointed out, pointing an accusatory finger at me.

I shrugged. “Nicole has a way of making them fun.” I lamely remarked. “She’s very convincing.”

“The third time, we barely saw you two before you disappeared upstairs. Then we didn’t see you two at all.” Concern filled his face. “Adam, it’s okay if she’s your girlfriend. Really, it’s okay. And depending on what you two are doing up there, we’ll accept whatever it is. But your mother and I would feel a lot more comfortable if we knew just what you two are up to.”

“And what if we’re just playing video games upstairs?” I asked him coldly. “Why do you think I’m lying to you?”

“Well, number one, you’re dipping your toast in your orange juice.” Dad dryly pointed out. My eyes drifted down to note that my hands had become really fidgety. “Number two, don’t forget that I was young once. True, I didn’t have the same experiences as you, but I know how to be a teen. I know you from the inside out.”

“Oh, come on.” I teased him. “You were a nerd.”

“I was a better nerd than you.” Dad fired back.

“Good one.”

“Now don’t change the topic.” He ordered softly. “Your mom and I will be okay with it if you come clean, but we’d like to know what our son is doing. Is Nicole doing drugs with you? Drinking? Are you two having any kind of… Well, any kind of sex?”

I tried to keep my face as blank as possible. Dad shouldn’t have revealed that he was reading me, because I was concentrating on making myself unreadable.

“Oh, now, Timothy.” My mom softly scolded him. “He’s only in grade nine. Maybe he’s doing drugs, but I don’t think he’s having sex.” She turned to me. “Although asking if he’s kissing her isn’t out of the question. We just want to know. For our own sake.”

If only she knew, I thought to myself. Thinking at a mile a minute so my silence didn’t give me away, I mulled it over in my head. ‘Should I tell them?’ I asked myself. If I told them, it would totally be out in the open. Nicole’s parents knew about it. My parents told me they’d try to accept it. Nicole and I could be ourselves around them. And it was true, my parents were the best. I didn’t enjoy lying to them. It made everything needlessly complicated.

At the same time, I couldn’t shake away the implications of my mom’s comment. I’m only in grade nine, I thought to myself. To her, sex wasn’t even a thing I should have been doing. It wasn’t even a possibility to her that I could be having it, which made telling her all the harder to do. She couldn’t even accept the idea that I was having sex, let alone the fact that it meant nothing to Nicole. If I told them she was my girlfriend, they’d bring it up around her and she would have some objections. Plus, we really would have to leave my bedroom door open. And if I told them we were having casual sex… Nope, not even an option.

I shook my head. “There’s no kissing.” I answered, and turned to dad. “And definitely no drugs. Or drinking. I thought you knew I’m not like that.”

The guilt card didn’t work on dad, as I should have known. He shrugged, putting on a soft face but still challenging me with his eyes. “I don’t presume.” He answered simply.

Just then, a lightbulb turned on above my head. Thinking on my feet, I swiftly added, “You know she had a boyfriend until recently, right? Phil Love. Head of student council. I’m not a homewrecker. And she’s not into drugs.” I pointed out.

“Alright, alright, take it easy.” Dad soothed me. I didn’t respond, but he sighed and continued. “Look, we’re not dumb. You’re our son and we love you, and we also know you. I know you’re growing up so you think we couldn’t possibly know you, but news flash, we do. And we know there’s something happening that we don’t know about. And as parents it’s our duty to be nosy, because if you act as secretly as you do, we can’t know for sure whether it’s something we should know about.”

I visibly shrunk in my chair.

“And lying about it doesn’t make anything better.” He added, a tone of slight annoyedness to his tone.

The familiar honk of a Ford Focus broke me out of my bubble of anxiety. Breathing a sigh of relief, I stood up and quickly swallowed the last of my toast. “She’s here.” I managed to say through my last mouthful. “I’ll be back for supper, okay?”

Instead of dad letting me go, my heart sank as he shook his head meaningfully. He pointed to my chair. “Sit down.” He ordered humorlessly. “She can wait.”

My parents and I never fought. We never had any kind of serious arguments. I was downright scared. I could barely feel my limbs as I slunk back down into my chair. I could feel my breathing quicken as I felt my now unfamiliar anxiety coming back to me.

Looking into my dad’s eyes, I attributed them to something I hadn’t before: fear. It felt awful. Feeling like my parents weren’t on my side was downright awful. I felt unsafe. Like my world became a lot less stable. Like the house was more unwelcoming.

Dad studied my face for a second. “Nicole really likes to get inside other people’s heads, doesn’t she?” He asked, not bothering to hide that it was leading up to something. I could only weakly nod. “Let’s turn the tables then. She doesn’t get along well with her parents, does she?”

“Why would you ask something l-” I started. Dad cut me off with a raised hand and a stern expression.

“Just answer the question.” He calmly ordered.

“No.” I weakly responded. “She doesn’t.”

“I can tell.” Dad replied, leaning back into his chair. I glanced at mom. Her expression was noticeably sad. Dad was angry that I was hiding something, but mom was sad. Disappointed. Like me hiding something from her was a failure of hers and that I was making her sad just by how I acted. It tore me apart. The longer I looked at either of my two parents, the worse I felt.

Dad cleared his throat and continued. “In high school, you are who you hang out with. Ever since you started hanging out with Nicole, usually you’ve been happier and more confident. That’s great and we’re happy you are. And we mean that.” He looked over at mom, who just nodded. “But you’ve also distanced yourself from us. You’ve become more secretive, and it’s gotten to the point where… Where we miss you.”

Miss me. They miss me. This was getting hard to listen to.

Dad opened his mouth to speak again, but noticed I was too busy thinking about what he had said. “Are you even paying attention to me?” He asked incredulously. He looked over at mom, who just looked down. “He’s not, is he?” He asked her. She didn’t respond. Dad looked back at me with a look that told me he couldn’t believe me, couldn’t believe what I was doing. “I guess I’m wasting my time then.” He said, getting up. “When you’re ready to be mature and talk to us, tell us. We’d love to talk to you. Until then, we’re clearly getting nowhere.” He walked over to the coffee machine, getting himself a second cup. After, he turned to look at me. “Have you seen Nicole and her parents in the same room? I’m sure it’s very glamorous. Is it something you want? Because you’re on the right track.”

“Timothy, that’s enough.” Mom finally spoke up. Her voice was quivering. “Maybe that topic is sensitive to him. She obviously means a lot to him. No need to bring that into our house.”

Dad blinked twice, looked at mom, then back at me. I couldn’t any longer be unreadable – I’m sure my face was a projection of just how uncomfortable I was. “You’re right.” He admitted. “I’m sorry. That’s no business of mine.” He sighed and sat back down at the table again. “I just… I just want to say something that will make you talk. I’m trying everything I can here, because I want to know. We want to know.”

I said nothing. Dad took a long swig from his cup, and cleared his throat. “Tell you what,” He began, “Let’s start with something small. I only will ask one question. One question, okay?”

I nodded weakly.

“Is there something going on that you’re not telling us?” Dad asked.

I inhaled slowly my mouth, and swallowed hard. Closing my eyes, I slowly nodded.

“Okay.” Dad simply said. “Thank you.” He waited until I was looking him square in the face, and did something I had barely seen before – smiled. He was clearly making himself do it, especially since judging by the way his smile looked, he never did it unless he had to force it, but the feeling behind it was still there. “You can go.” He added, gesturing to the front door with his mug.

I looked from dad to mom. Mom still had a sad expression painted on her face, looking down at the floor. I looked back to dad, whose gaze seemed fixated on the kitchen table. Taking it as a hint, I slowly got up, and, as if in a trance, put on my outdoor shoes. It felt like my body was moving on its own as I walked outside and got in Nicole’s car.

“Holy shit, Yertle the Turtle.” Nicole complained as I shut the door behind me. “Could you have been any slower? You’re lucky I didn’t reconsider and go back home.”

“Sorry.” I mumbled as she backed out of the driveway. Upon hearing my response, she glanced over at me and put the car into park, still in the driveway.

“You okay?” She asked me.

I felt stupid for having to hold back tears. This was stupid, this was small, this was nothing to cry about, I had told myself. I was crying way too much as it was. It seemed like anything anybody ever did in first year was cry, and I wanted to be the pillar of strength so badly. “Do… do you…” I asked, trying to keep my voice from cracking. “Do you ever wish your parents and you got along?” My voice was an octave higher by the time I had finished my sentence, and I was breathing heavily to stop the tears from flowing.

“Whoa-ho, new development.” Nicole remarked, taking off her seatbelt, undoing mine and holding me in an embrace. I accepted it immediately, burying my head into her chest. “What’s going on, hotshot?” She asked me softly. “Trouble with your parents?”

I was breathing deeply, but had succeeded in not crying. I just nodded, knowing the motion of my head would be enough of an indication.

“Well, welcome to my flippin’ world.” She remarked dryly, not knowing the sting the truth of her words caused.

“That’s not helping.” I managed to say into her shirt.

“Yeah, well, it’s the truth.” She replied. “When you get older, your parents just lose their touch. At first I thought it was because of family problems, but seriously, you’ll see in a few years. My parents don’t get me at all.”

“My parents don’t trust me anymore.” I said, detaching myself from her.

She chuckled. Taking my detachment from her as a sign to continue driving, she put the car back into reverse and looked behind her. “Yup, that’ll h-”

“It’s because of you.” I bluntly said, interrupting her.

I had never seen Nicole caught off guard so greatly. She stopped mid-sentence, her eyes widened, and tried as her lips did to form new words, nothing was coming out of her mouth. She faced the front again and put the car back into park. Taking her hands off of the wheel, she placed them on her legs and turned to face me. “Excuse me?”

I still fought my emotions as I continued. “My parents and I are really close, and they noticed I’ve been getting distant, and… Dad knew. He asked me if you had a bad relationship with your parents. He thinks you’re rubbing off on me.”

Nicole stared at me as if I told her the school was bombed. “You get into a small fight with your shitty parents and your dad instantly blames me?” She asked incredulously. “Holy shit. Find me someone’s dad that likes me. Find one. You can’t do it. Fuckin’A.”

“I’m scared, Nicole.” I managed.

“Get used to it.” Nicole replied, losing all emotion in her voice. “It’s gonna get a lot fucking worse from here. I’m not going to stop hanging out with you just because your dad’s on his fucking period.”

“It’s because we’re hanging out.” I explained. “Mom and dad noticed all the time we spent in my room and asked me if we’re doing drugs or having sex or something. They equated having sex with being boyfriend and girlfriend, so I lied. I couldn’t tell them we’re having casual sex. They would never understand.”

“So, your parents think you’re hiding something from them.” Nicole reasoned. I nodded. “And you are.” She concluded. I nodded again. “So what’s the problem? Other than daddy-o thinking it’s cool to blame me for him being a shitty dad.”

“Nicole, live in my world.” I practically begged. “I trust my parents a lot. They trust me a lot. This isn’t your fault, but I don’t want to make them distrust me like this. We need to do something.”

“Do something?” Nicole asked. “Like tell them about all the sex we’re having?” She lowered an eyebrow. “Then they’ll ask about when I became your girlfriend, then you’ll tell them I’m not. Suddenly I’m not allowed over. I have to sneak through the window. We get caught.” She pretended to make an explosion with her hands. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s the only way.”

“I don’t know what I want to do yet.” I mumbled.

“You just want to do something?” Nicole offered. I nodded. She threw her head back and sighed. “Fine. I’ll fucking think of something. But the running theme of you crying all the fucking time and me saving your ass is getting old, fast. What the hell would you do without me?”

“I wouldn’t be in this situation if I was without you.” I replied without thinking. “I also wouldn’t have had sex with Megan.” I nearly added, ‘or May,’ but had the common sense not to say it out loud.

Realizing what I had said, I suddenly whipped my head to look back at Nicole, who was staring straight at the wheel. “I mean…” I lamely started.

“No, you’re right.” Nicole responded softly, with an worrying calmness to her tone. “None of this shit would have happened if I didn’t start it. I’m sorry.” She turned to me and gave a small smile. “I’ll do something to fix stuff up with your parents, squirt.”

I was borderline horrified with myself. “Nicole, I didn’t mean…”

“It’s okay.” She interrupted with a noticeably weak voice. “I started it. It’s the least I can do. I’m sure you want that relationship with your parents back.”

I bet she does too, I thought to myself as I looked down. I couldn’t find the moral energy to do anything else. Silently, Nicole began the long drive to Carson’s.

***

When Carson saw me again outside of school it was like no time had passed, and no awkward ‘I fucked your girlfriend’ events had transpired. So as we began to hang out more and more in the spring, I felt more and more comfortable around him, to the point where I could actually forgive myself enough to talk openly about our love lives. Carson, of course, didn’t really have that problem to begin with.

“You, uh…” He began, eyes on the screen as he continued to dominate me in our Halo match, “You still close with Megan?”

“Yeah, I think so.” I simply answered as I threw a plasma grenade in the wrong direction. “Oops. Yeah, we’re still close. We still talk and stuff. Her brother is kind of sore that I broke things off with her, so we don’t really hang out outside of school, but yeah.”

He shot me in the back, signaling his victory, and gently put the controller down on the table. “I wanted to talk to you about her.”

Here it comes, I thought to myself. I had to suppress my ‘I know what’s coming’ smile as I followed suit and put the controller down. “Yeah? About what?”

“Well, uh… I mean, you haven’t been together for a few months so I figure it’s cool that…”

I feigned ignorance and smiled. “Oh man, are you two dating?”

“Oh, fuck no.” Carson spat out. “I’m not fucking dating anymore. No chance in hell. I am kind of… Fucking her, though.”

“Kind of?” I asked him humorously. “What, is it with the lights off?”

Carson breathed a noticeable sigh of relief that I was taking the news well. “I’m full-on fucking your ex. I just didn’t want there to be any bad blood or anything.”

“Nah, man, it’s cool.” I waved him off. “It’s not like she’s mine or anything. I hope you guys are having fun.”

“Well, I figured since you’re honest with shit, I should be too, you know.” He pointed out. “You know what I’m talking about.”

My shoulders hunched up a bit and Carson sat up a little more. “Nah man, don’t be guilty.” He protested. “What’s past is past. What’s in the now is a horny… and I mean horny… little girl. Why the fuck would you give her up?”

“There’s more to a relationship than sex, you know.” I quipped.

“Good thing I’m not in a relationship.” He replied lazily. “I like this. She’s so shy on the outside, but holy fuck, it’s like she was built to be rammed. She gets off from blowing me, you know that?”

“Interesting.” I sarcastically replied.

Carson grinned. “What’s wrong? Was she never like that with you?” He stretched, not bothering to hide his muscles in the process. “Guess I can’t help being such a sexy hunk, huh?”

I only laughed in response, but he continued. “No, I mean it. I don’t mean to be full of myself, but I think I changed her. So like, she’s normally really shy, right?”

I nodded.

“But that’s the thing. You know how this whole thing started between us started?” He asked me.

I chuckled. “She sent you a text out of the blue after a few days eyeing you in science class, saying she wanted to have casual sex with you?”

The look on Carson’s face was priceless. Shock, disbelief, then thought, then bashful acceptance. “She tells you a lot more than I thought.” He mumbled.

“Not exactly.” I said, not able to control my beaming smile at that point. “I sent that text. I set you two up.”

“Say what, Jack?!” Carson replied in disbelief.

I chuckled again. “You aren’t the only person she likes having casual sex with, dude.” I began. “Megan and I have been going at it even since we broke up. Like, a lot. I was her first, but she got really kinky with me too. Hate to burst your bubble, but it’s not just you.”

“Well, shit.” Carson replied dejectedly. “So why’d you play Cupid with her?”

I shrugged. “We were talking about casual sex and I encouraged her to pursue it, y’know, not feel tied down to me.” Carson nodded. “So I asked her who she wanted to sleep with, and she said you.”

“Damn right she did.” Carson replied with a shit-eating grin.

“Shut up.” I quipped. “But as we both know, she’s really freaking shy. So I borrowed her phone and sent you the message.”

“Oh, fuck. Gross.” Carson winced. “I got turned on over your fucking offer, not hers.”

I laughed. “You should be thanking me. Otherwise she never would have acted on her urges for you. She would have had to settle for just me.”

“Oh, dude!” Carson said excitedly, sitting up attentively. “We should totally have a threesome with her.”

“Woah, what?” I asked him. I did not expect that.

“Come on, it would be so awesome. I don’t swing that way so it’s up to you and her to get yourself off, but come on. Megan would make an awesome spitroast.” He replied, keeping up his enthusiasm.

“You are twelve kinds of screwed up, Carson.” I replied. “I think I’ll pass. I’m not as kinky as you.”

“It is a hard life…” Carson mock admitted.

“Plus, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to see your dick.” I jokingly added.

“Ah, right, you’d get too jealous. Gotcha.” Carson replied, not missing a beat.

“Fuck you.” I fired at him.

“Get in line.” He fired right back.

From the corner of my eye, I could see movement. I turned my head to see Jenna, her face twisted into her usual look of disapproval (frankly, a blank face would be twisted for her), peering from around the kitchen wall. She’d been eavesdropping. With my eyes, I alerted Carson to the situation, who just annoyedly sighed loudly.

“Jenna, can you stop poking around?” Carson asked loudly. “In fact, can you fuck off?”

Jenna emerged from the kitchen and folded her arms. “I can’t believe you.” She told Carson condescendingly. “If I tell dad what I just heard…”

“…Then he’ll put on a show for you, tell me not to do it again and nothing in this house will change?” Carson asked obnoxiously. “Just like the last… seventeen times?”

“Megan should mean more to you than a hookup. Did you even hear yourself? The way you asked to have a threesome like that, it was like Megan’s a piece of meat to you.” Jenna pointed out.

“Woah, woah. She’s more than a piece of meat.” Carson defended himself, throwing his hands up in defence. Breaking out into a grin, he added, “She’s a prime cut.”

“You fucking pig.” Jenna yelled at him. “I can’t believe I have to share a house with you.”

“Hey, bark at me from your high horse all you want.” Carson retaliated, picking up his controller and turning back to the screen. “But Megan never complains. Hell, she likes it when I treat her like that. She says it turns her on.” Triumphantly, he turned to Jenna and grinned. “So it can’t really be a problem if you’re complaining for someone who’s happy with the way things are.”

“She isn’t happy with it!” Jenna yelled again, her face turning red. Man, did I ever hate yelling. I shrank back into my chair as she continued. “She thinks she is, but-”

“But what? You think because you spend so much time on fucking Tumblr, you get to say you know people better than they know themselves?” Carson spat, standing up. “Grow the fuck up. The world isn’t the politically correct wet dream you want it to be. If she says there’s a problem, then there’s a problem. If she doesn’t, there isn’t. It’s that simple.” He sat back down again, regaining his composure. “You don’t get to speak on behalf of her. You don’t even fucking know her. Just because you two both happen to be girls doesn’t mean you know what she likes.”

“And because you take advantage of her, you do?!” Jenna asked him furiously.

Carson blew a raspberry. “Take advantage. Sure. You think ‘rape’ is when guys stare at girls on the bus. You think ‘sexual harassment’ is a girl wanting to blow a guy then getting upset at him afterwards for not wanting to hold hands.”

Oh, shit. Oh, god dammit. No fucking way, I thought to myself, as I buried my head into my chest, bending my neck as I did so. Maybe I was biased, but Carson just lost a lot of validity with that point. I don’t know whether it was because I saw firsthand how that crushed Megan, or because Nicole had convinced me I was a monster, but I was entertaining the thought of being on Jenna’s side at this point. Actually, no, I was on no one’s side. At this point, I just wanted them to stop. There was so much yelling, and nobody was right. There was too much yelling. Today has just been a series of yelling, I thought to myself. I wanted to go home. Shit, no I didn’t. My parents were there, and they didn’t like me. Nicole was upset, all thanks to me. I didn’t even know where I wanted to go. I just knew I wanted to go.

When I lifted my head again, it was clear that my thoughts were powerful enough to drown out a good portion of the argument.

“She just likes sex, sis. Accept it. If you can’t accept that I sleep around, at least accept that she does. After all, she’s a girl. According to you, you share a fucking telepathic link.” Carson concluded. “I could be having this same conversation with her in the room. She wouldn’t mind. I’m not the problem, you are.”

Jenna snorted. “Pigs. That’s what you are, Carson.” She fired icily, then turned to me. “And you too. I thought you were better than this.” With that, she huffed and left the room.

Carson said something after her, but it was muffled. Was I a pig? Did I treat Megan right? The more I thought about our history, the more smiling memories came to mind, but the more a resounding ‘no’ answered me. Ignoring her at the dance, having her blow me, cheating on her then never telling her the full story, treating her as a glorified sex toy… Shit, even my fucking nickname for her was ‘fucktoy.’ She smiled at the end of all of it, but… I was awful to her. I was awful. I made her like this. Maybe she wanted to feel used because that’s how I made her feel. Like her only worth to me was for sex. After all, that’s when we really connected. Matt was right. I turned Megan into a slut. Worse, I turned her into a slut who gets off on feeling used, because that’s how her first boyfriend, me, made her feel right as I gave the sexually charged girl an orgasm. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

“Dude.” Carson interrupted me from my thoughts.

I shook my head and looked at him. He was looking intently at me. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I lied.

“Don’t lie to me, dude.” Carson told me. “You can’t let her inside your head. She just gets off on making people feel like shit.” He snorted and looked off to the direction where she left. “I dunno what her problem is, but don’t think for a second what she said is true. Remember, she doesn’t know you. Or Megan. Honestly, fuck Jenna. Fuck her. Yeah?” He looked at me expectantly.

“Yeah. Fuck her.” I said with conviction, putting on enough of a show to seem convincing. On the inside, my feelings were in a warzone. Today was going on for way too long.

***

It was a slaphappy comfort to know that some things didn’t change – Paul still liked to screw with my head just as much as ever. It didn’t seem to make a difference to him that we hadn’t seen each other in months. As I walked down the humanities hallway around the end of lunch period, he came from where I was heading and extended an arm to block me from walking further.

“Woah there.” He simply said, turning in an over-exaggerated manner to face me. He had some kind of imitation black leather jacket on that accentuated his ridiculously histrionic poses. “I wouldn’t. There’s a drama alert blaring down that hallway, and it’s on DEFCON 2.” He paused and looked at the side of my head. “You get a new haircut? You look great. Catch you later.” Without another word, he casually resumed his swaying Stayin’ Alive waltz down the hallway as if the conversation never happened. I stared at him for a few seconds in disbelief, then promptly ignored him as I turned the corner, ever closer to my history class.

Closer to seeing when the heck Paul was on about, too. As I turned the corner I saw a decent-sized crowd gathered around May and… Baseball Kid, of all people.

“You can’t do this to me!” May loudly protested as I joined the crowd. “Who do you think you are?!”

“What’s going on?” I quietly asked one of the on-lookers.

He turned to face me. “Jack’s dumping this chick.” He answered. “And she isn’t taking it too well.”

That certainly didn’t do it justice. You could actually see May’s shoulders rising and lowering with her breath. She certainly was a beautiful creature, though. My hormonal teenage mind couldn’t help but drown out her yelling and focus on her chest, and remember the perfect nipples her breasts had.

My mood turned sour as I remembered the situation in which I saw them – the party. Cheating. Out of reflex to do something physical to distract myself from the thoughts of how terrible a person I was clouding my thoughts, I coughed loudly. The same spectator shot a look at me.

“Sorry.” I mumbled as he turned back.

“May, look, it’s over. No need for this drama.” Baseball Kid said, turning to walk away from her.

“No. Please, Jack. I can’t. I need you.” May desperately retaliated, latching on to his arm.

Jack laughed. “We’ve been going out for like a month.” He remarked, and shook her off.

May steamed like a kettle over an active volcano as Jack walked away coolly. “I hate you!” She shouted after him. “You were an awful boyfriend!! The worst!” She turned away from him and faced the crowd. “Go away!” She yelled with a rapidly dwindling anger, one that I could tell would soon turn to sadness and regret.

The crowd didn’t dissolve, as expected, and still wouldn’t until about twenty seconds after. The crowd had gathered around May to watch her meltdown like she was a circus act, and a teacher rounded the corner. Mr. Graves, I quickly realized.

“Class starts in a minute.” He sternly ordered. “You all have somewhere to be.” The crowd quickly left, leaving him, myself, May, and a few students at their lockers.

“Ms. Stevens, you made quite a scene today.” Mr. Graves told her. “I’m going to need you to come with me please.”

May had curled up into a ball on the floor. Her face was buried between her knees and her feet were firmly on the ground. Upon slowly looking up to see Graves, her legs caved in more. “No.” She weakly responded.

“It wasn’t a suggestion.” Mr. Graves informed her, outstretching a hand. “Come on.”

“No, please.” She repeated. “I’m fine. I’ll be okay.”

Graves was persistent. “You don’t seem to be perfectly happy when you’re sitting down in a hallway crying when you should be in class. Not to mention, you caused a public scene. We’ll just need to talk this over with Mr. Scott.”

“I don’t want to.” May argued, yet staying as submissive as possible. “Is there any way I could just stay here? Please?”

“No.” Mr. Graves responded. “Ms. Stevens, I really don’t want to have to physically drag you to Mr. Scott’s office, but I have the authority to do so. Come on, come on.” He persisted, making a ‘come hither’ motion with his fingers and speaking with the kind yet stern tone all old male teachers seem to have mastered.

May shook her head. “Please.” She softly repeated.

For some reason, I felt an overwhelming urge to help. My instincts were telling me it was a good idea not to get involved and that gumming up the works would only land me in trouble, but for some reason, I couldn’t shake the determination to help May out of my mind. I thought quickly, and realized I had an advantage. From where I stood, because Mr. Graves had to turn the corner, he probably didn’t see me yet, since he just advanced towards May. Seeing he had his back to me, while thinking on my feet, I tiptoed away from the arguing duo until I was out of sight, then walked swiftly and loudly up to Mr. Graves.

“Mr. Graves!” I called out to him.

He turned towards me with an irritated expression. “I’m afraid this will have to wait.” He told me simply.

I shook my head. “I was sent here. You’re needed as a supply for room 203, the regular supply couldn’t make it today. Mrs. Luciano said she would take care of May. She thought it might help if a woman convinced her to go to Scott’s office instead.”

Mr. Graves was a man of reason. All math teacher were. To him, I had only turned the corner, and thus came across this scene, now. Thus, there was no way I could have known May was to go to Scott’s office unless the teachers told me so. After all, it’s not like I heard their earlier conversation or something.

“I see.” He replied. “Very well. I’ll stay with her until Mrs. Luciano arrives.”

I shook my head. “She’s along as we speak. I was only sent because they want you to move to the classroom now. Otherwise the students may think class is cancelled and walk out, causing disruptions for other students. I was asked to come supervise her for her until she comes, since she knows I’m a responsible student. They know I’m out of class – I have a note.”

My lying caught up with me. If it weren’t for that last sentence, I would have woven the most beautiful lie of my life, but of course I had no note on me. I struggled to keep a poker face as Graves, without missing a beat, asked, “Could I see the note?”

“Sure.” I said, pretending to rifle through my pockets as my mind ran a 12k marathon. I feigned confusion then frustration as I remarked, “Shoot. I think I left it at the office. Want me to go get it?”

Mr. Graves looked briefly at May then back at me. “I’ll trust you. This situation isn’t that serious, I suppose.” He looked back at her. “Make sure she doesn’t leave your sight. If she does, it’ll be at Mr. Scott’s office. I’ll be there after school to ask about this, so I hope this isn’t an attempt to save her, Adam. This is a highly irregular order for a grade nine student.”

“I understand, sir.” I replied. “Don’t worry. If Mrs. Luciano isn’t around, I’ll make her go to his office myself.”

“I think I’ll be speaking to her later too.” Mr. Graves added. “This request sounds too strange.”

Inside, I was worried, but didn’t budge. “I’m not worried.” I told him. “I’m just following orders.”

Mr. Graves lowered an eyebrow, but nodded. “I guess then I’ll follow mine.” He stated, and walked down the hallway.

When he was gone, slowly and meaningfully, I took a few steps towards May, then sat down in front of her, facing her with a stone-cold serious look on my face. After about ten seconds I couldn’t take it anymore and broke into a grin. “Too easy.” I told her.

May practically melted onto the floor in relief. She exhaled loudly and threw her head down onto her knees. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She breathed.

“Happy to help.” I replied.

“But… Why?” She asked me.

I never stopped to consider that it really was something big I was doing. Not only did I risk getting caught, I was pretty much definitely going to be in trouble for this. And yet in a heartbeat, I did it. I would have loved to say it was because it was what was right and that I was helping a friend, but an interesting revelation caught up with me – we’d love to say we’d help our friends in situations like that, but it was completely different to be in that situation, watching it unfold. If it weren’t for one thing I saw clear as day when she talked to Mr. Graves, I wouldn’t have done what I did.

“You were afraid.” I simply answered, looking up at the ceiling. “I saw the fear on your face. Remember when I was breathing heavily before our drama performance? I get panic attacks. They used to be really bad. I know how terrible it feels getting nervous or anxious or afraid of facing something you’re not ready to face can be.”

I looked back at her to find she had reburied her head between her knees. She didn’t need this right now – I was just talking about myself. I understood school well enough to get this scenario – I was understanding the content and able to restate it, but I wasn’t applying what I knew to make the correct decision.

“Enough about me.” I remarked, and instantly she perked up, raising her head. “What can we do to make you feel better?”

“Why does no one like me, Adam?” May simply asked me, in a very sad voice. Not knowing how to respond, I scooted over next to her and hugged her.

“I’m still a good person.” She said, mostly to herself. “Right?”

“I wouldn’t be able to tell you.” I shrugged. “Up until now, I didn’t even know you were dating Baseball Kid.”

“Who?” May asked, looking at me with a weird expression.

I forgot that people didn’t know the nickname I made for him in my head. “Uh… Jack. I call him that because of the hat.”

“Jack’s an asshole.” May sank her head down again.

“You thought I was an asshole when we were in a similar situation.” I reminded her lightheartedly.

“Not helping.” She mumbled into her knees.

“Right. Sorry.” I scooted up right next to her and formed the same position, knees inward. “He still liked you though.”

May scoffed. “Yeah. Liked. Past tense.” She lifted up her head to reveal an angry expression on her face. “People like me before they know me. That’s how it works. Because I have a pretty face. Because I have these.” She held her hands up to her C cup breasts to prove a point. “When I’m a quiet, submissive girl, everyone loves me. But that’s just, like, a mask I throw on. When I know people well enough to trust them, I take the mask off, and everyone – everyone – leaves me. You’re taught to be yourself, but you’re just screwed if you are, because then you have to reveal to the world that, news flash, I’m flawed. And people can’t take that.” She looked down at her feet. “How can I open up to people and have friends if people just see me as the innocent, quiet girl with big boobs? When I reveal myself as anything more, people just… Lose interest. Fuck, I’d rather be fat again. At least then I knew where I stood. Now I just have to constantly pretend to be someone I’m not just to have people like me. And then, it’s not really me they like. They just like what they want from me. Who they want to see, not a human being.” She sunk lower onto the floor. “I want to leave.”

“I don’t imagine Mr. Scott’s room is where you want to leave to, is it?” I asked dryly. She looked over at me lazily and shook her head no. “Yeah, I figured.” I muttered to myself.

May sighed. “Sorry I’m such a mess.” She mumbled. “It’s not your fault.”

“I don’t mind being a friend.” I said to her, smiling. She briefly returned my smile.

“It’s Carson’s fault.” She muttered. I looked at her in slight shock, and was about to ask why when she spoke again. “Who am I kidding? It’s my fault. Carson didn’t make me give my body up to him.”

“Wouldn’t have shocked me if he did, just saying.” I dryly interjected.

May chuckled sadly. “Yeah, he was a horny bastard.” she let silence fill the halls before she spoke again. “I just… I really wanted someone to fall for me, not my looks. Someone who wants to learn about me, who likes me for what I do and who I am, not what I could do or who I could be. I don’t even know why I trusted Carson so much to be that person when he was always just looking for sex. I guess it’s like there were two Carsons – the real one, and the one I made up in my head, the one made of hope, just so I could justify what I did with him.” She smiled to herself. “Damn, that was good. I should write that down.”

“Well done.” I told her with a slight chuckle.

“But what’s the point?” She continued. “It’s high school. Guys just want one thing. It’s stupid.”

“Hey.” I said and she turned her head to me. “Real talk?” I asked, and she nodded. “I used to have the world’s biggest crush on you.”

“Yeah, I know.” She replied softly, taking her eyes away from mine and staring intently at the walls across the hall. “You weren’t exactly good at hiding it.” She chuckled. “You used to have a heart attack from me talking to you, and you were always staring at me.”

“Shit, was I?” I meant to only think that, but the words spilled out of my mouth. May giggled and rubbed my knee supportively.

“I didn’t mind.” She said sweetly. “It was nice to have someone crushing on me. I just didn’t want to string you along because shy guys aren’t really my thing.”

“Uh-huh, sure.” I replied, smirking at her. “We almost kissed during a drama rehearsal at your place, remember?”

“Yeah, but we didn’t.” May fired back with a slight smile. “So your argument is kind of pointless. Not to mention, you were kind of scrawny. I mean, no offense or anything, but I did choose Carson for a reason.”

Wow. That was bold, I thought to myself. My old self would have been torn apart if he knew his looks were what prevented him from getting his dream girl. “I was your first choice for the dance, not Carson.” I reminded her, keeping up my humorous tone.

“No need to get defensive.” She replied. “And truth be told, you were actually like my last resort. I asked out a lot, and I mean a lot, of guys before you. Most of them wanted to go solo, so I figured I was hunting in the wrong crowd.”

Okay, now she was pushing her luck. “So Carson asking you out was a divine gift?” I asked, putting a bit more energy than I normally had to into my light tone.

She chuckled. “Sure, why not.” She replied. Her hand moved from my knee to my chest. “I have to say though, you totally shaped up this year.” She added slowly and meaningfully. “You went from a shy geek to a pretty good-looking guy, you know that?”

She began tracing my muscles, and I could only raise one eyebrow in response. I bet May was used to getting what she wanted growing up – telling me I was basically useless to her until I got muscles wasn’t bold, it was rude. I don’t think she could even hear her own words, or just figured I would go with it.

“Maybe I’m looking for too much with guys.” She continued, still dragging her words a little due to either genuine nervousness, or a flirty fake nervousness. “I should stop expecting a guy to treat me like a princess, and instead treat my body like a temple. You get me?” She giggled.

“I’m not sure I do, May.” I replied flatly.

She giggled naughtily. “I like when you play hard to get.” She purred. “Maybe I don’t need a boyfriend. Maybe I need to let emotions go and just go for something more on-the-fly. You know, like a fuck buddy.”

“I can’t answer that for you, May.” I told her, finding it easier than ever to control my libido around her. “That’s something you need to figure out for yourself.”

“God, I was hoping you’d say something like that.” May grinned. “Because I think I want one. And I think I want it to be you.” She leaned over and kissed my neck slowly and sensuously. “After all, I already know you’re good in bed. What do you say?” She asked.

Oh, May. She thought she had me hook, line, and sinker. If it weren’t for that last line, I might have even entertained the thought. It sure sucked to be her. “Hold the fuck on.” I said forcefully, pulling her off me. “Did you seriously just use the time you coerced me against my will to have sex with you, then blackmailed me to not tell anyone about it, as an example of a good time?”

May was completely caught off guard, and it was a delicious sight to see. “Well… uh…” She stuttered, the cogs turning faster than usual in your mind. “I mean, in the moment, we enjoyed it, so…”

“You know, I find it cute that you basically just told me my whole presence to you was just to stroke your ego until I started working out.” I said, my tone reflecting the fact that I knew I had the higher ground. “I had a huge crush on you, and you knew. Yet I was a last resort to you. A last fucking resort. That’s cute.”

“I…” She started, eyes darting from side to side. “Maybe I shouldn’t have used those exact words. I’m sor-”

“No, you totally should have.” I interrupted her. “Because you meant it. Every word. I’m glad to know where I stood with you. It’s beautifully ironic that you were complaining that people only like your face and boobs, because you didn’t care about me until you saw my muscles and dick. It really fits.” I stood up. “You know what’s funny? I did it for you. The muscles, the working out, I did it to impress you. And now seeing that it did impress you, only now do I realize how meaningless it fucking was.”

May’s lower lip was moving without her realizing. “You meant more to me than that.” She quietly protested. “You were a friend.”

“Yup. A blackmailed, forced, contacted-only-when-you-needed him friend. A friend you tried to punch in the face when you didn’t get your way. A friend you tried to seduce when you felt unsatisfied because fuck his feelings. And then when you feel lonely and he’s the only guy willing to listen to your feelings, you seduce him again because you’re lonely and want to feel validated by a guy who isn’t scrawny. Well, this guy is saying no. How does that feel?”

She put her head down between her knees. “Why are you yelling at me?” She asked quietly.

Part of me felt bad for her, but this was beyond the point of no return. “Because I just guaranteed getting myself in trouble for you, all for you to tell me my body is the only part of me you see. Don’t like guys staring at your tits? Well, welcome to hypocrisy. It’s a bitch, ain’t it?”

May started hugging her legs tighter, curling up into a bigger ball. “This always happens.” She complained with a quivering voice. “I open up to a guy, and he does this. This is my problem. All of the guys in my life are dicks.”

I leaned before her and reached forward. I found her chin and pulled her face up so I could look her right in the face. “No, May.” I told her. “Your problem is you’re the least self-aware person I met. When you find you have flaws, you blame someone else. When others tell you about them, you blame them for ‘being dicks.’ You were being rude to me. Own it. You were a bitch to me, playing with my affection for you. Own it. You blackmailed me. Fucking own it.”

“Can you stop fucking bringing that up?!” She shouted, swatting my hand away. “I get it. It was a bad decision. I regret it, okay? I don’t like being reminded of it. I can’t move on if you keep dragging me down by reminding me.”

“I’ll stop reminding you when you stop using it as an example of a good time.” I replied, standing back up and offering her a hand.

She took it gingerly and got up. “Fine.” She huffed. “I have flaws. I get it. But so do you!”

I laughed. “Yeah, I know. That’s the difference between you and me. I own up to my flaws. I accept them and move on. When you’re confronted with your flaws, you find a way to blame someone el-”

“I get it.” She interrupted. “Just… Fucking stop.” She paused, and we stood in the hallway for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, she sighed. “I’m sorry.” She weakly conceded.

“That’s a good start.” I replied with a smile, and went in for an embrace. She hugged me back, pulling me in close.

“I…” She began shyly. “I meant the whole offer for a fuck buddy. I’m sorry I said all of that stuff, but even though I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship, you are really attractive to me.”

I broke off the hug. “I think I’ll pass for now.” I replied. She huffed and looked at the floor dejectedly. “Just being honest.” I added. “In the future… Who knows? For now, though, let’s focus on you learning to function by yourself first. Sex doesn’t have to be the solution to everything. Hell, I think we’ve both seen that it creates more problems than solutions.”

May sniffled. “You were being really condescending back there.” She pointed out.

I sighed. “I was, wasn’t I?” I conceded.

“And cheesy.” She added. “No, May.” She added, deepening her voice to imitate mine.

“Alright, alright.” I threw my hands up in defeat. “Point made. I’m sorry too.” We both stood there for a long time, just looking at each other.

“This means I’ll have to see Mr. Scott, doesn’t it?” May asked sadly, after a while.

I nodded. “He’ll come after both of us if you don’t get down there, and I’m in enough trouble as it is.” I pointed out.

“Fine.” May conceded, beginning to make her journey. I followed her.

***

I approached Ms. Luciano after I made sure May made her trip to Mr. Scott. When I neared the room, I noticed it was empty and she was on her spare. When I knocked on the door she nearly jumped.

“Oh, Adam. Hola.” She greeted me, her earlier scare still evident on her face. “What can I do for you?”

“Hey, Ms. Luciano.” I greeted her back. “Odd request. Mr. Graves is looking for me, so if he comes by, could you just tell him that I delivered May to Mr. Scott’s office?”

“Como?” She asked me, confused. “Why would he ask me about where you are?”

“It’s a long story.” I informed her. “To be honest, I’m kind of confused by this whole thing too. I think Mr. Graves is under the impression I’m doing something I’m not, or I’m doing something he asked you to do, or you asked him to do what I’m doing…” I felt downright malicious playing not only one but two teachers, but if I knew two things about Ms. Luciano, it’s that she was easily confused and easily overwhelmed. And being in trouble wasn’t fun – I wanted to avoid that to the best of my ability.

“Okay…” She said slowly. “If he comes by, I’ll tell him you dropped May off with Mr. Scott. I suppose.”

“Gracias, Ms. Luciano.” I beamed. “You’re an awesome teacher.”

She smiled at the compliment. “De nada.” She replied, her smile quickly turning back into a look of confusion as I left.

***

“Woah there, Muhammad Ali.” Nicole exclaimed as I started a set. “We’re the only two people in here. Who are you trying to impress?”

I didn’t answer until I finished my set, then put the barbell down. “What are you talking about?” I asked her, wiping my face with a towel as I sat up on the bench.

“Besides your tendency to end your sentences with prepositions?” She asked me with a wink. “You were pumping that thing like you were trying to save your life. I mean, how much does this thing weigh?” She walked around to the side. “You could hurt yourself.”

“You were spotting me.” I retorted. “I’m not a kid.”

“And you’re being defensive too.” She replied. “Did you have a difficult day? Did May take off with another guy again?”

I tried to keep a poker face. “I don’t have a crush on May anymore.” I told her flatly.

She looked me straight in the eyes and grinned. “Too little emotion.” She told me. “You’re hiding something.”

“It’s more like I don’t see how any of it is your business.” I replied, lying back on the bench and breathing heavy, preparing myself for my next set.

“You are my business.” She replied, as smoothly as ever. Before I had a chance to grab the barbell, she reached forward and started playing with my hair.

“C’mon, Nicole.” I told her, interrupting my breathing to shoo away her hand. “Quit it.”

“What? Sorry for caring.” Nicole replied with her signature seductive voice. “Besides, it’s not like there’s anyone else in here.”

Right on flipping cue, a knock on the door shook us both from our conversation. We both looked at the door, then at each other.

“That was a whole new level of stupid irony.” Nicole commented dryly as she started for the door.

“Your life is a sitcom, isn’t it?” I asked her.

“It has its moments.” She grinned at me before opening the door. She had to pull the door back, so I got to be the first to see the door open to reveal Phil.

“Yo, Nicole!” He greeted her. “I thought I’d find you in here.”

“Hiya, Philly.” She greeted him warmly, and gave him a hug. Despite my own jealousy, I had to smile – it looked like the two had worked out their differences.

“And Adam! What are you doing here, little man?” He asked me.

I gestured around me. “Playing cards.” I replied dryly.

Phil turned to Nicole. “You should stop hanging out so much with him. He’s starting to sound like you.” Without waiting from a response from her, he walked over to me and gave me an enthusiastic fist-bump. “You lifting now?”

“It doesn’t show, huh?” I replied in a mock dejected tone.

He laughed. “Quit putting words in my mouth.” He leaned down and looked at the amount on the barbell. “Sheeeit.” He murmured, then turned to me. “Not bad for a freshman. You thinking of trying out for the wrestling team next year?”

I shrugged. “It’s just a hobby.” I remarked. “Keeps my mind off of things.”

“Oh yeah?” Phil asked. “Like what?”

With that, Nicole cleared her throat loudly. “Did you come here to badger him, or did you come to ask me something?”

Phil chuckled. “Always want the spotlight on you, dontcha?” He asked her teasingly.

“It usually is anyway.” Nicole replied, fluttering her eyes seductively at him. “So what do you need?”

Phil turned back to me for a second. “I actually wasn’t going to ask you this with Little Mac in the room, but anyway…”

“You just said I wasn’t bad for a freshman!” I protested, standing up, giving up any illusions that I’d get to do my third set.

Phil turned to Nicole. “He doesn’t play video games, does he?” He asked her.

“I’m working on it.” Nicole replied. “Anyway…”

“Right. Anyway, it’s time for the Love family year end party again, and I was just wondering if you’d be down.” Phil continued. Nicole gave him a look, and he beamed. “Don’t worry. Jeff’s gonna be out of town. You won’t see him there.”

Nicole’s look of disapproval turned to a smile of her own. “I’m down.” She grinned. “Am I allowed to bring Mike Tyson with me?”

“How many frigging metaphors are you two going to come up with?!” I interjected.

“Uhh…” Phil started slowly, moving his eyes up and down over me. “I mean, I guess. He probably won’t know anyone, though. The only freshmen that got invited this year just got in through families.” Nicole gave him another look, and he smiled and threw up his arms. “Sorry, freshmen are lame.” He shot a look towards me. “No offense, buddy.”

“None taken,” I replied casually, used to the classism of high school by now. At this point I joined them, wrapping my towel around my neck.

“So who are they exactly?” Nicole asked him.

“Let’s see… We got Natalie’s little sister, Swanson wants to bring his little brother along, Matt’s bringing Megan with him, and I think Paul’s cousin wants to come too.”

“That’s a bit of a stretch, isn’t it?” Nicole asked him as if they were debating politics. “If we get into cousins we may as well invite anybody.”

Phil nodded. “Yeah, I thought so, but I mean, it’s only gonna be-”

“Ew, fuck.” Nicole interrupted. “Paul? Can we blacklist him?”

“Why?” Phil asked, folding his arms.

“Because he’s a fucking creep, that’s why.” Nicole answered him. “Calling it now, he’s just gonna sit in a chair all night and look at everyone. That’s what he does.”

“So? Why does that affect you?” Phil asked her. “He deserves an invitation as much as you do. People are people, Nicole. It’s not fair to play favorites when you’re representing all of the students.”

“Oh, grow up.” Nicole responded, folding her arms. “We’re in high school. Of course we’re gonna play favorites. And since we are, if my opinion matters, I don’t wanna see him there.”

“It’s funny how you’re telling me how to run my own party.” Phil replied, a small smile creeping onto his face.

“You guys are cute.” I sarcastically grumbled. “If you need anything, I’m gonna hit the showers before we go. Okay?”

Nicole turned back to me and nodded. “No problem.” She confirmed.

Phil turned to me too. “So, you want in?”

I had already started walking at this point. “Uh…” I started, not being good with being put on the spot. “…Sure.” My mind was not on the invitation, truth be told. My mind was fixated on the fact that Megan and May were going to be at the same party, and one way or another, that was definitely going to turn into a disaster.

“Cool. See you there.” Phil grinned at me, before turning back to Nicole and resuming their argument. As I headed to the showers, I suppressed a smile. Nicole was totally going to win. She always did when it came to arguments.

***

“As Student Council, you’re supposed to treat all students with respect.” Nicole mocked Phil as she bitterly drove us to the party. “What a bunch of bull. As if everyone deserved to be treated equally. News flash, Phil, some dudes are just assholes. Here’s a thought, maybe we should treat them like assholes. That might get the point across.”

“You are bitter, aren’t you?” I asked her.

“Oh, does it show?” She asked me sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “Fuckin’ Phil. Mr. Goody Two-Shoes. He thinks he’s such top shit for… For…”

“Treating people with actual respect?” I finished her sentence, smiling at her.

She gave me an evil smile back. “I could turn this car around if I wanted to.” she reminded me. “If you ever wanna have sex with me again, quit sounding like him.”

I looked outside the window, chuckling to myself. “What, he’s a turnoff for you now?” I didn’t get a reply, so I looked back at her. Her smile was gone, her back was stiff and she was intently staring at the road.

“Oh, sorry.” I mumbled. “I didn’t think that was still a bad subject. You two seemed to get along well.”

“No, it’s not that.” Nicole replied, her tone reflecting her drop in mood.

“What is it?” I asked her curiously.

“How are your parents doing? Still angry?” She asked.

I sighed. “This again? Nicole, please don’t hold this against me. Or think that it’s bigger than it is or something.”

“Well, it meant a lot to you at the time.” Nicole replied flatly. At least she didn’t sound sad anymore.

“They seem cool with me for now.” I replied. “They didn’t have any more questions when they found out you were driving me, or that I was going to a party. I mean, they had the usual advisory stuff parents say… ‘don’t drink too much,’ ‘make smart choices…’”

I turned back to her to see her still intent on the road. My cheeks flushed slightly and I suddenly felt like I was talking too much. “Sorry.”

“For what?” She asked, turning to face me.

“I dunno. Mentioning it.” I replied. “I feel like it’s a load for you. I don’t want to make you guilty. I want to make you happy.”

Her plain face broke out into a slight smile. “Don’t get yourself too worked up there, squirt.” She told me. “It’s a party. No need for heavy stuff tonight. Just enjoy yourself.”

“Are you gonna be okay?” I asked her.

“No, Romeo, I poisoned myself.” She replied, losing the smile and rolling her eyes again. “God, everything’s so dramatic with you.”

Loosening up, I replied, “I prefer to think of it as adventurous.” Nicole smiled, but didn’t respond, so, like an idiot, I continued. “You’re really sad lately.” At this point I was thinking out loud. “I feel like I’m at fault. That’s all.”

She nodded. “So you’re feeling bad about what you say, because anything could set me off?” I nodded without saying anything. “God, you’re a tool.” She continued, rolling her eyes. “I’m just feeling a little stressed lately, that’s all. Big decisions, your normal stuff. It’s not like you have to handle me with kid gloves. I’d appreciate it a lot more if you treated me like a girl rather than a China doll. If you touch me, I won’t break.”

I poked her shoulder to make a point. “See?” She asked me. “I’m not breaking down in tears, am I? I’m allowed to be sad, but I don’t want that to change how you talk to me. I just want you to be patient. Can you do that for me, squirt?”

I nodded. “I can try.” I answered.

She smiled. “Thanks. Now loosen up – tonight isn’t about all that shit. Tonight’s the night you’ll learn what a real fuckin’ party is like.”

We arrived a few minutes later to find the place already booming. Cars lined up Phil’s street and even from a few houses away, we could hear the music.

I glanced at the car clock. “We’re early.” I commented. “It looks like the party started hours ago.”

Nicole chuckled. “Welcome to high school, freshman.” She replied. “At parties, ‘early’ means ‘on time.’ ‘Late’ means ‘I think this party is lame but have no other plans.’ ‘On time’ means ‘I still don’t know how parties work.’”

“Sounds… Stupid.” I honestly replied.

Nicole shrugged. “You get no argument from me.” She opened the door and got out, waiting for me to follow suit before locking the car, which I think was vibrating from the music being blasted from one of the nearby houses – presumably Phil’s house.

“Is there going to be a noise complaint?” I asked.

“I doubt it.” Nicole replied, looking around at the houses. “He’s had the volume up higher before and never gotten a complaint.”

“Are all of his neighbors deaf?” I asked. “I almost have to shout over you and we’re not even there yet.”

“Calm down, you big baby.” Nicole responded, smiling at me. “It’s gonna be a great time. Phil is legendary at parties. He knows what he’s doing.” Her smile turned into a grin. “Plus, I’m here too, and I think I know how to make you have a good time.”

“And how are you going to manage that?” I asked her slyly.

“I’m sure I’ll think of something.” She replied just as slyly, reaching down behind me and grabbing my butt. I yelped in surprise and Nicole lost it.

“Not funny.” I mumbled sourly.

“Hilarious.” She retorted, still laughing slightly. By then, we had made it to Phil’s house, and Nicole invited herself in. Meekly, I followed.

The place was simultaneously open and large, and a packed mess. We were only in the foyer and yet the place was packed. “Oh, God.” I muttered aloud, as I started to wonder why I came.

Nicole somehow heard me over the crowd and pounding music and rubbed my back sympathetically, smiling at me. Just as she stopped, Phil happened to come through the doors and spotted us.

“Nicole! A-dawg! Stoked you guys could make it.” He happily greeted us, giving Nicole a hug and fist-bumping me. He stank to high heaven of weed. “Make yourselves at home. What’s mine is yours.” He grinned at us then promptly left, leaving Nicole and myself standing there.

“Shall we?” Nicole asked me.

“I think I have a headache already.” I complained in response.

Nicole sighed and shook her head pityingly. “I hope you’re not gonna be a burden like this all night long.” She replied. “Come on.” She took my hand and guided me through the foyer door into the main hallway.

I had to say, Phil’s family was pretty damn well off. His house looked really lavish from the inside. Everything was clean, well lit, polished, and it reeked of luxury. I liked it, but at the same time, knowing how much better his house was than mine for some reason made me uncomfortable. I didn’t have too long before Nicole led me into another room, and shut the door behind us.

Slam. With that, the music was almost completely gone. I almost couldn’t believe it. I thought my ears stopped working. It was louder outside the house than in this room. I looked around and saw a poorly-lit white room with a drum kit and some kind of booth with a computer inside.

“You have a tendency to be a bit sensitive about these things.” Nicole started as she walked lazily towards the drum set. “So I figured this should be the first room I show you. This is Phil’s drum room.”

“Where’s… where’s the…” I began to ask, still confused.

Nicole laughed. “It’s almost fully soundproof. This was Phil’s birthday gift from his folks when he turned seventeen.” She explained, sitting down at the drums. “If you ever get overwhelmed by the sound and the people, that’s what this room is for. Not a lot of people will come here, given Phil’s rules about this room are no shouting, no drinking and no sex.”

“Sex? In here?” I asked, looking around.

Nicole chuckled. “Are you sure you’ve been to a party before, squirt?” She asked me. “Parties are like designated fucking and drinking nights for high schoolers. And the older you get, the more you seem to want. And the weirder stuff you wanna do, including weirder and weirder places. If Phil didn’t seal off this room from fucking, we would’ve interrupted a few unfortunate fuckers when we came in.” She took his drumsticks and began doing a small solo in perfect 4/4 timing.

I waited until she was done, then shrugged. “You popular people are weird.” I commented lamely.

She put the drumsticks back and stood up. “You’re not exactly unknown, you know. Like it or not, you’re student council, went to a party and word is, you’re known for fucking around.”

I turned bright red. Did Nicole know? Did she know about May? If she knew about May, she would have killed me. No wonder she brought me into a soundproof room. No noise came in, but no noise came out. She could say, or do, anything she wanted in here. She was going to kill me. I could feel it.

I had no clue what story my expression told, but seconds later Nicole’s eyes bugged out. “Jesus Christ, squirt, calm down.” She ordered. “Jeez. It’s not like you blowing Megan and then kissing May is news at this point.”

I breathed a sigh of relief, hopefully with the ‘relief’ point unbeknownst to Nicole. She didn’t know. Good. She would have killed me if she knew I cheated on Megan, even if I told her the whole story. “Anyway, my point is, for a grade nine, you’re pretty popular. Sex news spreads fast at our school.” She looked at her nails smugly. “Before I showed up, our school was pretty vanilla, you know.”

I laughed nervously, still riding down the panic I had suffered earlier. “Oh yeah?” I managed to ask calmly.

She nodded enthusiastically. “I mean, I took me a good long while until I came outta my shell, but when I did, man, did I realize what a dry and shy school I was going to. Like, I almost think I invented having sex in a classroom. That’s how fucking tame Hazelwood is. Can you believe it?”

“Yeah, in a well-developed neighborhood with good kids. Imagine that.” I winked.

“Fuck off.” Nicole playfully stuck her tongue out at me. “Anyway, with me being the only unashamed slut, everyone waits their turn.”

“Waits their turn for what?” I asked.

She motioned around her. “This. Parties. Especially the girls. Boys get to be slutty all the time and we just roll our eyes and slap our knees. ‘Oh, those gosh darn hormonal boys…’” She imitated, putting on a surprisingly good Deep South accent.

“Your Southern accent is hot.” I unashamedly remarked.

She ignored me. “Usually we just call them bros or fuckboys or whatever, but they still get to be as slutty and polyamorous as they want. But girls, we need to watch our image, as long as you fear the word ‘slut.’ We get like a few days a year when judging eyes aren’t fixated on us, looking for gossip. And that would be…” She trailed off, indicating that I should finish.

“…Parties?” I asked exasperatedly.

“Bingo.” She pointed at me. “Girls get these rare opportunities to have a room full of boys, or girls if that’s your thing, and make out with dozens of them in an hour without worrying about rumors getting started within minutes. No wonder we explode on the scene first basin’ it with all the dudes we can find.”

“Sounds… Gross.” I honestly answered. “I couldn’t do that. I needed to know both May and Megan before I even wanted to kiss them.”

“You didn’t need to know me.” Nicole winked. “Am I just that hot?” She struck a seductive pose.

“Well, that’s kind of different because we talked before and you offered me a r-”

“The correct answer was ‘yes,’ dumbass.” Nicole snapped playfully. We didn’t say anything for a few seconds, and she softly approached me and kissed me on the lips. “You cool with knowing you’re not the only guy to me tonight?” She asked tenderly.

“Yeah. I’ve been warming up to the idea.” I answered a little quietly.

“Thanks. It means the world.” Nicole smiled at me, kissing me cheek. “Some guys aren’t that generous. They basically want to own me.”

“I mean, I don’t like it.” I added honestly.

She nodded. “I’m sure if I were like everyone else, I’d probably get jealous of Megan too.”

“And-” I stopped myself. Holy shit. I almost said May. I needed to practice thinking before speaking.

“And who? Is there someone else?” Nicole asked, seriousness painting her face.

“And anyone I manage to score with tonight.” I finished instantly as I breathed an internal sigh of relief. Thank you, drama class.

Nicole did some kind of combination of a scoff and a chuckle. “Yeah, good luck.” She replied, one eyebrow lowered. “Unless you get divine intervention, and of course by divine I mean by yours truly, something tells me you won’t get to go all the way with anyone tonight.”

“Hey,” I lazily commented, pretending to stretch to showcase my confidence. “You just said I was popular. I bet I could do it.”

“Yeah? Then go ahead.” Nicole responded, motioning to the door. “Go out there and get yourself a nice piece of ass without having a panic attack about it.”

“Hey!” I retorted, on the road to being genuinely offended. “I’ve been getting a lot better with those.”

Nicole giggled. “I know,” She replied softly, caressing my hair. “And I’m proud of you.” She gave me a gentle kiss on the forehead before resuming her normal strong voice. “Now what the fuck are we still doing in here? I only wanted to show you this place in case you get overwhelmed. Let’s fucking mingle.”

I smiled at her. “Okay.” Was all I could think to say. Bracing myself for the beat pounding in my ears once again, I opened the door and stepped back into the abysmal hell that was the epitome of the high school experience – the party.

Even in the hallway, the place was littered with couples talking. Most were talking with their faces really close to one another, and one guy had his girl straight-up pinned against the wall, furiously making out with her.

“Yeesh.” I remarked aloud. Again, somehow Nicole heard me, rubbed my shoulder and smiled, although this smile was more like she just told a hilarious joke and wanted to share the laugh with me.

Before long, she practically skipped off towards the living room. Not knowing where else to go, I followed her. The living room, as I freaking expected, was also packed. Whoever wasn’t drinking was dancing. Whoever wasn’t dancing was flirting. Whoever wasn’t flirting had already succeeded and was probably somewhere else in the house.

Nicole, suddenly feeling my presence, whirled her head around to find me. Upon seeing me, she broke out into a pitied smile. “You’re like a lost puppy.” I heard her shout over the music. She brought her arms out and pretended to shoo me away.

I sighed and took the hint. I suppose it might not be a bad idea to learn how to operate independently at these parties, especially if what Nicole told me was true and I was actually popular.

I looked around myself and saw loads of people doing things I wasn’t interested in. The idea of drinking made me nauseous. Dancing seemed to be teen code for jumping up and down and grinding on each other. Pass. And flirting… I wanted to at least know someone’s name before I jumped into bed with them. Not knowing what else to do, I went with my usual strategy and tried to find the kitchen.

This meant wandering through the halls, which meant going on a tour of the Museum of Promiscuity. Every few steps I took, I came across a couple being increasingly bold with one another. The first couple made me smile – It was a guy caressing a girl’s hair as he complimented her eyes. It was kind of sweet.

The second couple was a girl pinning a guy up against the wall, giving him kisses all over his face. She was clearly the one in control, but he didn’t seem to mind. I would have thought about it further, but the couple next to them definitely stole attention. Call me sheltered, but I wasn’t expecting to see a pair of guys openly kissing in any high school event, let alone a party. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized I was in no position to judge. So they were both dudes. It’s not like they had any less of a right to be public about their affection than any other couple I was watching. Still, I couldn’t shake the notion that the idea… Made me uncomfortable. I don’t know if that made me a bad person, but I knew I was fully straight, and the idea of watching two guys kissing made me less comfortable than watching a guy and a girl. I guess because I could relate more to the straight people. I wasn’t sure.

The last couple was really trying to put on a show. The guy was definitely the one in control here – he was your typical short-haired ‘is he on steroids or did he spend years on those arms’ jock, and one of said strong arms was under the shirt of some redhead, grabbing away at her boobs as they were making out… Oh, wait. That wasn’t some redhead, that was Natalie, the girl from Student Council. Well, good for her, I guess.

Eventually, I found an open arch that led to the kitchen. The music was only slightly quieter in here, but at least there was breathing room and no hint of PDA. I sighed as I leaned up against a wall and looked around the room.

A beautiful tile floor and polished granite countertops greeted me, topped with a toppled tower of beer cans and various opened alcohol bottles. Teens will be teens, I thought to myself. Am I going to turn into this?

My thinking was stopped short by noticing I wasn’t the only one in here. I didn’t recognize the guy guarding the fridge, but next to him stood Matt, and he was staring right back at me, with the same surprise I’m sure I had in my eyes. After the shock wore off, he slowly started walking towards me. “Adam.” He said, barely audible over the music but not willing to shout it.

I was worse at dealing with shock than he was, so I stood frozen for a bit until he was too close for comfort. “Hey, Matt.” I replied, with a calmness that surprised even me.

“It seems everywhere my sister goes, you’re not far behind.” He noted. I braced for him to hit me, but he waved me off. “I’m not going to start anything here.” He told me. “That would be disrespectful to Phil. But I’m not happy with you. You got that?”

“I think I got that a few months ago.” I replied, fear creeping into my voice.

He sighed loudly. “I don’t want to talk about that.” He simply said.

“So you feel bad about it?” I asked, hopeful that we could begin to leave that event behind us.

“I don’t regret it at all.” He let me know, staring into my eyes. “You don’t get it, Adam. Are you an only child?”

I nodded.

“So you don’t get it. I have a little sister that means the world to me, and you’re corrupting her. You’re bad news, Adam. I don’t hate you, but you’re bad news. I just want her to be the best she can, and you’re dragging her down. Okay, bud?” He clapped his hand down on my shoulder. It felt warm, and almost kind, in a threatening way.

“What are you saying?” I asked him.

“I’m saying, I won’t kick the crap out of you again. It was wrong.” He told me. “I get it, it was wrong. But I want you staying away from her. I bet you can see you’re not good for her too, right?”

His hand gripped my shoulder tighter. I think he was trying to intimidate me into saying yes, but ha! Joke’s on him, I thought to myself. I already felt like shit for how I treated Megan. Boy, did Matt ever have egg on his face.

“Yeah.” I conceded, but that was all I was going to say.

“So you’re going to stay away from her?” He asked me forcefully.

“I mean, I’m in a class with her.” I pointed out.

He sighed exasperatedly. “You know what I mean. Don’t be around her any longer than you have to. She’s only in grade nine. Do you know when her birthday is?”

I didn’t like where this was going. I could only shake my head no.

“December tenth. And guess what you were doing week before?”

My stomach twisted. A year younger. She was a year younger than me when she blew me. That was sick. That was genuinely sick. Added to everything else, screw Matt – I was ready to punch myself unconscious. It felt like I got a fucking toddler to blow me. It seemed almost surreal. Fuck.

“She spent her birthday angry, and sad. My sister. Do you have any idea how that must have felt? For me? For her?” Matt continued.

I still couldn’t get over how young she was. I felt like a pedophile, and I wasn’t exactly an old man yet.

Matt could read that I was seriously getting affected. He snapped his fingers in front of my face to get my attention back. “Look, I don’t mean to rile you up. I just hope you can see how twisted that is.”

“Yeah, it’s twisted.” I managed. Jesus. Holy shit. I’m so sorry, Megan.

“Anyway, right now I’m trying to bring her back to how she used to be, plus I have to keep my parents unaware of it. Keep up the idea that she’s a nice Christian girl, otherwise dad would have a fit. You ever had to keep something secret from your parents?” Uneasily, I nodded, as he continued. “So you get me? It’s just a little hard with you in the picture. So can you promise me that buddy? No more sex, no more hanging around her. How about it?” He held out his hand.

He had me convinced, that’s for damn sure. I took his hand and shook it.

He smiled confidently at me. “Thanks. I ‘m glad we could settle this respectfully.” He told me. “And I’m sorry for… y’know, what I did. I just get a little overprotective. But if you’re good in the future, we’ll have no more problems. You made a good decision.”

I nodded and smiled weakly, needing to leave. I waited until he left for whatever reason, then sat down in the chair until my dizziness and nausea left. This was the last thing I needed at this god damn party. More fucking guilt. For someone who was in this house somewhere, no less.

Suddenly, the music didn’t bother me. I needed a distraction. I needed to be numbed. Walking up to the counter, not even feeling my legs do so, I found myself staring at a number of unopened beer cans. Not even thinking about what I was doing, I opened the can and brought it to my lips.

The taste brought to mind the smell of motor oil. It didn’t taste very good, but the aftertaste made me crave more. I sipped slowly at first, then got braver and braver, eventually chugging it down once I got to halfway through. I didn’t care. I wasn’t thinking. It was just in the moment.

Once I realized I was staring at not one, but two empty cans of beer in my hands, I remembered I wasn’t alone in the kitchen. Shit. Did I just steal?

I reared my head around to the fridge. The guy guarding the fridge, a smartly-dressed black guy with a classy haircut, read my panic and waved me off. “First two are free.” He informed me. Thank God.

Was I going to get drunk? I wondered. I never really drank before. Was two beers enough to get you drunk? I really didn’t know, but I think I felt ‘buzzed,’ or whatever it was called. I was beginning to mellow out, yet get giddy and fidgety at the same time. I wanted to do something. Before I knew what was going on, I started walking back towards the living room. Most of the couples had cleared out of the hallway, save for Natalie and her boytoy, who were basically doing the exact same thing except with her hand rubbing between his legs. Mazel Tov.

I headed back for the living room and I swear my vision was slightly delayed. I was drunk. This was what drunk must have been like. I was sure of it. I scanned around the room for faces I recognized, and found I was slightly dizzy. I would have thought I’d be more out-of-control since I was drunk and all. I guess movies exaggerated it when characters were drunk. I stumbled around for a seat and finally found one at the back of the room.

“You okay there?” I heard a familiar voice shout over the music. I turned my head over to see the smug grin of Paul meet me. He was sitting down, holding a Coke in his hands. “Hola.” He greeted me.

My expression hadn’t changed. I don’t think I could feel my face. “I think I’m drunk.” I told him.

“Yeah?” He shout-asked me. “How much did you spend today? Or did you BYOB?”

I shook my head no. “I just got the two free beers… You know how the first two are free? I got those.”

His expression changed from serious to laughing out loud in seconds. After he recovered he looked me in the face. “Oh, you’re serious.” He muttered. “You’re cute, you know that?”

“I’m not- I’m not gay.” I confidently stuttered.

“Never said you were. Or that I was.” Paul retaliated. “You’re fine, compadre. Just buzzed. And I’m guessing this is the first time you’re drinking.”

I nodded.

“Thought so.” He replied. “It takes more than two beers to get you drunk. What you’re experiencing is a phenomenon known as the Placebo Effect. It-”

“I know what that is.” I shouted over him.

“Alright, cool.” He replied. “So how’s alcohol treating you?”

“It’s weird.” I murmured, looking straight forward. “I feel… funny. I feel like… You know?”

“You get really deive when you get tipsy.” Paul quipped. I was starting to see where Nicole was coming from. He was kind of annoying. And condescending. And he really was just spending the night sitting down, watching people.

“Why are you even here?” I asked him. He laughed and raised his glass.

“I get to see high school in action.” He answered me. “I find it fascinating. We can barely talk over this music and yet you see so much communication going on. I don’t really dance or drink, but it’s actually really interesting to see your friends and classmates in this situation, then see them in class again. It shows you who changes and who doesn’t when they’re in public. And the ones that do are the most interesting.”

I stared at him while he explained. “You’re… You’re a bit of a condescending prick.” I told him, noting the slight slur of my voice. God, I’m such a lightweight, I thought.

He chuckled. “That’s your opinion.” He told me. “I’m not going to apologize because I find watching people more interesting than jumping up and down on the dance floor or pouncing on top of someone and engaging in sex with them.”

“Are you a virgin?” I point-blank asked him.

He shook his head. “Nah.” He told me casually. “I’ve been around. I thought I told you before, but I could be wrong.” He took a sip of his Coke. “I just don’t think sex is important. You do because you probably haven’t had it before. Trust me, it means nothing.”

He really couldn’t see past his own experiences, could he? “If that’s so, why do so many teens want it? And why do they want it more once they get some?” I grilled him.

He shrugged. “Because teens are hard-wired that way.” He simply answered, before taking another sip. “Just because your hormones tell you to do something, or that you like something, doesn’t mean it’s true.”

“So everything’s pointless?” I asked him.

He looked me in the eye and grinned. “Kind of, yeah.” He answered. “So why are you here, anyway? Still trying to go after Nicole?”

Before I could answer, something rapidly took Paul’s attention completely away from me. His eyes immediately flew to the door, and his ears, almost invisible under his mangled Tarzan hair, almost visibly perked up. I followed his gaze and saw Phil hugging a girl dressed in some kind of modest dress. “Hey, Bri.” He warmly welcomed her. “Glad you could make it. Enjoy the party!” He walked off, leaving her in plain sight.

She was really pretty, in a kind of 1950s kind of way. Her hair was absolutely beautiful in the way you only saw in movies. It was brown, and curled in beautiful ways that an artist couldn’t have conceived if they were to draw the idea of beauty itself. It was definitely a natural curl too, which only helped her case. Her lips were absolutely covered in red lipstick. She could use those things to call down airplanes from the sky. Her lips naturally pushed out a little too, and her smile completed her face and lit up a room. She wasn’t much of a looker in terms of her body – average was the best word for her. Relatively flat-chested, no real amazing ass, but that didn’t take away from her overall looks. I didn’t really want to do anything with her, but she was definitely one of those girls you could appreciate from afar.

Appreciating her seemed to be the last thing on Paul’s mind as I turned back to him. His expression had changed from alert to alert and slightly upset. As small a change as it was, it was very noticeable. I turned back to the girl. She seemed almost shy… Kind of bashful, really, like she felt she didn’t deserve such an atmosphere. She was actually kind of cute. I turned back to Paul, whose Coke was gone. Both of his arms were positioned on the armrests as if he were about to get up.

“Oh, Christ.” He mumbled as he got up and disappeared into the crowd. Okay, then, I thought. Conversation over, I guess. I turned back to the hallway entrance to find Bri, or Brianne, or whoever, gone.

I figured sitting wasn’t doing me any favors either. I had no clue what I was doing, or what I wanted to do. All I knew was that I was buzzed (apparently not drunk) and didn’t want to sit still. I got up myself and headed to the hallway, surveying it. Well, I already know what’s on the ground floor, I thought as I looked to the stairs. Shit, why not?

The atmosphere shifted when I went upstairs. Downstairs was a warm, open place, but upstairs was decidedly quieter. It became quite clear that most of the people that were up here were behind one closed door or another. I could hear noises, and by that I mean a lot of noises, but they were muffled. Anybody outside of the closed doors was either trying to find an unoccupied room or enjoying small talk because they had no further need for their own room.

Somewhat timidly, I traipsed the halls, looking for any point for me to continue being up here. I turned the corner and the sounds stopped. Curiously, I walked up to the nearest door and leaned my ear against it, seeing if there really was no one in there or if they were just being really quiet.

I was only there a few seconds before I felt someone lean against me from behind. “Someone’s being a voyeur,” I heard a girly voice murmur in my ear as I felt a pair of tits press into my back. I whirled around to see the drunken smile of a very familiar brunette girl wearing short shorts and a low-cut shirt beaming at me.

“May,” I lamely mumbled. “You scared me.”

She giggled. “Sorry.”

“You’re drunk again, aren’t you?” I asked her, not forgetting that this time I was buzzed myself.

She nodded vigorously. “Not as much as last time though.” She clarified, making as serious a face as she could. “I’m a good girl.”

“Are you enjoying the p-”

“Tell me I’m a good girl, Adam.” May interrupted me, putting her hands on my shoulders and bringing me in close.

Fine, what the hell. “You’re a good girl, May.” I confirmed. “So wha-”

“Thank you.” She beamed, leaning in. Her lips extended forward, and met mine as we shared a kiss. Her hands explored my back as she wasted no time in vigorously grinding herself up against me, probing my mouth with her tongue. In the moment, I lost myself, giving in to the kiss and giving her my tongue to wrestle. It was evident by the way her mouth tasted that she was indeed drunk, and I prayed that she couldn’t taste that I was on my way myself.

It’s not like I wanted her to kiss me. Yet at the same time, she was the one who broke the kiss. After she broke it away, she looked me straight in the eyes and smiled. She exhaled loudly, then clumsily leaned in so her face could cuddle into my chest. “You’re a good guy too.” She sighed happily, then brought her face back up to meet mine. We shared a quick kiss, then she broke away and looked to both sides cautiously. “Do you…” She began shyly. “Do you wanna find a room together?”

Temptation, caution and adrenaline flowed through me like a river. “May… We shouldn’t.” I began weakly.

Amazingly, that was enough. May pushed me away in disgust. “Fuck you.” She spat. “Why shouldn’t we? I’m sexy, aren’t I?” She pulled her low-cut shirt and bra down to prove a point. Her beautiful big nipples stared me in the face as I had to fight my primal urges.

Her little show got the attention of one guy walking by, who gave her a whistle as he appreciated her breasts. She smiled proudly in response. I figured the whistle would attract attention, and immediately grabbed her shirt and pulled it back up over her breasts. “Put those away.” I instructed her.

She pouted. “Why don’t you want me?” She asked me sadly.

“May, it’s not a good idea.” I told her.

“It’s Megan, isn’t it?” May asked angrily. “Is she here? I’m better than her. Are you… are you still in love with her?” She asked, stumbling as she attempted to speak and adjust her bra at the same time.

“It’s not that, May.” I said, trying to spin words before I spat them so I could speak as coherently as possible. “I think it’s just a bad idea.”

“It’s a great idea.” She retaliated. “It’s only a bad idea when you decide to make it complicated.”

“May, it always ends up complicated.” I sighed, trying to tone down my volume so we wouldn’t make a scene.

“It’s no fair. You got to be with Megan. I bet you’re fucking camera girl too. Remember? Megan told me, if that fucking skank can be trusted…” May spat, slurring her words every so often.

I really didn’t like May referring to Megan as a ‘fucking skank.’ “May, I’m saying no. Remember last time? Not fun. Do you know what could make it better? Being better this time and accepting that I do not consent.”

“That’s not something you hear every day from a dude.” I heard some jock comment to his partner as they walked past.

I sighed and stared at May, who clearly was firing up some kind of rebuttal. “Come on, May.” I preemptively begged. “Don’t you want to be a good girl?”

“I am a good girl.” She stubbornly and bitterly mumbled, looking to the floor.

“Then please, just go find someone else or something.” I asked her. “It would mean a lot to me if you did.”

She slowly looked up from the floor to me with a twinkle in her eye. “I’m gonna go… I’m gonna go find someone else.” She told me happily.

“That’s gr-”

“I’m gonna make you jealous.” She continued, the smile turning mischievous. “I’m gonna make you crawl back to me. I’m gonna show all these guys what you’re missing.”

Internally, I sighed. However, this was honestly my best bet if I wanted to get May out of my hair. “Wait.” I said with fake hesitancy. “I don’t want you with anyone but me.”

May’s smile got bigger, then she immediately hid it. “Too bad, Adam.” She said, tossing back her hair. “I’m going to go fuck a bunch of guys. A whole bunch of them. I bet they’re better looking than you too. You don’t own me.” With that, she started strutting away, trying as best as she could to sway her hips without tripping over her drunken self. I smiled and leaned against the door, pleased with myself. That was one problem, sorted out.

I didn’t really count on the door being as poorly closed as it was. Within seconds of me being off scot-free, the door opened behind me and I fell into what looked like a guest bedroom. Worse yet, from the looks of things, it turns out there was a couple in here, judging by this random guy’s back going up and down on top of the bed – they were just being really quiet.

“Woah!” The random guy exclaimed, covering the two of them up. “Looks like we got a listener. Get the fuck out of here!”

“Oh my goodness.” Came a familiar embarrassed voice. Suddenly I was incredibly glad the door hadn’t opened while I was talking to May – from behind the guy’s back poked out the blond hair and shy brown eyes of Megan Schneider. “Oh my gosh. It’s Adam.”

“Adam? Who the fuck is Adam?” The guy demanded.

Megan seemed to have moved on from Carson. The guy I set her up with. I gave her a little push, but that was enough. She was sleeping with someone I was confident she didn’t know before this party. Holy shit. “You guys look like you’re having fun.” I managed to say, standing up. “Why don’t I just-”

“Do you have a fucking boyfriend?!” The guy demanded her, grabbing her shoulder forcefully. She looked too scared to react. “You slut!”

“Woah, woah, woah!” I stepped forward, attempting to calm him down. I wanted to leave, but there was zero chance Megan would have the nerve to defend herself at this point. “I’m just her ex, that’s all. I accidentally leaned on the door when I was walking by. I don’t mind at all. You guys can have your fun.”

The guy appeared to calm down given what I was saying. Beads of sweat rolled off of his forehead as the cogs in his head turned and he got what I was saying. “Alright, cool.” He simply said. “Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.”

“Cool.” I said as I swung around.

“Baby.” I heard Megan whisper to the guy as she tapped him on the shoulder. “Can he stay?”

“What?!” He and I both exclaimed as I whirled around.

“Do… Do you want to join, Adam?” Megan asked me sheepishly, giving me a bashful smile.

Jesus Christ. I was watching everyone in my life become a slut before my eyes. Including my own damn self.

“Fuck, doll.” The guy, still inside her, commented. “You’re a lot kinkier than I thought.” He grinned evilly a shot me a look. “What do you think, guy? You up for it?”

I’m sure somewhere this was some guy’s dream. I had to find that guy sometime and apologize to him for having such an opportunity and wasting it, but I already was put through this shit with Carson. “I’ll, uh… Pass, thanks.” I stumbled. “I’m good.”

The guy shrugged. “Your loss, pussy. Get the fuck out then.” He turned back to Megan and positioned himself. “You ready to keep going, slut?”

“Bye, Adam.” Megan sweetly waved to me, ignoring the guy mounting her. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Um, yeah. Okay.” I stammered as I walked out in a daze and closed the door behind me. What the fuck just happened in the past hour? I was sure the next time I saw Megan, I’d be apologizing to her, and vowing never to make her a sex object again. Looks like I was right – she was already doing it herself.

I thought parties were for making new friends. Why the fuck was I just bumping into everyone I happened to know? I guess I was ignoring everyone else… Maybe I should just go dance, I thought to myself. I resolved to, at the very least, go back to the ground floor, where things were less spooky, and make my decision from there.

I walked down the stairs, bracing myself for the music getting louder. soon as I got down to the ground floor, I was lost again. I figured a good first step was towards the living room, where most of the people were. Once there, I looked around for anybody else I recognized. No one, save for the corner of the room, where I saw Kenny, Thomas and Isaiah in a circle, cracking jokes with each other. For fuck’s sakes. Pass.

Suddenly, a pair of hands whirled me around. Still holding on that last bit of buzz, my body wasn’t ready and I got really dizzy. When I could refocus, I saw Nicole’s smiling face staring back at me. “Hey, squirt.” She warmly said.

“Hey.” I said, still stumbling.

She studied my eyes for a bit. “Have you been drinking?” She asked me seriously.

There was really no point in lying to someone as psychic as Nicole. “A bit.” I admitted. “Just two beers. I’m not drunk.”

She kept studying me, but slowly nodded. “First time?”

I nodded. “Yeah, it sucks.”

“It’s cool. Just don’t overdo it.” She instructed me. “Having a good time?”

“Oh yeah.” I sarcastically answered. “A blast.”

She laughed. “I showed you the room if you get a headache. C’mon, let’s have some fun.”

“What, couldn’t find another guy to have your way with?” I quipped.

“Nah, found two. They just finished already.” She shot me a mischievous grin. “If you think I came to this party just for one guy, I’m disappointed in you, squirt. Now c’mon.”

Just as she jerked my hand, indicating we should head for the stairs, I heard an unfortunately familiar voice. “Yo!” I heard shouted over the crowd. I turned my head and cringed, as I saw the Terrible Trio heading towards us. “Yo!”

Fuck. It was my turn to yank on Nicole’s hand and lead her off. I really didn’t want to talk to these bozos again. Unfortunately, by that point, Nicole had spotted them coming towards us. How the fuck was I supposed to introduce her to them? ‘Hey Nicole, I’d like you to meet Kenny, Thomas and Isaiah. They bullied the shit out of me in middle school.’ Didn’t quite sound like the best.

“Nicole! Shit, babe, how you doin’?” Kenny greeted her as my eyes widened in disbelief. She already knew them?

Nicole gave a small chuckle. “Hey, Subway, how’s it hangin’?” She greeted him, going in for a quick hug. “Hey Thom, Isaiah, you guys having fun?”

“Best fucking night of my life.” Thomas answered. “I got it on with two fucking girls upstairs. Like, we’re talking ‘at the same time’ here.”

Nicole held her fist out and he bumped it. “And how were they?” She asked, with a hint of expectation in her voice.

Thomas made an over-exaggerated bow. “Not nearly as good as you, m’lady.” He obediently answered her.

“Shit, you got to go all the way with her?” Isaiah asked in disbelief, then pointed his finger at her. “You still owe me a blowjob, bitch! What gives?”

Nicole folded her arms and pursed her lips. “Maybe if you didn’t call girls ‘bitch,’ and maybe if you had more than four inches to your name, I’d be more eager to help you out there, Isaiah.” Nicole coldly responded, causing the other two to guffaw at their horrified friend.

“Shit, babe, that was ice cold!” Isaiah complained. “What did I do to deserve that?”

“No one but me calls me a bitch.” Nicole answered him. “I’m also not your coin-operated slut machine.” I smiled at her pun. “If you want me to respect your dick, start by respecting me.”

“Shit bro, you got owned by a girl.” Kenny piped up, still laughing.

“Not just any girl, Subway.” Nicole added, flipping her hair back dramatically, showing off her twinkling blue eyes.

“What’s with ‘Subway’?” I asked, finding the ability to contribute to the conversation finally.

With that, all three of the bros looked down at me and immediately lost their shit. “Holy shit!” Thomas exclaimed. “It’s fucking Adam! Adam Watson!”

“From middle school?” Isaiah asked, equally excited.

Thomas slapped him upside the head. “We saw him at the last party, dipshit.” He told him. “Remember? We got him set up with Mary, or May, or whatever her name was.”

Shit. Shiiiiiit. With that, Nicole’s blue eyes were now fixated on me, and they were ice cold. I pretended to not notice, and waved the guys off. “Guys, I already told you, I didn’t want to have sex with May. Nothing happened.”

“Oh, right! Shit, how’d I forget?” Isaiah piped up. “Dude, you totally banged May. We saw you go upstairs together.”

“And when was this party?” Nicole asked him, keeping an even tone. When Nicole kept an even tone, that’s when you knew you were in trouble.

“It was at Jeff Swanson’s!” Kenny answered her.

“Thought so.” Nicole simply said.

“Guys, fucking quit it.” I angrily told them. “We went upstairs to discuss our relationships. Nothing more.” Suddenly an idea entered my head. I head never ever succeeded in butting heads with Nicole and coming out on top, but I had just what I needed to do so. “Cheating is awful to me. I would never cheat on a partner.” I turned to Nicole and looked her right in the eyes. “And I would never do anything with someone who had a partner.”

Nicole’s left eye twitched once, and our eyes were locked for what seemed like forever. Just when I was about to break eye contact, her gaze softened and she blinked slowly. She turned back to them, and it was clear she was no longer mad at me. Holy shit. I managed to win against fucking Nicole. This party turned out to be a momentous occasion.

Kenny appeared to sense that there was some kind of awkward moment and decided to end it. “Dude,” He remarked, tapping me on the shoulder. “I believe you asked a question, didn’t you?” With that, he smiled his obnoxious smile.

What? Oh, right. “Uh, yeah. What’s with the nickname?” I asked again.

Kenny smugly turned to Nicole. “Yeah, Nicole? What’s with that? Why do you call me Subway?”

Nicole sighed and gave him a mischievous smile. “Because I didn’t have to pay five dollars for my footlong.” She told him, as if she had rehearsed it over and over.

“Damn right.” Kenny beamed at her. “Wanna go for round… What is it now… round twenty-two?” He asked her, walking up to her and stroking her arm.

Nicole smiled at them. “Sorry boys, but I got a date with this freshman upstairs. Maybe next time?”

On cue, the trio began to lose their shit again, whooping and hollering, causing quite a scene and getting attention from a lot of people, who stopped dancing just to stare at them. Thomas took advantage of the situation to grab me around the shoulder and yell “Adam Watson, the playa, ladies and gentlemen! Let’s get some applause for this motherfucker!” Reluctantly, the quieted crowd began to applaud for the freshman they didn’t know.

I freed myself from Thomas’ grasp, face red. “Great, thanks dude.” I mumbled as everyone went back to whatever they were doing. “You guys are still assholes.”

“You mean fun.” Isaiah corrected me.

“Hey Isaiah, how does Nicole’s pussy feel?” I boldly asked him. “Oh wait, I should ask someone who knows. Or better yet, why don’t I go upstairs and find out for myself.”

Kenny and Thomas burst out laughing. Kenny was practically squealing as he pointed frantically at me, laughing his guts out. Nicole stared at me for a few seconds, and amazingly, joined them in laughter. I hadn’t seen her laugh this hard in a long time, or ever.

“Holy shit.” She remarked, wiping a tear from her eye. “Fucking owned by a freshman.”

“Fuckin’ shit.” Isaiah complained. “You guys all suck.” With that, he walked away dejectedly, and Thomas followed. Kenny held his fist out to me, and I bumped it.

“Enjoy, man.” He told me. “You fucking earned it.” He turned to Nicole. “Give him a good time. I like this guy.”

“I don’t take orders from you, jackass.” Nicole playfully responded.

Kenny went in for a hug. “It’s great seeing you, beautiful.” He told her. “Call me sometime.”

“Will do.” She happily responded as he disappeared into the crowd. Nicole grabbed my hand and with a smile, wordlessly started to drag me upstairs.

As we walked through the hallways and scanned for an empty room, Nicole stopped and looked at me. “So what’s the deal with May?” she asked. “Do we need to have a talk?”

I shrugged bashfully. “Don’t believe those assholes.” I instructed her. “Although May’s here, and she asked me to have sex with her a bit ago.”

Nicole nodded. “Alright, fine, I trust you. Sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” I said, and she gave me a warm smile.

“So, did you fuck her?” She asked me. “I mean, if you’re out of a relationship I guess it’s cool, but she’s more trouble than she’s worth.”

I enthusiastically nodded. “Yeah, she is. I told her no. She said she’s going to have sex with other guys to make me jealous.”

Nicole cocked an eyebrow. “Well, I guess we’d better give her a taste of her own medicine, huh?” She winked at me.

“Let’s do it.” I replied with a grin. She went up to a door, leaned her head against it, and closed her eyes. A few seconds later, she re-opened them. “In here,” She told me, opening the door.

I walked in to the unlit room as she shut the door. A second later, we were met with light as Nicole found the switch. A king-sized bed and a room furnished with lavish dressers, mirrors, some kind of Van Gogh imitation… Jeez.

“Jackpot.” Nicole declared triumphantly, proud of herself. “Phil’s parents’ room, motherfucker.”

I gave her a look. “Are we allowed to do this in here? Won’t Phil’s parents mind?”

“Big talk from you, considering we did it in my parents’ room. On Christmas, too.” Nicole pointed out. “The only room out of bounds is the drum room.” She swayed towards me and put her lips to mine, her hands curling around her back. “So, shall we?”

I was too pent up at this point to even give a response. I had to be strong to reject May and Megan, plus I was fairly sure Nicole’s lips were hypnotic, because I could not refuse them. I could only grin in response as she grabbed me and whirled me around on to the bed.

“Shirt,” She simply ordered. I hastily complied, quickly pulling mine over my head. In thanks, she removed her own, revealing, to the world’s surprise, a bra.

“You’re actually wearing a bra!” I exclaimed.

“Yeah, my boobs kinda hurt today.” she commented.

“I thought you said before that you never wear them and that you don’t even know if you wear them.” I pointed out.

She gave me a look like I was eating the bedsheets. “Yeah, because I was kidding, dumbfuck. Any girl with D cups has to wear a bra at least sometimes.” She retaliated. “Now, are you gonna remove your pants yourself, or am I gonna have to remove them for you?”

I put my arms behind my head. “All yours.” I quipped.

“My my, how generous.” She winked at me as she reached forward, and undid the button of my pants. Slowly, teasingly, she pulled my pants down, lower and lower until they were off. She sat there for a second, looking at me before muttering, “Ah, screw it.” She reached behind her and quickly removed her bra, before quickly removing my socks and my underwear.

“Well now that’s just not fair.” I pretended to pout. “I’m naked and you still have your pants on.”

“Oooooh nooooo.” Nicole replied sarcastically, crawling up to me, her beautiful boobs jiggling with each movement. “I guess you’ll just need to earn it, now won’t you, hotshot?” With that, she dove down and started to lightly kiss my neck.

For the first few seconds, all I could do was enjoy it. Nicole had such a purposeful, delicate, beautiful touch. My hand cradled the back of her head as she went from kissing, to licking, to sucking my neck. Every movement her tongue made complimented the last.

She eventually got bored of my neck, trailing her tongue down my chest, temporarily stopping at my nipples as she playfully flicked one with her tongue.

“How does it feel from the other side? She playfully asked.

I chuckled. “Just keep going.” I ordered.

She raised one eyebrow and smirked at me. “Wow, for a second there it almost seemed like you were the dom of us two.” She laughed to herself and continued her trail down my stomach.

Play-rage was building up inside of me. She didn’t think I could be a dom, huh? I guess I just had to show her I could. I shifted downward, causing her to raise her head from my stomach.

“You okay?” She simply asked.

In answer, I sat up and grabbed her by the waist, throwing her down onto the bed with force I didn’t even know I possessed. She was now lying on her stomach, and quickly, I pinned her to the bed.

“What the hell?!” She asked, some kind of anger building.

I was worried at that point that I had taken things too far, but I felt like continuing would have been better than meekly backing down and being awkward afterwards. I leaned in to her ear and whispered, “I’m going to fuck you now. And you’re going to enjoy it. Understood?”

Her anger melted as I saw a smile build on her face. “Ooh, so little Adam is trying to prove he can be a dom, huh?” She smirked. “Go ahead, widdle guy. Show me what you got.”

I wasn’t worried. Nicole’s domination, I had figured out, was all talk. As soon as I had her, she would melt. I was sure of it.Making sure she wouldn’t move, I swifly got off of her, but made sure I would make my move before she could try anything. Reaching under her, I undid her pants and pulled both them and her underwear off in one fell swoop. Nicole may have talked a big game, but it didn’t escape me that as soon as her bare ass was revealed to me, she let out an itty bitty moan.

Nicole’s ass was definitely a work of art. I’m pretty sure I could thank her dedication to karate classes for that. As soon as I worked her pants off, with no warning, I smacked Nicole’s beautifully sculpted ass, hard, earning a yelp from her.

“You know I’m just letting you do this to me, right?” She asked me, less confidently than she wanted to. “I could have kicked your ass when you tried to pull me down.”

I released her from my grasp and simply replied, “On your knees.” I said it slowly, deliberately, an inch away from threateningly. She didn’t reply, but instead looked me in the face. Her eyes reflected everything and yet nothing, but the important thing I could read was a complete lack of a smug smirk. We stared at each other for ten seconds, and then she exhaled and slowly got up into doggy style position.

“Good girl.” I continued slowly.

She chuckled lightly. “I’m so gonna kill you when this is over. You’d better make it worth it.” She smirked back at me.

Whack! Her smirk quickly turned into an ‘O’ of surprise as my hand came down to smack her other cheek. It quickly turned the same shade of pink as her right cheek. I felt a little guilty about making her hurt though, so I bent down and gently kissed her cheek. She really enjoyed that, and arched her back so my lips had better access to her cheeks.

I was planning on thrusting into her with no warning, but I guess I had to adapt to the situation. I got down close to her ass and continued to sensuously kiss her ass cheeks as my hand snaked its way between her legs. I bet she could feel me smirking against her ass. She shaved for the party.

I caressed her slit, making my touches light, teasing. I could feel her breathing quicken as I continued my light petting. Testing the waters, I gently nudged my finger slightly in between the soft, tender lips of her her pussy. Nicole, as if I should have doubted her, was wetter than I thought, and my finger made a lot more progress than I thought.

I earned myself a moan of approval from Nicole and figured I should capitalize on it, continuing to kiss her ass. My kisses got closer and closer to the center of her ass before I realized what was going to happen if I continued. I had heard of rimming from the Internet, but the idea of it was kind of gross to me. I mean, I was in grade 9. I think holding off on some kinks wouldn’t hurt.

Instead, I got back up and aligned my cock, rock-hard and pulsating with temptation, to her pussy. Nicole moaned as soon as she realized what was pushing up against her. She recovered easily though. “That was foreplay?” She teasingly asked. “You barely got your finger inside me!”

Perfect moment. Without warning, I thrust myself all the way into her, earning myself an “Ohmygod,” and the sight of Nicole hanging her head, breathing deep and scrunching the sheets. I laughed at the sight and grabbed her hips, starting to slowly pump myself in and out of Nicole’s beautiful pussy. The feeling of being inside her never got old – I loved the feeling of her pussy, holding on to my dick like a velvet vice, practically begging for me to release inside her with every spasm every muscle made. For the ‘school slut,’ I would have expected her to be a lot looser than she was. She was no Megan, but it felt amazing to be inside her. I loved the way her ass curved, and showed the appreciation with a few more smacks as I started to go faster and faster inside her.

Before long, Nicole was moaning and rocking back and forth, expertly meeting me with every thrust and knowing my moves before I myself knew them. She knew what I wanted, and was only too happy to oblige. She did have the upper hand, I thought to myself. She was dominating. Well, I wasn’t out of tricks just yet.

I was reluctant at first, before realizing I had to be confident with this or it wouldn’t work. I reached forward, my dick fully inside her, and grabbed her hair. She couldn’t feel it yet, and I could swear a small smile spread across my lips as I pulled back, readying myself for the biggest thrust I will have, at this point, ever given her, and thrust forward, yanking her hair as I did so.

Nicole’s head jerked back slightly. “Ow!” She exclaimed, and for a brief moment, I regretted what I did. I slowed down to let her accommodate to these new developments.

“Not bad for a freshman, squirt.” She growled. “You pull like a bitch though.”

That was my cue. I enjoyed the intense sensations my new position of power gave me as I pulled harder, keeping Nicole’s head back as I rammed her again and again, my other hand pulling her waist back into me as I aimed to go deeper with every thrust.

Nicole had finally given up her charade of confidence and given in to the sensations she was feeling. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” She was panting. “Give it to me, Adam. Give me all you got.” She lifted one hand from the bed, able to balance herself while fucking with just the one, and squeezed her boob, hard.

“There’s my good girl.” I murmured as I continued to drill her. I wanted to kiss her, if only her lips were closer. I wanted to ravage her. I wanted to have her. I wanted to own her. She was the sexiest thing I had ever met.

“Harder!” Nicole begged. “Please, Adam. Give it to me. Fuck me harder!”

“First, tell me what you are.” I roared as I continued thrusting into her. The sounds of our union were filling the air, as was the sweet smell that always came from the moments Nicole and I shared. Nicole was shivering, trembling, as I held her and gave her a rougher pounding than I ever have before.

“I’m…” She weakly started, knowing what I wanted to hear. “I’m your slut, Adam.” She said, just above a whisper.

“Louder.” I demanded.

She tried to look back at me, but I still had her hair in my grasp, making it impossible. I could feel her body giving out in the wake of at least a mini-orgasm as she moaned loudly, “I’m your fucking slut, Adam Watson.”

Grinning, I was all too happy to give her what she wanted. I really liked being in control – not only was it different from the relationship Nicole and I normally shared, but it was also nice to know that she was putty in my hands, that I could pleasure her just by dominating her, and I could have my way with her, holding nothing back.

At least, not under most circumstances. We had continued thrusting into each other wordlessly for but maybe a minute, maximum, when suddenly the door burst open. Shocked as hell, I immediately withdrew from Nicole, coaxing an “Aah!” from her, and covered myself up.

“Oh, shit.” A low-voiced guy piped up from the doorway. He was your usual jock – jacked, tall, short brown hair. Hazelwood High apparently had fun with a cloning machine when they made their jocks. A short blonde girl with blue eyes was under his arm, smiling in shock at what she was seeing.

Nicole was a hell of a lot calmer than I was. She rubbed her pussy gingerly as she turned her head around to see the couple. “Oh, hey James.” She began warmly. “Looking for a room?”

“Sup Nic.” He responded just as coolly. “Yeah, kinda. Are you two done in here?”

Nicole was about to say something, then stopped herself and gave me a look. “No…” She said slowly, looking me straight in the face. “But stay. You up for a little show?”

What the shit was going on at this party? Was there a ‘leave your inhibitions at the door’ sign that I missed? “Are you serious?” I whisper-asked Nicole.

“Not so confident now, are you?” Nicole whispered back jokingly. “C’mon, lighten up. The more the merrier.”

I looked back at the couple, who were talking it over with each other, then back to Nicole. “I dunno…”

“You don’t have to do anything with them if that weirds you out.” Nicole reassured me. “But I totally wanna do it with an audience.”

“Why?!” I asked her.

She shrugged. “It’s fun to be an exhibitionist sometimes.” She winked at me, then looked at the couple. “Look, guys, do what you want, but Adam and I have unfinished business.”

Group sex was definitely something every guy says they want, but when it comes down to the heat of the moment, I couldn’t do it. Even having an audience was something I wasn’t sure if I was ready for, but Nicole was Nicole, and she didn’t wait for my approval, she earned it. Facing me and giving a small smile, she leaned forward until her lips met with mine. I was hesitant at first, but quickly closed my eyes and tried to push the fact that the couple was definitely still there out of my mind.

The kissing got more and more intense and before long, I genuinely forgot we were being watched as I started groping Nicole’s beautiful boobs. She broke the kiss and slyly smiled at me.

“I knew you’d come around.” She naughtily purred before going for my neck, hungrily sucking and kissing. I sighed in pleasure as my hand started to rub her bare pussy. She was even wetter than before.

Nicole was softly moaning into my neck as I kept up my actions. Kissing her way up my neck, she lifted her head and looked me in the eyes. “Think you’re ready to do it again?” She asked. I started to look back to see if the couple was still there, but she took my head in her hands. “Don’t look at them, look at me.” She ordered, before kissing me tenderly and slowly. “Are you ready?”

I sighed. I wanted her. She wanted me. I was ready. “Let’s do it.” I nodded.

“That’s what I love to hear.” She beamed. She turned around and bent over. “Let’s do this.”

I loved when Nicole got like this. I turned back to see the couple were, to my surprise, watching us, intently. The girl was lightly kissing the guy’s neck as he was unabashedly looking at Nicole. “Oi.” Nicole called. I whirled my head around. “Me, not them, remember?”

I chuckled. She was eager. This was her way to tell me to hurry up. Who was I kidding? I was eager too. Having an audience was rapidly going from nerve-wracking to exciting. I hadn’t felt such anticipation in so long. I reached down and felt Nicole’s soft, fleshy pussy lips as I heard her moan softly from my touch. I dragged my fingers up and felt her soft, hot skin as I aligned my cock with her pussy using my other hand. Nicole wasn’t just beautiful, she felt beautiful. And now I was going to make a show of her beautiful body. Making sure my moves were exaggerated so the spectators could see, I thrust into Nicole, watching as my cock entered her.

I could swear I heard a soft moan behind me as I began to pick up speed, grabbing onto Nicole’s hips as I thrust into her harder and harder. The alcohol, the music pounding just a floor below us, the atmosphere of the party… Whatever it was, I was feeling some kind of contagion as I picked up speed, fucking Nicole with as much force as I could muster. I was feeling great. The feeling of Nicole’s hips as I grabbed onto them, allowing me to slam in and out of her, was great. I could feel her pushing back into me, allowing every millimeter of me to slide into her. Every nerve in my dick was going off like a firework as my thrusts matched the pounding beat bleeding through the floor.

“Fuck, you’re so good.” Nicole panted. “You guys enjoying this?” She yelled across the room.

There was no answer, so while I was fucking her, I looked behind me to see that the couple had gotten into it. Like, really into it. Like, ‘their clothes were on the floor and she was on her knees straight-up blowing him’ into it. So, the show had become a competition, huh? I smirked to myself. I doubled my efforts, determined to make Nicole cum before anyone else could.

Nicole felt amazing. I couldn’t have even been buzzed at this point, but something just felt different. Her skin was soft and hot to the touch, slightly damp from her sweat. Her love tunnel worked around my shaft, making sure every square centimeter of my dick got full attention as I thrust it into her, again and again. It felt so good that I lost track of my actions, and without warning, I realized my body was experiencing an electric shock of euphoria. Without giving her so much as a warning, I was releasing my load inside Nicole.

“Oh my fuck.” Nicole panted sexily as she felt my creamy blast let loose inside her. I could feel it splash against the walls of her vagina as her beautiful body coaxed the last few drops out of me. She arched her back, appreciating the feeling of me filling her. I became dizzy – letting loose my load really took it out of me. What the hell was going on? I thought to myself as I popped out of Nicole and sat back on the bed, spent.

She grinned back at me. “First to cum, huh?” She asked. “It was going to happen sooner or later.” She stretched a bit, relishing the feeling of me being inside her, then looked back at the spectators. Lazily my eyes followed hers.

He was behind her, in a doggystyle position like we had been in just seconds before. Both of them were clearly watching us intently until I stopped, and they were really into it. The girl looked really pretty in a ‘popular girl’ kind of way – a ‘fuck me’ expression, a curvy body with breasts that looked bigger than they should be on her relatively small frame. The guy had at least an 8 inch dick, putting mine to shame, and he was amazingly using all of it, thrusting all the way in and out with speed that made me wonder if the girl was secretly hurting, or if they just did this a lot. From the looks of them, they were close.

“Gettin’ close, baby…” James mumbled.

This caught the girl’s attention. “Babe, pull out.” She said with urgency. “I’m not on the pill. Please, pull out!”

The guy didn’t stop, presumably because he was through the looking glass at this point. Nicole sprang into action, leaping up from the bed and joining them with lightning speed on her knees.

“Tag out, girl.” Nicole jokingly told the girl as she separated the duo and quickly replaced the girl’s pussy with her hand, stroking the guy’s cock with every ounce of skill she had. The girl just collapsed on the floor, a little taken aback at the vivid difference of having someone inside her one second and outside her the next.

Within seconds, Nicole’s hand was replaced with her mouth as she managed to deepthroat most of his frankly huge dick. I was shocked, but also had to wonder to myself: Was this some kind of test? A way for me to prove to her that I was okay with not being the only guy in her sex life? I wasn’t sure, but the little wink she gave me as she continued sucking the guy’s dick sure didn’t prove me wrong.

As Nicole continued sucking James off, slurping all over his dick, the girl beside them began to rub her clit, clearly still enjoying watching. She must have been close when James was pounding into her because in no time at all she stifled what I could tell would have been a large moan as she writhed on the floor and her pussy noticeably drooled onto the floor, leaving a small wet spot.

“Wow.” She panted. “You guys are so hot.” Nicole only smiled, or did as much as she could to imitate a smile with her mouth full of dick, as she continued. Hesitantly, the girl crawled over and began feeling up James’s abs as he got his blowjob. Slowly, delicately, she lowered her mouth until she could close it around Nicole’s nipple, and began tenderly sucking.

“Woah, woah, woah.” Nicole snapped to attention as she pulled the dick out of her mouth and lightly swatted away the girl. “No thank you.”

The girl seemed very embarrassed. “Didn’t you like…?”

“Not into girls. Sorry, sweetheart.” Nicole answered flatly, going back to James’ dick. The girl rolled up into a little ball out of embarrassment, and I actually felt pretty bad for her. She looked upset.

I got off the bed and slowly walked over to the girl, rubbing her back sympathetically. “Don’t worry.” I reassured her. “you didn’t do anything wrong. Nicole’s just not afraid of saying what she wants.” She gave me a small smile, and the longer we looked at each other, the more it dawned on us that we were both naked. I felt a stirring feeling as I could feel my dick rising again.

She looked down at my dick, then back at me, and her smile widened. I returned the smile as I leaned down and did what the girl had done to Nicole, wrapping my mouth around her nipple. Slowly, playfully, I began to suck at her nipples, and that made the girl purr. Instinctively, she grabbed my shaft and began pumping up and down.

The feeling wasn’t as great as when I was with Megan or Nicole, but this girl definitely knew what she was doing. Before long my hips were making small, involuntary movements to accommodate her actions as I moved from nipple to nipple, enjoying how sensitive they clearly were. My tongue flicked her nub again and again, each one creating a small “Ooh” that escaped her lips as softly as… Well, as her skin.

Naturally, after already blasting away once, I didn’t have that much left in me, and I think the girl knew that. Pretty soon I felt that all-too-familiar feeling and grunted in warning. The girl understood immediately as she switched from a handjob to a blowjob, just in time as my cock erupted wave after wave of sperm into her mouth.

Just kidding. It was a few drops at best, but the girl didn’t seem to mind. After I was clearly finished, she smiled at me, and I smiled back. Even if it was just petty sex, I clearly made her feel better, and I’m glad I did. I turned around to see both Nicole and James, fully dressed, staring at us.

“About frigging time. At least you don’t cum after two pumps, for her sake.” Nicole dryly remarked. “Way to take your time, you two.”

“Thanks for the BJ, sweetie.” James warmly said to Nicole, going in for a hug.

“You know I enjoy it too.” Nicole slyly replied. “You’re welcome.”

James turned to me. “That was a lot of fun, dude.” He told me, fist-bumping me. “We gotta swap girlfriends again some other time.”

“Oh, I’m not… You are… We…” I managed to say.

James stared at me for a few seconds. “Freshman.” He remarked, then turned to Nicole. “You’re dating a freshman, aren’t you?”

“Nah, not dating. Just fucking.” Nicole answered him. “He’s got to get his sex ed lessons from someone.” She then grabbed her bottle of mint water from the ground and started chugging. Did she even bring that with her…?

James laughed. “Don’t ever change, Nicole.” He told her.

“Unless it’s out of this top?” She asked him with a wink.

“Unless it’s out of that top.” He confirmed. He grabbed his girlfriend by the wrist and led her out before I even got to say goodbye to her. “Later!” He called out after the duo left.

“…Wow.” I exhaled, shocked at all the shit that just went down.

“Yup. Welcome to parties at Phil’s place.” Nicole laughed. “This isn’t even the craziest one I’ve been to.”

“I bet.” I remarked.

“So, what happened to ‘I would never do anything with anyone who had a partner’?” Nicole asked me playfully.

“Hey, don’t hit below the belt.” I complained. “It’s kind of different if they’re both cool with it. Plus, I didn’t even know she was his girlfriend. Why’d you kiss Megan if you’re not into girls?”

“It’s a gag, dumbass.” Nicole retorted. “It’s fun to do shit like that. James has kissed a dude before.”

“Is he gay?” I asked.

Nicole looked at me like I was stupid. “Yes, squirt. James is gay. But don’t let his girlfriend know that. Now put some clothes on.”

“You know what I mean.” I replied as I started to put my underwear on. “Is he bi?”

Nicole shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t think so though. It was just a gag. I think Hazelwood is a lot more open than most high schools.”

“I noticed.” I remarked. “I saw a gay couple kissing in the hallway earlier.”

Nicole nodded. “Yup, it’s pretty normal here. Although unless those were two dudes in the closet until tonight, that was probably Jerome and Chris. They’re cute.”

“Getting worked up again?” I asked her jokingly.

“I’d fuck ’em.” Nicole replied seriously. “It just sucks neither of them likes girls. A threesome with me in it is the best threesome ever.”

“You’ll have to show me sometime.” I joked as I put the last of my clothes on, joining her. She chuckled and slapped my ass, earning a yelp from me. “Quit doing that.” I mumbled.

Wordlessly, we started heading back downstairs. We, or at least I, didn’t really have any plans on what to do from there, and communicated as much with my eyes to Nicole.

She shrugged. “Living room?” She suggested. I shrugged in response, and followed her. We walked into the living room, and Nicole started dancing with the crowd. I wasn’t much of a dancer, or a crowd person for that much, and just stood back, people-watching.

And what a person I had stumbled upon. In another corner of the room was the unmistakeable figure of Megan, striding up to a guy. I could see what she was saying, but she was talking to a tall, hunky guy.

“Hey look, it’s your ex.” Nicole pointed out fake-seriously, popping out of nowhere. When I looked back at her, she gave me a huge grin. “Jealous?”

I looked back at Megan. “Nah.” I replied. “Good for her.”

“Your words say one thing, your tone says another.” Nicole said in a sing-song voice. It was true, my tone wasn’t the happiest. But that was less out of jealousy and more out of a general ‘Oh dear god I fucked a thirteen-year-old and turned her into a sex addict’ feeling.

And how fucking true was it ringing. As soon as I concentrated back on Megan, away from my thoughts, I saw she was shyly kissing the hunk, rubbing his package and he grabbed her ass.

Nicole was intently watching her too. “Wow, she’s not even buzzed.” She commented. “She must really like it. I never took Megan as the type to be a slut.”

That’s because the real Megan isn’t one, I thought bitterly to myself as I watched the couple disappear upstairs, his hand clasped around her wrist. I wished so badly that I could turn back the clock and have treated her right. I think she would have turned out completely different if I have.

I was broken out of my thoughts by a pair of arms hugging desperately around me, almost tackling me to the floor. From the sea of people came May, now clinging on to me for dear life, her face buried in my shirt. Even over the music I could hear that she was crying.

“May?” I managed to ask in confusion. “Are you okay?”

Yeah, stupid question. I looked over at Nicole, who was surprised enough that she hadn’t said anything or made any move by that point. Eventually, May looked up at me, her body still vibrating due to her violent crying. “Adam, help me.” She pleaded.

“What’s going on, what’s wrong?” I asked urgently.

“It’s… It’s Phil.” She managed in between sobs. “He… He…”

“Is Phil okay?” I asked, trying to see where she was going with this.

“I wanted to make you jealous…” May started. “But I never wanted to… I… He did things, Adam.”

“Phil raped you?!” I asked her. In response, she burst into a fresh set of sobs, nodding into my shirt as she did so.

Almost as if on cue, Phil burst into the room, searching frantically until he found us. “Adam.” He called out to me with an urgent voice, then marched right up to us. “Nicole. Adam. Don’t listen to whatever this fucking liar is telling you.”

“Fuck you!” May yelled at him, then looked me in the eyes. “It’s true, Adam. I promise you. I’m being a hundred percent honest.”

“I never did anything against her will.” Phil protested.

“Then how do you know she was coming to Adam to tell him you raped her?” Nicole asked him slowly.

Phil gave her a grave look. “Aw, Nicole. not you too.” He said solemnly.

I looked over at May, who was still bawling away, then at Phil, who still had to do his fly up, looking like he was pleading me to side with him with his eyes. Here I was, in the middle of a party, trapped between a guy who didn’t know that no meant no and a girl who lied to get her way in the past, and I had zero clue who to trust.

Son of a bitch.

Chapter Thirteen

I frantically looked around me. I was trapped, pure and simple. May was clinging to me, failing to make any kind of coherent word, as Phil tried to talk over her anyway. As I looked around us, I couldn’t help but notice the dozens of people with their eyes on us. On every face I read confusion. People knew that something had happened but they didn’t know what.

In desperation, I turned to Nicole, who was looking down at the floor, an uneasy look on her face. She wasn’t even bothering to try to make eye contact with anyone in the room. I was hoping she’d be the one to get me out of this mess. She always was in the past, but I guess it was all up to me now.

But I didn’t know what to do. I just didn’t. My eyes darted around the room, going from person to person, until they landed on a noticeably curious face.

Paul’s face, to be precise. He was sitting down again, and was scanning me. I moved my eyes from him to May, back and forth, hoping he would get the message. His eyes moved to May, then Nicole, then Phil, then back to mine. He nodded and stood up.

He sauntered over to us, stopping just in front of our crowd, and turned around to face the crowd. He was conveniently within arm’s reach of the music player, and turned it down as he cleared his throat.

“Excuse me, everyone! Could I have your attention, please?” he addressed the crowd. He was met with one or two ‘shut up’s from class jokers, but aside from that, the crowd quieted down. “Could everyone please keep an eye peeled for an earring? My cousin lost one, and it’s from her grandmother so it’s kind of important to her. Now, she knows she had it when she arrived, so it’s probably on the ground somewhere. If you find it, she’ll be in the drum room. Thank you all so much in advance!” With that, he turned back up the music, covering the murmurs from the crowd, as he silently ushered the group – Phil, May, Nicole and myself – into the drum room. Luckily, there was no one in there that we would have had to shoo out.

As soon as Paul closed the door behind him, the ominously quiet group exploded again with words, most of them swear words, being flown around in all direction. When the smoke had cleared from the general venting, Nicole turned to Paul.

“What the fuck was that?” she asked him with a razor-sharp tone. “This is a private thing. Why the fuck do you always think you need to get involved and prance into every little thing?”

The playful glow that normally surrounded Paul left as he listened to Nicole. His eyes widened just a little as he cleared his throat and slowly started walking forward, his eyes never leaving Nicole. “Listen, you.” he spoke in a scarily calm, yet furious tone, speaking quickly yet articulating every word perfectly. “You all were clearly in some kind of situation back there, and I didn’t see you doing a single damn thing about it.” He jutted out a finger into her collarbone, effectively making her take a step back. With each word he got closer to her face. “I just got you all a place to talk, and prevented any gossip forming as a result of this, and you still find a reason to crawl up my ass. This is my first and only warning – get off my fucking back. I don’t even know what I did to piss you off, but you’d better let me know what it is right now or you can try to actually be a kind person, as hard as that must be for you. Which one is it going to be?”

Paul was such a goofball in most situations that I never saw this coming. He was scary. His tone was terrifying. His serious face bared no resemblance to his normal joking face. Everyone in the room stopped talking as soon as he started. His mere presence in the room made everyone shrink back, with him towering over everyone in the room despite being maybe 5’9.

Out of everyone, Nicole was clearly the most taken aback. For the first few seconds she processed what he said, her eyes fearfully darting back and forth. Her eyes slowly traced their way back up to his, then immediately went down to the floor.

“Sorry, sir.” She quickly and shakily muttered.

Holy shit. I was floored. I never thought anyone would break Nicole. I thought I was watching history unfold. The effect he left on Nicole left me feeling silly that I thought I was ‘dominating’ Nicole just a few short minutes ago.

That was good enough for Paul. He nodded and turned to Phil. “I don’t know what’s going on here, but I figure it’s serious enough that you guys want your privacy. Want me to keep an eye on the door for you guys? Make sure no one comes in?” He asked him.

Phil was still visibly disturbed by this whole thing. “Nah, it’s cool.” he said to Paul. “Just enjoy the rest of the party.”

“If you insist.” Paul responded, not wishing to press the issue. “You got my number if you need anything.” Without waiting for a response, he swayed out of the room, shutting the door behind him. as soon as he was gone, the yelling continued, except for Nicole, who was clearly upset. She walked backwards over to the wall, leaning up against it and sighing. If it were any situation other than this, I would have immediately gone over to her and tried to comfort her.

“So what the hell is going on?” I tried to cut through the yelling.

May noticed me, evidently for the first time since we came in to the drum room, and ran to my side. “Keep me away from him, Adam.” she rasped, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “You want to know what’s going on? He did things to me.” She could barely finish the sentence without bursting into tears.

Phil pointed a finger right back at her. “Don’t listen to this bitch.” he told me, seething with anger. “She was the one to come onto me. She wanted it. She told me she wanted it. Five minutes later she runs out with this fake crying shit. I don’t know why but this cunt is trying to ruin me.”

“So she was drunk and didn’t consent to it halfway through?” I asked him.

“No!” May interjected. “He’s lying. I didn’t say I wanted it. He just took what he wanted. He just assumed I would go down easy and took what he wanted.”

“So you ran from him?” I asked.

She shuddered. “He did things to me first, Adam.” she told me quietly.

“I’m not denying we did stuff.” Phil pointed out. “Yeah, we had sex. But she expressly told me she wanted it.” He turned to her. “Hey. If you wanted a more convincing lie you should have told him it’s because you were drunk and… and the whole ‘halfway through’ thing.” He waved his hand around in my general direction, referencing what I had said before.

“Okay…” I said, mostly to myself. There was no way I could fairly take anyone’s side. “I guess the only way we can prove this is with medical testing. Swiping for sperm or something.”

“That won’t work.” May uneasily pointed out.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Well I… I escaped halfway through, so he didn’t… you know… finish.”

I sighed into my hands. I didn’t know if that was a thing. Could medical testing for rape victims still work if the rapist hadn’t ejaculated? I didn’t know. I didn’t know a lot of shit, so I took her word for it. Shit, I was only a freshman. I should not be the mediator for shit like this, I thought to myself.

Phil, as if looking for holes in her argument in the future, nodded. “That’s kinda true. Halfway through she just got off me, grabbed her clothes and straight-up fuckin’ ran out of the room.”

I saw a ray of sunshine in the agreement. “So maybe this is a misunderstanding. Maybe you thought you consented, but you didn’t and went along with it until you couldn’t take it anymore.” I concluded, pointing to May and Phil respectively as I made my point.

“He didn’t even wait for me to object, Adam. That’s not what happened.” May timidly told me.

Phil was facing the ceiling, trying to remain calm in his building anger. “She literally fucking told me that she wanted to have sex with me. It doesn’t get more crystal-clear than that.” he told the ceiling.

“Okay.” I huffed. “I… we… um…” I eyed Nicole, who was still against the wall. “Nicole, jump in any fucking time here. We could use another opinion.”

“Shut up.” She mumbled, not looking up.

I sighed loudly. “Nicole, any other time it’s fine, but could you please put whatever it is aside and h-”

“I said shut up.” she told me firmly. I looked at Phil, who shrugged and shook his head no. I guess Nicole was out of this debate for whatever reason.

I thought to myself as tension and silence hung heavily in the air. “The only thing left I can think of would be to call the police if th-”

“No!!” both of them called out at the same time, then looked at each other with a distrusting sneer.

“Why?!” I asked exasperatedly. I was getting sick of this.

Phil was the first to voice his objections. “Word is going to get out if the police are called to my house, bro. And what do you think is going to happen to my reputation? Shit, even if the rape isn’t mentioned my life is going to be hell. And I already told you about that, remember?”

There was no malice to his voice, but a chill ran down my spine as I remembered his threat. I sighed as I realized that Phil had me by the balls. “Okay, sure, whatever.” I replied, giving less of a crap by the second, and turned to May. “Alright, why the hell don’t you-”

“Are you living in a fantasy world?!” May accused Phil, turning to him. “First of all, anything that happens to you, you fucking deserve it. Secondly, if I say you raped me and you say you didn’t, they’re never going to take me seriously. They’re going to ask me if it was actual rape or just eye contact, and they’re just going to press me for anything I may have done to ‘ask for it.’ You get off scot-free because ‘she’s probably lying’ or some shit.”

“Yeah, that never happens.” Phil dismissed May.

“Sometimes it does.” Nicole piped up, still keeping her head to the floor.

“Now you choose to contribute?!” I yelled at her.

“You have no idea what it’s like to be violated! Fuck you!” May spat at Phil.

“Fuck me?! Fuck you!” Phil shouted back at her. Before long, the room had devolved once again into a series of shouts and disagreements. Not knowing what else to say, and emotionally spent, I backed up and joined Nicole by the wall.

She lazily looked over at me. Evidently, she had gotten over what was making her inconsolable, but still didn’t feel 100%. “Oh, right, you don’t like yelling.” she remarked calmly, noting how uncomfortable I looked. I nodded, so with great effort, she got up from the wall and clapped in between May’s and Phil’s faces, which were getting closer by the second.

“Alright, fuckers, listen up.” she addressed them with not a shred of emotion in her voice. “If you’re not going to call the police or do anything decisive about this, then there’s really nothing else we can do, so that means Jimmy Carter and I are outta here.” She grabbed me by the wrist and started to lead me out. “Hope this all gets resolved.” She stopped as soon as she was in front of Phil, and looked him in the eye. “Bye, Phil. Thanks for the party.” She gave him no smile, and continued to lead me out of the room, practically dragging me. I didn’t feel it was right to leave those two alone, especially if Phil really did violate her. Leaving them alone with someone making sure no one came in would just make it… worse.

“Nicole, come on, please, wait.” Phil begged as Nicole opened the door, waited until I was past it, then slammed it after me. She was still looking back at the door as Paul walked up to us.

“Is everything resolved?” he asked warmly. Nicole, upon seeing him, gasped, bringing both hands to her mouth, letting go of me in the process. Her back hit the door as she recovered from the shock.

“Sorry.” she mumbled defeatedly, throwing her hands down to her side and walking as quickly as she could without running towards the main door.

I looked at her then back to Paul, who was watching Nicole with a cocked eyebrow. “No clue what her problem is.” he said to no one in particular. “Don’t get me wrong, she’s interesting, but she’s hated me for no reason for a long time now.”

I ignored him and pointed to the door. “They’re alone in there, and they probably shouldn’t be.” I told him. “Go back in there and ask if they’re willing to tell you what happened. You’ll be better at helping them than me.”

“Are you okay?” He asked me, noting how distressed I both looked and sounded.

I ignored him again. “Even if they don’t feel comfortable telling you, just don’t let them be alone in that room together. Hopefully this whole thing will blow over. I gotta go.” I didn’t even wait for a response as I ran out the door and to Nicole’s car, where she was waiting and idling.

As soon as I shut the door behind me she mumbled, “About time.” She started driving as silence loomed over the car.

“…Jimmy Carter?” I finally asked, hoping to cut the tension. It seemed to work, as Nicole chuckled.

“I guess not everyone pays attention to Israeli-Palestinian conflicts.” she said humorously as she kept driving. “Not your fault, squirt.” She kept driving for a few more seconds before adding, “None of this is your fault.”

“Are you okay, Nicole?” I asked, my voice reflecting real concern. She turned to me and gave a small, hesitant smile. She turned back to driving, but my gaze remained on her.

“Was it really that smart leaving those two alone? I mean, rape is a pretty serious thing.” I lamely kept up conversation.

She shrugged. “Who even fucking cares.” she told me flatly. “If it’s just a game of he said she said, more people being involved just means more bullshit.”

“If she was violated, it would have been nice for people to have comforted her and taken her side.” I pointed out.

Nicole shrugged. “Maybe. It’s the most devastating fucking thing in the world right now, but she’ll get over it. It’s just one of those things life throws at you. Give it a couple of years and she’ll realize it’s no big deal.”

I scoffed. “I bet that’s how May will justify it to herself.” I said aloud. “But I bet she’s still hurting. I’d like to do whatever I can to make that hurting go away. I like seeing her happy.”

I was no longer talking about May. Nicole, still looking at the road, bit her lower lip slowly. Her right hand came off the steering wheel and extended towards me, grabbing my left hand and bringing it in between the seats. I looked at our hands, entwined awkwardly.

“I thought you don’t l-”

“Shut the fuck up and hold my damn hand, squirt.” Nicole told me, her voice slightly quivering.

I nodded and looked forward. We didn’t say anything for the longest time, but every so often, I’d give her hand a compassionate squeeze.

***

There was really no indication of how word spread, but did it ever. Before first period even started, the school was abuzz. Phil raped May. No he didn’t, she was lying. Maybe both happened. How could both happen?! You’re stupid. No, you’re stupid. Etc.

I had come by bus, which meant I really only had fifteen minutes to make of the situation before I had somewhere to be. The school administration seemed to have about as much of a clue as I did as to what to do with what was passing by everyone’s lips. Just as I was sitting down in Mr. MacDonald’s geography class, the P.A. system piped up.

“Good morning, staff and students. This is Mr. Scott speaking.”

“Yeah, we know.” The class clown piped up, earning a generous two slight chuckles.

Mr. Scott’s voice sounded oddly hesitant in comparison to his normal jolly self. “Uh… could Phil Love and May Stevens please come to the main office as soon as possible? Apologies for the interruption. Morning announcements will commence in five minutes.”

An initial response of ‘ooooooh’ waved throughout the room. I looked around at everyone, almost sad. Everyone knew what was happening, but no one seemed to care. To everyone else, this was just a spectacle. Something for them to watch, not someone’s feelings. It made me uneasy.

I turned to Megan, shock evident on my face. I was about to say something, but then realized she didn’t know what was going on. For all I knew, she spent the whole night upstairs and this whole thing didn’t mean anything to her.

“What do you think that was about?” I asked her, trying to play it cool.

Megan looked at the PA box, then back to me. She shrugged. “I don’t know.” she simply responded.

For some reason, I was relieved. I think some of it was the guilt knowing that I had dragged Megan through a lot of shit, and I didn’t want to complicate things further.

“Hey.” she attempted to get my attention again. I turned back to her and nodded. “Would you like to sneak off at lunch? I think the janitor’s closet is unlocked that time of day…” she trailed off, giggling and looking at me with her trademark innocent yet mischievous face she had managed to perfect in such little time.

I’m sure a few months ago such a proposition would thrill me. Now, I had to prevent the worry from showing on my face. “I’m, uh… fine, thanks.” I managed, not bothering to hide the shock. “Boy, when you said you wanted to be like Nicole, you weren’t kidding, were you?”

She blushed. “Well, I mean, it’s… you know… fun.” she feebly responded.

“No no.” I reassured her. “Don’t worry, I didn’t mean it like that. I just didn’t expect it. I mean, we’re practically adults, there’s no reason to judge someone for sleeping around or sleeping with a lot of guys or something…” I attempted to parrot Nicole, and somehow managed to put together a worse speech than Herman Cain. Great.

Still, it appeared to satisfy her. “Really?” she beamed. “You think it’s okay?”

Whatever made her happy. “Yeah, totally. I didn’t want to stop you when you were having sex with that other guy at the party. It looked like you two were having fun.”

“So it’s okay for a girl to sleep around?” Megan concluded, as if looking for my approval.

“Um, sure…” I stumbled awkwardly. Where was she going with this?

Her smile turned blatantly mischievous. “Then it’s your loss.” she told me. “If you don’t want to sneak off, I’m going with someone else.” She playfully tossed her hair over her shoulder. “If you want to reconsider, you know how to reach me.”

Oh, great. Great. “Megan…” I began exasperatedly.

Within seconds that innocent look was back on her face. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “Didn’t you mean what you said about me?”

I sighed. “Yeah, I meant it.” I admitted. At that point I was wishing my problems were only limited to Phil and May.

Without another thought, Megan turned around and started chatting up another guy. I didn’t really need to guess what she was talking about, seeing as after thirty seconds the boy’s responses went from general disinterest to hormonal excitement.

My head collapsed into my arms on the table. You know what? I thought to myself. Fine. As long as she stays out of trouble, that’s totally fine. I already had a lot of worry clouding my mind – I really didn’t have the energy to spare some of that worry for another.

***

I didn’t actually have to go to the washroom, I was just nosy as hell. It didn’t matter much to Mr. MacDonald, so I had a fair amount of time to look into just how events were unfolding.

And unfolding they were. As I approached the main office, the sounds of faint murmuring and some kind of occasional beep greeted my ears. As the situation came into my viewpoint, the worst case scenario came up and hit me straight in the gut.

Police. The police were called. Memories of what had been said at the party flashed through my mind as I realized that this was probably the school’s doing, not May’s or Phil’s. The beeping came from inside the office as some police officer was talking into a walkie-talkie. I looked around cautiously then tiptoed my way up to the front door of the office, peering into the door’s window.

I could faintly make out civil arguing between May and Phil. Why the school thought this would help, I had no clue, but no surprise, the officer was doing a much better job of being a mediator than I was.

“If there’s no evidence, how can you charge me with anything?” Phil asked loudly, his voice muffled by the door coming between he and I. His voice was slightly raspy and very angry. “Don’t you realize what you guys being here is even doing? I won’t be able to fucking walk around in the halls here anymore without feeling guilty for shit I didn’t do!” he shouted. I had never seen Phil so angry in my life. He attempted to calm down and added, “Suppose even for a second that this bitch is lying. Isn’t it-”

“Fuck you you stupid rotten bastard!!” May leapt up from her chair and came within millimeters of Phil’s face before the officer intervened and grabbed her, making her sit back down on the chair. If this weren’t such a serious situation, I would have laughed at how genuinely terrified Phil’s face looked when May went all bonzai on him.

I can’t imagine the use of ‘this bitch’ earned Phil any points. At any rate, it was abundantly clear they were getting nowhere fast. My guess was they had already interviewed the both of them and realized how much of a game of ‘he said she said’ it was, so they were trying to find something out while having them together in the same room. But anything was possible. I didn’t know about police proceedings and I didn’t know how they handled cases like this. Unfortunately, I knew this meant that someone was going to win, and someone was going to lose. Whether or not Phil actually did it, they were either going to charge him or not, and that meant there was a clear winner and a clear loser.

“This is a private matter, young man.” An authoritative female voice piped up from behind me. “I need to ask you to leave.”

I turned around and faced a giant of a woman with one eyebrow cocked, with most likely the most scared expression my stupid face could provide. “S-sorry.” I stammered.

She looked me up and down. “What’s your name?” she asked me.

“A-Adam.” I timidly answered. “Adam Watson. Yours?”

It was stupid of me to try to make conversation but it was a nervous reflex. I could see the woman hold back a chuckle. “Officer Dickson. I’m responsible for this school.”

“Why aren’t you in there then?” I asked.

“This is the last question you get to ask me.” she warned. “This is a serious matter, so we needed multiple officers to respond. If word gets out about this you could seriously be damaging people’s lives. You understand that?”

I chuckled nervously. “Half the school’s been talking about this since before announcements.” I told her honestly.

She sighed, and looked down the hallway. “Sounds like the Hazelwood I remember.” she remarked bitterly. “And no, before you ask, you can not know what this situation is about. Now go.”

“I already do.” I continued conducting the Train of Honesty. “May claims Phil sexually harassed her, Phil claims he didn’t.”

She folded her arms. “Is that all you know?” she asked me seriously.

“Pretty much.” I nodded. “After the fact May found me and told me what happened, then Phil told me his side. It’s probably the same stuff you guys heard.” I paused. “Isn’t there no evidence? How do you guys approach a ‘he said she said’ thing like this?”

“I can’t answer that.” she told me bluntly. “You already know too much. It’s your responsibility as – I’m going to assume you’re their friend…”

I meekly shrugged.

“…to not say anything about this situation to anyone. Not a word. This situation is only going to get worse.”

“I know.” I replied, a little offended.

She didn’t respond. She moved her lips from one side to the other in thought.

“Do I get to know what you’re thinking about?” I asked her.

“I think I’m going to need to send you home for today.” she answered. She read my face and immediately added, “Don’t worry. This isn’t a punishment. You did nothing wrong. But we need to do as much damage control as possible. You understand, you know a lot about this. We’ll make a decision and we’ll try as hard to make the right one, but anything not handled by us could have major consequences for those two.” She gestured with her head towards the office.

“I’m not going to blab about this!” I replied, a little angry. “Hell, half the school knows already.”

“I can’t know for sure that you won’t, or if you didn’t already.” she told me. “This is supposed to be need-to-know information.”

I gestured around me. “We’re having this conversation in the main freaking hallway!” I argued.

She ignored me. “Come on.” With that, she ushered me into the main hallway, where the other officer was talking to May and Phil. May had her back to me, so she didn’t see me come in, but Phil noticed immediately.

“Him! That’s him.”He energetically pointed to me. “That’s Adam. He knows.”

The male officer turned to face me, then Officer Dickson. “Is he a witness?”

“He claims Phil and May came up to him afterwards and told him everything they know.” she answered him. “He also claims we would know everything he knows.”

“Good find, sir.” the male officer responded, then turned back to Phil and May.

“Sir?” I whisper-asked Dickson. She shushed me.

“Alright, you two. We’re going to ask Adam here a couple questions to see if both of your stories check out. Can you both verify that you told Adam the truth?”

“Yes.” Phil practically beamed. For some reason he thought I was his saving grace.

“Y-yeah.” May replied, not less confident but instead shaken from the whole event.

The two were ushered out of the room by Dickson and presumably taken to some other room as the officer sat me down.

“Adam, my name is Officer Teeson,” he told me in a warm, calm voice, mildly reminiscent of Salvadore’s. “Could I please have your full name, the name of your parents, your current address and phone number?”

I complied, then used the opportunity to ask my first question. “Officer Dickson said I know too much and need to be sent home. Is that true?”

Teeson shrugged. “It may have been true about a minute ago but now you’re a witness. We’ll discuss what happens with you after this depending on the situation and if anything has changed. Please tell us the whole truth. If you were threatened or put in any other situation implying personal harm, talk to us and you will be protected. Do you understand?”

“Yeah.” I replied a little shakily. “Oh, and my geography teacher will need to be notified. He thinks I’m going to the washroom.”

His eyes trailed up from his notebook to meet mine. “Did you come down here specifically knowing you could be a witness?”

“No, I just wanted to know what was going on.” I answered.

“Under the circumstances we’re glad you did but in the future do not do that, at least without being honest to your teacher. Dickson is going to tell him what’s going on but he will know he was lied to. We are going to stress that part. Lying to people who are paid to watch over and take responsibility for you is never a good idea. Do you understand?”

“Yes sir.” I meekly responded. Teeson mumbled into his walky-talky, presumably telling Dickson to tell MacDonald, then clicked his pen.

For the next thirty minutes he grilled me for every detail. Who left the bedroom and came to me first, what their emotions were, who else knew (and I honestly answered Nicole and possibly Paul), how proper their clothes and May’s makeup looked – hell, even Phil’s fly. They needed a reason to trust or distrust one particular suspect, and I was the key to finding out which suspect they could trust.

At the end, Teeson clicked his pen a few times and sighed. “I think we have all of the information we need.” he informed me. “Thank you for your compliance. I am going to trust you to keep this entire thing to yourself though. If anyone asks you who did it, your only answer is ‘I don’t know.’ If anyone asks what happened over the weekend, your only answer is ‘I don’t know.’ They ask about the police in the school, where May Stevens and Phil Love are, or even where you were, your answer is ‘I don’t know.’ If you fail to keep this information private, we will find out and there will be severe consequences.”

“Aren’t I being sent home?” I asked him.

He shook his head no. “Officer Dickson talked it over with the principal and reached an agreement with him. This agreement is based on trust. Do not break it.”

“I understand.” I replied, then scratched my head. “So what happens now? Do you have enough information to make the decision?”

“I can not disclose that.” Teeson replied. “Besides, you don’t know anything about this situation to begin with.”

“Ah right, how could I forget.” I replied sarcastically. I got up from my chair and started to make my way towards the door, looking up at the clock above the door. Still another thirty minutes left in class, I realized. With that, I made the trip back to class hastily, as if that would improve the reaction I would inevitably get from MacDonald.

When I got back in the room, the class was borderline silent, working on some paper. “Ah, Adam.” Mr. MacDonald welcomed me. “You were in the washroom a long time. Are you okay?”

No malice was evident on his face. He clearly didn’t want to make a big deal of the situation, at least while others could see.

“Uh, yeah.” I lamely replied, then patted my stomach. “Just a little disagreement if you know what I’m saying.”

***

One uneventful Spanish class later, lunch had begun. Ever since the police interview had sucked the energy of the situation out of me, the whole thing was no longer at the forefront of my mind. I didn’t really give it much thought until I saw Phil at his locker, packing his stuff.

“Phil!” I shouted over the crowd. He didn’t hear me, so I ran up to him. “Phil.” I repeated.

“Hey, buddy.” he replied in an energy-deprived tone, not taking his eyes off of the backpack.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“May and I were asked to pack up our stuff and go home for the day.” he informed me.

“Well, yeah, I could guess that, but what was their decision?” I asked eagerly.

He faced me with dead eyes. “You know I can’t let you know that.” he told me, then gestured to the people around us. “Especially here.”

I bit my lip and stared at the ground. “Yeah, I know.” I replied bitterly. “Are you gonna be okay?”

He sighed. “I dunno.” he said. “I mean, never mind the decision the cops made, apparently half the school knows what went down. I have no clue what’s going to happen going forward. My college applications, my presidency, fuck, even just how people view me. May can preach all day about how this looks bad for her, but she clearly doesn’t remember that in her story, I was the attacker, and in mine, we consented. There’s no winning for me. There never was. The best thing I can do going forward is avoid her like the plague. I’m lucky I wasn’t relocated to a new fucking school. The absolute best case scenario for me is that everyone forgets, nothing bad happens to me and a bitch gets away with a serious false accusation.”

“What’s the worst case scenario?” I asked him, sympathy in my voice.

A small smile appeared on his otherwise lifeless face. “The worst case scenario would have been me being carried out in handcuffs, and I’m sure you’ve noticed, that ain’t happening.” His smile got bigger as what he said dawned on me. “See you later, my man. Thanks for the help.” With that, without waiting for my reaction he turned around and started to walk slowly down the hall.

So, the decision was made. I had no clue about whether Phil had actually done it, and I got the feeling that the cops didn’t know either, but my recounting of the story clearly helped in one way or another. I made my way to the cafeteria, but stopped short of entering,looking for something else.

And sure enough, I found her. Quietly, solemnly eating her lunch on her own, was May, shoulders hunched up, practically in a little ball. Sighing, I got up the courage to walk over to her and sit beside her.

“Hey,” I remarked as I slid down the wall, sitting down.

“Hey.” she softly replied. We sat in silence for a good ten minutes before I finally asked, “Shouldn’t you be packing to go home?”

“My mom is running late.” she timidly answered me.

“Ah.” I replied, not knowing what else to say.

May sighed. “I don’t blame you.” she told me.

“For what? I didn’t say anything other than the truth.” Open mouth, insert foot. I cringed as I realized what I was saying and who I was talking to. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” she replied.

“So, Phil got off free.” I remarked.

She shivered. “Yeah.”

“Now that it’s over, I want to hear it from you.” I told her. “Did Phil do what you said he did?”

She nodded quickly, tears forming in her eyes.

“I’m sorry.” I repeated, not knowing how to console her. I also still didn’t know who was lying. Both of them were sticking to their story, and given how radically different their stories were, it was clear that one of them was just a really good liar. “So what happens now?”

She shrugged. “I just carry on. Avoid Phil. I was thinking of getting transferred to a new school.”

“That’s pretty extreme.” I commented.

She shrugged. “I’ll give it a few more days then decide.”

“I’m sure you’ll make the right decision.” I said, wrapping one arm around her and kissing her forehead.

She gave me a weak smile then returned to her sandwich. “Is it okay if I want to be alone now?” She asked after a bit.

“Of course.” I assured her, starting to stand up. “If you ever need anything, you have my number.”

***

May was lying. I had no evidence, and I sure would never say that to her face, but I couldn’t help but feel it. Was I sure? Hell no. If I thought about it too much, I’m sure I would have dismissed the thought. But a little voice was telling me she was lying.

No, May’s response to the whole thing was real. Phil was lying. He got off scot-free. It was easy for him to deny it all and play the good guy. He already had issues with consent, and I knew that. Maybe he himself didn’t know what he was doing was wrong. Maybe his mind warped the situation and he thinks he’s this good guy when in reality…

I shook my head. This situation was going to drive me bananas. Speaking of, I picked up the peel and chucked it away, all done with my lunch. I got up from the table, told Carson goodbye, and started to trek down the hallway.

A familiar camera looped around a familiar neck caught my attention as I approached the main hallway. It was Nicole, but she wasn’t alone. She was talking to… someone. I barely recognized him, but I wasn’t sure where from. As I got closer and closer, it dawned on me that it was the guy I saw making out with a dude at the party. That said, had I not known that, I would not have guessed in a million years he was gay, aside from his flamboyant posture. His body language was telling me he was flirting with her, and her body language was telling me that he would have had better luck spelunking for a pigeon.

“It was really great to see you again at the party.” he told her, smiling, as I got close enough to hear their conversation.

“Yeah.” she simply replied, avoiding eye contact and brushing her hair out of her face.

“…Have you been doing well?” he continued, noting his lack of success.

“Sure have. So well. Welly well well.” Nicole replied with no emotion. “Put me in the ground and I’ll find so much groundwater.”

“Ha!” he over-enthusiastically laughed. “I miss your sense of humor.”

As I got closer, Nicole made eye contact with me and for a millisecond, I saw the cogs turning in her head. I was on to her.

“Well, it’s been great, but I need to jet.” Nicole told him. “I need to have a chat with Adam here. It’s about yearbook stuff. Super private.”

“Ah, right.” he replied, trying really hard to hide the dejected tone in his voice. “No problem, I had stuff to do anyway. Catch you later?” He waved to her as he began to walk off.

“Why not?” she replied as he walked away. She turned to me and gave a little smile. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” I replied. “So am I on yearbook team now?”

“You wish.” she told me. “I just needed an excuse to get away.”

“Yeah, he was coming on to you pretty strong.” I noted. “Is he bi or something? Is he single now that the party ended?”

“How should I know?” she shrugged, then snapped her fingers. “Oh, I did have something to tell you. I need to get somewhere right after school. Is it cool if you take the bus tonight?”

“Somehow I’ll manage.” I retorted.

“Well,” Nicole replied, flipping her hair dramatically, “excuse me for asking.”

“Where do you have to go?” I asked.

“If you thought I’d give you the answer, you’d know already.” she replied, winking at me.

She had me there. “Fine.” I huffed. “Enjoy your super secret whatever.”

“And enjoy being on a loser bus. Like a loser. Loser.” she replied.

“Good one.” I told her, rolling my eyes.

“What class do you have next?” she asked.

I sighed exasperatedly. She always did this, not out of curiosity, but to test me. Today of all days, I was too exhausted from the events that transpired during first period to think straight. “I don’t even remember.” I answered honestly. “Could you please tell me?”

“Only if you beg.” Nicole’s smile got larger.

“Grow up.” I whined.

“You grow up.” she countered. “I’m childish. You’re a child. There’s a difference.”

“Nicole, what’s my God damn class today?” I asked, borderline annoyed.

“Well, if you’re gonna pout about it…” she commented, smiling in victory. “History with Mr. Anton. If he’s sticking to the same schedule of my year, given the date, you should be in your World War Two unit, and today’s lesson will be on the difference between concentration camps and internment camps. Spoiler alert, the concentration camps were worse.”

George Takei would have some choice words for her. “Alright, thanks.” I told her with a smile.

She moved in for a hug. “You’re welcome, cutie.” she responded, giving me a quick peck on the cheek.

“Hey, not in public.” I teased her.

Nicole slowly lowered her eyebrow, gesturing around her. The hallway was, at this point, empty except for us. Lunch period was over.

“You might wanna hurry to class, squirt.” Nicole remarked dryly, kicking my behind softly as she sauntered away. “Don’t wanna be late.”

Shit. “Later!” I tossed behind my shoulder as I ran like an idiot to history.

***

“Thanks for coming to see me.” Mr. MacDonald greeted me as I entered the room.

“No worries.” I replied less-than-confidently as I took my seat.

“Your bus comes at 3:30, right?” he checked with me. “I’ll make this quick. I understand you were visiting Officer Dickson when you were supposed to be in the washroom?”

I was diligent. “I can’t say.” I replied solemnly.

He chuckled. “Well, first off, if you hadn’t, you would have just said ‘no.’ Second of all, you can drop the act. This ‘need to know’ crap was for the students. We as teachers have to know about what goes on with our students. You know, in case there’s tensions or something.”

His raspy voice rang through the room. “Basically, anything that’s important enough for one teacher to know about students, every teacher knows. It’s for your own safety.”

“Mr. Salvador once told me that teachers aren’t there to be the student’s friend.” I replied slowly.

He chuckled again. “First of all, I’m sure you noticed, Mr. Salvador is a bit of his own character. Second of all, though, he’s right.” He re-adjusted himself in his chair. “We’re not here to be your friends. But we are here to be someone to talk to. Friendships can create bias. Remember that assignment where we looked at the bias levels in U.N. decisions?”

I nodded.

“Those countries are friends. I mean, we’re not here to get close to you, but we’re here to be here for you. Plus, what would it look like if I was showing excess favor to you? ‘Nah, it’s fine, we’re friends.’ Except it’s not fine. And if I didn’t, you might take it personally.” He sat back, pointing to me and nodding slowly like he gave the best argument ever.

Every single person in my life was a god damn preacher. “So what’s your point?” I asked, eyeing the clock.

He blinked. “Oh, sorry. I got a little off topic there.” he told mostly himself. “My point is, I wanted to ask you something. Did you go to the washroom then happen to see it, or did you straight-up lie? I’m okay with either answer as long as it’s the truth.”

“Second one.” I admitted.

“Alright, cool.” he nodded, sitting back up. “Given what happened, I understand. I can’t tell you what their decision was but your recount helped if you can believe me. In the future though, if this sort of thing happens again, ask to talk to me in the hall or something. I mean, I’m not exactly a stiff.” He gestured to his beach-themed t-shirt, covering his paunch. “I can understand stuff. And I would have let you go.”

“Really?” I asked a little skeptically.

“Well, I may have asked a few questions then got Dickson to come up here, but then yeah, I would have. Again, we’re here for you.” He sat back again in his chair and stretched. “That’s time, isn’t it? Do you have any questions for me?”

I quickly glanced at the clock. “No, I’m good. No offense, but I should really catch the bus.”

“None taken.” He waved me off. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you.” I replied less-than-enthusiastically as I walked out of the room.

It was occurring to me that in my daily life I was seeing some serious shit, and the only way people seemed to know how to respond to that was to lecture me. It was getting annoying.

***

The grinding sound of bus tires on suburban underdeveloped roads filled my ears as a million thoughts of nothing whirled around in my head. The whole thing was so unsatisfying. I didn’t know who lied. I may never know. Both were upset. Both were upset at each other, and it looked like neither of them were leaving my life at all. I mean, both of them were my friends… right? May seemed like my friend, although she blackmailed me. But that was in the past. Phil seemed like my friend too… although he threatened me… but that was in the past too…

Nothing. The whole situation was a pudding. And not like those nice puddings made of chocolate and happiness. The lumpy kind that make you question everything and not move from the couch. The kind that taste like their texture but nothing else. I felt like I had a problem, but everything was resolved. Well, ‘resolved.’

Luckily for me, I had a long amount of time to think about the nothing. By the time I got home, I had practically become the pudding of bleh. Still, the situation was behind me, for better or for worse. Time would take over from here and things would slowly get back to normal, the normal I missed and craved.

I gave a sideways glance to Nicole’s house and smiled to myself. Her car was in the driveway. Her errands were over and she was home. Maybe after unwinding at home I could go over to her place and talk to her about it.

A flash of her expression as she found out what happened played in my mind. Okay, talking to her about Phil’s alleged sexual assault was a terrible idea. Still, I could talk to her. I enjoyed talking to her. I liked her. A lot.

“I’m home!” I called out to mom as I shut the door behind me. I kicked off my shoes and wandered into the kitchen, where I could hear a voice.

No. Voices. There were multiple people in the kitchen. As I walked in, I saw Nicole sitting down at the kitchen table, talking to my mom. She turned to face me. “Oh, hey squirt.” she said casually.

“Uh…” I managed in response.

She chuckled warmly. “Don’t worry. I told your mom everything. Everything.” she assured me.

On cue, mom got up from the table and walked over to me, enveloping me in a tight hug. “Oh, sweetie.” she assured me in her most motherly voice. “You didn’t need to lie to us about that. We’re perfectly okay knowing the truth.”

Too shocked by everything ever to even hug my mom back, the only response I could manage was “What?” in a stupidly high voice.

“I told Marcia it all.” Nicole restated. “About how I borderline forced you into trying weed, how you didn’t like it, and how you blamed yourself. I know you already said sorry but I figure your parents deserved to know why you were acting weird for that little bit.

My mom was still hugging me so she couldn’t see my face. I took the opportunity to mouth to Nicole, Why would you lie to my parents? Don’t you think this will make stuff worse? Given Nicole could do literally everything ever I figured she could read lips.

She could. Without missing a beat, she shrugged and mouthed her response. It was at this point that I clued into the fact that unlike her, my ability to read lips wasn’t stellar. I think she may have said ‘yellow potatoes’ at one point though.

My mom broke off from the hug. “I’m going to call your father and talk it through with him, though I’m sure he’ll understand. Both of us know that you try things when you’re a teenager. You didn’t have to blame yourself for this, honey.”

“Well, who else can I blame for this whole situation?” I asked, shooting a lightning-fast look of death at Nicole afterwards.

Mom understood the question was rhetorical and picked up the phone. “Do you want to be down here while we talk about this, or do you want to be away from it?”

Nicole, of fucking course, assumed that she could answer the question as herself. “Well, if you don’t mind, I’m going up to Adam’s room for now. I can either talk to him about this now while you and – it’s Timothy, right? – talk this over. I know he’s a bit shy. Or I can wait for him. It’s your call, squirt.” She waited until I was looking at her dead in the eyes before finishing with a, “Bye!” and starting to bolt up the stairs. She stopped just as mom held the phone up to her ear and added, “Oh, and I’ll be true to my word, Mrs. Watson. No more weed or any shenanigans. Thanks for giving me a second chance, it means the world.” She smiled warmly at her, then continued her sprint up the stairs.

I whined incoherently, looking from mom back up to the top of the stairs back to mom again, before pointing at the stairs and telling mom, “I think I wanna stay out of this.” Mom gave me a sympathetic nod as I could out of that situation as fast as I fucking could.

My confusion turning to anger, I ran up to my door and opened it forcefully. “What the hell we-”

The room, which just this morning was akin to a garbage dump, was now spotless. On my neatly-made bet sat Nicole, reading one of my books, No Coins, Please. It looked like she was near the ending. Her eyes looked more like she was watching a tennis match than reading a book.

“Do you have an ability to warp time or something?!” I asked exasperatedly. “I was a few seconds behind you.”

“You were about 12.3.” Nicole mumbled, flipping the page for about the second time since I walked in.

I shut the door behind me. “Okay, so what the hell was with the great lie you told mom?”

“You asked for a solution, and I gave you one.” Nicole told me, not taking her eyes off the book. “It’s clever, if I may say so. It justifies your behavior, can be adequately changed to fit the specifics since it’s clear as day your parents know as much about weed as they do tax law, and gives them a reason to confirm their suspicions that I’m shady but not hate me, since they think that getting you to try weed once is a less serious offense than giving you a sexual awakening. Though I bet you were lusting after May before you even met me.” She took her eyes off the book, winked at me, then turned back as she flipped the page. “Plus, I’ve got them sniffing down the wrong trail, literally. They think they know what weed smells like, so I told you that’s the indicator if I’m lying. They told me they’re going to hide the air fresheners, not like you use them though. It wouldn’t kill you to put up a Glade Plug-in or something. Basically they’re waiting on a smell that would occur if I lied, and never will because you don’t smoke weed and won’t this year.”

“What if I start?” I asked.

“Weren’t you paying attention? You won’t.” Nicole retorted half-heartedly, nose still in the book.

“Could you at least pay attention to me when talking to me? Reading the book and carrying on a conversation is a little condescending.”

“Fair.” she replied, turning the page and pausing about seven second before closing the book. “The ending was stupid anyway. Airport security is in no way as simple as that.”

I stared incredulously at her. There’s no way someone could pick up that detail unless they read the book. “Did you seriously read the whole book while you were here?” I asked her.

“I could have taken my time with it if you hadn’t made me put it down.” She lazily stretched. “You never thank me for cleaning your room either.”

“Well, I can never find anything in my dresser now. You organized it a different way.” I defended myself.

Nicole nodded. “And I put labels on all of your drawers. You just never noticed them.” she replied. “You’re used to opening drawers and finding stuff in that mess you call a ‘different way.’”

“I noticed the labels.” I huffed. Instantly, my world went black. Nicole covered my eyes.

“Name the top label.” she ordered me.

“You’re putting me on the spot.”

“Okay, name the next one.”

“This is a lot of pressure.”

“Name any label I put on your dresser, Adam.”

“You suck, you know that?”

“Only the lucky ones.” she giggled as she lifted her hands away from me.

“Speaking of, if my parents are sniffing around, won’t they catch the smell of sex?” I asked her.

“Most likely not.” Nicole answered, getting up, wandering to one of my shelves and fiddling with something she found on it. “I’m not exactly pungent down there, and neither are you. Sex smell boils down to the smell of your sex stuff and sweat. With us particularly it’s predominantly sweat. Even if there’s sex stuff in the air if the mind is trained to look for something, it’ll find it.”

I scratched my head, looking out the window. “I don’t get it.”

“I outlined that when we weren’t up here trying out pot, we were gaming or hanging out or doing homework or, most importantly, karate. Karate is a physical activity. It makes you sweat. Given no smell of pot will occur if I train your parents to smell for sweat when we’re working out, they’ll smell it even if they’re trying to catch us.”

I chuckled. “That sounds like a really weak plan.” I said honestly.

“Yeah, it’s not my best ever, but I’m working out the details.” she agreed.

“So what, if they knock on the door we instantly start making karate shout-y noises?” I asked jokingly.

“They’re called kiais, Jackie Chan.” Nicole sarcastically retorted. I whipped my head back to her, about to spout some sarcasm of my own, when I noticed she had my model train’s engine upside down in her right hand. Her left hand was fiddling with it. She looked up at me with a neutral face. “Also, I just fixed your toy train.”

“Nicole, that thing hasn’t worked since I was twelve.” I skeptically replied.

“Yes, and now it does. Because I fixed it.” she forcefully told me. She put the engine on the floor, grabbed some train track parts from the shelf, and quickly attached them. She set them down on the ground, put my engine on top of them, then turned it on. Slowly but surely, the engine started to come to life, traveling along the tracks until they ended and the engine fell off, later to be scooped up by Nicole and turned off.

Part of me was deeply moved. My toy train was an important part of my childhood, of me. Whenever anything was going wrong, whenever I had a bad day or my parents were fighting or something, I would turn on my toy train, tune out the outside world and my troubles would melt away. I can’t count the number of hours I played with it. It practically resembled my innocence. And now Nicole just brought it back. But another part of me was kind of scared.

“Nicole, how do you do all this?” I asked her, somewhat fearfully.

“Do what?”

“The impressions, the fast reading, the cleaning. You know more about tax law than Timothy Geithner. You just fixed in a minute something my dad told me was impossible to fix, without any tools. You can drive with your fucking eyes closed. Plus, I heard about that picture of lightning above Hazelwood you took for yearbook last year. According to Eli you only needed to take one picture.”

“Jeez, you really won’t let this go, will you?” she asked me disappointedly.

“You’re like some kind of superhero. Or supervillain.” I added.

Her look turned into a grin. “Maybe I am.” she told me. The grin faded as I stared expectantly at her. “Someday, okay? Not today, but someday.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” I warned her.

“Deal.” She told me, dropping off the engine and coming closer to me. She flopped down on the bed, and I followed suit. In what felt like a few seconds time, we were spooning, and pretty soon, I was kissing her neck.

“Well, hello.” Nicole dryly commented. “Looks like someone wants to try that sweat theory on for size.”

“Do I really smell like nothing down there?” I asked her.

She laughed. “Let me just put it like this, squirt – personal hygiene goes a long way.” She adjusted herself so that she was facing me, then gave me a slow, deep kiss. “This time though, no domination play. I want to enjoy you for you.”

“Only if you let me enjoy you for you too.” I smiled.

“Deal.” she smiled back, and kissed me deeply once again. After the kiss, we kissed once more, and then again. Our mouths opened as her arms became tighter around me, passion building up within her. Her tongue wrestled with mine as our hands explored each other like long-lost lovers, even though it had only been two days.

Eventually, Nicole had enough of the kissing stage and wanted to move on. She broke off the kiss with me, giving me her signature seductive sly smile as she removed her shirt.

No bra today. Nice. Her beautiful breasts, big and beautiful, bounced up to look at me in the face. Either she was easily excited or had been anticipating this, because her nipples were clearly and delightfully erect.

I couldn’t resist, nonetheless, making a snarky remark. “So, is today one of those days when me kissing your boobs doesn’t feel like much?” I asked sarcastically.

“You’re getting better at it, so shut up and lick.” Nicole ordered, coaxing me by placing one of her hands on the back of my head, but not pulling me. I liked the way she did that. I moved forward, kissing outside her areolae at first, moving in closer and closer until I got to my target, which I at first kissed agonizingly slowly. Her nipples only got impossibly harder, a fact I enjoyed. After the kissing and teasing had clearly gotten its intended effect, I launched into her boob, hungrily sucking on her beautiful erect nipple. It felt good in my mouth. It felt very right. I couldn’t resist running my hands up and down her body as she made me feel good just by allowing her pleasure.

I looked up at her face and her expression mirrored her body language. Her eyes were adorably closed and her mouth was somewhat open, adorably curved into some kind of half-smile. She was making soft noises of approval as I sucked, only to be stopped as I moved breasts, ready to make the other one feel just as good.

As I was doing this, Nicole was working both her pants (and whatever was underneath) and mine off, and because she was freaking Nicole, she somehow succeeded. I pulled my mouth away from her breast to see she had shaved again, and her cute enlarged clit was staring me straight in the face.

I smiled up at her, ready to dive in, when she stopped me, a smile painted on her hormonally charged face. “I don’t think so, hotshot. Not today.” she told me breathily.

“Don’t you want this?” I asked her, half teasing, half concerned.

“Not today. Today, I’m craving your dick in my mouth.” she answered with a serious expression.

“Well then, why don’t we sixty-nine?” I asked her.

She cocked an eyebrow. “Why don’t we.” she seductively commented as she pushed me over onto the bed. At this point I was still wearing my shirt so I was feeling a little silly, but I sure as well wasn’t going to let that stop me.

Nicole seductively crawled on top of me, practically purring as she approached my dick. She gave it a generous lick. “It looks as fucking good as I remember.” she remarked out loud, mostly to herself.

“Well then why aren’t you digging in?” I asked her jokingly.

“Because if I don’t work out the angle perfectly you’re going to suffocate as you eat me out, squirt. That’s why.” she responded.

“I wouldn’t mind dying that way.” I replied dryly. She ignored me and placed herself down gently in a way where my tongue has complete access to her gorgeous pussy, but my nose was still above it so I could comfortably breathe.

“You alright?” she asked me.

“I’m in fucking heaven.” I replied without thinking, giving my first lick.

She gave a soft chuckle then began to lick me, at first teasingly. However, I couldn’t wait and began going at it, my tongue alternating between licking away at her folds and lightly teasing her clit. This began feeding her hormonal frenzy and before long she couldn’t take it anymore. At first she accidentally let out a loud moan while licking me, then with a clear passion she took me into her mouth and started sucking me off as she affectionately rubbed my slightly toned side.

Her reactions were feeding my lust, too. I began grabbing her ass with both hands, kneading the handfuls and occasionally giving her ass a spank, which she always rewarded with a slight moan, muffled on my cock. It was like every time her lips made contact with my cock it sent this electric wave through me, ending at my mouth, giving me more energy to lick deeper or hit the right spots, giving her the energy to start the whole process again. We were two very horny teenagers, who were very much entangled with each other.

Eventually, Nicole lifted up her head. “Stuh… stop.” she begged breathlessly. I was in some kind of groove, and found it difficult to stop easily, so out of habit I continued. “Oh my god…” she panted. “Oh fuck… A-Adam…” She started grinding her pussy into my face, enjoying this clearly as much as I was. “You’re so fuckin’ good… Buh… but stop… I want you inside me right now… I need it… please…”

I wanted it too. I stopped for as long as I could, which gave Nicole the opportunity to weakly get off me and position herself on the bed. I got up and looked at her. Eyes glazed over with lust, breathing heavily, nipples erect, a little bit of drool on her chin, legs spread, pussy wet and waiting. She looked so sexy, and yet so beautiful at the same time. She was like a Renaissance painting, but better. Better looking. And she was all mine.

“Adam… I want you in me… Take me.” she breathlessly ordered. My dick jumped at the command, and with a confident smile on my face, I got up on top of her and aligned my dick with her.

I nodded at her, and she nodded back, a smile forming on her face. Slowly, my dick snuck into her, filling her and sending a visible shockwave through her. “Yesssssss…” she hissed. “I love this feeling.” She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in close, sending the rest of my dick to suddenly fill her and capturing a small gasp from her.

“Go. Please.” she begged in that voice I always recognized when her lust took over. Who was I to argue? Slowly and lovingly at first, planting little kisses on her face, I began to pick up speed, going from slow love-making to drilling her, and watching her enjoy every second of it. I had to control myself slightly to avoid the slapping sounds of our bodies coming together, but it was still a fairly fast pace. Nicole, caught up in the sheer pleasure of it all, started lunging forward, kissing then lightly biting my neck, raking her nails down my back, trying to be cautious of the damage that could cause. It all felt amazing. I felt so happy. My body felt like it was moving on its own, and the sight of Nicole bouncing back and forth, her amazing large breasts moving along with her, her flawless skin both lovely to the eye and wonderful to touch, just made me want her more. I wanted to be like this forever with her. I wanted to feel like this always. I wanted more. I wanted to drill farther into her, make her moan my name to the stars, and see nothing but shimmering light as she climaxed, thinking of me.

Sure enough, her breathing got short and shrill after a short enough time, and she was moaning my name in short breaths. I couldn’t focus, but I think I was moaning hers too. I was too focused on what we had in this moment, with me buried inside of her, thrusting back and forth, to think of anything else.

In the end, I was the one to cum first. I had collapsed on top of her, but was still pumping away, aware I was starting without her but still wanting her to enjoy this as much as I was. About three spurts into it, my wish came true as her whole body stiffened then was enveloped in light as she accepted my gift of seed in pure bliss. We were entangled in this bliss for about thirty seconds before my collapse was fully evident as I lay on top of her.

“Holy shit,” she panted. “That was like our best one yet.”

Through my panting I chuckled. “I can’t tell. You’re getting less vocal.”

“I was too fucking enthralled to even speak, stud.” she replied, giving me a gentle kiss on the cheek. “You were amazing.”

“You were delightful.” I warmly responded. We lay there for a few minutes, enjoying the moment, each other’s company and the closeness of me being so close to her, until I slowly moved, already ninety percent outside of her, and flopped over beside her. I stared out the window for about ten seconds then whipped my head back to her. She was looking at the ceiling, but then at me in confusion.

“Sorry, I thought you were going to do a fast change again.” I remarked.

She chuckled. “Sorry, squirt, I can barely feel my fucking legs. I may have to do it at your speed today.”

“Aw, you have to be like the rest of us peasants.” I teased.

“I’ll manage.” she responded in turn. “Actually, I might need to go to the washroom.”

“You were holding something in as we did it?!” I asked. “You could have said something.”

“No, dummy.” she shot back, getting up and putting her underwear back on. “I just meant my mint water is in there.”

“You and your traditions.” I laughed. She responded by throwing my underwear in my face.

“I’ll be in the washroom for a little bit.” she told me as she put her pants on.

“Why?” I asked, starting to put my own clothes on reluctantly.

“Nervousness.” she simply stated. “I left you something on the computer to read. I recommend you look it over.” With that, she put on her shirt and left without another word, without even allowing me to respond.

I blinked twice, then finished getting dressed, the open door unnerving me. I walked over to my computer and shook the mouse to get the screen to turn on. It’s impressive that Nicole figured I wouldn’t have seen this when I came in, but I guess like Jigsaw, she was good at anticipating the human mind. It was a word document she had typed out for me.

Hey Squirt.

I’m typing this as you’re downstairs with your mom. I hope that’s cool. You should really make a more obscure password. I’m sorry for lying about the situation to your parents. I hope this makes your home life more bearable. I’m only trying to make you happy. <3

If you’re reading this, we just had sex. My guess is good sex, but if it’s bad sex that has nothing to do with what I’m going to say. You were right when you said that none of your problems would have happened if I hadn’t shown up. I have a tendency to fuck up a lot of stuff, you know. I blame myself for a lot of shit. I let people walk all over me. Yet I’m a stubborn jerk. I sometimes make the wrong decisions. I sometimes even think I was the reason Mitch died.

Enough about that shit though. The point was, yeah you were right. I love the sex life we have but it was stupid to try to force you into a sexual awakening. Without me, you’d be every other teenager, and if you’re anything like me, you kind of wish for that. I’m not sure I can forgive myself for taking that away from you. Now you’ve got drama and it’s bleeding into your home life. That’s not okay. I want to make sure that this doesn’t continue to interfere with your life and your happiness, which is why I made up the weed story. It gives an excuse and makes your folks happy with you again. Hopefully all that other shit with people like Megan can calm down too if you’re smart about it. But… there’s another part of this plan. Warping your mind with sex got you into all this drama shit, so if I want to make you happy again, I want to take away any chance of anything interfering with it again.

I love having sex with you. It’s great, you’re great at it, and let’s face it, I’m good at it. Plus, I feel something with you. You know this. But, I have to let all that go. Your happiness as a friend means more than this to me. This is why I wanted our time here to be so special, and I’m sure you made this sex the best thing ever, and me the happiest girl in the world. But I need to not be so selfish. I think we should stop having sex from here on in.

Sorry.

Chapter Fourteen

“If you ask me, May did it.” I snarled to myself. “That’s what I think.”

“And do you always have this hunch, or do you go back and forth?” Salvador asked me.

I grunted annoyedly. “Yeah, okay, but I think May did it the most.”

“The most?” Salvador asked me. “That creates a bit of a victim-blaming atmosphere, don’t you think?”

“How do you figure?” I asked him.

“If May is innocent, she came up to you telling you about a personal violation, that she was sexually assaulted. And you immediately cast doubt on her. It’s not very fair to her.”

“No shit it’s not fair to her, but don’t you remember what she did to me at that party?!” I waved my arms around as I asked him. “She was May enough and Phil enough for both of us that day. I think I have a valid enough reason not to trust her.”

“Yes, I remember that.” Salvador commented, taking off his glasses and cleaning them. “You really need to stop telling me things that can get me fired.” He added humorously.

“So what’s this week’s life lesson then?” I asked. “Do I read people wrong? Am I not patient enough? Or do I just ‘not get it’ and need to rethink how I approach my own life?”

“You seem tightly wound today.” Salvador remarked, putting his glasses back on. “Is it because of the party’s fallout?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. I feel frustrated.”

“Why?”

I sighed. “It’s a long story.”

Salvador didn’t blink. He just stared at me expectantly. “What?” I finally asked, a little weirded out.

“I’ve never forced you to say anything.” Salvador began to explain.

“Except the fight thing.” I interrupted. He lowered an eyebrow for a microsecond, indicating to me that I wasn’t supposed to bring it up.

“I’ve never forced you to say anything.” he calmly repeated. “It’s your choice as to whether you want to tell me or walk out. Either way is fine by me. This is for your benefit.”

“Quit being such a… teacher.” I jokingly complained. He didn’t laugh, giving me the silence I dreaded. “Nicole and I aren’t having sex anymore.”

“Oh.” Salvador simply responded with a moderate amount of happy interest in his voice. “Good.”

“Good?” I asked him.

“You’re being led down a path I wouldn’t recommend for you. Especially if you already feel the need to have these meetings.” Salvador explained. “You’ve broken down twice during these. It’s going to get to the point where I ignore your requests and sign you up for a professional counsellor if I don’t start seeing improvement.”

I chuckled sadly. “The best thing to ever happen to me is coming to an end. I’m not crying. Is that improvement?”

A flare of slight anger flashed over Salvador’s face. It wasn’t active anger, more like clear disappointment. “Getting to have sex with Nicole was the best thing to happen to you?” he asked, his voice a mix of exasperation and disappointment.

“No, of course not!” I immediately backtracked. “But it was a pretty important thing. It meant a lot to me. I’m trusting my feelings. Didn’t you tell me that?”

Salvador waved his hands in front of me, trying to collect his thoughts. “Just a second.” he told me forcefully. “Getting to have sex with Nicole was the best thing to happen to you? Getting to have sex with her? Not getting to meet her? Not the endless hours you’ve spent together? Not her helping you get over your insecurities, helping you up after your fights, caring about you?”

I nervously looked to the floor. “Okay, maybe I worded that wrong.” I awkwardly admitted.

Salvador nodded with a serious expression. “Maybe you did. I sure hope you didn’t say that because you actually believe it.”

“Of course I don’t!” I defended myself, rebutted by silence. “What, you think I just see her as, like, a convenience or a walking sex object?

“Don’t take it personally but it wouldn’t surprise me.” Salvador told me with a tired sigh. “I’ve been a teacher for a good few years now. I’m not stupid. I know teenagers have sex.” He paused. “Every teacher does. The trouble is, we need to address that with our students without grossing them out, crossing any boundaries, or making them uncomfortable. I’m sure you understand.”

I nodded.

“In your case, I can just tell you though – casual sex is not your friend.”

“Yeah, yeah, STDs and all that.” I replied for him.

He raised an eyebrow. “No, that wasn’t what I was going to say at all.” he told me. “Let me tell you first before you think for me. If you could know what I was about to say before I said it, this whole thing would be a waste of time.” I, chastised, hung my head as he cleared his throat and continued. “Casual sex is a bad thing. It devalues emotional connection. It warps your mind. It makes you emotionally hardened. Over time, you might completely separate sex and love, or find it more difficult to love. You may experience emotional extremes, like depression. You may lose your motivation.”

Still hanging my head, I scoffed.

“Go ahead and laugh but I’ve seen it happen time and time again.” he pointed out.

“Nicole sleeps around and she’s still very motivated.” I retaliated.

He laughed. “Nicole is also a Gifted Program student.” he argued.

“Oh, booga booga. So what if she was a little smarter?” I argued back, jealousy providing some fuel for a slight hint of anger in my tone.

“This isn’t just ‘a little smarter.’” he informed me. “Dr. Young’s Gifted Program isn’t just for slightly smarter kids. He hand-picks his students. All of them could show to up to your exams having read over nothing but the course outlines and outperform you.”

“So Nicole is super smart.” I concluded.

Salvador nodded. “She’s super smart and knows it. That drives her forward. She also likes the attention she gets from it.”

“Well, she is the youngest child in her family.” I remarked, mostly to myself.

Salvador’s eyebrows shot up in slight surprise. “Very good.” he murmured to me as he pointed at me, then continued. “None of the teachers here could tell you how she does it, but Nicole manages to stay motivated despite knowing more than a lot of her teachers.”

“Wouldn’t that make her a little egotistical?” I asked him.

He chuckled. “Have you met her?” he asked me. “Well, naturally, we don’t tell her that she’s smarter than us, at least academically speaking. Like I said, teachers are the authority. She also does a good job of understanding when to not be… bold.”

“She’s the boldest girl on the fucking planet.” I mumbled.

“Easy on the swearing.” Salvador ordered, then looked at me for a bit. “She means a lot to you.”

I nodded. “I feel guilty as shi- sorry, guilty as sin for saying the sex is what meant something to me.”

“Do you feel an emotional connection?” he asked me.

I nodded again. “I think so. I’m pretty sure. We held hands once. She never does that.” My tone came across as slightly flustered.

“Remember how I told you that casual sex makes you feel less?” he asked. I nodded. “Then I’ll ask you again. Do you feel an emotional connection?”

It must have taken guts for the drama teacher to ask the freshman about his sex life. “I… think so.” I answered slowly. “What, are you gonna condone my sex life as long as it has some kind of connection?”

“Well, I don’t need to. It’s over.” Salvador pointed out. “Plus, it’s a good opportunity to see whether your friendship can even still work if you don’t have sex. I still believe that casual sex could warp you, Adam. Neither you nor I want that to happen to you.”

“We didn’t have sex when she was with Phil.” I pointed out.

“You were still having sex with Megan.” he rebutted. “Most students, to my knowledge, don’t have sex until long after you did. Not to mention, Nicole is bold, as you alluded. And she can be a little…” he paused, thinking to himself. “…destructive.”

“Destructive?!” I asked incredulously.

“I remember word-for-word your original encounter with her. Did you really think that was normal in high school?” he asked me.

I thought to myself for a minute. “I guess not.” I concluded.

“It was a completely untraditional introduction to sex. You’ve managed to find three rare outliers of sexual encounters. And it’s very possible in the case of Megan that you caused one.” he explained. “One thing I hope you take from this is that you’re a special case. This isn’t how sex works in the real world.”

“But we are in the real world.” I argued. “Yeah, you can say this isn’t how sex stuff works, but that’s how it’s always worked for me. Maybe it will always work this way. What if I marry Nicole or Megan or something?”

Salvador’s eyes danced in humorous delight. “Not May?” he asked as if we were sharing a joke.

“I…” I started. I didn’t know what to think of her. She was in a limbo state of a bitch and a weird pseudo-friend in my mind at this point. I sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Do you think you’d still have a crush on her if you hadn’t had sex at this point?” he asked calmly.

“Well, probably, but…” I started without thinking, then paused in my tracks. My mouth froze as I looked over at Salvador. He was half-smiling expectantly. This whole conversation was leading up to that. Sex redefined how I saw her. Everything started to click. Sex redefined how May saw me too. How Nicole saw me. How I saw Nicole. How Megan saw me, how Megan saw Carter. I was shocked less and less every day by Carter’s actions. This whole thing, which started out as a wholly emotional crush on May, led to sex that delegitimized my feelings for her.

“Am I a bad person?” I asked Salvador in a small voice.

“No.” he answered simply. “I’m just glad you have enough self-awareness to realize what you just said.”

“Yeah, I get it. I had sex with her and the feelings were cheapened.” I looked at him to find that expectant expression, then scoffed. “Because I didn’t feel an emotional connection.”

“Good.” Salvador replied, obviously referring to my understanding and not what I did.

“But wait a sec.” I quickly followed up. “I only had a physical crush on Nicole but now I have a full crush on her. Hell, I’m sure of it. There’s an emotional connection. What does that mean?”

Salvador shrugged. “I don’t know.” he said as if it were an important point. “Perhaps it’s something significant. Maybe you two connect. Just understand that the sex didn’t cause it.”

“Well we wouldn’t have talked more than once if it weren’t for the sex.” I pointed out.

“Adam, you yourself told me she has sex with everyone.” he retorted. “Does she have a strong connection with everyone?”

“Point taken.” I admitted. “So how do I go forward from here?”

“How?” he asked. “You’re going to keep on living no matter what happens. I can’t tell you how to live.”

“I suppose but I come here for your damn advice, not for the rhetorical stuff.” I pointed out. “It doesn’t help me when you say you don’t know.”

“You’re entitled to think that.” Salvador replied. “But you don’t have my brain. You’re an individual, growing up and becoming an adult. You need to learn to make decisions, and you need to know from experience which ones are the right ones.”

“Like going to theatre school in Paris?” I asked dryly.

He chuckled, then thought to himself for a bit. “If you want advice, here’s something for you. I want you to challenge yourself. Don’t have any sex unless you feel genuine love. Go slow. Be conscious of who you’re sharing your sex with. As a teacher I need to ask you to stop having sex altogether but as a person I know you won’t, so this is the next best thing. Only have sex if you feel love. Share sex, don’t take it. Be honest with me every time it happens, and your life will turn out better, more drama-free and you’ll learn to value people better.”

“How are you single?” I joked.

With only a slight smile, he shrugged. “These meetings aren’t about my personal life, Adam.”

“Right.” My smile faded as I stood up. Hell of a note to end it on. “Thanks again.”

“You’re welcome.” he replied as he pulled out some papers from his desk, ready to go back to work.

“Oh, wait.” I snapped my fingers as I slung my backpack over my shoulder. “Quick question. Nicole’s super smart, right?”

“Yes.” Salvador agreed, half in confusion as to where this was going.

“Is she like super fast too?” I asked. His look of confusion got bigger. “Like, can she do normal tasks like reading books and cleaning rooms and dressing faster than normal people?”

His look of confusion didn’t decay. “Being smart doesn’t help with how fast you clean rooms.” he concluded as if it were obvious. “I mean maybe you’ve memorized where everything goes but your actual speed wouldn’t increase. It definitely wouldn’t impact how quickly you dress. And reading books too quickly, no matter how smart you are, just makes one retain less of the book. The smartest people read the slowest. Why?”

“Nicole is just fast at that.” I worded that one awkwardly.

“I see.” Salvador replied, somewhere between confused and uninterested.

“I realize it’s a weird question out of the blue. I just wanted to know if you could shed any light.”

Salvador was already looking down at some assignment he was marking. “I understand.” he simply replied.

Well, I wasn’t going to get any more out of him at this point. “See you later!” I tossed over my back as I left. In his signature fashion, Salvador didn’t respond.

***

“Alright, is there anything else we have to cover today?” Phil’s lifeless voice, an unusual change from past months but a fitting change from a few weeks ago, asked the room. No one responded, coating the room in a tense silence. “Great, then that’s the meeting.” Lazily, Phil extended his arm outwards and made a shooing motion. “Get outta here.”

People began to fill out of the room, one by one. I was collecting my things, eyeing Phil as I saw Jeff, his VP, walk up to him and clap a hand on his back.

“You doing alright?” he asked him, trying to play off his concern as coolly as possible.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Phil mumbled back. “Just outta energy.”

“Bro, you can’t be out of energy forever.” Jeff protested. “It’s starting to interfere with your job.”

Phil shrugged. “Then you take over.” he suggested.

“Buddy.” Jeff told him in a disappointed tone. “You can’t just shut down like this. I get May was a real bitch to ya, but come on.”

Phil waved a hand dismissively in his face. “It’s all in the past, man. Forget it.”

“No, really.” Jeff continued, making me give a concerned look Nicole’s way. “I think that decision was too rough on ya. If May was lying, they shoulda made an example out of that bitch. Expel her. Maybe threaten her with her own criminal record or some shit. Slander or something.”

“Ex-cuse me?” A short squat blonde-haired girl I still didn’t know the name of piped up, standing up. “We don’t even have any evidence she was guilty. How are you so sure Phil didn’t do it?”

“Got something to say, Tina?” Jeff challenged her. “You think your own fucking president would do that?” He hopped over a desk so he could face her without any obstructions in the way.

While this was happening, Phil raked his fingers over his face. “Jesus fuckin…” he trailed off. The duo had devolved into a shouting match as he hopped off the table and started to walk out of the room.

“You can’t leave the room before the rest of the council members.” Nicole reminded him, still seated, not looking him in the eye.

Phil groaned quietly. “I’m not leaving, I’m just going for a talk with…” His eyes scanned the room. “…Adam.”

“Huh?” I snapped to attention.

“I need to talk to you, dude.” he replied.

“What about?”

“Council stuff. Now hurry up.” he motioned to me with little patience. Wordlessly, I followed him out the door. He waited at the doorframe for me, then shut the door afterwards, following up with a large sigh as he began walking.

We walked for about ten seconds without a word, then he sighed again. “This is exactly what I was talking about man. Exactly what I was fucking talking about.” He stopped and turned to face me. “Fuckin’ reputation. To them, it doesn’t even matter if I did it. You plant the seed, you reap the fuckin’ harvest.”

I didn’t say anything. I felt like I wasn’t there to talk. After a few more seconds, we silently decided to keep walking.

“The fuck am I talking about? I didn’t plant the seed at all.” he complained, really just to himself at this point. “You know, sometimes I get called a dick for being mean, or authoritative, or whatever. But the truth is you gotta be like that. The moment I let my guard down someone fucked me up and suddenly, boom.” He motioned outwards with his hands. “Look what happened. Look what fucking happened.”

“At least you didn’t get expelled.” I quietly pointed out.

“Might as well have been.” he sadly chuckled. “This isn’t even the half of it. You see the meeting and you think, ‘Oh, that’s Phil’s life now.’ It’s fucking not. This is a taste. You go through classes assuming I go through them the same way, but now teachers talk more slowly when they talk to me, people don’t want to sit next to me, and shit, some of these cats don’t even think I did it. They just don’t want their own reputations to suffer by sitting next to the ‘rapist.’ They don’t want to be me.” He gave another sad chuckle. “I don’t want to be me either.”

I didn’t respond as he cleared his throat, trying to cover up any quivering his voice was doing. “Y’know, I wouldn’t even be fuckin’ surprised if no one actually believes I did it. But they all are so fuckin’ worried about losing their own reputations. If life were a shitty little high school movie I wouldn’t be worried because some freshman bitty with a crush on me would make a petition or a hashtag or whatever. ‘I believe in Phil Love.’ It’s not gonna fuckin’ end that way, man. It’s just not. I haven’t even gotten like half of my college applications back yet. They’re just gonna be fuckin’ ‘denied’ at this point.” He was, at this point, struggling to hold back tears, even though he was succeeding.

“Well, hopefully people will forget.” I offered in a small voice. “Give them time, and they’ll stop treating you this way.”

“Time? How much time do you think I have?” he blurted out. “It’s spring, dude. People aren’t going to forget. Even if I had years it doesn’t fucking matter. When people see this face, they’ll think of it. I’ll still be around, so people are always going to be reminded, my face, of… of what I didn’t do. The whole thing is fucked up. If this whole thing was just kept quiet and handled by the police, everything would have been fine. I fucking hate the students here.”

He angrily punched a wall weakly at just stood there for a while, drinking in the silence of the hallway. He broke it with his sigh.

“I’m sorry I got the council worked up about your blowjob thing with Megan.” he finally said. “It wasn’t cool of me.”

“It’s fine.” I said meekly, partially out of intimidation from being around a sadder Phil. “Besides, if you didn’t, I’m sure someone else would have.”

He looked away from the wall to face me, right in the eyes. Eventually he broke out into a sad smile and gave a low chuckle, the kind of chuckle you give when you can’t be bothered to care about the world anymore.

“Ain’t that the truth.” he replied in a gravelly voice. Slowly, he started to walk back towards the council room. “Come on.” he ordered.

We walked back in silence to a council room filled only with Jeff and Nicole, the latter of whom sitting with arms akimbo on a desk. “Where were you two?” she asked.

“In the hallway.” Phil answered in a tired voice.

“..Doing what?” Nicole pressured, making the ‘go on’ gesture with her hands.

Phil looked at her, clearly irritated. “Just talking.” he answered annoyedly. “C’mon, everyone. Get the fuck out of here.”

Jeff sighed loudly as he packed up his stuff and made his exit. Nicole soon followed, a look of curiosity on her face and a camera around her neck. “Bye, Phil.” she said with no emotion as she left, grabbing me by the shirt and tugging me along.

“So what the fuck crawled up Phil’s ass, laid eggs and died?” she asked me.

I really didn’t want to be directly involved more than I already was. “Don’t look at me.” I replied.

“Right. You only talked to him.” she replied, rolling her eyes. “I’m not stupid, squirt.”

“He’s just upset with the whole party thing.” I admitted in a small voice.

Nicole kept walking, determined not to let anything from her inner reaction show. “Mmm.” she lazily replied.

“You okay?” I asked.

She stopped walking to face me with half-closed eyes and one lowered eyebrow. “Not everything I do is melodramatic you big dumbo.” she told me.

“At least you admit some of it is.” I grinned.

“Nope, never. I’m perfect.” she replied nonchalantly, resuming her walking.

“Anyone at school can tell that.” I replied sincerely.

“Yeah, and anyone at school could tell you what my vagina looks like. What’s your point?” she fired back.

“Anyone except me.” I complained.

“Oh, come on.” she half-laughed. “Pitying your way to getting sex again won’t work. Get Megan to help you out or something.”

“It wasn’t the fact that it was sex, it was because it was with you.” I protested.

“I don’t buy that for an instant.” she retorted, opening the school doors to the outside. “I know I’m good at it, but sex is sex, even if some is crappier.” She paused for a second then saw the look I was giving her out of the corner of her eye. “Don’t look at me like that. If you’re getting an emotional attachment to me, that’s all the more reason it’s good that we’re not doing it. We’re still hanging out, aren’t we?”

“Why is an emotional attachment even bad?” I protested. “I can accept if it doesn’t go both ways, but it’s like I have to feel bad for my own feelings. I don’t feel like it’s fair.”

Nicole gave the horizon ahead her patented ‘losing my patience’ smile and turned to me. “I’m gonna say this gently because I’m in a good mood, squirt.” she told me, taking my hands in hers and turning her body to face me, just two teenagers in the parking lot.

“When you say you have an emotional attraction to me, or an emotional connection to me, I don’t like it. I’m not comfortable with it because I feel obligated to do something about it. Even if you don’t want me to, I’ll still have that obligation. And that will just make me push you away. It’s really clear you’ve never lost your best friend before. I know it’s a cliché to say this, but grief sucks. After I lost Mitch, I didn’t want a friend ever again. I didn’t like feeling any kind of emotional connection. It would only remind me of him, how much I want him back, and how he isn’t ever coming back.

“I’m not comfortable being open, and I’ve had to do it a shit ton this year. Hell, I’ve even accepted it. But emotional shit is too much. No offense, squirt, but sometimes you’re too much.” She paused a little to let that sink in. “I’m not mad at all, but I’m not ready to… let my guard down again like that. It’s not about you. I’m not ready to be that vulnerable. What if you’re stupid and get into an accident or something? I wouldn’t be able to take it.”

She was smiling at me – oddly calm for someone who was basically admitting she was broken (and kind of implied she didn’t want us to be friends). “Okay?” she asked expectantly.

“I think it’s stupid.” I grumbled. “So what, you’re going to live the rest of your life without friends?”

“No, stupid.” she replied, a little annoyed at this point. “But… give me time. I can’t expect you to understand what I’m going through, but that’s okay.”

“I could if you explained it!” I argued.

“I just did.” she huffed. “Who’s your best friend in the whole world?”

“You.” I replied without hesitation.

“Really?!” she laughed. “Wow. that’s sad. Okay, so if you lost me, how would you feel?”

“I’d feel-”

“Nope.” She shook her head.

“What?!”

“You didn’t even think about it.” she answered simply. “It’s so much different than what you think it’s like. You can’t give me a good answer just like that.”

Frankly, I didn’t agree with her, but I was willing to let her have her way, because God knows she wasn’t going to have it any other way. “Okay, I’ve got it.” I meekly conceded.

She gave me a big smile in thanks. “I appreciate it, squirt.” she told me softly, moving her head forward and kissing my forehead gently. “And I don’t want it to sound like I don’t like being friends with you.” she added as we started to walk again. “It’s just like… it’s hard for me to want to be friends, just in principle.”

“It’s hard for me to make friends.” I grumbled under my breath as we approached her car.

“Don’t give me that. You’ve got a lot of friends. You’re just too much of a dumbo to see how well off you are.” she rolled her eyes as she unlocked the car, then stepped inside. As I followed suit, she cleared her throat, then cleared her throat again.

“You okay?” I asked her.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” she answered as if it were dumb for me to even ask.

“Well, sheesh, I dunno.” I replied dryly. “Didn’t realize looking out for your well-being was so taboo.”

“It’s not taboo, but I already have the best girl in the force doing that job.” She looked in my direction as she started the car and winked at me. “Besides, I don’t get sick.”

“I don’t feel like that’s a thing.” I responded. “Everybody gets sick.”

“I’m not everybody.” she simply replied, smiling at me. “So what’re your plans for the night?”

“Nonexistent.” I shrugged.

She grinned. “Wrong-o. We’re hanging the fuck out.”

“More Castle Crashers?” I asked.

“If you want.”

I was going to make some petty remark about how the lack of sex would make it less fun, but then I thought of Salvador. I so desperately wanted to prove him wrong, but all I kept doing was proving him right. I shook my head. ‘I can do this,’ I thought to myself.

“Sounds like a good time.” I smiled at her as we drove.

***

“Don’t you normally have lunch with Carson? Isn’t he going to be upset?” May asked as we sat down in her familiar hallway.

“Carson doesn’t give a shit about anything.” I answered with a laugh as I opened my lunch pack. “Wouldn’t you know that more than anyone?”

I looked to May with a smile expecting her to give some sort of dry response, but instead I just saw her looking down at her lunch.”Um…” I fumbled, “sorry.”

“It’s okay.” she said quietly. “I just… I really don’t want to be thinking about boys right now, you know?”

I chuckled. “Yeah, me too.” We exchanged smiles as if we were sharing an inside joke and dived into our lunches.

“Y’know…” she began slowly after a minute of silence, her mouth full. “It’s kind of hard not to talk about it.”

“Is that because of recent events?” I asked, chewing. “Maybe it’s because of how recent they are, too…”

She shrugged. “Is it weird being in the council with Phil?”

I paused. “Well, Phil also says his story is true, keep in mind…” I began slowly.

She caught on. “You don’t know who to believe?” she asked me hesitantly.

“More like I believe both of you.” I answered her. “I’m not ready to say either of you are wrong, so I’m just believing both of you for now.”

“That’s just a nicer way of saying you don’t believe either of us.” she looked everywhere but in my eyes as she told me. “If you believed him you wouldn’t be talking to me. You’d treat me like shit. And vice versa.”

I wanted to disagree, but I couldn’t. “It’s hard.” I replied. “As soon as I choose one person to believe, I’m making a statement that I don’t believe the other person, and I’m not ready to cut either of you out of my life.”

She put her hand on mine and smiled. “I understand.”

“I feel like you knew that I haven’t chosen a side yet even when you accepted my invite to lunch.” I kept going. “I hoped you’d understand. I mean this in the best way possible but this isn’t my problem. I don’t want to be dragged into it when my opinion isn’t even important in the first place.”

“Don’t you feel like you’re going to burst though?” she inquired. “Like, I always need to tell people how I think about stuff. Do you have a diary?”

I was hesitant about telling her, but the more I thought about it, the more I figured it would benefit her. She knew Salvador. Maybe she didn’t like him, but if I knew one thing about that guy, it was that you didn’t need to like him to appreciate him. “Better. I talk to Mr. Salvador.” I practically whispered.

She gave me an incredulous look. “You what?”

“He gave me this offer after he saw my anxiety was affecting the class.”

“You have anxiety?”

I stared straight ahead for a moment. Never, until that point did I ever actually acknowledge it, let alone use the word anxiety. Did I have anxiety? Even after all of my growth I was still really stupidly nervous. Did I actually have a disorder?

“Okay, sorry, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.” May’s words broke me from my trance.

“Huh?” I snapped to attention to see a concerned look on her face. “Oh, sorry. I just meant that I can be anxious sometimes. Anyway, I told him everything…”

“Everything?” she interrupted. “What do you mean by ‘everything’?”

I gave her a half-smile and a slow nod in response, watching her grow pale.

“Adam!” she practically barked. “That’s private stuff! I don’t want you gossipping about me to our old teacher!”

“It wasn’t really gossip. It was more like stuff that was weighing me down so much I was crashing. I wanted to tell it to someone. And it doesn’t look like he passed judgment on me, so why would he on you?”

“Are you suggesting I go blab to him too?” she asked me with one eyebrow raised.

“You said it yourself – you feel like you always need to tell people stuff. Is this any different?” I asked. “Plus it would be better if it was with the one person you know wouldn’t misuse the information you told them.”

“I thought that was you, but it turns out everything I tell you, you tell our teacher.” she replied bitterly.

“Come on.” I begged her. “Live in my world. I was really uncomfortable with all of the crap that was going down. Was I just supposed to suffer?”

“Am I?”

“Well, you have the same outlet, don’t you?” I asked her. “You can go ahead and tell him everything.”

“I can’t even look him in the eye now!” she barked. “I can’t even take drama next year now that my fucking drama teacher knows I cheated on my ex with you…”

“So you finally admit it.” I smugly yet stupidly interjected.

May gave me a look that could have been used to euthanize Andre the Giant and I shrank back, nervously taking another bite of my sandwich. Eventually her voice broke the silence. “I’ll think about it.”

I shrugged. That was as good a response as I was expecting. I chewed in silence for a bit before noticing that May was only slowly biting on a single apple.

“You brought more to eat than that, right?” I asked her, pointing to the apple. She didn’t respond – she just meekly looked to the floor. “Why didn’t you pack a bigger lunch? Don’t you get hungry?”

“It doesn’t really matter.” she quietly answered.

“Well, are you hungry?” I asked again.

She sighed. “I’ve just sort of lost my appetite. Food sucks now.”

“Food never sucks. It’s fucking awesome. It’s… food.” I replied. “Come on, is it really that bad?”

“It feels that bad.” she answered with a slightly sad shrug.

“Well what if you had more food, would you eat then?”

She gave a small gaze to my practically finished sandwich, which maybe had two bites left to its name. “I’ll pass.” she flatly said.

“No, come on.” I replied, standing up and taking her hand. “I’m going to buy you something.”

“No, Adam, come on…”

“It’s fine. I have money.” I gave her a reassuring smile. “I’d like to. Please?”

She huffed. “Will you take no for an answer?”

“Will you eat what I buy?” I retaliated. She gave a small smile and followed my lead as we ventured into the cafeteria and into the food serving station (at our school, it had its own room separate from the eating area).

“What would you like?” I asked her as she gazed around, clearly not familiar with the place. Neither was I, and the selection wasn’t exactly reminiscent of La Prego.

“I guess I’ll take a slice of pizza.” she hesitantly said.

“Will you eat it?” I asked her with a half-smile on my face.

“Can I eat it?” she asked in response. I gazed over to the pizza, which looked like it came from a pottery oven. “Good luck.” I mumbled to her as I paid the lunch lady and took a slice for her.

She reached over to grab it and in the attempt, accidentally bumped into a duo of people I didn’t recognize. It was an honest mistake, and with it being so, May turned around and promptly apologized.

“My bad.” she shrugged sheepishly as she looked the person in the face, no evidence in her expression telling me she had any idea who those people were.

The person on the left did a double take at May as she apologized, and nudged the girl next to her. Wordlessly, they both looked at May for about five seconds.

May got visibly creeped out. “What?” she asked finally.

The person on the left said nothing, just shook their head at her and kept walking. The person on the right followed suit, mumbling one word under her breath as she walked which was barely audible to us.

“Slut.”

May’s face was 10% shock, 30% anger, and 60% melancholy acceptance. Without a word, she snatched the pizza from my hands and without waiting for me, marched right out of the serving area, presumably back to her corner.

I suddenly understood Phil a lot more. The issue didn’t leave at what I saw. Both of these people were hurting, and the suckiest part of all was that only one of them deserved it.

***

The next day was a day unlike one Hazelwood had seen in a long time. There was a disturbance in the Force. There was a certain emptiness to the aura of the school, a certain presence absent from the hallways, a certain sarcastic know-it-all only a memory for the day.

Nicole Baker wasn’t at school.

One could tell what a central figure she was to the school when she was there, but one could tell even more when she wasn’t. The hallways were practically dead. If I hadn’t known any better, I’d think that Nicole was some kind of sex goddess that regulated the school, because there was some kind of definite palatable sexual tension lingering around the school’s populace like an unwelcome storm cloud. Even I felt it.

I would have found the circumstance a lot more hilarious had I not been so worried. Nicole hadn’t been answering her texts all day. When I had asked the school secretary about it, she said it was ‘none of my business,’ which I guess was fair, considering I could have just as easily been Nicole’s stalker to her. Then again, I suppose in the moment I really was Nicole’s stalker.

It was a Friday and Nicole wasn’t at school, so I had ample liberty to take the bus home, which I promptly did. Throughout the entire bus ride home, possibilities whirled throughout my head. She was sick, she had another family crisis, she played hooky, this was a dream, Pluto’s not a real planet, the whole overthinking shebang. Once I got home, I spent maybe two minutes putting my stuff down and saying hi-bye to mom before rushing off to Nicole’s house, cutting across the neighbor’s lawn with the grace of a newborn foal.

Within seconds Mrs. Baker responded to my rapping on her door, opening up the door with a neutral expression that soured just a tad after she registered that it was me.

“Hello, Adam.” she greeted me, admittedly flatly. “What can we do for you?”

“Hello, Mrs. Baker.” I stammered. “I couldn’t help but notice Nicole wasn’t at school today.”

“You’ve got a sharp eye for detail, don’t you?” she responded, the same level of thrill in her voice as ever.

“Well… I was…. wondering why she wasn’t…” I eventually choked out, wanting to say it like it were obvious but still uncomfortable.

“Who is it?” I heard Mr. Baker’s voice booming from the kitchen.

Mrs. Baker quietly sighed to herself. “It’s Nicole’s little friend.”

“What does he want?”

“To know why Nicole wasn’t at school today!”

“What?”

“He wants to know why Nicole wasn’t at school today!”

“Oh, does he go to her school?”

Mrs Baker turned fully away from me. “Why would he be asking if he didn’t go to her school?!” She turned back to me as Mr. Baker made some kind of muffled response. “Oh for heaven’s sakes, come in.” she finally conceded, closing the door after me as I walked in.

“Shoes off?” I asked.

“Yes please.”

I kicked off my shoes, passed Mr. Baker in the kitchen then started to head upstairs. I promptly stopped halfway through then retraced my steps back to the kitchen, looking at the spine of Mr. Baker’s book.

“Outliers?” I asked him incredulously.

He put his book down and gave me a stubborn look. “It’s a good book!” he defended himself.

“I didn’t know you owned anything besides Dickens.” I explained.

“Well, I do.” he grumpily stated. I continued to stare until he exasperatedly sighed and put the book down again. “My daughter is upstairs, not in this book.” he remarked curmudgeonly.

Well, that was enough public relations with the Baker family for one day, I decided. I again took the pathway upstairs and without even knocking, marched right into Nicole’s room.

Nicole was in her bed, or rather, on it. Fully clothed, face fused to the pillow, completely above the covers, positioned like a Modigliani painting.

“Hey, Nicole.” I warmly greeted her as I walked up to her, caressing her back.

“I’m fucking sick.” she complained into the pillow, with as little hesitation as if we were already in a full-fledged conversation.

“I thought you don’t get sick.” I replied.

“I don’t.” She forced herself up to look at me eye-to-eye, and my God, it really showed that was was sick. She was paler than usual and her eyes had lost their natural sparkle. It didn’t help that they were half-closed.

“At least you’re still beautiful.” I half-lied.

She gave me her ‘I’m not amused’ smile in response. “Oh, shut up.” she laughed meekly as she stood up, stretching herself out.

“When’s the last time you got sick?” I asked her.

“The seventies.” She lazily reached over to her dresser and started pulling out some clothes. Not even caring that I was in the room, she got rid of her t-shirt, exposing her perfect breasts to me.

“So what the hell are you doing here?” she asked me, putting on a bra slowly, almost teasingly covering up her beautiful nipples until they were gone from my sight.

“I came to see you!” I answered as if it were obvious. “You weren’t at school and I got worried.”

“Of course you did, you lil’ wuss.” she replied, smiling warmly at me as she put a new t-shirt on.

“I have a right to worry about you.” I defended myself. “The whole school felt like it noticed you were gone.”

Nicole beamed and looked out her open window. “Damn right.” she practically whispered. “Did you have a good day, squirt?”

“Well, it wasn’t as good without you there.” I began.

“Don’t tell me things I already know.” she grinned as she took off her pants. “How’s Spanish, you still struggling?”

“Well, I got th- why are you dressing in front of me? Are you trying to tease me?” I sputtered. “Didn’t you already have clothes on?”

“These are yesterday’s clothes, you dummy.” she replied, taking off her panties at throwing them squarely at my face. I didn’t really have an underwear fetish so I just swatted them away. “You touched them last, now you have to throw them in the hamper,” she added, motioning to her hamper while simultaneously putting another pair on. Secretly, I cursed myself for not looking between her legs while I had the chance as I threw her panties in her hamper across the room.

“Kobe.” I muttered. “Why did you go to sleep in yesterday’s clothes?”

“Sleep? I wish.” she responded, slipping on a pair of black jeans. “Sickness hits me hard, squirt. I haven’t slept since before you saw me last.”

“We saw each other yesterday.” I relayed.

“I fucking know.” she replied annoyedly.

“That’s insane! Are you okay?” I asked her worriedly.

She waved me off as she sat beside me. “Don’t sweat it. I’ve lived through hell and back. Sickness doesn’t even register at this point.” she muttered. “Besides, I took the usual stuff.”

“What, like medicine?” I asked.

She gave me a distasteful look. “You know, it’s attitudes like that that allow superbacteria to carry antibiotic-resistant genes. You’ll kill us all.” She coughed into her arm. “No, not like fuckin’ medicine. I have a cold, not pneumonia. I just mean tea and stuff.”

At this point I was basically used to certain things Nicole said being in one ear and out the other. “What about soup?” I asked.

She coughed again. “I think mom made some earlier but I haven’t been downstairs since yesterday.” she conceded with a hoarser throat.

“Why not?”

“I don’t wanna be seen like this if I’m sick, okay?” she snapped. “Call it stupid or whatever, but I feel weird being seen… weak.”

I thought about the day I discovered her at Mitch’s grave, then dismissed it with a shiver. “Why don’t I go downstairs and get it for you?” I offered.

“Because I’m a lazy piece of shit that can do it herself?” she offered.

“Nuh-uh.” I shook my head. “If you’re sick, I want to help you.”

“I don’t need help.”

“I didn’t say you did.” I retaliated. “I just want you to have soup.”

“Cute, play the hero.” she playfully punched me in the arm.

I stood up. “I’m not all talk. I’m gonna do it. Got any words for me?”

“Off the top of my head?”

“Sure.”

“You make me feel guilty and I hate you.” she flopped down onto the bed, her head facing the ceiling and her hands rubbing her eyes.

“Good enough for me.” I grinned and she grinned back, still not facing me. I rushed back downstairs to see Mrs. Baker at the kitchen island (island/table, I never really decided which I should call it) reading a newspaper, and Mr. Baker still reading Outliers.

I cleared my throat, causing Mrs. Baker to lower her newspaper ever so slightly, her eyes meeting mine. “Um, hi.” I began. “Do you know where the bowls are?”

“In my own kitchen? Let me surprise you.” her disinterested tone greeted me once again as she stood up. “What do you need a bowl for?”

“Nicole would like some soup but she’s too shy about how she looks to come get it herself.”

Mr. Baker chuckled. “That sounds like her.”

“See this drawer?” Mrs. Baker pulled open a drawer for me. “Bowls galore. The spoons are in the drawer above.”

“Thank you.” I replied sincerely, and rushed to get a bowl. “Can I get some for you too?”

“Quit it with the nice guy facade.” she chuckled amusedly at my ‘cheekiness.’

“It’s not a facade, I’m honestly asking you.”

“Well then your facade is so good you’ve even fooled yourself.” she replied with a smile. “I’d love some soup. Help yourself too.”

“Thank you.” I replied. “Mr. Baker?”

“I’ll pass.” Mr. Baker replied. “Good lad.”

Them being somewhat hospitable gave me a stupid surge of confidence and I opened up my mouth once more. “Does it suck having a guy around for so long that you start being nice to them?” I asked. “Did you ever have the talk with her like you promised?”

I gave Mrs. Baker her soup as she sighed. “Look.” she began. “It’s hard. Nicole is, as you know, a very special girl. She’s not like any other girl.”

“One in a million.” I acknowledged, pouring Nicole her soup.

“If that. But that comes with disadvantages. We know you mean well, and if you don’t you’re better at hiding it than a lot of guys she brought home. But you’re young and presumptuous. It’s incredibly rude to come into our house and tell us how we should be raising our own daughter.”

“Incredibly rude.” Mr. Baker repeated.

“I doubt there’s much you can tell us that we don’t already know.” Mrs. Baker went on. “And we’re trying as hard as we can. Now I think we can admit we got off on the wrong foot.”

I nodded.

“Do you know why that was?” she asked me rhetorically.

Um…” I slowly began. “Is this the part where I say I did something wrong?”

“We’re used to guys like you using Nicole.” Mrs. Baker continued, ignoring me. “Using her. We don’t like seeing it happen and we do as much as we can to prevent it.”

“So what do I have to say to prove to you that I’m not like those guys?” I asked her. “Is there something I can do to stop us from hating each other?”

“Well, we don’t hate you.” she admitted. “We just don’t like the idea of you two going upstairs and having sex all the time. But that’s not going to change, is it?”

I laughed out loud. “Actually, about that… Nicole is worried about me being younger than her and all and has decided to stop having sex with me. You don’t even need to worry on that front.”

“Wait, how old are you?” she asked me.

“I’m a freshman.”

“Good gracious, she’s with a ninth-grader, Duncan.” she remarked to her husband.

“Was.” I clarified. “We’re not having sex at this point. Ask her, she’ll give you the same story.”

She gave me a serious look. “Do you promise?” she asked.

“Yes.”

She looked at me in the eyes for a long time. “Okay.” she finally said. “I’d like the bedroom door to be open at all times when you’re over for security, but for now, we’ll trust you. Thank you for being open.”

“Thank you for actually giving me a chance.” I replied. “Is there a time I should be home?”

“We’re not prepared for you for supper but until then as long as you like, I suppose.” she answered. “Wait. How far away do you live?”

“Just over there.” I motioned. “I’m two houses over.”

“Good gracious Duncan, he’s the son of those Watsons! We never really pay the neighbors enough attention, do we?”

“Wait, do you guys know my parents?” I asked.

Right when Mrs. Baker was about to answer, an authoritative voice rang through the hall. “How. Long. Does. It. Take. To. Get. Me. Soup?!” Nicole’s annoyed voice yelled down the stairs.

I hesitated for a second and quickly gathered up her bowl, moving across the kitchen.

“Nothing beyond the name.” Mrs. Baker quickly answered me. “We met your parents when we came to the neighborhood but that’s about it.”

I could have known Nicole growing up. I’ll have to chalk that one up to my family’s history of being antisocial. “Please don’t tell them what Nicole and I have been doing.” I spat out as the thought hit me.

“They don’t know?”

I shook my head. “I’ll be as good as you guys want. Just please give me that one thing.”

“I see.” Mrs. Baker said just slowly enough to be ominous. Great.

I practically tripped over myself getting to Nicole’s room while powerwalking. When I opened the door, she was staring out the window.

“I could have made myself soup in the time it took you, Gonzales.” she complained, not shifting her view.

“Sorry.” I sheepishly said. “I got into a bit of a thing with your mom.”

“Yeah, she can be a handful sometimes.” Nicole admitted, looking over to me and taking the soup from my hands. She kissed me on the forehead. “Thanks, hotshot. You’re the sweetest.”

“Only for the best.” I countered.

“Don’t get cute on me right now. I’m vulnerable, remember?” she said slyly, taking the first slurp of her soup.

“I wish you were.” I grumbled stupidly.

“Oh yeah. Girls love it when you get rape-y.” She shot me a look.

I sighed. “I hate having to watch what I say around you so much. Walking on eggshells is so stupid.”

“Call it the toll of hanging out with me.” she shrugged as she slurped up more soup. “Besides, I’m sure you don’t notice it, but every single time we hang out whether I’m in the mood or not, you keep making sexual suggestions.”

“So now I should stop being open with you too? It’s how I feel.”

“I know it’s how you fucking feel.” she growled. “And that’s all my fault.”

“For what, having sex with me? So now it’s a mistake?” My tone was starting to get heated.

“I didn’t say that. God, you’re a dummy.” she retaliated. “I meant I feel like our friendship is built out of sex.”

“Well…” I was ready to rebut, but then hesitated. “…It kind of is, isn’t it?”

No one said anything for about ten seconds, then I broke the silence. “Well, is that a bad thing?”

“It’s not really a good thing. I dunno if it’s bad though.” she replied. “Life isn’t a porno, dude. I don’t like the advances you make right after I say, ‘hey, let’s stop having sex.’”

“Alright, I’ll stop.”

“It’s like you’re a kid who got their toy taken away from them, then you just try to do psychological warfare on your parents just so they give it back.” she continued.

“I said I’ll fucking stop.” I repeated a little more heatedly.

“What’s wrong? Do you not like people saying things after you indirectly ask them not to?” she giggled.

“You are such a brat.” I commented, shaking my head. “So, Castle Crashers?”

Nicole chuckled and looked down to the floor. “Y’know, normally I’d love to. But I think I should actually rest. If I’m sick that’s a bad sign.”

“Is that your subtle way of telling me to go away?” I asked.

“Sure, if you’d like.” she shrugged. “Take it that way if you’re a sissy. All I mean is that I’m fucking beat, and if sickness got the best of me in round one I want to kick its ass once my immune system kicks into high gear.”

“Well I hope you get better soon.” I mumbled as I turned to leave. I stopped when I felt a hand on my shoulder turning me around.

“I’d say the same for you hotshot, but you’re already perfect.” Nicole softly told me, wrapping me in an embrace.

“Is that why you chastised me earlier?” I asked her humorously.

“Don’t ruin the moment.” she told me, still hugging me. “You’re so immature.”

“Yet another way I’m not perfect.” I prodded further.

She didn’t say anything. She let go of me, then with her face in front of mine, leaned forward and slowly kissed my forehead.

“You’re gonna get me sick.” I complained.

“You’re already lovesick for me.” she reminded me.

“I thought you don’t like that.”

“Well I’m making the most of it, aren’t I?” she asked me. “Now skidaddle. I’m fucking tired.”

“Bye, Nicole.” I softly said, her kiss suddenly having its effect on me. The effect made the goodbye borderline painful.

“Go.” she replied emotionlessly. “It’s not like we’re gonna never see each other again. Get the fuck out of my room. Have a good night!” she grinned. The last sentence was said in a sickeningly sweet, singsong voice.

I chuckled as I left her room, closed the door behind me, and made my way downstairs. I waved to her parents to say goodbye as I entered the back room.

“So, you two were arguing?” Mrs. Baker asked me.

Fuck. They heard. “How much did you hear?” I asked, cringing.

“Well, I know that either you’re not lying or you and Nicole are putting on a very elaborate act.” she answered.

Ah, right. That’s what the argument was about. “I told you I wasn’t lying.” I replied.

“It’s always good to have proof.” She crossed her arms. “Have a good night.” She left for the kitchen, leaving me by myself for about five seconds until I left and walked back to my house, thinking all the way back. That wasn’t saying much, considering the trip was around a minute.

By the time I had gotten back home, dad was already home, relaxing in the living room watching Sanford and Son or whatever 80s show he decided was worthy this week. Lazily, I plopped down next to him. Slowly, he turned to face me.

“What?” I finally asked.

“How was your day?” he asked in his trademark dry tone.

I scanned myself for the source of his amusement. Unless I had a kiss mark on my forehead, I couldn’t find anything. “What’s so funny?” I asked him.

“Normally, you’re the first to say something. Not just sit yourself down like the human wonder lump.” Dad told me. “Maybe your day was tiring or something. That would be why I asked.”

“Oh.” I simply replied. “Nah, it was an alright day. Just… school.”

“And how’s Nicole?” Dad asked. “Mom told me you went to visit her.”

“Sick.”

“That’s unfortunate.” he replied with no change in tone. “I hope she didn’t infect you. There’s not enough cold medicine in this house for all three of us so don’t get too close to me.”

“Taking antibiotics for a cold just breeds resistant superbacteria. You’ll kill us all, dad.” I replied lazily.

My eyes widened as I realized what I just said.

***

It was flat-out strange for May to request for us to go on a walk together. Given our history, especially given our last encounter, I wasn’t really in any kind of position to say no. However, one of the more sucky parts of Nicole being sick for me was that I had no ride. Eventually, after a lot of pleading from her and a few quick trips to Google Maps, we decided on a park that was halfway between our places. I was lucky that it was spring, because as much as I loved winter, frostbite was a thing and I wasn’t too enthused with the idea of walking large distances just for someone else’s well-being. I felt awful even thinking that, but May’s problems were May’s problems, and I almost started to regret involving myself to this large an extent.

I got there first, luckily by only two minutes. May seemed chipper as ever when she greeted me, so I was glad to see this wasn’t going to be a melodramatic walk.

“Have you ever been here before?” May asked me after walking for a bit, trying to create conversation.

“Nope.” I replied. “It’s more than an hour away from my house. Kind of undesirable.”

“You should move closer to school then.” she replied.

I chuckled. “Give my parents three hundred grand and maybe they’ll consider it.” She smiled at my comment, allowing silence to fill the air. “So, how are you doing?” I finally asked.

She sighed quietly. “I decided to talk to Mr. Salvador.” she conceded.

Even when she took my damn advice, she still had to word it like it was her idea. “Oh yeah?” I asked her. “How’d that go?”

We wordlessly decided to sit down on a nearby bench as she proceeded. “I think I like it.” she concluded. “It really helps when I can tell people stuff, but I’m still not so sure about him. Every time I tell him something he gives me this expectant look. Like, if I were trying to look inside myself for the answer, I would have just gave the speech to a mirror.”

I laughed out loud. “Welcome to the world of Salvador.” I told her. “He does the same thing to me all of the time.”

“Oh my god!” May replied enthusiastically. “Like, right? I wish he’d just get off his high horse and tell me what he’s thinking.”

“I feel like if he did that as often as you hope, he’d be fired at this point.” I chuckled.

“Well, at least he’d be honest.” she replied bitterly.

“So, did you tell him everything?” I asked.

She nodded. “Everything I feel was important to my story.”

“Including when we got together at the earlier party?” I asked.

She blushed and shook her head. “That really isn’t important to my story. It’s about the more recent party. The past should be left to the past, right?”

“Right, right.” I nodded. “It’ll be interesting talking to Mr. Salvador next time. Now he has my version of the story and yours. If only he had Phil’s, he’d have the complete set.”

“I’d rather Phil not talk to him. Even if he did, he’d be able to spot the liar a mile away.” she said, half-angrily. I put my hand on hers and smiled.

“It’s okay.” I reassured her.

“Besides, knowing salvador, he’s just going to play dumb if you ever mention that I’ve gone to him.” she pointed out.

“Oh my god, that’s true.” I muttered. “So I only have your word for it that you actually went to him.”

“Well, I did.” she replied stubbornly. “How often do you go to him?”

I shrugged. “Whenever I need to. Sometimes it’s rare, but sometimes it’s like once a week.”

“Once a week?!” she asked incredulously. “How traumatic is your life that you need to go to him once a week?”

“Well, it’s for a multitude of things.” I replied defensively. “Sometimes I’m feeling like the world has ended, and sometimes I just go because I’m sexually frustrated or something.”

I didn’t mean for that last part to spill out, and immediately cringed on the inside when I did. I turned to see May had one eyebrow lowered at me.

“You go to see Mr. Salvador when you’re pent up?” she asked me.

“Well, it’s more complicated than that…”

“How?” she asked me, having to suppress her giggles.

“Well, it’s like when I’m so used to having sex and then it gets cut off at the source. Like, it changes a lot about my day-to-day life.”

“Are you saying you’re addicted?” she asked, now completely humorless.

“No, not addicted, but it’s weird. I guess I’m really used to it. Like, it was a big part of my world until recently, and now I’m trying to adapt to that. So telling him how I feel about it helps.”

“So this is a recent thing, huh?” May asked coolly.

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“Wow, I didn’t think you’d be so open to tell me that.” May admitted slowly, as if she were thinking about something.

“Well, I’ve become a lot more of an open person lately, and…” I trailed off. I could feel May’s eyes burning into mine. “…What?”

“I’m just saying.” May replied, a lot of confidence in her voice. “It just seems weird that the topic around you turned to sex so fast.”

A brief flashback of what Nicole said yesterday hit me. “Yeah, I guess, I’m sor-”

“Don’t apologize.” May’s voice was as confident as ever. “Are you trying to tell me something? No need to be shy about it.”

“Huh?” I asked. In the face of her confidence, my shyness was actually increasing by the second. “May, I didn-”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong. I can totally relate.” she admitted slyly. “Boys aren’t the only ones with urges. I get them too.”

“Yeah, I be-”

“A lot.” She was staring me right in the face now. There was no mistaking her tone. Against my wishes, I could feel myself growing hard at her sultry voice.

“May, we shouldn’t do this.” I said with withering confidence. “Every time we do it’s a whole new round of headaches for both of us.”

“Do what, Adam? I haven’t suggested we do anything at all.” May sang in a mock innocent voice. “What about you, what are you thinking about?” Her eyes went down to my crotch, which I’m sure was originally supposed to be a flirtatious flash. However, her eyes lingered as she no doubt noticed the bulge.

“May, seriously.” I protested. “Can we stop pretending?”

“Gladly.” she replied hungrily as she grabbed me by the front of my shirt, pulling me in for a long, passionate kiss. As much as I wanted to pull away, I couldn’t. May was as good a kisser as ever – maybe even better somehow. My hands were almost shaking as the softness of her full lips consumed my thoughts, made me unable to think about other, dumber things like morals and common sense.

Before I even realized it, my arms were around her and I was kissing her back. As stupid as it sounds, I missed this. I missed sex, I missed intimacy. I wanted more. I wanted her. My kisses got hungrier and hungrier as our tongues began to battle, fighting for the reigning champion of whoever was the most consumed by lust.

Eventually, we broke away from each other, and I forced myself to break eye contact with her, breaking the spell. If I knew me, I knew this moment wouldn’t last long, so I cautiously looked around us. “Y’know, let alone whether we should be doing this at all, we shouldn’t be doing this in a public place…” I remarked.

May’s spell was, unlike mine, unbroken. “I don’t see any people around, do you?” She asked rhetorically, putting one slow, sensual kiss on my lips. She grabbed my hands and placed them roughly on her clothed boobs. “Remember these?” she asked huskily.

“May, no…” I once again cautiously looked around.

May playfully pouted. “You don’t? Maybe I should give you a reminder.” With that, she grabbed her shirt by the bottom and lifted it enough to expose her bra-covered breast. I tried to protest but all that came out was a whimper. She giggled in response and, seemingly pleased by my response, pulled her bra down just enough to expose her big, beautiful, puffy nipples.

“Now, I’m sure you remember these.” she told me. “Why not give them a little greeting?” Not even waiting for my response, she grabbed my head from behind and pulled my head down, which was once again under her spell.

My lust won out and my rational brain was shut down. My tongue was swirling around her gorgeous nipples within seconds. May was some kind of animal. A part of me wondered if she planned this. It was all too quick – in a public place to boot. She couldn’t be contained. And speaking of, soon I was, not unlike her, immune to my own awareness of where we were as my hands were groping her ass and I sucked on her nipples, letting my teeth lightly graze them every so often.

“Fuck, I’ve missed this.” May muttered. “You’ve missed this too, haven’t you?” Truth was, I really did. The lack of sex just made me want it more, and May was offering herself as a series of wet holes for me to use. I couldn’t argue.

“Now are you sure you want to stop?” May’s words teased me. “Or do you want to ruin my throat with your big, beautiful cock?”

Even though my trance of lust, that shattered my delusion and I sat up immediately, realizing that I once again had the power to stop.

May, however, took it as a sign of me liking her suggestion. “I thought so.” she purred, getting on her knees in front of me and starting to play with my zipper.

I felt a surge of sobriety rock through me. I returned to my own rational self. With it, I looked upon the situation with new eyes and realized an important thing – I wasn’t comfortable with this. “May, we can’t be doing this. I think you should stop right now.” I said with confidence that surprised even me.

May was, amazingly enough, unfazed. It was like she was on something, because she only giggled naughtily. “If you think we should stop, you should stop me.”

While it was true I had freed my rational mind, it didn’t mean my lusty mind had sobered up in the slightest. They were doing battle, but I was confident. Alright, fine, I thought. I will do something about it.

May freed my dick from my pants, and my body didn’t move. Hungrily, May began to take me into her mouth, and my body didn’t move. May reached between her legs and her hand reached into her pants, and my body didn’t move. It was like trying to convince yourself you’ll go do a chore, but never actually getting up and doing it. My body just sat there, unmoving, growing less comfortable by the second as I realized that as much as my lusty mind was enjoying this, I didn’t want this. I couldn’t find the mental strength to actually remove May from me as she took my cock and determinedly pushed it as far down her mouth as possible.

Unfortunately, she was amazing at giving blowjobs. Her warm, wet mouth knew exactly how fast go go, when to lick and tease, what moans to make and when. I couldn’t do it. I just sat there as she devoured my dick as if she needed it more than she needed to breathe.

“Looks like someone is enjoying it.” May purred, a sultry grin on her face paired with a little slobber and no doubt pre-cum.

“I… do not consent.” I managed to get out slowly.

“Aw, why baby?” May pouted. “I’m pretty sure I can see for myself that you are enjoying this.” She was lazily jacking me off as she spoke.

Again, I looked around us instinctively to make sure no one was around. “May, I don’t give my consent. We need to stop.” I choked out, closing my eyes to distract from the lustful scene before me.

“Then stop me. Go ahead and stop me. If you do, I won’t bother you any more.” May said in a voice that told me she knew I wouldn’t. “Because I bet you won’t. Here’s another little thing that Salvador helped me realize – I fucking love you, Adam.”

My eyes opened in shock to see that May was in the process of taking her pants off. “What?!” I asked.

“I love you, Adam Watson. And I bet you love me too. That’s why you can’t stop me from doing this. Because you want it too. You want me too. You love me too. So go on, stop me, I dare you.” She looked me in the eyes as she removed her underwear, exposing her pussy to the world, which looked wet already. I could only gulp nervously in response.

May grinned, almost evilly, before slowly lowering herself onto me. “Thought so. Now wrap your arms around me and fuck me like the bitch in heat I am.”

I don’t know why I obeyed. I have no clue. Before I knew it, in the already uncomfortable position of the park bench, plus the uncomfortable position of not consenting, I was letting May ride me for all her worth.

Hormonally, this felt like the best thing in the world. May’s pussy was milking my cock for everything it was worth, and I felt such intense waves of pleasure rippling through me that I swear my sense of touch was enhanced. I could feel so many things. I was in pure ecstasy. I could barely see anything but stars, I felt so much pleasure.

But I also felt so dirty. So damned dirty. I wasn’t okay with this, with herself, with myself. I felt shame. I felt like this was my fault. I needed to speak up. I needed to take action. Why was I so powerless when I had ample opportunity? None of this made sense to me.

May kept bouncing on me as I felt worse and worse about myself. I was disgusting. I was subhuman. I was a mess.

***

“You sure you’re okay?” Nicole asked me, genuinely concerned, as we made our way to the council room.

“I’m fine.” I flatly answered. “Aren’t you the sick one?”

She grinned. “Beat it in two days flat. Wrestled it to the mat. you could even say it went out… cold.” I didn’t say anything and kept walking. Nicole, knowing I normally acknowledged her jokes, made a very flustered whine-sigh. “Fucking tell me.”

“I’m just having an off day. That’s all.” I lied. I had been like this since Saturday, ever since May and I met up, for obvious reasons.

“You’re going to tell me eventually, right? I don’t care if it’s stupid, squirt. I care about you, dammit.” Nicole asked in a voice full of concern.

I didn’t know. I wasn’t even sure if I could even tell Salvador. It would have been a huge conflict of interest since she was seeing him too. Plus, wouldn’t he have to report her? What would it have looked like if the girl who cried rape (whether it was true or not) was sent to the office for sexual harassment? Would anyone believe me? What kind of attention would I get from this? It just seemed to make more sense to keep this to myself.

“Thanks.” I emotionlessly told Nicole.

She was visibly upset by the time we had gotten to the council, and all things considered, I should have cared about that, but I didn’t. I just felt… lost. Distant. Nothing really seemed to faze me. I didn’t notice much. Given this, I missed the fact that Megan wasn’t present, and also the fact that everyone was speaking about it.

I was broken from my trance by Phil repeating my name over and over. I shook my head and snapped to attention.

“Huh?” I lazily murmured.

“Do you know where she is?” Phil asked me.

I shivered as I thought of May. “Who?” I asked.

“God damn, dude.” Phil uttered disappointedly. “Megan. I was asking if you and she shared fourth period class.”

“Uh, no, we don’t. Sorry.”

“Well, do you know where her locker is?” Phil gestured towards me. “Get what I’m saying? Go look for her, man.”

“Right.” I replied, practically in a daze, as I stood up and stumbled out the door, ignoring any look Nicole shot after me.

I was like a zombie as I walked through the hallway. Nothing on my mind, nothing on my face, no real motivation to my walks.

Also no Megan. She wasn’t near her lockers at all. Crap… I scanned my brain. Did she ever tell me what she had fourth period? All I had with her was geography.

I was left with scanning the halls for her. It wasn’t as painful as I had thought – despite Hazelwood having a crap-ton of classrooms, it only took two seconds to realize a classroom was empty. Room by room, floor by floor, I scanned and scanned until I wondered if Megan had just forgotten and went home or something… Nah, couldn’t have. Matt was there.

I had just about given up until reaching the third floor. I was nearing the end of rooms to check until I heard a strange noise coming from… my geography room. Familiar noises.

Oh, come the fuck on. Sex noises. I could see what Salvador was getting at now – everything sex-related was just becoming a bother at this point. Alright, fine, I knew Megan. She could… get like this. After listening a little bit longer, I could definitely match the more feminine groans to her. Which poor unsuspecting freshman had she propositioned this time?

Trying to be as subtle as possible, I tried to look through the glass of the door’s window without giving myself away, and even with all the shit that I had been through even in the last couple of days, I wasn’t steeled for the sight that met me.

Megan was getting banged by none other than my first period fucking teacher Mr. fucking MacDonald.

Chapter Fifteen

In the moment I felt a very odd surge of gratefulness. For every sexual event I bared to witness, I got to enjoy many moments gleefully. Innocently. Maybe this was what Salvador was getting at – maybe I was biased given the weekend, but my God, sex was becoming just… stupid.

You know what? It was stupid. Comically stupid. The teacher, who had adult responsibilities, thought it was actually okay to have intercourse with a student. Mr. MacDonald had some fucking nerve. I got chastised every week by Salvador for wanting sex. May basically had her way with me, throwing my comfort away in the name of having a quickie. And this bastard thought it was okay to have sex with Megan? No! No, fuck him!

My thoughts carried me forward. I barged into the geography room, deciding subtlety was for chumps. “What the fuck is going on?!” I demanded.

It was a rhetorical question. I looked everywhere but in the direction of the red-handed duo as they had their panic attacks and scrambled to gather their clothing. No one said a word until I decided to speak up again.

“No, really, I wanna hear it from you two!” I asked with rage I didn’t know I had. “What the sheer fuck is going on here?!” I looked in Mr. MacDonald’s direction, who had finished putting his pants on and was now hastily putting on his stupid Hawaiian shirt. “You are a fucking teacher here! You know exactly how old Megan is! Congratu-fucking-lations on being a god damn criminal!”

I turned towards Megan, who gathered her clothing but looked too scared to put it on. “And you.” I readied myself for the storm that was coming. “Was the whole fucking school not enough for you, you god damn slut? I don’t even need to hear the story to know you instigated this. Are you trying to get him fired? Because good fucking job. How could you be so… stupid?!”

Megan welled up and started to blink rapidly to stop her tears from flowing. It didn’t work.

“Right now a student council meeting is going on. How in the world did you think we wouldn’t notice you being gone?! I was sent to find you, and I’m not having a good day as it is. But by all means, thanks for fucking it up even further! Imagine if fucking Matt was sent to look for you.”

Megan was looking down at the floor, avoiding me, avoiding responsibility. “Go on, imagine it!” I yelled into her face. That broke the dam. Megan was crying uncontrollably, so much so that her limbs gave out and she stumbled for a chair.

One down, one to go. I turned my attention back to MacDonald, who was fully clothed and sitting at his desk, his head in his hands. “What’s wrong, does it not feel good?” I asked rhetorically. “In your classroom too. You smug fucks.”

Mr. MacDonald lifted his head from his hands. “Now hang on.” he finally broke his silence. “You don’t get to talk down to a teacher like tha-”

I had too much bullshit this week to listen to yet another condescending Salvador speech. “And you don’t get to fuck your own students, champ!” I retaliated furiously. This was, without a doubt, the boldest I had ever been in my life. “What the hell were you two thinking?!”

“W-we… we…” Megan tried to choke out, her tears giving her a serious stutter.

I folded my arms. “You what?” I demanded.

“W-we, we w-won’t do it a-again…” Megan barely choked out.

I pulled my head back and laughed hysterically in a way that scared even me. “No shit you won’t do it again! This is a fucking statutory rape! You’re a teacher!” I pointed at Mr. MacDonald, who was noticeably fidgety. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t report this, chief!”

Mr. MacDonald’s eyes were moving so fast it’s like he was entering a R.E.M. cycle. “I…” he stuttered.

“Well, you don’t have a good reason!” I barked. “You’re expected to hold responsibilities at this school! Who the hell do you think you are? What would your god damn wife say?!”

“I’m not married.” he said, the first thing he was able to say with any confidence since I barged in.

I blinked twice. “Well alright then!” I barked. “Great! That solves everything! No wrongdoing here! I’m not married!” I started to parade my way down the aisle of desks. “That makes everything better! Whoppee! No school rules, or laws, broken here!”

“P-please don’t tell anyone.” Megan begged.

“Why? What’ll you give me if I don’t, Megan? Blowjob?” I squatted down next to her desk. “Is that why you’re in here? What the fuck do you owe him?”

“I’m not okay.” Megan managed to tell me.

I looked her in the eyes for the longest time. “You’ve got that right.” I said with disgust, getting back up. “Get the fuck dressed. You have a council meeting to go to.”

“So this is staying with us?” Megan asked hopefully.

“I don’t fucking know!” I answered incredulously, waving my arms around. “Just get dressed! If we take too long other members are gonna come look for us, and I sure as hell don’t want to be caught up in all this!”

Again, I thought bitterly. Student council members sure were magnets for trouble.

At that moment, the devil on my shoulder entered my head, planting thoughts in my mind. If I didn’t want trouble, I could just shut up and this event would go away. I was the only witness to this event, so if I didn’t want drama, all I had to do was not start it.

I walked angrily and energetically down the aisles of desks like a madman as Megan got dressed. “You know what?” I asked them rhetorically, adopting way more easily to this creepy Heath Ledger Joker persona than I would have presumed in a million years. “Yeah, okay. Here’s what’ll happen. People like fucking you – “ I pointed at Megan, “ – are giving me a headache as it is, so I don’t need another huge event like this on my hands. So here’s what’s going to happen. Nothing. I’m not gonna blackmail you, I’m not gonna report you, but this fucking ends, today, here and now. I hope you’re fucking watching Megan, Mr. MacDonald, because this is the last time you’ll ever see Megan naked, ever. Now we’re going to get dressed, leave, and never speak of this again, right, Megan?”

Megan nodded her head.

“What about you, sir?” I asked, sarcasm dripping from my voice. “You got it?”

Mr. MacDonald was not happy with my attitude, but realized there was nothing he could do about it. He was downright scared. He was scared of me. I hated to admit it, but a part of me liked it. I was powerful.

“We have an agreement.” he accepted.

“Fantastic.” I sighed, then turned to Megan. “You dressed yet? No? The fuck is wrong with you?” I didn’t wait for her to answer. “I’m going into the hallway. Take more than two minutes to come out and I’m going to the principal. Say more than ‘goodbye’ to each other and I’m going to the principal.” I left the room in a huff, slamming the door with all of my might behind me.

I didn’t fucking care if Megan wasn’t okay. I wasn’t okay. I felt anger with her, but oddly, I also felt angry about her. It was like I was angry at whatever she was slowly turning into. I slumped against the wall. Megan was borderline more dangerous a creature than May. May knew what she was doing, but Megan was clueless. Somehow, even though I was never her target, that made her even more terrifying.

But May used me. Worse, May claimed I used her, then she used me. She didn’t care about my feelings. She was selfish. She abused me. …You know what? She fucking sexually assaulted me. I didn’t give consent. That’s how it works with girls, right? Why the fuck should it have been any different with me?

I was taken out of my thoughts by a tear-soaked Megan quietly shutting the door behind her. Fully clothed, fully embarrassed. “Let’s go.” she quietly said. I nodded, pushed myself off of the wall, and we began our journey in silence.

We were about halfway there when I sighed, then looked at Megan and snapped. “No, you know what? No.” I forcefully pinned Megan against the wall. “What the fuck is your deal?” I growled.

Megan was taken completely off-guard and was as terrified as ever. “…What?” she managed to ask.

“When I set you up with Carson, I didn’t think I was enabling you to become the school’s communal piece of sex meat.” I raged. “Not even the fucking students are enough for you. The teachers. The fucking teachers, Megan. How sick and twisted is that?”

Megan said nothing, and looked at my arm that pinned her to the wall instead of my eyes.

“Was I right in assuming you were the one to proposition him?” I asked her.

Megan bit her lower lip and nodded. I let go of her and walked a circle around the halls. “Why?!” I demanded. “You get with every boy you lay eyes on. You try to get into a threesome at a party, with a dude that, may I add, I bet you don’t know. You have sex in the grimy school halls. You jeopardize a teacher’s fucking career to play on his primal instincts. What is it?!” I fired at her. “Are you manipulating guys? Are you addicted? What’s your goal here?!”

Megan, again, had her lips sealed. I sighed angrily. “Would you just tell m-”

“I’m thinking about it!” she hissed sharply, trying to battle her tears again.

“Okay.” I backed off defensively. I’d already yelled at her a lot, I may as well have stopped if I was actually getting somewhere.

“I really don’t want to admit this right now. Not with you like this.” she finally concluded.

“Admit what?” I asked, my tone softening.

“I was trying to…” she began, then sighed and looked away.

“No, come on, what?” My tone had returned to normal.

“I wanted to… to mimic how it felt with you. My first time.”

This made zero sense. “Mimic?” I asked her. “What do you mean?”

“I loved it. I love you.” Megan sharply replied, tears growing again in her eyes.

This was stupid. Too fucking stupid to be real. “You love me?” I asked her, my tone reflecting how stupid I found that to be. “That’s why you fuck every dude you find? Because you fucking love me?”

“Oh, I’m sorry if you don’t want me to! It’s just the truth!” she replied harshly with a tone that could break Scrooge’s heart. She grabbed me and buried her head in my shirt, sobbing. “I love you…” she repeated as she cried uncontrollably.

As stupid as it sounded, I felt like an ass. I just spent the last little bit tearing into her for being a slut when, if I was understanding her correctly, she was being just that because she wanted to have me but… knew she couldn’t or something stupid. I mean, we had sex relatively recently and if she jumped me, I wouldn’t have said no. Was this her way of coping with the fact that I didn’t think of her as much more than a sex toy? Making herself a universal sex toy?

I was taken out of my thoughts by my phone ringing. Lightly pushing Megan off of me, I took out my phone. Nicole was calling me. Yay.

I pushed the ‘accept’ button.’ “Yeah?” I asked humorlessly.

“The council meeting is almost over. If you two snuck into the hallway for a quickie, I’m going to be angry. You should take council more seriously.” The condescending voice of Nicole greeted me.

Of course. More fucking sex. “Oh, shut the fuck up.” I told her, then shut off my phone before she could respond.

I looked back to Megan, who had her back up against a locker with her eyes closed. I stared at her for about five seconds, then sighed.

“I’m sorry.” I admitted. I took her hand in mine. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”

“Yeah.” she weakly responded, then pushed herself off of the locker again. We started walking back again.

I chuckled. “At least if I’m an asshole that might make you stop loving me so you can move on and find someone better.” I offered.

Megan just looked straight ahead. “I won’t stop loving you.” she told me sincerely.

I hope Megan didn’t see me roll my eyes. Sure she wouldn’t.

***

Nicole was surprisingly accepting of how much of a foul mood I was in, even after my outburst at her. Her understanding, it seemed, was only paralleled by her silence. Shortly after we arrived, the council ended, then devolved into a storm of gossip. It was a pretty juicy sight for the Gossip Machine to see the girl that was missing come back in tears, escorted by the guy she blew last semester to boot. The theories were all over the place. Frankly though, I didn’t care. I needed to leave.

Which of course I didn’t get to do. Once again Nicole had to do some favors and given my crappy mood, we both realized it was a recipe for trouble for me to tag along, so with the promise of coming back in half an hour, she left, leaving me sitting on the school’s front steps.

Sitting wasn’t doing me much good, so after a bit I just went inside and started to wander the halls. I had no goal in mind, I just wanted to stay in motion. I wasn’t really walking to any particular place, but a couple of minutes and a few awkward disingenuous ‘hello’s to passing custodians later, I found myself facing what the school referred to as the Spartacus room, the room where I did all of my working out.

Why not? I shrugged and entered the room. It was really cool of the school to keep it open for students, even if it meant an obnoxious security camera in the corner of the room in case of thefts.

With a calmness I didn’t have at the moment, I scanned the whole place. My eyes landed on a suspended sandbag in the middle of the room, and figured it was the best way to let off some steam. Opening the cabinet in the corner, I pulled out some sparring gloves and slowly put them on, walking with an ominously slow pace to the punching bag.

For the first twenty seconds, I stared at it and breathed. With every breath, my agitation grew, and yet my mind cleared. Eventually a picture started to appear on the punching bag.

I felt awful knowing what was materializing before me. It was, without a question, May. Her face. Her self-justified fucking grin. Her confident ‘fuck you’ eyes.

With unfound energy I took the first swing at the bag. Then another, and another. “Are you fucking happy now?” I muttered.

With every punch, I wound up more and more. I got more and more into it. “Are you!?” I demanded the bag. “You got what you wanted, so I hope you are!”

Smack. Smack. Smack. Each hit got louder as I hit with more force. “Why the fuck did you do it?!” I asked in a surprisingly small, hollowed, horrified voice. “Why did you?”

The sandbag was now noticeably swinging with each punch. “Tell me!!” I yelled angrily. “Did you like it?! Did you get pleasure from it? You fucking freak!”

I no longer saw the bag. I just saw May. “You’re a freak!” I repeated with a tone that could cut diamonds as I socked her in the jaw. “Fuck you, you stupid, selfish piece of shit! If you’re so insecure, why don’t you just move away then? Why don’t you just die?!” I sucker-punched her in the stomach.

I was punching like a madman. So much so that I was starting to lose energy. I blinked rapidly, noticing that it was becoming harder to see. tears. Tears were coming from my eyes. I wasn’t thinking about how I felt, though – that would have required me to stop. “How could you do this to me?!” I roared, getting closer to the bag. I was starting to lose my technique, my fury now becoming more prominent than my focus. I didn’t care how I punched her – as far as I knew, the more the better. “Kill yourself!” I wasn’t even aware that I was the person that was saying these things anymore. I wasn’t aware of how, after a bit, I was no longer yelling, just crying. Eventually, I collapsed on the floor, exhausted and furious, weakly hitting the floor with my fist every so often as I bawled my stupid little eyes out.

I wasn’t aware of how much time had passed – maybe five minutes, maybe ten… but I was calm. I was no longer crying. I was just staring blankly at the floor, nothing on my mind anymore. I sighed and took off the gloves, meekly standing up to put them away. I checked my phone to see Nicole wasn’t back yet, but I knew I didn’t have much time left at all.

In fact, I bet I had precious little time to compose myself, I thought with disgust as I headed to the shower area to splash some water on my face. I didn’t want people to see I was crying. As open as I was, I never wanted to talk about this with anyone. Because… they’d listen. They’d ask questions. Especially Salvador, I sure as hell couldn’t tell him for millions of reasons. I wanted him to just… leave me alone. I wanted everyone to leave me alone.

***

“If it makes you feel any better, I was no good at Spanish either.” Dad remarked as we drove to Carson’s.

“Oh good, it’s genetic.” I replied bitterly.

“I didn’t quite say that.” Dad said dryly, eyeing me as much as he could while paying attention to the road.

“What are you saying then?”

“I’m saying I didn’t pay attention as much as I should have.” Dad coolly said.

“And what, I’m not paying attention either? Just because you didn’t pay attention, that’s why your son is struggling?” I asked a little heatedly.

“Well, someone’s tightly wound today.” Dad raised one eyebrow. “Does this car have a sunroof above you by any chance? A few modifications and I’ll have an ‘eject’ button built just for these moments.”

I sighed. “Sorry.” I lamely said. “Yeah, I’m a little tightly wound.”

“I could see.” he nodded. “That would be why I didn’t get angry. Anger is best treated with openness and acceptance. Never forget that.”

Dad’s super rare serious moment. Did I have a camera on me? “Stupid things at school have been happening and I’m sick with them.”

“Does any of it have to do with withdrawal?” Dad asked me, half joking, half serious. “You lost your coping mechanism recently, after all.”

Dad was referring to the weed. Of course, in another way, he was kind of right, I bitterly thought as a vision of Nicole popped up in my head. “I’m sure that has some impact on it.” I honestly stated. “Mostly though it’s just current events. Stupid people making stupid decisions.”

“Well, we all do in high school, don’t we?” Dad lazily yet attentively continued to make conversation.

“Inexcusably stupid.” I continued. “At least, to me.”

“When did it start?” Dad asked.

“Around… last weekend.”

“So, a whole week. Have you discussed it with anyone?”

“Dad, I’d prefer not to-”

“I’m not asking you to talk to me about things you want to keep private.” he interrupted. “If there’s one thing I can pride on, it’s that I’ve let you live your life. My policy as a father is to only intervene when I think it’s absolutely necessary.”

“What’s my policy as a son then?” I asked out of curiosity.

Dad turned to me briefly. His eyes gleamed in that way that told me he was internally smiling. “You don’t have one. You owe me nothing. When you grow up, then you’ll have your own children. You’ll owe them instead.” He made a turn – we were almost at Carson’s. “I don’t want anything more from you than to have a happy life. I hope that you’ll feel the same way towards your children. You know the money we put away for college?”

I nodded.

“We’ve been saving up for that since you were born. Not because we think the investment will pay off or that you’ll repay us, but because we love you.”

I didn’t say anything and silence filled the car until I felt it stop. “This is the place, right?” Dad asked.

I took off my seatbelt and leaned over to the other side, giving dad a kiss on the cheek. In my earlier teenage years, I remember thinking kissing your parents was weird and never did it, particularly with such a poker-faced guy as Dad. Slight shock was evident on his face.

“I love you, dad.” I said warmly.

“Your friend may have seen that. How embarrassing.” Dad dryly commented.

“I don’t think it’s embarrassing for him to see I’m grateful for the best dad in the world.” I replied.

“I meant it was embarrassing for me.” Dad clarified. “I’m glad to see I rank higher than Darth Vader though.”

I opened the door and climbed out of the car, shutting the door behind me. I heard the window lower as dad half-shouted, “So when do you want me to pick you up?”

“Two, three hours?” I asked him. “I have my cell phone. Whenever’s convenient.”

“You got it.” Dad replied. “Feeling better?”

“Yeah, thanks.” I flashed him a thumbs-up. he flashed his own and started to drive away.

Dad was correct – I needed to talk to someone. I couldn’t even talk to Salvador about this, and all of this bottling up crap was doing me no favors. I never thought needing to talk to someone would bring me here, but here I was, in the most unlikely place, fixated on talking to the most unlikely person.

I knocked on the door to find a familiar scenario. The door opened slightly, just enough for me to see two judging, cold eyes scan me over. “Here to see Carson?” Jenna asked.

“That’s usually why I’m here, isn’t it?” I asked her rhetorically. She opened the door and wordlessly let me in. Once I was inside, I cleared my throat nervously. “Actually, this time I’m here for a different reason.”

“What reason?” She asked, caution in her tone. I briefly wondered what had happened to make Jenna so distrusting and aloof.

“I’m in over my head.” I began. “I’m in a weird situation, involving girls. For… reasons, I can’t talk to the people I normally talk to. We maybe don’t see eye to eye, but…” A sharp look from her made my words get caught up in my throat. “Well… y’know, I… I didn’t know who I could talk to. Bottom line, I’m stuck and would appreciate a female viewpoint.”

Bewilderment filled Jenna’s eyes. It was clear she didn’t expect this in a million years. Her eyes glossed over and eventually she was looking not at me, but down at the carpeting of the living room behind me, lost in her own thoughts. Eventually, her eyebrows slowly raised and she shrugged. “Um, sure.” she said, her voice mellow to combat her evident confusion. “Sit down, I guess.”

I took a seat at the kitchen table and helped myself to an apple from a basket in the center of the table. “So what’s going on?”

I sighed. “Okay. Here goes. Do you remember the situation with the three girls?”

She cocked her eyebrow. “If they feel violated I’m not going to entertain the thought of defe-”

“For God’s sake, Jenna.” I whined. “None of them feel violated or raped or whatever. This is an internal problem. This is a ‘me’ problem. If I thought this was an issue I would get crucified by you for, I wouldn’t have asked to speak with you.”

“Then what is this ‘you’ problem?” Jenna asked, eyes narrowing inquisitively.

I explained the situation, in stupid and incriminating detail, about Megan. The only detail I left out was which teacher Megan had sex with, as I was sure Jenna would seek justice for her. Sure enough, Jenna paused my story for around five minutes to attempt to grill me for the teacher, with no luck. Now clearly upset, she allowed me to continue, where I explained May’s encounter with me in the park, emphasizing how she came on to me and how I did not consent.

“I’m not looking for you to agree with me on the whole consent thing though.” I concluded. “I know your beliefs with males and consent and… well, frankly, I think it’s stupid, but whatever.”

“You’re not doing a great job of winning me over if you want my advice.” Jenna interjected coldly.

“Here’s the thing: Remember how I told you about Nicole a while ago? Back when I first spilled the beans about May and Megan too?”

Jenna nodded. “You used her easy persuaded nature for easy sex.”

“Sure. Fine. Whatever.” I spat. “One time, she said, clear as day, ‘I love you’ when we were… doing it. I was kind of weirded out, right? Especially knowing Nicole. But then – she said it again. She even repeated it, a bit of time later.”

“How much later?” Jenna asked.

“I don’t really remember.” I confessed. “But she said it multiple times, so I wasn’t just hearing anything. Now, Megan. When I confronted her about why she did it, she said, and I’m not making this up, that she wanted to ‘mimic the feeling of being with me.’ She said it was because she loved me. It took a lot for her to say it too, at least it looked like it. Then, May, she did what she did because she said she loved me and thought that if I loved her back, I wouldn’t have stopped her. Three girls said they love me. The only three girls I’ve had sex with. What… like… what does it mean?”

“The three girls saying they love you?” Jenna asked, making sure she understood.

I nodded. “Is there something I’m missing here? This whole thing feels… wrong or cheap or something. It just doesn’t sit well with me. Especially the last part. I know you don’t think May… raped me or anything, but imagine I was a girl and May was a guy. Just do me a favor and imagine it if it helps you live in my world.”

Jenna sat up and cleared her throat. “Well, first of all, I can’t imagine that, since the fact that she has a female brain and you have a male one is important to this.”

Of course. Why did I expect any different?

“If the three girls said with confidence that they love you, I think you should trust their feelings. Women are very in-tune with our emotions.”

“Do you honestly think they actually love me?” I asked, not expecting her answer.

“That’s a loaded question, at least in the way you phrased it.” she criticized me. “Offhand, I’d say they at least think they do. Whether they actually do can’t be answered just by telling me and looking for my answer.”

“That makes sense.” I accepted. “The whole ‘the truth comes from inside’ thing?”

“Sure, if you’d like.” she answered.

“Okay.” I nodded, trying to make sense of it. “I guess I could see something like that. After all, I’ve had an impact on all of the girls, and they had an impact on me.”

Jenna shrugged, still keeping eye contact with me.

“And I can definitely relate. I think I’m actually developing strong relationships with all of them, even if they can be… negative.” I continued, then chuckled. “This may sound silly given the story I just told you, but I think that I am in love with-”

“You’re not.”

Five seconds of silence fluttered around us. “You’re not even gonna let me finish my sentence with this one, huh?” I asked with a huff.

“You shouldn’t get yourself confused. These girls are objects to you, and the way you secure them isn’t unlike a predator-prey relationship. Whatever ‘love’ you think you feel is actually a desire to keep a particular girl to yourself so you can have her whenever you want.” she informed me.

“It sounds like you just described May, not me.” I annoyedly noted. “Is there any reason you have to back this up other than the fact that I’m a dude?”

“This all stems from male dominance and attempted ownership of females. It’s primal, all men do it.” Jenna continued.

“All males, huh? Even asexuals and gay men? They own females too?” I asked, hoping to catch her.

“Even then, the more feminine of the two is usually the one expected to submit. Even without relationships the patriarchy is still evident in our economic and legal systems.”

“Oh, so the wage gap is why May can’t possibly have raped me, huh?” I laughed to myself. “I have no clue why I thought talking to you was going to be a good idea.”

“If you can’t handle the truth, don’t ask me.” Jenna said with a subtle hint of smugness in her condescending voice.

“Jenna, I always appreciate hearing the other side’s point of view, but wow, fuck you.” I stated exasperatedly. “You just took what keeps me up at night and denied it ever happened because a girl did it to me. You managed to take a traumatic event and erase it from your reality because it doesn’t fit your agenda. You’re telling me my feelings don’t matter basically because of what sex I was born, something I can’t control. Isn’t this exactly what feminists should be fighting against?!”

“First of a-”

“I’m not finished.” I growled. “You also took the word of three girls saying ‘I love this guy,’ without any kind of doubt that they at least think they mean it. As you yourself mentioned, you weren’t even given much to go on. Now I say it and you immediately deny it, all because of what’s between my legs. No wonder so many people hate the word ‘feminist.’ You give them a bad name. A terrible name. You paint me as the bad guy not to right injustices, but to invent them. You erase rapes because they undo your point. You refuse to accept the other side because it forces you to admit that you’re wrong about something. Was this ever about equality for you, or was it about you getting your way? Call the Carter family a bunch of misogynists all you want – the biggest sexist of the family is sitting right there.” I pointed to her.

She sat there with her lips pursed, all the while attempting to make interjections the whole time. “Are you finished?” she finally asked.

“Yes.” I admitted sourly.

“Go ahead and yell at me all you want.” she replied, looking down at the table. “You’re only proving my point.”

I stared at her in disbelief for around ten whole seconds, a very long ten seconds, before giving up entirely. Unable to conjure up words to describe how stupid this situation and her arguments seemed, I slunk away from the table and started to trudge up the stairs. Shaking my head at what just happened, I knocked on Carson’s door.

Carson opened the door and blinked twice. “Hey, buddy.” he slowly greeted me.

“Hey, Carson.” I replied with a stupid amount of enthusiasm to hide my exasperation towards the previous conversation. “Can we hang out?”

“Uh, sure…” he responded, a little weirded out. “You know I have a phone, right? Or, like, a front door. Y’know… for knocking on.”

I shrugged. “Sorry. I’m in kind of a weird headspace right now.”

A sly grin formed on his face. “Oh yeah?” he asked me. “Well, fuck it, why not? You came to the right place, bruh. What do you wanna do?”

“I dunno.” I answered. “Whatever you wanna do.”

“Halo it is!” Carson replied energetically. “You’re gonna get your ass kicked. I’ve been practicing like nobody’s business.”

“Instead of doing homework?” I asked him humorously.

“What’s homework?” he asked, grinning. “Nice way of making me decide what we should do, by the by. You sound like a passive-aggressive girlfriend.”

We passed by Jenna as we entered the living room, who simply rolled her eyes and stomped upstairs. Carson whirled around. “What’s up her ass? She’s not usually a bitch this early into seeing me.”

“It’s Jenna. Who even knows?” I asked, trying to hide any anger in my voice.

Carson gave me a grin. “Good fuckin’ point.” he replied.

“So, what’s this about comparing me to a girlfriend? Need to get something off your chest?” I asked him as he set up the Xbox.

“You kidding me?” he asked me. “Why eat one dish when you have the whole buffet at your hands?”

“Well, I don’t have the buffet at my hands.” I replied, then shivered about how the three girls said they loved me. I guess in a weird way I did.

“I’m talking about me, dude.” Carson replied smugly. “The other day, I shit you not, the fucking school hallways. Me. Her. Bone town.”

“The school hallways?!” I asked incredulously, feigning interest and trying to push the picture of Megan getting boned by a guy old enough to be her dad out of my mind. “So did you get arrested or was this after hours?”

“Duh, of course it was after hours.” Carson rolled his eyes. “We had to keep most of our clothes on and keep quiet just in case, but she was super into it. Hot as all hell.”

“Where’d you do it? Hell, who’d you do?” I asked.

“Third floor.” he replied, referring to the second floor. As mentioned, the hallways were constructed weirdly, but I was now able to memorize it at least. “Her name’s Georgina. Super hottie.”

“Georgina… what? Do I know her?” I asked him.

He thought to himself for a second, then shrugged. “I have no fuckin’ idea. Besides, even if I asked, her mouth was usually too full to answer.” He gave me a wink.

“You’re a thousand percent charm.” I muttered disgustedly.

“Dude, you’d be the same if you were in my shoes.” Carson protested. He paused the game, dug into his pocket, and pulled out his phone. “Hold on. Do you wanna see her? I got a few pictures of her on my phone.”

“Well, that’s kinda inconsiderate, isn’t it?” I asked him. “I mean, I never met her, I didn’t ask her consent to see her or anything. Did you ask if you could share them?”

Carson stared at me, wide-eyed in confusion. “Dude, have you been talking to Jenna recently or something?”

“I’m just saying, shouldn’t you just ask her if she’s comfortable with being seen like that or something?”

“Oh, buddy, that’s cute.” Carson humored me, putting his phone back into his pocket. “But that’s not how it works. Trust me, she knows. This is how high school works. If she didn’t want me sharing the picture, she wouldn’t let me take it. If she has a stick up her ass about it, that’s her problem, not mine.”

I sighed as he unpaused the game and we resumed playing. Carson was an awesome friend, but I wasn’t sure how fun it was to be trapped between two sexists in the Carter household.

***

Eight days had passed since May had her way with me. I was too scared to talk to her about it, too sick of this shit to talk to Megan about it, too tired to talk to Salvador about it, too proud to talk to my parents about it, and talking to Jenna did me zero favors.

That’s probably what led me to Nicole’s house. I had the excuse of wanting to go to make sure she was better, and of course that was a part of it, but there was little point denying to myself the real reason why I was there.

I went through my usual routine of knocking, then doing my nervous shuffle as I waited. The possibilities ran through my head. Her parents answer. She answers, sick as a dog. She gets mad at me. Her parents get mad at me. She’s dead. Her parents are dead. Everyone’s dead. I’m dead.

I shook my head and deduced I needed to get more sleep. I focused back on the door in time to see Mrs. Baker open it. For the first time, she didn’t visibly grimace when she saw that it was me.

“Ah, hello, Adam.” she flatly greeted me.

“H-hello, Mrs. Baker!” I replied as coolly as I could. Talking to adults was still fairly difficult, especially given I had no clue what she thought of me. “I was just here to s-see Nicole. See if she’s better and all that. Y’know. Not like she needs to be better, mind you – just because she’s sick. Or if she’s sick. Maybe she got better. Which is why I‘m here.”

Her one eyebrow lowered as I continuously talked. “Well, it’s kind of you to check up on her.” she started. “She isn’t here right now though. She is feeling better, but decided to take a walk. She may be back soon.”

“Oh, okay.” I plainly responded. “Uh, thanks then! I guess I’ll come by later.”

She gave me a half-smile. “Take care!” she simply said before shutting the door. It was almost unnerving. She was… not unkind. She wasn’t Ghandi either, but it still was weird.

I had walked about halfway back home before a thought hit me and I spun around. I squinted due to the sunset hitting my eyes given the direction I was looking. I thought about it for a long time, then sighed, determination in my eyes. I started walking.

My mind was numb, no thoughts except the one in my head as I turned corners and kept walking with my shoulders forward until I reached a familiar-looking gate, with some gray carved stones beyond it. I ventured forward, looking for one of these stones to have “Baker” on it.

It wasn’t hard to find. It was the only grave with a fresh rose in front of it. Yet, there was clearly no one around me. I looked all around me – nothing. Just graves, walls and a building, what looked like a church, although it was clear this church was out of commission for quite a while. The way it was angled, I couldn’t see the entrance, though an obnoxiously blatant work of graffiti showed me that this house of worship was as dead as the rest of those resting here.

I was practically in a trance as I looked back to Mitch’s grave. Without thinking, I sat down at it and stared. For about a minute, all I did was stare at the word ‘Mitchell.’ What a world, I thought to myself. This guy was… a person. I wanted to be important to Nicole’s life, but I was practically a nobody when compared to this guy I never met. He was no one to me, yet the world to someone else. It was something I could say easily, but not truly understand. And now he was dead. He wasn’t feeling anything anymore.

What was it like to die? I stared deeper into the grave as if it was going to give me an answer. I tried to imagine it. I imagined black. Then I realized that wasn’t it. There wouldn’t be any black. There wouldn’t be a me to see the black. There would literally be nothing. It wasn’t like sleep. Mitch wasn’t coming back. He was just… not there. As if he never existed in the first place. The entirety of time would pass him… no, ‘it’… by, and soon everything would end. I’d be dead. I wouldn’t see any black either. I wouldn’t be able to do or think anything and the universe would just slowly die, and once it did, everything I ever worked for wouldn’t even be broken down into other atoms. It would just be gone. Nothing.

I jumped up to my feet. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable looking at the grave. I couldn’t imagine anything like that happening to someone I didn’t know…

…let alone someone I loved. Poor Nicole, I thought to myself, as if for the first time ever. I eyed the whole graveyard again and was able to confirm, she definitely wasn’t here.

Unless… My gaze drifted to the church. I walked around it and wasn’t surprised to find an open door. Gingerly, I opened it a little bit more and walked in.

The musty odor of ‘old’ filled my nose. I guess it may have been the wood rot and dust. I looked around to see empty pews, some hard-to-read rusted-over plaque about the Commandments on the wall, and an altar that had seen better days. I was glad to see that there was no graffiti on the inside of the building.

I slowly walked between the pews, enjoying the creak of the floor and the sensations of the old, stale building. Although, I realized after a bit, it was still well-lit. I followed the sunlight up to see there was a second floor that only spanned half of the area of the first floor, like some kind of indoor balcony. I looked to the back of the church and saw stairs.

I shrugged. I might get a better view up there. Plus, the first floor was pretty empty… maybe the second floor would yield better results.

Within seconds of reaching the second floor, my thoughts were confirmed. On the second floor, opposite the edge of the ‘balcony’ was a huge window letting in golden sunset light, and in front of it sat a silent, beautiful grade 11. I walked up the rest of the stairs and stood behind her for a few seconds.

“You really like to follow me, huh?” A disturbingly calm voice asked me.

“I…” I stuttered. I suddenly remembered, like an idiot, what she was like the last time I followed her here.

She sighed. “Don’t worry, I’m not mad at you.” she continued, seeming to read my thoughts. She patted the floor next to her. “The view is better up close.”

Slowly and calmly, I sat next to her. “Nice place you found.” I awkwardly said to her.

She turned to me, allowing me to see the dried tears on her face, and gave me a patient half-smile, totally devoid of her usual sassiness. “I used to hate this place.” she told me. “I would only come for Mitch, nothing else. But then I found this.” She gestured to the window. I could barely see the town through the slightly tinted glass, warped by age, although what I could see was admittedly beautiful. A golden-dyed town landscape crowned by a few hills in the distance.

I looked back and Nicole and noticed that she had her camera around her neck. Normally I wouldn’t have noticed since she took that thing everywhere, but I gave a small smile realizing that when I last saw her here, she wasn’t wearing it.

“Nice place to get a few shots?” I asked her sweetly.

“Yeah, and to think.” she admitted. “I don’t think I need to tell you that I was really uncontrollable when I came here in the past.” Silence filled the air for around half a minute and I heard a few sniffles. “I think…” she began, her voice giving away that she was on the verge of crying again, “that I’m getting over it. I’m no longer mad or volatile or anything when I come here. I think I’m getting over him, or, like, his death, and… that’s scary for some reason. I’m not ready to be over him.”

I didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry.” I offered softly.

“I want him back.” she added quietly. “I want to get angry every time I come here. It’s been getting harder and harder though. Now I just sit here and just stare at the sun until it’s gone.”

“Isn’t it good that you’re not getting angry though?” I asked her.

“What if it stops meaning anything?” she asked meekly. “What if every time I think of Mitch in the future I don’t care? I like getting angry. It helps me know that I care.”

“Do you still care about me when you get angry at me?” I asked her.

“Oh, don’t.” she replied, humor filling her voice for the first time today.

“No, I’m serious.” I continued. “I’m not good at dealing with angry people. I can deal with you because you keep getting angry with me only because you care. I’m sometimes a little intimidated by you because I don’t get you. You’re so committed to making me a better person. But if I don’t fuck up, you don’t get angry. Do you suddenly not care about me then, when the problems are gone?”

She rolled her eyes at me, then wiped the tears off of her face. “Way to make this moment all about you, squirt.” she told me sassily.

“I have a point though.” I answered confidently.

“Yeah, you do.” she replied, inching closer to me but still staring out the window. I followed suit, feeling comfortable with the silence we shared. Occasionally I’d look at her without turning my head, but she never altered her gaze, fixated on the townscape. I decided to follow suit, but over time, my head fell gently onto her shoulder.

She didn’t say anything. We sat there, looking out at the sunset together, thinking about nothing together. A few minutes passed, and her head slowly, almost fearfully reached forward, slowly descending on top of mine. I felt every part of her hand begin to touch mine as her hand sunk lower and lower until it was on top of mine. In response, in shock I turned my head towards her.

“Don’t you dare look at me.” she seriously threatened and my head shot back forward. At first I was worried, but then I smiled. I turned my hand around, allowing our hands to clasp. I heard Nicole loudly exhale as I felt her hand slowly close around mine.

We could have stayed there like that forever. After around 10 minutes though, the sun had just set and the church was beginning to lose light.

“We should probably start heading back, huh?” Nicole asked, her voice the quietest it could possibly be without being a whisper.

“Yeah, sure.” I agreed, my voice just as small. Both of us sat up, yet our hands remained together. Neither of us was willing to let go first. I smiled at the realization.

“Grow up.” Nicole remarked as she let go of my hand, rolling her eyes. “So, does this mean you’ll keep stalking me here?”

“Nah, I just…” I stopped. I didn’t want to talk to her about May here and now. Number one, she clearly had bigger problems. Number two, as stupid as it sounded, that moment we shared meant a lot to me. I didn’t want to spoil it.

“I just was nervous. I was wondering if you were going to freak out on me like last time.” I smoothly recovered.

She took the bait and evidently, my hiccup went unnoticed. She looked to the floor and sighed. “Whether it’s for the better or not, getting angry about this is behind me, hotshot.” she calmly told me.

“I couldn’t be sure.” I shrugged. “Maybe you’d say more stuff you’d regret later. Maybe you’d join forces with the council again to make me look bad.”

Nicole smiled devilishly at me. “Oh, don’t you fucking start.” she warned. “I could do a lot worse than that.”

“What the hell do you mean by ‘worse’?” I asked, following her down the stairs. “What could you possibly do that’s dumb? What, are you gonna plant a gun in my locker?”

Nicole rolled her eyes again. “Yeah, because trying to incriminate you with easily traceable firearms in a school that has video surveillance is a great idea.” she spat. “Give me a little credit here, squirt. What kind of cardboard poorly-thought-out cartoon villain could do that and expect to be taken seriously?”

“Well then, Danny Ocean, why don’t you tell me what you would do since you know everything about everything?” I retaliated.

“I don’t know everything about everything.” she grumpily mumbled.

“What’s the atomic weight of beryllium?”

“Nine point zero one two one eight two. Now fuck off.” she replied with a playful smirk.

We passed by the graves wordlessly and left the graveyard. Soon, almost too soon, we were back home and quickly agreed to go our separate ways for the night. I never got to tell her about May, but if things kept going the way they did, I wouldn’t even be upset anymore about it. I guess I was moving on from being mad too.

***

“Will Carson be upset that you’re ditching lunch with him to have it with me today?” Megan asked as we walked through the hallways together.

“Seriously, does he own me or something?” I angrily asked, my hands agitatedly flailing around me. “He’s not my husband.”

“Probably mostly because he could never settle down with anyone.” Megan humorously noted.

“Also because I’m not gay. Or him. Neither of us are gay.” I quickly added.

Megan cocked an eyebrow. “You’re quite quick to jump to your defense there.” she remarked.

I probably blushed a little. “Well, I mean, it’s true…” I mumbled.

Megan giggled. “How’s this?” she asked, pointing to a little area in an enlarged hallway leading to some kind of tech-oriented classroom. It seemed pretty cut off from the rest of the school. Hell, it looked pretty cut off from society.

I shrugged. “It works.” I told her, and we both sat down and pulled out our lunches.

I decided to be the first one to break the ice. “So, have you been a good girl?” I asked her. I’m sure I was playing right into her hands, but really this was the only way at this point to play the game without making either one of us upset.

“I’ve been a very good girl.” Megan smiled at me confidently, arrogantly in a playful way.

“No sex in the last seven days?” I asked her.

“None.” she simply answered with a smile.

“How does it feel?” I asked, hoping to get a response like ‘Happier, now that I know I’m not blowing any guy who asks just because I’m hung up on my first crush. Oh, and I’m not endangering any more jobs with the threat of an inevitable pedophilia accusation, so that’s cool, right?’

I was stupid. “Not fun.” Megan pouted. “I miss the feeling.”

“But doesn’t it…” I exasperatedly started, then caught Megan’s expression. I hesitated, then gulped down my words. “Actually, never mind. Forget it.”

“You’re upset with me.” Megan sadly remarked.

“I’m just fed up with basically everything having to do with that.” I crudely pointed to her vagina. “I mean, not just yours. Everyone’s. Sex is fucking dramatic.”

Megan thought to herself for a second. “You caused the drama a week ago, didn’t you?” she boldly asked. “If you were going to just let us off the hook, why did you come in at all?”

“Why did I- because you were banging a fucking teacher!” I practically yelled. Both of us instinctively looked around us after that outburst. Luckily, no one was around.

“Sorry.” I began. “Because if you weren’t caught, you were probably going to do it again.”

Megan groaned and hit her head against the wall. “Permission to put my head on your shoulder?”

“Granted,” I allowed. She shifted over and plopped her head down, face-first, onto my shoulder.

I felt a smile break out on her face. “Remember when I was so shy I was afraid to talk to you?”

I smiled back and started stroking her hair. “Yeah.” I replied. “Would you say you’re not shy at all now or something?”

She got up off my shoulder, her long hair completely covering her face. Nevertheless I could feel her smile still there. “What do you mean by that?” she asked me.

“You know exactly what I mean.” I gave her a wink. “Not a peep out of you in the classroom. Never more than twelve words until we’re alone.”

Megan shrugged and brushed the hair out of her eyes. “I’m just very selective about who is worthy of my time, of course!” she declared.

I stared at her, one eyebrow down. “Yeah, that’s it.” I responded dryly, then turned my attention to the hallway. Out of the corner of my eye, a figure was approaching. And approaching rapidly. “Oh no.”

“What?” Megan asked, following my gaze until she too saw Matt. “Oh no.” she repeated.

I could do nothing but stare as Matt stormed towards us. “If I have to tell you once, I have to tell you a million god damn times. Get away from her.” he roughly told me. “I thought we had an understanding.”

“Hey, we’ve done nothing together since we talked. Now I have to stop talking to her now too?” I asked him.

“I don’t care what you’re doing. I don’t want you near my sister. You’ve done awful things to her, and worse, you’ve made her like you so she’ll support you. If someone doesn’t step in I don’t know whose sister or daughter you’ll be perverting next.”

I chuckled in disbelief as I stood up, with Megan following. “So what, I’m just gonna start a prostitution ring in the school? Is that my plan, Matt?”

“Oh, shut up. I never said that.” he dismissed me. “No one could pull that off anyway. See, you’re just a freshmen. Of course you’ll think such a stupid idea is possible, but some of us actually know how high school works and how well-tuned our teachers are to what’s going on in the school. Example A, you think you can do things to my sister after school and it won’t go unnoticed.”

“It… did go unnoticed until she told you.” I slowly responded.

“Yeah. Exactly. The truth always comes out. How about you start too? Tell us about why you’re just using my sister. What you’ve done to her. How you can sleep at night, you little fuck.”

“Matt, please can this just stop?” Megan pleaded him. “This isn’t helping anything.”

“Megan, shut up.” Matt barked, rolling his eyes. “You don’t even understand what he did to you. What would the Megan I knew back in September say to you if she could see you now? Skipping classes, having intercourse with strangers at parties…”

Riding teachers, I thought with an invisible smirk.

Megan shifted uncomfortably as she stood, not caring to answer.

However, that didn’t stop me. “Well, the old Megan sure wouldn’t say much, seeing how shy she was. Yet this Megan isn’t. Is that really a bad thing? Think about it. What if this is just a natural part of her-”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, shut up.” Matt interrupted. “Why do you always feel the need to give these condescending speeches to everyone you think is wrong?”

Because it was practically how I was raised this year, I grumpily thought to myself.

“‘Natural’? Are you insane? This is stupidly unhealthy. You’re fucking turning my sister into a slut.” he continued.

“I’m not that.” Megan spoke up.

“Fucking really? How many guys have you slept with then? When do I get to call you a slut? How many guys will it take before you’re as disgusted as I am with you?!” Matt roared. Matt was yelling in Megan’s face. This… wasn’t supposed to be happening. This was wrong.

“Holy shit Matt, you fucking bully. Stop yelling at your own sister for her life choices.” I slowly, threateningly told him.

Matt stopped and turned to me. “Oh, I’m a bully, am I? I am the bully here?”

“Yeah, you kind of are.” Megan timidly contributed. “Adam makes me feel better about myself.”

“Even if she’s having sex, she’s more secure in who she is as a person.” I continued. “Even if this is a phase she’s going through, as a brother you should be telling her you love her. Maybe helping her work through it. Not telling her you’re disgusted by her.”

“What the fuck, man?” Matt recoiled. “Putting words in my mouth and shit. I never fuckin’ said I was disgusted by her.”

“You did. Just now. It hurt.” Megan simply said, keeping her head down.

Matt’s gaze blanked as he thought for a second, then his eyes widened. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He coughed nervously, then came back in full force. “Y’know what, sure. If my sister is behaving in destructive ways, she needs some tough love. I am her brother. I’m supposed to protect her.”

“From guys like me?” I asked sarcastically.

“Is that even a question? Of course from guys like you!” Matt spat. “What am I supposed to do, just ignore it and tell her it’ll all work out? What kind of shitstain brother would do that?”

“Mitchell ‘shitstain’ Baker comes to mind.” came a voice from behind us.

Before the enlarged hallway there was a staircase. Standing on that staircase, leaning on the railing, with a rather calm expression on her face, was Nicole. “In fact, he did that with me,” she continued, walking relaxedly down the rest of the stairs, sauntering up to our group. “Right after he caught me blowing some guy. Told me I was precious the way I was, that he didn’t blame me. That he still loved me. That I didn’t need validation from guys, but could still go after them if that made me happy, as long as I was careful.” She stopped right in front of Matt. “Sound familiar? It probably should. I told you that story when we passed his room, after something around the fifth time we fucked.”

At that, Megan sharply gasped and her hands flew in front of her face.

Nicole stifled a grin. “Whoops. Did I make you seem like a hypocrite in the middle of your big argument? Please, go ahead and continue.”

Matt said nothing. He just stood there, his face getting redder, his fists clenching.

Nicole took that as a sign to continue. “I’m guessing I shouldn’t make you look worse then. Like mentioning how you were fucking girls on the side in grade nine. Or the kinks you enjoyed when we fucked.” A grin that was without a doubt evil crossed her face. “Be a good boy and I won’t say out loud what you told me after the first time we did it.”

“Fine!” Matt blurted out, fear in his voice. “You win. I’m stopping, okay?”

“I don’t win here, Matty.” Nicole replied with a fake innocent look on her face. “You just lose. You don’t get to tell Megan what to do even without what I know about you. You’re going to let her live her life and support her, not drag her down from your ivory tower. You got that? If this ever happens again, I’ll find out, and I’ll be sure to remember my promises.”

Matt was not one bit pleased with the situation, but whatever Nicole was holding over him must have been monumental. Plus he already lost by virtue of being a hypocritical prick. All he could do was open and close his sweaty fists a few times before beginning to stomp away.

His steps were cut short by a quick, powerful whistle from Nicole meant to capture his attention. Looking away from him, she outstretched one arm with her finger pointed towards him in the ‘come hither’ motion. “One more thing, get back here.”

Matt looked like he was ready to explode. With one eye twitching, he hesitantly and embarrassedly walked towards Nicole with her keeping up the motion until he was essentially touching her outstretched hand. She had him by the balls, and both of them knew it.

Without warning, Nicole grabbed him by the shirt and literally pulled him off of the ground, her arm angled so that her knuckles, dug into his chest, were the only thing supporting him in the air. It took one astonished look at Megan to see that Matt wasn’t the only one surprised by her strength.

“If you ever so much as imply that Mitch was anything other than the best brother again, I’ll personally rip your teeth out one by one and send a video of it to your parents. You should feel embarrassed to call yourself a brother next to him.” Nicole fiercely hissed with such speed and articulation that she made Eminem look like he had a stutter. With a flare in her eyes, she flicked her hand outward, throwing him to the ground. He landed with a frankly concerning thud.

“Are you too hurt to stand up?” Nicole harshly asked him immediately, barely after he hit the floor. She didn’t wait for an answer and immediately followed with, “Then beat it!!” Poison practically dripped from her words. Matt quickly scrambled to his feet and ran as fast as he could out of there.

Nicole turned to us, still having a wild look in her eyes. I’m sure she could easily tell both of us were scared. Not just scared, we were scared of her.

She slowly raised her hand to point at me. “Quit getting involved in ‘holier-than-thou’ fights with people.” she told me breathlessly, clearly tired from what she did to Matt. “It’s seriously getting old. Just leave next time, there’s no need to debate. Just let things like this be dealt by people who don’t fuck up everything they touch.”

“Nicol-”

“I didn’t tell you you could speak, did I?” she contested me. “Don’t start with me. I have plenty I’m holding over you too.” She lowered her hand and began to walk away, walking backwards towards the stairs so that she didn’t break eye contact with me to make a point.

Even after she was gone, Megan and I were frozen for about twenty seconds. Eventually, we calmed down enough that we sat back down. “What was that?” Megan finally timidly asked me.

“I have no clue.” I honestly answered her.

“I mean Matt didn’t even directly mention her brother.” she continued.

“I know.” I nodded. I had a feeling it’s because Nicole saw herself in Megan, but I don’t think it would have helped to tell Megan that.

“Does she ever get like that with you?”

“Once. Kind of.” I answered. “Not really like this. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her hurt someone before.”

“I hope he’s okay.” she mumbled, feeling okay enough to pick up an apple.

“Even after all that?” I asked her. “He said he was disgusted with you.”

Megan smiled sweetly. “If Matt told me that he didn’t love me anymore it wouldn’t change how I see him. He’s still my brother. He can be abrasive but I think it comes from a place of meaning well. If the Lord says judge not, who am I to presume the devil in people?”

Something told me Jesus had better things to do than berate a freshman girl for appropriately getting angry when her brother was being a dick to her but whatever. “Lust is one of the deadly sins.” I reminded her.

“That’s why I’ve been a good girl.” she pointed out. “I’m doing what I can to keep it down.”

“Is it that tempting?” I asked curiously.

“I would mount you right now if we weren’t in a public place.” Megan said a little too casually, eating another bite of her apple.

“So much for being a good girl.” I chuckled to myself. For a minute or so, we ate our lunches in silence, before I noticed that Megan, scooted up next to me, was looking at me, something familiar in her eyes.

I tried to ignore it the first few times I saw it. As I did, though, Megan began to successfully worm her way into my head. It’s true, I found her attractive as all hell. Her innocent exterior complimented her inner sex demon deliciously, and the fact that she had such a perfect little face with her small nose, brown doe eyes and beautiful shy smile pulled it altogether.

Eventually we were staring at each other, the space between us closing. A warm rush filled me. It felt so pathetic to say this, but… I actually wanted it this time. I felt so good to actually want it. With Megan I felt safe. Valued. Secure. Wanted.

And I wanted her.

“Did you miss me?” Megan asked, her voice quiet and delicate. “I missed you. I never meant to make you upset.” Her hand slowly worked its way onto my shirt, then up until it reached my neck. “I just want to make you happy.”

“You do make me happy, Megan.” I breathily told her.

“Then tell me.” she demanded. “Is there anything I can do for you? Anything at all?”

No more words were exchanged. Our eyes, and the desire that filled them, said enough. As soon as our lips touched, it was like we could communicate without ever using words. Our first kiss was delicate, soft, moving. Then the next one was a little more passionate. Our next one was more wild. Then when I split her lips with my tongue, we got downright lustful. Each one sent a surge of adrenaline rushing down my whole body from my lips to my toes.

It had been so long since I had sex, considering the fuck-like-a-rabbit life I lived so shortly ago. It was silly to think at freshman year that I was missing having a sex life, but here I was. And Megan cared. She asked, she had my interests at heart. It occurred to me that nobody’s naked body was sexier than that. She wanted me. Not only that, she wanted to please me. Even if she wasn’t my fucktoy, she was always mine.

Another warm rush filled me. I wanted to return the favor. I wanted to make her feel good too. I ended the kiss abruptly and stood up, looking around near us before grabbing her and daringly pinning her to the wall.

I slowly licked up the side of her neck, ending at the ear, which I slowly nibbled on. “Being a good girl is overrated, isn’t it?” I whispered gruffly.

“Yes,” she whispered back, lust painting her voice.

“Then maybe you should find us a private place, shouldn’t you?” I let go of her and let her take a few steps before winding up and slapping her cute shorts-covered ass.

Megan yelped then contained a giggle as she skipped along, her cheeks showing the hint of a blush. I followed, keeping a good pace but trying to seem as calm and confident as I could.

Eventually, the familiar sight of a janitor’s closet entered my view. Megan walked up to it, opening it gingerly. When the door opened to reveal no one, she beamed at me.

I couldn’t help but grin. The more things changed, the more they seemed to stay the same, but I had to admit, Megan had this unique sexiness about her I couldn’t help but notice. I looked around to make sure no one was around, and luckily enough, no one was noticing us.

I was relieved until I realized how odd that was. No one was around. During lunch, probably the tail end of lunch. In a locker-filled hallway. I took out my phone to check the time, and realized that it was two minutes after class started.

I looked back up to Megan, whose smile had disappeared. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Class has already started.” I told her.

“Oh.” She shrank down in defeat and sadness. “Um, yeah, sorry.”

She began to close the door. Just before it closed all the way, my hand stopped her. Megan looked up at me, half in confusion, half in hope.

I leaned in close. “I’m going to miss history class for this.” I growled. “So my good little girl is going to make this worth it for me, isn’t she?”

Megan beamed again. “She’ll do whatever she can to get Master off.” she purred.

We both went into the room and picked up immediately where we had left off. Within seconds of the door closing my hands were tightly gripping Megan’s cute little ass and our mouths were glued to one another, our mutual desire and pent-up sexual frustration so powerful it would have given Oppenheimer a run for his money.

In the moment, I began to frustratedly rip Megan’s shirt

off before she pushed back on my chest, breaking the kiss for the first time. “I think I might need my shirt after this, Master.” she guiltily murmured.

“Do it quick.” I ordered. “Show me why I’ve missed you, baby girl.”

Megan smiled slightly as she began to pull her shirt over her head, going a little bit slower than usual to tease me. Soon she was only left in her bra, and as she began to undo it, her smile got bigger and she started to move her hips back and forth in an attempt to tease me.

The attempt was working. She was surprisingly good at strip-teasing, and I could do nothing but smile slightly, lean back against the wall and fold my arms as she continued.

Her hips had a beautiful rhythm to them, like she had a song playing for her and she was matching perfectly to the beat. I was at times horrified with what I did to Megan, but there was something so deliciously taboo about seeing this young, innocent girl in a grimy janitor’s closet giving a striptease for the man she called ‘Master.’ She was putty in my hands. I owned her, and she knew it.

She turned around and teased me some more, shoving her ass out at me as she reached behind her for the final time and undid her bra. It slid off effortlessly, but given her back was to me, I couldn’t see her boobs and she milked this moment.

“Anything you’d like to see, Master?” she teasingly asked me, an adorable smile on her innocent face.

“Turn around. I want to see them.” I commanded.

“My what, sir?” she asked, grinning.

“Your sexy, beautiful tits.” I gruffed, reaching forward and giving her a spank. “Your master gave you an order.”

“And I want to make my Master happy.” she obediently, submissively declared as she spun back around, her hands covering her nipples, and slowly slid them down.

There they were. Megan’s tits weren’t the biggest, but they could easily be seen by many as the best. Just the sight of them was enough to make me break my calm, collected persona and reach forward, pinning her to the wall as I encircled her nipple with my tongue. Her nipple, in turn, quickly became erect at my delicate yet forceful touch.

She was gasping already. I think it had been a long time for her too – she was evidently quite sensitive, and not in the mood to wait. Within seconds of me cutting the delicate act and latching on, I heard her adjusting her shorts and pulling them down enough that she could scratch that itch she needed so badly.

“Did I say you could do that?” I took my mouth off of her tit long enough to ask.

Megan hesitated. “…No, sir.”

“Then be a good girl and wait.” I ordered.

“But I want it so badly.” Megan whined. “Please, sir. I’ve been a good girl. I just want to enjoy myself while you do.”

I took my mouth off of her nipple again and looked her in the eyes for a few seconds. She couldn’t take it and looked away, and I smiled slightly. “So that’s what my pet wants, is it?” I asked her. “She just wants to get off?”

“I want to make you happy, sir.” she submissively declared. “But I would be so grateful if Master helped me.”

Slowly, agonizingly so, without saying a word, I got very close to her, and kissed her on the lips intently as I lowered her shorts and panties to the ground. “If that’s what she wants…” I mumbled, almost to myself, getting down on my knees. I motioned for her to spread her legs more apart. She did so, slightly embarrassed even now that my face was so close to her womanhood.

Much like her boobs, I was delicate at first. I extended my tongue forwards and barely touched her folds, licking away at the outsides, just giving her enough stimulation to make her want more. By the time I began to move inwards, Megan was practically dancing, she was so riled up.

When my tongue first made contact with her clitoris, she let out a surprisingly loud moan. I lifted my head up in surprise to see her wildly blushing.

“Just keep going.” she frantically begged. “Please keep going.”

My tongue flicked across her clit a few more times, each time rewarded with a worryingly loud moan. I realized if anyone walked by we’d be in big trouble, then a wonderfully terrible thought crossed my mind.

I discreetly grabbed her panties and stood up, putting my hands on her hips. “You’re being too loud.” I told her in a low voice. “We might need a gag for you.”

“A gag, Master?” she asked in a timid voice, and I simply held up her panties in response. Megan visibly gulped.

She looked to me as if for confirmation, and I only nodded. “Be a good girl for me.”

“I’m a good girl.” she repeated back, almost to herself. “I’m a good girl.” She took the panties from me and slowly, a part of her unsure, began to bring them to her mouth.

I had to admit the slowness and the look in her eyes was the first unsexy thing she had done since we got in, so I decided I didn’t need to watch the whole process. I got back down on my knees and told her, “I’m not going to continue until they’re in your mouth, slut.”

I didn’t look up at her face. I didn’t need to. A few seconds after, her empty hand came back down, her fingers nervously moving around. I took it as a sign of her being a good girl and dove back in.

I had to admit, porn stories I read online had really exaggerated how much panties actually muffle noises, but at least it was doing something. Now that we had some kind of insurance, I decided to let the real show begin. I only gave her another minute or so of foreplay before I truly let loose on her, showing her the athletic talent of my tongue. It twisted, explored, and spasmed in a systematic effort to reduce her to a quivering mess of muffled moans and sexy flesh, wearing nothing but her glasses and her shoes.

“A-Adam… M-master…” she moaned, her words jittery and dense. She wanted this for a long time now. She wanted me. And now she had me, and it was clearly everything she wanted.

“Adam… Oh my goodness… I love you so much… Oh…” she moaned out of control, grabbing the back of my head. I rolled my eyes as I continued to eat her out. I was lucky she told me this before, otherwise the shock of this revelation would probably have been enough to make me stop. It was very clear that Megan was close. I listened for every moan, and mapped her out in the moment, figuring out when to go slower, when to go deeper, and when to make her squeal with how rough I was going.

I was batting a thousand. Within a minute of my conscious efforts I practically felt the lightning surge through my pet as she had an earth-shattering orgasm powerful enough to make her weak in the knees. I barely was able to stop her from collapsing as she leaned against the wall and grabbed me with her hands to steady herself. I looked up and she was practically cross-eyed from how light-headed I’d made her.

I decided to let her relax as I eyed her well-tongued pussy. So delicate, fresh, and beautiful… Although I will admit the shape was a little unusual in a way I couldn’t even describe. I was taken out of my art examination by a faint ‘ptooie’ and a pair of panties hitting the floor.

“I’ll have to wear those later.” she remarked lamely.

“You always have the option to not wear them at all.” I offered with a grin on my face.

She returned that grin with one of her own as she reached for her fly. “Sorry, Master, that’s not really an option.” she purred. “Not with what’s about to happen.”

“Even after what just happened, you want more?” I asked, not resisting as she pulled down my pants.

“Your tongue is great, but there’s nothing I love more than the bare feeling of you inside me.” she sensually whispered. “Are you going to take your shirt off or would you like me to?”

“Let’s save some time.” I winked at her, before taking my shirt off and kicking my pants and underwear to the side. “You might want to take your glasses off.”

“Smart.” she nodded, taking them off and putting them on a shelf. “It’s unfortunate I can’t see how much hotter you’ve gotten, though.”

I chuckled and looked down at myself. Honestly, I hit a muscular peak a bit ago and there was really nothing new to be seen. “Nothing you haven’t seen before.” I commented. “Plus…” I gently spun her around and pushed on her back so she was leaning against the wall but her ass was still facing me, inviting me. “If you lose one sense, I heard that the others become a lot…” I lined my steel-hard cock up with her slit. “…stronger.”

“Mmmm…” she moaned. “Don’t tease me this time. I want you to have your way with me, Adam. Don’t hold back.”

I can’t imagine how lucky I was to have a girl who was telling me that. “If that’s what my good girl wants…” I groaned as I slid myself inside her.

Colors and musical chords filled my head. Just the feeling of being inside this sexy little minx was heaven on Earth. However, she wanted rough, and I was all too glad to give it to her. Gripping her hips she was just showing off to me, and putting them to good use, I drove myself into her, gaining speed until I was drilling her. She was a blur and was trying to contain herself, although her moans were still enough to drown out the primal sound of our hips slamming together and the faint squishing of me pounding into her saturated pussy.

I felt the need to cum almost embarrassingly quick. I guess being pent up for that long can do that to a guy. Luckily, Megan had lost virtually no sexual frustration from her first orgasm and sounded like she was on the same track as me. Grinning, I started to pick up speed.

I wanted to be eloquent. I wanted to be loquacious. I wanted to tell her, “If we keep up doing this, my sweet little pet, I’m going to fill you up soon.” That being said, we can’t always get what we want and the only thing I managed to do was wheeze out “Soon,” before five seconds had passed and I started emptying my load into Megan’s addictive little pussy.

I lasted for a few spurts then exhaustedly collapsed against her for a few seconds while she used the wall to support both of our weight. “Sounds like Master had a good time.” she giggled.

I faintly chuckled as I stood myself back up. “Did you finish?” I asked, savoring the moment of being inside her, being this close to her.

She turned her head and smiled sweetly. “No, but that’s okay.” she told me. “You took pretty good care of me beforehand. Plus, we’ll have more opportunities where we can spend more time making each other feel good, but I really need to get to English.”

Oh, shoot. Right. History. Mr. Anton wasn’t going to be impressed. Hastily, I removed my dick from inside Megan, enjoying the sight of her well-used pussy before she covered it up with her panties.

“Like what you see?” she teasingly asked, feeling around for her bra.

“Of course I do.” I replied, finding her bra next to me and handing it to her. “And, hey…”

Megan stopped dressing herself to look at me.

“Thanks. I know you’re usually the one to thank me and tell me how good it felt and all, but it felt really nice to do this and to enjoy it and feel like I’m valued and stuff.”

“You’re welcome.” Megan softly responded. “But… don’t you enjoy it and feel valued every time?”

“Oh, of course. I’m just saying, it’s nice.” I smoothly lied, trying to hide the shudder that came across when I thought of May.

***

“You sure you’re okay?” May asked me, leaning up against the locker next to mine.

“Yup.” I flatly responded, looking only at the contents of my locker.

May gestured a look of confusion with her hands. “So what, you’re just not going to talk?”

“I guess.” I replied simply.

“You don’t even want to know why I came over here?” she asked incredulously. When she wasn’t met with a response, she scoffed. “Wow. Okay.”

“Look, May, can it wait?” I pleaded, gathering the courage to look her in the eyes as I closed my locker. “I need to get to a student council meeting anyways.”

“Student council meeting, huh?” she pretended to think. “Sounds boring. Wouldn’t you rather we go find someplace private and you ruin my throat with your cock?” She was grinning devilishly. “And if you’re a good boy, maybe we can keep doing this. What do you say? Up for it?”

May didn’t even wait for an answer. She teasingly turned and started to walk. I’d way sooner meet up with Megan or Nicole or literally any other girl before before this piece of work, I thought bitterly to myself.

“Sorry, what was that?!” May heatedly asked me, whipping back around.

Shock hit me like a punch in the stomach. Shit, did I really just say that out loud? Fuck. I did my best to compose myself and just look at her without saying anything.

Silence poured through the air. “No. No, you don’t get to fucking say nothing after that. Tell me what you said.”

“I didn’t say anything.” I shrugged.

“Fuck you! Actually fuck you.” May had done a full 180 and was practically frothing at the mouth. “I heard you. I heard you say something about fucking both stupid Megan and stupid Nicole. Have you been fucking them behind my back?!”

“Wait – ‘behind your back’?! You don’t own me!” I protested.

“Clearly I don’t! Since you’re just going to fuck every girl you lay eyes on, why do I even try to bother trying to make you feel special?”

“Feel special?! You didn’t take no for an answer, you piece of shit!!” I fumed.

“You didn’t say no!” May yelled bewilderedly. “What’s wrong, do you regret it afterwards and now want to make me feel like the bad guy?”

I laughed in disbelief, crossing my arms. A wave of fury-filled heat surged through me as I replied a little too calmly, “Well you probably know a lot about that, don’t you?”

A wave of emotions, from shock to betrayal to deep sadness to downright hatred fueled her eyes. “You’re the worst.” she began with an ominous calmness. “You’re the fucking worst! I’ll kill you!”

She launched forward and grabbed onto my two shoulders, screaming in my face. I wasn’t good at dealing with screaming, and was trying to shake her off of me. I was getting increasingly upset, and my anxiety was doubling with every second she clung to me. The jitters started, then the tears, then full-out panic. Explosions were going on right behind my eyes. I wasn’t okay. I needed it to stop. I had to make it stop.

Suddenly, it did. May spun around, stumbled a few steps, and outstretched a hand onto a locker on the opposite side of the hallway for support. Something had gotten through to her. My gaze lifted from her and and drifted to an outstretched fist, one that had socked her right in the jaw. My fist.

I hit her. I had punched someone. Suddenly my concern for May’s agitation towards me melted away. My heart sunk in my chest. I was violent. I used force. I had gone against everything I stood for. I felt like a train had plowed right through me. I was numb. Scared, even.

Slowly, May’s face turned to look at me. She said nothing. She looked at me with this gross combination of disappointment, horror, and pain. I really didn’t want it to hurt. I wished it didn’t. When she sighed and wordlessly crawled away, a disturbed look on her face, I knew I had just made a big mistake.

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Author’s Note: Hello, all! I hope you enjoyed the penultimate installment of this book. Five more chapters left! There’s no mention of age – for all we know even the freshmen just flunked over and over, so ha.Loophole. Genuinely, I hope this story and its characters brought you joy and that you liked what you read. I wouldn’t be anything without my readers, so if you got this far, I want to say thank you very much.

You probably saw this part coming, but I have a Patreon, and I’d really like to financially secure myself to the extent where I can write full-time. If you like these stories and want to get some cool perks (such as voting on what I write next and even getting a personalized character) , hop over to patreon dot com slash BashfulScribe and check out if it’s for you, I charge every written piece as opposed to month so if I can’t write for a while, you don’t have to pay. If you’re not interested, no worries. My writing isn’t behind a paywall and I will always be happy to post my work to this site for free. I just wanna make sure I can afford rent and all that.

Once again, thank you so much for being a great community. I’ll be sure to read all comments below, I hope you enjoyed the story, and I’ll be sure to post the final few chapters soon!

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