Am I just using him – chapter 1

Arghh, I hate mr. Arlok. What a douchebag. Like, why would he say those things about Rick. I get it, Rick may be a know-it-all, but at least he’s trying his best in class, a teacher should be happy about that. But instead, trying to be all cool or something, mr. Arlok pretty much belittled the guy all class long.

Wait, let me explain. I’m Dan, I’m a pretty popular guy, I think. I have many friends and even those I do not consider to be friends, always want to hang out with me. I don’t think I’m special or anything, I just think I’m good with all social things. It’s a skill, just like being good in maths or languages. It really doesn’t make me any better than other kids. So, starting with that, Rick isn’t a friend of mine. Moreover, even I find him annoying sometimes. He always replies to all questions the teachers ask, and whenever he gets the answer correct (which is often), he looks content. Too happy. But, like I said, at least he is trying. Many students, myself included, don’t even try to participate in classes, but just look forward to breaks and the end of the day. In that way, I have a lot of respect for Rick.

So, today Rick isn’t at school. I don’t know what’s wrong, and I honestly don’t care. We all had to hand in some assignment online last week, and mr. Arlok went over our replies today. When he showed us the reply from Rick, he pretty much destroyed everything he put in his assignment. He mocked over everything! He really bullied Rick, and because he wasn’t there, he couldn’t defend himself. The class, naturally, laughed at every comment mr. Arlok made. At some point, I stood up and very firmly said: “if you have problems with Rick, mr. Arlok, you should tell him. It’s unfair to pester him like this when he’s not here.”

“Is everything alright, Dan?” the teacher asked.

“No. You shouldn’t be saying all these things.”

“I am the teacher.”

To that comment, I could only laugh. I grabbed my stuff and walked out of the room. I’m not sure why I suddenly acted all butthurt, but he was really crossing a line. So that’s what happened. Now I’m in the boy’s bathroom, in a stall, sitting on the toilet with my pants on. I’m just overthinking what happened.

Then I notice something strange. Someone on the toilet next to me is breathing pretty heavy. noteworthy heave. I smile, I know what’s happening. Some horny teenage boy just had to take care of his stuff. God knows how many times I jerked off in the bathroom, just to be able to get through the day.

The soft moaning continues. I guess the guy next to me hadn’t noticed me being here. Understandable, it’s during class and you’re very rarely allowed to go to the toilet during class. I guess this guy thought he’d be alone. Think again, hehe.

But then something weird happens. I hear a soft moan, again, followed by a whisper. I may be wrong, but that sounded like “o, Dan.”

Now, I know, there are many Dan’s in the world. In my school I know of several Dan’s, as well. But you can’t blame me for being curious now. First of all, Dan is a guy’s name, so if some guy is jerking off in the stall next to mine while whispering guy’s names, that’s noteworthy to begin with. Being gay is not something you want classmates to know in high school, it could destroy the next few years. So, let’s say I’m very curious.

Silently I raise myself so I’m on top of the toilet. I secretly glance over the edge of the wooden wall separating the toilets. It’s a guy from the second year, I’ve seen him around, but I don’t know his name. As I expected he is rubbing his junk, but not as expected, he is still wearing his pants. He has his phone in his left hand and is looking at something on it while furiously rubbing his pants. I try to move a little bit to see what he is looking at.

Then the boy moves his phone a little bit, so I can get a glance of what is on it. Oh gash… That is a picture of… me!

***

Needless to say, during the next days I couldn’t get this out of my head. What should I think of this? This guy wasn’t really jerking off to a picture of me, but he was damn close. And I don’t even know his name! And even though he wasn’t really jerking off, I’m think I can be sure he has done so before. Just the thought of a random guy who could be looking at a picture of me and touching his dick at the same time… ughh.

I haven’t told this to anyone, of course. How could I. Just walk up to a friend and say: “so last week I peeked into another stall in the bathroom and I saw this guy jerking of to a picture of me.” No, that’s not going to happen. But in the meantime, I can’t really stop thinking about this. I saw the boy in the halls a few times during the last few days, but all those times he was doing his best not to look at me. He must really like me then? I’m not sure if I should be flattered or freaked out about this.

***

It’s thursday. It’s been over a week since I found out about this guy in the bathroom. I have to admit, I’m not thinking about it that much anymore. If he wants to do so, he should just do it. I guess I should be flattered about it even. Most of the times I forget about it, apart from those rare moments when I see him in school, which reminds me of the whole experience. To be honest, knowing that a guy in school would probably suck my cock if I asked him to, it’s pretty self assuring, if you know what I mean? If I could even get gay guys to like me, I’m sure to find a girlfriend once I start looking. I mean, the girls are paying attention to me already, but I’m not really ready for a long term relationship and I know they don’t want to just hook-up for sex. We’re only sixteen… I’d love to, though. I’m really horny, but that’s normal for teenager boys, right?

Anyway, today we have this national English proficiency test (did I tell you I’m not English, but from the Netherlands, actually?). So, we have these tests huge rooms. Everyone in school has to do the same test, whether you are thirteen or eighteen. Dictionaries are allowed, as it’s mostly reading comprehension. My English is pretty good compared to my classmates, because I have family in Scotland. So, I’m not really excited or anything, just get this over with and get a good grade.

I walk into the big room and look for the table that has my name on it. I sit down, grab my pen and dictionary and wait for the test to begin. A minute before the test starts, people are still entering the room. One of those guys is the guy who I spotted in the bathroom before. I look at him, but he obviously avoids my gaze. He looks for his own table, which is apparently right next to mine.

“Okay guys, we are about to start,” the teacher says. “Make sure you have everything you need on your desk, as you’re not allowed to grab anything else from your bag during the test. Make sure you have an extra pen and of course, don’t forget about your dictionary.”

“Oh shit,” the guy next to me mumbles.

I look at him. He looks miserable. He is pale and obviously anxious. “What’s wrong?” I whisper. Whether or not he jerks off to me, I can’t stand it when people are in need of something.

He looks at me and when he notices it is me who is talking to him, he becomes even more white. “Nothing. I forgot we were allowed to have dictionaries with us.”

“You can have mine, if you want?”

He looks confused. “Don’t you need one?”

“No, it’s okay. Here, take it.”

“Dan, is something wrong? Why are you talking with Milan?” a teacher asks.

So, it’s Milan? Weird, I didn’t even know his name. “Nothing sir. Milan forgot we could bring dictionaries, so I offered mine, if that’s okay?”

“Don’t you need one?”

I smile. “No, it’s okay.”

“Well then, give it to him and let me continue. Silence now, guys!”

I hand him the book and focus on the instructions again. When we are handed the tests, I immediately start. I want to finish as soon as possible. My parents won’t be home today, so I want to get home as soon as possible. I have to make my own dinner, so if I get that over with as soon as possible, I have the whole day off. I have been horny all day long, so I’m going to watch porn all night and of course, I’m going to be home alone, I’m going to drink my dad’s beers. I’m looking forward to it! Though there is one thing I shouldn’t forget. My dad works for a security company, so our house is full of cameras. I shouldn’t forget to delete all footage, can’t have the old man watching me masturbate of course!

It only takes me thirty minutes to finish the test. I hand it in, which gets me a few weird looks from classmates who are apparently only halfway through the exam. I walk out of the room and race home on my bike. I immediately start making dinner. It’s half past six when I’m done with eating it. I close the curtains, grab a beer and unzip my pants. I release my aching dick from my pants and grab it in my hands. While still searching for a nice video to watch, I’m slowly masturbating. I’m making sure I’m not going too fast, I have the whole evening left, can’t be done too fast!

After another thirty minutes I decide to take a break. It actually is very exhausting. I leave my pants off and pull off my shirt as well. Completely naked, with a hardon, I go to the toilet. I wait for my hardon to go soft again in order to pee. Then I walk, still naked of course, to the fridge for another beer. God, I love being able to walk around naked.

Suddenly the bell rings. What the hell, who could that be? I rush towards my clothes and put them on. Quickly I hide the three empty beer bottles, and I rush back towards the front door.

“Hey.”

It’s Milan. “Oh, hey?” I look at him questioningly.

“Uhh… Well, thank for you borrowing the dictionary. Your address was in it, so I thought it would be nice to return it to you. Thank you again.”

I smile. “I didn’t really need it anyway. Glad I could help.”

He smiles too. “Yeah, you were done so fucking fast dude. Are you that good in English?”

“I got Scottish family, so I guess so.”

Milan hands me the dictionary. “Thanks again man, you really helped me out.”

“Hey, do you want to come in, maybe?”

“Uhh.” He turns slightly red. “Sure.”

I open the door more widely and let him in. “So, this is where I live,” I say jokely.

“Nice house.”

We walk to the living room. I completely forgot my laptop was on the table, with my incognito screen still open. “Oh god, I forgot. Sorry.” I rush to my laptop and close it. I turn around and notice Milan is even darker red than before. I guess I forgot he is gay and likes me. This must be awkward. This is the guy who would probably suck my dick if I asked him to. And gosh, I’m horny.

“Do you want something to drink?” I ask.

“Yeah, sure.”

“I got soda, water and beer.”

His eyes widen. “Beer? Where are your parents?”

“Not here,” I exclaim. “I’ve been drinking beer all afternoon.” I walk to the fridge and grab two beers. I open them. “That’s why I was watching what you saw on the laptop. Alcohol makes me horny,” I joke. “Here.” I hand him a beer.

Carefully he takes a sip of the beer. I take a big gulp. I guess I’m really horny and a little tipsy, it’s not as if I’m used to drinking beer or something. Milan is awfully silent.

“But I guess all teenage boys are like that.”

He looks up at me. “Like what?”

I laugh and sit down on the sofa. He sits down next to me. “Horny, of course!”

He smiles awkwardly. “I guess.”

“Ah, don’t act all sanctimonious on me, man! I bet you would touch my dick if I’d let you,” I grin, but I realise what I had said way too late.

The boy turns pale. “Why would you think that?”

I quickly try to save my blunder. “Like, who wouldn’t want to touch my dick.” I laugh, as to emphasise I’m just kidding. He doesn’t look convinced. And I guess the combination of being horny and tipsy suddenly turns this whole conversation around. I grab my dick through my pants. “Oh come on, we both know you would.” I start massaging.

His eyes grow almost bigger than would be possible.

The devil in me took that as an invitation, so with my left hand I take his and guide it to my crotch. He doesn’t protest. I grind his hand on my crotch, and still he doesn’t move. I moan out loud, which causes him to take over most of the movement himself, so at some point I can just let go of his hand and he still continues grinding it. Oh shit, I’m so fucking horny!

I push his hand away and look the boy in his eyes. He doesn’t look back, probably ashamed or insecure. I get up and in one movement I pull down both my pants and underwear. Milan just stared at my hard cock. “You like that, don’t you?”

He nods.

“Told you, horny teenager. Come on, show me what you got.” I move my dick towards his head. I touch his lips with the tip of my cock. He almost automatically opens his mouth and my dick slides in it. Oh shit, this is amazing. So hot and wet! I start fucking his head slowly and he takes it all in gracefully. It feels exactly like how I imagined fucking a girl would be like. Only this isn’t a girl, but a guy. And maybe that makes it even more sexy This boy adores me, masturbates to me probably. Here is is, sucking my dick. I bet he would do this whenever I want. Maybe even in school! Hmmpf uungh. Amazing! Oh shit, I want to keep him under my bed and do this whenever I want. I don’t think I will ever enjoy jerking off anymore, haha.

It doesn’t take me long before I’m ready to cum. “Almost there!”

Milan starts moving up and down my cock even faster and swallows all my cum. With a sound like a cork being released from a bottle, I pull my dick back out and collapse on the sofa next to him. “Oh… my… god… that was amazing.” I sigh.

The boy doesn’t say a thing, he doesn’t even dare to look at me. He just stares at the floor.

I pick the dictionary off the table in front of me and look at it as if it wasn’t Milan, but the book that just made me feel that amazing. I guess it’s somewhat true, right? At least, if it wasn’t for the dictionary, I wouldn’t have had this guy suck my dick. Okay, maybe it’s a little weird I’d rather thank a book for this event than Milan. As if I don’t want to admit it was his doing, you know? It really was a guy who just made me cum. Does that make me gay?

No, it doesn’t! I know for sure I like girls. And I would probably puke if he’d ask me to return the favor.

“I should lend out dictionaries more often,” I joke.

He just smiles awkwardly.

“But maybe…” I now look at him directly and even move in a little close. “You don’t have to borrow it next time, but you can still, you know, come over and help me out.” I try to smile. Guess the alcohol is still in my body. What the fuck am I even doing? I can’t use him just for my own sake, right? But then again, he liked it. So we’re both gaining from an arrangement like this, I think.

This is the shit thing about being a teenager. Emotions. On the one hand I want him to do this more often, but on the other hand, I’m not gay and I don’t want to hurt him. Guess being honest is the only thing you can do in a situation like that.

“So…” I start. “Anyway. I really liked it. Thank you so much, you really made my day.”

He smiles. It’s a little bit more honest, this smile, but it’s still very awkward as well.

“I have to tell you though. I’m not gay. I was just horny, I guess.”

“Oh.”

“And I kinda heard you on the toilet a week ago or so, so I knew you were into me… like that.”

He looks confused.

“I just want to be honest about that, because I don’t want to feel like I used you or anything. You liked this, right?”

He nods.

Suddenly I remember something. I glance quickly to the corner of the room. The camera. Oh shit, this is all filmed. That is so hot! I can watch it back whenever I want. I can even… no! Don’t think like that. “So, we could do it again some time, if it’s up to me.”

“I… I don’t know.” He sighs but then for the first time, a sly smile appears on his face. “I guess?”

I realise I’m still pretty much naked, well, I got my trousers on my ankles. My dick is flaccid now, but still Milan is constantly glancing at it. I don’t really have the best trained libido, but if that was the case, I bet he wanted to go at it again. I guess I like that. I like to be wanted like that. It’s a new thing to me. As I said, I’m popular, but that’s just because I act like it. This is much more. I can’t act to be wanted. You are or you are not. You are handsome or you’re not. I never thought of myself as handsome, well, I knew I wasn’t ugly, but I never considered people could actually actively like me. And, I have to admit, I can notice Milan isn’t ugly either. Even when you aren’t attracted to people sexually, you can still kind of objectively consider one to be handsome, right? He is slim, kind of skinny, has long brown hair, a pimple next to his cheek and thick, bright red lips. His eyes are green. Deep green. I’d fall in love with him if he was a girl, if you know what I mean. But it raises the question, why is he doing this, he should be able to get anyone he likes.

“I never really got to my own needs though,” he smirks.

I shrug. “Well, as I said, I don’t really want to ‘do you’, if you know what I mean.”

He giggles. “I know. You don’t want to give me a blowjob. No need to censure it, man.”

Okay. What happened to that shy and awkward boy that just gave me a blowjob? This is starting to look like a total new Milan. Can’t say I dislike that, now at least it doesn’t completely feel like I used him.

“But, we don’t want me to get blue balls, do we?”

Oh, I get it. “You want to jerk off? Of course man, go ahead.”

Milan looks happy. He gets up and stands right in front of me. Very slowly, sensually even, he drops his pants.

“Dude, I told you I wasn’t into you like that.” I say, but it doesn’t look very convincing, I bet. My eyes are glued to the crotch, still covered by his underwear, just a few centimeters away from me.

“I know, you don’t have to tell me constantly. Still, doesn’t mean I can’t make a show of this.”

“I guess?”

He smiles. “We’re still dudes, we will check out each other and compare, right?”

I grin. “Of course.”

“You’re parents aren’t coming home soon, are they?”

I shake my head and laugh. “Don’t worry, they won’t be home another two days.”

He drops his underwear as well. I am standing face to face with a happy hard dick, pointing towards me. Now there are at least 20 centimeters less between me and him. I swallow and wonder what he’d do if I just grab it. No! What the fuck. Damn, I guess being horny doesn’t really know boundaries at my age.

He pulls off his trousers and underpants completely and sits down next to me again. He hadn’t touched it yet. I start to get uncomfortably, so I start putting on my own clothes again, but Milan stops me with his hands. “Can I still… you know… look at you?”

I think about that. He did just give me a blowjob, so the least I can do to return the favor, is let him look at me, right? That makes sense. But why does is feel so bad? So dirty, even. That’s the word I’ve been looking for, I feel dirty. Dirty for liking the attention. “Okay.” I try to smile at him.

Milan takes off his shirt as well, which for some reason makes this whole situation real. He is butt naked, next to me on the couch. I glance at the camera again. If anyone were to see this, what would they think? Would they think I am gay?

I notice the boy is stroking himself and for a second I look at him. Our eyes cross, he is looking at me. Looking right into my eyes as if he sees something in there I can’t see yet. I look at his cock. Rock hard, glinstering a little bit with precum. My own cock twitches at the sight. Milan looks at it, smiles and starts stroking even more furiously. The tip of his tongue is pointing out of his mouth and he is making cute soft moaning sounds. Not the usual moaning, but moaning with a slight hint of a squeak in it, as if he isn’t getting enough air.

Stop it, Dan. Stop looking at him, stop noticing him. I look away and stare in the distance.

Unghh, huuing, ugh, unnn. The moaning becomes more imminent with every second.

I jump when Milan grabs my cock. I’m rock hard again! With his left hand he strokes me, while his right hand is taking care of his own junk. I try to enjoy it, but looking at him is disturbing. I quietly push away his hand. For second that causes Milan to look sad, but he is too much into his own pleasure, so he just continues. He speeds up once again and starts moaning even harder. He still looks at me and smiles, as far as you can call that smiling, with his concentrated face and tensed mouth. Then, without any warning, he cums. And a lot! He cums all over his chest, a little bit on the couch, and some spurts even reached his face. With a smile he reaches for it with his tongue and then, for the first during the whole event, he closes his eyes. He is still panting.

I just stare at him. A naked, slim and in cum covered boy is next to me on the couch. This must be the weirdest day of my life! I get up and put my clothes on again. I look at Milan, he looks so peaceful and happy, and I walk away to get another beer. Damn, I really need to think about all that has happened. I don’t understand how we got here. Will I regret this when I look back at this day in the future? I don’t know. I don’t want to think about it, really. I just want to get this beer in my stomach.

When I get back in the living room, Milan is snoring silently. I think about getting him a blanket, but then it would get all cummy, so that’s not an option. I look at the cushion behind him, with a little cum on it. I should get that cleaned, but well, it’s another guy’s cum. Not going to touch that!

I think about him swallowing my load. My stomach turns at the thought. But I did enjoy it, right? And why do I feel so awfully happy now? God, life is weird!

***

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