Have you ever had one of those days everything goes just as you want it to? The kinda day that goes so perfect you’d think the universe was setting you up for something extremely terrible to happen. I get cancer, lose my job or find out I owe money to the mob or something like that but SURPRISE, something like that did happen but just not to me!
So here’s a little background on me for shits giggles and info for your gain. 5″8, 120 pounds, dirty blonde hair, wearing mostly black (with matching trilby) works three days a week and carries a collapsable baton and a karambit. That’s all you really need to know for now.
It all started on a Sunday which was one of the three days I worked. It had been an extremely busy day so my patience and nerves were pretty much shot to hell by the time it was my four day weekend. Whenever I have a work day like this and I don’t have work the next morning I go for a walk at night. Depending on the mood I’m in it can be a few blocks to a few miles I just slowly walk around aimlessly.
This time my random walking was interrupted by a screaming woman. I would normally go see what’s wrong and scare whoever was attacking the poor person and that would be the end of it. What I did different from the other times is I was going to save this woman and hopefully relieve some stress, so it’s a win win! A block away from where I though she was I took out my baton and knife so I didn’t make any excess noise as I was sneaking up on him. As I got to the alley my adrenaline was pumping and the effect was slightly alarming because for some reason my thought were clear and quick, my eyesight improved, I felt as strong as a rhino and my hearing was almost totally gone.
With my improved sight and thoughts process I took in the situation so quick it was amazing. He had her on the ground holding both her hands with one of his and with the other only managed to get her shirt ripped up. To give a little credit to the creep she was fighting back with everything she had and was almost winning. I crept up slowly and what I hoped was silently with weapons at the ready. I was two steps from the guy and decided to try something I always wanted to do. So I took one step and jumped up in the air and came down with my baton in his shoulder as hard as I could. I later heard from the paramedics that I completely shattered his collar bone in one hit. I also heard from the woman that his bones breaking was the worst and best sound she had ever heard in her life.
Once I connected and knew he was out of the fight everything came crashing to a halt where my body was concerned. My hearing, sight, thought process and muscles all went back to normal as the adrenaline wore off and I turned into the weakest man on the planet it seemed. The woman had enough strength to get my phone and call 911 say her location and all the other little details they ask.
It took the cops and ambulance 5 minutes tops to get there and I assume it was from her mentioning the shattered collar bone and me in her lap to drained to move. It was kinda nice time between us besides her crying and thanking me so many times I lost count. So they took him in an ambulance and me and the girl in a squad car to the hospital which I thought was highly unnecessary.
So one checkup, testimony and a half dozen other thing the cops wanted done I was told to not leave town cause they might have further questions and possible charges placed on me before they let me go free. I found this a little unusual but honestly I had no idea what was normal procedure when it came to cops. As I was walking out the girl I saved was standing there waiting for me.
I had prepared for this beforehand just in case I did see her and it went how I thought it would go. “Thank you for saving me I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you for what you did” blah blah so cliche. I wanted to throw her for a loop so I told her to hand me 20$ and man the look on her face was priceless as she was getting the cash. She handed it to me and I added another 40$ and told her to get a good weapon to protect herself the next time she goes out at night.
After I got out of the hospital I just started walking in a general direction of where I thought my house was. I was trying to find a point of reference so I knew where I was because I didn’t trust cabs and when your going for a walk to relax you obviously don’t bring your car with you. So after all that excitement it was me relaxed and just taking it one step at a time.
The only problem with this is when I do get to that point of relaxation and am on my way back home I have a bad habit of talking to my self. It’s nothing to insane besides the fact on this occasion I’m now figuring out what I could have done to cause more pain to the guy. And this talking leads to a group discussion with myself making point, counter point on what I could have done better and what I did right.
“Ok, what I did right was save a woman’s life”
“Yes but you walked to her when you should have ran right”
“Probably should have ran but it turned all right in the end”
“Just because it turned out right this time doesn’t mean if there’s a next time it will go so smoothly”
“So run most of the way but at the last bit walk so we can get the jump on him”
“What if you ran the whole way”
“I would lost the element of surprise and if he was armed with a gun or be screwed”
“Ok, ok good point so walk the last bit but run before that”
“That sound like a solid plan to me”
“Ok good plan let’s work on it tomorrow cause I see my house and I imagine I’m going to get one hell of a good night sleep”
It’s all kinda blurry after that cause I went into auto pilot for the rest of the way. The next thing I remember is waking up from the most restful sleep I’ve had to this day. If only I knew what wonders was going to happen in the coming weeks I probably wouldn’t have gone to sleep so fast.