A New Day, The Other Me chapter 6 .O.I.

The Office of Dr. Gene Hill, December 19th

After further review of my case load I have come to the conclusion that I need fewer clients with transparent problems. I get the remainder of my work filed away and settle down to my last two patient files. A joined case but the psyche of the patients is off by a sea of differences. First file is for Bethany Delauter.

-Youngest in her family, coped with it by developing advanced social skills over others including her twin.

-Lost mother at before her teen years, not a lot of information on coping until new mother persona was discovered.

-New mother entered life and dependant psychology of the time dictated a need to seek out attention and praise. Child assimilated to characteristics of new mother.

-Jealousy of existing child (see adjoining case) caused a backlash of hate and advanced social skills turned to manipulation, bribery and blackmail to force a wedge in between new mother and brother.

My established timeline for Bethany’s problems is solid and her response to our sessions has been moderately positive for the most part. Still the patient’s greedy personality overweighed her own mental image of how she perceived herself and her family unit. Bethany over the course of two months has grown out of her hatred for step sibling and sees that her alienation of him has done more harm to the family than help. Further exposure and inspection by the patient of her actions have also given her remorse and patient wishes to make amends with step sibling.

All of it is part of what Mark Delauter Sr. paid me for as the rest of the family was ignorant or blinded by the youngest daughter as to her actions and the actions of exterior forces on the patient, Guy Donnelly.

-Child of divorce at an early age, isolated and fearful of outside world the child dug into himself and instead of acting out for attention hid from it (verify parenting style of biological father with Mother).

-Severe case of emotional neglect due to Mother’s alcoholism and grief turned to internal and external isolationism from patient.

-New Step siblings added to neglect and emotional void with further abuse, threats of violence, or general apathy to situation.

-Lack of supervision allowed patient to build greater emotional walls and separate self from family unit despite internal desire for acceptance and positive emotional response.

-External abuse in school enabled patient to develop plans to escape environment despite potential for failure whether observed or oblivious to situation.

-Some progress made with breaking down of emotional barriers with patient. Family must allow patient to express emotions without justification of actions.

Rereading Guy’s file I get to my last notes and think back to his outbursts both on myself and on his family I have to review my recordings. He’s distressed, obviously but why? It’s not confrontation causing him to lash out nor is it fear, both of those would have manifested themselves in more obvious times. My concern is that there is something rooted in Guy that he knows about subconsciously but he doesn’t actually feel yet. The walls, the lack of emotions and unwillingness to make connections to others from an emotional stand point could all be a sort of safety catch all for Guy so that he doesn’t change into something he feels he can’t control. Continued review and interviews with members of the family, specifically his step sister Abigail point to panic attacks when met with stressors that she saw as fear attacks. My worst case scenario is that it’s not fear or terror that is causing the panic attacks but more so rage. Not anger or simply being upset at something, a pure rage.

I set the file down and pinch the bridge of my nose thinking on Guy’s actions. If he is shielding everyone from his rage then it’s important that I resume working with the family to prepare them for moments when he will allow it to leak out of himself and onto those around him. It won’t be pretty but if we can safely allow him to vent his pent up rage onto people who will listen and understand it will be better the alternative. I shudder to think of what happens when someone finally allows their pain to encompass their life and with Guy that exception can be worse. Simple formula really, take the abused and decent person and remove all the filters that they have to prevent themselves from lashing out at the world. Then when they are forced to feel and act upon their feelings they have no self control, no restraint and no remorse. Guy feeling his emotional range considering what he has inside himself would be catastrophic.

Guy Donnelly: Christmas Morning

Waking up tired on Christmas morn is a pretty usual thing but after Mrs. Lawson aka Cassandra’s visit after the party a couple nights ago sleep has been helpful. I still don’t understand what is happening with me in regards to this ‘family’ that seems to want me around now. It was almost three months ago now that nobody even gave a damn whether or not I was coming down to dinner. Now its Christmas morning and I’m probably being waited for by everyone. I pull on the Christmas pajamas that we purchased for me, not my idea to wear a snowman’s face on my ass, but I go through the trouble of getting the two pieces on and make my way downstairs. I think I’m the only one up until I hit the TV room where the tree is and see Mom sitting on the couch with Mr. Delauter. They’re cuddled up together and drinking a cup of coffee by the smell as I step in the room.

“Merry Christmas,” I beat them to the greeting and see them both smile that I’m there.

“Merry Christmas,” I am hit back with it and I take a spot in the corner chair.

The rest of the family makes their way down and Mark looks especially goofy in old pajamas that don’t quite fit and we sit down to begin going through presents. I keep more of an eye on everyone else as they unwrap their gifts and finally it gets to mine, the ones I got for them and I wait quietly. Mark opens his first and like most others from me the box is small. Everyone watches him remove a pendant shaped like a shield with an angel on the front holding a sword and shield while wearing armor. It takes him a second to read the paper and quietly he puts the pendant on and looks humbled.

“Mark what is it,” Mom asks leaning forward.

“It’s a guardian pendant, like an angel one. Thanks bro,” Mark answers Mom then turns to me.

Mr. Delauter is next, him I got some black gold cufflinks. He swears he never has any good dark cufflinks for his black suit. He smiles and gives me an appreciative nod. After him it’s Mom and she was difficult to get something appropriate and while finding the frame, a simple silver one, finding a picture of us when she wasn’t in a bar. I dug it out of an old box but it’s from move number two and had the old picture touched up of us in a restaurant booth smiling. I look kind of sad in my smile but Mom is her old bright happy self and when Mom finally gets a good look at it she has to stop and check her tears a bit before thanking me with a smile. My last gift, other than the t shirt to Rosa that says ‘I will cut you bitch’ in Spanish on it, is the one to Abigail and Bethany. One box and both names on it have them a little confused and Beth does the opening so they can pull out mated lockets. I say mated because they are one piece of jewelry that separates into two pieces each with a chain and when the separate pieces open there is a picture. Abby’s has Beth’s picture and reversed, took me a bit but Rosa helped me find it of the two of them when they were my age around the divorce. I am being asked for an explanation by the looks on their faces.

“You’re twins, you seem to forget that you are and you have nothing current that shows it. I figured you needed reminding,” I explain as Mr. Delauter smiles at it.

“He’s right actually, we can even move you both back into a single bedroom again,” their Father says and the immediate argument is met with joking laughter.

I get a few decent gifts, membership to the gym with Mark. Beth got me a book on how to talk to women, I think it was a joke and Abigail got me a new game for the massive system I got from Mom as a bribe/make up gift. I keep looking at it as a ‘she felt bad and wanted to do something’ as opposed to a ‘Need to make up for the guilt I feel and try to get him to love me again’. I don’t open mine all at once mind you, I get them opened in turn as everyone opens one from someone else and while there aren’t a lot of gifts we each get someone something and finally it comes to the end and I have to wonder where my gift from Mom or Mr. Delauter is. He hands me a small box from my stocking with my name on it and after the paper and opening the box I find a set of keys with a rabbit’s foot on the other end. I shrug and look a little confused as he leads me to the garage with the family in tow.

“No more rides to school with the others unless you want to,” Mr. Delauter says as he flips the light on to the garage and I see it, I don’t believe it but I see it,” I’m told it’s a special car. The 1967…”

“The 1967 Ford Shelby GT 500… Water-cooled Pushrod V-8, cast iron block and heads, 2 x 4-bbl Holley Carburetor… Three speed automatic transmission with a torque converter,” I know the details, I’ve known them for over ten years,” Why?”

“Well your Mother said this car was special to you,” Mr. Delauter begins to explain and I can see the look of terror on my mother’s face.

“It is special to me… me and my father. This was our thing, the dream car… but it’s just a dream because he’s dead,” I don’t even want to touch the car, it feels like I’m looking at a tombstone,” This was his dream, his and mine. Why couldn’t you leave it alone?”

I don’t wait for an answer, I really don’t want one right now as I step past everyone and head up to my room. I know everyone wants to make everything alright and hopes I’ll feel better but I’m quite literally living over the dead dreams my father and I had years ago before life broke me. I’ve been sitting for what feels like an hour or two when there is a knock at my door that waits for me to answer it which I do after the second try only to find Mr. Delauter standing there waiting for me.

“May I come in, I’d like to speak with you and try to explain myself,” he asks and I shrug stepping away, better to get it over with.

“Is this where you didn’t plan for me to react so poorly or where you just hoped a big shiny car would keep me from hurting Mom,” I ask moving to my chair to sit down.

“Neither actually, I planned for a reaction but you were more dedicated into the car than I thought and it caught me off guard. I know it was you and your father’s dream to work on one together and eventually you’d get it when you were an adult,” he begins to explain and I want to speak but he holds up his hand to stop me,” It wasn’t there to hurt you, even though it did. I got that car because it was something good from before us, me and my children and I wanted you to have something that you could connect with to your father.”

“You got me my Dad’s dream car so I could remember him,” I ask and he nods,” That’s bullshit. If you wanted me to remember him you’d dig up a picture or something. Buying me the dream car is you trying to replace him like your children wanted my mom to replace your wife.”

“No! They did not replace their mother with yours! That is a cop out and you are being petty and short sighted. Stop thinking about how things are affecting everyone else and try to see something from my point of view. You have been scared, hurt and alone for almost a decade and all I wanted was to give you a piece of your past, untouched, untarnished so that one day if we find your father you and he can have something together. I don’t need you to be my son and you have done well enough without me as your father but I am your guardian and I WILL protect you as best I can and when I can’t I will take up the charge and fight for you. I should have been doing it long before now but I’m not a good parent when it comes to some of these things,” Mr. Delauter’s raised voice and impassioned speech is good and it feels more honest than when Mom got me the giant ass entertainment system.

“Better than my Dad, he never came back,” I say it quietly and it hurts.

“Not because of you, if I had to guess why he never returned for you I’d guess it was his shame. He fought and lost you, it hurt him to lose in front of you and he probably felt like he failed,” He explains it and it makes sense again.

“I wanted to leave two years ago and you said he wasn’t there, that he was dead,” I state the words and he holds up a finger to stop me.

“I said they couldn’t find him and they couldn’t I showed you the file,” Mr. Delauter states and I counter.

“And it could be forged or falsified. You opened it and it wasn’t yours,” I state and he snaps on me again.

“I have never lied to you or kept anything from you when I was aware of the situation. I did not show you care and attention like I should have years ago and that I am at fault for. Adding to that I had and still have a huge blind spot to my three children and generally try to think the best of them no matter what, again this is something I know about myself. However unless you have proof, real proof that I have lied to you about anything don’t accuse me of it. I will take my blame for what I did or didn’t do but I won’t let anyone, even you tell me that I’m a liar because it’s convenient for you instead of the sad truth,” he is upset bordering mad, but it does sound true.

“Honestly I don’t know. I want things still, things I shouldn’t want not because I don’t deserve them but because you don’t. I am constantly telling myself to enjoy it now because sooner or later all of you will forget and when that happens I’m done and it’s all on me after that,” I explain and he’s listening as he sits in my computer chair.

“Is that why you keep planning to move out,” he asks and I nod,” Guy I have had many thoughts about you, aside from Abigail you are an academic power house in this family. I have no clue what you want to do with your life but I’ve been ready for you to ask me for something, anything.”

“Former status quo kept a lot of what I wanted silent,” I mutter and he nods.

“I looked at you in a similar manner of my daughter, Abby not Beth. You took everything now for years and never allowed yourself to become a bad person over it and even when we did things and you were sad to be on the outside you were still grateful. We took that vacation to Florida and my children whined about Disneyland while we were there and you just smiled a little and asked for sun block,” he reminds me of one of our ‘family’ vacations.

“That was one of the few times where people spoke to me at length,” I remember and he grimaces,” I couldn’t hide in my room like Beth would have wanted so everyone talked to me.”

“I always thought of you as shy, that you resented me after your mother sprung the new family situation on you,” Mr. D says letting some of his inner most out,” And then I find out how bad things really were for you in my home.”

“Yeah,” I don’t really have much to say on that.

“I almost disowned Beth,” He says it and I must look skeptical,” I weighed the pros and cons but the thought had crossed my mind that when she graduated to give her a small lump sum of money and kick her out.”

“That would have lasted all of a month,” I state and he nods,” I mean her being out there and you not taking her back. You love her.”

“Yes but what she did was evil and cruel, she still doesn’t realize how cruel it was from where I’m standing. Even Dr. Hill is trying to help show her the depth of what you have been put through by her actions,” he says it, he believes it but I don’t really feel it,” There are things that I don’t condone in this household and the abuse you suffered is one of them. Had I known…”

“Now we’re back to the ‘had I’, please don’t. I have some ‘had I’ over the course of my growing up that would make yours look insignificant so let’s not go there,” I do have more than a few looking back.

“You’re right, we can’t change what happened but all of us, even Beth, are here welcoming you back into the fold you should have never been kicked out of. And as for the car it’s yours,” Mr. D states and I am about to object,” I chose that car because you are fond of it. Let it remind you of your father, a man who I know loves you.”

Okay all pain and posturing aside it’s the dream car, the ‘my father and I’s’ dream car. There is some heartache in the memory and I figure on sitting and thinking about it in depth. I don’t know how everyone else is handling my brooding thoughts but I’m not in a caring mood for other opinions right now. I go from sitting in my big comfy chair, to sitting on my bed, to sitting in my computer chair and somehow I’m in the car. It’s nice… fuck its amazing. It is not what I always thought of when I was eight or so but then again I was eight and I was in the passenger seat, not the driver’s seat where I am now. I did change out of my ugly ass holiday pajamas into some regular clothes. Keys are in my hand, in the ignition, I can start the car. I can physically start the car but where what am I going to do with it. Mr. Delauter bought it for me in honor of my father, a man he never met and a man who abandoned me. I don’t like thinking of him that way but it’s pretty much true. There were a dozen ways I can think of that he could have contacted me over the years and he never did. Hell he could have just kidnapped me in the night and I’d have gotten over it. Wow I really hated my time with Mom. And I’m out of the garage and driving, I haven’t driven since I passed my tests so I take it slow and even though its winter in Texas there is no snow, it’s too warm. The car is amazing and it’s a manual, I prefer manual because it gives me control. Granted I almost grind my gearbox a couple times on the drive but after an hour I find myself somewhere I’ve only been once, Syd’s house. It’s nice and modest, a good little home with a plastic Santa in the front yard and some lights on the gutters. I exit the car and leave it in the driveway making my way to the front door and wait after knocking. I’m greeted by a tired looking man in sweatpants and a t shirt who I assume is Sydney’s father.

“Hello is Sydney home,” I ask and he gives me a surprised look.

“Yes and its Christmas, who are you,” her assumed father asks.

“I’m Guy, we’re friends from school,” I should say she’s my only friend but let’s not seem super loser right now.

I watch him call out to Syd in the house and I quietly wait. It takes maybe a minute for Syd, in a black tank top and shorts to make her appearance and she looks surprised to see me.

“Guy? What are you doing here,” Syd asks and I shrug.

“I needed to talk with my friend,” I state realizing I’m interrupting a holiday.

Her Dad leaves but I know I’m being monitored from the living room as Syd steps out and closes the door mostly behind her. We both are really awkward and nervous.

“I got a car,” I start and she steps around the corner of the front to see it,” I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”

“We’re kinda in the middle of breakfast but come in,” Syd pulls me in from the not super cold Texas weather.

I am ‘welcomed’ into the home, it’s a little messy but like outside it’s quiet as her mother and father watch me enter their home. Introductions are made and I can see Syd gets her thin body type from her father as her mother is a bit heavier set and both parents look amazingly tired but her Mom has a smile on her face with a visitor in her home. I get asked the basic questions along with how things were with the homecoming dance we went to and failed to make a good date. I don’t get into the nasty details of my beating and avoid Sydney’s shotgun date night with a football goon, it’d just complicate things. I’m offered food and looking around notice things missing, there are some gifts and the food is small portions. I’ve lived like this, I’ve lived like this for years and I immediately put the plate down and tell Sydney that I have to go and that I’ll be right back. I am pretty sure I’m leaving them confused but I am being driven by something I can’t explain but it only takes me twenty minutes to find an open grocery store and grabbing a cart I make my way down every aisle grabbing things almost at random but I feel excited, more excited now than I have in a few years at this time. Three hundred dollars spent on food I grab gift cards for clothing stores and that electronic store with the yellow price tag on a blue background before loading up the trunk and fold up backseat of my new car and head back to Sydney’s house.

I’m unloading the first armload of food on the porch when Syd comes out the door with a grumpy look on her face.

“What the hell is wrong with you,” She asks hot, like desert sun in Africa hot.

“I needed to run to the store and pick up some things,” I answer her kind of quiet.

“Why” her Dad asks taking up behind his daughter.

“Because she’s my friend and you took me in on first look and wanted to give me food. I just don’t know, I wanted to do something nice,” it’s ridiculous, I feel ridiculous.

I begin to take things back to my car when Syd takes my arm and stops me. Her Dad follows me to the car and takes a couple bags and the two of us unload the car quietly as Syd’s Mom just smiles at the sight of everything being unloaded. I take my plate again as Syd sits down with me while her parents stock the shelves and I render unto her an explanation.

“I was really poor before Mom met Mr. Delauter, I didn’t have a Christmas that didn’t involve a stocking at a bar or a sad little tree with nothing under it because Mom
drank the gift money. I just felt something, a real something and I had to act,” I explain as her parents return to the room having heard my brief explanation.

“Well this is a lot but how can you afford this,” her Mom asks.

“His parents, well Mom and Step Dad are rich,” Syd explains and I nod weakly.

“Well we weren’t too bad off, just paid bills and were waiting on next payday to make up for the lack of presents and holiday food but this is most welcome,” the Mom says and I get to smile.

We eat pancakes with peanut butter, butter was more expensive but I bought some of it and syrup too so we can have whatever we want. I get to sit and talk with Syd and her parents, Hunter and Angie, and explain my problems. I dump out my whole fucking shoe box of pain and confusion for them and while I feel a little better now I am exposed and have no place to hide it. If they are horrified they are hiding their expression very well.

“I like this Delauter guy, he’s a workaholic honestly but so am I,” Hunter explains and I shrug,” Don’t blow me off, listen boy, he expected everyone to group up and bond because it’s what good people do and he’s a good person. Hell I didn’t know Sydney went to homecoming till three days after when she was crying about how horrible your night went.”

Yeah Syd is embarrassed a little but I keep listening to her father as he continues.

“You seem like a good kid, a little shy honestly but other than the sister from hell your family sounds pretty nice,” He states and I want to say something but he stops me,” I know I didn’t grow up with them, you did.”

“What Hunter is trying to say is they only deserve a chance if you want them,” Angie is a bit harder than her husband,” You need to figure out what you want in the whole ball of wax. Yes, they’re nice people and they give you pretty things but how do you feel when they do that stuff?”

“Okay I guess,” I answer and she shakes her head.

“It’s not the stuff then it’s the attention. You like that they are paying attention now,” Angie says and it feels true, mostly.

“I think so, I just don’t like that it took three years for my step family to realize how shitty things were in their perfect home,” I explain feeling a little upset but under control.

“That’s to be expected honestly. People don’t understand what they have until it’s marching out the door and never coming back,” Angie says and Hunter gives her a look.

“I didn’t think I’d be coming back,” he smirks and I think there is a story I don’t know.

“Families aren’t perfect, hell that Beth girl is far from it but end of the day they are going to be the ones to help pick you up. At least now you can see they don’t hate you,” Angie says and again more truth.

We talk, we eat, we laugh and they thank me for gifts. It’s a good holiday until I realize I have been gone for four hours after I was shopping and now it’s almost dinner time. I say goodbye and get a wave from the family before heading back towards my home. Almost six hours after leaving I realize a couple things, one I left without telling anyone anything and two I took my wallet but not my phone. Parking in the garage for the first time is nice but when I get into the house Mom and Mr. Delauter are not happy with me.

“Where the hell have you been,” Mom is mad, I’ve not seen this level of mad before.

“I was helping a friend, her Christmas was bad and her family let me sit down and talk with them. I am sorry I forgot my phone,” I get about that much out when Mom continues.

“I have been at my wits end to help you see that I love you and this family cares about you and you just run off on Christmas, ON FUCKING CHRISTMAS!,” did I mention Mom was pissed,” Now you run off to spend time with someone else’s family leaving us here worried sick.”

Mom is on the warpath as Mr. D just stands there with his arms folded, it’s like he’s waiting for his turn and I just need to speak and be heard.

“Mom… Mom… Mom…,” she just keeps ranting at me,” MOM!”

I think I broke the house, Mom was loud but I just trumped her in volume and something else. Not sure what it was in me but it’s gone in a second and now both Mr. D and Mom are standing still as I take a breath and take my Mom’s hands.

“Mom, I’m sorry. I couldn’t think and didn’t plan on being gone so long. I just went somewhere to think and ended up with my friend Sydney and her parents. We talked; they defended you and helped me a little. I spent a lot of money on them,” I get those words out and Mr. D looks like he wants to say something,” My money sir, not my allowance. They thanked me and sent me back home. I love you and I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“Honey I don’t know what you are thinking anymore. I worry everyday that you’ll decide to not come home and I’ll never see you again,” Mom says dropping the anger as we move to the TV room to talk with Mr. D behind us.

“Mom, realistically if I was going to leave I would have done it a long time ago. I can see that now, things are different now. I’m seeing you better than I was and all of you are seeing me finally,” I explain a little of what I was led to by Sydney’s family.

“Did the car handle okay,” Mr. Delauter asks after a pause in the conversation.

“It was great, I wish it was Dad but it’s the thought, the reason you got it that’s important. Also I can actually go places now so that’s a plus,” I answer and add a little to help relieve tension.

After talking and Christmas dinner which isn’t as nervous as some dinners have been over the past few months. Everyone talks, about me, each other and just relaxes. I’m not the focus of all the attention and when we finally finish and I head to my room Beth follows me in to talk some more.

“So things with this friend of yours, Sydney? You and her dating or,” she wants to ask and I chuckle.

“I think if we dated the world would divide by zero and negate all existence,” I joke and it’s intelligent humor, Beth doesn’t get it,” Oh crap search divide by zero meme on your phone.”

“Whatever, I am just glad you’re home and not running off on Mom,” Beth says and I have to stop her.

“It occurs to me that had our parents never met you would have never noticed me. I would have been some sad pathetic boy you and the other girls would have mocked openly,” I use bigger words to have impact on Bethany’s not so great vocabulary.

“Except you’re not sad or pathetic and as for open mockery we weren’t that bad most of the time,” Beth says it and I have to check my thoughts on her vocabulary.

“Yeah but that’s not how things worked out and now we’re stuck together, somewhat,” I clarify my previous statement turning it into an observation instead of leaving it a judgment of Beth’s character.

“Well I still don’t understand the no revenge policy you seem to live by but thank you. I did shitty things by you and in some cases to you and you could have outed me as a complete bitch to the whole school,” Beth thanks me but I have to explain myself, again.

“What good does it do either of us, you or me, to hurt you. I don’t need the truth to come out if it hurts you and you are important to Mom and the family,” I tell Beth and
she seems to get it but I guess I’m the more mature one,” Besides thanks to you I’ve already been with two cheerleaders.”

“What? Two? Who other than Lex,” she asks and I laugh shaking my head,” Oh fine. It’s your thing but just don’t make things weird for my friends when they come over. I am trying to help boost your image at school and they are gonna help.”

“I know, I’ve heard the master plan. It’s goofy to me but I guess we don’t fully understand each other which is alright,” I tell her and she smiles.

I’m alone on Christmas night and before bed get a text from Sydney thanking me for helping out her parents and welcoming me back whenever I want. It’s nice to be wanted and I feel wanted. Finally this is a good Christmas.

First thing about the car I don’t like, the paint job. Its sliver and not a great silver either, more of a ‘we tried to make steel color silver by adding some sparkles’. I talk to Mr. Delauter about getting new paint job before school starts and he agrees since he bought it from the car from a man and had it internally restored but nothing was done with the poor paint work. I take in a couple reviews for paint places focusing on quality and turnaround time. I put a few addresses in my phone and figure I can cover the paint myself; I need to spend my money on me and not ask for everything to come from Mr. Delauter even if he can pay for it and he does offer. I take my car out two days after Christmas to see if there is a turnaround time before school starts and unfortunately with the holidays both places, name brand places, give me poor times and I head off for lucky number three which is mostly across town away from home and I set up at a four car shop garage with three doors open and two cars up on racks. I note the full crew inside, four people one of them a lean Latina female with an angry look on her face as she stands under a car working on a something or other in the vehicle’s engine area. I head into the office and am joined by a short stocky older man with salt and pepper hair and a full mullet chop mustache beard combo, the name Dutch is on his dirty coveralls.

“Good afternoon sir, what can I help you with,” Dutch asks and I motion to my new car.

“The paint job is absolute crap and I need a better one,” I counter and he smiles.

“Well with the holidays it’ll be a bit but we can try to rush it out after New Years,” he offers and I nod.

“I just need it before school resumes, mid first week in beginning of second week in January is too late,” I state my when and he hands off a book full of colors and even some decal work that I can get if I want to pay a little extra.

I sit and browse as he returns to his workers in the garage and checks on a question the female mechanic has. I must be in the book for ten minutes when I hear Spanish and a voice that sends a chill up my spine. I slowly look over and see Hector with a few of the boys and their rides get out and begin talking with the female mechanic and Dutch. Everything seems really friendly; all sorts of buddy buddy with the two sides and begin to lose any desire to have the work done here. Dutch returns and I’ve already put the book down and am waiting for Hector and his boys to leave before departing myself.

“Have you found what you’re looking for,” Dutch asks with a smile.

“Actually I found something I was hoping to avoid. Do you associate with gangs,” I ask and Dutch gets a very confused look on his face.

“Gangs? No son those boys are a part of the neighborhood watch,” Dutch counters gesturing to Hector’s posse.

“Except I’ve been intimately associated with them, so much that if they are a part of your business then I have none here. My apologies for wasting your time,” I keep it civil and exit the front door and not the shop entrance I came in.

I keep my head down and get about half way to my car when I hear people talking loudly inside the garage and that’s when Hector spots me.

“Hey! What the fuck are you doing out here,” Hector calls and I can hear his boys coming for me,” turn back around and give Dutch your business, now.”

“No,” I’m scared shitless but I don’t have anywhere else to go as they cut me off from my car.

“Hector let the boy go,” Dutch calls out as his female worker heads over to interpose herself between Hector and I.

“See, this is what a gang does. They find people, outnumber and then threaten them to take their money and you’re a part of it,” I tell Dutch before turning back to Hector,” Here you want my money now?”

I reach back for my wallet and that’s when things turn crazy, I’m hit by I don’t know who and pinned to the ground with my right arm under a knee and my left partially under my back. I feel someone grab my face and a sharp piece of metal, probably a knife, up against my throat. I take a look and see the female mechanic giving me the pissed of Latina expression. Slowly I move my left hand and finish pulling my wallet out as Dutch is yelling for everyone to back off and get off me. I’m released and allowed to move again, I can taste blood in my mouth and sit up against my car as Dutch takes control of the situation.

“Pulling a fucking knife on a fucking kid Imelda, are you fucking kidding me,” he yells at the girl who is biting her tongue pissed off.

“He could have pulled a gun and shot Hector, I was reacting,” the girl, Imelda responds as I pull out my phone.

“I’m calling the police,” I state taking out my phone when one of Hector’s boys snatch it out of my hands,” Give me back my phone.”

“Give me the phone and get the fuck out of here, you too Imelda,” Dutch orders as one of the goons hands my phone to him.

I reach for my device but Dutch holds it in his hands and out of my reach as two cars of cholo assholes and a Mexican bitch on a motorbike ride away. Dutch waits a little bit before handing me my phone.

“Sorry about that, my mechanic is a little high strung,” he says in an apology.

“They assaulted me and you covered for them,” I state beginning to dial emergency services on my phone.

“Kid you need to stop doing that,” he tells me taking my phone again and shutting it off,” Calling the cops isn’t going to do you any good.”

“So they get to beat on me whenever they want, wherever they want and I’m just supposed to take it,” I counter and he holds his hands up in surrender.

“Call them but it’s your word against theirs and ours. I’m not going to tell the police that anything happened if they show up so maybe be a man about it and talk with them. They’re good boys,” Dutch informs me the harsh reality of the situation and I shake my head.

I turn around and get in my car pulling up my phone’s menu after turning it on while Dutch stands by my car watching me. My heart is pounding and I look up a few things on Facebook, namely an address and find it’s about five minutes away, goody goody. I’ve not yet opened up the engine on my car but I do now and I can tell which one is the house I’m looking for as the cars out front match the ones I see at school. I almost pull onto the lawn but just part it on the curb and exit my car slamming the door. My heart is pounding as I cross the yard and rip open the screen door before pounding my fist against the door. It doesn’t take long for an older Mexican woman to answer and I don’t waste time.

“Where is Carlos,” I bark and she begins speaking Spanish at me,” Speak fucking English and get Carlos out here now.”

More Spanish as I repeat myself and finally Marta comes out from wherever in her parent’s home and seeing me looks shocked.

“Guy what are you doing here,” Marta asks stepping between me and her mother.

“Get your piece of shit brother out here,” I bark at her and she steps back from me in a little shock.

“Carlos isn’t here,” Marta counters and I scoff,” He left with some of his boys a couple hours ago.”

“Fuck it, never mind, he wants to talk and work shit out? There is no working shit out; there is no peace anymore his fucking boy Hector and girlfriend Imelda or whatever just saw to that. I see them, I hear their fucking voices and I go to fucking war. Tell that piece of shit brother, you el understando?,” I end on the question as Marta is visibly shocked.

I turn around and head back to my car slamming the door as Marta and Romeo step into the yard after me. They’re too slow as I peel out and head back to home, my only safe place. My heart is still pounding as I get inside and about half way across the foyer to the stairs I hit my knees. My hands are shaking and my heart is about to burst out of my chest as Rosa calls out to my Mom who comes running from another room. A million questions are asked but I’m still recovering as I Mom notices my forming bruise on my face and begins to patch me up.

“Who did this to you,” Mom asks as ices my cheek.

“Guess,” I reply and she frowns.

“Why didn’t you call the cops,” Mom is on her questions kick and I figure she deserves answers.

“I would have, twice. Both times someone took my phone and flat out told me it was my word against theirs. I’m alone in this Mom and I don’t know what the hell I did to them,” I ask back and Mom shakes her head.

“Baby some people just don’t have it in them to be decent,” Mom says as I hear stomping from upstairs.

“Guy are you here,” Abigail asks coming down stairs all sorts of upset,” What the hell were you doing yelling at Marta and her Mom? What happened to your face?”

“Hector decided to push me around and his girlfriend, some mechanic hit me when I was trying to pull out my wallet,” I explain again for the record.

Mom is upset to use an understatement of fact but she’s more concerned about me than anything else and it feels nice. I settle down in my bedroom and try to relax while I know Abigail wants to try to talk to me and hash things out. I’m done being defenseless, I need protection.

Carlos: That same afternoon

Moving hardware for the Union is a good job; we set up enough storage houses in old crack dens and abandoned buildings that even if they tried the cops couldn’t keep track. They just don’t have the people. The Old Man, Jim, is happy to finally get his goods moving again and we’re set to take in a few shipments for the Union by the time school lets back in. Once I’m graduated I can focus all my time on business since Marta will get herself a scholarship and go to a good college. I’ll probably be funding part of that scholarship myself but my little sister is worth it. I’m with Smitty, Jim’s son and right hand, when my phone goes off and I get that look. The look that says ‘you have something more important’? I don’t right now and check my screen to see Marta calling before sending it to messaging and silence it, need to focus on the task at hand. We get last truck unloaded and it’s out of my boys’ hands and being taken care of by Union. I check my phone and see that only forty five minutes have passed but I have three missed calls and twenty texts, most from my sister but a few from Romeo and one from Hector and all of them are telling me I need to call them right away. I message Hector and find out he’s at home with a few of the boys, I tell him there are problems at my parent’s home but I’ll see him soon and head towards home. Just about dinner time and Mama is in the kitchen and its quiet, Mama always sings or listens to music when she cooks. Romeo comes out of my sister’s room; he’s not brave enough to try anything with her while Mama is in the house.

“C we got a problem,” Romeo tells me and I quiet him to say hi to Mama.

I give my mother a kiss on the head and she leans into it for a moment but keeps cooking. Mama doesn’t usually seem so cold when I come home. I leave Mama to cooking and get back to Romeo who is concerned, very concerned. I get him into my room and close the door.

“What the hell happened with Marta,” I ask since she was the one to call the most.

“Guy was here,” Romeo says it and I don’t believe it.

“Guy? ‘The’ Guy? What the fuck was he doing here,” I ask and Romeo shakes his head.

“I don’t know but something must have happened because I’ve never heard him like this. He’s always been nervous and defensive but earlier,” Romeo sits down on my bed as I’m waiting for it,” He called you out to your Mom, then Marta got involved and he just lost it.”

“Alright but what set him off,” I got to ask cause this makes no sense.

“I don’t know man, I only saw him drive off and your sister spent most of the time calming your mother down and trying to get you to come home,” Romeo is confused but he kept it together somewhat and helped Marta out with Mama.

I leave him in my room and move down the hall to Marta’s room, the light is on and I knock to get her attention. Slowly Marta opens the door and when she sees me she doesn’t look happy.

“You had to push him. He’s a nice person and you pushed him so hard he snapped,” Marta tells me and I assume it’s about Guy.

“I told everyone to back off. I should have stopped it years ago but now…,” I want to finish but Marta stops me.

“Now he is coming to our home and screaming at Mama in the doorway,” my little sister shakes her head at me,” Worst part I can’t say he was wrong.”

“What happened, I honestly don’t know what was done this time,” I’m not bringing up history when something had to set this off.

“He said something about Imelda but I don’t know how he could know her,” Marta thinks out loud and I have people to meet up with.

I drag Romeo out of the house with me when I leave and head too meet the rest of the boys. Originally it was just a check up to make sure everything went smooth but now I’m looking for answers. Everyone’s at the empty lot behind Hector’s house. I don’t have fifteen to twenty boys like they see at school, more like forty plus and a few females who roll hard with us. I’m greeted with smiles and happy words exiting my ride and sitting on the hood everyone checks in and is cleared when I ask a simple question.

“Who did extra today,” I say it and most that hear me quiet down or quiet others down.

“What you mean Carlos,” Rico, one of my runners asks confused for the group.

“Someone visited my home while we were out working and yelled in de mi Madre face and now my mother won’t look at me so I’m asking one last time, who did extra shit today,” I can hear my people talking and asking who did what when he comes forward.

“I ran into que la cabeza de mierda Guy at Dutch’s shop. He saw us there and was walking out on Dutch when I stopped him and told him to give Dutch his business. He went for his wallet and your cousin thought he was gonna pull on me and she dropped his weak ass,” Hector explains and laughs a little.

“So you tried to push him around then my cousin who is trying to defend you beats him up,” I start when my boy adds to the nightmare.

“She pulled a knife on him and put in to his throat too, I thought he was gonna piss his pants. Then he tried calling the cops so we took his phone and gave it to Dutch. Dutch let us get out of there and sent your cousin home,” Hector finishes his story and I am pissed off now.

“Leave him alone, don’t do anything except keep people from fucking with him, do you remember me saying that,” I ask and my people are nodding their heads.

“But the cops are gone now, back to business as usual,” Hector adds and I can hear some are supporting him.

“You think the cops are why I told you to back the fuck off of Guy? I said back off, that means he comes your way you get the fuck out of it. He talks to you and you back the fuck off and let me talk to him. YOU DO NOT THREATEN HIM YOU FUCKING PENDEJOS,” I’m yelling at my crew and now they remember who is in charge.

“Hector the problem is you didn’t do what you, actually what all of us were ordered,” Romeo adds and I let him speak for me, he’s got the right idea,” Carlos is in charge, we are his crew. Do we follow Carlos’s orders or not?”

My crew is nodding yes and so is Hector but he’s not listening, all he sees is Guy fucking with him and I’m not letting him teach a lesson. I reaffirm my policy of no contact with Guy before dismissing my crew, everyone except Hector and Romeo. Everyone is gone and now my boy Hector is answering privately.

“What has you so scared of him,” one of my oldest boys asks and I shake my head.

“It’s not fear, we did more than enough to prove we were tough and instead of us being strong and protecting we’re bullies. We walk around school and they don’t respect us, they spit on us and I can’t even ask a girl out now without her worried she’s going to get beat up,” I explain as Hector listens,” You can’t be involved in this business if you can’t follow orders and keep things calm. You’re not to be involved in any business unless I bring you myself. You show up unannounced and I’m removing you from the gang.”

Hector wants to argue, say something in his defense but I stand up from my car hood and get in my car to drive to my second destination, dropping off Romeo at his home. My new mouth piece is trying to step up and back me which is good but I need him to recognize he isn’t in the business yet, which is why he was with Marta today instead of taking care of business. I don’t head home after dropping off Romeo even though I could; I need to speak with my cousin. Imelda has always been a hot head, been like it since I can remember and now she might have just got Marta put on Bethany the Cheer-bitch’s radar. She’s home but my Aunt, her mom, is gone at work. She greets me at the door and we sit in the living room to talk about what happened. She didn’t know who the kid, Guy, was since she’d never seen him before and she was just trying to stop a fight at her work when Guy reached behind him. She thought he had a piece and went with her standard ‘put the fucker down hard’ option. I explain who Guy is to her and what has been going on before telling her about Beth and the bounty. Imelda laughs a little and tells me shit will be fine. I have trouble believing her.

“I will take care of it alright; I’ll talk to the kid and apologize for hitting him. It was my fault anyway,” Imelda tells me and I don’t think she gets the situation.

“Cuz this isn’t easy like you think it will be. The girl has connections I can’t track and could get Marta at anytime,” I explain and she laughs.

“I know, that’s why I’m going to take care of it at the source. Now get home and talk to your Mom,” Imelda says ending our conversation.

Well now I have my near psychotic cousin set up to keep my baby sister from getting a beating or worse, things could be worse.

Guy: Day after New Year’s Day

So my New Years was quiet mostly because I’ve been in a bad mood after trying to get a paint job for my new car and nearly ended up in the hospital. I’m not saying I didn’t spend time with the family at a little New Year’s party Mr. Delauter’s firm put on I just didn’t really get into it. It’s amazing the things you can find on the internet and after spending some time searching for the ‘right’ people I head out to get one piece of my business for today taken care of, buying a gun. Not the legal kind either, heard someone once say ‘never shoot anyone with your gun, it brings the police right to your door’. It’s sound advice considering they can’t find who stabbed me but the second I get attacked and I shoot someone I’m going to be in jail for seven to ten years if they know I have a gun. Everyone is doing their own thing and the rest of the family think I’m trying to get the paint on my car taken care of so my being gone will be covered for why I’m out and about part of the day. I get to a different part of town, one away from where I was nearly stabbed, the second time but a bit closer to where I was stabbed the first time. I could map the town by areas shit has happened to me in a negative way. I decide to leave my car after hitting up the bank, mine not the one the family uses for our allowances, and decide to walk to the meeting. I don’t have an appointment but on Craigslist, I know it’s a cliché but it’s a working one, the person selling is going to be here and I am in need of something compact and automatic. I think I found the guy, some big biker with a long sleeve white shirt under his vest for a top. It looks like he’s meeting with a customer right now so I hang back and wait for him to finish before making my approach.

“I don’t sell to kids,” the biker tells me and I straighten up.

“Not a kid, need a piece,” I keep it short, short is good.

“You need to go back to school,” he informs me as the other customer passes me.

“I need something to protect myself,” I counter then remember the big seller,” I have cash.”

“Go to a store then kid, let them get you a permit and buy one yourself legally,” he informs me and I’m really confused as to why this guy won’t sell to me.

I leave, he’s not budging and walk back to my car confused and now I think I need to find a different person for an illegal gun purchase. I get about a block away when a car pulls up and a very angry female detective I’m familiar with rolls her window down.

“Get in the car Mr. Donnelly,” she orders and now I’m confused.

“Why, I didn’t do anything,” I ask and she glares at me.

“You just attempted to buy an illegal firearm, either you come with me or I take you in,” she informs me and now I’m fucked.

I move around her car and get in the passenger side before she pulls away from the curb and back into traffic. It’s a pretty crappy four door sedan she’s driving and I
figure it’s for her stakeouts as I wait for the lecture.

“What the hell were you doing trying to buy a gun here,” Detective Escalante asks in slightly hostile tone.

“I’m pretty sure I’m not allowed to incriminate myself,” I keep it short and she’s not happy.

“Buying an illegal firearm is not the way to solve your problems if this has anything to do with those other students you claimed stabbed you,” she states trying to take the moral high ground.

“And what is the right way, just trust the police to do their job and it’ll be fine? Or how about I report them for the beatings they gave me to the principal and let him take care of it,” I ask and she winces at my accusations,” Yeah that’s going to work so well in your perfect world but unfortunately authority only works when it’s abused.”

“There was no evidence,” she wants to explain and I cut her off.

“That your crack team of investigators could find. Then there are the students who wouldn’t talk when I was beaten and they either thought it was funny or just kept quiet for their own safety. Oh even better, how about when I try to do business and they surround me and I get punched in the face and have my phone taken away before being told that nobody will testify that I was assaulted and I shouldn’t call the police,” I state my facts and she is ready.

“Buying a gun won’t solve your problem, and when were you assaulted,” the Detective asks fishing for information.

“What does it matter, you won’t do anything anyway. Pull over,” I tell her and she doesn’t,” STOP THE CAR!”

My shouting has her slam on the brakes and after hitting my seat I open the door and exit her sedan. I walk about five steps and hear her coming after me on foot, a hand on my shoulder stops me from walking.

“We’re not done,” she informs me and I wait for her to finish,” What you are looking to do is escalate a situation where someone will get hurt and possibly killed.”

“I have been hurt, I have been nearly killed. I need something to defend myself,” I get the words out and she cuts me off.

“So killing Carlos or Hector or one of their friends is going to fix everything? If they are as bad as you claim they are the second you do they’ll come after you and they won’t care who gets in their way,” Escalante is concerned, it’s stupid concern.

“You think I was going to go after them? I was going to keep it and when they came to attack me AGAIN I was going to defend myself,” I explain and she shakes her head.

“With an illegally purchased firearm,” she states skeptical.

“A firearm purchase takes up to two weeks; I need one a week ago. If I shoot them and I have a registered weapon I immediately go to jail because I shot someone with MY legally registered firearm. If it’s not legal I can destroy it and there is no connection,” I explain and she gives me a shocked look,” what you think I haven’t thought this through? They are coming after me now that they have nothing to worry about thanks to your amazing investigation.”

“You said you were assaulted by recently, why didn’t you report it,” she asks and I shake my head.

“Here’s what would have happened, you and your people would have showed up and asked a bunch of questions. The people involved would have lied about Hector and his buddies being there and me getting hit in the face,” I point out my mostly healed bruise,” and about my phone being held from me so to prevent me from calling. Then after ‘extensive’ deduction I would be told that there isn’t anything more you can do since there isn’t enough evidence and you’d drop the case. Sound familiar?”

The expression on Detective Escalante’s face is one that I can only describe as frustratingly defeated. I know she can counter with ‘the law’ but honestly there are holes in that argument that I could lead a Thanksgiving Day parade through. I turn away from her and continue walking about twenty feet to my car at the paid parking lot I left it at, I had her stop for a reason despite my need to not have a conversation with her. I get to my car, I love it save for the paint job and when I try to get in I see the Detective standing at the back of my car waiting. I leave the door unlocked and wait for her to say her final piece.

“What were you doing the day you were stabbed? You’ve avoided the question with vague answers but I know you held back what you were actually doing,” she asks and I’m full throttle tired of it.

“You want to know, I was meeting a girl I paid for sex. Does that help; does it give you some great insight into how pathetic it has been for me? I couldn’t get a girlfriend in high school because everyone laughed at me as a fucking whipping boy so I had to pay a girl there for sex,” I tell her a little loudly and a bit harsh.

“Why not say that in the first place, we could have interviewed her,” she adds but catches herself,” You already talked to her.”

“Yeah, she thanked me for not getting the police involved and ruining her money making opportunity and she didn’t have anything to do with it,” I state and get an odd look from the detective.

“How can you be so sure,” she asks and I shrug.

“I’m pretty good at reading people, she was thankful that I didn’t expose her but not guilty like she was hiding something. Is there anything else because I’d like to get at least one of my errands done today and since buying something to defend myself with is out I have to find a place to get my car’s paint done,” I explain and hope to end the conversation.

She wishes me good luck with my legal errand and leaves me alone for her police work. Maybe she’ll actually get a lead and catch someone but honestly I don’t care if she does, I have my own problems. Another two hours looking at places to get my paint job done, one ended up with me at a house and some guy offering four hundred to do the whole thing. Yeah I’d end up with a stolen car there. I’m head to the mall to think, it’s only two in the afternoon and I need lunch. I get settled in the food court and get some Asian food, not sure if it’s Japanese or Chinese honestly. I’ve got to find a way to get a gun but if the detective is watching me it’s going to be almost too difficult. I’m halfway through my food when a female, kind of familiar then immediately terrifying sits down across from me.

“Hey there, we didn’t get a chance to talk the other day,” the female mechanic says with a smirk.

“Leave me alone and go back to your boyfriend or I’ll call the police,” I tell her and she shakes her head.

“We’re just talking,” she says and I don’t acknowledge her statement.

“I asked you to leave, now please leave,” I ask again and she settles into her seat.

“I’m sorry I hit you, and held you down with a knife. I didn’t know who you were till my cousin told me later. Carlos would like to talk with you,” she says and I feel my heart begin to beat faster in my chest.

“And I’d like for Carlos to get gang raped by gorillas and his boys to be flayed alive,” I state in a low tone.

“Easy companero, no need for the hostility,” she holds her hands up in mock surrender.

“Hostility? Your cousin has had his boys beat the shit out of me for three years and then they jump me a couple months ago and stab me then leave me for dead in an alley. Now that the police are gone Hector makes it a point to try to push me around and you attack me with no provocation. No need for hostility, your people have made hostility towards me a fucking pastime,” I state letting my anger creep into my voice.

“Wow, MY people,” she asks and I counter.

“Fucking gang members, little fucking groups that make it a point to single out people so they can feel fucking better about themselves so yes. You people,” I clarify cutting off the racist card before she can pull it.

“They ain’t a gang,” the mechanic tries to explain.

“The coordinated clothing colors, traveling in packs and the general level of violence they bring really say ‘we’re not a gang’,” I’m using logic, I don’t know if it sticks.

“You don’t know them, don’t pretend to label them after the shit they’ve been doing to clean up the neighborhoods,” she says and I shake my head.

“Yes because I’ve been such a threat to their hood for the past three years that they needed to beat me and leave me for dead,” again my logic is based after experience.

“Okay so what about your sister threatening Carlos,” she is trying to counter me but I have no clue what she’s talking about,” that cheer bitch telling Carlos that if anything happens to you she’ll fuck up his sister Marta.”

“What the hell are you talking about,” I ask and she laughs a little.

“You didn’t tell your cheerleader sister to have her girls fuck up Marta if anything happened to you,” she says it as a statement instead of a question but her confidence morphs to question,” Wait you didn’t, did you?”

“Why would I want anything to happen to Marta? She’s never done shit to me except turn a blind eye to her brother and his goons kicking my ass,” I state my case and she seems to believe me.

“Well your sister did it anyway and you need to do something about it if you’re so damn innocent,” she says and I agree.

I pull my phone out and make the call, right here and now. I don’t feel like waiting and if I make it a phone call it will be more private but still make my point to this woman sitting across from me. It takes a second for Beth to pick up.

“Guy, what’s going on bro,” Beth asks.

“Hey, I just got word of something and I need you to stop it right now,” I state firmly.

“Stop what,” Beth asks and I hear some confusion.

“No going after Marta, no revenge on my behalf,” I state for the record as the mechanic listens in.

“How did you find out? Did Carlos tell you,” she asks and I have to cut her off.

“Beth, please. Marta did nothing and if you hurt her it doesn’t stop anything. She didn’t do anything to me and I’m asking you, brother to sister, please let your plans go,” I’m being sincere and the mechanic’s face is one of surprise.

“But they can’t get away with what they have been doing,” Beth wants to argue.

“Please, let it go and if you had something planned stop it. For me,” I ask quietly.

“I just wanted to help you,” she counters and I nod even though she can’t see me.

“I know, but not like this. This doesn’t help me; it just hurts more people who don’t deserve it. Promise me it’s over,” I ask expectantly.

“I haven’t started anything but I won’t do it Guy, okay,” she asks and I nod to the mechanic.

We say our goodbye and I hang up my phone before putting it away as the female mechanic watches me with interest.

“So that’s it then,” she asks and I nod,” Carlos still wants to speak with you, settle things man to man.”

“Well fuck him,” my change in demeanor has the mechanic surprised.

“Easy it won’t hurt anyone to talk and that’s all he wants to do is just talk and I think apologize to you. I can have him come here,” she asks and I shake my head,” Why
won’t you just sit down and speak with him, let him say his piece.”

“Because he had his boys beat the shit out of me, humiliate me and leave me for fucking dead in an alley. There is nothing he can say, no apology he can make that will change what has been done,” I state what happened again, seems like I’m doing that a lot but people aren’t understanding how big it is for me.

“Well there’s no getting you to be the better man or whatever and sit down to talk,” she says and I laugh a little again.

“Not really and as for the better man, your cousin Carlos isn’t a man. He’s a thug and a bully, just like your boyfriend Hector,” I get that far and she cuts me off.

“Hector is not my boyfriend; he doesn’t have the balls for that. And my cousin is a better man than you are. He admitted when he screwed up and is trying to at least apologize,” she tells me and I shake my head.

“Are you done? Because honestly there is nothing you can say will change the simple fact that your cousin is a bully and a thug,” I say my piece and stand up to leave.

She doesn’t stop me; she got what she wanted and doesn’t have a reason to stop me. She got what she wanted and I’m actually glad I didn’t learn her name, I don’t want to know her if she’s associated with Carlos, Hector and their gang. My heart is pounding and I’m feeling a little shaky as I get to my car when I hear someone walking up to me and I turn to see someone from my past, the old nurse from high school, Ms. Kim.

“Guy are you alright,” she asks concerned.

“I don’t know,” I reply as my hands begin to shake.

“Take a minute and close your eyes,” she instructs and I follow,” Now deep breathes.”

It takes a few moments but I calm down and the shaking is gone and I don’t feel like falling over. Ms. Kim for those who don’t know her was my school nurse freshman and sophomore year. She mended me after every single fight before leaving and becoming a real nurse. We used to talk while I recovered in the nurse’s station and she would tell me how college was the best thing for her instead of a job. Now that she has a career I can agree with the statement. Add to it she’s twenty six now, stands about five feet tall and is Filipino descent I can honestly say she was the only bright part of the ass kicking experiences I had for two years.

“I saw you sitting with that girl and it didn’t look like you were having a good time, are you alright,” Ms. Kim asks and I nod,” Good, what did she want?”

“She wanted something for her family or some bullshit,” I swear and remember,” Sorry, it slipped out.”

“We’re not at school so once in a while is alright,” Ms. Kim says with a laugh and I nod,” So how have you been?”

We catch up for a few minutes; I recap some of what happened to me over the past few months since beyond that are beatings and humiliation. She’s a little shocked by my stabbing, happy about my family and I coming to terms and getting along. It’s a good talk when I realize it’s kind of cold still being winter in Texas.

“Do you want to go inside and get out of the cold,” I ask and she shakes me off.

“No I was done getting what I need and going to take the bus home,” she says with a smile.

“I can give you a ride,” I offer since we’re standing next to my car.

She relents and we are in my car and heading off towards her home. The direction take me a little bit but I find her apartment, it doesn’t look bad from the outside and I drop her in the parking lot when she hesitates.

“Did you want to come in and talk for a few minutes,” Ms. Kim offers and I have to think.

Okay, woman I had a friendly relationship with for two years is inviting me to her place. I’m just a kid to her but I figure I’ll be polite at least and besides her boyfriend will probably be home soon. I follow her up and once inside take off my boots where prompted and get sat on the couch while Ms. Kim heads to what I can only assume is her bed room to change out of her work clothes. I sit and wait, it feels a little awkward to be here while she’s stripping… don’t get a boner Guy. At least she’s nice to me outside of school and me looking like a punching bag. I’m rejoined by Ms. Kim who gets a couple sodas, orange sodas, and she sits in a chair next to her couch.

“So gearing up for college next year,” she asks and I nod,” any ideas what you plan to study?”

“I don’t have a clue honestly, going to look around a lot and try to absorb what I can before deciding. Like being a real nurse and not just a school nurse,” I ask and she laughs.

“It wasn’t so bad, you kept me busy and sometimes you had a bruise or scrape I could treat properly without getting into too much trouble,” she recalls and I laugh a little.

We talk, she tells me about her family moving back home but her staying in the U.S. and I talk about my one friend and I keep things about my life simple but I still answer her questions when she asks a big one.

“So where is the girlfriend to help mend all your aches and pains,” she asks with a chuckle.

“No girlfriend, haven’t had a girlfriend yet and I don’t think I’m getting one till college at this rate,” I clarify before needing to make a correction,” I’ve been with a few girls but honestly I’m not relationship material or something.”

“You don’t feel confident,” Ms. Kim says and I give her a look,” women love confidence, those stories where a girl falls for the shy loner? He’s confident in who he is and what he does. It’s not about you being super confident all the time but you need to show a little confidence in yourself,” Ms. Kim tells me and I nod.

“That makes sense Ms. Kim,” I reply with a smile.

“It’s just Kim,” she informs me and now I’m surprised,” You thought Kim was my last name?”

“Yeah, but it’s because you put Ms. in front of it,” I keep it honest since it wasn’t because she’s Asian.

We continue to talk, I realize I’m still hungry and figure I should get home for dinner and begin to make my departure only to be stopped by Kim sans the Ms.

“I’ll make us something to eat, you can stay for dinner,” she asks and I figure it’ll be alright.

I let her take care of the kitchen and message Mom that I’m not eating dinner at home and that I’m safe. She lets me know to take care and try not to stay out too late and that she loves me, it’s my Mom, she’s not original but I like it for a change. Kim makes some sauce without spaghetti and hands me soy sauce and fresh cooked vegetables in from a wok, I realize I’m helping her set the table and we sit at two of the four seats and eat. More talking is nice, we’re comfortable and I figure I can ask.

“So what about your boyfriend,” I get the question out and see her face change a little.

“I found out a couple things and broke up with him three months ago,” Kim informs me a little coldly.

“Ouch, cheated,” I ask and she shakes her head.

“No, he was an asshole and I found out he was setting me up to do a gang bang because he heard Filipino women were easy,” she says and I am really stunned.

“Well at least you found out before it happened,” I reply trying to be positive about her break up.

“Yeah worst part was I found out his nickname for me to his friends was bucket,” she says it and I am puzzled by it,” I was on his ‘Bucket List’ of things his do before he died. Listed under types of women to sleep with or something.”

“Okay, I agree he is an asshole,” I joke and she laughs.

“Well at least you aren’t a virgin going into college, some girls don’t find that very… attractive,” she informs me and I smirk a little.

“Would it help my chances if I had some solid references,” I ask in a joke,” With college girls?”

“Depends on the girl, some like to be surprised and some like to know that he hasn’t been with every single coed on campus. Women are funny like that,” she answers and we both laugh.

“Well I’ll remember that but even the first girl said I was good, just needed more experience and you only get that with practice,” I state and she nods in agreement.

“Yes well I am out of practice but considering my ex got bored with me after the first month and started to want to spice things up and not in a cute way I’m going to settle for enthusiasm and eager,” Kim states her point on the matter and I can understand that.

She insists on taking my plate and cleaning up so I sit and watch her from the small dining room as she stores leftovers and rinses off dishes. She’s got a nice pair of jeans on; they hug her hips really well. Add to that her fuzzy knit sweater with the sleeves stopping at the elbows and her shoulder length black hair straight and simple. I get up from my spot at the table and move into the kitchen and watch Kim for a little bit as she finishes the dishes and turns to see me standing there with no surprise that I’m standing there. I take my time moving across the floor of the kitchen to Kim whose face goes from light smile to confusion.

“Guy what are you doing,” she asks a question that is usually what a young man needs to hear before realizing he’s making a mistake.

“I was… I don’t… Okay I’m gonna go since I’ve clearly got the wrong idea,” I say and remember Mrs. Lawson,” No actually I don’t want to go just yet.”

I get back to Kim and with my 6 feet of height versus her 5 feet I have to lean down to kiss her. It’s soft and full of hesitation from her and I am a bit nervous. I begin to pull away when Kim pulls me down to her a little and we kiss more but harder and with a lot more intensity. I have my hands on Kim’s waist and want to pull against me but my groin is at her belly and it’s kind of awkward when she reaches behind herself and breaking the kiss hops her ass onto the counter pulling me back in at almost the same height now, okay she’s a little taller now but it doesn’t stop us. Now I have my hands on her ass and pull her against me as she wraps her arms around my neck and we resume our kiss. We press our bodies against each other as our mouths declare open for business. She pulls off my shirt and I barely get hers off before she goes for the button on my jeans and getting hers off her ass and taking the panties with them was no small feat. Kim is leaned back a little on the counter and I get just the head of me at the entrance to her pussy and push inside. I get about three inches in and because of counter and angles that’s it leaving a little over half of me outside so I try to enjoy what I’m getting for now and love the fact that Kim is wet and taking me pretty damn well. I keep trying to get a little more of me in her but the angle isn’t working and finally I pull out to adjust when Kim hops off the counter and begins walking me out of the kitchen. We end up down the hall in her bedroom and while I’d look around I’m more interested in the five foot Filipina that is on her hands and knees on her bed.

“It’s not as big as I’ve been used to so please hold out,” Kim tells me without actually looking back and I smirk.

She thought I only had three to four inches and I’m behind her with eight total, this should be interesting. I move in behind Kim with my knees on the bed and push only half inside her getting a moan as I begin moving. I’m going slow just enjoying the feel and the fact that I have probably one of the best surprises in sex waiting for Kim. It’s a sweet feeling as Kim might just be the smallest female other than Lex I’ve been with, unlike Alexandra however Kim is vocal. She moans, whines a little and encourages every single thrust inside her and I figure it’s time to see if she’s faking or not and slow down a bit. I’m not close but after a couple minutes of slow and half I want the main event.

“Kim… are you ready,” I ask and almost see her head go down in a little disappointment.

“It’s okay, just finish outside okay. Little faster please,” Kim tells me and I decide to surprise her,” Holy shit…. fuck!”

I put the whole of me inside her and Kim’s reaction matched her initial ones, not. Eight inches buried inside her and I move faster filling the room with her panting and the sound of our hips smacking together. I feel amazing as I stretch Kim out taking her like this and she lets me know it.

“Oh my god you… you’re splitting me in half…,” Kim groans as I thrust away.

It is a great feeling to be in charge after Mrs. Lawson pretty much ran me around the sex Olympics. I speed up and instead of pulling Kim back into me keep her in place and give it to her. I’m sweating a little, Kim is moaning a lot and I stop thrusting leaving half inside her as we both catch our breath. I lean forward and move my hand around her waist to her stomach and down further finding her clit in the light fur on her pussy and rub it. Kim squeaks as I touch her and begins backing into me hard so I respond by
fucking her back hard but I don’t stop rubbing her clit.

“Holy shit your dick feels so fucking good… I’m gonna cum…,” she repeats the last part over and over.

It doesn’t take too long for Kim to shake and clamp down on me as her orgasm rushes through her body. I simply hold on and keep pounding letting my own control go and as she almost collapses face first on her bed with her ass in the air I pull out and spray down her crack. I don’t lose complete control of my senses as I cum and once I finish I lay down next to Kim on my back. We breathe, we relax and after a short bit Kim gets up and heads off to what I can only assume is her bathroom. I hear water and some shuffling around as I push myself to the head of the bed and rest my head on a pillow. Kim returns all naked with her small breasts and nice wide ass pulling down blankets out from under me and pulling them back up over us after crawling into bed. I want to say something but a finger over my lips gives me the impression that it’s quiet time. We relax, I think about how well that went considering it might not have and when Kim rolls over I spoon up against her.

I figured I’d cuddle with Kim for a bit, we’d talk and then it’d be get dressed and head home. So as light is coming through her bedroom window I realize that plan I had last night is fucked, worse now Kim isn’t next to me. I get up, put pants on and head out into the apartment to find Kim with a robe on drinking coffee and eating oatmeal. She smiles at me as I sit down.

“So that was… unique,” Kim tells me smiling.

“Last night,” I ask and she nods.

“Here I am trying to give you relationship advice one minute and the next I’m having sex with a guy,” we both smirk at her use of my name as a word,” I could have baby sat.”

“Does that make it awkward,” I ask and she shakes her head.

“No but usually men are expecting me to do something different since I am Filipino but I was raised in Arizona,” Kim informs me and I laugh a little at the stereotype.

“Well I’m just glad I didn’t completely ruin our night,” I joke and she laughs with me.

Breakfast is short but good and I finish dressing and decide to not ask questions about what this means since I have a feeling I already know. It was nice; she needed it more than I did probably but long term like I’m looking for? Kim isn’t it. However it’s nice to have someone who has been there to mend your wounds to talk with about things and that is a good thing I believe. I head down to the apartment parking lot and back to where I parked my car… okay I think I parked my car here? I walk around the lot and keep looking for my car and finally realize it’s not here. Stolen, someone stole my car. I send out a message to Mom letting her know I’m sorry that I didn’t come home but I’m safe just having a couple problems and that I’ll tell her everything, okay mostly everything, when I see her at home. I don’t get an immediate response but I notice my messages from online and one from a new person. I read the message and almost throw my phone against the ground.
Hey, so when you get this you’ll probably be pissed off but your car is at Dutch’s garage. We’ll work out the details on your payment with Dutch when you get here. –Imelda

I know where the shop is from here, it’s a good distance away and I stop off and catch a bus. I was just getting used to driving and now I’m back on the bus heading to one of the top five last places I want to be. I hop off the bus after about forty five minutes or so and march into Dutch’s Auto Repair and Body Work.

“Where is my car,” I ask and a couple mechanics look at me for a second.

“Hey there you are, Imelda said you’d be showing up,” Dutch greets me with a smile, I’m not smiling.

“I want my car back now,” I tell him and he loses his smile.

“Take it easy son,” Dutch begins and I cut him off.

“I’m not your son, don’t ever call me that, ever. Return my car or I will call the police and have you arrested for possession of stolen property,” I tell Dutch who shrugs.

I watch him head past his maintenance bays and into a separate part of the shop. There are tubes and air compressors all over the room, I see my car covered it tape on a tarp that has been laid across the floor. Best part is the old grey/silver glitter paint has been stripped off and now it’s just bare metal. Imelda, the female mechanic has a sander or something in her hand and looks tired but smiles at me for a moment before realizing I’m not in a good mood.

“You got my message,” she says trying to be positive.

“That you stole my car? It’ll help when I file criminal charges,” I reply to her before turning to Dutch,” And possession of stolen property doesn’t look good for you either.”

“Listen, kid,” he says kid and I scowl,” alright. We already stripped her down, it’ll be a week plus but we can do the job you wanted. Normal price and all.”

“What part about ‘I didn’t hire you to do anything and your employee stole my car’ are you not understanding,” I ask and he tries to guide me out of the room,” Don’t fucking touch me.”

I take my phone out and begin to make a call but as usual for the area it’s taken out of my hand by Dutch and he is giving me a slightly pleading yet forceful expression.

“Listen kid, be reasonable. Bad things happened and we’re just trying to make some sort of amends and…,” I am done listening so I leave,” Kid, kid come back for a minute.”

I don’t reply, I don’t turn I just keep walking and I plan. First get to Mr. Delauter’s business and tell him everything since I was trying to call him anyway. Second come down here with police and my Step Dad/Lawyer to witness charges being filed and assholes being taken to jail. Third see about buying the building and have the whole thing razed to the earth and salt the ashes. Okay not much chance of the last part but I can hope. I get half way to the bus stop and am almost knocked to the ground as someone tries to stop me by grabbing my long sleeve shirt by the shoulder. I catch myself and get up wiping grit from my hands as I see Imelda, the bitch, standing there in her white painter coverall.

“Hey Dutch was trying to talk to you and make shit right,” she says and I’m really not in the mood.

“What part of talking is going to make anything right,” I ask and she sighs.

“Maybe seeing things from the other side for a change? Maybe seeing that some people do shit and maybe when they realize the fucked up the only thing they can do is be real about it and apologize,” Imelda informs me and I shake my head.

“So people steal from me, twice. I’m beaten up for years. I’m stabbed and left for dead to bleed out in an alley to die and I’m supposed to sit down and talk with them to help them feel better? Are you normally this deluded or is this because you’ve been breathing paint fumes,” I leave the last part as a joke.

“It’s wrong but you ain’t letting anyone make it right the right way. We gotta do something,” she says and it’s like I’m in church.

“How about leaving me the fuck alone? Did anyone even consider that,” I ask and she shrugs.

“You did my family a solid, you didn’t know but you called off whatever on my cousin. That you did for me because I asked,” she says and I stop her.

“I did that because it was, is the right thing to do. You didn’t ask either,” I say it and she begins to protest,” You said that if I was such a good person I’d do something about it. Now I did and less than a day later you steal my car and take it in to your asshole boss.”

“First off he’s not an asshole; he looks out for his employees like family. Second yes I took your car to get that shitty as paint job pulled off and help everyone by making a little money, I could have had it chopped somewhere or sold but all I was trying to do was get you talking,” Imelda says explaining herself.

“Well hold onto the car and the phone because when I come back I’m bringing a lawyer worth more than your entire shop and the police,” I state before attempting to turn around, she stops me again.

“Listen, I’ll make you a deal. You let us do the job, pick the color and everything like a normal customer but if you don’t like it I’ll pay for the whole thing or we’ll redo it,” she’s trying to pitch me on the business,” And I have your phone.”

This Imelda woman hands me back my phone which I take cautiously and debate about starting my phone call to Mr. Delauter. I put the phone away for now as she waits for an answer.

“Why should I? You’re so keen to do all this for my business? You’re trying to win me over so I’ll talk to your cousin,” I ask questions trying to find her angle.

“Well one I don’t want to go to jail, that’s a big one for me and you could probably do it even though I’m trying to change your mind about some of us,” She explains and I wait,” And two because that paint job they had on there was shit and if you like the work you might get some upscale clients to come in and everybody wins.”

“You want to change my mind about some of you,” I ask and she nods,” What like gang members and their accomplices?”

“No, Latinos. You come off as racist to someone who doesn’t know what happened to you,” she explains and I shrug.

“And I care what people think,” I ask and she nods.

“Yeah, unless you’re an animal. People care what other people think about them, especially people who say they don’t. Give us the chance, it’s a two grand job what you were asking for,” she says and I didn’t ask for anything,” You saved your spots in the book for color and what you wanted.”

I walk back to the shop and she keeps pace smiling a little, not super confident but a little happy I guess. It takes her a minute to pull Dutch aside and I pay for the whole thing right there as Imelda stares at the cash I just laid down. I’m written a receipt and time for expected completion is posted on it. I take my copy and leave, no point in standing around while they work if it’s going to be more than a week. Nobody follows me or comes after me as I make it to the bus stop and head towards home. I’m not greeted much coming in since it looks like the only ones home are Bethany who is in her room and Rosa who gives me a smile and a wave as I leave her to her work. I shower, change and settle down into my room to relax only to get a knock at my door. Bethany enters when I offer entrance and seeing me has a sad look on her face.

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t want them to come after you anymore,” she informs me and I remember the conversation yesterday over the phone.

“I don’t know if it was guilt or shame or whatever that made you threaten to hurt Marta if anything happened to me but you have to know that violence to her isn’t something I’d want. You can’t hurt someone just because you got hurt or someone close to you got hurt,” I explain and she nods,” Thank you for trying though.”

“But you didn’t want it and hated the idea,” Beth clarifies a little confused.

“I didn’t like the idea, yes but you wouldn’t do it if you didn’t care a little about me or love Mom like you do,” I state because it’s the truth as I see it,” It’s where the thought came from that counts and you were trying to help me.”

“I don’t want to lose Mom and she doesn’t treat me like she did before. I understand why and I did that,” Beth says leading me to something,” I’m still seeing Dr. Hill and I would like it if you’d rejoin our sessions.”

“Why and probably not,” I ask and state my answer.

“Because she has shown me a lot over the past few months and while I heard you out you never got to hear me get questioned,” she has a decent argument except for the fact I hate Dr. Hill.

“Well honestly I don’t care about the why anymore, I didn’t really care a couple months ago when everyone swore there would be a change in how I was treated. Why isn’t important to me, I’m just looking at where I’m going and what I’m doing from this point forward,” I explain and she nods a little.

“Well I still have another plan for you, it might not do much but it’ll make a couple people sweat and nobody will get hurt,” Beth says and now I’m interested.

She doesn’t give me many details, just who it will impact which surprises me considering the popularity of Beth and her friends. I relax after Beth leaves with some games and reflection on the past thirty six hours. I basically let a woman steal my car and make me pay for a paint job from people I don’t trust and I have no clue why other than she could slit my throat or kick my ass. She didn’t seem like she wanted to do that the two times we actually spoke but after the first time I’m not taking any chances. I get a couple hours before I can hear Mom downstairs and I stop my game to go see her it takes about four seconds to figure out she’s not happy. I decide to go to her in the foyer than wait for her to come to me.

“Why the hell didn’t you call me last night? Do you know how worried I’ve been,” Mom asks with a little more heat than I’ve ever seen from her.

“I don’t know but I can guess and I’m sorry Mom. Things got away from me and before I knew it I was sleeping on a couch at a new friend’s house,” yes it’s a lie but I’m being sincere,” I didn’t call and I was wrong.”

She’s mad but after three months gone from being left dead in an alley she has a right to be mad with me. I get a hug and Mom takes her time with it before letting me go and then the threat.

“Call, I don’t care what is going on you call. Understand,” Mom informs me,” Don’t call and I’ll have Bethany make you into a male cheerleader with a skirt.”

We laugh a little, it’ll never happen and that’s the point of the threat. The family settles in for the evening and after dinner everyone heads into their own directions and I head back to my room and hop on my computer to find I have about a dozen more friend requests on Facebook from people I don’t know or barely know and a message from Marta. I take a look at it and realize it’s not actually Marta.

-Hey man, spoke with my cousin and she said that you talked to your sister and called off her people. I don’t know what to do about this situation and I want to talk with you and bury this. –C

I don’t know why but as good of a day as I was having and how I’ve been feeling this sets me off and I’m pacing my room and feel like punching a hole in something. Problem with that is other than my bed there isn’t anything I can punch that I won’t break my hand on. Nobody comes and sees me before I calm down and I get some sleep while looking forward to school in the next few days.

Detective Nancy Escalante

With the surveillance detail on Mr. Ortega and his people removed and I find the victim, Guy Donnelly attempting to buy an illegal firearm from an undercover cop. He probably didn’t know that Detective James was an undercover cop with the biker get up but when I saw him walking into it I had to message him to not sell to Guy. Looking at everything that happened before, the beatings and the humiliation that he endured I’m surprised he didn’t kill someone or himself but with my having to close the case and the watch dogs in blue to keep Carlos and his boys in check I’m expecting a call about reprisal. Worst part of the lack of evidence is Captain Miller, he’s been breathing down my neck about not being able to get any solid leads on a lawyer, a wealthy powerful lawyer’s step son being stabbed. Add to that Guy’s mother being the new saint of halfway houses and soup kitchens and I’m under the gun to get some cases off desk and closed.

I’m in Carl’s, that’s the full name of the bar considering Carl is a retired swat captain and if you aren’t a cop and drinking there you’re probably in the wrong place. I’m about two drinks in and going to stop at three when three chairs on my table pull out and the seats are taken by Detective James, Detective Crawford and Officer Martinez. James is the large bald white biker minus the vest and going with a simple jacket and jeans, Detective Crawford is white also and sporting a high and tight for his brown hair and blue suit minus a tie, and then there’s Officer Martinez Crawford’s new boy and a bit of a cowboy with the hat and boots.

“Detectives,” I greet them turning to Martinez,” Officer, what can I do for you?”

“Miller was busting my balls today about you stopping that buy,” Detective James says reminding me of Guy.

“Yeah but he’s not going to get you closer to the gun runners you think are out there. He’s a scared kid,” I tell James who nods a little in agreement.

“Well we heard about you and the lack of evidence on the kid’s stabbing. Kind of funny how everyone around that group won’t say talk about the beatings they gave that kid. If the boy were mine I’d have pulled that Carlos kid? I’d have pulled him aside and let the boy beat the shit out of him,” Detective Crawford states as their drinks arrive.

“That beating should have been enough, they’ve done close to it before but why stab him,” I muse for the rest to think on,” It was more than they ever thought if it was them.”

“Escalation maybe,” James asks and Martinez shakes his head.

“Nah, it’s about being able to get away with it. They had to know the kid was rich and had a powerful family. They get away with killing him or getting that close to it and they can say they took it to the rich white folk,” Martinez says it and it makes sense.

“Maybe but there was nothing putting them at the scene, no physical evidence and no witnesses. Even the kid himself couldn’t give me anything concrete,” I tell them
shaking my head,” All he could tell me other than masks was they spoke Spanish.”

“Yeah that narrows it down to at least half the city,” Crawford jokes and all of us laugh.

We all laugh a little and talk about nothing before I head back to my home. Inside and in some sweats I check my messages. I don’t have any and it’s upsetting me more than I thought. We dated, things were great and now we’re on a break because when I was there he wasn’t and when he was there I wasn’t thanks to both our jobs. I must remind myself that it was his choice and I won’t call him, I didn’t want a break. I’m laying in bed thinking; Guy said he wanted a gun to protect himself. Why not get a legal one if you are looking for self defense?

Guy Donnelly: Wednesday two weeks into January

I got my car back but I don’t take it to school, not because I don’t want to but Bethany is attempting to bond with me by us hanging out for thirty minutes a time as we go to and from school. Did Carlos’s cousins’ shop do a good job, yes. Did I pitch a fit about it and try to get it for free, no. I just didn’t show any real emotion when I got it back. I told them it was fine and left but I’ll be the first to admit the new color makes the car seem like a different machine, more dark and mysterious. Also considering it’s not a traditional color for the classic muscle car it stands out as unique. The whole way to school today Beth was pestering me in her truck to meet her and the girls for something after second lunch. I have first lunch and could go home if I was taking my car but I figure I’ll try to be at the auditorium. Classes go by quickly enough and I even catch up with Syd who is waiting to see my new car now that it’s finished and I promise we’ll go out for a drive or something. Her parents really like me I’m guessing since I’ve been invited over for dinner a couple times and it has been a nice thing. My best friend is the closest thing I have to a girlfriend but neither of us see each other that way and I’ve tried to. I think Syd just isn’t interested in me but that’s alright when she’s at least someone I can count on for the most part.

I make it to the auditorium and have Lela show me into the stage area from the side where I’m fitted with a microphone while Bethany briefs me on what is happening.

“Okay there are just a couple judges out there so just focus on your singing and when talking use the microphone on the stage otherwise this one is for singing only,” she informs me referencing the one on my chest.

“Alright but what judges, is this a talent show or something,” I ask and she shakes her head.

“I need you to trust me, this will be worth it,” Beth informs me and I am shown to the side of the stage.

I wait and when my name is called I discover there is nobody else on the stage and the lights are pretty bright so I can’t see the crowd. I must look goofy in a black long sleeve t shirt and jeans with black high top shoes as I hear someone addressing me.

“Guy Donnelly,” I am asked by a male voice and I nod,” I’m Mr. White, with me are Mrs. Lawson and Mr. Akagi. Your request for an open audition is a little late in the season for a scholarship but Mrs. Lawson assures me you are worth a listen.”

“Thank you,” I reply, scholarship?

I hear the music cue up and Beth is working to my strengths as Vesti la Guibba from Paggliacci cues up and I step away from the standing microphone and ready myself. I work every piece as well as I ever have before and I’m so glad I can’t see the judges laughing at me as the lights are bright and my eyes aren’t really focusing on anything. I get to the weeping at the end and keep it as perfect as I can before the music cuts out and I stand moving back to the standing microphone on the side of the stage.

“That was acceptable but we need another piece to base your vocal range off of, do you have something more current? Also in English,” I hear a different man ask and it sounds like there is talking near their microphone,” It looks like from the list you do.”

I hear the music pop on and step away, Beth must have picked this one just to have a laugh because she’s attempted to sing it with me. For the record she can sing, in the shower, with dogs howling as back up. Actually she’s been trying to get me into other music but the only thing I’ve bothered singing is from a band called Queen and their lead singer Freddy Mercury. He was considered one of the greatest and now ‘Somebody to Love’ is coming out over the speakers minus lead vocals. There is a movement you have to have to help with the beat of the song and I feel ridiculous but if Freddy Mercury didn’t feel like a goof ball singing it in front of thousands I better suck it up for three judges. I swear the stomping in the bass of the song is louder than usual but the auditorium is built to push sound if you go all out for vocals and I am. The song finally comes to the end with the final piano notes and I stand waiting for my review.

“Mr. Donnelly what training do you have? There is no listing on your application,” I hear the first voice, Mr. White.

“I’ve never had any classes or instructors, I just copied what I heard as best I could over the years,” I say and I hear an unexpected reply.

“Has your microphone been off this whole time,” I hear a female voice ask, it’s Mrs. Lawson.

I check and see it’s switched into the off position, Beth you pranking bitch, okay she was having a little fun with me and I figure out how to turn it on.

“Is that better,” I ask.

“You’ve been performing this whole time without a microphone,” I’m asked again and I nod.

“I guess so,” I reply and two lights cut out and I’m fucked.

There aren’t three judges. Well there is but there is also about thirty to forty people sitting in the auditorium, mostly students here and the judges are in the back. The very far back where they could barely hear me.

“I’m sorry if you didn’t hear me very well,” I say and people laugh, why are they laughing.

“Actually we heard you very well Mr. Donnelly,” I see the older glasses wearing man and figure its Mr. White.

I am dismissed from the stage and Bethany is smiling to beat all as I come back to her very stern faced.

“What the hell,” I ask and she holds her hands up in surrender.

“You just killed it out there and now they’re wondering how the hell you got so good with no training and no microphone,” Beth explains before smiling again,” And right now Jenna is probably pissing her panties.”

“What scholarship,” I ask and now I’m being led out of the building.

“Jenna is going for that performing arts and music school scholarship right,” Beth reminds me and I nod, we talked about it months ago,” Well if someone with more talent than some light dance and a modeling portfolio were to put their name up against hers, say a young man who can sing opera and has no training? She’d be out her school money and would probably have to work a job just to get close to where she was hoping this would take her.”

Beth is a bitch, a complete bitch but that bitch is on my side for once and I’m just curious what the fall out is going be with this turn of events.

Bethany: Second Lunch before Guy’s performance

“We have everything in place,” I double check with the two audio/video techs I got to help with my plan.

They nod, they’re intimidated and considering I’m giving one of their girlfriends beauty lessons and helping the other get a date for one of the parties this weekend they better be ready. I make it to the girls who, Lela and Lex, who are excited at the plan in place when we’re joined by the rest of the squad.

“So he better show up,” Lex says hopeful.

“He will, I’ve been working with him the past two weeks and now we show off my brother,” I reply and Lex smiles.

“What the hell is this about,” Jenna asks marching in heels up to our table with her invitation.

“That would be the invitation that went out to most of the music club and a couple teachers, how did you get one,” I ask knowing full well that Tim Baxter was going to show her.

“The performing arts scholarship committee isn’t supposed to take any more applicants and now you have Guy auditioning? Are you trying to hurt him, he’ll be embarrassed,” Jenna says it but she doesn’t sound sincere.

“Actually I think his chances are better than yours,” Lela says and now all the girls are looking at Jenna.

“What does that mean, I didn’t do anything,” Jenna responds being very defensive.

“But I did,” Lex says it and I’m waiting,” When you were running Guy around by the collar I had the ‘good fortune’ to go on a date with Brandon.”

“Brandon dated a few girls so what,” Jenna replies and I just watch the drama unfold, and I love it.

“Yeah but it’s too bad the reputation doesn’t match the performance,” Lex says it before making it simple,” That means he can talk a good date but the ending was lacking.”

“You didn’t have sex with Brandon,” Jenna states unsure but angry.

“Well actually he more had sex with me but if you want to compare notes I’m pretty sure we could find a couple other girls who had sex with Brandon,” Alexandra is on a roll and Jenna is turning red.

“Well you also had sex with Beth’s brother Guy,” Emily says almost ignoring Jenna.

“Yes thank god, I could have gone complete lesbo after Brandon,” Lex says it and lowers her voice,” I’m gonna grab your ass while I cum baby.”

The imitation is pretty good as all the girls laugh, all except Jenna who wants to take a swing and the first one to see it other than me is Lela. Jenna could take a shot at Alexandra but her modeling career would be over after Lela stomped her face into the cafeteria floor and Jenna knows it.

“Well he can’t be that good if he’s never had a girlfriend,” Jenna gets the words out and now everyone is shocked at the reply.

“Good enough to be the only white boy to meet my standards,” Lela says it and the girl never told me.

“You did not,” I ask and she shrugs.

“He was good and not a pussy about it either,” Lela states and now the girls are interested.

And it’s not just the girls at my table; a couple passing girls heard that too. Well get in line ladies because the standard for my brother will be pretty fucking high and you got to get through my ladies approval and mine to get on his dance card. Okay if he really wants a girl we’ll help but last thing I want is a bunch of girls trying out the new boy the cheer squad found. Not another broken heart for Guy if I have a say in the matter.

“Well it’s probably good that Guy finally got with a couple girls in his range,” Jenna only gets the words out long enough to regret them.

“Wow, did it burn you to have to come to the formal in Brandon’s Mom’s car,” Natalie, my resident Spanish speaking friend, asks Jenna and even Lela is taking a seat,” You know what your problem is? You don’t even realize you lost the golden goose. You remember that story? Let me go kindergarten for you. Basically you had a boy who was smart, had money and would worship the ground you walk on and what did you do? You went back to the four minute man who might be lucky enough to get half way through college on his scholarship before blowing out his knee or failing out if he doesn’t cheat on you first.”

“Brandon has prospects,” the not so supermodel tries to retort but Nat is on a roll.

“Emily, educate her,” Nat asks her bestie.

“Only one point six percent of college football players make it to the NFL and the average 4.74 years a career. Add to that the standard pay per year in the NFL is 1.9 million,” Emily, the Chinese smart cheerleader, drops some hard numbers,” that means you’ll have to keep the luxury lifestyle simple considering he’ll be making more than you for a little while if he makes it.”

“Basically you’re betting on, no offense Lela,” Nat says to Lela who nods,” A dark horse.”

“And he’s not really much of a horse either if in four minutes he can’t get me off once but in twenty or so Guy got me off twice,” Lex finishes out the bashing and Jenna is almost done for the day.

“So why aren’t any of you hooking up with the ‘golden goose’ or whatever you call Guy,” she asks and I figure I have to end this.

“Because they’re not gold diggers. If they were interested in Guy for real then he would be lucky but my squad doesn’t play games like that with a boy. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to set up and greet a family friend,” I end out Jenna’s slamborie with that.

All the cheer squad stand and leave heading for the parking lot so I can meet Mrs. Lawson. She brought two of the scholarship judges for today. Step one, make Jenna second guess Guy. Step two; watch Guy threaten Jenna’s dreams.

Guy Donnelly: End of School Day

Well my ‘audition’ was interesting and afterwards I was pulled aside by the school music teacher and spoke with all three judges who were very interested in where I would be pursuing my scholarship if I were to get the full ride. USC is the one that Mr. White keeps informing me of but Mr. Akagi keeps bringing up travel abroad and that sparks my interest more than a little. Both leave and I get the privilege of walking Mrs. Lawson to her car.

“So have you recovered well enough,” she asks and I nod getting a smile from her,” So that sister of yours is trying to show you off for her benefit?”

“I don’t think so, I think she’s trying to get in the head of a girl we both know,” I explain and Mrs. Lawson thinks for a moment.

“And she has an application for the same scholarship,” she asks and I again nod,” Would it happen to be Jenna Christianson?”

“That would be her, know her very well,” I ask and she smiles as we reach her car.

“Honey I was her,” I get the door and allow Mrs. Lawson to take the driver seat of her car.

“I honestly doubt that Mrs. Lawson,” I state and get a curious and slightly sour look,” You are a beautiful woman and she’s a spoiled bitch.”

“Well get in boy and I’ll drive you home for today,” Mrs. Lawson says laughing at my joke.

The ride home is brief yet fun as Mrs. Lawson and I talk about nothing important and I get a kiss on the cheek as I head inside. Mom isn’t home yet but Mark is and I don’t get across to the stairs before he comes out and calls for gym time. I change and we head out in his car since he’s pretty much glued to it. We tried to do a family thing once with all of us in two vehicles and he ended up driving his own making it three vehicles. We get through basic work out and I use the indoor track to get some running in before Mark stops me and brings me into what he likes to call ‘Battle Zone’. It’s really a room with heavy bags, dummies for beating on and slamming and pads on the floor for sparing if there is a class. We get in and he hands me pads, this will not end well.

“Okay, I’m not into fighting Mark. We’ve talked about this,” I tell him dropping the pads.

“Come on, I’m not gonna hit you or anything. We’re just going to do something with the heavy bag and the speed bag,” Mark pushes picking up the pads and handing them to me.

“Mark I’m not a fighter, stop trying to make me something I’m not and don’t want to be,” I throw the pads at him and leave the room.

Back to the track and I run another four laps before stopping and heading back to the rest of the gym. It takes me a little bit to find Mark, he’s hitting on women at the elliptical trainer and when he sees me he nods that he’ll be there in a few and I decide to wait by the car. It doesn’t take long for Mark to get out to me and soon enough we’re in the car and on our way home. It’s quiet in the car since Mark probably thinks I’m upset with him since I had to lay down the law on what I will and will not do. We get home and still no words are said between us and I finally have to explain myself.

“I know you’re trying to help me,” I get it out and Mark stops to look at me,” I get why; I’m just not a violent person. Yeah I get angry but I don’t know what it is about me I just don’t think to fight. It’s just not who I am.”

“Well next time you better call me so I can kick someone’s ass for you in advance,” Mark retorts after a pause.

I shower, the family eats and proceed to enjoy my evening and in the morning it’s Saturday and I have nothing that needs to be done. I figure on doing something different so I decide to help Mom. Granted she’s not doing anything today so we sit and talk, then she helps Bethany with something on a dress or whatever and we go back to watching TV and talking. We spend most of the day doing this and it feels amazing, okay emotionally it feels good but with no pressure and nothing to get in the way I actually get to talk to Mom about things. We go over Beth’s plan to fuck with Jenna, my audition; I explain who my friend was that I stayed with when I was with Kim. I don’t give details that would get me in trouble or weird looks but I do get to dump a little bit of my life out for her and she just listens and offers encouragement. When the subject of me dating comes up she has a very opposite opinion as to what I should want or do.

“I don’t think you need a girlfriend now honey,” Mom informs me and I’m a little shocked.

“Okay but why,” I have to ask.

“Because you’re going to be moving on in a couple months and going to college. Is she going to follow you? Is she going to want to? Are you going to change your plans for her and short yourself on an amazing future,” Mom asks these questions and now I have to think.

“I see your point… but I still want a girl that loves me and one I can love back,” I tell her and she smiles.

“You’re a sweetheart, that’s why,” Mom informs me and I get a hug.

And that’s Mom telling me I’m too nice. I’m must be too nice but what’s the alternative, become a raging asshole to everyone? I don’t know if it’s true and at times like this I wish I could remember more about Dad. How did he get Mom originally? Was he an asshole to her or just people in general? Questions like this keep me moderately occupied during the weekend, either that or just hanging out at home and watching as Beth seems to rejoice at the small surge in popularity I seem to have found and I discover that I have four new invites to be friends on Facebook and one is the arts program at school. Yeah a group invite to be friends, super excited here.

Monday I am back at school and with my classes being mostly elective or college based on the computer I find I have more than a little time to relax and just work at my own pace and after lunch I find I’m being followed. Okay she’s following me but she’s not being very subtle about it calling after me to stop. I don’t and when I finally get a hand on my shoulder decide to acknowledge her.

“Guy didn’t you hear me,” Jenna asks a little out of breath.

“Yes, I just don’t feel the need to stop,” I reply and begin to turn so I can leave.

“We need to talk,” Jenna informs me looking around,” alone please?”

I keep walking since I was heading to the library has the computers I use for the college classes I’m taking. I get into a cubicle and begin to log in as Jenna stands next to me expectantly and I have to point to the sign in and the cubicle next to me for her to actually get a seat. She signs up for the one next to me since I’m next to the wall, safe place for me, and begins in a whisper.

“I heard you are going out for the same performing arts scholarship,” she says and I know she was there.

“It’s something that gives me options in case academics fail,” I’m making a joke…. and she doesn’t get it.

“I need you to back out,” Jenna asks and I stop loading up class pages to look at her,” I know it’s selfish to ask.”

“Yes but you’re a pretty selfish person, I’m just surprised that you decided to be so brazen about asking,” I am pretty sure most of the words I’m using are in her vocabulary.

“I’m not selfish,” Jenna says it and I give her the ‘really’ look,” It’s just this is part of my plan, you knew that and now you’re probably ‘the’ one person who is going to take the scholarship after your performance last week.”

“Wow, I’m really that much of a threat,” I ask a little surprised.

“I was a front runner and I’ve been campaigning for the scholarship and in one weekend things are being reviewed, do you know what that means,” Jenna asks and I feel a little smug.

“That people have minds that can be changed by one apparently amazing performance,” I ask in return, okay it’s a lot smug but I’m allowed.

“That means they’re looking at you for the scholarship and there’s nothing left for me to show since you got an emergency audition. I’ll get the scholarship if you drop out since I was the front runner from our school,” Jenna explains and I shrug.

“I understand,” I reply turning to my computer.

“Thank you for this,” Jenna almost squeals and I look to her.

“For what,” I ask and she smiles.

“For backing out of the scholarship,” Jenna tells me and I shake my head.

“But I didn’t, I said I understand. That means I can heard what you said and I can see the point you are trying to make without actually agreeing with it or committing to the idea proposed,” I say all that and smile before turning back to my computer.

“Please, I know you misread how I felt about you back before the holidays and I’m sorry about that,” Jenna apologizes and I stop everything to listen,” but this is my life, my future at stake. I need your help.”

“Okay you say it’s your life but what about my life,” I ask and she looks at me a little astonished I mentioned me in ‘her’ conversation.

“You have money and are an amazing student, you don’t need the scholarship,” she states and I can’t disagree… however.

“I don’t need this but maybe you should think about whether or not I ‘want’ this. Maybe I’ve been ignored and stepped on for so long that I deserve something back. Maybe after all the money I spent on you, helping with pictures, dinners at places you wanted to go and then only being relegated to some sad little boy that should never have been next to you in your mind in the first place I deserve to take something from you. You hurt me, you didn’t care or even notice that you did it but you just did and then when I was hurt you didn’t care about what you had done,” I recall everything in my harsh whisper for Jenna who stares at me a little horrified,” So maybe by me getting this scholarship I’m being made whole, karmically speaking.”

“But I never meant to do that to you,” Jenna whispers more than a little pained.

“But you did, and when it was obvious I was hurt you minimized it and told others,” I heard about this from Bethany,” that I was overreacting and that I’d come around. Well I’m around and I want what I’m owed and if this scholarship is how I get some of mine back then so be it.”

Jenna has nothing for that and I turn back to my computer allowing her time to her own thoughts while mine are more concerned. Not for her but for me, I don’t’ think I’ve ever felt that vengeful before and it feels very foreign to me. Like something was crawling around inside me and just took a moment to show itself before crawling back into its hole. Jenna leaves, the library isn’t the place for her and I’m not bending to her wants and needs so there isn’t a reason for her to be in here. I get about an hour into working when a student takes a seat next to me and I feel that creeping feeling that something is about to go very wrong.

“Hey,” I hear a female voice that is kind of familiar and turn to see Marta.

“Umm hi,” I remember the last time we spoke, I wasn’t kind.

“How was your Christmas,” she asks keeping it to a whisper.

“It was good, got a car, car got stolen but returned and I paid for a new paint job,” I leave out the part she knows where I blew up on her front porch.

“Yeah, my dad wasn’t too happy when he found out someone came to our home and yelled at his wife. My brother said he’d handle it and then he comes back saying that everything will be alright. I thought he did something to you but Abigail said you were fine,” Marta gives me the other side of the confrontation I sought at her home.

“Listen I was…,” I start and she cuts me off.

“You were beaten into a corner and you lashed out, I get that and when Mom wanted to know what was wrong I had to explain to her that you’ve been picked on by a gang,” she says it and I note she’s leaving out the who,” and that you thought Carlos was in charge.”

“Because he is in charge, you kept that from her,” I state and she nods.

“My mom doesn’t need to hear about how my brother goes on with his business and handles his problems,” Marta states and I am interested now.

“I’m a problem,” I ask and she nods.

“Yes but not for what you think. You’re like the thing he can’t square up. He let people beat and humiliate you for years and now he needs to make things good with you but he can’t,” Marta explains and I nod,” He’s asked me for help too.”

“And here you are,” I note and she shakes her head.

“Yeah but his problems are his problems. I heard that somehow I was a target for some sort of punishment after everything that happened to you and then you canceled that plan,” Marta says it and I want to ask how she knows,” Imelda is my cousin and she wanted me to be safe.”

“Well considering she stole my car and nearly finished what your brother and his friends started I can’t say I understand why she was bringing me into this at all,” I counter and continue,” I just didn’t want someone hurt because of me.”

“You did the noble thing even though nobody has done that for you but I’m going to say it since nobody else will, thank you,” Marta actually thanked me for doing the right thing.

“How many others know,” I ask concerned.

“Just me, Carlos, and Imelda… and whoever was going to come after me,” she informs me and I nod,” I just wanted to say thank you for stepping in and stopping it. Nobody did it for you and you still decided to do it for me.”

“You’re right, nobody did it for me,” I remark noting that really nobody did and I have to step back and think on my family,” but some were just doing what I asked.”

Okay I lied about that but I don’t want to disturb the order of things now and with Beth and I actually cohabitating and socializing it doesn’t do any good to ruin that now. I return to my work as Marta actually does some work of her own on the computer. We don’t talk anymore and that’s probably a good thing as she’d eventually get dragged into her brother’s attempts to get me to have a conversation about how I need to forgive and forget. I can’t and I won’t and thankfully the real people I have close to me understand that. I continue my work and somehow miss final bell realizing that school has been let out only when the librarian comes by to check everything and gives me notice that I’ve been here for about an hour after school and she needs to close up. One saving grace of being late to leave is today I brought my car. Packed up and heading to the parking lot there are a few stragglers heading home and still some faculty and teachers. I get to my car and have to admire the new paint; glossy color instead of metallic or a matte but the actual color is wine red. It has no place in the history of the car but I love the deep dark red and that’s what I wanted. I’m in my car and almost get the engine started when a fast loud knocking on my window nearly scares the piss out of me. I look and see Emily, one half of the cheerleading lesbian duo minus Natalie her Hispanic partner. She looks like something is wrong and I roll down my window to see what she wants.

“Have you seen Natalie,” she asks concerned,” We always catch a ride together but I haven’t seen her since lunch.”

“I really haven’t seen her since my thing at the auditorium last Friday,” I reply keeping it short and honest.

“She’s always here, I tried calling but she didn’t answer and now I’m stuck,” she says looking around.

“Did you need a ride, I do have a car,” I state since it’s obvious and she’s Beth’s friend.

“No it’s not just a ride, I need Natalie,” Emily says and she seems distressed by something.

“Well either I can give you a ride or you can hope she comes back but if you haven’t heard anything by now it’s probably an emergency or something,” I’m using logic to help out her thoughts.

“You’re probably right but it’s just been a while since she hasn’t been there for me,” she says sounding very self centered.

“Okay well did you want the ride or did you want to step back,” I ask and she gives me an odd look,” So I can go home. I don’t want to hit you with my car.”

Emily thinks about it for a couple seconds before coming around to the passenger side and gets in. Seatbelt on and I’m driving a girl home with my car, yeah she’s in a relationship but it’s something for me. We get off school grounds and she begins giving me directions to her home. It’s a quiet ride and I take a little better notice of my first passenger. She’s about 5’7” and not super thin like most of her friends on the squad. She’s got some curves to her but not super thick either, she has to be in the pyramid somehow I guess. Brown hair straight and down to her shoulders wearing denim jeans and a big sweater round out Emily’s appearance and attire and at one point I think she figured out I was looking at her.

“So aside from today everything is good between you and Natalie,” I ask and she nods.

“It’s good, she looks out for me and I help her. It’s a very symbiotic friendship we have,” Emily explains and I think about how she’s wording it.

“But I mean you two are always together, that has to keep the bond tight,” I ask and she nods.

“Oh we’re not always together, we have separate classes but my parents don’t trust her. They think she’s a bad influence,” she says as we stop at a light.

“Well some parents aren’t very understanding but if it’s what makes you happy and you feel loved then go for it,” I state my opinion and Emily gives me a confused look.

“Happy and loved? What are you babbling about,” she asks and I wonder at her agitation.

“Well you two have been together for a couple years now I think and I’m just saying that since you are a couple,” I get that far and I’m shut down.

“Who said we were a couple? Wait you thought we were what? Gay,” Emily says it and I nod a little,” Oh no, is that how we come off?”

“Yes, well at least to me, I don’t know what other people say or think,” I explain and she gives me a questioning look.

“Why do you think we’re lesbians, what have you seen,” she asks and I think a little bit back.

“Well there was when you two wanted your own room during Beth’s slumber party, how you were clingy almost when you were looking for her a few minutes ago and then when I was forced to watch that fucking vampire movie,” sparkly piece of crap movie,” She was playing with you while you bit your pillow.”

“You saw that,” she asks and I nod,” oh my god I’m going to die.”

“I didn’t tell anyone, it’s not my business or my place to go around talking about other people’s lives,” I state my position and Emily shifts in the seat.

We’re in the awkward quiet as I’ve just stated why I thought she was a lesbian and Emily telling me that I was way off the mark. I try not to stare but Emily keeps shifting in her seat and fidgeting with her clothes. I continue my drive to her home but more and more she’s distracted by something and I can’t guess what the hell is wrong. I pull my car over and park for a second and finally ask.

“Is something wrong,” I get the words out.

Emily stops her fidgeting in my passenger seat and undoes her jeans in her seat then removes her seat belt to pull them down a little. I’m surprised to say the least but when she begins pulling my hands to her and trying to put one in her panties I have to stop.

“Pull your pants up,” I pull my hands back and restart my car.

Awkward, that’s how things started and now we’re in the just plain weird category as I drive us around for a bit and finally find a parking structure to pull in and get us up to the top. I had to pay a couple bucks for this at the gate but I figure I need to sort something out.

“What the hell are you trying to do,” I ask taking off my seat belt.

“Please, I just need this,” Emily tells me this time not getting her pants down all the way and grabs my hand again.

I pull my hand back and get out of my car, Emily is confused and when I open her door and guide her out she’s embarrassed. I close the door after her and sit her ass on the edge of my hood before pulling her pants off. I put my hand down her panties on my own and find her clit in the small amount of hair and folds and rub gently. I place my other hand on her back and hold her, she’s wet enough already and I’m just rubbing her gently. When I had Lela in the shower she held onto anything but here Emily is holding onto me and whimpering lightly before pressing herself against my fingers. I move my hand deeper as Emily spreads her legs apart a little wider and gently finger her hole while rubbing her clit with my thumb. I hear Emily panting hard as I work my finger in and out when I realize I’m doing everything. I move my hand off her back and pull one of hers to my pants and she does nothing. I pull my jeans out and move her hand down inside and right next to my cock and still nothing.

“Are you going to help me out here or is this all about you,” I whisper in Emily’s ear and she shakes her head.

“I don’t do that, I just need this,” she says pushing my hand harder against her lady parts.

I begin to pull my hand out and Emily takes hold of my man parts and simply grips and pulls moving the skin up and down my shaft. She’s really not very skilled and I’ve had skilled before but this is more awkward and clumsy as she pulls and tugs at me to keep me fingering her. I move in front of Emily and use my free hand to undo her jeans before taking the other out and pull them down to her knees along with her panties. Emily is a bit stunned and when I get my own pants undone she almost protests, almost. I don’t turn her around and bend her over, hell I don’t even spread her legs and give it to her; I simply push eight inches in between the fold of her pussy and begin rubbing back and forth. I did it the one time with Abigail and now I’m curious to see if it does me any good with a different female. It only takes about three full thrusts before Emily feels it and I watch as she closes her eyes tight and bites her bottom lip to keep from making any real noise. Since she was already wet and I was mostly hard when I put myself between her legs it doesn’t take long for what I can only assume is Emily having an orgasm. She shakes, she whimpers and finally she grabs my ass with her hands and holds me in place so she can ride out the feeling. I wait and give her some time to recover before she pushes me away from her gently and pulls me forward again. For the first time since we started she’s actually doing something and not just taking whatever I’m giving. I push against the fold of her pussy and she rolls her hips against my shaft a little and it’s enough to make me go from pleasing to being pleased. I hold her hips with my hands as he ass is resting against my car and speed up, Emily is still pulling me against her and as I begin to get close she lessens her moving till I finally pull off of her and with a few strokes cum well and good on her trimmed black hairs. We stand there for a minute or two coming back to reality of what we were doing and slowly pull our clothing back into place, Emily had to scoop my remnants off of herself before pulling her panties and jeans back up. We get back into my car and head towards her home again this time less distracted. I pull up in front of her house and she smiles at me a little before undoing her seat belt and taking my hand.

“So you’re not going to make this weird or anything? I’m not going to have you running around school telling everyone that I’m your new girlfriend or anything,” Emily asks and I shake my head,” Okay, good. So I want to talk about this a little more, maybe this weekend?”

“Okay but what this are we speaking of,” I have to ask because the list of things it could be is pretty large.

“One time we fool around I’m not making anything of it and thankfully neither are you but maybe we can explore some options and Natalie needs to talk with both of us,” Emily explains and I have to wonder.

“Why does she need to talk with us if you and she aren’t dating or whatever,” I counter and she sighs.

“Because you did for me what she usually does today, it was new but good and Natalie has been doing it for a while now. I just think the three of us should get on the same page and then we see what we want to do about it. Just keep this between you and me for now,” Emily asks finally explaining her and Natalie’s ‘relationship’.

No kiss goodbye or anything remotely like a boyfriend would get as Emily exits my car and heads into her parent’s home. I message Mom and let her know I’m on my way home since she messaged me while I was busy taking care of Emily. I get home and settle in for a quiet evening and it rolls on and into Tuesday morning where my normal routine is interrupted about twenty minutes before I am set to leave. Beth is waiting for me and she has her phone out.

“I’m getting requests for you to join the music club, the drama club and generally every art group other than the ones with painting and sculpting,” Beth says in front of the whole family.

“Okay and I’m gonna go with no,” I reply and she chuckles.

“Well I’m just giving you a heads up, nobody seems to know how to ask you anything so they’re asking me,” Beth informs me looking like she’s going to be fashionably late for school.

I head to school in my own car, it’s nice to say that, and arrive early and find that I’m almost being waited for by Natalie and Emily. Natalie has her arms folded and looks a bit pissed off while Emily is more sheepish and meek. I let them come to me since I’m further away from other people than they are leaning against my car.

“You took Emily home yesterday and you… took care of her,” Natalie asks and I nod,” Who did you tell?”

“Nobody, not their business and the only reason you know is Emily told you,” I counter and I can see her temper actually waver.

“He just helped me since you were busy, he’s alright,” Emily tells Natalie who clenches her jaw.

“Em get to class, Guy and I need to talk,” Natalie almost orders Emily who nods a little and leaves for the school and leaves us in the parking lot.

“So I guess I’m in trouble,” I ask and Natalie looks around to see who is nearby before replying.

“Fuck no, Jesus had I known you were around to take her home I would have given you a heads up. Here’s the thing, she’s kind of a nympho but she’s selfish as all hell and almost can’t go two days without getting off,” Natalie begins to explain and I have questions.

“And why doesn’t she masturbate or something? Also why doesn’t she just get a boyfriend,” I get my questions out and she is quick to answer.

“First, it doesn’t do as much for her as someone else doing it. Second she’s very selfish, the fact that you got off at all is a minor miracle,” Natalie explains and I am beginning to see what she’s talking about.

“So you’ve been her ‘girlfriend’ for years now why,” I ask and Natalie sighs.

“She’s my tutor, I keep her focused and she helps me learn so I can actually graduate, I was almost a year behind when we met and now I’m going to graduate on time,” she explains it and I have to wonder.

“So neither of you are….,” I want to ask for clarification and not use the obvious words.

“No, both had dates for the past few dances but never went anywhere because she’d get all selfish and they’d leave blue balled,” Natalie says and I laugh.

“Well I was just giving her a ride home and she decided I was safe or trust worthy or whatever,” I state my position and Natalie nods.

“Well thanks for the assist, just keep it between us and maybe I’ll give you a heads up if we need you again,” Natalie says before laughing,” I’m just playing, she was good all the way to this morning so she’ll probably call you when she can’t get me.”

We laugh a little before heading off to our classes and while my actual high school day is over in two hours I hang around working on the computer in the library on college work till lunch and decide to grab my usual meal and find Syd catching up to me smiling a bit.

“Decided to start doing concerts last week,” she asks and I laugh a little.

“Yeah I didn’t plan that but it does feel a little good to show off,” I reply and she smiles.

“Well next time sell tickets or something and give me proceeds to it, I’ll be your manager,” she offers and we both chuckle.

We head away from the cafeteria and sit down in a common area to eat and talk. Really she’s my only real friend and it is nice to just talk about the things I want to do and things she has planned. It’s all feeling good when she sees something and both of us look over and see a small group of varsity jackets heading our way lead by Brandon.

“You get lost,” Brandon tells Sydney who gives him a ‘fuck you’ look,” Seriously get lost girl, me and Guy have business.”

“I’m sorry but screw you asshole,” Sydney spits before one of the larger goons grabs her arm and pulls her away from me,” Hands off dickless.”

I stand up to help her and find myself in the hands of two more football goon being held against the wall. Brandon doesn’t look like he’s enjoying the display of power but my heart beginning to pound in my chest.

“Jenna sent me by to ask you to drop out of the scholarship, she explained how important it is to her and you spit on that. Now I’m telling you walk away, you don’t need it rich boy,” Brandon states and I don’t answer,” I’m only gonna tell you once.”

My heart is pounding so loud I can’t hear much of what he’s saying, my muscles are tight and I feel like I’m going to throw up.

Hit him

“Now you’re going to call that lady your sister got to give you the audition and you’re going to cancel,” Brandon tells me taking my phone out.

Hit him

He tries to unlock my phone but he doesn’t know the password. He holds it out to me to unlock but my arms are being held. He motions to his boys to let me go and hands me my phone, I look at the screen and put it back in my pocket. He scoffs before shoving me and when I move forward I’m grabbed again and put to the ground by his two teammates.

Hit them

“Brandon he’s struggling,” one of the two says as I try to push myself up.

Brandon reaches for my bag and I move at him about an inch and everyone but the two holding me move back in a little shock.

Hit him, hit him now

He gets it open and begins pulling my books; all two of them out when Sydney surprises everyone and kicks the bag out of his hand.

“Asshole that ain’t yours,” Syd spits at Brandon.

Brandon is pissed, well from my angle on the floor he is and he raises his hand just in time for a whistle to sound. Everyone stops everything as Coach Hayes, large white and with a mullet, steps into everything.

“What is going on here,” He asks and Brandon holds his hands up.

“We were just talking coach,” Brandon gets it out of his mouth and Coach looks at the rest of the team as they slowly back off.

“Well no horsing around on campus, understand me,” He tells everyone and I stand up.

“They assaulted me,” I say it and everyone looks at me like I’m delusional.

“Okay everyone to the office now,” Coach Hayes orders and off we go.

They separate us in the office, us being Syd and I as Coach Hayes takes the football team into a conference room. I see the principal, same one I’ve had for four years now, step into the conference room and everyone is talking calmly when I smell a bullshit session. Finally Principal Copeland, another white male only bald and heavy set due to a sugar rich diet comes out and escorts Syd into his office. I can’t see them talk but Coach Hayes walks the team out of the conference room and the office all together before coming back stands alone watching me.

“You’re Mark’s step brother aren’t you,” he asks and I nod,” You might want to listen to him sometime, he’ll help you out with how things go.”

Syd is released from the office and Principal Copeland signs her out of school for the day and finally turns to me.

“Mr. Donnelly, I thought your days of visiting me were over,” He jokes, I don’t laugh,” So I’ve spoken with the team and your friend. I understand young people have disagreements and that’s what this was, a difference of opinion. I’m going to sign you out for the day and you can come back tomorrow with a better attitude.”

“What about Brandon and his goon squad,” I ask and Copeland grimaces.

“They were talking to you and you reacted in a way that forced them to restrain you, they don’t want to make a big deal out of it so I’m not suspending you for engaging in a physical altercation on school grounds,” Copeland says the words and my heart rate picks up again.

“They assaulted me and Sydney and they get to walk while I’m threatened with a suspension,” I state standing up.

“Mr. Donnelly this isn’t the first time you’ve accused another group of harassment,” Copeland gets that far and I am spitting mad.

“Harassment? You allowed people to kick the crap out of me for over three years and when I said something you did nothing. Now here I am again and you still do
nothing,” I get the words out and Copeland is taking his authoritative stance.

“It’s your word against theirs,” he says it and I’m about to overload.

“It’s always their word against mine and for some reason you still seem to think I’m the problem. He just tells them what to say and the football team is let off easy,” I point at Coach Hayes,” while I’m threatened and my friend is sent home?”

“Mr. Donnelly you will show some respect,” Hayes says it and I turn on him.

“Respect has never been shown to me by anyone but maybe five people at this school and neither of you are on that list so if you want respect find someone who isn’t being screwed around with,” I bark at Principal Copeland.

“Fine, since you obviously have trouble controlling yourself and needed to be restrained by others enjoy your three days off Mr. Donnelly,” Principal Copeland informs me and turns to the secretary,” Have the on staff officer escort him to his car or have them ensure he calls a ride.”

I am fuming mad and watch as Mr. Copeland enters his office and closes the door; Coach Hayes shakes his head before leaving the office. I think for about four seconds before following him out and get about five feet behind him when I decide to let him know I’m there.

“Hey Coach Asshole, I’m not done with you,” I state and he stops to look at me surprised.

“You’re suspended son,” he informs me and I agree,” You might want to leave before you get arrested.”

“And you might want to think about the fucking hell you just brought onto your team,” I bark and he gives me a skeptical look.

“You needed to be restrained you were and now you’re overreacting,” Coach Hayes says and I get in his face.

“No I’m thinking very clearly, I’m going to have three days off so I wonder what I can do with my free time,” he doesn’t look impressed,” I know, first I’ll do what you suggest and speak with my brother, you remember him. I’m pretty sure between the two of us we can find every big sponsor the football team has. Second I have five days now to contact every single person on that list and with my families connections have them pull every single cent out of the program, you promote bullies so you should be punished for it.”

“Now hold on a second kid,” Coach Hayes tries to stop me but I’m just getting started.

“Between the socialites and the legal counsel I don’t think you’ll be able to get anyone to kick a penny into the football team next year. Well not anybody who has the spare cash make a difference. And last I’m going to contact my Step Father the lawyer and he’s going to bind you and that hack of an administrator up in so much litigation you’ll be lucky if they let you into the schools in Mexico,” I get the last part out as the security officer finds us.

I don’t let the officer touch me as I head towards my car and leave the grounds in a quick manner. I get home and find Rosa there and she’s surprised that I’m home early and concerned when she sees my face. I don’t talk to her now and instead head to my room and change before hitting my weight set. I don’t know how long I’ve been lifting weights for but when Mom comes in she’s upset.

“Guy what the hell happened, Rosa called me and told me you came home and were angry,” Mom gets it out and I drop the weight in my hand.

I explain all of it, what happened in the commons and after, and Mom listens quietly before giving me a hug and telling me to take a shower. Showering helps me figure out how tired and sore my muscles are and when I’m done Mom calls me down to Mr. Delauter’s office and I explain everything to him. They listen and ask very few questions when I’m told by Mr. Delauter ‘I’ll take care of it’. I have trust but I really want to see everyone squirm for screwing with me.

Wednesday comes and goes with me sitting around doing nothing while Mom is out at work or a home or something and Mr. Delauter is at the office. Thursday on the other hand is completely different as my phone begins to explode with news from students at school. Coach Hayes and Principal Copeland have been put on administrative leave and formal questioning is being brought before the school board about my incident. I get a message from Jenna about Brandon and a couple of football players are being questioned about them asking me to drop out of the scholarship but I don’t respond, fuck her. Bethany and Abigail come home from school same day and Beth has a reserved look on her face while Abby is smiling.

“So Dad was at school today with half the district administrators,” Abby informs me and I shrug,” They handed Mr. Copland and Coach Hayes their leave papers and are bringing what happened to you before the district.”

“Good, about time someone got screwed with other than me,” I state and Beth shakes her head.

“Yeah but half the school is gonna suffer now, you threatened their money and now every sports team is looking at zero big sponsors next year,” Beth explains and I shrug.

“I won’t be there and neither will you. I understand that those are your people but that school has been hell for over three and a half years for me and if the people who turned a blind eye and laughed at me suffer because I finally put my foot down then so be it,” I keep it short but I’m feeling angry all over again.

“Okay but look at it from a larger stand point, they pull all funding and the sports teams will have to use funding for other events like arts and sciences. They have done it
before,” Abby explains and again I shrug.

“Well then if they want my demands I’ll make it simple when I talk to your Dad, nothing major really. Fire Copeland and Hayes and suspend Brandon and his posse,” I state and while Abby smiles Beth cringes.

“That will screw everyone but you, can’t they just apologize,” Beth asks and immediately realizes what she said.

I can spout off at her right now but I don’t. I don’t because I don’t need to, for once I’m feeling like I’m in control and doing something to make the world right again. I settle in my room and talk with Sydney online a little; she’s being avoided at school but has been asked to speak on behalf of the team if needed. She laughed in their faces and left, I remind her to watch her back and she informs me she was watching mine when this started. I’m settled in my bed and thinking about everything before drifting off to sleep.

Hurt them
Hurt them all
Make them bleed
Make them suffer

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